notrhianna - Tumblr blog

notrhianna · 6 years

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lol i havent been here for like a year or so and reading these posts is making me sad

I’m at uni now, almost finished first year. Started writing a lot more poetry and plays and novels. I havent done any art recently.

Had a few hiccups here and there with self harm and stuff but it’s getting better.

I’ve done drugs. I’ve made lot’s of new, great friends.

I don’t talk to anyone that I’ve writen about on here anymore cos theyre all cunts.

I smoke more now and i am so far into my student overdraft but that’s ok it’s supported me and I will hbe better with money next year.

I am more confidengt but I still hate myself

I don’t eat as much as I used to and I can’t tell if that’s good or bad.

I get depressed still when I’m lonely.

I had really great flatmates and we were like a small family, but they’ve all moved out now and I’m on my own. Only three weeks to go. I love them a lot still.

My anxiety is still a massive factor in my life but I think i’m controlling it better,

Or maybe that’s why I’m not eating.

I’ve had lot’s of sex.

But then I was raped on my first day of being on my own at uni.

It was horrible.

I didn’t talk to

Anyone.

For ages.

I’m happier now but I still think about it.

And he gave me an STD.

Incurable, unfortunately.

A virus.

So now I can’t go on dates until it’s cleared up naturally.

Or I go to the doctors and get it sorted but that would be too painful.

And it will come back.

So what’s the point, honestly.

#txt

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notrhianna · 7 years

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I should probably keep this blog up????????? Anyway my exam is tomorrow and I have really bad anxiety goodnight

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notrhianna · 7 years

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I'm gonna cut myself and its my fault and its all my fault but I'm gonna do it I'm gonna fucking do it I'm gonna destroy myself because Ive destroyed my trust with him and Ive destroyed my love with him and ive ruined everything ive ruined it so why not ruin myself why not why not why not

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notrhianna · 7 years

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Kick me out

Fucking kick me out. Get rid of me. Dump me with my mom, its easier!!!! Your life will be easier!!!!!! You don’t need me ruining your fucking life!!!!!!! Kick Me Out!!!!!!!!

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notrhianna · 7 years

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I'm a liar

My skin is prickling with it. I feel sick. I'm a liar. I'm a liar I'm a liar I'm a liar I'm a liar I'm a liar I'm a liar I'm a liar I'm a liar I'm a liar I'm a liar I'm a liar I'm a liar

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notrhianna · 7 years

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4.11.17 - 13

hello to my one follower. New year new me. Ive lost a friend, my nans had a stroke and I want to die. But what’s new.

#4.11.17 #21:54

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notrhianna · 8 years

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17.11.16 - 12

I haven’t posted in a while but I am feeling so anxious I can’t even breathe. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.

#17.11.16 #7:10pm #anxiety

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notrhianna · 8 years

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#13.11.16 #11:32am

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notrhianna · 8 years

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09.11.16 - 11

Congrats to the USA for voting in someone who was endorsed by the KKK. :))))))))))

#random/#trump2016 #donald trump #09.11.16 #10:03am

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notrhianna · 8 years

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08.11.16 - 10

Had a good convo with my friend about all of this stuff going on. I feel better. Thank you Meg. I love you.

#personal/#08.11.16 #11:03pm

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notrhianna · 8 years

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08.11.16 - 9

I really need a friend to talk to. I'm seeing my best friend tomorrow after school so hopefully I will be able to make sense of some things with her because right now it's all up in my head and it's doing no one any good. They're still talking on the phone. I'm still jealous. My friend told me it's because I'm falling for him and I know it's true but I'm 100% in denial about it. Jealousy makes me angry and jealousy makes me sad and jealous makes me cry and I hate the feeling. I want it to leave me alone. I want it to stop.

#personal/#6:38pm #08.11.16

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notrhianna · 8 years

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08.11.16 - 8

I want him to be fucking jealous

#personal/#2:47pm #08.11.16

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notrhianna · 8 years

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do you ever just want to shout like… it’s because i’m sad! like yes i didn’t do my homework, yes i didn’t text you back, yes i’ve been hiding in my room! i’m sorry! but i haven’t killed myself so honestly where is my badge!

#me!!!#depression/#01:40pm

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notrhianna · 8 years

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