#🐉

[cemeterything]

sorry about the blood loss. do you uh. want it back *holds out my red dripping hands awkwardly*

#🐉

[nymph-o-faerie]

#i've done all these so now what's 4th #WHATS 4TH #hes still here idfk why #🐉

[cemeterything]

[sits up suddenly in a cold sweat] what if my corpse doesn't rot

#🐉

[cemeterything]

never totally understood the preoccupation with swords as exclusively phallic symbolism to be honest. this is clearly scissoring.

#🐉 #i guess it could also be frotting. or tdick scissoring.

[cemeterything]

if i'm being absolutely completely totally honest i think that "it wasn't you" doesn't go far enough in absolving someone of the guilt of being the subject of a brainwashing or mind control plot. because at the end of the day, it was you. it was your body, your mind, potentially even your soul, being stripped of its autonomy, intimately violated and turned against you as much as anyone else. it's a kind of assault, and should be treated as such, especially in more mature narratives. i think that "it wasn't your fault" and "your shame at being made helpless and unable to control your own body and mind's involuntary responses is understandable, but you are not in any way irredeemable or unforgivable because of what was done to you" are also necessary reassurances. and i think that there should be lingering resentment in spite of words of forgiveness and miscommunication and long-term post-traumatic consequences also.

#🐉 #because fuck therapy speak i want those bitches maladaptive

[cemeterything]

if a sword is like an extension of the wielder. and a sword can be said to have its own identity. then can a sword not feel grief and sorrow at being forced to clash with its opponent forged in the same crucible but forced to turn against it. can a sword not cry out in the screech of metal on metal from the pain of betrayal.

#🐉

[cemeterything]

need you all to know that the thing that finally tipped me over into reading/watching dungeon meshi was the hundred or so posts showing chimera falin breasting boobily around the dungeon while covered in her own blood and half feral that have taken over my dash. i don't have a dick but i do think with it.

#🐉 #sorry to speak about her like that i promise i respect her as a person as well but i saw those gifs. those thangs were bouncing.

[cemeterything]

i know this sounds like the kind of post a guy who was chained in a basement like a dog for most of his life and only recently emerged in the world would make but it really does mean so much to me that i can casually talk about seemingly mundane things like having friends and being able to make my own decisions for myself now. it isn't easy but god damn. it really does get better if you just keep looking for the light.

#🐉 #i was only chained in a basement metaphorically fortunately. sometimes by my own brain but so it goes.

[cemeterything]

i think that one of the most obvious things wrong with me is that every time i get a visible injury i get the urge to post it online for people to look at. like a selfie.

#🐉 #because i mean. its my body so theres no sticky ethical issues of consent and such.

[cemeterything]

"what if i'm misinterpreting this character whose only discernable character traits and motives are being impossible to interpret" and other rational fears

#🐉

[cemeterything]

the phrase "why? well, it's a sex thing for me" is always on the tip of my tongue and one of these days it's going to slip free with catastrophic consequences

#🐉

[cemeterything]

i bet rotten flesh tastes good as fuck when you're a carrion animal

#🐉 #i want to experience decay like they do ;_;

[cemeterything]

every ship playlist i make simulator:

1. [gutwrenching melody that perfectly captures every major theme that makes this pairing so compelling, with lyrics so appropriate to their specific situation that you could write an entire essay on them]

2. hot to go! - chappell roan

#🐉 #and im right

[cemeterything]

i've been noticing how often i refer to my friends in conversations lately and it's actually making me a bit emotional. if there's one thing i could tell my younger self, who didn't have a single friend to confide in and thought that he never would, it would be that one day he'd have so many wonderful people in his life that he wouldn't even be able to go a single interaction without bringing up someone he loves at least once.

#🐉 #saved this to my drafts earlier and fuck it i need to feel happy after my night was just ruined by my roommate #so im posting it now #but genuinely so insane to me that i can just SAY stuff like 'my friend' now

[cemeterything]

saw a blood splatter on the ground today

#🐉 #like. /gen /srs.

[cemeterything]

i genuinely don't think my life has been that bad but then someone will tell me they're so impressed that i endured or that what happened to me sounds awful and they only have maybe 50% of the context at most and it does make me wonder if my perspective is just so warped by the ways i've had to develop in order to survive that i don't recognise suffering when it's happening to me

#🐉 #but like. idgaf. i cant or ill never get anything done. so what can you do.