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Toddler

Parenting Challenge: Rejjie is three years old now and he spends a lot of time with his older cousins who play violent video games and watch tevevision shows that contain violence and aggression. According to the AACAP, the impact that this violent media could have on Rejjie is that he could begin to accept violence as a way to solve problems, and he might imitate the violence that he observes. Babies can be affected even when their home life shows no tendency toward violence. (https://www.aacap.org/aacap/families_and_youth/facts_for_families/fff-guide/children-and-tv-violence-013.aspx) 

Also, video games can be addictive because they give immediate rewards for learning. Child and adolescent brains are typically susceptible to addictions as our brains are under development until our mid 20s. 

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/moral-landscapes/201011/playing-violent-video-games-good-or-bad

There are long term effects of violent media: According to psychologist Dr. Brad Bushman, “playing video games could be compared to smoking cigarettes. A single cigarette won’t cause lung cancer, but smoking over weeks or months or years greatly increases the risk. In the same way, repeated exposure to violent video games may have a cumulative effect on aggression.”

I decided to talk to Rejjie’s cousins parents, inform them of the negative impacts of video games, and work with them to integrate less violent video games into their children’s lives. I also made sure that Rejjie’s cousins would no longer be allowed to play violent video games or watch violent TV with Rejjie. 

https://psychcentral.com/news/2012/12/11/negative-effects-of-violent-video-games-may-build-over-time/48918.html

As a solution, I talked to Rejjie’s cousin’s parents. We decided to have a new rule that there can be no partaking in violent video games or TV while Rejjie is present. I can’t prevent Rejjie from playing these games later on in life, but while he’s developing in his early childhood years I won’t expose him to them.

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Here is Rejjie at one year holding mom's hand. He's all snuggled up in his favorite blanket wearing his favorite shiny onesie! :)

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Infancy (age 0-1)

Rejjie was born on March 6, 2019! He had no health defects and came into the world quick and easy. He was eight pounds.

I chose to breastfeed Rejjie for 2 years with the intent of introducing him to formula at six months and gradually increasing his intake of formula as time continued.

Rejjie has gone through so many heartwarming milestones in his first year: 

When he was nearing the end of being one month old, he began to make funny, jerky little arm movements. He was also moving his head back and forth ever so slightly and putting his hands on his face. I also noticed that he was responding to loud noises much than he previously had, and I could just start to tell when something startled him. 

When Rejjie reached the end of two months, he was smiling, tracking objects with his eyes, and making noises other than crying (which I greatly appreciated). He even started to make the vowel noise “oo” which was very exciting. 

By the end of month three, Rejjie was opening and closing his fists, imitating sounds, grasping my finger much more firmly, and noticeably developing better hand-eye coordination. 

At the end of four months, Rejjie slept six hours in a row! He amused himself by babbling and then smiling at the noises that came out of his mouth. He could finally sit up with my support, and His crying was not always aimless anymore: he sometimes cried to communicate pain, fear, loneliness or discomfort. (Of course he was never uncomfortable or fearful to a dangerous extent. If a loud noise occurred or he felt a little uncomfortable in his pajamas he would cry and I would comfort him.)

At the end of five months, the only differences that I noticed were that he was beginning to teeth and that his vision was better: he could see across his entire room! 

At the end of six months, Rejjie was opening his mouth for his spoon, drinking from a cup (with my help), holding a bottle (I introduced him to formula at this time and he seemed to like it), copying some facial expressions, and making two-syllable sounds. 

By the end of month seven Rejjie could self-feed some finger foods, make wet razzing sounds, turn in the direction of a voice, play peekaboo, and imitate more sounds. Best of all, he said his first word: “ma-ma”! 

At the end of eight months, Rejjie began chewing on objects, reaching for utensils when being fed, turning his head away when done eating, sleeping around 11 hours a night with 1-2 naps during the day, sitting up all on his own, and responding to his name! 

Not much changed at the end of nine months, but I did notice that Rejjie began to identify and somewhat recognize his reflection in the mirror which was cute. 

At the end of ten months old, Rejjie began standing (with my help) and transferring his toys from one hand to the other. 

At the end of eleven months old, Rejjie seemed to fully understand the concept of ‘no’, and he learned to wave goodbye.

Now, in the present, at the end of twelve exciting months, Rejjie’s weight has tripled. He now weighs twenty four pounds! At this age, he is begging to crawl very well and he has started to bop his head and move his arms to the beat of music. He loves to pull of his hat and socks which has proved to be both cute and irritating. He also is very attached to his green blanket which we take everywhere with us. 

I made several difficult parenting decisions in Rejjie’s first year. One such decision was whether or not I wanted to have another baby, at the present or in the future. Having a sibling can not only, “boost mental health and physical fitness, but strong social ties may help you live longer, according to research published in the journal PLoS Medicine. On average, those with poor social connections died about 7.5 years earlier than those with solid bonds to friends and family.” (https://www.realsimple.com/work-life/family/benefits-of-siblings) Also, “[n]ew research suggests that having a sibling may help children develop sympathy. Researchers examined the relationship between siblings in more than 300 families and found having a quality relationship with a brother or sister may promote altruism in teens, especially boys.” (Same website) Rejjie is a boy, and having siblings myself, I feel that he would benefit form having a little sister or brother. But the fact of the matter is that babies are very costly, time consuming, and Rejjie takes up all of my attention. I have decided that in five years, I will have another baby and I feel that they will be close enough in age to develop a very strong bond as they grow up together.

Other challenges I faced were being a single parent (and dealing with the exhausting new habit of getting up every night), but Rejjie’s uncle and aunt took great care of him and they sometimes went to him at night when he would cry and wake everyone up. I let them do this in order to keep myself healthy, mentally and physically - I know how important sleep is. 

Lastly, I struggled with TV time. Many parents nowadays stick their children in front of TV screens, but I don’t feel that this benefits Rejjie in any way. I held a strict no TV policy for Rejjie’s first year, and I will continue to not allow TV until further notice. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends keeping all screens off and away from babies younger than a year and a half, and so I might step up and plan on not allowing TV for 2 years. 

Parenting is going well. Rejjie is healthy, happy, and he grows more and more with each passing day. 

(I was absent Monday and Tuesday, so I never received a parenting scenario)

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Here is Rejjie at 20 weeks!

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Pregnancy

Hi, my name is Sierra Goodfriend. I just found out that I am going to be having a beautiful baby boy. His name will be Rejjie Ibi Goodfriend. I chose the name Rejjie because it is the name of one of my favorite artists: a man named Rejjie Snow who is extremely talented. Ibi was my grandfather’s name. Sadly, I never got to meet him, but the stories I have heard about him and his life are wonderful and happy. I want the legacy of Rejjie snow and the happiness of my grandfather Ibi to be a part of my son. 

Rejjie is my biological child!

When I became pregnant, I looked into the prenatal development of babies. I learned that my baby began as a zygote: a eukaryotic cell formed by a fertilization event between two gametes. Interestingly enough, the zygote's genome is a combination of the DNA in each gamete, and contains all of the genetic information necessary to form a new individual. The zygote entered a 2-week period of rapid cell division and developed into an embryo. The outer cells became the placenta: an organ that grews in my uterus and helped to remove waste products from Rejjie’s blood while supplying him with oxygen and nutrients. The placenta grew and developed until the end of the second month of my pregnancy. In the next 6 weeks, Rejjie’s body organs began to form and function, and by 9 weeks, he was recognizably human! 

During prenatal development, I did not consume alcohol or take any drugs that could have harmed little Rejjie. I have been very responsible in my pregnancy, but with Rejjie being a boy, I still worry. I recently learned that men are 4 times more likely to die by suicide or develop alcohol dependence. In addition, men are more likely to have childhood diagnosis of autism spectrum disorder, color-blindness, or ADHD. Lastly, men are more at risk for antisocial personality disorder. If Rejjie has any sort of diagnosis, I will love him just the same. I will parent him wisely in an attempt to prevent any addiction or mental illness, although I know that these things are sometimes beyond my control as a mother. 

At the beginning, the common symptoms I had like morning sickness and my newfound aversion to food were not easy adversities to overcome, but there have been several milestones in Rejjie’s prenatal development that have made it all worth it. When I was 8 weeks pregnant, my doctor helped me to hear his heartbeat for the first time. It was a magical moment for me as a mother. 21 weeks into my pregnancy, Rejjie kicked for the first time! It felt funny, but it was a very happy reminder that he was in there, alive and well. I waited until 24 weeks in before I received the ultrasound to find out Rejjie’s gender. I was so happy to find out that he was a baby boy. These milestones were all individually unforgettable. 

I am going to be a single parent. Rejjie’s father is not in the picture, and I hope that this doesn’t affect Rejjie’s development and ability to attach to me. He will have five people at home looking after him and loving him unconditionally, so I hope that he will be fine. The biggest challenge for me as a parent is probably going to be adjusting to life with a baby. I know that I am resilient and will be able to structure my life around Rejjie, but I know several women who have suffered from postpartum depression and the thought scares me. Luckily, I have my family’s full support and I am ready to take on being a mom!

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Our Family Description!

I am a pregnant, single, employed mother who is excited to introduce my baby to the world. At home, the baby will have an aunt, an uncle, a grandma, and a grandpa to give him lots of love and affection and, if needed, babysit. The baby will also have me, its dedicated mother. We have two cats and a dog, and they are very safe, mellow animals that are all up to date on their vaccinations. Our home is clean and cozy, and securely baby proofed! As the sixth member of our family, the baby will be welcomed into a loving, nurturing environment.