spaceboysbrainspace

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Lake Superior , Canada 🇨🇦 / USA 🇺🇸

#Lake Michigan is my long term anchor partner Lake Superior is the partner I see rarely and couldn’t see more but feel so so strongly about #I’m in love that’s what I’m saying #I miss the lakes I miss the lakes

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KAT GIORDANO

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one time when I was a barista I was telling my coworker that I suddenly really missed cows. I used to work with cows all the time back home and then I moved away and suddenly it had been four years and nary a cow.

15 minutes later this old guy came up to the counter with his address written on a napkin & he said “me and my wife have a whole herd of dexters and a couple of new calves. come on over any time”

so after work I was like ok fuck it & I drove to the address and I parked at the gate & I walked down the driveway to the barn and this woman was like “oh my husband told me you might stop by! come see our cows” and she introduced me to every single cow. made my whole week.

thank you cow couple

#oh!!!!!

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I just am obsessed w my dog!!! Infant creature baby bean!!! Who happens to be 9 years old and greying!!!

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#have I reblogged this before

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[“Ultimately, anti-fatness isn’t based in science or health, concern or choice. Anti-fatness is a way for thinner people to remind themselves of their perceived virtue. Seeing a fatter person allows them to remind themselves that at least I’m not that fat. They believe that they have chosen their body, so seeing a fat person eat something they deem unhealthy reminds them of their stronger willpower, greater tenacity, and superior character. We don’t just look different, the thinking goes; we are different. Thinner people outwit their bodies. Fatter people succumb to them. Encounters with fatter people offer a welcome opportunity to retell that narrative and remind themselves of their superiority.

Over time, I have come to learn that these moments—the threats, the concern, the constant well-intentioned bullying—run even deeper than a simple assumption of superiority. It is a reminder so many thin people seem to desperately need. They don’t seem to be talking to me at all. They seem to be talking to themselves.

Thin people don’t need me to know about a diet or a surgeon. They don’t need me to hear them expound on the evils of the obesity epidemic or the war on obesity. They need to remind themselves to stay vigilant and virtuous. The ways that thin people talk to fat people are, in a heartless kind of way, self-soothing. They are warnings to themselves from themselves. I am the future they are terrified of becoming, so they speak to me as the ghost of fatness future. They remove food from my cart as if it is their own. They offer diet advice forcefully, insisting that I take it. If I say that I have, they insist I must have done it wrong, must not have been vigilant enough, must not have had enough willpower. They beat me up the way most of us only talk to ourselves. As if in a trance, they plead with me, some terrifying future self.

Sometimes, the trance breaks. Maybe it breaks because they realize, with great discomfort, that they have made extraordinary judgments, issued intrusive mandates like some petulant prince. Maybe it breaks because a fat person asks them to stop. But whatever breaks the trance, the thinner person seems to return to themself, recognizing that they may have overstepped. And without fail, they will offer the same rote caveat, a hasty waiver, unsigned, disclaiming any injury caused: I’m just concerned for your health. And just like that, all that judgment, all those assumptions, all that cruelty suddenly becomes a humanitarian mission.”]

aubrey gordon, what we don’t talk about when we talk about fat

#resources

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Everybody pls appreciate and value my art

#can’t post it on insta yet bc it’s a gift for a friend who would Def see it #but I… Really like this one.. #and want to Share #forget-me-nots

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Sent the important email saw the northern lights and part of what in was lying abt in my post abt unimportant things in my life (and by lying abt i mean omitting) was that actually the thing w this friend is that actually I keep thinking abt [redacted] and listen, i can separate that shit from emotional trust, and also, fuck him still!

#ok like not actually fuck him but I do fuckin need to keep my emotional distance!!! #and also. #anyway wish there were #somebody else I were as interested in in that particular way! #jk there is the other one just is entirely uninterested in that ever from anybody #just like deeply unimportant!!!!

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made a mistake that makes me feel like such a huge! fucking! fool! and has such a real and tangible impact on my actual life! and I’m!!! Fuck!!!!

#it’s gonna be fine I guess I just #fuck!!!!

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things happening in my life that don’t matter at all just keep entering my brain space:

-friend completely disappeared on me during one of the more intense periods of my life; didn’t have time to be that bothered bc of intense (or like was bothered but couldn’t process); finally talked to him this weekend abt how that was shitty and ofc immediately started wanting to get back into the practice of seeing him multiple times a week, except that I don’t want that even a little bit!!! Not at all!! Fuck that!!

-side note on that one of the things he said was ‘well bc everything was really intense for me too I gravitated towards only doing things that were fun and easy’ which like cool!! glad you didn’t interact w me bc it would have been too difficult and tiring bc of the shitty time I was having! thanks!

-am being a baby abt my other friend genuinely being too busy (but he at least tells me!!!!!)

-my new home is so pretty :)

-have an art I want to make but haven’t had time yet

things that matter medium that are happening in my life:

-my dog w separation anxiety is slowly slowly getting better about it and maybe someday soon I will be able to leave my property

-I’m extremely dependent on my friends to be able to leave my home rn bc of said dog and somehow… i have been able to do nearly everything i have needed to do and some bonus things too by which I mean my friends are incredible and amazing by which I mean having community care is… overwhelming and beautiful…

-the entire right side of my torso is in pain and has been for a week and the way it is in pain is that my nerves are Too Sensitive which means my Shirt Hurts and uh. I don’t. Like it. Wish it would stop. :)

-……need to send an email. a genuinely actually important email. In world context.

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Scissor-tailed Flycatchers (Tyrannus forficatus), males, family Tyrannidae, order Passeriformes, South-central United States

photographs by Shiraz H Reels

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do you know any texts on the connection between fascism/the right and cleanliness/hygiene (purity) rhetoric? anything that goes a bit in depth on the topic?

Getting Under Our Skin: The Cultural and Social History of Vermin (2021). Sarasohn, Lisa Tunick. ISBN: 9781421441382

Dirt: New Geographies of Cleanliness and Contamination (2007). Campkin, Ben & Cox, Rosie (Eds.). ISBN: 9781845116729

The Sanitation of Brazil: Nation, State, and Public Health, 1889-1930 (2016). Hochman, Gilberto. ISBN: 9780252099052

Clean and White: A History of Environmental Racism in the United States (2015). Zimring, Carl A. ISBN: 9781479826940

Colonial Pathologies: American Tropical Medicine, Race, and Hygiene in the Phillipines (2006). Anderson, Warwick H. ISBN: 0822338041

Bacteriology in British India: Laboratory Medicine and the Tropics (2017). Chakrabarti, Pratik. ISBN: 9781580465908

The Great Hanoi Rat Hunt: Empire, Disease, and Modernity in French Colonial Vietnam (2018). Vann, Michael G. & Clarke, Liz. ISBN: 9780190602697

Soap and Water: Cleanliness, Dirt and the Working Classes in Victorian and Edwardian Britain (2010). Kelley, Victoria. ISBN: 9781848850521

Contagion: Disease, government, and the “social question” in 19th-century France (1999). Aisenberg, Andrew R.

Rome, Pollution, and Propriety: Dirt, Disease, and Hygiene in the Eternal City from Antiquity to Modernity (2012). Bradley, Mark & Stow, Kenneth R. ISBN: 9781107014435

Sanitizing South Africa: Race, Racism and Germs in the Making of the Apartheid State, 1880-1980 (2015). Fabio Terence Palmi Zoia. PhD. Dissertation, Indiana University. Available from ProQuest Dissertations & Theses Global. (1682266398)

there are also a few theoretical texts in social / cultural anthropology that will be frequent touchstones here, including norbert elias's 'the civilising process' (first published 1939) and mary douglas's 'purity and danger' (1966). i don't honestly think it's worth it or necessary to read these directly, both because they're dated in certain ways and because i think the historical studies are generally more useful. but you will probably notice these two texts & a handful of others repeatedly cropping up in introductory footnotes on this topic.

#resources #!!

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just like so so so so so so so so So tired

#any time I mention One(1) thing that is happening in my life to someone who #doesn’t know me well enough to get the full story #they r like ‘oh wow that is a lot!!!’ #and I say ‘yeah’ #eg today a coworker learned abt my partner leaving and me moving #and she was like ‘wow that’s a Huge Change!!’ #and I was like ‘yep’. #and a week or two ago I mentioned my grandpa to someone and they were like ‘wow that’s a lot it sounds exhausting!’ and I was like ‘yep.’ #or when I talk about my pup #anyway #it’s all fine whatever!!! #whatever

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Burnt orchid (Neotinea ustulata, also known as Orchis ustulata) between Saas-Grund and Saas-Fee, Valais, Switzerland

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“What is erotic about reading (or writing) is the play of imagination called forth in the space between you and your object of knowledge. Poets and novelists, like lovers, touch that space to life with their metaphors and subterfuge. The edges of the space are the edges of the things you love, whose inconcinnities make your mind move. And there is Eros, nervous realist in this sentimental domain, who acts out of a love of paradox, that is as he folds the beloved object out of sight into a mystery, into a blind point where it can float known and unknown, actual and possible, near and far, desired and drawing you on.”

— Anne Carson, from Eros the Bittersweet (Dalkey Archive Press, 1998)

#yeah

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#craving a certain type of emotional intimacy and coregulation but feeling incapable of cultivating that rn bc my brain is Fried!!!

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Unpleasant_(interface)_design

#im obsessed w these things