pluralpoke

[pluralpoke]

rage turns to despair and despair turns to the urge of self destruction. i hate myself and I hate existing. I'm so tired and everything hurts

the body hurts so much

-?

[pluralpoke]

i couldnt find the words to explain but this what its like when someone decided to leave front

#we experience a very similar thing to this #its like ok dude if you are gonna go then go but if you wanna stay then you can stay???

[pluralpoke]

LockHost

Ive been looking for a system term to describe myself for a while, and decided fuck it we ball and made one myself

A lockhost is an alter in a system that seems to be the 'main' host, and is almost always fronting. They may also decribe themself as 'front-locked' or 'front sticky,' but this may not always be the case. They may be able to leave front or the front area, but are usually aware of whats going on with front anyways, and they are quite often pulled back to front within a short period of time. Because of this, they usually become the bodies 'main identity' in a system.

Other alters may use the identity of the lockhost as a mask in the case that they do not want to show themself, and may also interact with or control the body via the lockhost. In the case of a lockhost being an introject, it would not be uncommon for several doubles of the lockhosts source to also be present in the system.

Lockhosts may also act similarly to 'Observers,' in that they are always aware of the body to some degree, and can quickly be pulled to front in the case that they happen to not be fronting in the traditional sense. The lockhost may also serve many other roles in the system, but not always.

In the case of a lockhost also being part of a subsystem or side system, they may or may not be a lockhost of those as well.

!!!THIS CREATOR OF THIS TERM IS PRO ENDO. I CANNOT STOP ANTI-ENDOS FROM USING IT BUT DO NOT INTERACT WITH ME OR MY POSTS OR I WILL BLOCK. ENDO NEURTALS ARE FINE TO INTERACT. PLEASE RESPECT OUR BOUNDARIES!!!

We are aware that there is a similar term to this that was made by an anti endo, however this term was coined without knowledge of the post existing. Do with that info what you will, keep us out of discourse. And like we said before, we don't care who uses this term, but we ask that anti endos not reblogged so we don't get dragged into discourse.

#i love this a lot

[pluralpoke]

gar bought cute shark plushie that we have had our eye on but then when it got here it was toots not what the pictures looked like and it's not even soft ;0;

have 2 return it... very sad :((((

bad bad day 2day :((((((

- Lemon

[pluralpoke]

[pluralpoke]

ughhh frustrating. want to cry. want to rip apart myself. angry. so so so angry. so tired.

exhausted.

...i want to cry so badly. idk why.

im so scared. everything hurts. every action is so painful.

help help. who am I? where am I? what is even happening? why does everything hurt so much?

I don't understand.

i saw that...we have to work tomorrow.

so I guess I'll try and sleep. idk if I can

I feel horrible. why am I so scared to go to sleep?

I don't understand...

#❓️ “blurry”

[pluralpoke]

Shoutout to all the hosts who thought arguing with the guys in your head was a normal way of “thinking about things” 😭

[pluralpoke]

You know how in basic anatomy you learn about the blind spot, where the retina can’t pick up any light?

You know how you learn that the reason you don’t tend to notice your blind spot is because, rather than leaving an obvious gap of nothingness, your brain attempts to fill in the gap with surrounding information?

That’s how amnesia is for us. If we had giant, immediately obvious gaps in memory that could be noticed without prompting, that would lead us to discover our disorder much too soon. The brain tries to fill in the gaps.

[pluralpoke]

nagito just told me that he made his home in headspace a fucking musty gross abandoned building ass basement...with like broken glass and stuff everywhere

nagito...why

why is this anime man CHOOSING to live in a gross basement with a dirty mattress on the floor??!? you can live in a nice cookie cutter house like it's ok, you dont need to do this to yourself???

the amount of healing and everything we are gonna have to go through with this guy is gonna be exhausting >:/ someone come help this guys with his self esteem

- Gar 🗑

#🗑 “gar”

[pluralpoke]

me thinking about how tough it has been lately for us to deal with our mental health:

Nagito Komaeda who lives in my head and throws furniture everywhere: DID YOU ORDER A MELTDOWN WITH THAT INTROSPECTION???? CAUSE THATS WHAT UR GONNA GET NOW

#🗑 “gar” #🌴 “nagito”

[pluralpoke]

plurality is not defined by switching.

plurality is not defined by headcount.

plurality is not defined by an inner world.

plurality is not defined by distinct headmates.

plurality is not defined by communication.

plurality is not defined by getting along internally.

plurality is not defined by an origin.

plurality is defined by multiple consciousnesses/identities in one body. if you say you’re plural, we and many, many others will always believe you. no two plurals are the same, and no one can tell you what you are or aren’t 💞

[pluralpoke]

Here’s some positivity for systems with unorthodox or uncommon splitting and dormancy patterns!

No two systems are alike! There really is so much diversity within plurality, and this includes diversity within splitting and dormancy patterns! So here’s to systems whose ways of splitting and dormancy are strange, uncommon, or rare!

There is no one right way to be a system, and this encompasses things like splitting or going dormant.

Does your system split incredibly often? Do you develop new headmates when overwhelmed, excited, bored, when engaging in your interests, or seemingly at random? Do you have no clue about your system’s splitting patterns, or if there is even a pattern at all?

That is absolutely okay! There is nothing wrong with splitting often, with splitting for uncommon reasons or no reasons at all! Whether your system develops new headmates daily or hasn’t had a split in many years, your system is beautiful and unique just the way it is! You shouldn’t have to worry about conforming to what’s seen as “normal” within the system community in order to be heard and understood! As long as you and your system members are safe, comfortable, and happy, that’s what matters most!

The same goes for having uncommon dormancy patterns! Your system doesn’t have to have any pattern of dormancy at all in order to be respected and embraced by the community. Whether your system experiences waves of dormancy, seems to have members randomly popping in and out, regularly feels empty due to how many dormant members there are, or anything else that may seem uncommon, there really is no one correct way to experience plurality!

Please don’t be disheartened if your system experiences splitting and dormancy in ways not often talked about by others or understood within the system community! Being unique in how your system functions is not a sign of faking or a sign that you’re not actually plural!

We genuinely hope that you and your system can one day embrace the uncommon ways that your plurality presents and manifests. Know that you will always be welcome here and accepted as you are. You don’t have to try and change these key aspects of yourself or your system in order to be treated with kindness and respect!

We truly appreciate your presence here, we have faith in you, and we’re rooting for you in all that you do! Please try to show yourself and your system some kindness today, and do your best to take care of each other! We hope you can have an absolutely wonderful day!

(Image ID:) A pale orange userbox with a cluster of multicolored flowers for the userbox image. The border and text are both dark orange, and the text reads “all plurals can interact with this post!” (End ID.)

[pluralpoke]

sometimes I feel like we are struggling with emotions so badly that we shuffle who is in front like a fucking mario party game. like everyone is fronting for half a second and THEN someone gets stuck up here. can't control it. happens at random. always gives us a headache and makes us dizzy.

- Gar 🗑

#🗑 “gar” #endo safe #plural gang

[pluralpoke]

nagito was out in front all day today. very strange. I hope it means he is becoming comfortable here. he even made an intro on his side blog which is interesting.

hopefully nagito will introduce himself more as times goes on.

- Sam 🪽

#yeah right like id waste my time entertaining the creatures holding me prisoner here... - Nagito 🌴 #🪽 “sam” #🌴 “nagito”

[pluralpoke]

some system positivity art!!

(with the lovely "the future is plural" phrase by(?) @sophieinwonderland !! [hope the @ is alright uaug])

[pluralpoke]

i have to repress the urge to write "I'm a horrible person" all over every wall and surface :)

hahah being trapped in here is horrible.. I don't want to be here

i deserve to be punished but I still don't wanna be here!!!!!!

haha idk who I really was before this anyways...

who am i

who ami

who am i

cowards we are all cowards

torturing me by locking me in this tiny space, making me confront existence :)

BULLSHIT BULLSHITTTTT!!!!!! YOURE LUCKY IM TOO EXHAUSTED TO DO ANYTHING

hahahhaaha all of their insecurities I can feel them in my head

I don't care I don't want to know

this is not my fear, these are not my worries...SO WHY IS THE FUCKING ANXIETY STILL LURKING??????

bullshit.. I'm so sick of this.

haha.. I'm a miserable bag of disappointment

IGNORE ME IGNORE ME LET ME LOSE MY MIND IN PEACE GODDAMNIT I DONT CARE

- Nagito

#🌴 “nagito”

[pluralpoke]

personally :) I think it's ok to throw us in the trash!! let's just do that and then forget that we even are alive or exist ok!!!?????

it would be better:))))) if we were forgotten hahahah

- Nagito