sadsongsandwaltzes

[sadsongsandwaltzes]

This is the type of thing that happens when you completely and utterly sever the relationship between mental and physical health:

#you are a prosperity teacher #and a heretic

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I am not a psychologist so I have no clue if this is just my own crackpot theory or what. And my apologies if I’m speaking out of my ass here.

We were not made for a fallen world. We were made for Eden. Since we have to live in this world corrupted by sin, the brain does what it has to in order to survive.

A toddler doesn’t know what “hot” means, until one day you warn the child not to touch a plate because it’s “hot,” they touch anyways, they feel the sting, and now they understand what “hot” means. The brain, now acknowledging this is something that can be a threat, has an immediate response to “hot.” Anytime someone says “hot,” we immediately recoil and make sure we don’t touch whatever is believed to be hot. The brain is simply trying to survive.

I think there’s a similar thing happening with trauma response. It’s the brain doing the same thing, but to such an extreme degree that it’s almost impossible to function. If someone survives a near fatal car crash, they may panic when they go near a car. Why? Because the brain has learned this thing to be an immediate and serious threat. The brain is now trained to fear and recoil. If you lived in a war zone and learned to sleep with one eye open so to speak, the brain is now trained to sense danger at every turn, especially when you’re in such a vulnerable state as sleep. You’re living in a constant state of anxiety because you expect a fatal threat. It’s why sudden noises and movements can trigger anxiety.

The brain is doing what it does. It adapts to perceived threats for survival. This heightened state of anxiety is deemed necessary by the brain, but we were not made to live in such a state. We cant. So the brain is, ironically, slowly killing itself. The brain is rewired and burned out and always looking for that next serious threat. It’s always reminding us that the threat looms. It’s where the subconscious lives. It’s why there’s constant anxiety, why there’s nightmares.

Of course, this can be exacerbated if the trauma is accompanied by severe grief or guilt.

This brings me to my point. If you would not tell someone to just pray the cancer away, I don’t think you can tell them to just pray the trauma away. We’re talking about a real physiological problem happening.

I think grief and guilt can be assuaged by the gospel. But the brain’s inner working itself? It’s a medical problem the same as any other. God absolutely can heal trauma same as cancer, but sometimes he doesn’t. Faith can absolutely bring about peace in hardships and give us the strength to carry on, but it’s not a guarantee that God will remove the hardship. That would be prosperity gospel.

And with all of this we can also recognize that certain treatments or habits may help relieve symptoms without fully curing, it exists on a medical spectrum.

And I think this is true about a lot of mental illness.

For the record, I think most mental illness in modern America is actually spiritual illness. And I think most psychologists are looney tunes. But people abusing a certain field of study and being stupid and misdiagnosing doesn’t negate the field of study as a whole.

If every sick person who walks into a doctors office no matter the symptoms gets diagnosed with cancer, it means the doctor is a quack and we have a problem of over diagnosis of a disease. But it doesn’t mean the disease isn’t real and that a certain percentage of the population doesn’t actually suffer from it. That would be a downright foolish thought.

Hormones, brain function, all of it can affect the mind. The brain is a complex organ. We still can’t fully understand it. And I don’t think we ever will. We know the brain can affect the mind. If it didn’t, people with TBIs would never suffer from sudden mental illness or personality shifts.

It seems wholly unchristian to deny the reality of both our body and the fallen state of the world.

#I mean we can debate treatments and that all day #I for one think exposure therapy goes a lot further than talk therapy most of the time #because if the brain is wired wrongly #we need to actively rewire it #and certain things come about not because of a certain event #but by birth #just like someone might be born with a hole in their heart #it’s possible for someone to be born with a brain not functioning right #but these are all a million different rabbit trails #but boy I am tired of the ‘just be a good Christian and you won’t have problems’ #mindset of MacArthur and crew

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This does bring forth a question about the worth of remaining connected to the mother country or land of origin, as we understand it.

Does it matter to care about the country (as a nation) your ancestors came from when you have no stake in the game? And really, does a specific chunk of land and the governing forces on that land really matter, considering throughout history borders have shifted, governments have changed, people have migrated?

Do you believe you can uphold the legacy and culture of your ancestors regardless of the piece of land on which you stand?

#no really this is fascinating #and it seems we hold whatever ‘home land’ to be whatever the placement happened to be at the time of departure #and cling to it when you reach immigrant/displaces status #for example 6/8 great grandparents are Scandinavian #one is English one is German #the German grandmother we still debate if she should be considered German or Austrian #because… land changes. #land is land and belongs to the current conqueror #of course land does play a big part in culture #cuz many tenants come about by the land (what resources you have in any given place) #it also makes sense why I am the way I am #my ancestors lived in a northern country and were whiter than snow #I am not made for sun! I am made for cold! #I have a fair complexion. #idk us humans have a need to know who we are #where we came from #why we are how we are #but I think part of me thinks we don’t really know and can’t ever know #like. am I to assume my Scandinavian ancestors were Scandinavian from the beginning of time until they came to America? #I mean I make the assumption cuz we have to make conclusions on the little info we got #but when you consider the whole of human history and much migration has happened #… idk #I think we’d all be shocked if we really knew from the beginning of time until now

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Honestly, I think culture is most defined by what’s… there. Simple as.

Which is why you can participate in and feel part of a culture that is separate from your own heritage.

This is a very American-centric understanding of things as we are the great melting pot, but with that in mind, I think it is fair to say:

Heritage carries distinct cultures, but culture is not defined by heritage

#and while still loving your heritage and that distinct culture as well

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This is a very American-centric understanding of things as we are the great melting pot, but with that in mind, I think it is fair to say:

Heritage carries distinct cultures, but culture is not defined by heritage

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And why do you assume that I don’t?

There are remnants of the past that remain. We still sing Norwegian hymns at Christmas and eat Norwegian food (well… the stuff that’s good anyways). We have rosemaling art. We learn about our ancestors. We hold onto in practice what brings us joy (like good food) but let go of everything else.

Why?

Because I don’t have a connection to it. Norway is not my country. I have never been there. I don’t know anybody there. I have my own country’s Independence Day to celebrate. I’m not against celebrating syttende Mai, I just feel no obligation to it or care to go out of my way for it. But I am very proud of those who came before me and the uniqueness of their own culture, as I think everyone should be.

But with syttende Mai in particular, there is a giant barrier that comes up between my great grandparents generation and my grandparents generation that seems to have made my grandparents the last to have any sort of connection or loyalty to Norway, as a country.

My grandparents grew up hearing their parents and grandparents (if they were around) speak Norwegian, but they never learned it themselves because their parents refused to teach them the old language. Because “you’re American, you speak English.” The immigrants mindset of respect to their new country put them in a position to force their children into assimilation at the cost of their own heritage in some ways. So my grandparents grew up with exposure to the language. They saw their parents send Christmas cards to the family still overseas. They had a secondhand tie to the old country, but because this barrier was put up by their parents, they didn’t really learn it, which means they had no ties to pass to their children (my parents generation).

Of course certain families might still celebrate syttende mai. I think bigger towns might have a celebration. Idk. But I do think it’s worth noting the difference between holding onto the art and such of a country vs holding onto… the actual country. This is where the difference lies. I have a sense of loyalty to my family that came before me, but I don’t have a sense of loyalty to the country from which they came. And it would be quite delusional of me to pretend that I did. The family ties are too distant and severed at this point to pretend like I know any distant relatives that are over there. I don’t know the language besides small words or phrases you pick up on. I don’t have a sense of loyalty to Norway. As far as that goes, I have a sense of loyalty to my own countrymen. That would be Americans.

I don’t feel indifferent about my ancestors and who they were. but I do feel indifferent about Norway itself. What’s my connection to it? My home is in South Dakota.

But of course, this opens the door for a philosophical discussion about what it means to “be” something? What does it mean to be Norwegian? I mean I tell people that I am when discussing heritage, or when trying to explain certain cultural phenomena that has remained, but I’m not Norwegian in that sense that I’m actually from Norway. So we can talk circles about this forever. By my connection to Norway is incredibly abstract and exists in history. It shows up in my Christmas traditions, in my fair skin. It shows up in my values (hello Scandinavian stoicism).

But yeah. It’s a question of identity. I don’t identify with actual* Norwegians anymore.

*live there, speak the language, have at least visited there, have any tangible connection to the country at all in any way shape or form

I guess it could be summed up that my grandma thinks of herself as American First, Norwegian Second. I only think of myself as American. My Norwegian identity exists in a more abstract sense.

Syttende Mai is on Friday this year

#and tbh #I don’t think my great grandparents would care #considering they WANTED their children to identify with American culture #the only reason they celebrated syttende Mai #was cuz they had a reason to care about the country itself #because they either lived their themselves #or they knew close family there

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lol remember when I was like 19 and got really drunk one night and woke up to a whole bunch of emails from ancestry dot com cuz apparently my drunken self had an intense need to research?

anyways who would like to donate to my ancestry fund

#feeling the itch again to learn my ancestors #who they were and all that #both my grandmas have giant books #of written records of family #but that only goes so far #and is often skewed

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Is there an actual sociological study on this? I’m curious

Syttende Mai is on Friday this year

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This is a fun case study of identity tho.

The 70 yr olds of Norwegian descent love to celebrate this holiday. I am merely aware of it.

For the silent/boomer generations, it was either their own parents or grandparents who came to America. Those immigrants took their culture seriously and celebrated Syttende mai as it was important to them, first hand. The older boomers remember this and had it instilled in them.

Each passing generation cares less and less as we identify less with our great grandparents country of origin and identify more with our own.

Grandma celebrates syttende mai. I don’t because I simply do not care.

So I guess it takes about… four generations to feel disconnected from The Old Country?

Syttende Mai is on Friday this year

[sadsongsandwaltzes]

Syttende Mai is on Friday this year

#the 70 year old Norwegians are gonna get rowdy this year lol

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Oh wow. I think I figured out my hair. As simple as wetting it, putting in my curl cream, braiding it and sleeping in it. 10/10 my hair looks like controlled waves and voluminous but not frizzy or like a rats nest. It actually looks pretty. And no heat or expensive products.

WHY didn’t I try this sooner

Probably cuz all the curly girls told me I couldn’t do anything at all ever with wet hair. Liars.

#the CGM is a SCAM. #permanently ruined my scalp #when you all made me fear sulfates #and use your gunky shampoo all the time

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It’s also more practical cuz you don’t have to spend 18 million hours with endless blending and trying to make the most precise, intricate eyeliner wing known to man

I learned how to do my makeup in like 2015 when gaudy glam makeup was a thing, so I’m trying to rework it more into a late 60s glam thing cuz I think it simply looks better

[sadsongsandwaltzes]

I learned how to do my makeup in like 2015 when gaudy glam makeup was a thing, so I’m trying to rework it more into a late 60s glam thing cuz I think it simply looks better

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[sadsongsandwaltzes]

I asked my mum how she has managed to get our family, of 8 children, to church every single week since I have been alive, and this is what she said, very paraphrased.

“You have to go. You don’t decide to go. You take the decision out of it and know that you’re going to go every time. It’s hard but you do it. You fight the zippers and bows and laces and spit on the shoes to get the scuffs and scratches out. You brush messy hair and ignore whining and you throw bread in their hands and tell them that’s what they can eat on the way. If it’s hot you bring water, if it’s wet you bring an umbrella, if it’s windy you bring scarves and if it’s snowing bring heavy coats. You go by car, by train, by bus, on foot, you just have to go.

You need it and they need it. They need to experience the mysteries of God, and so do you. You need to do it together as a family. But if you only go sometimes, if every weekend it’s a question if you will go or not go, then they’re going to see church and religion optional. It’s not. We don’t go to church to see people and have a nice time, we go to church to live.” 

#we go to receive word and sacrament #that which sustains us in faith #it’s not an option. you just do it. #which ties into my post about having a strong mindset #the people who succeed are those who don’t question how to succeed #they just do it. whatever it may be.

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You are hereby not allowed an opinion on animals unless you’ve lived/worked on an actual working farm or ranch for at least five years and actually understand the nature of animals and how to read them

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