regalthecat

[regalthecat]

Two idiots decided that they weren't going anywhere in life and thought they should go to college to get ahead. The first goes in to see the counselor, who tells him to take Math, History, and Logic. 

"What's Logic?" the first idiot asks.

The professor answers by saying, "Let me give you an example."

"Do you own a weedeater?"

"I sure do."

"Then I can assume, using logic, that you have a yard," replied the professor.

"That's real good!"

The professor continues, "Logic will also tell me that since you have a yard, you also own a house."

Impressed, "Amazin!"

"And since you own a house, logic dictates that you have a wife."

"That's Betty Mae! This is incredible!" The idoit is obviously catching on.

"Finally, since you have a wife, logically I can assume that you are heterosexual," said the professor.

"You're absolutely right! Why that's the most fascinatin' thing I ever heard! I can't wait to take that logic class!!"

The idiot, proud of the new world opening up to him, walks back into the hallway, where his friend is still waiting.

"So what classes are ya takin'?" asks the friend.

"Math, History, and Logic!" he replies.

"What in tarnation is logic???" asked his friend.

"Let me give you an example. Do ya own a weedeater?" he asked.

"No," his friend replied.

"Gay."

[regalthecat]

You wouldn’t last an hour in the asylum where they raised me

[regalthecat]

HE'S BACK, BABY

EA-NASIR IS HERE FOR US, RIPPING OFF CAPITALISTS

AS PER MY LAST TABLET

[regalthecat]

you ever just sit and realise u can’t remember 80% of your childhood? like … what happened? who am i ..?

[regalthecat]

i like to call this ‘popular mlm ships with freakishly similar name dynamics’

this means absolutely nothing i’ve simply been observing this for a hot sec

[regalthecat]

Jason: We do this the old-fashioned way

Jason: *pulls out a Molotov cocktail*

Dick: How did you make that so fast?!

[regalthecat]

I'm getting so pissed with people who are saying Gwen isnt trans. Like they're trying to explain why her dad has a trans patch on his jacket and why she has a trans flag in her room, by saying she supports trans people... wtf???? Literally what ally has a TRANS FLAG, IN THEIR ROOM, BECAUSE THEY SUPPORT TRANS PEOPLE??? That's some shit closeted me would tell my parents when they saw me drawing rainbows. People that are saying this shit are literally just transphobic and dont want her to be trans. Gwen is trans and fuck everyone that argues against that.

[regalthecat]

peter-man and chair guy

[regalthecat]

i thought my laptop was on its last leg because it was running at six billion degrees and using 100% disk space at all times and then i turned off shadows and some other windows effects and it was immediately cured. i just did the same to my roommate's computer and its performance issues were also immediately cured. okay. i guess.

so i guess if you have creaky freezy windows 10/11 try searching "advanced system settings", go to performance settings, and uncheck "show shadows under windows" and anything else you don't want. hope that helps someone else.

[regalthecat]

[regalthecat]

IM SO SICK OF YOU ALL

No nuance allowed. please share for a bigger sample 💕💕💕💕💕

*by eat i mean how do you prefer your cereal.

[regalthecat]

that moment in ep 5x09 when evil gwen approaches arthur and he's now aware that she is evil is so funny. the way he reaches for the letter opener on his desk. what exactly are you gonna do arthur. stab your wife

[regalthecat]

tim: sweet dog you got there. gordon: yes, this is our new drug-sniffing dog. tim: still training huh? gordon: red robin.. what do you mean? tim: ... tim: nevermind...

[regalthecat]

i deliver pizzas & sometimes funny things happen

[regalthecat]

"... the prophets do not lie. there Arthur will meet his end, upon that mighty plain."

a lesser woman would've lost hope a greater woman wouldn't beg but I looked to the sky and said please

-- the prophecy, the tortured poets department // merlin, the kindness of strangers

[regalthecat]

Instagram is trying to get me to use threads by showing discourse too rancid for the worst parts of the tumblr

[regalthecat]

I am having the worst gay fever I’ve had in months, maybe years. My eyes are watering, I can’t stop sniffling, even the meds aren’t helping. Surely, I will soon perish.