skinnty-legend-blog

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food log day 1

03.14.19

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intake:

06:00 1 smoke - 0 cal (lol)

09:00 coffee creamer - *150 cal

12:00 coffee creamer - *150 cal

14:00 2 smokes - 0 cal

14:30 1 diet soda - 0 cal

18:00 pad thai - **900 cal

*i had two 8ish oz coffees today with a little bit of creamer? but idk how much. i seriously doubt i’ve had 300 cal worth of creamer, but its better to overestimate, even if its excessively so

**i actually havent eaten this yet — im gonna eat it for dinner when i get home from studying. my mom ordered this from me from some local restaurant yesterday, so its no doubt high cal. bc of this ill try not to eat a lot. i probably wont eat 900 cal worth of it (i dont think there even is 900 cal worth of it left), but, again, better to overestimate.

total: ~1200 cal ✅

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im studying at the library rn and am just taking a quick break to write this. oh my god im so exhausted. not as in physically sleepy (though that too), but just from life haha. ive started restricting again, though, and as weird and bad and probably unhealthy as it sounds, it really does help me feel more secure. im pretty sure thats a common motivation. anyways im excited to see how the next week will go in terms of that. but as far as life goes. school has been stressing me out a lot. i have to keep my gpa above a 3.0 in order to redeem my select college’s offer. this shouldn’t be difficult, but senioritis is hitting me like a bus, haha. ive barely done any homework or studying the past few weeks and im definitely paying for it. hopefully though the restriction and stress will help out with getting me back on track. besides just general grades, though, i’ve been struggling a lot in my english class. not that its the class itself causing me problems — its actually one of my best subjects. its just that this semester we’re focusing on creative writing. i like writing, but its sort of a guilty pleasure (?) of mines. im great at academic writing, but i always get insecure about my own writing. its not something i do very often — im oftentimes too insecure to read my own writing, myself — so me being so out of practice definitely doesnt help. also, my moms a writer, so i definely feel some additional pressure to make sure my work is going above expectations. she’ll be disappointed in me tor my current writing skills. plus, i really like my english teacher. hes young and similar to me i think and has a good taste in music and passionate about writing and passonate about his students and i really admire him for it. dont think he pays me very much mind however. but regardless because i look up to him so much i feel as if i cant turn in anything substandard. or even just average. because of this i havent turned in our first creative writing assigment. its been a day from being a week since it was first due. im going to work on it and turn it in today regardless of how much mental anguish im in. ill try explaining what i just wrote to him when i see him tomorrow. at least the insecure-about-my-writing part. theres a lot more that i can talk about but ive already used up a lot of my studying time typing this out. the quicker i get my work done the quicker i can go home and the quicker i can eat and the quicker i can play red dead and the quicker i can sleep and the quicker i can wake up and the quicker i can do my makeup and the quicker i can have another smoke and the quicker i can say good morning to my english teacher and the quicker he might say good morning back and the quicker i can get back to my paintings and the quicker i can hang out with my friends and thw quicker i can restrict and the quicker i can lose weight and the quicker i can feel better about myself. wow typing that whole thing out actually motivated me a little. and here i was just stalling. anyways. ill write more again tomorrow.

#food log

[skinnty-legend-blog]

more plant thinspo hehe I rlly like this idea ty for requesting @skinnytmro

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[skinnty-legend-blog]

‘You cant just not eat’

My ed: bet

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[skinnty-legend-blog]

repeat after me my desire to be thin is stronger than my wish to eat.

[skinnty-legend-blog]

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[skinnty-legend-blog]

[skinnty-legend-blog]

new account

i havent used tumblr for over a year i think but since im relapsing i think itd be a good (bad) idea to make a new one. pls pls pls send me rec ana accounts or like this post w ur own so i can follow :) ill be posting food logs and body checks as soon as i get everything else set up!!!

also, i used to be in an ana whatsapp group chat — if anyone seeing this has that, pls send me the invite link!! Id love to join :)

#ana #mia #proana #promia #i forgot what the other ed tags are oops #also sorry not sorry for the tag spam