#<- this is so those ppl dont interact w this

[fanofthelamb]

So I went dumpster diving in my tablet for the first lamb I ever drew and WOW... I found a lot of sketches I really don't plan on revisiting. I am jsut gonna dump them below the cut for people to see!! Some of it is lore related, some of it is shit I ABSOLUTELY FUCKING HATE, but IDC!!! I will post it anyway for the tumblr users who I keep an eye on my notifs for. (yes, i see you guys. even if i dont always interact I see you and love you guys)

Anyway, here is the earliest drawin I have of me drawing the lamb!! I am going to write a comment under a lot of these to add context to them.

A cute little baby <3333 but I struggled a LOT of figuring out what the lamb was wearing, I eventually figured it out though. (I hope)

if you know, you know. (RIP VAL)

for my BTG AU. I decided I no longer wanted chemach to make the [spoiler] for the lamb, though, so I scrapped this

vaaaal,,,,,, i was still learning how to draw him, i wish i put pants on him but do those even exist in COTL? (yes)

I haven't been able to do much with them because I'm putting other stuff first, but Brear has two kids, Notre and Brejul who Narinder absolutely ADORES. he is the one who babysits.

fun fact but the lamb being touch repulsed is a projection LOL. i hate it when people touch me it feels so tickly and makes me want to bite their faces off. (but i am touch starved and i LOVE to show affection to other ppl, esp thru back rubs)

yes, they have a hoop for personal space. no, ill never use it.

drum corcl,,,, i love the little dancing guy that comes from the drums

more narinder and brear. they're not romantically interested in each other, but he is absolutely head over heels for brear, their brother, and the kids. they even call him dad sometimes.

[no context]

kallamar and leshy before their crowns. the scene i have related to this isn't happening anymore, but it was leshy begging to be taught to swim.

another "the one who baby sits" doodle. the bishops all came into the cult with a very good repuation thanks to narinder. he likes to tell the kids of the cult stories about how amazing his siblings were. at first, it was just to nobre and brejul with stories about leshy(he missed leshy a lot even though he was still mad at him, and the two reminded narinder of his time with leshy), but then it escalated into him hosting storytimes with larger groups after they started repeating some of the stories he'd tell them.

unfinsihed stuff about with the lamb and thier mom. their mom wasn't afraid of the bishops at all, but knew that they were a still a threat to her and her child's life. the lamb did NOT care for anyone thier mom didn't approve of/enthusiastically liked. they were much more afraid of the bishops than their mother.

i do not actually know if i posted this.i dont think so, but i giggle every time i scroll past it

brear and nobre <333

im still workong on BTG shit, and i post a little bit of the characters on here even tho the comics are going to be posted elsewhere. they have a "crownlike" beak, but a body part. there's different creatures who became gods through different ways; crowns are one way but their power is stuck with the crown and they are considered extremely weak compared to other gods. i wont blabber on about it tho.

so many sketches has random lines through em because i work with a tablet,,, i hate it. anyway, narinder and kallamar everybody!

sketches i made but didn't bother to finish of me and merbre,,,,,,,,, my husband #1 <3 them w/ narinder + merbre arent gonna be considered "canon" but damn it ill self-ship with them until i get a follower i can WORK with

i come back to this every few weeks and im never happy with it, i dont know if ill finish this but i think about them........ before the divorce </3

unused from an ask

heartstealer. menace. you can rip my heart out anytime, leshy <3

dreshy. he LOVES dresses and being pretty and cute and pretty. he sucks narinder into a lot and heket will sometimes join in if he demands asks her to <3

another unused drawing from an ask i'll eventually answer. (mildly offended at being called a mutton cube.)

.... aaand WOW! I think that's everything guys!! things are still kinda wild but they're calming down a little bit. idk how much longer it's gonna last like this but I have some energy so I made a way-too-long post showing off art I wasn't supposed to post! Awesome. :D

#cw gore #cotl au stuff in here #23 pics under the cut btw #cotl #cotl fanart #cult of the lamb #cotl lamb #the lamb #cotl narinder #cotl spoilers #cotl kallamar #cotl leshy #i dont think ill tag anymore #idek if i should've tagged this post at all #but well see how it plays out!! #THIS POST TOOK FOREVER TIME TO GO CLEAN

[theautisticfroglord]

anyways parents who record/post their autistic child having a meltdown are awful people :)

#“but its for awareness!!!!” shut up #there is no excuse #actually autistic #actually autism #meltdown #autistic meltdown #sensory issues #autism #autistic #tw ableism #ableism #autism moms #proship dni #<- this is so those ppl dont interact w this #ik it's unrelated but it's for my safety 🫶

[fenkko]

cant believe i reached 30 tags in prev post rambling about homestuck i didnt even know there was a limit

#i usually save word diarrhea for twitter but hope someone enjoys the huge dump i took here for once #anyways tldr homestuck orv and taz are all special stories to me in kind of similar ways #that i would elaborate on if i thought i could piece together my words that would entice people rather than scare them off lmao #so i'll just say IT's COOL.. I SWEAR #and also genshin which is an outlier i suppose bc its the only capital P Popular thing #but i'd also put genshin w those first three stories in terms of how interesting i find their storytelling methods and narrative themes #i love the pockets of genshin fandom that are ppl obsessing over fragments of lore and making big conspiracy boards #i dont really interact w main genshin fandom but i like peeking at the other pockets haha. like the people investigating khaenri'ah lore.. #very cool.. and people invested in sumeru gang. the sumeru characters are so interesting #whole city of eccentrics you can bash together and examine #i'm scara and childe fan forever idk what they did to my brain but i think they were a psyop #made specifically in ways they knew would target me and the things i like damn ‼️ #someone at genshin HQ put crack in these guys and i cant stop drawing them and coming up w ideas to draw my beautiful muses that ruined me

[quillkiller]

people have to stop acting like they’re oppressed because people are being annoying and/or mean about their otps

#i get its annoying but lets chill maybe #its not Real #just block ppl and dont interact w those bothering u #i promise you’ll experience a lot less negative reactions then #yes this includes me and other people who ship rair pairs #some of yall want to be mad i swear #some of have to stop being so fucking serious ahdhdhshdjfjdkfk #lets touch some grass <3

[silenthillbunni]

hmm

#i just feel like i cant connect to anyone #i dont feel safe with anyone. ppl are so cold and callous #and in fact most ppl support and contribute to abuse & rape culture #and knowing that just makes me not feel safe or comfortable with them #thus i cant trust them w my experiences. i cant trust them at all tbh #+ i have a deeper connection w animals & nature and most ppl.. are so disconnected from those #i just dont feel.. ok with anyone #also the fact that i constantly have to mask. every interaction w ppl feels like a performance #everyone already has decided what they think others should be. and i dont fit into that. im none of it #so i feel sm like no one could understand me. and in turn i dont understand anyone either :/ #it's making me feel so so so so fucking lonely #my world views and experiences and everything are things i just cannot ignore #i simply cant shut it off and be w ppl regardless #and i know i cant expect to meet ppl EXACTLY like me. but i just want some that are kinda similar #sigh all of this is so hard to even put into words. it feels like im not explaining this properly #i just look around me sometimes and feel so extremely alone bc i cant connect w anyone. i just dont understand ppl at all. #and i just wanna feel safe and comfortable #maybe what im saying is that someone world views and morals etc are important to me #i cant connect with someone who denies a genocide for example #bc that is so fundamentally against who i am and what i believe in #but it is so fkn rare i cant even come up w an example of me coming across someone similar to mtyself #idk.. just dont wanna be alone

[xmoonlitxdreamx]

forgot to include lifeweaver in my weird little name/nickname chart i posted a while ago, so i came up w this. tbh these guys are more like a trio to me than when i draw the junkers w the ow members (where i tend to focus on junkrat)

#info #tho i've also been imagining junkrat like 'running away' from ovw HQ for a couple days & running into lifeweaver by chance #& the two of them just chillin for a bit while junkrat figures out where he stands as a member of a larger organization. or sth idk #no real conclusion tbh #i do like that lw has some parallels w the junkers tho like getting kicked out of their homes #distaste for order and structure #authorities are after them #traveling the world #like their goals are super different but i think they have potential for connecting on those grounds ahah #also does lifeweaver have an interaction w junkrat about bugs or sth??? i saw some ppl talking abt it once but i cant find it on yt #(i dont play ow so. i get all my content from other ppls posts dkfndkdjfndjfn)

[badnikbreaker]

none of u are ready for the roleswap im cookin up

#mun art. #the different names are because i figured starline was unlikely to use their real names #id have liked to revert to surge and kit's 'real' names to highlight the difference but. lmao. dont know what those are #yes rascal is a ref to rosy rascal. it just made sense #lets see what else....design notes.... #my first few sketches i did of rose at work pulled more from surge's concept art and i liked a lot of it #but very little looked like AMY yknow #so i pulled in other elements from previous amy designs that were punkier #particularly her sonic the comic stuff #i abandoned most of creams clothing colour scheme cos i wanted it 2 be really obvious that she was Built and Designed to echo ames #the jacket shes wearing is one of amy's! cream prefers big jackets she can hide inside #doesnt like feeling Exposed. very nervous #i wanted 2 keep surge and kits basic colours / etc but make them feel like Designed if that makes sense #like more casual. not built 2 be heroes just ppl who hang out #surge is still a lil punky and more masc / androgynous when compared 2 ames which was important to me #i didnt want to just swap em and make surge feminine while amy gets masculine #amys still feminine! just a punkier version! etc #personals do NOT interact w this ill EAT YOU #i wanna put a Cleaner version of this on my art blog eventually #but i wanted 2 share this asap cos im having so much rotating them in my brain

[goldevolution]

and as much as i love it when random happenings turn into important bonds i think its equally as beautiful when u have some random interaction with someone and it deeply impacts u and then u never see or hear of them again. like wow we know nothing abt each other and yet u still managed to be a key memory in my life how cool is that!!!!!!

#GAY COWBOY FROM PRIDE 2019!!!!! CHARLES FROM THE RENFAIRE WHO MY FRIEND ACTUALLY BUMPED INTO AGAIN THIS YEAR!!!!!!! I STILL THINK OF U!!!!!! #the group of ppl i played pokemon go with when it first came out. when we ran around the whole town looking for the ponyta someone spotted #it was literally only that one day for a few hours and then i never saw most of them again and those i saw around i never rly spoke to again #even though it was such a small town #the one guy who i remember most bc he was so boisterous and fun and loud who was a graduating senior while i was going into freshman year #i actually saw again a couple years later as his friend was driving and he stuck out the car window shouting I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU ALL #down the entire street #apparently hes one of my friends best friends ex boyfriend but my interactions w him were only limited to that #all these ppl who i dont know i cherish them deeply #to me these kinds of intersections with random ppl at random times are rly just as precious as lifelong friendships. just in different ways #i can only hope that ive affected ppl randomly in the same way that is my one wish #GOD!!! THERE IS SO MUCH LOVE AND JOY IN THIS WORLD!!!!!! SO MUCH TIME FOR SO MANY GOOD THINGS!!!!!

[quenthel]

that being said using canon stuff to shut down other ppl's ideas or hounding what is and isnt true within the story too much is also cruel and stupid. like in the end of the day these are stories that are told for some kind of purpose. like does x little detail add anything substantial to what the story is abt? many times that question will be no yet ppl treat that information as it would be like a real life undisputable event... also this ties into how many ppl interact w fiction and fictional character like they would w real life events and people lol

#quenthel special #like ppl in the trenches abt astarion's eyecolor #or long ass discussions abt dnd lore and timelines etc when those are on purpose foggy given how dnd is an ever growing franchise #designed to be vague on the details so you can write your own stoires into the setting #like dont get me wrong im an obsessive person im like my dog sometimes when she sees a hedgehog i have to have my jaws around the thing #until it cuts me so badly i start to bleed everyhwere it happens #but idk... some ppl lose the plot abt how real and tangible these things are and dont differentiate between fiction and reality #and that makes it hard to interact w them and sometimes turns them very malicious towards fellow fans #anyway i wish to look at art and analysis and so many times i see bullshit and its tiriing...

[weenhands]

im more aware about my behaviors/pattern of behaviors and i have clarity and understanding about them after realizing i was autistic but the trauma from middle school really makes me wish i took that awareness and hid every single special interest of mine

#even being rejected slightly. it makes me want to be 'normal' like i always desired deep down during that period #hide everything. hide how weird i am. mask. fit in. count how many words youre saying on your fingers and #make sure youre not talking too much #hide. dont overshare. learn how normal ppl fucking interact. something is wrong w u #and thats when i was 13 #i still have that in me but i dont act on those thoughts and that insecurity #but lots of things i cant do or wont get out of my head because i trained myself to be normal #and one of them is being open and honest about my struggles and wat im going thru #or wat i like. wat my opinions are. that need to tread carefully is still ingrained in me #no matter how hard i try to get it out #sometimes i just wanna hide that i love makeup and just. only wear it when im going out. by myself #i wanna never go in the makeup isle when im with my best friend and visually stim while just. admiring everything and looking at everything #i wanna hide it all. i wanna hide everything im into especially makeup #idk. i think i love makeup alot bc i sorta stopped drawing and makeup isnt really so much abt. looking pretty #or hiding my insecurities #its about just. having fun and like an art form to me. and theyre just fun and pretty to hold and look at. #and i love watching makeup routines and tutorials bc its fun watching ppl 'paint' #i just love the process. thats why i wear makeup even at home when i. have nothing to do. #but i wanna hide it 👍👍👍 #ur Average autistic woman guys! autistic about makeup but will Mask and hide it #vent

[homophyte]

can i be so honest. every critique ive read of nope so far has been very lacking

#myposts #genuinely it seems like the only way people feel comfortable with interacting w this film is through the lens of 'spectacle bad' #without ever really defining what 'spectacle' means for the record! #it often takes of these contradictory meanings even in the same sentences which makes the whole thing feel worse bc like #i dont think YOU know what YOURE talking about #and the same w how the movie talks about race #earnestly if the only thing u think it has to say about race is like. people of color are either excluded from or tokenized in hollywood #then ur going to have to square that w ur critique that spectacle is bad end of sentence #is it the characters saving grace that they are exempted from an exploitative industry or should that industry be exploiting them?? #bc if ur saying hollywood is bad bc excluding ppl of color + spectacle exploitation u seem to be implying that we should want #people of color to be spectacized and tokenized. and i dont think most people making those statements would agree w that #i genuinely think its the fault of this overreliance on the word spectacle as the thing that holds it together #which sucks actually bc i havent even seen people super digging into the word itself and how fascinating its usage as the bad miracle is #idk. i think theres more to the movie--way more--than just the sin of looking #witnessing and understanding through the look is so significant and so good in it. it is OJ looking at emerald him Seeing her #that gives jean jacket its name. its recognization #we learn to be less afraid of the monster when we understand it--when we see it--and know it doesnt want to be looked at #do you see what i mean? #and thats aside from how it complicates the black horror narrative itself--how it highlights desperation induced by poverty #induced by racism and racially justified disregard as legitimate problems that cant be solved by galacybraining 'nopeing' out #they try to leave--and try to Not Look to abandon the spectacle as spectacle based critique says is the main concept of the movie #and thats not possible. it doesnt work. they go back and going back necessitates looking and engaging w spectacle #like literally the answer is not as simple as 'to spectacalize is Wrong' bc the victorious endstate of the movie #is for these characters to reclaim the history of spectacle theyre denied by disenfranchisement. she takes the frame by frame pictures #their names are attached to it forever and cant be forgotten as the jockey is. how can you square that?? honestly #idk. just watching this yt video where some white woman is talking about how nope is about and only about the entertainment industry #its just not the whole picture

[kienium]

i have such a hard time with tone indicators still because i don't know what the fuck i mean either. how am i supposed to fake it until i make it in these conditions

#kie rambles #brought to you by the two mega autism trucks having sex where my brain should be #rant in tags #also even tho ik what the tone indicators are supposed to mean??? i have no clue how to apply those to a social context #it's like taking a test but the study guide is written entirely in emojis and i dont know what the subject is #“you said the thing you should know how you intended it” well. #when you spend your whole life trying to make your interactions palatable through masking #and suddenly this new tool that's supposed to help you get intentions across appears #i dont know how to use it without unmasking fully and i dont know how to do that yet #TONE INDICATORS ARE GOOD BTW. they help so many ppl and help people feel more free to joke around with each other w/o hurting one another #just saying it's. still hard to change the wiring of “indicate tone for neurotypical people to understand” -- #-- to “don't indicate it at all until the end” #basically i still wanna use them bc theyre helpful to lots of ppl but like when i fuck up constantly pls be patient #feels like masking 2 electric boogaloo #masking as a nt person thats masking as a nd person. maskception. let me out of here oh my god #also im in class rn making this post instead of paying attention so if i repeat myself like 8 times im sowwy