our-perfectkoalacollector-t-blog

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Person #3: Ryan Barefoot

You were the first boy I really felt anything for when I moved to Florida. You were also my best friends older brother. 

I never had a boyfriend before, and being in this limbo where we both knew we liked each other... it drove me off the wall. I didn't know how to act anymore, what to say, what to do. All I knew was that I liked you and enjoyed talking to you and did not know what to do with that. 

I remember going on  double date... you & me, Kim [your sis, my best friend] & her boyfriend at the time, Forest Wildfong. We went to see some movie with Morgan Freeman trying to be president but I could not pay attention to the movie at all. All I could think about was that you were next to me and probably wanted to hold my hand or put your arm around me and it made me nervous as hell... I was so nervous that I had made sure that I was slouched down in a very uncomfortable/weird way that there was no way anything could happen.

I remember throwing a sleepover and you guys were invited, along with other friends including  Maria. It was the first time Kim and Maria kissed another girl, and it was also the first time I was asked to perform a kiss. We were playing truth or dare and I was asked to kiss you.... and I wouldn’t. (I really wish you were my first kiss... in replacement of the person who it was...)

I also remember that wretched day that you came over with Destiny Freeman and we were all supposed to go see a movie together, but before we left, you had asked me if I would be your girlfriend... and I said “no”. I regretted that word for a long time because I didn’t mean it. I was so young and just didn’t know how to be anyones girlfriend... at the time I thought I was doing you a favor by letting you go. 

...But if I had said yes... I feel like that would’ve changed the outcome of what would happen to me a year or two after... maybe it wouldn’t have happened...

#honesty #kim talks #first kiss #couldawouldashoulda #regret

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4th row from the bottom, third person over... that was him. 3rd row from the bottom, seventh person over... that was me. The orange scratched off person was mutilated due to low self-esteem. (Apart of me likes to think he was looking at me in this picture.)

David Orlando Tapia. I like to believe this 5th grade affair was my first romantic encounter. I have known David since kindergarten, he was in my class and I always liked to make sure I knew everyone in my classes. It wasn’t until I was forced to switch seats from where I was and the world placed me right next to him for the rest of the year. (I was talking too much with my current crush at the time Vishal Vidal... which is the person who taught me that cursing out loud was okay, and my teacher had enough and made me change where my seat was. 4th row, 7th person)

This was the first time I ever felt “in love”. Or, at least, the closest a 9/10 year old can feel. We spent 5th grade giggling at everything possible, copying each others school work, and just basically being best friends. Don’t get me wrong, i wasn’t alone this time... I had a lot of people I considered close (Stella, Erica, Ranishma, Larissa, etc.) but with David... everything felt so natural. 

He even half walked me home once... we were goofing off all the way until we got to the crossing guard and we went our separate ways.

I remember being accused of liking him so I lied and said I had liked someone else (some random boy who was in choir with me). I also remember our graduation trip to Jillians. On the bus there I sat next to my best friend at the time, Erica, but David being close by in an aisle seat.... constantly looking back at me as I listened to my Avril Lavigne CD. (I also remember beating him at air hockey! One of my proudest moments \m/ )

One of the biggest moments between David and I was the last day of 5th grade... I was walking home with all my close friends at the time and everyone knew how I felt about David... and they all saw him walking a few blocks behind us and they told me, “If there were any chance you had, this is it.” So I yelled after him to FINALLY tell him how I felt... and he ran away from me. 

I looked for him everywhere after that. Maybe he was in the supermarket, maybe the library, maybe he ended up attending the same middle school after all... nothing. And then I moved away to Florida (I use to live in New York). 

Even after I had moved states away. I still thought about my David. It took a really long time to just let go and move on. We reconnected through social media, and I even got to spend a whole day with him while on vacation to New York a couple years ago and I still consider us to be the greatest of friends. He even told me that he wished he didn’t runaway that day that he did... he was just scared.

I know now that it wasn’t love that I was feeling, but infatuation and I still consider him to be one of my greatest friends to this very day. 

#5th grade #david tapia #elementary crush #honesty #kim talks

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Person #1: Amore

I remember you. Even through my adult life I still remember you. You were the first boy to ever be infatuated with me... in kindergarten. You were the nicest person to me in that class. I had gotten along with many students but no one wanted to be my friend because I was one year younger than everyone else. I remember being forced to sit next to you during one class trip and that was it. You took one look at me and for the rest of the year, I was yours. You saved me a seat during every class discussion, you always played with me during recess, and when it was time to line up in class order (separated from girls and boys) you always made sure you were the one next to me to get to hold my hand.

I wish I knew you after I grew up... so I could apologize for how I reacted to the way you were with me. You were so invested in me that other classmates noticed and made fun of me for having a “boyfriend”. I was SO embarrassed that I was the meanest person to you. No matter how nice you were, I was cruel and said the meanest things that my head could think of. To this day, I cannot remember what exactly I had said to you... but I do remember cooking up the most hurtful things to convey and planning on telling them to you. I remember whispering them into your ear as if it were a secret and seeing it do its damage. 

All because I was embarrassed. 

#kindergarten #memories #im sorry #romanticism #honesty #kim talks

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I romanticize on too many people in my life and I need an outlet. This blog is to send a letter or to just tell a story of all the important people in my life.