#[bucku absolutely livewired Selina back to existence for me and Kate and lina are so important to me.

[godblooded]

i think??? i can feel some of my desire to be creative coming back. this time it’s thanks to good ol’ alana, new addition bruce, and an old favorite i couldn’t manage to write for so long but i think in my shit with my mom might be helping me in a big way. i think it says a lot that i was afraid to reengage with sharp objects because millie’s relationship with adora is too raw for me to handle but i forgot the most important thing millie would want me to remember: healing hurts, but it’s still healing. it starts with the hard stuff.

i haven’t felt at the fuck all creative and i have to deal with this horribly uninspired sensation i can’t get rid of. but it’s creeping back in. i just… couldn’t manage the energy to love or want to love anything. but i’ve done yet another rewatch with @dinobitten and fox, as they are always talented at doing, has brought out a lot of my creativity from where it decided to hide from me. a warning: this means i’m going to 0% control my writing styles unless requested specifically for a thread with the partner. if it personally bugs you, please inform me and i won’t do the different writing styles for our specific thread.

otherwise, expect me to probably match tone or perspective that you set because once you get the flow, you get the flow. i find that if reading someone’s second or first person reply, i tend to flow into complementing in my own reply their preferred writing style. it makes me feel less like i’m shackled by the bullshit english degree that beat too much consistency into me. i’m just way better when i’m untethered and i gotta remember to embrace that.

i love you guys. thank you for being on this journey. and helping me get back a part of myself i miss so badly. if you guys have any nice words, i would hugely appreciate them, but i wanted to say— thank you. just thank you. for accepting my chaotic nature. for being here when i sometimes feel lost (yes, even just by existing on my dash or briefly im’ing me). and for being here while i’m going through the most disastrous time in my life.

#dinobitten #[tags fox for being a the best and helping me be me again.] #thanagrian #[and Jay because he’s kept me so sane and he’s kept me thinking. #and taylor I need u to know because I think this is your url but I may be wrong. i don’t remember if you changed it recently. #I’m bad at remembering things.] #shelassos #bornbreathless #[stitchums has helped me feel so much more confident just by… caring.] #tornove #[Q’s consistent interest and beautiful general existence as a person always makes me smile on my dash.] #[okay I’m winding down I love you guys so much I had to shout out and… explain my weird block.] #[oh wait!!!!] #poisonweaned #[I would not ever ever have kept to millie without such a BEAUTIFUL amma.] #ooc. higurashi no naku koro halloween kills 2021 dir david gordon green ni. #cowlgbt #[bucku absolutely livewired Selina back to existence for me and Kate and lina are so important to me. #thank you thank you thank you for this.] #[I don’t know if I forgot anyone but I’m currently very very toasty and just falling hella the fuck asleep. temazapam good.]