spiderjenno

[spiderjenno]

In light of Eid today.

My father once said ‘my dear Jahan, remember you are a product of the East & West,’ as I was traveling into the highly populated Muslim country, Indonesia, for a show on our international tour. He did not elaborate, but I think it was implicitly meant as warning not to coerce the crowd into taking their tops off, or not to wear my ‘FUCK’ shirt on stage. It was meant as a reminder to respect and adapt to other cultures during my nomadic escapades, while maintaining my own individuality and identity- the backbone of that ‘identity’ being a sexually liberated 25 year old American-born, half-Pakistani woman. Despite not speaking my father’s native language, Urdu, I still refer to myself as a DESI, which is a term used to identify our fellow Pakistani, Indian, or South East Asian people. Despite not being a practicing Muslim, I still associate myself with them, as I was raised in a Muslim household and some of the values have remained a part of me today. I am just one of the millions of other desis who have been raised in the Western world and have adapted to its values and norms, while trying not to lose sight of our native roots or Eastern traditions.

Since childhood, many of us desis have been in a tug-a-war battle with our identity, navigating opposing forces: the clashing cultures of the East & West. We are walking paradoxes, with one foot in the land of freedom and sexual liberation, and the other foot in a land where values like modesty, innocence, respect for elders, and discipline are paramount. Up until recently, I have spent my entire life wandering through no man’s land in search of who I am, and where I belong. It took me years to muster up the courage to say I was proud to be raised in a Muslim household and that I identify with my desi brothers and sisters. For over a decade, the influx of the negative content in the media circulating around Islam the Middle East silenced me- to the point where I simply could not stand up for myself.

After the 9/11 attacks, this one kid would point at me and aggressively shout “JIHAD!!!” every time we crossed paths in the hallway at school. I giggled along with everyone else, essentially surrendering to his name calling. Although this seems like a petty and minor encounter with a close-minded boy compared to violent hate crimes that occur on a global scale daily, the experience still haunts me and angers me today. It angers me not because the boy was ignorant, but because I had allowed myself to slowly and shamefully abandon my Eastern roots over the years. I defied my Pakistani descent to the point where I couldn’t even defend my own people who were being blamed as a whole for atrocities that extremist Muslims were committing. The self-inflicted shame I felt for being Pakistani made me more submissive than I’d want any teenager or young adult to be. I simply could not stand up for myself because I wanted to fit in and wanted to be accepted by the cool kids (who were mostly thought of as being ‘cool’ for degrading others). We cannot sacrifice our authenticity and identity in order to feel welcomed into social groups.

Whether it was feeling insulted for being dubbed a prude during freshman year of high school, or being questioned for ‘why MY people’ bombed the Twin Towers in New York City, I wish I could go back and speak out against the ignorant attitudes I was witnessing in the media and in person. But now is my chance to protect and defend the values I was raised on. As strict and sheltered as it seems, our household rules during our teenage years that forbade dating, short-shorts & tank tops, going to the mall with boys, alcohol, and movies with sex scenes (in a nutshell), were the building blocks for who I am now as a woman in the United States. Fundamental aspects of my father’s culture are deeply embedded in me, whether that is self-control or respect for my elders. 

I also proudly grasp on to values that living in a liberal, democratic America has taught me, whether that is independence, celebration of individuality, freedom of speech, or enjoying my sexuality. Now there are certain cultural qualities and customs from both the East & West that may not be in line with my personal world view, but I am constantly sifting through the light and dark of both create my own set of values. 

Although it has taken a lot of soul searching, I have realized that being a half-Pakistani American is a blessing as I have the opportunity to communicate with both worlds. I do think it is my social responsibility to encourage everyone, whether in my situation or not, to raise their voice and speak out regarding issues that are important to them. Many Muslims and desis are silenced because of the internalized shame or guilt they feel because groups like Boko Haram and Taliban are dominating the representations of Muslims in the media. However, there are many Muslims in other areas of the world who are silenced because they are in fear of their life. They are silenced because they become a target of ISIS if they encourage anything from Western education to women’s rights. If you are reading this, chances are that your decision to speak out is not determined by whether you will be beheaded or not. The predominant images of Islam in the media showcase the barbaric and savage behavior of the the extremist Muslims and we need to overpower those representations by shedding light on the beauty of our respective religion or culture, and that we are capable of modern and progressive thinking. Progressive doesn’t always have to be a word to describe Western societies. So let us truly appreciate and use our gift to freedom of speech to promote more positive and realistic messages about our culture and traditions, whether that be the sense of community and strength of family in Southeast Asian countries, or the beautiful emphasis of PEACE in Islam.

May peace be upon you, no matter who you are. And MashAllah to those who fasted this month. I admire your dedication and self-discipline as the days were long and hot. Eid Mubarak!!!

SOME FUN PIX:

My German-Lithuanian mother converted to Islam and used to sew us little turds Pakistani garments to wear on holidays like Eid. (Yasmine, Aisha, me, and our cousin Nida).

This is my white ass in a hijab, believe it or not!!!! I wore this to Islamic school where all the teachers spoke Arabic and I didn’t understand a thing they said.  

BELOW IS THE SACRED LOTA. You will find one of these in most Muslim households because the Quran emphasizes cleanliness. It is watering pot for your flower and your balloon knot after you pee and poop. I highly suggest you buy one for your girlfriend. You can tell her it’s a genie lamp.

My pits are stinky and I sweat curry but HUG ME I’M PAKI!!!! 

[spiderjenno]

my mom’s rallying cry for equal opportunity in response to Baltimore riots.

“…….I never thought after growing up in New Haven, CT and remembering the riots and curfews in ‘67-’68, that we’d see this again so many years after the Civil Rights Movement. I say we give everyone equal opportunity and that starts with spending real money on educating every child equally so that every kid, regardless if they come out of an impoverished ‘hood or an uppercrust suburb has chance at life. Let’s take care of our own and really come to grips with our racial divide.”

[spiderjenno]

krewellajahan well said. Haters can hate, but we ain't going down! Supporting you girls 101 percent! And will continue to see all your shows as I can!

MY ASS. UNPLUGGED.

Salaam-Alaikum Krew, it’s Jahan again! Did anyone catch the headlines last weekend??? I’m talking about the very important breaking news that Krewella’s Ultra 2015 set was UNPLUGGED!!! Minutes after Almighty Deadmau5 tweets “Aw man, Krewellas got them new completely wireless DJMs??? I’m jealous,” EDM reporters spread the news like wildfire and the story gets massive traction in the dance community, while Deadmau5 receives praise from critics for his honest and brave reporting from the frontlines. For those of you who are out of the loop with global events, Deadmau5 is the most trusted name on Twitter. Deadmau5’s success skyrocketed when his ratings surpassed TMZ’s after reporting the hard facts of the Krewella break-up several months ago, and since then he has proven himself to be a credible news source for all things Krewella!

All sarcasm aside, I’m rolling my eyes at how much noise the Krewella “fake DJing” story created in the EDM blogosphere last weekend. Not only because it’s another dose of gossip contributing to the pollution on the internet, but because it’s fundamentally based on lie… a “news story” based on the words of someone whose internet reputation thrives off of using slanderous dialogue to entertain his 3 MILLION Twitter worshippers. Every time Yasmine and I are slammed in the media, we debate whether or not it’s worth it to react and share our side of the story. Rumors have real and damaging effects on individuals, careers, religions, political officials, and on society as a whole. Just like our announcement last year stating that we in fact did NOT kick Kris out of Krewella, contrary to what his lawsuit said, we have every right to expose the truth- THE FANS DESERVE THE TRUTH.

This story needs to be cleared up once and for all: We have NEVER played a pre-recorded set and do not intend to do so in the future. Since day one of touring as Krewella in 2011, Yasmine and I have been solely responsible for DJing our shows. We curate the song selection and mix the tracks live, and as a special surprise for Ultra 2015 we introduced our band. To assume that we played a pre-recorded set means that our intentions were to be…..perfect. This goes against what Yasmine and I stand for in the dance music scene. It takes away the raw, human element of our performance. We take pride in allowing ourselves to raise our voices, be vulnerable, fuck up, take risks, face our fears, and unleash our blood, sweat and tears. We would have to be fucking fools to play a pre-recorded DJ set at Ultra, especially knowing it would be our online LIVE streamed debut since the shitty lawsuit drama, and knowing Deadmau5 was going to watch and tweet about it (by the way, Deadmau5 and Kris also share the same lawyer, Dina Lapolt. I’ll let you draw your own conclusions from that).

BREAKING NEWS: Rukes reports proof of cables hooked up at Ultra. Minimal clicks & retweets cuz truth isn’t juicy or fun enough for twitter :(

****If you need a technical explanation of how our equipment was plugged in at Ultra, here’s a helpful video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bi731cWjRwA&sns=em

We ALL have the right to expose the truth, protect our honor, and share our stories. When a buzz-worthy rumor spreads and completely undermines mine and Yasmine’s hard work, passion, integrity, dignity, and performance- I WILL STAND THE FUCK UP FOR KREWELLA! To bite our tongues and wait for the storm to pass gives too much power to the pattern that we have all fallen into on the Internet: the ingestion of junk food gossip and the regurgitation of bullshit. Within the electronic dance music scene, I have seen far too many influentials reinforcing this cycle by choosing to maintain their internet personas based on promoting lies and rumors about others. And a lot of these people are really fucking talented- but does that give someone a sense of entitlement to degrade others? It’s the typical high school story of the football team’s star who gets mad pussy but still continues to bring down the dork in the hallway- anything to get a round of applause.

Shit talking and degrading others online for publicity and attention completely abandons the values that many people in the dance music community once wore (and many still wear) as a badge of honor. I’m referring to the values that I was introduced to when this genre was on a brink of becoming mainstream almost 5 years ago. P.L.U.R. (peace/love/unity/respect) was the first commandment I was taught by young fans. Togetherness and acceptance were the pillars of the dance culture, and because of these values, I was proud to be welcomed and have a place in the world of dance.

Correction: “I am proud.” The dance music scene doesn’t have to be corrupt. When I’m old, I want to look back on my career and know that I was part of a movement that promoted tolerance, individuality, and speaking out on issues that one believes in. I want to say that 2015 was the year where the paradigm shifted, so that our complacent, jaded, or hateful attitudes were overridden by a fierce movement to stand up for what we think is right for the community. We could save the dance music culture’s honorable values if we become more conscious of what we say and what we share. Spreading the word and reminding people of what the fundamental values are will create awareness.

So here Yasmine and I are, standing in the middle of this war-zone, searching the rubble for the remains of these pillars that have been crumbling before our feet. The thousands of fans that crowded our stage this year at Ultra gave us renewed faith in them as the future leaders of our society- that there is no judgement based on labels and headlines, and that they can think for themselves. These people represent the future of our Krew. #FUTUREKREW. And trust me, there will be many more battles we face with evil trolls. But Yasmine and I are unstoppable, and we will be louder than bombs that try to interfere with our mission to create art and give life to our community. The dark age of evil trolling is coming to an end. The KREWLIFE lives on. 

[spiderjenno]

Last weekend was amazing! After months of no Krew, I saw Yasmine again and finally did the infamous invisible ball! Thanks for stopping by and chatting for a little bit! krewellajahan see you soon and can’t wait to rage at omnia

#yasmine yousaf #krewella #jahan yousaf

[spiderjenno]

krewellajahan welcome back! ✌🙌🙌🙌

by @krewellajahan:

Good morning. It’s 9 AM Sunday and here I am typing on my phone while I’m eating breakfast. I type with one thumb as the other hand is working like a motor in automatic, shoveling greek yogurt in my mouth. I’m so fixated on my phone that sometimes I forget breakfast is at...

[spiderjenno]

Awesome remix!

PLEASE @KREWELLA RELEASE THIS REMIX! <3

[spiderjenno]

@krewellayasmine perfect!

I don’t normally do this, but the past few days have been rainy inside and out, so I sat down at my piano to write a song and quickly scratched a chord progression to it (it is very minimal. I am a very mediocre piano player but i hope it at least gets the feel across). I literally did not know how to express how I felt besides writing this. As an artist, I choose to bear my heart & soul to the world all the time, but this is quite possibly the most stripped down and raw I have ever delivered anything. & no, this is not a krewella song but thank you in advance for listening anyways. Soo some back story! When I went home to Chicago for thanksgiving last week, I saw my dear friend of 15 years. He knows me better than almost anyone. We were reminiscing and I brought up one night when we were maybe 12. It was spring break—we hung out on this swing set in the back of school while he told me about his extravagant plans to change the world. This kid took me for a whirl wind. I not only fell madly in love with the passion with which he spoke, but suddenly felt like I was useless. I actually went home that night and wrote a dumb 12-year-old song, with the example lyric, “you’re gonna to change the world for the better / and I’ll just be sitting here at home in Chicago”. Fast forward to present day. I told him, because of the injustice I have personally experienced in the last few months, (albeit it is petty compared to the terrible injustices we see in our world), I suddenly felt like I had a fire lit under my ass. No one should experience being taken advantage of, not feeling good enough, suffering purely for who they are on the outside, and being ripped apart by ignorance. He laughed and told me that my spring break circa ’05 story was ridiculous because I had the potential to be so far from useless. I have my voice, I have a lot of people watching the moves I make and the things I say, so how could I not at least try? That would be useless.  Am I rambling yet? I’m such a rambler. I’m just trying to say that regardless of who you are, or how important you deem yourself, or how small or big you think the expanse of your voice is, it really does matter. Our world seems so big but we are all connected; your problems are my problems are their problems are your problems. If you want to speak out against the abuse and narrow-mindedness you see in the news, speak out. If someone has bullied you or treated you like shit, walk up to them and tell them. If you see or hear or experience something that makes your stomach drop to your feet, say something. 

Because THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A SILENT REVOLUTION.

For this reason, I wrote and shitty-iPhone-video recorded this song, inspired by continuous sexist slurs and being half-Pakistani and Eric Garner and painful lawsuits and feeling like nothing is fucking fair and growing up as a confused-angry-12-year-old wanting to say something important but can’t find the right outlet or right words—only to find myself 10 years later having the same thoughts. This is not the greatest song in the world (((self-depreciative laughter))) but I dedicate this one to anyone out there that is ready for some fucking change.

————- I can’t breathe and you can’t see my worth, so you let me choke and you complain I just waste space tear me up, I’m not good enough for you

Will I be good enough when I’m on TV? Will you smile & nod at your flat screen? cuz to you the world is just as shallow, as the only vessel you’ll let me grow

Let me grow, let me grow, let me grow Let me hang, or free my soul

[spiderjenno]

WHERE’S THE DROP?

_______________________

Track: Krewella - ID

New Album Release date: 2015 

[spiderjenno]

Happy Thanksgiving to everyone! I am so thankful for my family and friends and all the blessings I received. The highlight of my year is when I met krewellajahan and krewellayasmine

I designed a shirt for you guys as a number one fan! Hopefully to give yours next time!

Definitely mind blowing sets and left me speechless when I met them and celebrated my birthday and had a little chat. Thank you and I can’t wait for you to be back here and release your new album!

#krewella #krew #vegaskrew #krewlove #krewlife #forever #yasmine #jahan

[spiderjenno]

Oh Jahan... 😍 #lightnightclub #light #lasvegas #edm #cirquedusoleil #nightclub #krewella #krew #vegaskrew #krewlove #krewlife #getwet #halloween #lightmare @krewellayasmine @krewellajahan @krewella @thedavidcarlson @thelightvegas

#vegaskrew #krew #light #cirquedusoleil #lightnightclub #getwet #nightclub #krewlove #krewlife #halloween #krewella #lightmare #lasvegas #edm

[spiderjenno]

Always worth seeing you girls! Even skipping day 2 escape. Thank you for recognizing me and I got to rep my designed shirt for you! Til next time and hopefully we can chat again! krewellajahan krewellayasmine

#krewella #vegaskrew #krewlife #krewlove #yasmine yousaf #jahan yousaf #Krew

[spiderjenno]

Gotta love Jahan when she does a champagne shower on my side and looks at me and held the bottle for me and give it to me even others wanting it. Haha #lightnightclub #light #lasvegas #edm #nightclub #krewella #krew #vegaskrew #krewlove #krewlife #getwet #halloween #champagneshowers @krewella @krewellayasmine @krewellajahan @thelightvegas

#vegaskrew #krew #light #champagneshowers #lightnightclub #getwet #nightclub #krewlove #krewlife #halloween #krewella #lasvegas #edm

[spiderjenno]

No matter what I will still be on your side and always the number one fan! Like you said “We are one” and “if we go down we go down together” krewellajahan krewellayasmine

#krewella #krewellayasmine #krewellajahan #vegaskrew #krew4ever #number1fan #rainman

[spiderjenno]

Today was 1 of the most emotional days of my life. I know I don’t even have to explain why, as the whole internet-sphere knows by now, but reading so many false claims about my sister and me coming straight from Kris cut me deeper than anything I’ve experienced in my life. I can’t say much as...

[spiderjenno]

Today was 1 of the most emotional days of my life. I know I don’t even have to explain why, as the whole internet-sphere knows by now, but reading so many false claims about my sister and me coming straight from Kris cut me deeper than anything I’ve experienced in my life. I can’t say much as...