rhaeblack66

[rhaeblack66]

There’s fanfiction…. And then there’s FANFICTION. The kind of shit you happen upon at like 3am or some other ungodly time because you were trying to find a fix for ur fixation at the time and you are just SUCKED IN and every sentence feels like a line of cocaine and it has quotes and imagery that permeate your brain and it’s the shit that sticks around in your consciousness forever and it never goes away and it’s always going to be one of Those Fics.

[rhaeblack66]

tim: honestly, ra’s isn’t that bad of a guy

dick: tim, is this some weird form of stockholm syndrome we need to talk about?

tim: what? no, his whole thing for killing people is basically ‘save the trees’ the guys a hippie - he cries when an animal dies and he met his wife at woodstock

dick: and your point is?

tim: i’m just saying, he’s a silly lil dude

dick: tim, he’s killed thousands

tim: hypothetically i have as well, but i don’t think explosions count if you give them a 5 minute warning

dick: what?!

tim: again, hypothetically

[rhaeblack66]

Jay has had enough of the pacifistic garbage

[rhaeblack66]

Damian: I'm running away! Tim: And where are you going to go? Dick's place? Bruce will know where to find you. Damian: There's one other place where he won't think to look! [later on] Damian: *knocking* Jason, opening the door: Why are you here? Damian: I'm running away and I don't want father to find me. Jason, stepping aside: You came to the right place.

[rhaeblack66]

fic where evan follows barty and regulus into the death eaters. regulus has been fed propaganda by his family his entire life and barty doesn't really care, but he knows that being a death eater will piss off his dad, and that's all he really wants.

but then evan almost dies, and his whole world view changes.

within seconds, barty is grabbing him and running. he doesn't give a shit about his dad because while his dad has never been there for him, evan always has been.

this doesn't mean that barty doesn't care about voldemort or the war, though. the war almost took his evan away, and the war is voldemort's fault.

the day after evan's almost-death, the two of them show up at pandora's house. she lets evan in without a second thought - he's her brother (or sibling, bc i love genderqueer evan), after all - but she just watches barty for a while. but she sees the haunted look in his eyes, and she knows that he's learned. that he's come back.

she brings both of them to the next order meeting, and chaos breaks loose. people are fighting and screaming and suddenly barty is standing on the table holding a list of all the plans the death eaters have made for the next three months. he's passing it around, letting them all have a look, giving proof and explanations and answers to everyone's questions. and he's not in as quickly as he was with pandora, but he's in.

surprisingly, the person to warm up to him the quickest is lily evans. she's a muggleborn, so she should hate someone so careless, so bigoted, but she doesn't. instead, she seems fascinated by him. he's smart and that's so underappreciated, she thinks, and by his third day with the order she's begging for him to teach her italian.

a month after barty and evan defect from the death eaters pandora is acting weird. pacing, never sleeping, never eating unless evan forces to until finally she bursts into their room in the middle of the night and says that regulus is in danger.

rescue mission time!

i'm thinking horcrux hunt feat. barty of course and also regulus 100% (long distance rosekiller might give some nice angst ok. so evan is not guaranteed as part of the hunt) but i can't decide between lily and pandora as the third?? or maybe dorcas?? or maybe lily and pandora and they end up kissing?? so much can happen, guys. so much. for now:

[rhaeblack66]

Jason: oh so being an anti-hero is sexy and cool when your fuck buddies do it, but god forbid I-your SON-even touch a duffel bag full of heads. Is it the lack of tits B? Is it?

Bruce:

Jason:

Bruce:

Jason: 🤨

Bruce: never say that to me again *melts into darkness*

Dick: *muffled wheezing from medbay bed*

Jason: see how he didn’t answer?

Dick: *actually dead from his broken rib puncturing a lung*

Jason: *pokes Dick* *pokes Dick* *pokes Dick*

Jason: if I had tits this would have never been an issue :/

[rhaeblack66]

the batkids decide play a new game on patrol where they try to yell the most outrageous thing jumping into a fight

bruce bans the game after stephanie runs into a crowd of bystanders and muggers yelling

‘bienvenue power bottoms!’

and it causes jason to crash into a power pole from how hard he was laughing

[rhaeblack66]

Robin!Dick: I feel like you’re judging me.

Ivy: I am not judging you. I am HEAVILY judging your mentor.

[rhaeblack66]

Obsessed with Batkids that came after Jason's death accidentally letting slip things they know about him/talking about him like he's there:

Tim: "Not that he's-- I mean, the way Bruce talks about him, sometimes it's like--

Duke, simultaneously: "We hired a medium last week to communicate with his spirit."

----------------

Steph, accidentally bursting out of the kitchen while Damian is being interviewed: "Someone tell Jason he's an asshole for finishing all the peanut butter." *spots camera crew and freezes*

Damian: "Jason's what I named our new dog. Right Baba? He's the dog we saw last week at the shelter."

Bruce, through gritted teeth: "Yes, I remember saying that we had too many animals already, but anything to make my kids happy."

Steph, awkwardly sidestepping out of the frame.

[rhaeblack66]

Tim: wait, you quit smoking?

Jason: I quit smoking when I became Robin.

Tim: Ok,That Is Not True. I've seen you smoke recently, don't gaslight me!

Dick: You didn't really quit smoking when you were Robin Jay, you used to take my cigs sometimes

Duke: wait,, YOU used to smoke??

Dick: Yeah, back when I was Nightwing

Duke: You're /still/ Nightwing ???

Tim: He means back when he was Discowing

Duke: What's discowing???

Jason: The reason I used to smoke.

[rhaeblack66]

Bruce: Hey guys, why are you all standing on chairs? Are you playing a game?

Duke: Yeah, we’re playing “we saw a big-ass spider and don’t know where the fuck it went”.

Bruce: *scrambles onto a chair*

[rhaeblack66]

Tim knew what his parents got up to. They weren’t the most legal people no surprise. I mean they were hobby archeologist who regularly reserved dog sights that they probably shouldn’t have access to. So yeah, it’s not surprise Tim is the way he is.

All alone in that house left to his own devices, you bet he snuck into his parents office. All their files are there he read all of them. When he was 6 he contracted a fresh on the scene Slade to come teach him how to be sneaky. The court of owls looked at him oddly one time and he exposed a quarter of their members.

So when Jason dies and Tim tries to be the good person he’s expected to be only for both bruce and dick to basically turn him away at the door little Tim decideds to do things his parents way.

Complete and utter defeat.

In front of Bruce, after being firmly rejected, Tim calls up his honorary uncle Slade and with a smile conveying the purest of innocents he requests a hit on the joker for a million.

Tim’s out the door before Bruce comes out of his shock, but the question now is does he track down Tim (who disappeared off the face of the earth supposedly but is actually on his way to meet his parents at their dig site near nanda parbat), track Slade who is being paid has taken a job to kill the joker, or set up some kind of protection detail around the joker?

[rhaeblack66]

Jason to Bruce privately in the Cave: “That was the stupidest decision I’ve ever seen you make. Do you really think they’re going to want to be your friends once they find out the truth? If you could unclench for ONE minute this all could’ve been avoided—”

Jason at the Justice League meeting on the Watchtower ten minutes later: “If anyone even LOOKS at Batman I’ll rip their throat out. None of you fuckers understand how many favors he’s doing your sorry asses. If you’re too stupid to listen to Batman, that’s your prerogative. He’s the only thing keeping this damn satellite in ORBIT—”

[rhaeblack66]

sometimes im like "wow holy shit im being really fucking annoying. i should stop talking" and then i pull out my magic 8 ball and it says "youve always been annoying and your friends chose to talk you anyways. youll be fine" and im like wow thanks magic 8 ball. and then the ogre attacks me

[rhaeblack66]

the smallest man who ever lived was written about juliette ferrars from the shatter me series and i will not be taking criticism at this time

“you wouldn’t last an hour in the asylum where they raised me”

talking about anderson or literally anyone in the establishment fr

#taylor swift #the tortured poets department #ts ttpd #the smallest man who ever lived #juliette ferrars #shatter me #aaron warner

[rhaeblack66]

the wretched abomination known as the minotaur has discovered some chalk

[rhaeblack66]

the fearsome minotaur has been defeated!

…by the sleepies

shhh