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soul-music-is-life · 4 months

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At this point I'm just...

I tried so hard to leave the negativity behind. I was happy...genuinely optimistic that if I just very quietly tiptoed into 2024, everything would be okay.

I not only wanted it. I needed it.

I was an idiot to have that hope. I know better than to dream.

My life is a battle I lose a little each day.

Less than 30 minutes into 2024 I got a message from a toxic family member that suggests I'm a problem, and that they "hope I will let them into their life this year."

This is someone who mentally and emotionally abused me. This is someone who tried to gaslight me.

This is someone whose behavior was hurting me to the point that my only way out was just simply to not exist in this world anymore.

This is someone who yells and says my generation is lazy and entitled and doesn't work enough....then turns around and says that I am working too much and I don't care about family.

I don't know how to respond anymore.

"I'm sorry that I live paycheck to paycheck. I'm sorry I can't just drop everything to hang out whenever you feel like it. Because if I miss one paycheck I'll be out on the street. Again."

I am barely holding on to the the thread of my life.

When he sent that message he knew what it would do to me. And I hate him for it.

When he does this he does it because he knows his behavior will hurt. He knows I will feel like a child looking for mommy to hold her hand. But mommy is gone. And Dad is excellent at making me feel like I'm a failure or that everything is my fault.

I've cried more these first 3 days of the New Year than all of last year combined.

I can't do another year of this. I just can't.

I got nothing left.

#Life #2024 New Years #Mental Health #family trauma

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soul-music-is-life · 5 months

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On My Block: Pilot vs. Finale

These babies grew up. I'm crying.

Bonus because I haven't cried enough:

(Oscar Diaz deserved better)

And one more for the road (full circle):

#On My Block #Monse Finnie #Cesar Diaz #Jamal Turner #Ruby Martinez

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soul-music-is-life · 5 months

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Watching your shit show and waiting for the next plot twist

Tag yourself....

I'm Jamal....

...except when I'm Abuelita:

BONUS Bonus: When you're watching with your bestie:

#On My Block #Cesar Diaz #Ruby Martinez #Monse Finnie #Jamal Turner #Marisol Martinez

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soul-music-is-life · 5 months

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Stop. Making. Me. Cry!

Don't mind me. I'm just crying about Jamal (HAMAL!) and Abuelita's unconventional BFF bonding for life.

I'm not crying. You're crying. Shut up. Leave me alone.

#On My Block #Marisol Martinez #Jamal Turner #This Friendship

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soul-music-is-life · 5 months

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Eddie Lamb/Monty Finnie

I have been salty ever since "Pretty Little Liars: Original Sin" recast the actor for Eddie Lamb. And now that I'm watching "On My Block" I just marvel at how wonderful the actor is at portraying the calm-dad and I'm so mad they couldn't get him for a 2 minute cameo in PLL: OS.

Monty Finnie is up there with Wayne Fields as one of the best TV dads I have ever seen. He's better than all the other dads on PLL combined. I am so happy to see him on my screen. And I still find him wildly handsome. Win-win.

#Pretty Little Liars #Pretty Little Liars Original Sin #Eddie Lamb #Monty Finney #Reggie Austin

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soul-music-is-life · 6 months

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i just sent an ask about a chapter not loading, but it finally did! sorry to bother you.

Actually, I'm glad you did. I work in IT and have found work-arounds for not only my story, but many others.

The first is to clear your Fanfic cookies and reload with an entirely new page. That cleared up blank pages for a lot of people and a lot of stories. If that doesn't work there are more tricks. But just so you know...it's a huge sitewide problem.

As someone who works in IT, I have never seen a site run so poorly in a very long time. If I had access to the servers I know my team would be able to fix it within a day or two (we literally had a migration bigger than this less than a month ago and nothing went down like this did, but then again I have a highly competent team). It's been over a month and the site is a dumpster fire in the middle of an apocalypse with a comet hurtling towards the planet. That's why I realized I needed to start posting the work on AO3 with my other Emison fics.

But also...as someone who has always grown up in a digital age I always keep copies of my work in more than one place. I have back-ups of my back-ups. So never worry about the content. I promise I've got it.

#Pretty Little Liars #PLL #Emison #Fanfic.net #Fanfic down

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soul-music-is-life · 6 months

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I hate to bother you, but I was reading your fic seasons of love and chapter 9 isn’t showing up and I was wondering if it was some kind of glitch? would you happen to have it saved? i’m hooked (especially with how fantastic chapter 8 was) and really would appreciate it. if you have time!

Fanfic is in the toilet right now. You are not alone in that respect. What I've had to do was clear my cookies in my browser and go back to the site and do their stupid cloudflare thing again.

These complaints are ALL from today. It's the site, and it's been going on for a month. If you go to twitter and look up Fiction Press you'll see a ton more.

I absolutely have every chapter saved/backed up.

If you can find a work-around the best I've found it clearing FF cookies and then trying a direct link (which I have provided at the end). You can also try adding an "/m" at the end of the hyperlink if you're using a browser.

The app is completely FUBAR right now.

Otherwise, I'm in the process of trying to get it all up on AO3, but I have to format each chapter...so fanfic is the only place where it's at.

CHAPTER LINK BELOW:

#PLL #Emison #Fanfic

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soul-music-is-life · 6 months

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just wanted to share how much i love your fic seasons of love. i really adore how you write alison in particular and i’m a huge fan of emison in the middle of a 4B rewatch. it’s really rare to find a fic that is this perfect and I cried three times already and I’m still on the prologue. you’re such a talented writer!

This was the highlight of my weekend. Thank you so much for these kind words.

Here's to hoping there are more smiles than tears. This fic has its ups and downs, but Emison is solid. Their love is solid! And I've enjoyed playing with the timejump and developing them as individuals as well as a couple.

#Pretty Little Liars #Emison #Alison DiLaurentis #Emily Fields

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soul-music-is-life · 7 months

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Do you think it's a little weird that Shay is in Paris instead of being home on her child's birthday?

I feel a little uncomfortable answering, tbh. We don't know them or their lives.

She travels a lot for work/networking. She was gone for over a month when Rome was an infant (she was 2-3 months old, iirc). I think Atlas was born on the 8th. I don't know. Maybe she's flying home. And if she is not I'm sure she and Matte have something planned for her birthday. He travels, too. And it seems like they coordinate schedules so one of them is home with the kids while they travel for work. And both kids seems to love them.

I think every parent is different. I have abandonment issues, so if I had children I would never miss one milestone, but the reality is that as long as children are in a loving environment...that's all that matters.

Every picture I've seen of their youngest is of her smiling and laughing. And her oldest is wildly empathetic and clearly loves her sister.

I've admittedly been a little judgmental in the past, because I can't imagine not being there for my own children for months at a time. But times have changed. And technology exists. I'm sure they are constantly in contact. We just don't see it reflected on socials because Shay is protective of her family.

#Shay Mitchell #Matte Babel #Working Parents

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soul-music-is-life · 7 months

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My bestie and I trying to pass time, but we have no idea what we're doing: