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novanitas · 3 years

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There are Other Ways to Fall in Love

https://archiveofourown.org/works/31806577

- Warnings: Zhongli is manipulative? suggestive content?

- The work was written with the mindset of a female reader but no pronouns were used so any reader may enjoy~

Falling in love was supposed to be love at first sight, and for you, it was. Falling in love was supposed to be magical, every moment filled with bliss. Falling in love was supposed to be finding that one person in your life and staying with them forever, no change in heart. Falling in love was that way for you. But were you really falling in love?

They say the devil hides in plain sight, where he is easily seen and the star of the show. They say the devil can be as sweet as honey to the right person or as cold and cunning as the winters of Snezhnaya. They say the devil draws people in and traps them with their dashing looks and silver tongue. They say love is a game. Your heart the pawn.

Falling out of love was never a thought to you. You never imagined that if you did find that one love at first sight that you would find yourself tired of your lover's presence and wondering what went astray. You heard in the whispers of the wind that falling out of love was like falling out of a tree, swift and painful, knocking the air out of your lungs, leaving you gasping for breath. For you falling out of love was that, but it was so much more. Falling out of love was painful in the way that the love in your partner's eyes turned to something darker. Falling out of love was breathless for you in the way that you were swept off your feet by someone completely unexpected.

Love is like that of a summer storm coming in unannounced and ripping everything you knew to pieces, everything you knew to be true apart, and that is precisely what Childe did to your heart.

Zhongli was elegant, classy, breathtaking, and one hell of a man to look at. His golden eyes caught yours the second he waltzed through the room, his long coat chasing behind him. Slender legs making his gait seem as if he were from another world. His cologne engulfed every room he stepped in as if it were taking claim to the area, taking claim to your heart—a casanova in disguise.

At first, when your relationship began with Zhongli, you were stunned. How could someone of such stature be interested in you? How could the man you fell head over heels from the second he walked in the room even glance your way?

The devil is cunning, and so was Zhongli. He knew too much of everything. He knew just what to say to make any person come undone. He appealed to all your senses, and you found him intoxicating. He was like a drug you can't get out of your vein.

He came in swiftly and stole your heart, but he took so much more.

You stole away the pride that you once had in yourself. He ripped away your dignity. Zhongli slowly took everything that was you away.

You didn't notice it at first, the way that after he came into your life that everything seemed to falter. Money seemed to dissipate into thin air. Time seemed to be consumed by him. Family and friend's faces seemed never to be around anymore. Life seemed to be closing in on you, or was it Zhongli's hands around your life choking everything else out.

"Y/N," his voice purred in your ear. You stood there, still as the heat of his breath lapped against your ear. "Let's go out. For,"

Zhongli seemed to pause as if testing the waters as if testing to see how far he could push you.

You bit your lip, not daring to lift your head to meet his gaze, to meet his flaming eyes.

"Lunch," he said, placing his hand on the small of your back.

Your heart raced at his touch, flames on his fingertips, fear in your veins.

You, in fact, did not want to go out for lunch because you had no mora, and Zhongli always made you pay for the meal. You, at times, have had to pay for meals and other expenses with questionable means.

Zhongli stepped forward and walked around you, dragging his hand along your body as he went. You shuddered as he stopped behind you, placing his head on your shoulder, his lips grazing your ear.

"You know you don't have a choice in the matter. Why don't you just say yes to me?" His voice was a low growl, an inhuman pitch to it.

"Of course, I'd love to go to lunch with you." The words stumbled out your mouth.

You were strong, but the Geo archon was stronger, eviler, a wicked sense about him.

"Good," Zhongli said, standing back up straight removing his hands from your body.

"Get changed. Your clothing is," he hummed to himself, "a little damaged."

A little damaged, you thought. They are more than damaged; they were charred, blackened to a crisp, barely clinging to your body as the flames ate at the threads and danced across your skin. The only thing saving you from burns adorning your body was the cryo vision you were graced with days before meeting Zhongli.

A Geo Archon using the ability of magma rocks was never a story told in Liyue folklore, but you assumed that most people that encountered it either died or were silenced by other means.

Falling in love meant staying in love even if you lost some of yourself in the process. You did love Zhongli, didn't you? Your mind would ponder over the thought often but never for too long in fear of the answer being something less than true love.

Going on dates to the Genshin Restaurant was a common occurrence for you and Zhongli. The thought of going there again made your blood run cold. But you loved Zhongli, or you thought you did, so you would go anyway. Maybe this is what love was? Perhaps love was giving yourself up for someone else. So you changed your clothes and stood proudly by his side and made your presence known to the people of Liyue once again.

Entering the restaurant, Zhongli's fingers trailed down your arm, leaving traces of golden dust on your skin, sparkling as the light hit it. You were timid, but you held your head high because this love at first had turned to be so much more. Ningguang waved a slight hand at you both as Zhongli elegantly weaved his way to the usual booth the two of you occupied. Ningguang, the owner, so graciously allowed "Zhongli" to "buy" the table permanently in exchange for something you'd rather never think of again. You shuddered at the thought, but your attention was snapped back to Zhongli as his searing hot hand pressed into your back, guiding you into the chair.

The two of you sat quietly, making idle conversation, waiting for the waiter to approach the table. Your heart froze as Ganyu sauntered over to Zhongli. In his eyes were flames, full of lust and want. You bit your tongue, holding back the feeling that you weren't good enough even after giving yourself over to him.

The devil finds in people their weaknesses, and he breaks in, destroying everything with the drop of a match.

"What will you be eating today, Mr. Zhongli?' Ganyu asked pen and paper in hand.

Zhongli looked at Ganyu head to toe and hummed.

"You," he said, pausing a little too long, "suggest something to me."

Ganyu's face flushed red "The um slow-cooked bamboo shoot soup is rather delightful. Only men with such a particular taste know how to appreciate it."

Zhongli looked at Ganyu, studying her before nodding his head.

"And for them?" Ganyu asked Zhongli, throwing you a glance.

Zhongli stirred in his seat, leaning forward placing his elbows on the table. He stared you in the eyes.

"Hmmm, what do you deserve?" He asked aloud.

"Water, and" he flipped his wrists, "whatever you're planning on throwing out."

Your face flushed pink, embarrassed once again by Zhongli's treatment of you.

He always treated you less than him, like you were a dog picked up off the streets, meant to eat table scraps and to be beaten.

You looked around, hoping that no one noticed, hoping that no one saw again how the amazing Geo Archon treated you.

How embarrassing was it to be treated like this by someone who was supposed to love you? But Zhongli did love you, just in other ways, right?

Childe stood off in the corner watching the scene he had witnessed too many times, and his heart ached and raged burned within him. He felt his water swords beginning to materialize in his hands, and he left. He tore out the restaurant and down the streets of Liyue, looking for something to take his anger out on. He soon found himself on the outskirts of Liyue, looking towards Mondstadt, a trail of blood behind him. Was the blood his, or was it the blood of the treasure hoarders and hilichurls, or was it both? Childe heaved in a deep breath and turned around, slowly walking back to Liyue, blood rolling off his hands.

"If that bastard." Childe started to say, war raging inside him. "If he touches Y/N again and I see him treat them like that again, I will not hold back anymore. I swear."

And a few days later, the time came where Childe did not hold back. You were seated in the usual booth of the Genshin Restaurant, eyes bloodshot and clothes charred at the edges. Zhongli was across from you, but his eyes were somewhere else, following the waitress around the tables.

"Excuse me," Childe could hear Zhongli say from the corner he placed himself in. His eyes trained on Zhongli watched as Zhongli stood up and waltzed over to the waitress and whispered something in her ear, his hand lingering on her hip before slowly falling away. Zhongli made his way to the bathrooms, the waitress not far behind.

Childe stood up from his seat and took the opportunity that presented itself to him. He strolled over to the table you sat at and grasped the chair before taking a seat across from you.

Your eyes shot up with surprise at the harbinger sitting in front of you.

You admitted to yourself at that moment that you had noticed Childe before, that you had stolen glimpses of him while Zhongli was infatuated with the waiting staff. You didn't fall for Childe instantly as you did with Zhongli, but your heart began to yearn for him whenever his presence was no longer in the restaurant or the streets you walked. You began to find comfort in knowing that his eyes seemed to find you in a crowd even though the two of you didn't know more than each other's names.

"I see you need some company, comrade," Childe said, a smile playing on his lips.

You smiled at him with a genuine smile, and Childe's eyes lit up.

You didn't know it, but in all these months that Childe has seen you, this was the first time he had seen a smile on your lips.

It was as if the atmosphere had lightened up as the sky did when a storm had passed.

"I would love no other company than yours." You said, truthfully. Silently you wished that Childe could save you from the devil's trap that you had so carelessly fallen into.

At fourteen, Childe fell into the abyss, and at (your age or 18+), you had fallen into the devil's snares.

"Well, you're in luck," Childe smirked. "I so happen to be free. Care for a meal?"

"I," you sighed, "have no mora. Zhongli, he-"

"I never said I would let you pay. When you're with me," Childe cheesily gestured to himself, "You will never pay anything. So order what you want, the most expensive dish. I'll buy it or this entire restaurant all for you."

"I just," your voice was small, "thank you. I'll have 'A Prize Catch' and an Apple Cider Vinegar then."

Childe sat there shocked, "You want 'A Prize Catch?'"

"If that's too much, then," you began.

"No, no. It's just that's my favorite dish, and I have never known anyone else to like it." Childe's eyes sparkled as he spoke.

Childe raised his hand above his head and waited for someone to notice. A waiter soon made his way over, and Childe placed the order, two servings of "A Prize Catch" and two Apple Cider Vinegars, one with light ice.

The two of you sat there in the quiet corner of Genshin Restaurant and ate the food as the conversation flowed between you.

Halfway through the meal, Zhongli finally made his appearance again, his hair slightly ruffled and his clothing half undone. His eyes turned to stone the second his eyes laid on Childe's silhouette.

"Y/N" Zhongli's voice shook the entire restaurant, an ice formed in your veins. Fear grasped your heart.

"Y/N, don't look at him, okay. Look at me." Childe said, his voice soft but strong, caring.

You lifted your eyes from the table and looked at Childe, his eyes a dark blue, determination swimming just beneath the surface.

"Don't answer him. I'll take care of this." Childe said, pushing himself up from the table.

"Childe," his name slipped from your lips.

"It's okay," Childe said, reassuring your beating heart.

And so it was okay because, in that short amount of time you spent with Childe, you realized that everything you knew about falling in love was wrong. You learned that there are other ways to fall in love and that love, at first sight, is just that, love of the eyes, not a love of the heart. You found that falling out of love was painful, but it is even more painful to stay in a relationship that wasn't there. You learned that the devil could be anyone and not just those that look the part.

In the end, Childe paid for your lunch that day, and he paid for it in the coming days after that. Childe crashed your date, but more importantly, he crashed into your heart.

Love is like that of a summer storm coming in unannounced, pouring water to the earth, and drowning out all the things that don't belong. Childe was the storm, you the earth, and Zhongli the thing that didn't belong.

#genshin impact #genshin #genshin x childe #genshin x zhongli #genshin x reader #genshin x y/n #childe x reader #childe x y/n #zhongli x reader #zhongli x y/n #childe #zhongli #genshin impact fatui #liyue #ganyu #ningguang #childe x you #zhongli x you #one beta reader that hates me so we die like i do in co-op

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novanitas · 3 years

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Love Goes

Writing from experience is always the hardest part about writing because you allow yourself to be vulnerable in a story that you have spun.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/31290827

Childe is the only Genshin character mentioned in the story.

The work was written with the mindset of a female reader but no pronouns were used so any reader may enjoy~

Warnings: I don’t know of any to tag >.< Loneliness? Minor Violence? Fluff? A Kiss???

And maybe sometimes love isn't meant to be. And perhaps sometimes it is better to love someone than to be loved yourself. And sometimes love comes and goes, and other times it just goes. Love is like a dam opening and closing as the water rises and falls in hopes of keeping everything in order, in hopes of homeostasis. If love was like a river, then yours must have run dry, the idea of a balanced ecosystem, something of the past. The summer months were approaching fast, and how would you make it through this long drought again?

Water, an essential component of life, something that everyone needs. Love, something you once equated to water, is now like that of exquisite jewelry, something only the rich in life has.

Maybe it was your personality that was unapproachable; perhaps you were too plain and boring; maybe it was the universe punishing you for being born. The maybe's and possibilities as to why you never found love piled up. Your brain found in its darkest crevices perfectly valid reasons as to why you were lonely. You were shy, too shy. Your voice was never loud enough for people to hear, even when you tried to speak. You spent so many years making yourself small and unnoticeable that now when you wish people would throw a glance your way, it never came. You were never pretty, or at least not in the eyes of those that caught your attention. You found yourself boring and without much of a personality, and you knew that others felt that way too. You never stepped out of your comfort zone because you never had anyone you felt comfortable enough to step out to. You had grown so accustomed to your ways that when someone started to take an interest in you, you'd push them away.

How is it to love and never be loved? It was lonely, to say the least—no one to share your feelings with and no one to share moments of happiness with. Your life was lonely, and you didn't know how to escape it.

How is it to be loved but be so oblivious to it? It was painful but only for the person loving you. To see their efforts dismissed because you were so used to being alone, so used to being unloved. To know the pain, you hide because you never had anyone to share it with. To see you suffering alone even though he was right there. To have a ruthless harbinger admire you was one thing, but to have one be troubled by the way you dismiss any kindness towards you was another.

"(Y/N), why won't you look at me?" The boy pleaded.

Why would you look at him? You asked yourself. Just another person passing through your life for what, a day this time, or a week, a month, maybe a year, but not long enough for you to trust your heart with again. Too many people passing through, too little pieces of your heart left to give—too many years of being left alone to know how to let someone else in.

You turned further away, walking down the busy streets of Liyue. The trees rustling in the wind reminding you that summer was approaching once again. Maybe if you ignore him, he'll go away. Perhaps you have finally lost all sanity, and the man speaking to you is nothing but a vivid hallucination built to keep the loneliness at bay.

A hand clasps around your arm, and you knew they were real. You knew good and well that you ignored the one guy you have had your eyes on since the second they walked into town, but why are you dismissing him now?

Loneliness is like a black hole sucking you in until you can't escape.

"Listen, (Y/N), I see the way you steal glances at me when I walk down the street. Why can't you look at me now?" His voice was torn, unsure of what to do because someone dared to ignore him with such a somber look plastered on their face.

"Because," your voice faltered as you stopped walking. "Because, nothing." You decided not to answer, why give your heart to a harbinger of all people. Yeah, give your heart to someone who literally takes people's hearts for a living, you thought.

"You can tell me. I'll listen," Childe said as he pulled your hand and your unwilling body over to a quiet table just above the noise of the streets.

You admit you didn't want to be unwilling; you just didn't know anymore how to be open to others.

Pulling a chair out for you, Childe then sat down across from you and placed his head contently in the cup of his hand, ready to listen to every word that fell from your lips. He was not expecting you to sit there at the table and quietly cry as he watched frantically racking his mind on what to do. At first, he thought it would be best to sit patiently and wait until you stopped crying, but as time stretched on, he became more and more distressed. After long antagonizing moments of contemplation, Childe rose from his chair and sat closer to you, offering a shoulder to cry on as he wrapped his strong arm around you. You found yourself leaning into his embrace and cherishing his presence. Noticing this, you soon composed yourself and thanked Childe for his time before begrudgingly leaving his company, in which you so desperately wanted to stay.

You told yourself in the first steps you took heading away from him not to go back and find yourself in his warm embrace again because it felt so intoxicating there that you wanted to stay forever, you wanted to give him your whole heart when there was only so little left to give. You told yourself to make yourself even smaller and to grow colder, so he stays away, but a heart born in Snezhnaya is already so used to the cold.

In the days following that, you and your strong will only left the confines of your home when absolutely necessary. If by chance you did venture out into Liyue, you made sure it was by the dark of night, and you kept your head down, eyes cast barely above your shoes, only making eye contact with shopkeepers to pay the dues. The streets of Liyue at night were always a sight that brought your gaze from the ground to the world around you, but in an attempt to avoid the sharp blue eyes of that reckless harbinger, you left behind a sight you adored.

Soon those days turned to weeks, and a habit had formed, and the pattern of your life shifted. You began to become familiar with Liyue's nighttime scene, and you began to prefer it as the crowds of people dwindled down, and the soul piercing eyes of Childe never found you. To be honest, you missed his gaze and the cocky way he walked the streets with confidence, but to protect yourself, you thought to stay away. And sometimes, when you protect yourself, you end up hurting or getting hurt more.

Childe was worried at your absence from the quaint streets of Liyue. He, instead of going about his official business at the Northland Bank, began waiting at shops he'd seen you visit daily in hopes to see you, in hopes to coax your heart out of its shell, in hopes to help you carry the pain. In heartbreaking instances, Childe would think to see a glimpse of you from the corner of his eye, and his heart would race at the thought of seeing you just once again, only to be crushed by the image of someone else reflecting into his eyes. He wanted to curse those people, but more than anything, he wanted to curse his heart for jumping at the thought of you.

Childe, having scoured the streets for weeks, began to worry if you had fallen ill or had left for good, and his head was shrouded in turmoil. Lonely nights in his bed turned to lonely nights in his house, his thoughts echoing off the wall, pacing around in their own cage. He only knew of violence, but yet he could not stop thinking of how he held you so fragile when you cried, so violence he turned to. He tore out his house into the streets of Liyue to interrogate and rough up anyone he could in hopes of finding you. Knuckles tight, he grabbed civilian's shirts and demanded had they seen (Y/N). Most of them were too terrified even to give a proper answer, which fueled his growing rage even more. Some civilians got off lucky as their shirts slipped from his grasps, while others were less fortunate than that. Dawn was slowly approaching as a yellow hue graced the horizon while Childe's bloody knuckles dangled by his side.

"Love comes and goes," he mumbled under his breath, "but why can't I let this one go?"

Not even hours passed before the word had spread through all of Liyue that a crazy ginger-haired harbinger tore through half of Liyue looking for you, leaving a trail of half battered bodies in his wake. You thought that in any other instance in your life, you would be scared by that news, but you weren't. Maybe, you thought, if someone was willing to go to such lengths to find you that perhaps this time, love wouldn't go. Perhaps this time, rain will come in the form of Childe, and the drought in your heart will be quenched. But some walls are built to last, and the wall barring your heart would not be an easy one to break. Strength, perseverance, patience, and a fierce tenderness could all hold the key to the breaking of the wall.

So the next night when you strolled the streets of Liyue you did not dare walk with your head down as before, you let your eyes flutter over the docks, hoping once more for a glimpse of Childe, of the harbinger with a delusion, of the man who's touch you could not erase from your memory. His embrace from weeks ago still imprinted on your skin. The stall owners began giving you sideways glances as you passed, and whispers of you and the harbinger of death filled the air. You wanted to hide away from their eyes, but you knew somewhere deep down that the only way you could find love was to give your heart away again, and so you walked with the purpose to find him. You felt exposed, all eyes staring at you, and in moments your heart lurched to a stop when a shadow in the dark had the same form as him. Disappointment was always soon to follow as a Millelith or drunkard emerged in his place. Perhaps you thought, as your mind wandered deeper into the darkness as the night stretched on, maybe, after all, Childe gave up on you. Maybe last night, he was giving up on you as his fist met the faces of others. Perhaps he found you impossible and unlovable after your shying away and weeks of not seeing you.

In an instant, dawn was upon you, and your feet were planted in front of the Northland Bank. This wasn't how the story was supposed to go. Childe was never supposed to approach you and ask why you wouldn't look at him. Childe was never supposed to be kind and to take you to a quiet spot to talk. You were never supposed to cry because you were touched by that act of caring. You were never supposed to shed a tear in front of him. He was never supposed to want to listen so intently to what you would have said. Childe was never supposed to hold you in his arms so carefully as if his touch might break you. You opened the doors to the Northland Bank and asked for Childe so you could tell him what you would have said that day at the table above the streets. The employees raised an eyebrow, knowing no one ever asks for Childe, but before they could escort you to his office, he emerged from behind them.

"(Y/N)" his voice was hoarse, and his eyes seemed much darker than before.

"I want to tell you what I didn't say before." The words escaped your lips at the volume of a whisper.

Taking your hand, Childe leads you through Liyue to a quiet tea shop.

"I was worried about you." Childe blurted as you both sat down with your teas.

"I know. I'm sorry." You said, a slight flush rising in your cheeks.

"If you knew then, why?" Childe asked, concerned.

"Because, Childe." You took a breath of the warm Liyue air. "I have gotten stuck in my ways. I have been alone for so long that I don't know how to accept your love or anyone's love. I don't know how to accept company when I have been so used to no one by my side. I am unsure if my heart can handle someone else walking out with a piece of it and never coming back. I have done things on my own for so long I-"

"And we can learn together," Childe said, reaching his gloved hand out to yours.

"But," you wanted to protest.

"But nothing." Childe insisted. "Love comes and goes, but I don't want to let you go. Love is hard, and learning to love is hard, but we can learn to love together."

"If I ask you if you love me 100 times a day, then would you still want to be with me? If I doubted you and ran away from your kindness, would you find that desirable?" You asked, looking deeply into his eyes, hoping Childe knew what he was asking for in wanting a relationship with you.

"It is easier for me to tell you 100 times a day that I love you than to stand by idly and watch you suffer on your own. If you didn't doubt my kindness, then I would not be living up to my name as a harbinger then would I?" Childe laughed lightly, trying to dissipate the thickness of the air. "And besides, prey is not as fun to catch if they don't run." Childe winked charmingly.

You smiled and punched his arm, to which he recoiled from.

"Be serious." You whined.

Childe's eyes grew a shade darker, and his face dawned a saddened expression.

"(Y/N) have you ever seen someone you love suffer and not be able to do anything? Well, in case you haven't, it is painful, more painful than watching someone die. Seeing you suffer from being alone and your self-doubt is harder for me than anything because it is not like a wound I can patch up. So please let me in, let me share your pain. Tell me your secrets and all your favorite memories. Let me be the kind of person that you have always wanted. Let me help you. I want us to grow as people together." Childe's eyes searched yours, praying the words he said reached your heart.

You sat there stunned at his words and decided that this was the time, now to step out of your comfort zone and to give your heart away, knowing that this time it won't go to waste.

And at that moment, the first rain of summer came, and the drought your heart had been in for so long had been washed away. Childe, a fatui harbinger, a killer, had a heart for you, and happiness bubbled in your chest.

As the rain fell harder, you and Childe stood from the chairs. Before you could run to shelter, he grabbed you by the waist and kissed your lips softly, pulling you into his strong embrace. Hair plastered to his face; he smiled at you as he rested his chin atop your head.

Love was like fine jewelry, and you were finally rich enough in life.