stories-and-acupofcoffee

[stories-and-acupofcoffee]

The best nights are the ones you never plan.

Unknown (via resqectable)

[stories-and-acupofcoffee]

She understood that the hardest times in life to go through were when you were transitioning from one version of yourself to another.

Sarah Addison Allen (via quotefeeling)

[stories-and-acupofcoffee]

A year ago, I would never have pictured the way my life is now.

Unknown (via thoughtkick)

[stories-and-acupofcoffee]

honestly, this is one of the days where i feel discouraged and feel like i want to quit everything-- writing, and vlogging. because somehow i don’t see myself like being known or something like that. hindi naman yun talaga yung mga dahilan bakit ko sinimulan gawin mga bagay na to. kaya lang minsan nakaka-discourage. i can’t help but think that maybe i am not good enough or something. idk ahaha basta yun 

but i look forward to the day when i can see why i’m doing all these things. i mean, i am doing it for the glory of God, but i... idk. padayon.

#pb

[stories-and-acupofcoffee]

(c) betsin-artparasites on facebook

sana ‘wag dumating ‘yung panahon na puro pait ‘yung maramdaman ko... natin... sana ‘wag dumating ‘yung panahon na pagsisisi na lang ‘yung natitira.

sana, kahit hindi man sa isa’t isa, makuha pa rin nating maging masaya... makuha pa rin nating maging malaya.

sana ‘wag pagtatanong, sana ‘wag pagsisisi... sana mapuno tayo ng pasasalamat. ayokong manatiling sakit lang ‘yung naiiwan mong alaala sa akin; ayokong manatiling pait lang ‘yung nararamdaman ko sa tuwing maiisip kita.

at sana ‘wag ding gano’n ‘yung maiwan sa’yo.

dahil masakit man, gusto ko rin namang makita na para talaga sa ikabubuti natin kung bakit kailangan natin mawala sa buhay ng isa’t isa. gusto ko rin namang lumingon sa panahong pinagsamahan natin ng may ngiti.

gusto ko rin namang masabi na, “akala ko ‘di ako makakaahon sa pagkawala mo, pero heto, mas maganda pala talaga ‘yung nakahanda para sa’tin.”

gusto ko na kahit lumipas ‘yung maraming taon, maraming panahon... kapag nakita kita ulit hindi ganyan ang sasabihin ko.

ayokong magtanong kung nagsisisi ka bang iniwan mo ako, ayoko. mas gusto kong masabi ang “salamat kasi iniwan mo ako.”

- a.d.c.

#pb #writings

[stories-and-acupofcoffee]

as munimuni’s sa hindi pag-alala plays...

“napag-isipan mo na ba? dahil kakalimutan na kita. heto na... heto na...”

sana, eto na ang huling sulat na isusulat ko para sa’yo; tungkol sa’yo. at habang sinusulat ko ito hindi ko maiwasang alalahanin ang lahat ng pinagsamahan natin.

hindi ko maiwasang alalahanin ang unang beses na mag-usap tayo. kung paanong hindi ka pumayag na matapos ang pag-uusap natin; kung paanong hindi ka pumayag na hanggang do’n na lang; kung paanong gumawa ka ng paraan para lang ‘wag matapos ang pag-uusap.

hindi ko maiwasang alalahanin ang pag-amin mo. at kung ano ang naramdaman ko noon; hindi ko maiwasang alalahanin kung paanong sa hindi inaasahang pagkakataon at panahon, nahulog ako sa’yo.

hindi ko maiwasang alalahanin ang unang beses kong naramdaman ang pagmamahal mo; ang unang beses na sinabi mo iyon— na ako ang pangarap mo; na ako ang sagot sa mga dalangin mo.

pero hindi ko rin maiwasang alalahanin na lahat ng ‘yon ay wala na. kaya heto na, kakalimutan na kita. sa hinaba-haba ng proseso, nakapag-desisyon na ako... kakalimutan na kita.

salamat sa lahat ng magagandang ala-ala. ngunit kagaya ng larawang ito, ang lahat ng ‘yon ay kailangan ng kumupas; kailangan ng mabura.

“buburahin na sa isip ang hugis ng iyong mga mata sa’yong pagtawa. kung pa’no ka ba manamit... heto na... heto na...”

mahal kita ngunit kailangan ko ng palayain ang sarili ko sa pagmamahal na ‘to.

“paalam na nga ba? kung hindi na tayo magkikita... nawa ay mangyaring hilahin tayo ng kamay ng Diyos sa isang pagkikita... sa isang pangitain.”

hindi ko alam kung saan na ‘to patungo. pero alam kong kailangan ko ng tuldukan ito; kailangan ko nang bumitaw.

“kakalimutan na kita. siguraduhin mong hindi talaga pwedeng tayo. napag-isipan mo na ba? dahil kakalimutan na kita.

...heto na.”

paalam...

kakalimutan na kita.

#pb #writings

[stories-and-acupofcoffee]

Ang Pagdating ng Isang Araw

stories-and-acupofcoffee:

Napakaraming p’wedeng mangyari sa loob ng isang araw. P’wedeng ngayon, ayos ka; p’wedeng sa susunod, hindi na. P’wedeng ngayon, desidido ka; p’wedeng sa susunod, hindi mo na alam. At para sa isang overthinker na katulad ko? Sa tingin ko ito ang isang bagay na mahirap tanggapin. O ‘di kaya, madali naman talaga itong tanggapin, pero ang sakit lang isipin. 

Isang araw. 

P’wedeng isang araw hinihiling mo na ‘wag ka niyang iwan, p’wedeng sa susunod... mas gusto mo na lang na iwan ka na. 

P’wedeng isang araw gustung-gusto mo siyang balikan, p’wedeng sa susunod, gusto mo na siyang makalimutan. 

Isang araw. 

Isang araw lang ang kailangan mo. 

Para ma-realize mo na p’wedeng dumating ‘yung isang araw na magiging okay ka na. Magiging okay na ang lahat. 

At eto na ‘yon. Eto na, ang pagdating ng isang araw. 

‘Yung isang araw na hinihingi mo. 

Na sana maging okay na lahat. Na sana matapos na lahat ng sakit; lahat ng pag-iisip. 

Dumating na. 

Dumating na ng piliin mong ayusin ang sarili mo. 

Dumating na ng piliin mong hindi lamang sa isang tao umiikot ang mundo mo.

Dumating na ng piliin mong higit ang pagmamahal ng pamilya mo at ng mga kabigan mo kesa anuman. 

Dumating na ng maalala mong may Diyos na mahal na mahal ka at ibinibigay ang lahat para sa iyo. 

Ito na, ang pagdating ng isang araw. 

#pb #writings

[stories-and-acupofcoffee]

https://iglovequotes.net/

[stories-and-acupofcoffee]

scared

[stories-and-acupofcoffee]

“That’s the thing about books. They let you travel without moving your feet.”

-  Jhumpa Lahiri

[stories-and-acupofcoffee]

https://iglovequotes.net/

[stories-and-acupofcoffee]

https://iglovequotes.net/

[stories-and-acupofcoffee]

https://iglovequotes.net/

[stories-and-acupofcoffee]

https://iglovequotes.net/

[stories-and-acupofcoffee]

https://iglovequotes.net/

[stories-and-acupofcoffee]

https://iglovequotes.net/

[stories-and-acupofcoffee]

Hey,

stories-and-acupofcoffee:

I am writing this because I am not brave enough to confront you; not brave enough to send you a message telling you that I need to ask you something. So here I am, typing all of this because this is the only place I can be brave enough to pour out what bothers both my heart and my mind. 

I am good with words, but sometimes I run out of words to express how I really feel; sometimes I feel like I don’t have to use so much words in order for you to understand what I’m feeling. But I have to say it. 

I have to say that I can’t keep on denying how much I miss you and how much I still love you; I can’t keep on denying that it is not hurting me every time I think about how happy you already are; I can’t keep on denying that seeing you moving forward and being able to try and love again is okay for me, because it’s not. Kind of selfish, huh? That’s why I can’t tell you any of these. Because I don’t want to confuse you. More so, I don’t want to meddle with your life anymore. Because I certainly don’t have any right anymore. 

I didn’t have any in the first place. 

I don’t know how to face completely letting you go. Every time I pray, I ask God to just make me stop loving you; stop thinking about you; stop everything I feel about you-- may it be love, care, anger, hatred, confusion, and disappointment. I just want it all to stop, but I don’t know how to face it. Because I am still hoping. 

Even when it’s clear that I should stop already. Because you’re not standing on to everything that you said to me when you left me. 

I guess, promises are truly made to be broken. Because we never know what could happen, right? We never know when we’ll feel again. And I guess, if you’re starting to love and try again, maybe it’s because you’re giving yourself a chance to feel again. 

I want to be able to do that, too. 

Although everything that I am thinking about are just assumptions... I know that the truth is not far from this. You’re happy now; you’re happy without me. Besides, what have I ever done for you, right? I only gave you trouble and confusion. I’m sorry. 

It’s almost a year since you’ve made up your mind to let me go... and here I am, still... 

Crying. 

Overthinking. 

Hoping. 

Longing. 

Missing you. 

Loving you. 

Trying hard to let you go. 

But what’s making it so hard? I don’t know, too. Everything I loved about you seemed to be gone, but that’s exactly the reason why I love you. Because I don’t need all of that, I just love you. Clearly, you don’t feel the same. 

I’m sorry if I wasn’t the woman you expected me to be; I’m sorry if I wasn’t the answer to your prayers; I’m sorry because aside from being your best, I also became the worst person in your life. I’m sorry. 

Sincerely. 

Please know that I’m trying, really, really hard... to not feel affected with everything you’re doing. Besides, what makes me different? I’m also the same. 

I love you still. I don’t know if I always will, but at this point... I’m guessing, I’ll probably be always loving you and missing you. 

I just really and genuinely hope you are at a happy phase. If we’re not going to work out anymore, I’ll just gladly let you go... no matter how hard it is. 

If you really don’t love me or like me anymore, okay. I’m going to be okay with it... 

I’m sorry ‘cause I am not brave enough anymore to ask. It has already been so long, so I don’t feel the need to ask you about it anymore. 

I just want to wake up one day and feel and see that everything’s okay. That I’ve already stopped hoping and loving you. 

But love always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres. 

But it’s just too painful already. 

I guess, I’m just going to let God take control. I’ll feel the pain until I can’t feel it anymore; I’ll feel the pain until I find the reason why I’m feeling the pain; I’ll feel the pain until I understand what it’s trying to teach me. 

I love you... so much. 

And with this love, I let you go. 

With this love, I wish you your happiness. 

With this love, I wish you the best. 

Even if it’s without me. 

I love you, my Best. You will always be one of God’s greatest gifts to me. I love you. 

So much. 

So much that it hurts... 

So much that I don’t know what to do anymore. 

I pray for all the best for you.

Always,

Adee.

#pb #writings