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nocthena · 1 year

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No wonder Izuku is confused regarding romantic feelings.. he doesn’t know how it feels NOT to love. It’s just normal for him.. he’s loved Katsuki since he can remember..hasn’t realised it as a kid and hasn’t had contact with any girls growing up to know how love feels..

Which is why he started distancing himself from Katsuki once he got into UA.. once he started actually spending time with girls.. once he started realising that all this time, he’s been having romantic feelings for his childhood friend… I mean I’d become repressed to death too.

It wasn’t the case of suddenly developing feelings. But rather.. Izuku realising that the feelings he’s been having his entire life.. were actually romantic. Chances are, no one told him he can romantically love someone of the same sex growing up.. so he’s never questioned it.

It’s why he’s questioning everything after black whip activated.. after he lost control of his HEART for his childhood friend for the first time. It’s where he began realising what his feelings ACTUALLY may be. Tho he already shows signs of this during DvK2.

Where he admits to US that he doesn’t feel good about his feelings and about imitating Katsuki. He’s too embarrassed to tell him this. But after Black Whip.. EVEN WE lose access to Izuku’s internal thoughts about Katsuki. And we still haven’t gotten them back.

But now that he’s realised it, he doesn’t think Katsuki could ever feel the same way. In chapter 257, he thinks about how blessed he is to be able to talk to Kacchan normally. But before this he has a thought.. his face changes.. but he cuts himself and smiles, saying he’s blessed.

I think he’s realised he wants so much more than that.. but that he should be grateful for having him in his life at all. It’s also why Katsuki’s apology hit him.. why he was rendered speechless and why his pupils expanded to the max.

Someone he’s loved this whole time, wanting to be by his side? But that scared Izuku away. We don’t know why. Is he scared of OFA turning against him if he lets Katsuki too close? Or is it just Izuku still not believing Katsuki could ever love him back so being close to him.. hurts.

We have Katsuki’s narration in chapter 348 that tells us Izuku never realised when someone has romantic feelings for him until he gets a spelled out confession. So he DOESN’T think Katsuki loves him back. He will have to spell it out to Izuku. This narration foreshadows his confession. Just like it foreshadowed a BUNCH of things that recently happened, but that’s for another post!

But one thing is for sure.. Izuku is over his little embarrassments around girls. Whether he realised he’s gay which is what I believe.. or he knows he’s bisexual and simply got used to girls the way he’s used to guys all these years.. we don’t know.

But his feelings are gonna be a mess and until Katsuki grabs him by his shoulders, shakes him and yells into his face that he’s in love with him, Izuku will keep suppressing his feelings and OFA will keep punishing him for it. He’s confused still. And only Katsuki can help.

It’s why he was gone every time Izuku lost control of his heart.. it’s why he wasn’t allowed to be by Izuku’s side in the hospital.. because he would have told Izuku how he truly feels after witnessing all this.. and we wouldn’t be having a problem we have now.

Izuku sorting his feelings out would have been a crucial part of the strategy. And to prevent this from happening, Katsuki was taken off of every scene where he could witness how special he is to Izuku. And we saw his face when he finally realised it..I can barely recognise him.. if someone showed me this panel months ago and said it’s Katsuki.. much less calling out to IZUKU.. I’d laugh and call them silly..

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nocthena · 1 year

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I was thinking about how the only way Hori could have Izuku secretly be in love with Katsuki and make it make sense is if he takes his POV away. He’s the narrator. You’d expect to have access to his thoughts about everything. So if he’s in love with Katsuki…we’d know..right?

So if we had access to Izuku’s thoughts the whole time about EVERYTHING, hearing nothing about his feelings and then suddenly revealing he loves Katsuki, would come out of nowhere and would be kinda weird. Like if he loves him, why did he never think of him romantically?

But if Hori removed Izuku’s pov entirely and started giving us zero thoughts..then he can reveal Izuku’s feelings later..together with all the thoughts he’s taken away before. It wouldn’t come out of nowhere when you realise his pov regarding Katsuki has slowly been taken away..

Soon after Dvk2, Izuku began realising his feelings aren’t exactly platonic and black whip nailed it down..that’s why after that, we don’t get any more insight into his thoughts about Katsuki.. we go from full monologues, to unfinished sentences and finally, only face expressions.

This is the BIGGEST GIVEAWAY Izuku’s feelings are romantic!

And we’ll most likely go back and see what went on in Izuku’s mind during all the big moments where all we had were face expressions. Because those were the biggest ever bkdk developments that Izuku gave us zero intel on and it’s necessary.

Because in all these moments, Izuku’s thoughts were ROMANTIC. Whatever he thought when Katsuki found him under the rain, whatever he thought when Katsuki almost died.. when he apologised.. when Izuku saw his body with an all might card next to him.. If we had access to izuku’s thoughts here in these moments, we’d know Izuku is IN LOVE with Katsuki.. and we weren’t supposed to know. Not yet at least. And so Hori didn’t show us Izuku’s thoughts. There is NO OTHER REASON he would do this. It’s not like Izuku stopped caring.

It’s not like Kacchan isn’t important.. the whole last battle has been set up to be around them.. Kacchan has been confirmed to be Izuku’s closest one.. targeted because of that.. Izuku keeps losing control of his heart still… It’s Hori HIDING SOMETHING FROM US!

But this is brilliant because like I said.. the reveal of Izuku’s feelings will make sense this way. Because it will be backed up with past moments. Shonen mangas always do this where MC doesn’t reveal his feelings till the end. But it’s always poorly executed. It comes out of nowhere, it’s never explained why the MC was oblivious or how they got together in the first place..they’re just somehow married in the end. But the way Hori is doing it, is VERY SMART. He put his own spin on the “oblivious MC” trope and it will MAKE SENSE.

It’s not that his narration is gone entirely. We have inner thoughts about other people, including Ochako. But he never thinks anything romantic of her. In fact, he thinks about his heroism. He thinks of his class. “This is the story of how WE ALL became the greatest heroes.”

Because there’s nothing to hide from us regarding her. But his thoughts about Katsuki are entirely off limits to us. We get NOTHING. Notice how here as soon as Katsuki shows up.. the narration is GONE. All we have is a face expression..

As I said, Izuku also has narrations during Ochako’s speech and again we know he doesn’t think anything romantic. But we don’t have ANY access to his thoughts while Katsuki is apologising. But we do see his maximised pupil. Closeups.. expression…details are IMPORTANT TO HORI!

So Izuku’s thoughts being entirely gone about Katsuki and Katsuki only lately..is the biggest giveaway for me that he is in love with him. Hori is doing this because there’s something he will reveal later. Just like how Ochako’s thoughts about Izuku have been hidden lately.

Because there’s a twist down the line. One that’s not typical for shonen.. with both of them. And I CAN’T WAIT FOR IT.

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nocthena · 1 year

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I want to talk about Toga, the way everyone collectively misunderstood her and why her and Izuku are one GIANT parallel. They’re basically the same person but a different version.. I’ll explain.

So first... I feel like there’s a misunderstanding with Toga no one is addressing.

“I want to be LIKE them” and “I want to BE THEM” are two different things that both Ochako and many other readers actually see as the same thing. And it’s NOT.

Izuku is BECOMING Katsuki.. turning into Katsuki.. SUBCONSCIOUSLY!!! He doesn’t try to be LIKE Katsuki.. if that makes sense..this is what Toga is saying.. and I feel like the extent of Izuku’s transformation shows the extent of his suppressed feelings for Katsuki.

The more he suppresses them.. the more extreme this imitation becomes. He started with just spouting insults and talking like Katsuki which he admitted during DvK2..and then he gradually has been looking more and more like Katsuki throughout the chapters.. And now..with how he literally looks EXACTLY like Katsuki in latest chapters.. it means he is pushing and suppressing his feelings so far back.. more than he ever has and it’s NOT GOOD!!!

We can see where that suppression took Toga. She’s gone insane and she even said it.. the more she pushes her feelings.. the stronger they become.

So the more Izuku represses his feelings for Katsuki.. the more extreme this imitation becomes.

So that means he took the “control your heart” quote as “ignore and get rid of your feelings”, which Toga showed us is WRONG AND ONLY MAKES THINGS WORSE!

Izuku is going dangerously down her path. And he needs Katsuki to pull him back.

Toga is Izuku gone wrong.

Toga is the embodiment of love being lethal.. love being able to hurt people..to scar them..to kill them even..without any bad intentions..Katsuki DIED because Izuku loves him..and he’s gonna have a scar right across his HEART for the rest of his life BECAUSE IZUKU LOVES HIM.. how romantic..

Isn’t it odd that Ochako’s villain is a very exaggerated, extreme embodiment of Izuku’s feelings for KATSUKI? This is a very interesting choice Horikoshi has made. Also a genius one.

Toga has the best intentions.. she hurts people out of LOVE..It’s why she doesn’t trigger Izuku’s danger sense.. and why he’s confused about it.. and yet she hurts and kills the people she loves while BECOMING THEM.

Sounds EXACTLY like Izuku.

Izuku has also been hurting Katsuki by distancing himself without a proper explanation. After he came back from the streets and accepted everyone back, he still kept a distance from Katsuki. Hasn’t addressed his sacrifice, scars, apology.. not to us, not to him.

And all this time, Katsuki hasn’t said a word to any of it.. because he doesn’t think he deserves anything from Izuku..he gives without asking for anything in return. But he’s in pain.. and eventually, he ended up DEAD BECAUSE of Izuku’s feelings..

Remember how Toga killed her first love? Well so did Izuku.. without meaning to.. indirectly..

Him and Toga are similar.. they DO hurt people they love with the way they handle their emotions but Izuku isn’t aware of it. Hence the.. “I would never want to hurt someone I love”. Said MINUTES before Katuski gets hurt more than ever before and ultimately killed BECAUSE of his relationship with Izuku.

BECAUSE Izuku approached his emotions to the extreme like Toga.. but he did it in the opposite direction. Entirely hiding it and leaving Katsuki and the rest of the heroes, entirely unprepared for SFO to take advantage of Izuku’s weakness..

Anyways. Toga isn’t talking about admiration. Toga isn’t taking about acting like the one you love cause you wanna be like them because they’re your idol. This is why Ochako got confused..she misunderstood Toga that admiration = love and she was questioning herself.

Izuku also misunderstood it. But unlike Ochako, Izuku is aware that admiration ISN’T love. So he tells Toga “well I’ve always wanted to be like All Might but I don’t have feelings for him.” So Izuku misunderstood Toga’s idea of love as simple admiration and dismissed it as wrong.

But this isn’t what Toga is talking about. Toga is talking about EMBODYING THE ONE YOU LOVE. Becoming them … to feel closer to them. This is a realistic idea of love.. we do pick up habits of our loved ones.. subconsciously.. we get into their interests.. but we don’t wanna be LIKE them.. however this realisatic idea of love is not as heightened as Toga presents it. She does so because of her quirk. She’s exaggerating.

Another KEY difference is Izuku also NEVER says: “I’m gonna win like Kacchan” instead.. he freaking TURNS into him and begins SUBCONSCIOUSLY imitating him when he wants to win. Aka what Toga is talking about. And what Ochako is doing.. is what Izuku did with All Might. And he had to stop because he was sabotaging himself.

So why are Izuku’s and Ochako’s POVS hidden from us lately? Why don’t we get any narrations from them regarding certain things? Izuku’s narrations about Katsuki have been gone for a long time. And Ochako’s narrations about Deku have always been vague but they entirely vanished after chapter 322.

Because both of them misunderstood Toga’s idea of love and interpreted them as two separate things.

Ochako doesn’t love Izuku. And Izuku.. LOVES Katsuki. This puts a massive twist on boring shonen romance and heteronormativity that’s becoming a problem.

Katsuki is ironically the only one who learned how to love correctly..

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nocthena · 1 year

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I went back and read chapters with Gentle and La Brava again..and I wanna go over why they’re just a GIANT PARALLEL TO BKDK. GUYS IT’S ACTUALLY INSANE!!!! They almost feel like they don’t have any relevance to the plot and yet, they exist. First of all, their eye colors remind of bkdk! But this is nothing compared to what these two actually are.. Let's go!

Now first, I wanna talk about little La Brava before I move onto Gentle which I'm super excited about! When La Brava is recalling her crush that rejected her, we learn that she expresses her feelings through admiration. She gushes about how cool her crush was and how amazing everything he did was.. she gets called a STALKER. Does this sound familiar?

Izuku always gushes about how amazing Katsuki is..sometimes he doesn’t even have control over it. And at one point, Katsuki asks for a restraining order. He calls him a stalker in Japanese. So there’s a parallel. This tells us Izuku’s feelings for Katsuki are indeed romantic because we see this same thing in La Brava.

Next..La Brava’s quirk seems oddly symbolic too. It makes the person she loves the most temporarily stronger. Think about it. Izuku gets his power boost from his feelings for Katsuki.. Katsuki makes him stronger. Katsuki was the sole reason Izuku got OFA. Izuku’s body only moved when he realised it was Katsuki. His full cowling worked because of Katsuki.. his OFA quirks started triggering because of Katsuki and now? He’s using 2nds quirk and merging other quirks into one because of Katsuki.. Sure, other people have given him a power up.. but all big things, all evolutions..all NEW things..happened because of KATSUKI.

On the other side, Izuku makes KATSUKI stronger..

Katsuki was on the verge of DEATH here.. later we find out he’s barely made it in the hospital.. and yet, he not only got up because of his feelings for Izuku, HE PROPELLED HIMSELF AND FOUGHT! Because he recalled how seeing Izuku about to die, felt like HE was going to die too.. we DO NOT TALK ABOUT THIS ENUGH????

Notice a bunch of OFA stars around Katsuki.. Izuku’s love opened the door of OFA to him fully in this moment and because Katsuki loves him back, he could step through the door.

And this helps Katsuki get the strength he needs to move again.

Izuku kept thinking about Kacchan in OFA realm.. and AFO told him that his rage is staring to eat away at OFA’s rules.

HERE WE FIND OUT THAT EMOTIONS TOO STRONG FOR THE WIELDER TO HANDLE CAN OVERRIDE OFA AND BEND IT’S RULES!!! AFO is trying to use Shigaraki's hatred to get the job done but..can Izuku's LOVE do the same thing?? It sure can.

We know from before that OFA has been called a quirk that connects people’s hearts. We know there is only one feeling that’s too much for Izuku to handle which makes his OFA dangerously go out of control and that’s whatever he feels for KATSUKI!!! So could Izuku have somehow changed the rules of OFA cause he loves Katsuki that damn much that he was able to SHARE IT’S POWER WITH HIM VIA PURELY THE CONNECTION OF THEIR HEART? If Katsuki doesn’t actually have OFA in his DNA, that explains why no one can sense it. OFA is still within Izuku, but Katsuki has access to it. Oddly similar to La Brava’s quirk, no? It's very romantic and sappy but honestly, I wouldn't put it past Horikoshi.

So this was the moment when Kacchan got FULL access to OFA..

La Brava’s quirk activates in a time of CRISIS for her lover.. Katsuki’s cluster was activated because of his love for Izuku also in a time of CRISIS! He needed to save his LIFE.

Control yourself.. or lose the one you love. Edgeshot needs time to save Katsuki’s life. And so this feeling of love gave Izuku such a boost that he’s using all his quirks AT ONCE together with 2nds.. but it’s temporary. Much like La Brava’s quirk. The fuel will run out.. Just like any car engine, Izuku is bound to stall.. and it won't be good.

Thi is also gigantic because Izuku and Katsuki always follow each other and look what Gentle says? “She would never be happy escaping on her own.. she wild go to commit crimes beyond anything we’ve done so far.”

Izuku doesn’t wanna win without Kacchan..and what is he doing now? Acting like a VILLAIN..he’s out for BLOOD..he punched a HUGE hole in SFO’s chest....He did to him the same thing he did to Katsuku.. how romantic..and not very heroic..

“If I can’t be with him..I’ll just die.” Kacchan died without Izuku and now Izuku is on a dangerous path to die without Kacchan..

Let’s move onto GENTLE! This is the juicy part down here !

“I fought with my feelings on the line until all that’s left in me deep down was a HEART THAT BEATS FOR SOMEONE ELSE..”

Notice how we have both Gentle’s THOUGHTS and his words here.. words.. in which he LIES! He lies that he kidnapped and brainwashed La Brava to protect her, while his thoughts are ROMANTIC.. he let his heart beat for someone else..

Sounds familiar?

Yep. Izuku LIED about the true black whip trigger but unlike Gentle, WE DIDN’T HAVE ACCESS TO HIS THOUGHTS!!! Horikoshi didn't let us hear them.

Because if we did.. we’d realize they were romantic. Much like how Gentle’s thoughts were romantic while his words told platonic lies. And this was only about 20 chapters before the Black Whip activation.. it’s a great foreshadowing.

Gentle also blames himself for roping La Brava into his mess.. because she didn’t want to let him do things on his own even if it meant she was in danger.

Even if it meant she was going to DIE.

Much like how Katsuki followed Izuku into these last two wars, knowing fully well he could die. And he DID die..BECAUSE of his relationship with Izuku...BECAUSE IZUKU HASN'T BEEN HONEST ABOUT LOSING CONTROL OF HIS HEART FOR KATSUKI..and he left him and all the other heroes on the battlefield, unprepared for SFO's shenanigans.

Moving on...La Brava describes Gentle as her only LIGHT. THIS IS ANOTHER HUGE PARALLEL!!

This is the most telling part because Katuski IS IZUKU’S light. From the moment he found him on the streets, to his apology, to Katsuki being the only one making Izuku come back and talk in the bath scene.. and finally.. To chapter 362, where Katsuki died..being called “LIGHT fades to rain.” And we see the light in Izuku’s eyes and even his hair entirely fade the moment his eyes lay on Katsuki’s dead body. Horikoshi also drew a SUN card with Katsuki on it and he drew Izuku as a SUNFLOWER and we know sunflowers NEED the sun, always look for it and die without it.

Horikoshi’s depiction of romance is just that. Two people that love each other are each others light. They are each others closest person, they make each other STRONGER and they can’t imagine their life without each other. This is all present in bkdk.

Here is another parallel to both Izuku and La Brava asking for the one they love back in a very similar manner!

Gentle also uses EYELINER TO LOOK LIKE LA BRAVA!! And we've seen Izuku literally transform into Katsuki especially lately..

All of these little clues put throughout the manga are very smart because Horikoshi will want to escape the accusations that he made bkdk canon because of the shippers. There are clues from the very beginning that this was his intention. And I’m sure we’ll get a ton of flashbacks to connect it all in the end.

Gentle and La Brava are each others whole world. And we know Izuku canonically can’t imagine his world without Katsuki.. and Katsuki can’t imagine his life without Izuku. It’s why he was ready to die for him.. and he died with a smile on his face, thinking about him.. caling out to him..

La Brava doesn’t want to be LIKE Gentle.. Izuku doesn’t want to be LIKE Katsuki.. I spoke about the misunderstanding regarding Toga's idea of love here. But they admire the one they love greatly, they trust them with their life and they want to be WITH them. This is a beautiful and quite a genius parallel to bkdk.

And finally at the end.. people say that Gentle and La Brava don’t represent bkdk because they're different and hence they’re not a parallel.

Yes.. they do not represent bkdk. There is really no Katsuki in Gentle and La Brava’s relationship all that much on the surface.

Because they BOTH represent different aspects of IZUKU.

La brava represents Izuku’s happy, innocent side of his feelings for Katsuki. Him hyping him up, gushing about how amazing he is.. Katsuki being Izuku’s light …Izuku following him around all the time.. to the point where both Izuku and La Brava get being called stalkers.

Gentle on the other hand represents the dark aspect of Izuku’s feelings for Katsuki. The loss of control of his heart.. his feelings getting the best of him.. him bringing the person he loves in danger and roping them into his mess..

They aren’t supposed to represent bkdk because they’re not even remotely similar to bkdk. But they both represent Izuku’s own feelings.

Gentle told Izuku to follow through with his feelings. And we haven’t seen Izuku do this yet.

It was almost like Izuku’s battle with his own feelings.

As he was fighting the two of them.

A warning from the future. In the form of Gentle.

La brava, the happy, good side of Izuku’s feelings.. was able to power up Gentle, Izuku’s dark side of his feelings with her “LOVE” quirk,. But it was only temporary. Why? Because they have to FUSE!!!!

Gentle never actually voiced his feelings for La Brava. She tells him she loves him multiple times, professes her undying love for him.. but all he says is "Thank you, La Brava.." and he speaks about how his heart beats for her. We know he loves her. They're a couple... but because he represents Izuku's dark side and we're not seeing Izuku admit or face his feelings at all...we haven't heard Gentle SAY IT either. But we have heard both of them speak how their heart is being affected by La Brava..and Katsuki..

Oof..this was super long. if you've made it this far, thanks for reading. In conclusion, Gentle and La Brava's arc came right before Izuku begins losing control of his heart for KATSUKI..and there is a little comic of these two that's comes with the chapter where Izuku's Black Whip triggers! As if to tell us.. hey..pssst...these two are RELATED!

"La Brava loves him enough to join him in all capers.." Well... Katsuki loves Izuku that much too..he followed him everywhere..even if that meant he was going to die..

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nocthena · 1 year

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the iconic foot receive ™

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nocthena · 1 year

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people moving to tumblr from twitter please fucking reblog art likes literally dont do anything except make the artist upset bc they have 2 reblogs and 55 likes

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nocthena · 1 year

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Night sky

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nocthena · 3 years

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Sirius sending Remus an anonymous valentine, because he’s too scared to expose his feelings but knows Remus deserves love on this holiday. Remus can tell it’s from Sirius by his handwriting (or some other clue!) Thanks darling!

I love this and I hope you like what I did with your prompt. Thanks for sending it in!

oOoOoOoOoOoOo

Valentine’s Day at Hogwarts was always a sight to behold; whether or not you cared for it was a different story.

The entire castle had been decorated with a red and pink heart motif and the Great Hall looked as if a Cupid himself had decorated it, complete with tiny cherubs floating in the air above the high rafters, occasionally shooting down arrows that would explode in glittering confetti before they reached the students. The confetti, however, covered all of the tables and most of the students.

It made Remus feel nauseated.

“Ugh this is a bit too much, don’t you think?”

Remus turned to Lily who had sat down next to him at the Gryffindor table. “You mean you don’t buy into all of this love nonsense?”

Lily shrugged. “Love is all well and good, but these decorations are a bit over the top, don’t you think?”

“Well it would be nice not to have to pick the glitter out of my porridge.”

“I think it’s sweet!” Dorcas supplied, sitting down across from Lily, Marlene sliding in next to her.

“You would, you big sap.” Marlene smiled, grabbing the platter of eggs from in front of Remus and serving both Dorcas and herself.

Lily smirked. “I heard you both this morning exchanging gifts so I don’t think you should mock Dor for being the only sap.”

Marlene rolled her eyes as Dorcas grinned, giving her girlfriend a kiss on the cheek.

“Did someone say something about gifts?”

Remus looked up to see James standing behind Lily, a huge smile on his face as he looked adoringly at his girlfriend of three months. He presented her with a huge bouquet of flowers he had been hiding behind his back.

“Lilies for my Lily-flower.”

“Oh James, they’re beautiful!” Lily pressed a chaste kiss to his lips and sat back down making room for him on her other side. “There’s so many different lilies here!”

James grinned. “Ah, but only one Lily is the most beautiful and special. You.”

Even Remus had to smile at that line. Even though he didn’t enjoy this holiday, he was happy his mate had finally gotten the girl he’d been pining after for over six years. He watched smiling as Lily blushed and kissed James again, exclaiming that he was too extravagant when he slipped a gold bracelet over her wrist.

“Ah, young love! How sweet it is!”

Remus looked over at Sirius who had sat down across from him and was making exaggerated gagging motions over James and Lily’s display of affection.

Remus kicked him lightly in the shin. “Let Prongs have his moment, you cynical twat.”

Sirius flashed him a wry grin. “I am not cynical, my dear Moonbeam. I just think this holiday is a bit overrated, don’t you think?”

Remus shrugged, his stomach clenching as Sirius’ stormy grey eyes met his. “I guess it’s alright if you’ve got a partner, but I could do without all this confetti raining down.”

“Ah, but maybe Cupid will work his magic on you today, Moony!” Sirius winked. “You never know.”

Remus snorted. “Fat chance.”

He watched Sirius serve himself some breakfast and couldn’t help but fantasize that Sirius’ words would come true, though he was sure they wouldn’t. Cupid would never be able to give him what his heart really wanted. Sirius.

Just then, the post owls swooped in delivering packages, letters and cards all over the Great Hall. He was surprised when a large barn owl left three cards in front of him.

“Blimey, Padfoot! That’s an even bigger haul than last year!”

At Peter’s exclamation, Remus looked across at Sirius and the veritabel mountain of cards and packages owls had dropped in front of him. Sirius was red-faced at the attention and shrugged it off.

“Just silly birds, you know how it is.” Sirius muttered. He kept eating his breakfast and didn’t so much as look through his gifts.

Remus raised an eyebrow, perplexed at Sirius’ attitude when last year he had been gloating over all of the cards and love notes. He’d been on a different date almost every night for the few weeks after Valentine’s that year. Thinking back though, Remus couldn’t even remember the last time Sirius had mentioned going out with a girl in the last few months.

“Everything alright, Padfoot?” Remus asked softly.

Sirius looked up, his expression guarded. “S’fine. Just too much nonsense, is all. But hey, look at you, Moony, you got some admirers too!”

Remus blushed as their other friends looked over at his cards and teased him to start opening them. He rolled his eyes, but obliged, tearing open the envelope of the first card.

He blushed as he read the first one and James snatched it out of his hand to read aloud. “Roses are red, violets are blue, I think you’re clever, and sexy too. Moony, who is Calista Hutchins?”

His friends laughed and Remus could feel his face get even redder. “She’s a Ravenclaw girl I tutored last semester.”

He opened the second card and before he could even read it, Peter grabbed it and read the equally silly poem aloud. “Moony, this one’s from that Hufflepuff girl in your Runes class, isn’t it?”

Remus nodded, his cheeks burning from the attention and grabbed the third envelope before his friends could. He opened it and took out a piece of parchment, turning so he could read it away from his friend’s prying eyes.

“I don’t love you as if you were a rose of salt, topaz, or arrow of carnations that propagate fire: I love you as one loves certain obscure things, secretly, between the shadow and the soul.I love you as the plant that doesn’t bloom but carries the light of those flowers, hidden, within itself, and thanks to your love the tight aroma that arose from the earth lives dimly in my body.I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where, I love you directly without problems or pride:I love you like this because I don’t know any other way to love,except in this form in which I am not nor are you, so close that your hand upon my chest is mine, so close that your eyes close with my dreams.

Remus - I want you to know that you are loved, today and every day, for who you truly are.”

Remus stared at the slip of parchment for several moments, awestruck, before he realized James was calling his name.

“Remus, mate! What’s that one say?” James prodded.

Remus cleared his throat. “More of the same, yeah, just another poem.”

Lily eyed him suspiciously and before Remus could react, she had snatched the parchment from his hand and begun to read it silently.

“Lily, no!” Remus tried to grab the poem back, but Lily stood and moved out of his reach still reading silently.

When she finished reading she turned to Remus, her eyes bright and a soft smile on her face. “Oh Remus…this is beautiful.”

Remus flushed and took the parchment back. “It is and I can’t believe you took it from me.”

Lily placed her hand on his arm. “I’m sorry for that, I thought it was another silly poem, but that’s not silly at all, is it?”

Remus shook his head, not trusting himself to speak.

“Oi, what’s so special about Remus’ Valentine?” Marlene called out.

“Well, for one, it’s a real love poem and more importantly, someone who knows Pablo Neruda.” Lily explained.

“Who?” James asked, his face twisted in confusion,

“He’s a Chilean poet.” Sirius offered.

They all turned to look at Sirius whose eyes widened at the scrutiny. “What? I do read, you know?”

Remus sat back down and listened to his friends teasing and joking comments half-heartedly, but his focus was drawn to Sirius. He studied him as covertly as he could manage and was surprised to see how nervous his friend appeared.

Sirius’ cheeks were a bit flushed and he kept biting his lip. He was engaged in conversation with Marlene and Dorcas, but he kept stealing glances at Remus when he thought he wasn’t looking. He noticed how fidgety he seemed, his hands constantly moving, his foot tapping against the stone floor. What clinched it for Remus was the way Sirius’ eyes kept straying to the parchment next to Remus’ plate.

If it hadn’t been for all of the little things leading up to it, Remus may have dismissed it as a prank or even a sweet, but misguided, gesture so Remus wouldn’t feel left out on Valentine’s Day. However, If he started to add up all the seemingly innocent occurrences that had been niggling the back of his mind for the last two months though - well maybe there was more to it than that.

Remus had harbored a crush on Sirius for well over a year now and had done everything he could to keep it to himself; he knew there was no way Sirius could ever feel the same way. His friendship was too important for Remus to risk losing, so Remus tried to act as if the mere sight of his best mate didn’t set his heart racing.

Over the last couple of months though, Sirius had become more attentive and Remus had to constantly remind himself that he was surely imagining things and reading into his actions more because of his own misguided feelings.

He tried to tell himself that the lingering touches, the soft smiles, and the way Sirius seemed to be constantly everywhere he was was just his imagination wishing for what he couldn’t have.

But this was just too much of a coincidence for him to ignore.

He recalled the night a month before when Sirius had plopped himself down on Remus’ bed next to him, complaining he was bored and for Remus to stop reading. He had asked what was so interesting in his book and Remus had told him he was reading a volume of Pablo Neruda’s poetry. Sirius had scoffed at the thought of poetry and Remus had rolled his eyes and said that maybe one day he would really want to woo a girl and Neruda’s beautiful poetry could help.

Sirius had rolled his eyes, but maybe - the thought alone had the butterflies in Remus’ stomach dancing.

It was too great a coincidence though. He knew there was only one way to find out.

Remus took a deep breath. “Hey Padfoot, want to go back to the tower and drop your haul off before we head to class?”

Sirius met his unwavering gaze and swallowed hard. “Sure, let’s go.”

Remus stood, grabbing his things and nodded to their friends before walking out of the Great Hall, Sirius right behind him. The hallways were fairly empty as they made their way to Gryffindor tower and Remus decided to show some of the bravery his house was known for.

“You got quite the Valentine haul this year.”

Sirius nudged his arm. “You didn’t do so badly yourself.”

“Yeah, but you never even looked at anything you got. Why is that?”

“It’s just the same thing every year, so why bother?”

Remus laughed softly. “Tired of all the attention the girls always shower you with?”

“Something like that.” Sirius mumbled.

“You know what’s funny though?” Remus asked. “You and I were just talking about Pablo Neruda last month and now today I get a love letter with some of his poetry in it. Funny, isn’t it?”

He turned his head slightly and saw Sirius’ eyes widen momentarily. “Yeah, wow, what a coincidence, huh?”

Remus nodded. “They say there’s very few real coincidences in life.”

“Well, this must be one of those! I mean, who knows how many people in Hogwarts are into Neruda’s sonnets, right?”

Remus stopped and grabbed Sirius’s arm. “Padfoot, you didn’t look at my letter and I never told you it was a sonnet.”

Sirius bit his lip, one eyebrow quirked. “Lucky guess?”

Remus let his arm go and sighed. “You sent me the letter, didn’t you?”

Sirius closed his eyes and ran his hands through his hair. “Remus, I’m sorry, I -”

Remus cut him off, hurt that the man he was in love with could have so little regard for his feelings. “Did you think it was a good joke?”

“Joke?” Sirius’ face twisted in confusion. “What are you talking about?”

Remus shook his head sadly. “Did you think I was so pathetic you had to send me a Valentine as a joke? Or was it an ego boost so I would think someone actually cared about me?”

Sirius grabbed Remus by the shoulders and met his sorrowful gaze. “Remus, I don’t know what you’re talking about, but that letter wasn’t a joke. Yeah, I-I wrote it. But it wasn’t a prank and it wasn’t an ego boost.”

Remus just stared at him, not willing to let himself believe what he so desperately wanted to be true. “I don’t understand.”

Sirius closed his eyes for a moment and took a deep breath, his fingers digging into Remus’ shoulders. “I wrote the letter because I couldn’t tell you how I felt otherwise. I didn’t want to ruin our friendship if you didn’t feel the same way, but I had to try. You can tell me to bugger off, you can tell me I’m a ridiculous twat, but I just…I knew you would figure it out with the poem. I needed to see if there was even the smallest chance -”

Remus cut him off again, this time by pressing his lips to Sirius’.

Sirius responded immediately, his mouth slanting over Remus’, one hand moving from his shoulder to tangle in his tawny curls.

The kiss was brief, but it was enough to make Remus’ head spin. He pulled back slightly, his forehead resting against Sirius’. “You are a ridiculous twat, Padfoot.”

Sirius huffed a laugh. “I am, aren’t I?”

Remus pressed his lips to Sirius’ once more and pulled back to smile into the dazed grey eyes. “Happy Valentine’s Day.”

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