#ᡣ𐭩 from user: pe4rl diver

[fyorina]

I JUST GOT AROUND TO READING I, CARRION AND UGH!!

“there’s a lecherous smile on Albatross’s face as he leans against the frame and looks at you, glasses hanging off the bridge of his nose. ‘Damn, if you weren’t the boss’s girl…’” awww stop it you’ll make me blush

THE SCENE W DAZAI FINDING US NOT READY YET “It’s not silly if it has you upset,” kisses on the nape of the neck and then kissing our ankles & buckling our heels >>>>>> “I’m sorry that I’m not a good enough man to do what’s right and let you go.” hey so what if i started violently sobbing. “but if fate brought us together, then far be it from me to deny the one thing in this world that has ever made me happy.” HEY SO WHAT IF I STARTED VIOLENTLY SOBBING.

“Still, he wants to gouge their eyes out.” if my man doesn’t want to gouge out people’s eyes just for looking at me, i don’t want him ‼️‼️

“My, Dazai, possessive, aren’t you?” “Very,” Dazai agrees idly. “Be sure to remember that.” bringing his hand up from your waist to cup your cheek, thumb brushing over your bottom lip as he murmurs, “That’s my girl, always so smart.” blushing giggling kicking my feet twirling my hair

“Fyodor Dostoevsky. A pleasure, truly.” oh no. oh no no no no no. that’s not good.

one more thing, i noticed that you kinda like made up your own characters (which was super cool and really creative btw!!) could you explain how/why you chose the specific authors you did? and i’m assuming you got their group names from something they wrote, any reason you chose those works in particular? (these are the ones i’m talking about: Mishima Yukio of the Sun and Steel, Nabokov’s Pale Flame, Leo Tolstoy’s Three Deaths, Cao Xueqin of the Red Chamber, Kitazawa Michihiro of Fuji Electric)

ty for listening to my ramblings once again ily !!

TUMBLR USER PE4RL-DIVER UGHHHHHH I LOVE YOU WHENEVER I SEE U IN MY NOTIFS IM SO HEART EYES

albatross is truly her no1 fan in this fic and she adores him <3 dazai is so not unsubtly jealous of him whenever she talks to him. gets all side eyed and irritated and then has to hide it whenever she looks at him LOLLLLL meanwhile albatross is just pleased that dazai is no longer an emotionless brick wall with a quick trigger finger

WHEN I TELL U THAT SCENE WAS ACTUALLY MY FAVORITE EVER i actually struggled so much writing it not because it was hard to write just because i was yearning so terrible for him LOLLLLL HAHAHAH

</33333 we all need our own beastzai truly life is so unfair he's so perfect

OMGGGGGGGG actually thats my favorite part of writing series/long one shots. i adore being able to build up new characters and organizations. usually i pull them just from some of my favorite authors/works (i cheated with the one electric company its actually just a real company because i got lazy) BUTTTTT mishima is obviously my go to just because there's lowkey already been reference to him and his works in the series but no mention of him, so he's my favorite to build and explore. and then i dont know why but i always have the russian underground divided by three (tolstoy, dostoevsky, nabokov) and usually in a constant territory struggle. of the two ive built up, nabokov is usually the one i use the most because ive hced that he worked with the previous boss pretty often before things went to shit. but i've actually built tolstoy's organization more than his - the three deaths is led by a triumvirate of tolstoy, gorky, and cheknov who were all contemporaries and had were associated with each other. and actually fun fact, i plan on doing a fic with a reader who takes the place of cheknov as one of the three deaths so we're going to see more from them. cao xueqin wrote one of the 4 great classical novels of chinese literature. my fyozai fic i've also built a new organization for - they're based in italy and are in constant conflict with the clocktower, but i don't wanna give anything away because u shall see when i finally post that

maybe one day ill do a whole little page for the organizations ive built & their references in my fics for u guys to look at if ur interested!!

#ᡣ𐭩 carina’s love letters #ᡣ𐭩 from user: pe4rl diver #TY FOR LISTENING TO MYYYY RAMBLING ILYM #sorry i turned ur ask into just a place for me to ramble about my world building HAHAH

[fyorina]

carina you outdid yourself with pt2 of he’s my collar it is SO fucking good

this was literally me. like that is the process i went through. in that order and everything. specifically the last one. that is me currently. i am in disrepair. cause like. i need dazai. i need him. carnally.

i also just need him to be happy (asagiri pls let my man be happy for once)

PLSSSSSS HAHAHAHHHH IM GLAD YOU ENJOYED IT I HAD THE TIME OF MY LIFE WRITING THAT FIC HONESTLY I DONT THINK IVE EVER BEEN MORE PROUD OF A FIC BEFORE 😭

😔😔 truly i am waiting for dazai’s reunion with the ada our poor baby needs a break. he’s so stressed and tired right now i cannot imagine 🥹 it makes me so sad i wont lie

#ᡣ𐭩 carina’s love letters #ᡣ𐭩 from user: pe4rl diver

[fyorina]

so i finished francesca. and oh boy. carina. carina i need you to know that i have not cried this hard in a while. shit got me crying so hard i had to pull out the childhood plushie for comfort. i’m gonna put together my full thoughts (the usual ramblings) tomorrow because i cannot do it right now. i’m shaking. i need at LEAST eight to twelve hours to process this. holy shit. good night.

AVAAAAAA HAHAHHH PLEASE I ADORE YOU NOT THE CHILDHOOD COMFORT PLUSHIE YOURE SO ME I ALWAYS DO THAT WHEN I GET UPSET 💀💀💀 i’m sending u smooches MWAH MWAH

#ᡣ𐭩 carina’s love letters #ᡣ𐭩 from user: pe4rl diver

[fyorina]

okay so i read the newest part really late last night so i read it again just now and i SGABGHFHVJDHGJFF i have many things to say

“I’ll be back later tonight… wait for me?” “Yeah,” you finally agree, voice wavering. “I’ll wait for you.” hey now. that one kinda hurt.

“Fate, the word haunts him, curses him, he wants to spit in its face but every passing day reminds him that the gods must be laughing down at him.” IM ABOUT TO THROW HANDS W FATE IDGAF 

THE FLASHBACKS. THATS ENOUGH. DONT DO THAT TO ME.

“i am NOT coming to ur funeral.” our friends are so real tho 😭😭😭

THE KISS !! THE KISS THE KISS THE KISS

“and god, you want him.” YES TF I DO ‼️‼️

“it’s unfair, you might die” CARINA WE TALKED ABOUT THIS

“The man lets out a sigh of what can only be utter suffering, lifting his head to look up to the ceiling as if asking a higher deity ‘why me?’” chuuya ily you don’t get paid enough to deal with dazais shit

THE SCENE W HIM COMING BACN TO THE EMPTY APARTMENT IM SCREAMING. THE FLASHBACKS. THE PURE PANIC. I JUST.

“the way you meet him (although you’re always the one to find him), the way you die (he always finds you though),” hey so what the fuck.

the sunsets im sobbing 😭

WALKING TO THE EDGE OF THE ROOF??? AND STAYING THERE???? that shit made me so nervous my heart was in my ass for the entirety of this scene

the pov change at the end omfg i wanted to cry

UGH anyways ty for listening to my ramblings ily and your writing have a great day/night!! 🫶

TUMBLR USER PE4RL-DIVER WELCOME BACKKKK IVE MISSED YOU

dazai and his legendary beef with hate will never not make me snort - every time someone comments or sends an ask about it, it makes me giggle because this man is TRULY ready to throw hands with gods at this point

NOOOO WE LOVE THE FLASHBACKS <33333 it's not the end of them either!!!

I WAS SOOOOO EXCITED TO WRITE THE KISS - i wanted i to be in chapter 2 soooo bad but i just couldn't figure out a way to cleanly weave it in so i had to push it off</3 BUT I THINK IT WAS WORTH IT

HELP MEEEEE I CAN'T HELP IT also it's partially because i'm dramatic and every time something slightly inconvenient happens im seeking death so </3

CHUUYA IS SOOOO FUNNY BC YOU KNOW HE'S SO SICK OF DAZAI'S BULLSHIT LOLLLL poor man questions his existence every day

the pov change was such a last minute decision BUT im rlly happy i went with it because it also gave me an idea for uu6 that i think im going to try to implement so we shall see how it goes

TYYYY FOR SENDING YOUR RAMBLINGS ILY HAVE A WONDERFUL DAY

#ᡣ𐭩 carina’s love letters #ᡣ𐭩 from user: pe4rl diver

[fyorina]

“It’s so embarrassing, you think you might die” “‘I’ll never survive.’” “You might die.” “you think you might really die now” “And just like that, you’re a goner.” “he knows that he’s a goner.” “Dazai thinks he might die.”

so you’re not trying to imply anything with this are you 🤨🤨🤨

HELP MEEEEEEE AIUDFHAUSIFDHASDUIFDFS IF YOU'D HEARD THE NOISE I JUST LET OUT I DID NOT REALIZE I ADDED THOSE SO MANY TIMES IM CRYINGGGGGG LITERALLY ONLY TWO OF THOSE WERE INTENTIONAL THE "I'LL NEVER SURVIVE" AND THE "JUST LIKE THAT, YOU'RE A GONER"

#ᡣ𐭩 carina’s love letters #ᡣ𐭩 from user: pe4rl-diver #heheeeheehehehhehehehehehehhe