strawberrryangel

[strawberrryangel]

Supernatural + Rain

#beautiful #it really is the perfect show to watch during autumn/halloween #i watch it year round but if i restart from season 1 once september hits it’s perfecto

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and dean winchester thought he was unlovable and didnt deserve happiness he hated himself and thought eveyone would eventually leave him and then a literal fucking angel fell in love with him. like loved him more than anything else in the world.

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yes cas just being a regular angel is important and i do love that he wasn't meant to be anyone special but. i also do very much enjoy entertaining the idea that cas was a failed archangel. cas being one of the first angels created, originally favored by god. up there with michael and lucifer. god's big three. then lucifer fell for not caring about humans at all. for thinking he knew better than god. for wanting to be daddy's favorite. then cas started caring too much about humans. he nearly killed the fish that would become them, while walking on the young earth with his fellow archangel brother. and from then on he began watching a little more closely than the others. he became invested in their survival. in their success. he began to take issue with god's plans and god's word when he'd order disaster and destruction to strike. so cas began rebelling, interfering. and as an archangel, that was dangerous. so he got demoted. stripped down. memories wiped. again and again and again til he forgot who he once was entirely. but he still felt a pull to the other archangels. still felt closer to them than any regular old angel should. and most of the lower angels don't know. it was easy to make them all forget. the archangels, maybe they remember. and naomi, the one tasked with reprogramming. she remembers, and that's part of why she fears him and is intimidated by him and needs to keep him in line. he can't ever know what he once was. he can't ever remember.

#fuck this is so good

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no sideblogs we lose followers like men

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Just some things

#oh i’m obsessed

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dean's like. when i want my dad to like me i hide all my soft parts and when i want other hunters to respect me i act like my dad and when other men leer at me in bars i no homo it up and when motel owners perceive something queer abt me i butch it up and when my little brother teases me i project the feminine things i actually like onto him and when i'm around attractive women i lean into the image that's already been cultivated around me as a charming ladies man and flirt shamelessly (but actually i'm shy) and when i'm around queer women i don't have to perform for i can relax and wear silly outfits and indulge in my actual interests and hobbies and when i'm around kids i am soft and vulnerable and honest because i know they won't judge me and when faced with the option of choosing any presentation i joke that i'd pick to look like a hot cheerleader and everyone thinks i'm being pervy but actually. well. who wouldn't want to be a hot cheerleader am i right? and no no other people don't think like that i guess, heh, nevermind....and when i'm with my best friend...sometimes i think he can see all of me, like really see me, and it's simultaneously terrifying and so so easy.

#god i’ll literally cry

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#stanford era dean my beloved

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Stackednatural- 275/327

Folsom Prison Blues (2x19) April 26th, 2007

#he thinks he’s adorable :D

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through heaven and hell

#obsessed with this #destiel

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not now kitten, daddy's experiencing a category 7 destiel event

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was unsure about posting this but ITS THEM THEYRE ON A DATE

#i love this omg :( #look at them!!!!! #on a date!!!!!!!!

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crazy that sam’s otherness was so integral to the plot in the early seasons. sammy’s a freak. sammy’s a little off. There’s Something A Bit Different about sammy. nondescript guy w blueberry shot. but then in the later seasons, dean is so fundamentally Othered and they just straight up. don’t go into it. dean doesn’t have a female soulmate in heaven bc reasons. dean wants to experience people & feelings Differently than he has before but we won’t go into it. dean’s own subconscious asks him ‘how come you only want what you can’t have?’: dean as a character is aware of his own otherness, but the narrative itself bends to ignore it. dean has to die on the rusty nail bc sam is the normal one now and dean wouldn’t fit the mold of 1 wife and 2.5 kids: that’s intrinsically not who he is anymore. dean winchester constantly toes the line of this spoken/unspoken Difference and the story ties itself into knots with this dichotomy of introducing and acknowledging it, but simultaneously avoiding its resolution. (the resolution being of course, that dean is queer and loves cas back). just. so interesting that we have this direct comparison of sam (otherness by design) vs dean (otherness by mistake). spn truly did the Most to avoid following the natural path of the narrative huh

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DEAN: *dropping so, so, so many hints*

CAS: *literally tripping over the hints but blaming it on his own clumsiness*

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That trope when two people are sneaking around somewhere and nearly get caught so one of them drags the other into a passionate kiss and they escape notice.......

That. but it's season 6 painfully-pining-for-each-other Castiel and Dean.

They're sneaking around a building for a hunt when they both realise that they're about to get caught and there's nowhere to go.

Cas quickly turns around and slams Dean against a wall and suddenly they're kissing.

They're kissing and kissing and Dean is making noises into Cas's mouth and he's pulling him in as close as he can and Cas is pressing against him as close as he can and Dean's hands are diving deep into Cas's hair and the kissing just keeps going faster and deeper and hotter and they're pressed so close together and

Cas pulls back slightly and they're both panting (even though angels don't breathe) and Dean blinks a few times like he's coming out of a dream (even though Cas never stops in his dreams) and he says softly, What. the fuck. was that????

Cas looks wrecked. His hair is a mess and his blue eyes are glowing and he stares at Dean while he tries to catch his breath (even though angels don't breathe) and Dean stares back (even though Dean's eyes keep flicking back to Cas's mouth) and Cas eventually rumbles, I had to touch your skin to make you invisible with me.

Dean licks his lips and takes a deep breath through his nose but neither of them have moved and they're still pressed against the wall and they're still pressed against each other and Cas is still only inches from his face

And yeah the monsters must have gone. so it obviously worked. but

Dean swallows hard. He searches Cas's face and he thinks and he hopes and he already knows what he wants the answer to be when he asks, Why didn't you just touch my forehead? Or uh- hold my hand?? Fly us away???

And Cas just stares. and stares and stares. He brings his fingers up to touch Dean's lips gently. so so gently. and Dean can't help it when he parts them slightly and he sighs and

Cas disappears to the sound of wingbeats

Dean throws his hands up and yells, OH, C'MON!

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dean loooooves to hold castiel’s face in his hands but he’s only allowed to do that in the most dire of situations like when castiel has been stabbed to death or possibly turned into a rabid dog by a witch

#yeah :(

[strawberrryangel]

save me stanford era dean save me

#YEAH #always thinking about him #stanford era dean my beloved #ough he’s so gorgeous #and so incredibly gender #he deserved to meet cas then