rainbowgaez

[rainbowgaez]

im gay

[rainbowgaez]

Electro’s power can not be contained.

[rainbowgaez]

writing down “had a frozen lasagna for dinner. it was subpar” in my diary and thinking smugly about how i’m recording the common lives of 2024 for future anthropologists

[rainbowgaez]

Sunset (& Shimmer) versus the Siren Sisters.

Finally got to designing the Dazzlings. First time doing monsters too, it was fun. I'll post a synopsis of Sunset's story for the AU below the cut.

Once upon a time, there lived a human in Canterlot simply named "Sunset." She was the prized pupil of the Sun Witch Celestia (aside from Celestia's adoptive daughter, Cadance) –– her "little solar flare." But Sunset desired more than status; she wanted power –– she wanted to be a Witch. For when she looked in the mirror, she no longer saw a lowly human, but the Fire Witch she was meant to be.

The more Celestia denied her desires, the stronger her animosity grew. One night, Sunset performed a dark, forbidden ritual to commune with the spirit world and grant her a Witch's body. But the ritual backfired when Celestia stormed in. In the ensuing chaos, a piece of Celestia was transferred into Sunset and three wicked spirits were released into the physical world: the Siren Sisters –– Aria, Sonata, and the most powerful, Adagio.

Despite her best efforts to contain the sirens, Celestia could not stop them from escaping to Earth where she could not reach. Distraught, betrayed, and heartbroken, Celestia banished an inconsolable Sunset to Earth. Only once she vanquishes the three spirit blights she brought upon this world will she be allowed to return home.

Today, Sunset wanders the American West with her trusty steed Shimmer in search of the final and eldest sister. Through her years of traveling alone, her hatred burns hotter –– hatred of Celestia, hatred of the sirens, and hatred of herself.

#She #this fucks

[rainbowgaez]

What if

#this would fix me

[rainbowgaez]

Good boy

[rainbowgaez]

[rainbowgaez]

Joker without makeup .

#classic

[rainbowgaez]

When trans women are mocked and made into jokes in the media, I get very upset, and I am often told “Kay, you can’t go through life getting offended every time someone makes a joke.” And I sputter and object but they don’t hear me. So I want to be clear for once, about why the jokes make me angry.

I learned to hate myself for being transgender before I knew I was transgender. I laughed at the jokes in stand up comedy routines, and prime time sitcoms, and animated comedy shows, and in the movies, and in books, and in games, laughing at trans women for existing, about “men in dresses”, about people who “got their dicks chopped off”, and I learned to think that was worthy of ridicule.

And then a day came when I felt a pang of envy at what my female classmates were wearing and I repressed it, and felt guilty, and a day where I felt incomplete because I had no breasts and I repressed it and I felt disgusting And a day when I realized the only images of romance that made me feel anything showed two women together and I repressed it and I felt like a monster And a day when I realized I felt sick when I looked at myself in the mirror after every shower before work and couldn’t bear to look at my own face, and I hated myself. And then there came a day when I hated myself so much, and I thought I could never understand why, and so I just wanted it all to end. And it was just a miracle that I swerved my car back into my lane in time.

And all of it started with a joke that I heard on TV, and then kept hearing from all the voices from the ether, over and over and over, worming an idea into my mind before I was old enough to realize I was absorbing it, the idea that a man in a dress is funny, and that changing your body parts makes you a freak, and that women who have penises instead of vaginas are liars and hurt men. And they’re still making these jokes. And somewhere out there right now, just like all those years ago, there is a little girl in a t-shirt and cargo shorts with buzzed off hair watching the TV, hearing that joke and absorbing it without knowing it, who will someday have to pry herself apart to tear it out of her head, just like I did.

That is, if she doesn’t kill herself first.

[rainbowgaez]

I need to (remembers to not make casual suicide jokes in order to encourage a more outwardly positive mindset and healthy conversational environment in my day to day life) kill myself

[rainbowgaez]

doing butterfly knife shit to her penis

[rainbowgaez]

[rainbowgaez]

one thing about being a trans woman in a male dominated space is that before you start transitioning (and early into it), you will just be off-putting to other men. it sucks, but in my experience that just made it easier to avoid people i probably wouldn't have gotten along with anyway.

however, after you hit a certain threshold in transition and performative presentation, you become fly tape for the most desperate kind of weird guys imaginable. you might think this is an improvement. it's better to be liked than shunned and could-shouldered—and it's hard to argue with that—but the thing about these weird dudes is that they are often not very perceptive, introspective or self-aware, and that complicates an already complicated situation.

you see, they are parched. for weeks, months, years, they've been searching for a pretty girl who they believe is as verifiably skilled and knowledgeable as they think they are. and after suffering through the sweltering sausage desert that is their hobby or interest, they've stumbled upon an oasis. they become infatuated, assured their journey has come to an end so long as they can flatter and impress their way into your heart, something they're woefully confident in their ability to achieve usually. their narrow view of reason is eclipsed because something girl shaped is the perfect size to obscure it.

this is something that pretty much any femme presenting person has probably had to deal with at some point, but as a trans woman it has placed me in this really awkward spot multiple times. most of the time it comes down to two questions:

do they know, and are they going to be weird about it?

i know, ideally, it wouldn't matter, and hopefully i can just turn down their advances and they'll take a hint and fuck off. but that's just the ideal scenario, and like i said earlier, these guys aren't good at picking up hints.

so if they persist, it's like. what do i do? do i tell them in hopes they'll they'll lose interest? that's just one possibility out of several that come from doing that. earlier when i asked "are they going to be weird about it," it's important to mention "weird" means more than one thing in this context. are they suddenly going to start acting angry and violent toward me as if my personal existence is an attempt to deceive them? are they going to become more interested and thereby even harder to make go away? did they somehow already know and that's why they were interested in the first place?

all questions i never want to have to ask nor do i want answered but things i feel i have to occupy myself with to make sure i don't end up in an even worse situation

#once a month i get a dude that leave dozens of comments on my yt videos #telling me im pretty and beautiful and all this shit #overall being Very Subtle abt their intentions #and im like bro im just here to show you i can play something on guitar #im a married lesbian and my dick is probably bigger than yours #fuck off #apologies if i didnt use the right language #im not very good at articulating these types of this which is why i seldom ever post about it

[rainbowgaez]

[rainbowgaez]

do you ever hear people talking about something and you’re like. fuck. let me be real for a second. i’m too much of a commie to have this conversation

[rainbowgaez]

Your art had sooo good moviment

Can you do Applejack flexing? Ah wonder how could be like in your style

I have no idea what they're judging but Rainbow is not doing it fairly. But then, neither is Rarity lol

#she didnt mean in a fight

[rainbowgaez]

(CW: This is rage bait, please do not watch if you do not want to be enraged)

#it is impossible to come to a consensus due to 'poe's law' 😔