spiderwing-nightman

[spiderwing-nightman]

bring back tumblr ask culture let me. bother you with questions and statements

[spiderwing-nightman]

I think it’d be really funny if after they got together, Charles made tons of jokes about Edwin’s horribly timed confession.

Charles: makes an inappropriate joke

Edwin: Time and place, Charles.

Charles: Oh you wanna talk about TIMES and PLACES??

#charles rowland #edwin payne #dead boy detectives #payneland

[spiderwing-nightman]

I think it's so interesting that when the Night Nurse goes through Charles' trauma, she does see him being attacked by the other boys, sees him running alone through the night, but she never sees him dying. That only comes later, when she is searching for love.

And there is no fear in that memory, even if there is pain, there is just Edwin and the light he is bringing, metaphorically and physically, into Charles' life, there is smiling and joking and listening to stories. There is Edwin.

So, yeah, I don't think dying was a bad experience for Charles. Not a good one, per se, but one that led to the best thing in his existence.

#Charles rowland #cause Edwin gave him the one thing he's ever wanted #safety #the one thing Charles wants is to be alive cause the first time he felt safe is when Edwin sat with him as he died (and has consequently fe #lt safe with Edwin everyday since then) #he wants the opportunity to feel that safety while being alive #meanwhile Edwin never got that safety #as much as he gave that safety to Charles and Charles tried to give it back to Edwin (and I think Edwin got close to feeling safe with Char #les but not all the way) he never felt truly safe #so he can't even think about wanting to be alive when he doesn't have safety

[spiderwing-nightman]

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[spiderwing-nightman]

I am haunted by the detailed, completed map of Hell that Edwin took notes on. You don’t understand, it makes me sick. It’s one thing to have a basic layout, a vague idea, or a rudimentary map but it was meticulously detailed. Down to doors and what they do and where they go. Down to secret spaces in the walls. He even knew what ringing an innocuous bell would do. It can only mean one thing. We don’t know when Edwin began trying to escape, but assuming he started from the get go, it means that he spent all his decades in Hell trying to find a way out. He never stopped running. And that is assuming he never stopped. From his second trip, we could see he resorted to his old ways and ran. But he was eventually caught, reduced to pieces. Even when Charles showed up, he didn’t seem very optimistic about their chances. He could feel every second of those 70 years. There were likely many times he fell to hopelessness, trembling in the corner watching himself be desecrated knowing it was going to happen again and again. How long? How many times did he try to be so, so quiet, hoping he would have a few moments before the next round? How many times did he muster the ability to run, just one more time? How long did it take him to run, discovering the ends of each ring? How many times did he sprint up, down, north, south, east, west, trying to escape? And what happened when he finally escaped? How long did it take for him to be able to relax, even a little? Because he can never relax. He must always outrun Death and her constituents because he can’t count on them to be fair. How many times does he look over his shoulder, waiting for the monster to claim its eternal meal once again? His breath of fresh air, his first taste of companionship in ages not only keeps him company, but sticks by him. And then, in that blessing there comes a curse, because now you have something to lose. Because when you taste ambrosia how can you return to starvation? He feels safe with Charles. Happy and comfortable, but the threat always lingers. And he knows that Charles couldn’t fend off Death. He never considered he could fend off Hell beasts; after all, he’s just a ghost kid. He watches innocents be slaughtered on repeat, unphased by the level of violence but no less affected by it, because no one has even a clue what it takes to be this kind. Even at his most happy, he has so, so much to lose and he goes back to Hell when hope was dangled in his face like the fruit of Tantalus. When he returns, he’s subjected to Hell once again, sustaining through torture that obliterates souls, only to watch his best friend, his confidant, his platonic soulmate, die horrifically. This woman who gave him sea-glass courage, so powerful and yet so fragile. Allowed him to be himself, gave him permission to do so. Was the openness to his closed self, and now she is gone. And he retains his composure, his stiff, British posture because it is what has saved him from madness and Despair, protected him, and now the world is darker without Niko Sasaki in it. But surely he saw this coming. After all, humans are messy. And yet, he shows up for their souls, time and time again.

Edwin Payne is THE character.

#Dead boy detectives #Edwin Payne #And yet he STILL chooses to be kind #He may say it's because he's trying to earn his way out of hell #But really it's because that's who he is #Cause anyone else would've given up 108 years ago

[spiderwing-nightman]

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[spiderwing-nightman]

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[spiderwing-nightman]

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[spiderwing-nightman]

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[spiderwing-nightman]

I’ll cry if I think about them for too long but you’re Charles Rowland you’re a biracial punk and you’ve been getting the shit kicked out of you by your father your entire life but you see a Pakistani kid getting beat for being Pakistani and you can’t help it, you’re afraid but you stop it. You’re half Indian why are you any different? The racist little white boys agree. They beat you too. You make it away. You’re cold, so cold and something’s very wrong with you, and then you see a light. But you’re not dead. It’s another boy your age and he tells you he’s dead. He died in this same shitty boarding school and he reads you a bedtime story as you fall asleep. You’re dead now and he’s still here. He knew you were dying and he didn’t want you to be scared. He crawled out of Hell and the first thing he did was comfort you as you lay dying.

Why wouldn’t you run from death with him? Why wouldn’t you spend your eternity with him? Why wouldn’t you love him?

#dead boy detectives #Charles Rowland #Edwin Payne #the events that led to Charles and Edwin's deaths were extreme acts of cruelty #but the very first thing Edwin did once he was free was to give someone else the kindness of a peaceful death he wasn't afforded #he gave Charles a dignified death #that he deserved (the both of them did) #there was no miracle cure or making Charles feel better #just a distraction to save him from what Edwin wasn't spared (the horrors of dying) #Edwin's action are in such contrast with the cruelty of Charles' death #and not just the cruelty but the accidental nature #the boys were cruel to him on purpose but they killed him by accident and Edwin spared him and was kind to him on purpose #he showed Charles that he mattered (something that Charles felt at the very least rarely in his life) #Charles didn't give up anything because Edwin IS his eternal peaceful afterlife

[spiderwing-nightman]

dead boy detectives textposts part 3

#dead boy detectives

[spiderwing-nightman]

it feels like this season, doctor who is dealing with the fundamental rules changing. it was strictly sci-fi, you could always logic your way out of any problem with technobabble and a clever plan.

but it feels like so much of the plot is wrapped around poking at the medium of being a television show, of being a story. we have multiple characters looking at the viewers, we have the maestro playing the theme tune, we have such clear parallels to season 1 (2005) that it feels like a universal coincidence. like the whoniverse itself is recognizing its a medium and playing with its tropes.

the genre is changing too - we are leaning more and more into fantasy, rules like you would see in stories about fae, not sci-fi. musical numbers out of nowhere that no one seems to question, with rain inside and musical sidewalks. the vocabulary of rope and power in coincidences. hell, even the way that time travel works is changing! suddenly stepping on a butterfly (specifically a trope in scifi that has been mocked/debunked previously) has consequences. the doctor swiping away the translation circuit's effects with the wave of a hand and breathing life back into a creature without breaking a sweat.

not to mention the way that space babies foreshadows to a universe that creates a story with all the ingredients it knows are supposed to be there (re: bogeyman - there's supposed to be a villain so it made one)

something IS going on. there is a bigger player - bigger than tecteun, bigger than the toymaker. could it be rtd just having a grand ole time using canon as is playground? maybe. but i hope it's something cool.

#doctor who #doctor who spoilers

[spiderwing-nightman]

I just finished watching Dead Boy Detectives, and I really, really love how this show handled its queer characters.

It’s so interesting to me, because Edwin died in 1916, and while he wasn’t killed for being gay, his sexuality isn’t unconnected with how/why he died. But his whole arc in the season is about accepting himself and his feelings for both boys more generally and Charles in specific. And by the end of the season, he is able to discuss his crushes with Niko and confess to Charles, and even extend this acceptance to Simon—the boy who bullied and killed him. And in the confession with Charles, I think it is so beautiful that nothing changed— that Charles was so accepting not only of Edwin being gay but also being in love with him.

And I love the scene with Simon, and the moment that the show gives to Edwin, where he is able to accept that being gay isn’t a curse of inherently wrong. And after extending that acceptance to Simon, Simon is able to move on from his eternal punishment in Hell.

So this show does a really beautiful job handling internalized homophobia and repressed feelings, but, at the same time, it also has a really casual approach to queerness. It was never suggested that Jenny’s secret admirer could be a man, and Niko just already seemed to know Jenny was gay. And it was never considered odd or surprising by the characters that Monty and the Cat King could be attracted to Edwin. For a show that really treats Edwin’s journey so beautifully, there is just also a level of accepted queerness without homophobia which I found really interesting and enjoyable to watch.

#dead boy detectives

[spiderwing-nightman]

The thing that keeps hitting me about Dead Boy Detectives is that for all intents and purposes Edwin and Charles should never have met. In a slightly different world (not a perfect one) Edwin would have lived a long life, gone to college, escaped his tormenters. Charles would have done the same, maybe he would've gotten his mother away from his father, finally dealt emotionally with everything happening with his father. MAYBE Edwin and Charles would have crossed paths accidentally once or twice, but that's unlikely. I think they would've had good lives, but it still isn't a perfect world because Edwin and Charles aren't together. Something feels cosmically off balance with that world (light needs dark, order needs chaos, sun needs sky, Charles needs Edwin and vice versa). I can't help but think that, for all the good they could have had in their lives, they would feel like something was missing because they're missing their soulmate (platonic or otherwise), their other half. When Edwin found Charles he found His person (and the same for Charles), and while their deaths are still horrible, I can't help but wonder if they weren't worth it just to bring these two people, separated by time, together.

#dead boy detectives #I love this show so much #Charles rowland #Edwin payne #their deaths are terrible and horrifying #but there's something so special about find Your Person #and that's what their deaths gave them

[spiderwing-nightman]

Crystal: Do you ever want to talk about your feelings, Charles?

Charles: No

Edwin: I do

Crystal: I know, Edwin

Edwin: I went to hell

Crystal: I know, Edwin

#dead boy detectives #Charles rowland #Edwin payne #crystal palace #you'd think the WWI era school boy would be the most repressed but NOPE

[spiderwing-nightman]

sixteen year old Edwin to Charles in the attic: I did not want to scare you

twelve year old Edwin to Charles in the attic:

#dead boy detectives

[spiderwing-nightman]

"Tim feels abandoned" "he's being ignored" "tim is jealous of the attention they give damian" "tim is-" tim drake would break out into actual literal hives at the thought of anything resembling an adult monitoring him, he'd starting hissing like a feral cat if Bruce tried to get involved with his business, he'd saw his own arm off if his family tried to demand he checks in more than once a month with heavily coded messages

#tim drake