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Ugh, was having a great time mocking my recently imprisoned rival when I noticed the camera positioning makes it so that I appear behind the bars, thus framing me as trapped in a metaphorical prison of the narrative, now my whole day is ruined. Fuck.

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one man's hyperfixation is another man's blocked tag

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literally feels like a myth that there are people who don't struggle with basic tasks like getting out of bed or going to the shops or seeing a friend for coffee. how does everything not feel like a painstaking chore for them. how do they have the physical and emotional energy every single day

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Can you please elaborate on the Stephen Colbert RPF thing. This is a judgment free zone I’m just deathly curious

Ah yes well you see Stephen Colbert used to play a parody of a Fox News pundit on a show called The Colbert Report (American news satire program popular in the late 00s/early 10s). The character was explicitly a closeted gay man who was driven to conservatism due to his own insecurity/internalized homophobia. He had a homoerotic relationship with Jon Stewart whom he pretended to hate but had several romantic moments with.

When their shows ended they wrote a soft epilogue for their fictionalized selves where they retire to a cabin in the woods together and it’s implied they’re married now. The most beautiful self-written rpf of all time.

It was a beautiful slow burn self-written rpf that unfolded over, like, 10 years they worked together? It started as a joke but ended up being a genuine canon part of the fictionalized Stephen Colbert? I’m not joking.

#hello????

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This is really all you need to know about Game Changer ever. If anyone ever asks what it’s about just show them this

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naps hit different when ur using them to avoid being alive

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okay everyone reblog and tell me your favorite perfume. but if your favorite is glossier you… don’t bother

#penhaligon’s constantinople #casamorati lira #goldfiend and banks ingenious ginger

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its like you dont even want to sell your life to a corporation

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do you ever sit there in your bed with your head in your hands and it's like you can just imagine 9 swords behind you

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“you’re so quiet” bro it's literally so loud in my brain.

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most important thing to remember about being a woman is if youre married you have to go under the covers with your husband and laugh cutely and play wrestle so when you die to progress the narrative he can remember it in slow motion montages

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Love how tumblr has its own folk stories. Yeah the God of Arepo we’ve all heard the story and we all still cry about it. Yeah that one about the woman locked up for centuries finally getting free. That one about the witch who would marry anyone who could get her house key from her cat and it’s revealed she IS the cat after the narrator befriends the cat.

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my favourite thing is characters who just met the person theyre literally going to be wildly in love with for the rest of their lives and theyre like “:/ they’re not all that” this is so embarrassing for u

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I’m glad Sam Reich decided to use his powers to create game shows because in another universe I’m sure he’s a supervillain

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"SURVIVING"

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hazmat is short for hazardous matthew