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Every odd number has the letter ‘E’ in it

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Twitter has a 140 character limit, yet I still found a way to tell one of the longest and most obnoxious knock-knock jokes of all time within a single tweet.

I am more proud of this accomplishment than any human right has the right to be.

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do u ever do something mildly impolite like not give a nice goodbye or not hold a door and spend the rest of the day thinking about it

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The “stare” before the kiss.

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Rappers act all hard but all they’re doing is reading you their poetry.

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listen……. ‘my love’ is literally the strongest and greatest pet name in existence. there is literally nothin better than somone callin you that….. especially when things are soft and quiet and they look at you with utter adoration and whisper “what’s the matter, my love??” or “i hope everything is okay with you, my love” like oh my god?? let me marry you already

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Ask me please!

No limit 1.Kissed a girl? 2.Kissed a boy? 3.Had sex in public? 4.What’s your religion? 5.What does your URL mean? 6.Reason you joined tumblr? 7.Do you have any nicknames? 8.Do you like bubble bath? 9.Kissed in the rain? 10.Dyed your hair? 11.Soup or salad? 12.Vegetable or meat? 13.Go out drinking? 14.Smoke cigarettes? 15.Smoke weed? 16.Do any hard drugs? 17.Have you had sex today? 18.Have you ever fallen asleep in someones arms? 19.The relationship between you and the person you last texted? 20.Has anyone ever told you you have pretty eyes? 21.Skipped doing homework to play a video game? 22.Tried to commit suicide? 23.The last time you felt broken? 24.Had to lie to EVERYONE about how you felt? 25.Do you have a Boyfriend/Girlfriend? 26.Do you have Long hair OR short hair? 27.First thing you notice to a guy/girl? 28.Do you sing in the shower? 29.Do you dance in the car? 30.Where were you yesterday? 31.Ever used a bow and arrow? 32.Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer? 33.Do you think musicals are cheesy? 34.Is Christmas stressful? 35.Favorite type of fruit pie? 36.Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid? 37.Do you believe in ghosts? 38.Ever have a Deja-vu feeling? 39.Take a vitamin daily? 40.Wear slippers? 41.Wear a bath robe? 42.What do you wear to bed? 43.Do you want to get married? 44.Can you curl your tongue?

Relationship preference: 45.How many relationships have you had? 46.How can I win your heart? 47.what makes a great relationship? 48.Shy OR open? 50.Religious OR non-religious? 51.Caring OR non-restricting of you? 52.Straight edge OR non-straight edge? 53.Piercings OR no piercings? 54.Tattoos OR no tattoos? 55.Quiet stay-at-home type OR party type? Tell me a number and I’ll answer honest!

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*Dangerous Woman starts playing* Friend 1: Don’t start Friend 2: I’m begging you Me:

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‘rose gold’ lockscreens | like this post if u save

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