スマホを解析されて、薬物売買のログを見せられたときのレポ
―逮捕から7日目。この日は2回目の検事調べが予定されており、今回はワゴン車による単独の護送ではなく、護送車での複数人共同の護送になるとのことで、僕は初めて護送車に乗れることを少し楽しみにしていた。
朝8時30分頃、点呼とともに居室から出され、留置場の出入り口扉の前に連れていかれると、扉の前には既に2人の収容者が縦一列に並ばされており、僕はその2人の後尾に立つよう指示をされる。そして例によって身体検査をされると、いつもよりキツく手錠をかけられる。
その後、留置官が先頭の収容者の手錠の間の輪に、通常より長い腰縄を通してから腰に巻き付け、同じ要領で、その長い腰縄を中間の収容者、そして後尾の僕に巻き付け、見事に3人を数珠繋ぎにすると、その長い腰縄を自分の腰につけているフックに括りつけ、後尾に立つ僕の後ろについた。
それから、3人の前後に警官が3人ずつついた体制で、地下の駐車場まで連行され、しばし駐車場で待機をしていると、白色と灰青色のツートーンカラーで、黒色のスモークガラス窓のマイクロバスがやってきて、3人の手前に停車した。
僕はその時まで、護送車とは、青地に白のラインが入っている、窓に金網のついたバス型の車だと思っていたので、実際の護送車がひどく凡庸なことにがっかりした。
上が護送車、下は人員輸送車(警察官を輸送する車)
そうして、3人は連結されたまま護送車に乗せられる。護送車の車内は、右側2座席に左側1座席の3列配置で並んでおり、窓には鉄格子が嵌められていて、運転席との間には壁があって全く見えないようになっていた。
また、護送車は周辺地域の警察署を順繰りにまわり、地検に移送する被疑者らを拾っていくシステムのようで、すでに15人ほどの先客が座っていた。
彼ら15人は、非常に長いロープで数珠つなぎにさせられており、全員が上下グレーのスウェットに茶色の便所サンダルの恰好で、手錠をかけられ、姿勢よく無言で着座しているので、捕虜の集団のようだった。
車内にいた警官らによって、3人は各自指定された座席に座ると、3人を連結していた長い腰縄が外され、今度は15人を連結している非常に長いロープに括り付けられる。
18人の被疑者と1本のロープによる数珠が完成すると、1人の警官が、「車内では会話や目配せはもちろん、足を組むのも禁止する」などという護送車内の規則を、大声かつ歯切りのよい口調で説明していた。
車内に5人ほどいる警官らも、これだけの逮捕者を移送するというだけあってか、非常に緊張感を持った面持ちで、ちょっとでも無駄に声を発したら怒鳴られそうな緊迫感がある。
僕は幸い、右側2座席の窓側の席であったので、外の景色でも見て気を紛らわせていようと思った。なんだったら、前回の単独移送では、両隣に警官が座っていて、窓はほぼ塞がれている状態だったので、久しぶりに外の景色を見られることは楽しみだった。
そうして、護送車が出発する。捕虜同然の惨めな状態というのもあってか、留置場では見ることのない格好や表情をした道行く人々を見ると、外の世界は自分とはもう関係がないように思えてきて、非常にセンチメンタルな気持ちになる。梅雨時で曇天模様だったのがまだ救いであった。
出発からおよそ1時間が経過し、護送車が地検に到着する。護送車のドアが開くと、地検で待機していた警官がドア横に立ち、日本陸軍の点呼のような厳格さを感じる大声で「第三系統! 総員十八名!」と号令をする。車内の被疑者らが数珠つなぎにされたまま、1人ずつ車内から降りていくと、その警官はやはり日本陸軍のように「一!二!三!…」と点呼をとっていた。
数珠つなぎのまま連行され、待合室のある広間に出ると、そこには前回よりもはるかに多い、100人弱の被疑者らがおり、見るからに力士のような者からヤクザのような者まで、前回より威圧感のある男が多く集結していて、全体的に迫力があった。
また今回は人数が多いためか、警官の人数が多く、警官らはみな厳格な号令と点呼を行い、鋭い眼光で被疑者らを監視しているので、今までに味わったことのない張り詰めた空気が漂っている。
それから例によって、待合室という名の牢屋で、座る者の事など考えていない直角の硬い椅子にすし詰め状態で座らされ、時間もわからないままひたすら待ち、昼食時にコッペパンを食べ、いつ自分が呼ばれるか分からないまま、またひたすら待つ。相変わらず地獄。
おそらく3時くらいになってようやくお呼びがかかり、僕は一人の警官に連れられて、検事のいる部屋に入室した。あくまで検事が起訴か不起訴かを決めるので、入室の際、僕は少しでも検事の心証を良くしようと、礼節を重んじている風の挨拶を決め込む。
前回同様、義務的な質問などがされ、黙秘権について告知がされるので、僕はここぞとばかりに、昨日弁護士にアドバイスされた通りに、「担当の弁護士さんから抗議書が送られていると思いますが、昨日、留置担当官の方に「ブチ殺す」などの脅迫を受けて、警察や検察の方を信用できなくなったので、取り調べには協力できません」などと、あくまで被害者ぶった深刻な表情で言う。
すると検察官は、こちらの会心の一撃をまるで意に介さないような表情と口調で「わかりました。その件についてはこちらでも事実確認と調査を行ってまいります」などと流暢に返事をし、「ただ、本日は見ていただきたい資料があるので、応えられるものに関しては応えていただけませんか?」と尋ねてきた。
僕はその見せたい資料とやらが気になったので、「資料は見せていただきたいですが、黙秘はします」と応えると、検察官はそれを了承し、A4サイズの紙が200枚ほど綴じられている分厚いバインダーを取り出して、付箋の貼ってあるページを開き、僕に見せてきた。
そのページには、僕がプッシャーから薬物を買おうとやり取りしていた、Telegramのログ画面の写真が貼り付けてあった。
僕はまず、そもそもスマホの解析承諾をしていなかったので、無断で解析をされていたことに度肝を抜かれたし、露骨な薬物売買の証拠を見せられて、少し動揺が出てしまった。
ただ幸い、今回一緒に逮捕されたプッシャーとのやり取りのログは完全に消去していたし、見せられたログは、僕が「在庫はいかがですか?」と尋ね、プッシャーが「こちらになります」と隠語で書かれた薬物のメニュー表を画像で添付して送り、僕がそれを既読無視しているという、購入の意思を見せていない内容ではあった。
メニュー表のイメージ
ちなみにTelegramにはパスコードロックをかけていなかった。
検察官は僕が動揺している隙に、「これは、あなたが薬物を購入しようとして、売人にコンタクトをとったものじゃないですか?」と単刀直入に質問をしてくる。
僕は、このログについてはどうとでも取り繕って否定できそうだったので、つい否定をしたくなったが、下手に喋ってボロを出しては検察の思う壺なので、「黙秘します」と応える。
それに対し、検察官は無言で頷き、プッシャーが提示していたメニュー表の画像を指さして、「この“罰”っていうのは、コカインのことですよね?」と尋ねてくる。
僕は反射的に、「いえ、罰はMDMAの隠語です」と本当に危うく口走りそうになったが、一呼吸置いて「黙秘します」と応えると、検察官はやはり無言で頷き、再び付箋の貼ってある別のページを開いて、僕に見せてくる。
そのページには、一緒に捕まった友人の吉岡とのLINEでのやり取りの写真が貼ってあり、どう見ても薬物を言い表した代名詞でのやり取りや、それに付随して、「悟ってる時の顔」などと言って、僕がLSDのピーク中に目を瞑って微笑んでいる顔写真を吉岡に送りつけている赤面不可避のログも載っていた。
当然、これらに関する質問にも黙秘を貫いたが、検察官は少し呆れた表情で、「…うん。でもね、小林さん(一緒に捕まったプッシャーの本名)のTwitterアカウントのリンクが、吉岡さんからあなたに送られているんですね」などと言って、今度はそのログの写真を見せてきた。
僕は吉岡とは完全にクロな証拠のやり取りをしていなかったつもりでいたので、これにはさすがに焦りを感じたが、そのメッセージの前後に脈絡はなく、リンクだけが送られているという内容のログではあったので、これだけでは証拠として不十分であろうとは思った。
検察官は続けて、「この小林さんのアカウントにコンタクトを取って、小林さんから大麻を購入したんじゃないですか?」と名推理をしてきたが、僕はなんとか無表情をキープしたまま、「黙秘します」とだけ言っておいた。
検察官は表情を変えず、「わかりました。それでは本日はこれで以上です」などと言って、この日の取り調べは終わることになり、僕は当然、調書への署名・押印を拒否して、部屋を後にした。
・
つづく
・
この物語はフィクションです。また、あらゆる薬物犯罪の防止・軽減を目的としています( ΦωΦ )
#フィクション#エッセイ#大麻#大麻取り締まられレポ
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Midoriya Izuku: Narrative Structures and Character's Emotion(al Repression)
Repression as A Story In Four Acts.
Or: Reaching Tenku to Save Tenko.
Izuku hasn't accomplished his goal of saving Tenko because according to literally every law of storytelling, he has yet more internal conflicts to solve, which he hasn’t addressed due to his nature of repression, which itself comes from other fatal flaws. Therefore, Tenko’s salvation, which should’ve been the “reward” for Izuku’s difficulties, is now another obstacle at the “end” of act 3 before Act 4 eventually begins. To elaborate:
BNHA, as of now, is split in three sagas — U.A. Beginnings (001-099); Rise of Villains (100-306) and; Final War (307-onwards); similar to the three-act structure in the west. However, by splitting Act 3 into Act 4; we meet East Asia's method of splitting a narrative: Kishōtenketsu. Using the Hero's Journey wheel as a counterpart, roughly we have:
Act 1/Kiku (起句) — Call to adventure, the inticing incidents and stage's set-up for;
Act 2/Shōku (承句) — The rising action; true conflict that will soon culminate, leading to the climax, so we head into:
Act 3/Tenku (転句) — The transformation that leads to the resolution of conflicts, so the story meets the denouement;
Act 4/Kekku (結句): the epilogue. If the consequences must come to fruition, the results must bloom at the end as it wraps up.
Similarly, BNHA presents the classic Four Conflicts: Against Man and Society; All For One and the hero world; Nature, the nature of Quirks; and Self, arguably the most important of them all.
As such, Izuku’s story is easier to see when split into these acts, and so are his conflicts. Planting this seed: Izuku wants to be a hero, but being quirkless is his status quo until the Sludge Villain incident. Presenting the question: How can Midoriya Izuku be a hero? Katsuki being attacked and All Might’s offer are the inciting incidents, and everything from USJ onwards are his brushes to growing conflicts that grow into the Kamino Incident, ending his personal arc in Act 1/Start of Act 2 during Deku vs. Kacchan 2 and The Three.
The rising actions and the new development from Kamino, lead to the rush to control One For All, becoming a new Symbol and what that entails, and more subtly, fixing his and Katsuki’s relationship (i’ll get to this one. oh boy i’ll get to this one soon.) These are Izuku’s conflicts.
His role as one as Toshinori's successor officially puts in center stage of the conflict alongside Katsuki (subtly, also a successor, permanent deuteragonist) and Tenko (foil, recurring antagonist, and the Big Bad’s successor). If controlling the current form of OFA was already accomplished (45% at least), it needes to evolve into another phase; one that ties with his fatal flaws and challenges his virtues. As such: Overhaul Arc shows Eri’s ordeal, Sir Nighteye’s doubts of AM’s choice, and subsequent death (the former conflicts), and Joint Training Arc introduces unlocking of Black Whip (his latter one) are his turning points.
All feed into his insecurities and repression of emotions such as (oftentimes righteous) anger, uncertainty, vulnerability and heartbreak. He doesn’t solve these conflicts just yet, instead choosing to brush it away or let them play out as they happen, a passive instance. For the former arc, it’s understandable because he was under Sir Nighteye’s internship orders, but the latter is a special case, as it ties with an emotional conflict in which we only saw his thoughts at the very beginning of the turning point.
Which, before entering Arc 3, also brings me to another topic: Narrative rewards and punishments.
The root of Izuku's character is stubbornness: When Izuku sticks to the convictions he believes in, and he does it stubbornly, often the hopeful narrative of Boku no Hero Academia rewards him, but when he goes against it (contradicting his morality and/or the story’s messages), the punishment ends up being severe. He’s far from the only example, but he’s the most prominent one. As such, BNHA prides itself in introspection of motivations and embracing every emotion and experiences as stepping stones to be the greatest you can be.
Izuku… Stubbornly also hasn’t gotten that kind of introspection yet. Keyword being yet. He's the character we know little about despite spending so much time in his point of view, and it's deliberate. The few moments he does, is when the roots of his insecurities are reinforced, or when he's dealing with someone else’s obstacle. Talk about others and avoid thinking about yourself.
If I were to describe Izuku; the best descriptors would be: kind, but melancholic. Altruistic, grateful, mostly selfless, but will destroy himself for others without realizing. Reckless, sticks to his values. Competitive and a little envious, but it's born out of admiration, pride and love. But overall, keeps so close to his chest while spouting praises for others out of what he wished he had before.
But in one sentence? This little shit is such a stubborn mule it'd get him killed.
The best example is from Act 1 itself, Summer Training Camp arc. In this, we see the first glimpse of someone he should strive to be: Someone who wins to save people. His reward is saving Kota and Tokoyami, but his recklessness in reaching for Katsuki alone and without a plan ends up costing him a win. The tally goes to the League of Villains; not a total disaster, but they got what they wanted in the end.
Happens again in Act 2, by failing to rescue Eri the first time he and Mirio meet her. Both find out she was tied to Overhaul’s operation, and the feeling of guilt is one of the reasons that makes them want to try again. Somewhat related to Izuku, it’s Sir Nighteye’s conviction that Izuku is unworthy that proves years of fatalistic views wrong too late, as his unwillingness to see what makes Izuku a good choice ends up being corrected as he’s already mortally wounded.
Gentle, La Brava and Lady Nagant are also good examples of the narrative punishing these characters for their nihilistic views, and when they’re shown they have another choice, the story takes them out and as they’ve changed their minds to a more hopeful view, gives them another chance in Act 3. After all, second chances and atonements are Boku no Hero’s cup of tea (Sir Nighteye's wasted his in fatality, stubbornness, unwillingness to change). Which is why characters like Muscular, Ending and the Sludge Villain are not given the grace of a proper sendoff, and All For One got such a rather undignified finale.
Returning to Izuku: Because his internal conflicts weren't challenged yet, and therefore the only visible developments he’s gotten were merely power upgrades, this bites him back by the end of Act 2 and continues in Act 3, the first hit being the most critical one. The things he repressed for the sake of others aren’t willing to stay like that anymore. Furthermore, going against his one consistent conviction and fighting Tenko with tunnel vision on winning, regardless of who needs saving, brings another conflict for him.
Izuku is trapped in Shōku. And that leads to Act 3, where his flaws branch out into four main symptoms amplified by trauma in the Dark Hero Arc, which remain, at the time of this writing, unsolved:
Detachment, fueled by selflessness. Choosing to take every risk on his own, Izuku has thoroughly detached his wants and needs from each other and himself. By not letting others get hurt, that means he doesn’t care if he himself gets hurt anymore, accidentally making himself a martyr. Detaching himself could arguably be the reason he doesn't acknowledge Katsuki at all in the battlefield, or doesn't really ponder on what happens to the vestiges/quirks when destroying AFO (and lets Tenko... well, we'll get there.) All For One vs. One For All.
Recklessness: Izuku’s naturally that by design, and it’s treated as the mark of a hero: "intervening even when they don’t want your help". At its most extreme, however, he goes alone, so Izuku can’t rely on others for help, and the way he wants to fix everything turns into his modus operandi on overdrive. Despite being careful and calculated, he ignores who and what he needs to continue, until he physically can’t. He’s on the other side of that sentence without realizing it. Suicidal recklessness.
Arrogance: A fatal flaw hidden in him but mirrored in his biggest foil. By believing he’s the only person that can handle AFO, hiding all his emotions and trying to be pragmatic, he becomes increasingly arrogant. “All of you, you can’t keep up”, a sentence fitting for someone like Katsuki, not Izuku. He still shows shades of this, even as others try to convince him he's not alone, and the narrative proves him wrong by letting other characters interfere.
Finally, the ropes of repression. Izuku isn’t a very introspective character for himself; he’s a very unreliable narrator because he never stops to fully talk about what he feels; the last time we got something like that was in Deku vs. Kacchan 2. As Deku, he wants to be strong, dependant, not let others worry about himself. As Midoriya, he’s the friend who lends you a shoulder to cry on (and cries along), gives you good advice, is there for you. But who is he as Izuku?
What are his other interests, his feelings on society, or on what is and isn’t fair? More recently, Katsuki’s apology, death, what does that mean for them now? Tenko’s identity as that kid who was crying and as Tomura, who hurt the people he loves, what does he think? Toshinori, as someone who was an idol and now it’s a label closer than mentor-mentee, almost dying? He hasn’t had time to reflect on them, but only recently Izuku's lack of introspection has become noticeable for the audience- placing us in Katsuki's shoes; intuitively, we know what Izuku's gonna do, but can we really tell what Izuku's currently thinking? If at all?
Not-so-recently (for the audience), he’s "moved on" very quickly from Lady Nagant blowing up in his face, seeing All For One single him out as a target, two mobs being so hostile Danger Sense got triggered, and Aoyama's role as a traitor. Except, not really. Everything Izuku’s gone through has been locked in a vault, and despite every character being reactive to it, Izuku doesn’t allow himself to dwell on anything that’ll make him remotely angry or sad anymore. There is one exception and even then Mirio had to prevent him from letting it out.
By failing to start introspecting in Act 2 in any of these, they bring back his internal conflicts, while adding a new two new ones to a pre-existing one, leading us to the Classic Man vs. Conflict part of this meta:
Control One For All (Man vs. Nature): Izuku had the theoretic part of it down; using it as his tools to help, but being Quirkless for so long means he lacked the intuitive part of it; the one that treats Quirks as muscle memories instead. So instead of second nature, they’re more like advisor crutches that can easily lose control; and momentarily as it was, they have, in Deku vs. All For One.
He controls only the mechanics, but never secured himself in believing they’re his power. And since Izuku is easily someone willing to give more than he should, it’s very representative that in giving up One For All, Izuku essentially embodied the definition of “you give an inch, they take a mile”. Or better, you give Tenko a hand, All For One takes an arm. It wasn’t the wrong choice, but an easy trap he fell in.
Izuku, while able to work out the theory, never really gained full control of a Quirk supposedly his own. Which is why it’s so odd his Quirk gets taken away now. Whether he shall remain Quirkless or receive a version of OFA, remains to be seen. I believe it isn't the last of OFA yet, but it's always a 50/50 chance.
Being a future Symbol of Peace (Man vs. Society/Men):
“Men are not born equal. That is the lesson [Izuku] learned at the age of four.”
At this point, “being a symbol” means something else now. For this to even have a shot of happening, Izuku has to find out what being a hero means, by including him as a person in the narrative. And for that, All For One, as the man representative of society’s worst symptoms, needed to go.
It’s no coincidence he and Izuku have many similarities, as both have a fascination with Quirks, are the only ones capable of wielding multiple at once, and grew as lonely; AFO by having a Quirk, Izuku by lacking one. Izuku can be possessive, he recognizes this as an ugly trait, but AFO acts out and relishes in it. It makes too much sense that he's one of the few characters able to lay a hand on AFO; If Yoichi is the version of Izuku whose love wasn't strong enough to reach out, AFO is the version of Izuku lacking understanding, love or empathy.
We Are Here and Midoriya Izuku: Rising show he is by all accounts considered one by every character, but his Rising isn’t finished until he finds out what being a hero means to him, without disregarding his personhood, and realizing he was always one, Quirk or not. He has succeeded in proving society wrong, and proved AFO wrong in every way that mattered. A quirkless nobody defeating the Demon Lord wannabe.
As stated in a previous post of mine, Izuku’s own Rising chapter is the opposite of his Origin because now everyone supports him, roots for him. Despite being weak, he has the strength to get back up and try to do his best… But this isn’t his best right now, which is why Izuku’s Rising isn’t finished.
Control your heart/His relationship with Katsuki/Saving Tenko (Man vs. Self):
This is Izuku’s true conflict; the question of his own personhood tied to the worthiness of his dreams and feelings.
“Can someone be a hero, even without a Quirk?”
Starting with the first conflict, from That Which Is Inherited to The New Power and All For One, “control your heart” are introduced as new arc words for Izuku himself; and a foreshadowing of the problems he’ll face when not addressed. In fact, Izuku’s aware the trigger for Black Whip must’ve had an external factor. Whether he’s oblivious or willfully ignoring what exactly happened is unclear, but he’s at least aware of who triggered it. And not thinking about it only makes Katsuki suffer the brunt of it, his Achilles’ Heel.
The second is the constant conflict since MI: Origin— Izuku isn’t someone blind to Katsuki’s flaws; in fact he’s the most aware of them, despite fandom perception. The thing that a lot of readers seem to miss is that he admires all of Katsuki, even if he was envious of him, and as those flaws ended up causing him a lot of pain. Which is noticeable the lack of interactions on Izuku’s part upon rewatching the first two acts as he was often the one seeking a relationship with Katsuki, while currently it’s the other way around.
It’s not a coincidence but a red sign; a herring or a flag, depending on the ending of One For All vs. All For One: Despite the bullying, Izuku still chose to perceive Katsuki’s good and heroic traits, when by all accounts he’s within his rights to refuse Katsuki in his life. I bring this up because Izuku and Katsuki are the main foils of the story… Which also makes Katsuki a foil of Tenko’s. This is an interesting factor. Izuku could’ve chosen to react to Katsuki’s apology then and there, but there might be three reasons not to:
The emotional conflict parallels Deku vs. Kacchan 2; Act 1’s turning point for the story was Kamino, but the incident pushes them together. Izuku and Katsuki’s relationship is the true turning point of the story as a whole because they’re the ones who fully feel the effects of the incident. The side effect intrinsically ties them, as a unit, to the main plot. Their choices are the true climax of the story.
Izuku forgiving Katsuki before fighting Tenko reveals Tenko’s fate or worse, seals it in a worse one. He hasn’t processed it, and intuitively, we know Izuku will do it, but to have it happen right before confronting Tenko means his actions are downplayed. Everything Izuku did would be a given, and meaningless. What does it mean to give a hand to someone in pain, when this person hurts you? He wanted to save Tenko, but wouldn’t that mean accepting that crying kid is also the man who hurt the ones he loves?
Izuku controlling his emotions isn’t just about Katsuki. He’s a huge trigger for his feelings… Including what he doesn’t like feeling. Repressing everything, detaching himself from that kid who once tried defending a kid in a playground despite having no Quirks, only means Izuku isn’t doing his best. That’s the mask of the “Deku, who’s strong, who’s fine, who can do everything, who always does his best”. Izuku reaching out to Tenko meant to share that sadness, the burdens from when they were young. Tenko did, so in theory, he shed the Shigaraki Tomura mask, but Izuku didn’t, so he’s still bottling his emotions to its breaking point.
So. Izuku's still in his Shōku. But we’re stuck in Act 3. Tenku (heh). Not enough resolutions, no conflicts fully solved. The Status Quo was challenged, changed? But where’s Izuku’s own turning point? The lack of introspections turns what should be Izuku’s rewards for going through the hero’s journey into an obstacle yet to be surpassed. His emotions are the turning point of the entire story, after all, right?
Narratively, Izuku has internally failed to pass the third part of the Kishōtenketsu: Transformation. His emotional conflicts weren’t dwelled on, and as such, he could only do so much to save Tenko. He can’t relate to Shigaraki Tomura, only Shimura Tenko, the crying kid. Every person is a hero in their own story, but anyone can be a villain. It’s what makes us connect to them. Izuku refused until he couldn’t anymore.
For comparison: Ochako doesn't know Toga Himiko, but her tears humanized her in Ochako's view; she wants to know what does Himiko value, what drove her to be who she is. Shoto doesn't truly know Touya, but knows the path it took for him to become Dabi, and wants to reconnect with his brother, at least a little. Shoji and Koda don't agree with Spinner but it's because they know what drives the mob to follow him. Hizashi doesn't see Shirakumo in Kurogiri but Aizawa does, which is why he becomes crucial in the endgame. All of them have a chance at surviving.
As it is, Shigaraki Tomura decayed, marked by All For One. Does that Izuku doing his best lead to a sacrifice? Neither heroes nor villains win. Which brings us back to reward and punishment: Izuku’s punishment for not solving his conflicts, means reaching out to Tenko was a doomed plan from the very beginning. His heart was not controlled while he had One For All, he’s unconvinced he could be a hero from the beginning despite earning his title, and he failed to save that crying kid. Using a power meant to save.
What message would that bring then? Both for a groomed child to believe he was born a monster, to die knowing that was true, that he never had a choice? Does that mean he could've only found peace in his death? And what does that mean for Izuku, who wanted to avoid an outcome where that kid died? Especially when Izuku previously would be fighting tooth and nails, blood, sweat and (many) tears to stop Tenko from destroying himself?
The story isn’t black and white, but it has always depicted abuse victims and their survivors respectfully, and the idea of the child that needed saving the most, dying before a chance of redemption goes against one message: That anyone can, and deserves to be a hero, in any way, shape or form. To have that glimmer of hope, of faith. It brings me the quote:
"Tenko, do you still want to be a hero?"
If Tenko doesn't get a choice, or a chance to respond, that means Izuku wasn’t doing his best just yet.
This enters prediction territory, which I don't usually make, but. In my honest opinion?
I think this is the moment Izuku finally reaches Tenku —Insecurities and repression of righteous anger, over not being able to keep his promise of saving that kid, uncertainty, for not being able to be a hero that saves people with a smile, vulnerability over realizing this is it, this “was the last act” of Hero Deku, and heartbreak. How can he call himself a hero if he can’t save a single child? Whether he likes it or not, now this is his Tenku, because Midoriya Izuku doesn’t walk away from this without being able to save Tenko.
He can’t; otherwise he can’t be considered the World’s Greatest Hero, if he doesn’t fulfill his half of “Win to Save, Save to Win”. That means a perfect victory, minimal to no casualties, is unachievable. All For One wins even if he loses, name tied to Shigaraki Tomura, the Symbol of Fear. He doesn’t get One For All, but gets to take down Tenko with him, so Tenko doesn't get to die free, even as a sacrifice of his choice. Unlike Eri, who was freed from the shackles of Overhaul, Tenko didn't get that chance. The Shimura bloodline dies, and Izuku doesn't prove their generation is different, better than the previous heroes. That doesn't sound fair, does it?
A failure he seemingly couldn’t avoid, or one he could’ve but was unable to? The lowest point Izuku can face, where he’s faced with the worst things that can happen to him has happened twice already in the same arc already; if we consider the time in-universe, the time between Katsuki’s death and Tenko’s death was at worst in the same hour. With everything that happened since the start of this saga; it’s been at best a month’s overdue of a breakdown. Thus, the missing introspection from him.
I believe it’s now beneficial that Izuku can't access One For All: there are no signs of the mask from “the strongest Hero who always does his best”— This is the Quirkless kid who wanted to save people with a smile. And if he can’t do that, does that mean he’s the useless Deku who can’t do anything?
Despite being more receptive to words, Izuku is a character who can't be trusted with what he says, instead what he does. He mumbles all he sees, cries rivers for others, but those green eyes will show you waters waiting to turn into a flooding storm. His actions will always overcompensate for his true thoughts he'd never share, because his thoughts only matter when you ask: What do you really know about Midoriya Izuku?
Nobody would have an answer, except for the one person who managed to misread him for ten years.
Izuku is by far the most reckless character, and stubborn to a fault. He'll pretend he's fine so others won't worry, so he can keep lying to himself a little more, but it's a mask to hide how much he's gonna hate himself, think he's a failure for this. Seeing him give up like that isn’t like him, now, is it? And that truth needs to come from the person, who, while not the only one to make Izuku question his worth, is the only one that can take him out of this mentality. Someone who matches that stubbornness, makes him listen to the truth. And makes him truly let the flood out, even if others think it unpleasant.
To counteract hopelessness, Izuku needs Katsuki. To finally ask out how any of what he experienced was fair. What good was all this pain. Why all of this, for a fight he lost this badly? For a person he couldn't save? For a dream that will never happen? For a Quirk that was never his, that he didn't get to keep? For a life where no one believed in him, were they proven right not to? Didn't he deserve better? He would know, having tried to leave him behind for a decade and realizing he can't go through it, when they just started being equals again.
If their feelings did become one, Katsuki then must be able to read Izuku like a notebook kept close to his chest and give him the right, truthful answers. Their walls aren't around anymore and Katsuki's now become the more emotionally open of the two, so he can make Izuku open up his damned heart and put it in his nerdy All Might’s shirt sleeve.
Izuku was Katsuki's hero before a Quirk. It's Izuku followed him when Katsuki didn't want him, who tried to save him even when he was told to take a swan dive off a roof. It's Izuku who still risked his life for a month to help others at the cost of his own health. If Izuku fought to save, to catch up to everyone so far ahead, why's he shutting down at the finishing line? Why stop fighting now?
In any case. Izuku needs to break down and someone to build himself up. Katsuki’s role as Izuku's closest one ends up being indispensable here— bringing in mind BK: Origin. If not seeking victory is unlike Katsuki, then so is Izuku thinking salvation’s too late. Contradicting their core beliefs is the lowest point, and pulling each other out of the spiral is the goal. The world and Class 1-A are connected to Izuku, but Izuku has yet to connect to himself. Both Tenko and Katsuki are now tied to One For All, through All For One and leftover embers, so why not make this count? From Katsuki, to Izuku, to Tenko.
These are guesses that rely on an outcome that might not happen in the story, but right now, I’d like to believe Izuku’s vault isn’t locked in nine keys anymore. There’s only him and a closed door, in a room that has always been locked, he never thought to open it before. Sometimes, it knocks, and he ignores it. And now it's time to open it and see what's on the other side, connecting him to what he’s been holding onto for the entirety of this story. Rewarding him one last time as he finally catches up.
By reaching Tenku, the story is allowed to continue, and wrap up in Kekku, the fourth act.
Izuku constantly breaks the expectations of everyone in-story. So maybe, he has some of One For All left. Maybe he’s somehow connected to it. Maybe he’ll keep it, receive a new version, or that’s One For All’s last hurrah. Maybe, there’s a chance he can take everything back, and start anew. But connecting to his emotions would help him understand Tenko. And in return, Tenko would finally take a comforting hand.
Either way, realizing what he’s been missing will be the key for the narrative to reconnect to him: Izuku doesn’t give up on anyone. There are no more people telling him what he’s supposed to be or what to do, no legacies tying him down— there’s only him, confronting the last of the Status Quo of the narrative. His actions are the ones that’ll restore this narrative to one of hope. Rain has finally faded to light. Starting with a death, ending with a rebirth.
The consequences will still exist, and must be faced by as many characters as possible, and if, hopefully when that happens, we can start to see the fruits of the turning points: Izuku’s own blooming realizations have to be the hand that’ll lead to Tenko’s Rising. Only then, the world they knew can rise from their mistakes. And maybe Izuku will be there, at peace, graduating with Class 1-A under cherry blossoms, knowing everyone gets to smile once again.
And only then, we'll know if Midoriya Izuku has gone further beyond his dreams of being a hero.
Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed it, even a little bit.
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