roffmychest

[roffmychest]

My dad has been mentally ill for a long time. I know it's not his fault, but his illness has made him very distant for a large part of my childhood and adulthood. I know in my heart that I love him, he's my dad after all, but sometimes it feels like we don't know each other at all. My mom couldn't take it, and now they're getting divorced. He's always isolated himself to the extreme, so basically, his only friend wants him out of her life. When he tells me he's lonely I feel so fucking guilty. I want to be a good daughter, but when I visit him, I feel like he's a black hole, sucking the energy out of me. Every time I feel drained. I don't want to feel this way about my dad.

.

#r/offmychest

[roffmychest]

Ive suspected for a long time that my parents don't like us (the kids) and that they'd be happier with just the two of them. I'm no contact with them both, and my sibling just told me our parents are having a great time decorating their home they just bought, that my dad is loving having a man cave and that our mom "sounds so happy"

Im happy for them. I am. But I'm sad and so fucking angry. Why couldn't they be happy with us? Why did we all have to leave for them to be themselves? Why did they fight with me so much about things that they now will easily admit to my sibling? Why were we never enough for them? Why can't they just love us?

.

#r/offmychest

[roffmychest]

I hate being on the bigger side because I can’t be on top during sex without worrying about crushing my partner. I’m 125 lbs, bf’s 180. I am muscular and heavyset for someone my height, he’s tall and skinny. if I get on top he says he feels like he’s being crushed. I wish I was one of those 90 lb skinny types because then I wouldn’t have to be stuck doing missionary every night. He can’t pick me up either and I have to watch it when hugging him because I don’t want to hurt him by accident😞. Being this big makes relationships hard in general because most guys won’t be attracted to someone with biceps bigger than his. Fuckin hell why can’t I be skinny

.

#r/offmychest

[roffmychest]

I think I might be intersex but I don’t know how to have it checked. I never thought I could be until recently because I have a period and if I was my parents would have told me. Still I didn’t get my period or show any signs of puberty until I was 14 or 15. I don’t look like other girls though. I’m almost totally flat, no curves, high shoulders and a very deep voice. When my hair was short I got mistaken for a boy so often I had to deal with getting chased out of the girls room. Someone spread rumors that I was intersex and I was a social outcast after. Also during swim meets when I was some girls saw me changing because all the stalls were taken and said my clitoris was big and looked like a dick. In college I had a few guys tell me they found me attractive but didn’t say anything for ages because they couldn’t tell if I was male or female. Im short as fuck but when I had x rays done my doctor told my my skeleton, particularly the pelvis, resembled a males. I wish there was a way to tell for sure.

.

#r/offmychest

[roffmychest]

some days im not sure if im really a trans boy or if my lack of so called universal female experiences makes me feel excluded from womanhood. so much of womanhood is tied up in beauty, grace, looking delicate and being desirable. im not graceful or delicate. i might look frail but im a charging bull in a china shop and stronger physically than any man i know which frightens men away. because of this and not being conventionally attractive im neither beautiful or desirable. some girls say they envy me bc i dont have to worry about men being perverted towards me and can walk alone at night but they disregard the fact that men absolutely dehumanize women they don’t find attractive in a different way. at this point idk

.

#r/offmychest

[roffmychest]

I don't think I'm getting those socks for my birthday that I wanted.

.

#r/offmychest

[roffmychest]

Sucks when its a rough month and the month has only started

.

#r/offmychest

[roffmychest]

Guys lose interest in you once you like them back because the chase is over but if you play hard to get, you get called a bitch.

You expect a girl to go down on you but you’ll never do the same for her.

You want a girl who’s nerdy likes video games and listens to heavy-metal. But when you finally meet one you accuse her of either being a pick me or not being a real fan.

Men want sex from their partner but if you have sex with them even if you wait the guy loses attraction and respect for you and doesn’t like you anymore.

You want a virgin girlfriend who’s never even been touched by a man but then dump her when she doesn’t know how to fuck like a pornstar.

You complain about always having to make the first move, but if your girlfriend starts making the first move, you feel emasculated.

You say you won’t date a girl who weighs over 100 pounds, but then complain when all the skinny girls have small boobs.

You say you like it when a woman pays or goes 50-50 on a date but then when one does you lose respect for her or say that you feel emasculated.

You want a strong, independent woman who never asked you for help with anything then have the audacity to complain about not feeling needed.

I went to a mostly boys school for four years. I naturally look androgynous and have a unisex name. Everyone thought I was a boy. I went with it. I found out what you guys act like when there aren’t any girls around and I really didn’t like what I saw.

What I saw made me wish I wasn’t attracted to men. Unfortunately, I have no control over that.

I wanted more than anything is to be in a loving relationship with a good guy, but after all I saw at that school I don’t think that’s possible because I don’t know how to follow all these ridiculous rules. I give up. I’ll never be good enough for any of you.

You hold us to impossible double standards. You complain about women playing mind games but then you make it so that we have to. What do you fucking want from us?



.

#r/offmychest

[roffmychest]

I cannot deal with several of my mom's friends. I'm nearly an adult, and I am living with my mom until I go to university next year. She has a few friends (both on and offline) that I cannot deal with. I know why this is, and it's for several reasons. Number one: I am a bit antisocial. During the week, I am surrounded by a lot of people and stress. I have social anxiety, and am a transgender man in a small town. It isn't exactly fun for me to be anywhere that people are. So, naturally, my mother's friends (who are usually VERY peopley and, sometimes, uncomfortably touchy) freak me the fuck out. Number two (and what I think might be the actual source of this) is that when I was younger, my mom had a friend that was very energetic. Once she drunk drove my (also drunk) mother and I home (it was not home. she hit a curb several times and slurred at us to walk down the driveway [it was not our house, she got slightly agressive about it though]). Another time (after this understandably fucking traumatic experience) she stole one of my toys. I was MAYBE nine years old. My mother justified it for some reason, and still does. Says that she was attatched to it. I think maybe that my mother's friends have pervasively bad vibes. She befriends a very specific type of person, and that person 99% of the time icks me out.

.

#r/offmychest

[roffmychest]

my dad is cheating on my mom for the third time (though i doubt he ever really stopped after the last time he was caught/admitted it) and all my siblings and i know, but my mom thinks that things are getting better. i can't say anything because i'm scared for my safety if i do.

i stupidly hope that one day he'll stop and just love what he has here, but i know it's never going to happen. and i don't want him to just get away with it all. i'm so angry at him but i have to pretend i don't know. that i love him. that it's easy to be around him. i have no path forward. i'm stuck here.

i've done everything i can to make a life for myself and i always fucking end up back here with them. trapped in this awful web of lies. i love my mom so much. how can i do this to her? how can i keep this secret? how have i kept it for so long? what's fucking wrong with me?

.

#r/offmychest

[roffmychest]

i have a friend who has spent upwards of 100 dollars in total on giving me gifts and i hate it. don't get me wrong i have an insane amount of gratitude towards them and i will forever appreciate it but i feel awful every time they do. i know i shouldn't and that gifts are *gifts* and aren't meant to be returned but i feel terrible that i can't do much for them back. i just kind of wish i could tell them that talking to them and being around them is enough of a gift for me

.

#r/offmychest

[roffmychest]

i feel like no one cares about covid anymore and it's scary

.

#r/offmychest

[roffmychest]

as an afab person with a high sex drive I feel disgusting. yes I’m a trans man on T but I don’t have a fucking natal penis so I’ve got no business being this way. feels predatory. ishouldn’t actually want sex and im a disgusting skank for having a higher sex drive than my boyfriend. i want it all the time, daily. he only gets in the mood every so often. this was a problem before T but it got worse. im a nasty nymphomaniac who lost my virginity at 19 before marriage. only reason it wasn’t earlier was because i was homeschooled and pretty isolated. i feel like a sicko.

.

#r/offmychest

[roffmychest]

i feel like a lot of people are getting annoyed with the symptoms of my mental illnesses lately and it's getting worse to endure. they never say it like that but i notice people get annoyed with how tired i am or when i panic over having to talk to or even go near someone i dont know or how bad my fear of contamination n bugs n germs is and the things i have to do avoid it or. idk i cant think of any other examples but i try so hard to keep it to myself i've completely hidden panic attacks on multiple occasions but it's so hard to do and it's just not worth it anymore but i don't want to bother anyone. it's starting to feel more and more like i feel like a nuisance for feeling like a nuisance

.

#r/offmychest

[roffmychest]

I'm not human. there's something fundamentally incorrect. I lack the needed humanity needed to function. if I was human, I could help others. I could work. I could love in the way others love. if God cleanses your heart, what will he do about the stone in the center of mine? will he remove it forcefully? will the stone disappear? will I stay something inhuman, disgusting, vile? will he recognize me? have I destroyed myself?

.

#r/offmychest

[roffmychest]

I keep feeling like I'm not enriching my friends' lives. I keep thinking I should just quietly remove myself from their lives, and just have no friends.

I don't think I'm the type of person who deserves to be around and interact with others, and I know at least one friend semi-agrees with that.

.

#r/offmychest

[roffmychest]

i made a guy (20) who hit on me (13) (he had that knowledge and a picture of me 😞) attempt to kill himself through me and my sister cyberbullying him so bad abt it. the guilt wrecks me every time i hear about him and/or see someone who types like him!!!! I am also naseous. i was in his suicide note 😭

.

#r/offmychest