“Each seven-year period on our journey of life finds us changing in our desires, appetites, facial expressions, moods, opinions of others, and even our bodily functions.”
extracting the stone of madness, alejandra pizarnik / the carpal tunnel of love, fall out boy / the beer, kimya dawson / rip 2 my youth, the neighbourhood / dialogue between an ai and a poet, @demasc / birds hover the trampled fields, richard siken / questions for ada, ijeoma umebinyuo / flowers on the grave, the maine / portrait of fryderyk in shifting light by richard siken
[id: 1: “All I want is silence, for myself and for the selves I used to be” 2: “Got postcards from my former selves saying, “How you been?"” 3: “First I cried for him, then I cried for me / Haunted by the ghost of the girl I used to be” 4: “R.I.P. to my youth / And you could call this the funeral” 5: “me, you, anyone, me again. nobody is the same person they were five seconds ago / that sounds painful / people kill their old selves all the time. sometimes the old ones are mourned, but there’s no funeral” 6: “Take a body, dump it, drive. Take a body, maybe your own, and dump it gently. All your dead, unfinished shelves and dump them gently” 7: “Mother, / I have pasts inside me / I did not bury properly.” 8: “And flowers on the grave / Of the child that I used to be” 9: “How much can you change and get away with it, before you turn into someone else, before its some kind of murder?” /end id]
I cried tonight. After a long day at work i cried on my bed at the apartment. I hate it whenever my brother would say that im lying. I know it ‘s the same old shit so i should no longer be surprised. But it hurts cause i’d always admit to my mistakes. I know he does this because i’m nothing and i’ve got nothing. I should probably just understand him. Maybe he’s just tired of supporting me haha All these things that i have i owe it to him. I’m so sorry for being a parasite.
Maybe i’ll die alone but hopefully i would be able to pay you first of my debts.