#//Sends him into fight or flight mode every time—who’s to say Kae won’t fuck it up and make a Luc regret trying?

[dutybcrne]

From a very young age, Kaeya held such a fondness for handholding. Whether it was his father clinging tightly to him to make sure he didn’t get lost, Adelinde’s gentle, grounding hand closed over his to comfort him whenever his nerves got the better of him, Crepus’s rough-palmed, firm yet comforting grip as he brought him back home, or, as it was most often of all, Diluc’s warm, yet at times uncomfortably tight hold as he dragged him anywhere, everywhere, determined to always keep Kaeya close and eagerly show him all there was to see, Kaeya treasured the gesture greatly.

Of course, being as shy as he was, initiating it himself was always the harder part. So much so, he would tend to hold pinkies, rather than outright take a person’s hand in his own. Eventually, it would become his most common way to go about the gesture of affection.

#hc; kaeya #//Handholding is one of his favorite ways of affection bc 1) it’s not too overwhelming when it comes to his touch aversion #//The sensation is all focused in one spot; and even then; it’s more grounding than uncomfortable bc of how firm people’s grasp tends to be #//He really took to holding pinkies bc he realized he could ‘test’ people that way #//If it was a bother to them; they wouldn’t blink twice before moving their hand from his hold. so rejection isn’t as BIG; more subtle #//And if they Liked it; they could either accept it as is or make him happier and take firmer hold of his hand #//Once he was more confident; he would go straight to more outright handholding. Klee ofc got that RIGHT from the getgo. Bc she is smol & #liked him from the start. Even if her Pyro energy did make him uncomfortable at first; but he got used to it. for her #//Luc made it easy to go right to it to—the kid would always seem to know when he wanted to hold hands for whatever reason and grabbed hold #before Kae could link pinkies. kae did like the fact that Luc would Pout the few times Kae did link pinkies instead of hold hands #//Pout; & snatch his hand firmly in his like ‘Why did you do that? THIS way’s better’. Love the image of bby!Kae grabbing bby!Luc’s sleeves #but lbr; they deffo held hands a lot as kiddos. Bc we all know just how (canonically) indulging Luc is with whatever Kae wants. Once Luc #//figured him out; it was a Very common sight; seeing Luc tromping around like the proud lil protector he was; & Kae scurrying after him #//Lil subtle delighted gleams in his eye compared to Luc’s more overt confidence and joy. So common a sight; it was no surprise that #Kae was Deffo distressed when Luc inevitably grew out of it. Adjusted; yeah; but the sudden Change was deffo NOT good for his nerves #//Clung to Addie a lot to make up for it; until he heard the maids tittering abt how childish he was being #//He quit that FAST; finding other ways to stave off his nerves and show his affection #//Sometimes when he’s drunk at Angel’s Share; he gets tempted to hold Luc’s hand—an old habit dredged back up bc he wants comfort #//But any sudden moves Luc makes; whether bc he noticed Kae reaching out or not; utterly scare the urge away every time #//He’s made his peace with Luc resenting him; but it still stings that the ONE person he felt closest to is now practically a Chasm away #//Not like he helps any with that; running away or lashing out every time Luc tries to bridge gaps or shows concern #//Sends him into fight or flight mode every time—who’s to say Kae won’t fuck it up and make a Luc regret trying? #//Might as well sabotage it all himself—at least THEN he knows with utmost certainty it will end failure. Whoops veered off topic #//The closer he is to someone; the more likely he ends up toying with their hands a bit—esp if Interested in them #//Likes playing with their fingers; linking; unlinking and slotting them together; tracing lines on their palms #//Cute shit like that. He likes seeing how they fit together; the differences in size and how they feel #//This was all bc I saw a detail from a show pointed out on the Twitter ndnfn. And thought the pinkie thing was SO cute. Anywho #//Hi. Shit happened irl & I am still not 100%. Not saying what bc it’s not a pleasant topic; but know I am ok #//Just a lil tired. But kinda wanna hcs for rn. I had a lil burst of energy earlier today. that was nice. Over a long dead show; no less #//But it helped lift my mood a bit. I still kinda wish I could drink rn tho. Think it’d help my brain rn