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Hear me out. A vampire pred who is usually well mannered and polite that enjoys eating cute/pretty nurses more than anything, just going out one night and stuffing as many nurses as they can into their hungry belly. And a big belch slipping out along with their belt snapping.

i've been sitting here wondering "why nurses specifically?" and then it hit me that nurses typically draw blood for people, so they'd be pretty reasonable to target if you're a really hungry vampire

[slugbugda]

"Well well...lookee here~! An univited guest."

You hadn't expected that lazy looking pirate to move so quickly. Thinking you could sneak by while you raided the ship's stores, you now dangled from his hook as he studied you with an amused expression. "What do you think you're doing on my ship, bud?"

You don't respond, instead kicking at the air. He chuckled, you could smell sweet alcohol on his breath. "Now, I don't take too kindly to little stowaways...but I can't say I've ever had a guest like you. You're so small...it'd be a real shame to just toss you out, wouldn't you say?"

You'd feel inclined to agree but something about the glint in his eye told you he had something up his sleeve. "How's about I make you a VIP, bud? We Twinhooks treat our guests real well, so I'm sure you'll love how we handle VIPs! Heh, you're real lucky it was me and not the captain that found you...here, lemme show you to your lodgings."

Expecting to be let down, you found your captor leaning back in his seat and lifting you over his face. His lips parted and warm breath tickled your legs- he was planning on eating you! Suddenly being kicked out was a lot more preferable, but he was already lowering your body into his mouth. It closed around your lower half, leaving you to wriggle helplessly and push against his face to pull yourself free. A smile spread beneath you, and he chuckled. Apparently your struggle was amusing to him, and he was content to hold you there for a moment while he sampled your flavor. It felt like you were held there forever when he tilted his head back more, suddenly gulping and pulling your lower half into his throat! This pulled you into his mouth, and your world went dark.

The pirate's tongue lapped against you briefly, which was enough to distract you from trying to get free. A deep gulp rung our beneath you, then another- you were a bit bigger than what he was used to, and it took more work to get you down. Fully encased in his throat, all you could do is squirm helplessly as the slick muscles constricted you and pulled you deeper. His heartbeat boomed around you as swallows urged you to your final destination, and his stomach very noisily greeted you as you slid inside. He must've had something to drink before you, but thankfully it didn't take up too much of your already cramped space. Immediately kicking and struggling around, you were only met with quiet laughter and some pats from above.

"Hahah, you were well worth the work, bud! Tell me, what does VIP stand for again? Very Ingestible Person?" He laughed, burping a little and massaging your form as his stomach burbled around you. "Enjoy that guest room of yours! A flavor like that's worth its weight in gold~"

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They had been pretty lucky thus far- evading claws that tried to snatch them up, jaws that tried to trap them within, and hungry predators that saw an easy mark. Today wasn't one of those victorious days.

Swiftly, before they could react, a hand snatched them out of their hiding spot. "There you are..." A voice growled from above. "Did you think I wouldn't find you in my own home?" You're face to face with your captor, a smug smirk on their face as they studied you. "I must say, I admire your boldness...but your luck has just ran out, my little morsel. That chase worked up an appetite, and I have a friend that's very eager to meet you..."

They grinned, flashing their teeth as they patted their stomach. Their prey wriggled in their grip, struggling to get free. "N-no! You can't do this!" "Oh, but I can! What's a cute little thing like you going to do about it? Squeak for help?" The predator laughed, lifting them up above their mouth. "It'll be much easier for you to just accept your fate as food...now, so long~"

They opened their mouth wide, dropping the tiny into their mouth and swiftly closing their jaws around them. They could feel them fighting against their tongue as it sampled them, squirming against their confines as they tilted their head back...and swallowed. All that fight was for nothing as they sent that squirmy lump to their stomach. "Ahh, there we go...you're all mine~ Maybe I should've let you call for help? Seconds sounds wonderful right now..."

They felt their little snack enter their stomach, shoving around as the walls apparently closed in. They waited a few moments before speaking again. "...w-was that good? I've never really done anything like that before. Was that enough menace?"

[slugbugda]

He is 15% of the population if you ask me .

[slugbugda]

there's a kind of person called a "bad person" and if we just kill all of those guys everything will be great

[slugbugda]

Preds with Southern accents calling their Prey things like "Sugar" or "Hun".

That's it that's the post.

[slugbugda]

Fourteen's just hanging out with the Mott-Temple-Nobles, sipping tea and leisurely debating gardening plans when the whomp-whomp of another Tardis sounds.

They all turn to see Fifteen's Tardis materialize. The door flies open, Fifteen pokes his head out.

"HEAL BETTER!" He yells before slamming the door and materializes away.

Everyone blinks.

"More tea?" Sylvia asks.

It's a typical Tuesday.

[slugbugda]

btw i think if you tried to explain politics to Winnie the Pooh he wouldn't really get it & then if you went on explaining he'd be like 'why can't we all just be nice to each other' and you'd be like you got me there Pooh. I just don't know. :(

[slugbugda]

the book and radio good omens will always have a special place in my heart. the comedy is truly amped up to a billion. the running elvis joke, the extra horsemen giving themselves names, r.p. tyler drafting letters to the council and giving awful directions, and the silly reaction to the paint guns. it's just so funny

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Something I love from the book is that when Crowley traps Hastur in the answering machine, he genuinely considers taking the tape and leaving it in his car so that it turns into Queen.

He decides this is too cruel a fate. This is right after he has killed Ligur with a bucket of holy water. Agonisingly melting? That's cool, but becoming a Queen track is too far.

[slugbugda]

Also quick Ace Day doodle for you!! :D

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vampire kyle bc its the spooky month

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that goddamn redraw

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Sanrio :3

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tweek thrives in pe class cause its a good way to get all his energy out and craigs a fucking loser who refuses to take his hat off and constantly complains about doing anything

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[slugbugda]

Today Aziraphale was reading while Crowley took a nap. Aziraphale heard Crowley shiver, so he laid a blanket out over his demon and tucked him in with a kiss to his forehead.