sammansonn

[sammansonn]

what if you’re giving birth to twins and it’s the end of daylights savings day and the older twin was born first but the second twin travels back in time and is born an hour before the first twin, would that be fucked up or what.

[sammansonn]

(in a job interview) i guess if i had to say my one strength it would be skipping the ad break on a podcast episode on the first try. yeah there's no button i just guess the number of minutes and i'm always right. oh you meant like work strengths? none

[sammansonn]

if i was sisyphus id eat a bit of dirt off the slope every time on my way up until the slope is no longer steep enough for the boulder to roll down. it would be end of suffering in 47 days

[sammansonn]

I didn’t miss that social cue I just thought it was stupid 

[sammansonn]

guy who has tons of rizz when it's on his terms but if anyone tries to flirt with him he freezes and hits them with the prey animal stare

#fr

[sammansonn]

reblog if you prioritize women to the point you mock people for liking m/f or m/m ships. im insane

[sammansonn]

sometimes a song will come on shuffle that i'm not emotionally prepared to listen to and i nearly scream in terror and reach for my phone in a similar state of desperation as the final girl in a horror movie reaches for a shard of glass on the floor in a last ditch effort to defeat the killer

[sammansonn]

you wouldn’t last an hour in the asylum where they raised me

[sammansonn]

there should be a socially acceptable way to say "im not sure what to say to that. can you say something different"

[sammansonn]

yesterday I saw a parked car with a bumper sticker that read “my other horse is a ghost” and I haven’t stopped thinking about it since

[sammansonn]

Even without words, we communicate through our eyes.

[sammansonn]

[sammansonn]

remember when u were like 11 and the only thing u wanted was a lava lamp

[sammansonn]

The weirdest guy I ever met in a church was this boy who referred to “Buzz Aldrin and his husband” going to the moon. I was completely baffled, and when I asked if he’d misspoken, he got really angry and accused me of being deliberately ignorant of the facts. It turned out that he was somehow comvinced that Buzz Aldrin and Neil Armstrong were married. It took five Wikipedia articles to convince him otherwise.

[sammansonn]

we were meant to live slowly!!!! we were meant to savor moments and feel unabashedly lazy and frolic and smell the flowers and laugh with our entire hearts and love with our entire souls!!!!! don’t ever feel guilty for resting!!!!!! don’t ever feel guilty for slowing down!!!!!! enjoying life shouldn’t be something you’re ashamed of

[sammansonn]

the mortifying ordeal of Sending First Message

[sammansonn]

Get to know Olivia Cooke in 60 seconds via The Sunday Times Style on Instagram