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omfgnoah · 10 years

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As they stood there, Noah honestly just wanted to cry, she was there right next to him. The memories flashed through his mind of them running down these cabins chasing each other, and just having the time of their life being around each other. The memories soon turn black, while the ink to the words 'I love you' stay stained in the boy's mind. For some reason his feelings for her didn't fade but it grew. Grew on trying to fix the things between them, though the boy's heart was ready to dive into hers. When Johanna spoke he just cleared his throat, what was he supposed to say? Noah had said everything he had to say to her but from the looks of it, she still couldn't understand why. Making his way toward the sofa, he sat down, gliding his fingers through the strands of his light brown hair in fustration. Instead of saying anything he just wanted to hold her close and never let go. "We can make it happen. I really want to spend the rest of my life with you and have little Noah's and Johanna's running around the house. I can't imagine my future with anyone else." A small smile appeared on his lips as she spoke about their future plans. The the smile began to fade as he examined her, Johanna was upset once again. Infuriating. Was he really that bad? "How many times do I have to say I'm sorry? I already feel like shit." He snapped, putting thought into his choice of words before speaking again. "Just..." Noah took a deep sigh, pain in his throat as he opened his mouth once more. "What do I need to do? Nothing seems to be working, honestly. I'm trying, I really am. You love me, I love you. And we're just sitting here going through this cycle." He mumbled, crossing his arms over his chest.

"It’s not that easy." She admitted, once again biting her lower lip. There was nothing in the world Johanna wanted more than to get back with him and forget the whole incident had ever happened to begin with, but just like she had said, it was not that easy. The girl had trust issues way before she even dated him and when he cheated on her all her issues had intensified. "I’m not saying I don’t believe you, because I do. I just need to, uh, process some stuff. I never really expected you’d come back to me." Johanna was sincerely surprised he had opened up to her like that. She had been preparing herself for camp all year hoping she could just forget about the whole ordeal, but now, as she stood in front of the man she was terribly and madly in love with, all the feelings she had kept bottled up came rushing to her. "Goddamn it, I love you." She admitted, feeling a weight lift off her chest. Perhaps it was cocaine that was encouraging her to speak so freely, but every word she’d said just then was exactly what she felt. "You know, this is hard for me. I don’t really like to talk about feelings and mushy bullshit, but somehow you bring that out in me. When I was growing up, I wasn’t the type of girl to wish for a happy family in a big house and all that bullshit little girls tend to come up with. All I wanted was a small apartment by myself and maybe my best friend, but you, you came around and now I’m suddenly picturing a life filled with joy alongside our kids." Johanna’s eyes widened at her declaration and she sudddenly felt a little embarrased, but the brunette was quite tired of keeping everything inside so she just kept on going. "How do you do that?" She rhethorically asked. "How do you just come into my life and spark up those feelings and just decide to ruin it all?" In the particular moment, she felt quite angry. Angry that he had ruined all the plans and hopes she had for the future with a one night stand. "You’re so infuriating."

#Para: JoJo

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omfgnoah · 10 years

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Noah had honestly never felt this way towards someone, but knowing she was hurt from what happen over a year ago made his heart drop. The rush of guilt and hatred towards himself, he was hoping it wasn’t going to hit so soon because he wanted to be as sane as possible when having such a serious discussion with the love of his life. Noah was on the cliff of love and was falling right off of it for Johanna. Looking into her eyes, he saw nothing but pain behind them, words that the girl has hidden for the longest time. Noah was hoping he could be the one to unravel it and fix everything, just pick up every broken piece of her and place it back with the strong love he had just waiting to mend with hers for him. “I-I'm sorry. I was stupid, I don't want you hurting anymore. Everything we had, I want it back. I know it'll be awhile for me to gain your trust, but I'll wait.” He spoke gently, not wanting to break anything else on her. Noah’s mind was everywhere. He approached her and took her hand, trying to stop himself from shaking. “I love you.” He whispered. "I want you to believe me, and I know you might struggle with accepting everything but I want you. I want you to feel what I’m telling you, not to believe that I feel like it,” he explained. “And I’m not going to stop until you feel like a princess, a queen, or whatever you want to be and I’ll be here to remind you everyday of just how beautiful you are, inside and outside. I want you to be mine. I want it to be back to the way it was." he confessed, his voice shaky. Speaking to her came so easily to him, like there was nothing he would doubt. Every single word that escaped his mouth was certain and truthful, because he wasn’t speaking from his mouth but from his heart. "I won't hurt you ever again." he admitted, the words explaining everything he was feeling, every bit of his heart poured out to her. "I won’t let you go."

"Really? India’s room looks just like it," she said with a shrug. "Yeah." The petite female responded softly, directing her gaze anywhere other than his eyes. "Confused about everything,’ she swallowed, while twirling several strands of her long dark hair nervously. "I’m trying, I really am, but you hurt me before and I don’t know if I could handle another heartbreak," Johanna admitted, her chocolate brown eyes finally falling on his. "I don’t know if I can trust you." Her mind was telling her one thing, but her heart was screaming another. "I love you." Jojo looked at him and then back at the floor and began pacing, her heart caught in her throat as she did— that was absolutely not what she’d expected to say, but in the moment she’d open her mouth, no other words felt as right. Then, just as soon as the nice feeling of warmth had come over her body, her mind welcomed an unhappy thought to her brain. Jealousy didn’t even begin to describe what Johanna felt. Jealousy was an insane, erratic, nonsensical feeling. Every feeling she felt just then, despite her not wanting to feel them, made perfect sense. "Why did you have to do that to us?" She asked, her blood boiling as she uttered every word.

#para: jojo

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omfgnoah · 10 years

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When the door opened, Noah smiled brightly, and entered her cabin. The brown eyed male closed the door behind him and looked around, analyzing her room. “You’ve got the best room.” He tried to lighten the mood, looking where Johanna's eyes were trailing off to, it was the Coke. Noah swallowed a knot that was forming in his throat when he spotted white powder lined up perfectly on the table. "Oh, yeah?" He locked his eyes up back to hers, trying not to make his reaction obvious. Stuffing his hands in his pants pockets as he took small steps toward her before their bodies were a few inches apart. "What are you confused about, exactly?" Noah spoke in a low tone, looking deep into her eyes. The boy was definitely love struck, but he didn’t want to show it this early into everything. The mood between them slightly changed into a darker one and he could practically feel how Johanna was feeling because of what he had said earlier on Twitter.

Johanna’s hands were shaking with anticipation as she continued to finely cut her Coke. Coke, or Snow White, was her drug of choice lately, everything else was nice, but nothing tasted as sweet as the numbness she got from Snow White. Jojo wasn’t usually such a druggie, but in the past few days she had needed them to get through the day. It took the edge off, and distracted her from thinking about Noah. “I already told you not to call me that,” she yelled out, making her way over to the door and swiftly opening it. “Well, come in.” She said icily as she made her best attempts at ignoring the uncomfortable mess of nerves in the pit of her stomach that were deemed butterflies. “I’ve been thinking a lot about what you told me earlier, Noah.” She begun, looking down at the beautifully white lines of Snow White just waiting for her. “I’m still fucking confused, man.” She let out through gritted teeth and bit down hard on her lip.

#no no bae it was good #and go to sleep #para: jojo

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omfgnoah · 10 years

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Noah had spent the last two days either talk with Johanna, or just thinking about her. It was a little off for him t still have a thing after everything, but the fact that the girl probably felt the same relived him for a few moments before constantly thinking she would leave him with his hopes up. The male was wearing a black sweatshirt with real dark holister sweatpants, sagging low like usual. He flung on a pair of supras and left to Johanna’s cabin for the very first time. Waving to the people he walked passed, Noah wasn’t sure what was going to happen when he got to see her this time, alone. Just him and her. Moments later, he arrived at her door, knocking lightly “Hey, Mojo Jojo, it’s me.” He announced through the door. Backing up a few steps he waited for the brunette to open the door, he was generally happy at this moment. Even just waiting for her to open the door made him happy.

#para: jojo

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omfgnoah · 10 years

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#nk

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omfgnoah · 10 years

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I'm trying to change, so maybe just maybe, we don't have to go through this cycle. I didn't mean to hurt you, I was just too dumb to realize what I had in front of me. If it helps, I'm sorry.

Oh please, do start. Because after most likely deleting my number from your contacts I’d love to hear what you could possibly have to say right now.

#you know you wanna share that

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omfgnoah · 10 years

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You're acting like it was a bad relationship.

Yes it was, don’t even remind me.

#same girl #same

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omfgnoah · 10 years

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It wasn't that long ago.

I was young and dumb.

#im laughinh

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omfgnoah · 10 years

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And you are? Don't get me started.

Things change, people change. For all I know the tree could want to get up and walk away if you tried talking to it. Although I highly doubt that you’re very skilled when it comes to actually trying to reach out and talk to people.