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static-enterprises · 3 years
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*pops in*
If Black Hat and Steve were ever able to have an actual relationship, their song would be “The Bitch Song” by Bowling for Soup.
*peaces out*
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static-enterprises · 5 years
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                                             “ Oh~ The non-existent humanity! ”
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                                                                                                 personals don’t like or reblog
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static-enterprises · 5 years
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“Where am I?”
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“That’s for us to know and you not to worry about~.” 
Vincent twirled his little pocket knife between his fingers as he watched the bag-headed scientist groggily look around. It’d been a stroke of pure luck that he’d managed to catch Black Hat’s little errand boy by himself without the insane lizard bitch or his carebear hanging around. One little boop to the temple and he was out like a light...
Now, they had all the time in the world to poke and prod at that brain of his. And he was oh so hoping it’d be in the literal fashion~.
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static-enterprises · 5 years
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Captured Sentence Starters
May contain some uncomfortable scenarios.
“Thrash all you want, you can ever escape this cage.” 
“I’ve finally caught you.” 
“Aw, is it too tight? Good.” 
“You will never leave this place alive.” 
“You are a marvelous creature, trapped in such a small little cell.” 
“Let me go!” 
“You think you’ve won, huh?!” 
“Quit struggling, you will only make it worse.” 
“You seem rather calm for being in your position.” 
“You can’t keep me in here forever!” 
“W-what are you going to do to me?” 
“I’ve been looking for something new to experiment on…” 
“What a fine specimen! Yes, you will do just fine.” 
“I won’t become some lab rat!” 
“As soon as I get my hands on you, you will regret trapping me in here.” 
“What…what is this place?” 
“Where am I?” 
“If you keep struggling, you may lose a limb.” 
“Please! You got to help me!” 
“I’ve done nothing wrong!” 
“If you answer a just a couple of questions, I may let you go.” 
“Do you know how long I’ve been waiting for something like you?” 
“You’ve hit the end of the road, ___.” 
“Do you really think bindings and bars will keep you safe?” 
“I will kill you!” 
“You are not quite reacting like I’d assumed…” 
!?+ add your own!
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static-enterprises · 5 years
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Flug reached into his coat to find a taser, holding it out threateningly.  “I could short out your TV.” 
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“Oh?” The two antennas on his head stood at attention before clicking together to produce a current of electricity between them both.
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“If you really think I haven’t the forethought to protect my TV from all outside forces, go ahead, roll that dice. It’s not me that’ll wind up crispier than a sinner’s soul in hell if you do~.”
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static-enterprises · 5 years
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A smirk at his hand being swatted away. For someone that loves to start shit, Flug sure does let himself get riled up easily.
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“Oh no! I’ve pissed off the sentient grocery bag, whatever shall I do~? Oh, I’m quaking in my boots at the sheer thought of his paper-thin might~!”
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“Oh right, I forgot how in denial you are. It’s cute but starting to cause some worry in people. Perhaps you should go talk to someone about these delusions of grandeur you’ve been having. Not that it doesn’t become you, it really does for a TV headed weirdo like yourself.”
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“Yes, yes, keep it up~.” His condescending tone was further emphasized with a pinch of the cheek from Steve. “You are just so adorable that I have to pinch your cheek~.” Seems the CEO has decided to enter “little shit” mode to get underneath his rival scientist’s skin.
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static-enterprises · 5 years
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Send ⛓ to capture my muse
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static-enterprises · 5 years
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“Oh right, I forgot how in denial you are. It’s cute but starting to cause some worry in people. Perhaps you should go talk to someone about these delusions of grandeur you’ve been having. Not that it doesn’t become you, it really does for a TV headed weirdo like yourself.”
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“Yes, yes, keep it up~.” His condescending tone was further emphasized with a pinch of the cheek from Steve. “You are just so adorable that I have to pinch your cheek~.” Seems the CEO has decided to enter “little shit” mode to get underneath his rival scientist’s skin.
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static-enterprises · 5 years
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“Oh please, you’re just jealous because Black Hat Org is better then your hole in the wall company. Oh, sorry, you’re still working out of a garage.”
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“Customer approval ratings and stock points don’t lie, Flugsy~! You can tell yourself whatever you want to make yourself feel better, I won’t stop you. Makes it all the sweeter when reality comes crashing down on your head~!”
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static-enterprises · 5 years
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“What, too chicken shit to say ‘ass’? Also, get fucked, you third-rate lab assistant.”
@static-enterprises
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“SUCK MY BUTT, STEVE!” 
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static-enterprises · 5 years
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virtuous-whitehat replied to your post: “Hmm. Surprised people are still hanging around...
//mun makes grabby hands in you and your muses directions. Good to have you back!
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static-enterprises · 5 years
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“Hmm. Surprised people are still hanging around here.”
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“That just goes to show how much of mark we’ve made~!”
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static-enterprises · 5 years
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not to be sappy or extra on main but I love the idea of like… romantic villainy. I wanna conquer and rule the world but I want my love there with me as we look over the lands we own, I wanna lowkey cuddle them on my throne while I command my minions, I wanna give evil speeches in my lover’s embrace… watch a hero fall in fear of my words while my dearest kisses me as I continue my extra ass monologue
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static-enterprises · 5 years
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💀 Reblog if your muse is deadly
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static-enterprises · 5 years
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“Ugggh. Someone fucking kill me.” So much fucking work to do!
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static-enterprises · 5 years
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“Eat shit and die mad about it!”
It was no use; neither of them was picking up and he didn’t want Black Hat hearing him call in the cavalry, anyways, since he’d just be waiting for the both of them. Losing the eldritch was his only real option, then.
Easier said than done...
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‘Come on, Steve, think!’ The man thought to himself. Fighting Black Hat was absolutely not feasible, so he’d have to pull off a bit of trickery to slow him down or incapacitate him for a bit. There were a couple of devices in his coat pocket as well as his trusty raygun, but it still wasn’t a lot to work with, especially with who he was up against. He’ll just have to be smart about how he uses them...
Steve saw that he was coming up onto another corner and pulled his raygun out; shooting Black Hat wouldn’t do anything but that ceiling was whole other story. Taking aim, the mad genius fired and caused a cascade of rubble and debris to fall right in front of the eldritch monster. That should buy him enough time to get around the corner and start the second part of his evasion tactic.
static-enterprises·:
@loinhumano
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“Son of a bitch.”
Today was not going Steve’s way; the arrival of a few heroic hemorrhoids had already been a bit of a detriment, but when Black Hat and his assortment of dead weight decided to grace them with their presence, things got a hell of a lot more hectic. The CEO had managed to lose sight of Rodney and Vincent but from the unmistakable smell of burning flesh and screams of agony, they both seemed to be doing fine.
Sadly, he couldn’t say the same for himself…
His eldritch rival was somehow able to get near him while he was preoccupied with one of the heroes and, suffice to say, Steve had had about a millisecond to activate his shield before being flung through a building. And a couple of seconds after that to duck into a hallway to evade the monster’s claws.
Now, he was running and hiding through the building as he tried to get communications up with one of his friends, but considering the battle was still raging outside, who knows when they’ll get a chance to answer.
“What a shitshow.”
【 🎩 】 — He mustn’t have taken this chase seriously yet, seeing as he was just moving brisk enough to not lose that little nuisance. 
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The effort of the heroes drew Black Hat to the site, even as a retired villain he wasn’t opposed to bringing down a band of chump champions. However the appearance of Static Enterprises meant he had to share the turf. Of course this wasn’t something Black Hat was good at, at all, let alone would consider as an option even if he was. Flug and Demencia were, with a point of the hand, sent to deal with both the heroes and the other’s lackeys. Black Hat himself had other business to attend to.
Every time Steve ducked for cover, the dapper devil wasn’t too far behind. He’d go as far as to shred the wall next to him with talons that protruded from his grey gloves. At this rate he was just sizing up his prey. Black Hat was entirely capable of catching up to the other— an option would be extra limb-like appendages extending from his back and carrying him at high speeds. However, this one had been a thorn in his side for a while now. There was certainly room to let this drag on for a while. Besides, he didn’t stand a chance!
…Probably.
“ You’re driving my patience, and it’s only been a few minutes! ” 
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static-enterprises · 5 years
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@dappcrdust
[x]
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You’d think Rodney had stumbled upon an ancient treasure or a lifetime supply of gunpowder from how excited he was! A real fucking demon was standing right in front of him~! And they were just as cool-looking as he’d always imagined one would be, though the pink was a bit of a surprise.
“What kinda demon are you? Why do you got some many arms? How tall are you? I like your boots.”
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