no-one-cares-about-you

[no-one-cares-about-you]

Never thought I'd be back on this blog. Found these messages I sent to Eljay 6 years ago. I was always so horrible to you, and I am sorry. You'll never see this, but maybe I can try to right some wrongs, even just for my own conscious.

Eljay, if this ever gets back to you somehow: I was the one who sent those anonnys to you from 2014 upwards. I was the one who stole shit out of your locker. I was the one who outed you. I was the one who found your side blogs and shared your posts to our friends at school. I texted you from various numbers and accounts. I posed as different friends and partners. I was the one who made the lolcow forum. I made up rumours, and tried to make them come true. I tried catfish you. I did so much shit. So fucking much. That doesn't even list half of it.

I had a very vivid dream a couple of night ago, and I was right back in 6th year. It was the first week you didn't didn't come in. I thought you had killed yourself, and I was the one responsible. 2 weeks passes, you still didn't come in. I thought it was what I wanted, but I started to panic. 3 weeks. Your locker was cleared out. I thought for sure you were gone, but the school didn't want to tell us for it being so close to the Leaving Cert, they didn't want to traumatise us.

For 2 months, you weren't seen. I thought I had seen a ghost when I saw your bag by a window outside the exam center on the 1st day. Then I saw you, and I woke up.

My boyfriend found out what I did. I've never had anyone so disappointment in me. I won't do this to you again. I'm sorry.

You have not used starshine-queer since 2016. I believe your current is bit-of-whimsy still, although you haven't been active there either. You rightfully have me blocked everywhere. I will try to make things right. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.