#♪ to find the proper way to live 「 main 」

[soukouku]

AND AREN’T WE ALL WAITING, ACHING, TO BE READ BY SOMEONE ジェット | @celestiel​

noise streamed from the television in the corner,   images projected across the room,   bright lights cascading around his home.   he didn’t know what was playing and he hadn’t noticed when he stopped paying attention,   just that it hadn’t been able to interest him.   he sat on the couch,   knees bent and his arms wrapped around them,   holding them close to his chest.   a laugh track erupted from the television and he frowned,   his eyes empty as he rested his chin atop his knee.   every night was the same,   the same monotony,   the same emptiness,   a black hole that had dragged him in with the intention to never let him go.

he heard a soft patter outside his front door,   but he didn’t bother to look and see who it was. there was only one person he knew who moved like that at a time like this.   his eyes close momentarily,   if only the night sky had been more beautiful tonight.   perhaps then it could have been the last thing he ever saw.

dazai slides off the couch and puts on a bright expression,   swinging open the door just before she can knock,   ❛   kaze kaze !   ❜   he exclaims excitedly,   ❛   what are you doing here so late  ?   ❜   he peeks his head out the door,   looking to the left and then the right,   as if in search of enemies,   ❛   are you being chased by someone  ?  heh-heh did you come running to me to save you  ?  ❜

#celestiel. #♪ to find the proper way to live 「 main 」 #no icon for now bc i wanna redo them :clown: #but i may just randomly interject one once i've done that later on in the thread #SO feel free to use one also bc i like her face

[soukouku]

continued from here  + @feralspent​

❛   wake up, akutagawa.   ❜   his voice is dry,   void of all emotion  as he stares down at the boy that had once been his subordinate.   ❛   pathetic,   ❜   he sneers,   ❛   you were meant to grow stronger these past years,   not weaker.   ❜   of course,   akutagawa  has  grown strong,   in all the ways that dazai had predicted when he met him in the woods that night.   he remembered telling odasaku that he’d had the opportunity to grow into  the strongest ability user  the port mafia had ever seen,   but he wasn’t there,   not yet.   he needed to be in order to deal with  that demon  when the time came.   they were running out of time.

he crouches down,   jabbing his finger into akutagawa’s shoulder as his lips twisted into a smug grin,   ❛   go ahead,   try again.   use that  worthless  ability of yours to try and kill me.   you’re angry,   aren’t you  ?   ❜   he laughs,   pushing up and standing once more,   ❛   so show me.   prove  you listened.   ❜

#i may have shed a tear writing this :D #i had to keep taking breaks bc daz made me upset LMAOOAOOO #feralspent. #♪ to find the proper way to live 「 main 」

[soukouku]

MY GRIEF WILL DIE WITH ME - IT WILL CLEAVE AND GROW LIKE ANTLERS ジュライク  |  @juraiku​

the lights are low,   just as they always were,   but they were  warm  in a way that made it so the cold was checked at the door.   he slides onto his usual stool,   waving a hand at the bartender,   ❛   the usual   !   ❜   within seconds a glass is set in front of him and the bartender gets to work on making two more drinks.   voices waft in from the entrance,   the two of them bickering about something related to curry.   ❛   odasaku  !   ango  !   ❜   dazai beams,   turning his head in the direction of his friends,   patting the stool next to him,   ❛   you won’t believe the case i solved  !  i got to...   ❜   he drums his palms atop the bar in anticipation,   ❛   handle a dud  !   can you believe it  ?  it was so exciting i couldn’t wait to tell you both  !   ❜

ango gently rolls his eyes,   used to dazai’s antics and oda flashes him a thumbs up.   he moves closer to them,   throwing an arm around oda  , ❛   did you finish your chapter odasaku  ?!  you didn’t let ango read it first did you  ?  i called dibs  !   ❜   ango lifts a finger, pushing his glasses further up the bridge of his nose with a scoff,  ‘ you did no such thing ’ .   oda reaches into his coat and sets a manuscript atop the bar,   his lips curved,  ‘ the kids had at it first. ’ dazai sucks in a dramatic breath,   his hand covering his heart and his eyes closing,   ❛   odasaku  !  how  dare  you i am betrayed,   heartbroken,   you have ruined me —   ❜   it suddenly feels too quiet.   when he opens his eyes once more,   he’s not in lupin.   ango is not there.   he’s kneeling over oda’s body,   blood covering his hands.   ❛   ...eh  ?   ❜   it’s quiet, the only sound being the wind that tears through the trees outside.

he doesn’t understand.   oda had  survived  mimic,   he had only faked his death,   dazai had gone underground,   ango had gone back to his work in the special operations division.   four years had passed and they had spent the time together,   they had spent the time happy.   so why  ?!  why was he here  ?!   why wouldn’t he respond  ?!   his throat closes in on itself,   his lungs constricting at the sight beneath him.

dazai gasps,   shooting up and eyes opening wide,   his hand outstretched,   ❛   ODASAKU  !   ❜   he screams the name,   staring at his friend’s figure before him.   the image flickers and disappears.   ❛   oda...saku.   ❜   his voice is quiet,   tremors in his tone,   fear washing over him. dazai looks around,   he’s in a hospital.   it all comes back to him,   the secret meeting,   the needle that had pricked his neck,   the hallucinations.    none of it had been real.   oda had died that night against mimic,   he hadn’t been able to save him.   slowly,   as if the motion required all the effort in the world,   dazai pulled his knees to his chest,   wrapping his arms around his legs and pressing his forehead into his knees.   why  ?  why couldn’t it be real  ?   why did odasaku have to die ?!

#juraiku. #♪ to find the proper way to live 「 main 」

[soukouku]

芥川 銀 ,  @kirazuke​ :

the only ghost that had ever haunted dazai was the one buried deep in his own soul,   the one that clawed to find meaning in a hopeless,   empty world.   all of the lives he had ended,   all of the light he had watched leave this world,   none of them had ever stuck with him.   not until now.   odasaku !   his own voice plays on repeat in his mind,   an echo of the events of his friend’s death,   imagining all of the ways he might have prevented it.   a futile task,   he could not bring him back,   but dazai had found himself riddled with something he’d always detested :   endless amounts of time.

quiet as she may have been,   he heard her footsteps,   but he made no effort to move from where he sat,   criss-cross on a chair,   his hands folded in his lap and his eyes closed.   dazai smiled and looked up  —  the grin didn’t even come close to reaching his eyes.   ❛   ah gin  !  how ironic  !  i was just thinking of ghosts.   you’re working towards becoming one yourself,   aren’t you  ?   ❜   he chuckles as though he’s told some kind of joke,   ❛   you know it’s rude not to knock.   ❜   he’d settled into a small home on the edge of town,   but he’d never had intentions to stay very long.   it seemed his time here would be coming to a close.   his arms raise and he lets out a quiet groan as he stretches,    ❛   have you come to kill me or ask me to return  ?   ❜

he hops up,   twisting his body in an attempt to crack his back,   going into hiding was so taxing.   ❛   ah how rude of me  !   ❜   dazai’s smile deepens,   ❛   i’m not being very hospitable...   am i  ?  i’ve forgotten to offer you tea  !   ❜

#kirazuke. #THIS IS A BIT LONG SO DON'T WORRY ABOUT MATCHING #AH IM EXCITED #♪ to find the proper way to live 「 main 」