postsfromthedark

[postsfromthedark]

remus: men have prostates in their ass for a reason.

sirius: you used to be shy, now you’re a whore.

remus: character development.

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Evan and Regulus trying to have a conversation and barty being Barty

The Slytherin Skittles daily group call

Barty pissed at a party ( really could be any of them )

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Please….Please save me from the regulus discourse I keep seeing…i saw 7 posts about it in succession…he doesn’t deserve this…I need…regulus headcanons…

JUICY HEADCANONS HERE WE GO.

tagging @rizzulusarcturizz @villain-crown @ilovefanfics @arcturusblackregulus and @queerregulusablack because i love them.

regulus smokes his first cigarette in his brother's room, taken from a pack sirius left behind. he keeps the pack even after he's smoked all of what's inside, because that's where he puts all his little notes for sirius.

—

sirius likes to tell regulus that he loved regulus before he was ever born, and little regulus would always laugh at that. he tells his big brother to stop being silly, and sirius plays at being offended. "i'm not being silly! it's true! i was waiting for you all along!"

—

pre-hogwarts regulus and sirius once fought over regulus fussing over kreacher. sirius was looking for regulus only to find him trying to convince kreacher to let him wrap his injured finger with his handkerchief.

Sirius calls regulus out in annoyance because he didn't want his brother touching the elf, he was uneasy around them and he didn't think it was regulus' role to care for beings meant to serve them (as they've heard their entire lives). but regulus wouldn't budge. he grips on to Kreacher's hand tighter while glaring at sirius. the shock at regulus' ire turns into petty rage and jealousy, as the poor elf keeps telling regulus that it was okay, mumbling out a dozen other protests about how master regulus didn't need to lower himself and— and— this makes sirius angrier. so much so that he ends up yelling at kreacher to shut up. which in turn makes regulus scream at sirius to go away.

and so sirius does, angrily, hurt, and feeling slightly betrayed. so unused to regulus... fighting him. "Stupid little brothers," he says to himself. "See if I ever play with him again!"

Sirius was still by himself, thinking of turning regulus away when his brother inevitably came to his room later at night, to sleep in his bed, when he hears his brother's wailing cries. this puts a primal fear into his being that far overshadows whatever childish anger he was clinging to. he runs down the stairs to see what's happened. and there, he sees his brother, clutching at his cheek and cowering from the tall figure of his mother looming over him, wand drawn.

regulus was caught with kreacher.

for once in his (relatively young) life, sirius is frozen. he doesn't know what to do. this isn't a broken vase he can say he broke. this wasn't something he could say regulus did for him. the act of nursing an injured elf was so clearly an action belonging to regulus. only regulus would do this.

he looks at their mother and sees the disgust and disappointment lining her features. regulus was her perfect boy.

and her perfect boy had wrapped his handkerchief, with the black family coat of arms embroidered right at the center, and used it to bandage an elf's bleeding finger. his mother is incandescent.

sirius is too slow, too short, to reach his brother as walburga reaches to shake his brother with a frightening vigor that has regulus crying out in alarm.

"Don't you ever do that again, you hear me?" his mother shouts over regulus' panicked cries. At sirius' shout of alarm, she lets regulus go with a harsh shove and makes her way to him.

"You should've taught him better! What use are you to the family if you can't look after your brother?" she yells at him. she prods at his chest, making sure her nails dig in painfully, "This is your fault, you foolish child." Sirius can't even muster the rage he so usually feels at his mother, yet again, finding ways to blame him. At least she's let regulus go.

When, after their mother has left, sirius gathers his little brother into his arms and shushes him, rubbing his back best as he can. they're both reeling. regulus at being punished for what he thought was right, unused to being the recipient of their mother's anger. and sirius for not being able to do anything, to help him — replaying the way his limbs froze, his mind unable to think of something quick to say or do.

he wants to punish kreacher for his brother's tears.

—

regulus is top of his class in potions. really, it's him and severus that become the talk of the school. prodigies. Slughorn's two favorite students and the topic of most his open bragging. a lot of students remark on them being fortunately in separate years, avoiding the cutthroat competition that would've been for the top spot. they don't necessarily like each other, but the respect is there.

regulus expected to receive the brunt of severus' anger regarding his brother. he tells him this as they end up in the same library aisle, discussing which potions book had better methodology. and the older scoffs.

"It's sad how you keep wanting to be like your brother."

and the statement stings. he idolizes his brother.

"Get over yourself, Black. It's a compliment. You're not your brother and you've already made a name for yourself."

oh...

"Never talk to me about this again. I don't hate you but we're not friends."

After finishing 6th year, Severus gives him his potions book.

"Here, see if you can do better than me. Use it and let me know how it turns out." he stops before he walks away, "Or not. I'll probably hear about it from the professors."

—

something something regulus asking to apprentice under madame pomfrey. regulus slowly gains her trust and respect. eventually, she lets him help with remus, after he comes to her telling her how he knows, and how remus knows that he knows.

"I mean... Moony? Really?" he asks incredulously. He shoves his wand harshly under Remus' throat, "Do you think I'm stupid?"

—

Regulus tells Sirius to leave. He'll follow but not in the near future.

"Come on, Sirius. I'll survive without you. But you won't with me." "That's not true! Together or not at all, remember? We promised. I promised." "What, you think I'm not brave enough? Too soft to ever completely leave the family behind? That I'll lose myself to them?" "No, I think you've always been brave. Too brave. You don't have to be brave for them and not this way. Can't you see Reggie? This way's fucked up. We can just leave!" "It's... It's not that bad Sirius. Or at least it never was for me. I can be strong for the both of us and I want to — just promise you won't go where I can't follow." "As if. What do you want me to tell moony, you little shit?" "That I love him." "This hurts you know? This entire conversation has been one big pain in the ass, and it's going to be for a long while. Man, fuck you. Honestly. I can't blame you, but this hurts, just so you know." "I know. I love you." "...I know."

[postsfromthedark]

Reverse Tropes

Soulmates - Your soulmate is destined to be your greatest rival in life.

Amnesia - Instead of losing memories, they start getting memories that aren't theirs.

Forced Marriage - Forced Divorce.

Captured Prince - They think they've captured the prince of the opposing kingdom, but they've actually just captured a normal, random civilian.

Chosen one Prophesy - There is a prophecy about *someone* saving the world, but it doesn't actually say who...

Born with Special Marks - It's actually a mark that tells a person what they *won't* be good at.

True Loves Kiss - True Hates Kiss, good luck convincing someone who truly hates you to kiss you.

Love at First Sight - Hate at First Sight.

Rags to Riches - Riches to Rags

Found Family - You need to find your actual, related family.

Misunderstood Villain - Misunderstood hero. They are trying to be evil, why does everyone like them!?

It Was All a Dream - They thought it was a dream, but it turned out to all be real.

Secret Identity - The secret Identity is the one everyone knows, somehow, everyone has forgotten your normal identity...

Villain Defeated by Friendship - Villain defeated by hatred.

Bad Boy & Good Girl - Good boy and bad girl.

Stalking/Obsessive Love - Avoiding the person they like to try and ignore their feelings.

Monster x Hunter - Hunter x Hunter, both thinking the other is a monster, or Monster x Monster, both thinking the other is a hunter.

Hero Gets Framed - The wrong villain gets framed.

Yandere - but it's two going after each other.

[postsfromthedark]

Friday Funnies!

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Writing Prompt 116

A high hero, drugged either by an enemy or by choice, stumbling into the villain's hq looking for their parent, Supervillain.

[postsfromthedark]

I was way too proud of this joke not to turn it into a comic

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New hyperfixation unlocked

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We were rewatching Owl House finale

Had a silly thought about what if Belos really was in that closet and like what would they do then??? Like boink him on a forehead or something??XDDD

[postsfromthedark]

[postsfromthedark]

barty and Evan killed walburga and orion black and made it look like an accident after regulus died

[postsfromthedark]

The bartylus vibes of this photo,the position,the way he touches her neck,all black,leather gloves,it's just argh

[postsfromthedark]

btw bartylus to me are crazily codependent and obnoxious best friends like james and sirius. but like. u js don’t know notice it cause they’re a lot more begrudging about it but i swear to you. listen to me

barty is constantly around regulus. if you’re looking for regulus u better be prepared to find barty. or find him a couple steps behind. regulus only feels comfortable in a room full of people he doesn’t know if barty’s there too. barty threw away everything to follow regulus once he got the dark mark. barty lost his fucking MIND when regulus died. regulus is allowed to make fun of barty whenever and however he pleases but if anyone else he doesn’t know does it he gets incredibly insanely annoyed. barty would have burned the world down if regulus asked. regulus would let him. they’re probably dating but also nobody knows what the fuck is going on in their relationship ever. the first time they got high they made out. barty, if asked who he would fuck marry or kill, would choose to fuck regulus. regulus would choose to fuck barty. they had a “if the two of us don’t get with anyone we should get together” promise that went on for years. they

[postsfromthedark]

Evan and regulus lying side by side on the bed with barty taking turns going down on each of them, sucking Evan off slow and good and eating regulus out till his thighs are shaking and evan and regulus can’t keep their hands off of each other

oooohhhh hell yeah nonny and actually dont ask me why but my mind immediately went to like verbal humiliation/degradation sorta vibe where

hold on (NSFW)

Evan pulls Barty off by the hair, grip harsh and Barty whines openly, mouth dripping with spit and cum. Both his and Regulus’.

The air of their bedroom is harsh and cool against Evan’s slick and exposed erection but Regulus had started to hump his hand helplessly so Evan guides Barty’s face back down and buries it between Regulus’ legs.

The moan from Regulus is immediate, his back bowing, and Evan wastes no time mouthing along his exposed throat where his head is thrown back, usually neat curls mussed by the pillow. He takes himself back in hand, stroking slowly, just enough to keep the stimulation up but not enough to get himself somewhere close to the edge.

“Fuck,” Regulus explaims and Barty groans hungily in response, chasing after where Regulus’ hips are jerking away from the intense onslaught of stimulation.

Evan hums, kissing his way down along Regulus’ clavicles, his chest, as he watched Barty try to dig deeper into Regulus’ wet and puffy cunt. When his eyes snap up and meet Evan’s, he moans pitifully, hips rutting down into the mattress.

“Look at how desperate you are for it,” Evan comments between kisses to Regulus’ skin, “Gagging for it, panting like a fucking dog—some dirty mutt.”

Barty’s brows furrow, eyes squeezing shut, and he makes another needy groan against Regulus’ slick folds. The wet noises are obscene.

Evan drives his fingers through Barty’s sweaty hair again and tugs him back off, detaching his mouth from Regulus with a wet smacking noise and a whine from both of them.

“Aren’t we generous to let you get us off, huh?”

A vehement hum, frantic nodding, and Barty strains to lower his face back down. Hissing in pain when Evan keeps him suspended, grip iron.

“Words, stupid.” Next to Evan, Regulus lazily props up on his elbows, watching the spectacle with a glimmer in his eyes.

“Yes,” Barty rasps, throat raw from having Evan’s cock down there again and again for the past half hour. His jaw must be aching. “Yeah, you are.”

Evan hums and the corners of Regulus lips lift devilishly, “What do we say then?”

Barty blinks stupidly for a second, then his eyes clear a bit and a feral grin spreads across his face where he’s still glistening wet with the both of them. “I dunno, what do we say?”

Before Evan has time to reply Regulus’ moves, arm snapping out and palm slapping Barty right across his cheek, sending his head flying and the cocky smirk right with it.

When he turns back his face is flushed but Evan thinks it must be equal parts aroused blush and Regulus’ lovely hand print.

“Manners,” Regulus admonishes in his high and mighty and poised tone, like he didn’t just hit Barty right across his face.

A sound rips from deep within Barty’s throat and then his tongue is lolling out, eyes glazed again, and he whimpers, “Thank you.”

[postsfromthedark]

ohh baby I am still thinking abt pillow princess reg. she was raised all prim and proper and filthy rich, the spoiled youngest daughter with an older brother right. fuck it maybe she was an actual princess. one of those random countries that still have royalty or whatever. so she leaves her family, and then somehow someway the aforementioned rosekiller murder girlfriends adopt her. and everything they do and wear and say is always SUCH a culture shock but she loves them but she’s a little horrified sometimes. like the girl is short circuiting at something as simple as seeing their unshaved armpits.

and the spaces she’s grown up in, the people she’s been around her whole life have objectified her so much that she’s never once even really considered her own pleasure. that’s not useful to anyone. she’s something to be married off and treated as a vessel of sorts. so like yes she’s been spoiled and is used to being the center of attention but not like this.

barty and evan are like “dw baby you can be a different kind of princess now. we can still find ways to spoil u” and ohhh do they!!!

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I think the idea of rosestarkiller would be very funny if Trans Regulus and Evan had to marry because of their families and they take Barty with them on their honeymoon which starts up rumors and Barty is like "Ya'll ain't having a threeway with a hot rich married couple??"

some start to think he's joking until Reg and Evan confirm it.

GOODBYEEEEE the joke becoming reality and barty smugly like "yeah i'm fucking two rich hotties, sue me"