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No, Mr. Horse, don’t worry, I certainly don’t have a Plinko down here! What I do have is this lovely cask of wine, specifically for horses, Amontillado in fact! Exquisite vintage.

I know you’re not supposed to be in this hospital, but if you’ll just follow me down this corridor—no, that’s not blood on the floor, it’s color theory, I’ll explain it later—I can bring you to this cask of wine that is certainly NOT a plinko machine—

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it’s the parley room…the parlor room? the parley parlor.

#beautiful ❤️

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Having anotheg 'gork we have got to get out of bed faster then this' morning

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“hey bruh lemme stuff this toilet with ps1′s. im gone kill the tumblr game with this one”

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why should i care about taylor swift when the killer remains at large

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So no one told you life was gonna be this way *Phantom of the Opera overture*

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why don’t you shut your fucking mouth and look at the wikipedia page for sucking cock???????????

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I just followed you but now that you said you think Spider-Man is bi I think I gotta unfollow sorry

this is so funny what did you expect me to say. did u not read my url when u followed

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foreman. babe. we’re at the bottom end of season 8. you have worked here for almost a decade. why are you still surprised there's medical malpractice going on at the medical malpractice department that you, personally, used to do medical malpractice at

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Can't decide whether it's funnier to say "my hungry ass could never work at a" and then say something that implies you're eating something truly grotesque or something that just, makes no sense

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another inherently funny part of star trek is the very first show establishes a magic machine that sparklezaps them out of uncomfortable situations so for the next 56 years writers have to keep coming up with reasons why it won't work this time

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I can't be the only one surprised how casually you're just. Here. Mind talking about what it was like to like. Join Tumblr?

It was 13 or 14 years ago. From what I remember you just shouldered aside the mastodons, went into the Tumblr cave and carved your mark on the wall, telling people you were now signed up for tumblr, and then they would haul memes on animal hides past you. Back then it was mostly cats doing amusing things, obviously, but we would watch them by the flickering firelight, and chortle to ourselves hopefully before leaving the cave and trudging back to our lives.

#the wording if that reply lets me know that neil has defo been here for over a decade

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saw I trap: hey girlie! this guy is dead. but he has a key in his tummy!! could you get it out to save yourself??

saw traps II and up: preform brain surgery on yourself then eat your own arm then watch your wife be brutally murdered then melt all your skin off with this acid then kill 7 innocent bystanders. you have 45 seconds. now you'll think twice about taking antidepressants.

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I’ve heard a great deal about you, Fa Mulan. You stole your father’s armor, ran away from home, impersonated a soldier, deceived your commanding officer, dishonored the Chinese Army, destroyed my palace, and…You stole Fizzy-Lifting Drinks! You bumped into the ceiling, which now has to be washed and sterilized, so you get… NOTHING!!! You lose! GOOD DAY, SIR!