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nezuscribe · 23 hours

Text

𝐬𝐡𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐬

pairing: gojo x fem!reader

summary: once childhood friends with the crown prince, you find yourself in a troubled situation when he calls for you to help him around with his daily duties as the king to be. he seems to have forgotten everything, forgotten who you even were. but as the palace's most loyal servant there's only so many things that you can tolerate, including the prince.

warnings: 18+ mdni, slight angst misunderstandings and just not talking shit out, minor panic attack/overall anxiety (with comfort), eating out (fem! receiving), fingering, gojo is a certified munch

word count: 14.1k (sorry)

note: i can only write gojo in a royal setting now so that’s that. i really liked writing this fic so comments and reblogs are always appreciated!

jjk masterlist

it all started with that night.

when the air was biting, cold and harsh. the moon offered so little of her light as you ran across the open foyer, feeling your tear stained cheeks more than you had back in the ballroom as you could barely feel your heartbeat, not stopping until you were out of the grand double doors, running as fast as you could through the gardens until you were sure everything and everybody was far behind you.

you continued for a little more, finding yourself at the foot of the rose gardens, your chest heaving up and down, sweat dotting your forehead. you were sure the rouge that you had so carefully dotted onto yourself was ruined now, but that was the least of your worries.

you place a hand on your chest, catching your breath, looking behind you to make sure that nobody had followed you outside. most nights, such as ones like this, you enjoyed the freckles of stars above you, but now, all that filled your mind were the events of moments ago.

the staring, the judgment.

“is everything all right?”

your head snaps around, your eyes wide in shock as you find a man standing behind you, a careful feet away so as to not startle you even more than he already had. you couldn't make out his face in the darkness, but with your blurry vision, you doubt you could make out your own reflection.

you nod feverishly, trying for a smile that was shaking and quivering as you turn away for a second, patting your cheeks dry as you try out for a weak laugh.

“yes, t-thank you,” your voice cracks, your lips trembling and your breathing heavy. your uniform and apron was sticking tightly to your skin and everything seemed as if it was tilted on an axis. you felt like the world was spinning in the opposite direction, and had it not been for the strong hands behind you that steadied you upwards, you were sure you would’ve fallen down.

“miss, are you sure everythings alright? surely i can call for a-” the man stops when you shake your head quickly, just realizing how much trouble you were going to be in if your superior ever saw you missing from your post.

“no, thank you, i, i have to go,” you try to stand up again but stumble, grateful that he still had a steady hand on your elbow, “i apologize, i don’t know why i’m so dizzy.” you say, holding your head in your hands, trying to ease your temple with the thumping it was doing.

“would it perhaps be because you ran through the entire courtyard in a matter of seconds?” his voice is low yet teasing, and you should be embarrassed and mortified that somebody saw you, but you feel beside yourself tonight and laugh, nodding along.

“perhaps,” there’s a small smile on your face, but the gentleman chuckles along, helping you stand comfortably, making sure you didn’t need him until he was absolutely sure you wouldn’t topple over.

“are you not enjoying the festivities?” he remains a good distance away from you, though you’re glad he’s given you some space.

you swallow thickly, rubbing at your eyes and cheeks to rid them of the tears but they just seem to be non-stop.

“the festivities aren’t the problem,” you sniffle, hiccuping as you laugh wetly, “i just seem to be too sensitive for the likes of them.” you say the last word with some weight.

you thought that after all these years, after all the times you proved you’re more than your lineage, somebody always manages to bring it up.

he doesn’t say anything for a couple of seconds, the only sound that you can hear is your shuddered breathing.

“take in a deep breath,” his words are soft, but your head snaps up, confused.

“it’s a breathing exercise,” he explains further, gently, “one in, one out,” he places a sturdy hand on your back, one that was too close for if a chaperon were to ever see you in such a compromising position you would be ruined, “we’ll do it together, i’ll count.”

your eyes are squeezed shut, but you mimic your breathing to his rhythmic breathes, your mouth open as small puffs of air fill your collapsing lungs. it takes a while for this sort of breathing pattern to take effect, but it helps you to calm down a bit. your nerves are still erratic, but it’s better than before.

“there you go,” his voice is soothing, calming, something you’ve never heard before, something you’ve never known you’ve needed.

there’s a few beats of silence, your eyes squeezed shut until you finally open them again to get a good look of who this stranger was.

“i have to thank you…” you trail off, your breath catching harshly in your throat when you're met with those familiar eyes, the same ones you see in the paintings you are set to clean each and every day, the same ones that look at yo with childish joy when he used to chase you around the courtyard when you were children. the infamous white hair, a tale telling of his lineage, and the countless medallions on his suit.

you don’t know what to do, and you take a tentative step back. all the feelings of fear, of embarrassment, of dread coming rushing back, but ten times worse.

“sato…y-your highness, i,” you stagger backwards, “i…” you’re at a loss for words, your breaths coming out erratic again.

he reaches his hand out for you to take again, his brows furrowed in confusion with you sudden change of emotions, growing into even more confusion when he gets a better look at you, memories rushing back at the strange familiarity of your face, but you don’t know as you scrunch your uniform between your fingers, muttering some unintelligible words under your breath as you bow hurriedly, brushing past him as you speedily make your way back to the palace, breaking about every protocol you have been taught since your first day there,

blissfully unaware of just how much your life was about to change.

—

the life of a palace maid is a bustling one, full of daily duties that fill your time from the moment you wake up to the moment you put your head down to rest. dusting the staircases, making sure the royal portraits are in tip-top shape, and, of course, tending to any of the needs the royals themselves need.

you were lucky in your position, not too close to the top where any slight mess up could be your undoing, but far up where you could enjoy the more tedious and rewarding of tasks that others, such as the kitchen workers or the stables servants, may not have the luxury of having. you count your lucky stars every day that you’re not stuck cleaning fru-fru’s (the king's prized horse) droppings.

“there really are no breaks,” lydia muttered under her breath, folding the freshly cleaned linen sheets as you gave her a look from under your lashes, warning her to be careful with her words, never too sure of how alone you two could be, “what? it’s just the truth.”

you snort, not disagreeing with her because it was the truth. there had been royal balls upon endless balls, countless gala’s and feasts for the past couple of months. the prince was finally rumored ready to take on a wife, and all the eligible bachelors and their mamas have flocked to the scene, ready to become part of the gojo family.

the last one had been all but two weeks ago, the same one where…you couldn’t think of it too much, glad that nobody else was there to witness your trivial breakdown. all except the prince, of course, but you hadn’t been beheaded yet so you never mentioned it to anybody.

but, despite the last social gathering being so recent, another one was about to take place in a week. everybody could feel their hands splitting raw at the thought of cleaning the palace once again, but it was all in a day's work.

“though i must say, you always seem to find a way to entertain yourself through all these surely grueling events,” you tease, a knowing look in your eyes as an unmistakable blush takes over her cheeks.

“well!” she exclaimed, laughing under her breath as she fanned herself with her gloved hand, picking up another sheet to fold, “if a young man displayed his notable affections towards me, i would only be mad not to entertain them.”

“you’re such a flirt,” you giggle, careful to keep your voices quiet so that nobody would come and break the two of you up. you were fortunate enough to spend most of your time with your closest friend, but if anybody ever got a whiff of just how much the two of you enjoyed folding bed sheets or tidying up the king's study.

“there have been countless events, and yet, there is no wife,” she says this more as a statement rather than anything, “do you think it’s because the prince is cruel?”

she was right about this, too. it was more often than not when lydia was wrong.

it had been a couple months of trying to set the prince up with his rightful match. women from corners of the earth, places you’ve never heard of, have found their ways to these balls and galas. of course, the palace did all they could to quell the rumors on why it was taking their beloved prince so long to find a wife, and yet, they could do so much. the rumors were beginning to grow, and none in his favor.

you laugh uncomfortably, hoping that nobody could hear the two of you in this closet.

“the prince? cruel?” you shrug, feigning indifference.

he wasn't cruel when you met him.

and he never was crue all those years agol, or at least from what you could recall.

because before there was lydia, there was satoru.

so many years ago, you and the prince were childhood friends. he somehow introduced himself one of the days you were cleaning the castle, your uniform still so large seeing how it was made for a teenager and you were yet to reach six, so you were swallowed by it. but he didn't seem to care much about who you were, rather the fact that he was able to find somebody around his age, happy to have a friend that didn’t have to practice fencing with.

the two of you were close, as close as a prince and a young maid can get.

you never had a semblance of a normal childhood, but for those few years that you had known him, he offered you some normality that you would've never expected from the crown prince. at nights, when the two of you would meet up in a spare closet, he’d unravel a satchel full of bread and sweets, things he had stolen from his dinner table, knowing that your meals were often far smaller than his.

he didn’t seem to forget you, even as he grew in his adolescence. he’d still find you wherever you were, a bright smile on his face as you gave yourself a quick break, running around the gardens with him as you squealed, trying not to get caught by him as he tried to push you down into the river nearby.

but, you tended to be more level-headed than him, and easily foresaw the day that came when his advisors found out he had been befriending the servant girl, more specifically the daughter of the town courtesan, and before you knew it, you had been swept away, promised to never mingle with him again. they couldn’t strip you bare of your position at the palace, knowing that you worked for far less than others asked for and longer than most did, but they changed your place, your rooms, and you barely saw him again. he soon forgot, and you counted yourself lucky that you were still able to have a memory to latch on to.

“or perhaps he’s unlikely to even take a wife. he may prefer his time spent with multiple women, if you get what i mean,” she continues, your thought coming back into focus as you suddenly realize what she just said, swatting her with one of the towels while saying such an unbecoming thing about her prince.

“or maybe he’s taking his time,” you give her a pointed look for being so crass, “he might be holding out for a love match.” you say, your gaze focused on your nimble fingers as you fold the sheets as if it were second nature, your body moving faster than your mind was.

she snorts, rolling her eyes at your romantics.

“you can’t-” she goes to say something but is crudely cut off by the doors behind the two of you swinging open.

your necks snap around as you are instant to stand, bowing deeply to whoever it is that walks in, looking up only after a brief pause.

a part of you tenses upon seeing the housekeeper, miss lottie, entering in. her graying hairs were pulled back in a tight bun, the uniform that all the maids wore ironed to perfection. though she may not be as in her youth as she once was, her face was void of wrinkles, a feat, considering her position.

two men who you had never seen before walking in behind her, standing on either side as she motions for the both of you to introduce yourselves. lydia bows once again, saying her name, and you do the same.

“these are the last of my girls, gentlemen,” she starts with a sigh, massaging her temple, missing the confused look you and lydia shared as she offered no explanation for what was happening, “these are the only other maids in my department that wear this uniform.”

the two guards look at you and lydia top and down, their eyes racking over your features, your postures, your faces. you felt sweat prickling at the back of your neck, your hands growing clammy as your mouth dried.

surely, it can’t be.

“her,” one of the guards raised his gloved hand to you.

“her?” lydia cries out loud, earning a disapproving look from miss lottie, but the old woman seems to be just as confused as you and lydia.

“come with us,” the other one says, opening the door further, not seeming to care about your stupified state as you grip onto lydia’s wrist as tightly as you could.

you couldn’t speak, couldn't breath. you felt like you did that night, the same dreadful feeling that filled your veins and your lungs, keeping you from taking in the air you so desperately needed.

“gentlemen,” lydia takes a step forward, trying to shield you with her body, “i’m sure whatever it is you’re after, she,” she points her head over to you, “is certainly not it.”

this is it, you tell yourself, they’ve finally tracked you down.

the two guards don’t pay her any mind, don’t even address nor speak to her as they push her aside, wrenching your hands away from her as they try to move you forward, trying to move you away.

“miss lydia, please,” miss lottie almost seems to beg, has her brows furrowed in puzzlement as to what was happening, her mouth agape as she watches them take you away.

you feel your mind go hazy, your vision turning blurry as you dumbly follow the guards out of the room, the muted shouts of your friends growing softer and softer behind you as you walk through the halls you[‘ve been walking through for nearly your entire life,

not knowing if it would be your last.

—

the three of you walk for a while, and it doesn't help that nauseous and sinking feeling that you have growing in the pit of your stomach. your eyes darted around, your cheeks heating up in an uncomfortable flush when you caught the glances the others servants and maids gave, the way they began instantly whispering behind their gloved hands or one another as to what could be happening.

you quickly looked down, watching your steps. if you weren't ruined after whatever this was, the gossip that was to circulate about you surely would.

they lead you up a spiral staircase, through the east wing, and after some time, the walls and the floors begin to grow unfamiliar to you. these are the places that even you weren’t authorized to clean, places that only the most trusted and known people were allowed to be.

you peek around through the corners of your eyes, trying to take it all in one last time. there is more gold encrusted into the painting, the wall decorum, the ceiling. it’s more grand than you even thought the palace could be, and had it not been for your doomed fate, you would’ve tried to savor it more.

the guards in front of you suddenly stop in front of a door, and you almost bump into one of them had you not stopped yourself milliseconds before.

one of the guards raised his fist, knocking once, letting his hands fall behind his back.

you wait with baited breath until you hear a muffled, “come in,” from behind the door, and the other guard turns the knob, the door swinging wide open.

the two men come in before you do, their bodies hiding the view. you stay outside, your hands shaking, waiting until further instruction.

the guards are speaking to the person inside, their voice mixing with each other in your muddled head, and you feel your eyes begin to wet. all of your hard work, all the sacrifices you’ve made along the way, every sleepless night devoted to securing your rank and your future were now going up in flames.

“why didn’t you tell her to come in?” the first voice grows a little louder, ��come in, miss,” he calls out, and you take in a deep, shaky breath.

you take a slow, tentative step inside, and then another one. your feet pad in quietly, your head ducked down in respect but also because you couldn't have these people seeing you like this, it was mortifying as it was.

you bow, knowing that you were in the presence of royalty from just the atmosphere of the room alone. you go down as low as you can, almost kissing the floor with your nose.

“you men can go now,” the voice, an all too familiar one, says.

you hear their heavy footsteps behind you, the door shutting with a thud.

“you can stand,” the prince says, his voice less loud and commanding.

you slowly rise, still keeping your head down, your eyes meeting a desk, some papers, and when you finally look up, the prince.

his smile quickly drops when he sees your face, quickly moving away from his seat as he rounds the table, making his way over to you as you quickly wipe away at your tears. it was breaking your etiquette protocol for how you were to act if you were to ever come face to face with royalty, but you don’t see any point in acting in such a way when this is somehow quite similar to your first encounter.

“are you hurt?” he quickly asks, standing a foot away from you, his eyes darting around your body as you quickly shake your head, sniffing as you stand as perfectly still as you could.

“were my guards rough with you?” he looks behind himself at the door, “i will have a word with them immediately-”

but you shake your head again, swallowing thickly as you dip your head down once, going to speak.

“it was not the guards, your highness,” you feel like time is stopping as he stares intently at you, “i just have an apathy for being too emotional at times.” you try to joke, but with the way your heart was beating so loudly and erratically, it drowned out any humor you may have been trying for.

“is it perhaps because you’ve been called to the prince's study with no reason or explanation?” he jokes, his eyes look at you from beneath his long lashes and you laugh wetly.

“perhaps,” you accept the handkerchief he gives you with a small thank you.

you wipe at your tears, quickly composing yourself with taking a couple of more steady breaths, and you were glad that the prince was at least giving you this time to look a little more presentable until he sentenced you to your punishment.

“right, well,” he claps his hands together, a small smile on his face as he inches backwards until he’s able to sit on his desk, not caring for the slue of papers underneath, “i’m glad i was finally able to find you.”

find you?

you don’t say anything, your eyes taking him in for the first time, and for the first time, the rumors were correct.

he was positively gorgeous.

the veil of night hid a lot of his features, leaving only the more pronounced things for you to see. not only that, but you had been sworn to keep away from him, the last time you were really able to see him was years ago.

but now, illuminated under the light from the large windows to the side of him, you can see him as clearly as you possibly could. his eyes were striking and stark, a blue that you could only get if you looked at the sea and saw all the colors mixing around together. his lips were plump and pink. his jaw was sturdy, but that could’ve been said along with the rest of his body, no longer looking like the lanky little boy that you were used to envisioning. though he donned a simple white button up, the sleeves were rolled up to his elbows, showing just how strong he was. everything about him exuded radiance, the spectacularity that only comes with being the crown prince.

you try to focus yourself again, and try not to melt under the way he noticed you staring too hard, his smile turning into something far more teasing.

he wets his lips, sitting up a little bit straight, pushing himself off the table just a bit so that he could be closer to you.

“my name is satoru,” he extends his hand outward, and you stare at it.

oh, a part of you sinks, he doesn't remember you.

“shake, please” he says as if reading your mind, “my hand isn’t infected with a fungal disease if that’s what you’re worried about.”

you quickly nod, feeling sheepish as your hands slowly raise from where they were resting on your crumpled apron, fingers gently and barely there as they glide against his palm until your hand is enclosed in his, fingers curling around his as you shake.

his palm is soft, unlike yours which had grown rough and riddles with scratches and cuts from over the years. he shakes firmly yet gently, not too harsh unlike the other men whose hands you’ve shaken before, making it somewhat a point to not only bruise your skin but to show off their strength as you look at them with a sneer.

you don’t let go until he does, not wanting to seem rude or improper, and your hands quickly fall back down to your sides. you’re aware of the stains of food and dirt on your white apron, the way it is held together through stitches and intricate sewing. it’s a stark difference to what he’s wearing, even if simple, but the quiet opulence is what differentiates the two of you so easily.

he waits patiently and you suddenly realize that he’s waiting for your name. you said it quickly, your eyes darting to him as you bow your head again.

“as i said,” he continued, his head turning as he looked out the window, taking in the scenery, “i have been trying my best to find you ever since, well, i’m sure you remember.”

“i was told by…miss marla scott, is it?” he asks, and you nod, miss lottie, “that you are one of, if not, her best girls.”

you nod again, not knowing what to do. he was going on about this as if all those years ago were a figment of your imagination, as if your childhoods weren’t linked together the way you recall them being. that could be for the best though, seeing how you could be in trouble if anyone were to remember.

“i’ve recently had to do away with some of my valets, they didn’t meet my expectations.” he scratches his jaw, looking back at you, his eyes simmering as you look at him from beneath your lashes.

“i would like for you to be my maid.” he finally said, his fingers playing with the ring on his middle finger, twisting it back and forth as it caught and reflected the sunlight.

there’s a beat of silence, a moment in which the two of you just look at each other.

you almost laughed in shock, your brows shooting upwards in surprise, hands interlinking themselves as they rested on your queasy stomach.

“p-pardon,” you swallow dryly, “pardon me?”

he waves it off, his eyes playful, obviously understanding that you weren’t expecting this and he runs a hand through his arctic hair. you intently watch his every movement, waiting for him to burst out into laughter and to say that this was all one big joke, one meant to set you up into a trap.

“you’d have to make my bed every day, make sure my room is clean. my office,” he motions to the room around the two of you, “as well. anywhere i am, you are. i’m not a particularly messy person, but i like the assurance a maid provides.”

“your highness,” you breathe deeply through your nose, a puff of air coming out as you smile shortly, “i am more than honored, but i’m not sure i’ve been trained the way a personal maid has been trained. i would hate to disappoint you,” you chose your words carefully, but he waves it all off with his gloved hand.

“you will be taught. after all, you are the best, are you not?” his eyes crease around the edges, waiting for you to simply nod once again, and you do, slowly.

“but, your highness, i…” you trail off, failing silent and running out of words as you find yourself sputtering under his gaze. you’re usually one who’s easily composed, your back straight and shoulders pressed backwards, but you feel it all slipping away.

“why me? i surely couldn’t have made a favorable impression the first time we met, your highness.”

he looks at you for a moment, brief, fleeting.

“you’re human, it happens,” he simply says, his eyes flickering a different shade, “my mother always tells me that we forget to exhaust the capabilities that connect us together,” he rubs in between his brows, soothing the crease, not going any further into his explanation when he looks up at you, his smile debonair, “now, do you accept?”

you suck in a breath.

one nod.

yes.

—-

you were quickly swept away from your normal routine of things to become the princes maid, something that you could barely even get out once lydia was able to ask you about what had happened. you can remember the looks you received after walking to your new quarters, a private room for the first time in your life, by the people who judged you the first time around, feeling a little victorious with your single back packed with the three changes of clothes you owned.

you spent days going over what was to be expected of you, and it all felt like it was a joke.

it was too simple, too easy of a job with an even simpler explanation from the prince as to why you were even here.

“his highness wakes up early, so you will need to be up before he is,” one of the ladies who was briskly walking around the princes caves explained rapidly, “and his nighttime schedule is, well, hectic, which means you will have to be with him until he goes to sleep.”

you blink, trying to get that all in as you take mental notes of everything you are being taught.

“and during the day? where should i be?”

she looked up at you as if you were an idiot, as if that was the most obvious question you could’ve asked.

“by his side, of course, you are to ensure his highness is always comfortable. your role is beyond making his bed or simply cleaning up after him. it’s making sure that our prince is at ease when he is to one day become our king.”

you never thought you would be standing behind the door of the prince's chambers, waiting for him to wake up, but your life always seemed to have a different plan waiting for you than what you’d expect.

it’s better than you’d expect it to have been, too. at first, it was difficult getting used to the prince and his way of doing things. he would act rash sometimes, acting without thinking of the consequences. he was playful, he loved laughing. there were times when you’d be standing a good distance away from him when he’d be having dinner with families of women who were there to marry him, diplomats that talked just to bore it would seem, and you’d catch his wandering eye, suppressing a smile that seemed to quirk up on his face as well.

it wasn’t long before you found yourself speaking more freely around him, keeping some of the pleasantries, but regarding him more as a friend, just as you would with lydia.

he would often spend hours away in his study just talking, telling you about his daily outings and the struggles he was having with finding a wife. whenever you offered your thoughts or opinions he listened thoughtfully, his gaze heavy and caring.

though he may not have remembered your ancient friendship, you did, and an old part of you feels like it’s coming back after all those years. the naive part that was just happy to have a person to talk to, somebody that wouldn’t look at you in disgust or pity.

but you bring your focus back to now, listening intently, waiting to hear the bed sheets ruffle and the floorboards to creak as he makes his way out of his bed.

after a couple of weeks of doing this you’ve become somewhat familiar with the prince's way of doing things, and just as you thought he was going to sleep in, you hear the bedsheets ruffle with movement.

“your highness?” you call quietly, “may i come in?”

there’s a loud yawn, something unintelligible, and then you hear the go ahead for you to go.

you slowly open the door, making sure not to be loud as you bow politely, closing the door before you as you set the tray of cold water and fruits down on the nightstand near his bed.

the prince prefers to eat something before he breaks his fast in front of his family and the watchful eyes of the palace, enjoying these small moments he has with himself.

“good morning your highness,” you greet, lighting the candle as you look behind your shoulder to see the prince groggily running at his eyes, yawning once again as he waves tiredly to you.

why he chooses to wake up before the sun is even in the sky is beyond you, but you would be mad to question the choices of the prince. unfortunately, he seems to be waking up even earlier than the times you were told, so every morning you find yourself getting up at the crack of dawn to make sure you’re up before he is.

“did you sleep well?” you walk around the bed, setting down some fresh sheets and clothes for him to pick out, opening the curtains as you watch the sun just barely peek out from the horizon.

“well enough,” his voice is deep, filled with sleep, and you're glad your back is momentarily turned so that he couldn’t see the way a smile threatened to poke its way on your face.

“i’m glad to hear,” you turn around, catching him briefly taking a swing of water, savoring its coolness, and you try not to look too long at the droplets that roll down his chin, splattering on his thigh, “would you like me to go through your events set for the day?”

he glances at you from over his cup, blinking as he wordlessly tells you to continue.

“today, you are to meet with the king's advisors after you break your fast, but i doubt they should take too long. at noon, you have a lunch meeting set with the lady dower and her daughter,” you quote from memory, “and afterwards we are to swiftly get you ready for tonight's ball.”

he groans loudly, opposing this, and you smirk, your eyes trained on him as he sets his water down, sniffing as he stands up, stretching his arms above his head. you feel like a fiend, with the way you quickly avert your gaze from his toned stomach, the happy trail of hair that leads…

your eyes shoot up at him, glad that his were still screwed shut, another yawn escaping his lips as he leans his head side to side, cracking his neck.

“i’ve already met with the lady dower,” he almost whines, his nose wrinkling at the thought, “what do they want this time?”

“a ring, probably,” you mutter under your breath, but he hears, a chuckle falling past his lips as he nods along, tsking as he shrugs. he obviously doesn’t want the dower girl to be his wife, and you could only feel sorry for how tense the meetings going to be.

he picks up a cube of melon, popping it in his mouth, humming at the sweet taste. he offers the bowl to you, just as he’s always done, but you politely decline, just as you’ve always done. you may have become friendly with the prince, but there is still some semblance of protocol that you’ll force yourself to follow.

“is this chocolate?” he pipes up, looking at the tray a bit more closely, holding up the little sweet to the light.

“you’ve mentioned how much you like them, and the kitchen has been making a plethora of them for the ball, so i thought i should snag you some before they're all gone.” you explain, and he turns it around, shooting you a thankful, genuine smile. he sets it down, most likely saving it until the very last moment.

“will you be there? tonight?” he asks, filling up his glass with water once again.

“not down there with you, your highness-”

“how many times have i told you to drop the titles?” he chides playfully, cutting you off as you sigh deeply through your nose. you’re terrified of calling him by his name too many times in private, and slipping up in public, knowing just how bad it would turn out for you if that were to happen.

“not down there with you, gojo,” you say his last name with extra weight, just a little bit of sass, and he rolls his eyes, “i am to help out elsewhere.”

he nods in understanding.

“could you be down there?” he picks up a piece of watermelon, fashioned into a sphere, eating it as you sputter, brows furrowing in slight confusion as you open your mouth, shut it, and then open it again to speak.

“unless i am serving, i would not be allowed,” you explain, following behind him as he moves away from the bed, quickly making the messed up sheets as he makes room for you. you’re supposed to wait until he’s out of the room, but in your growing friendship with the prince, you find it amusing the way he flutters away.

he makes a small sound in the back of his throat, and you look behind your shoulder to see him deep in thought.

“i’ll find a way.”

“what-”

“i’ll see you later,” he exits his room, shutting himself in his bathroom as the other servants are their, waiting with his bath drawn, leaving you there to gape in silence.

—-

gojo somehow stuck to his word, finding a way for you to be near him by the time the ball arrived.

you felt overwhelmed, your senses were going hardwire at the sheer size of everything. it was one thing to be part of setting up the decorations, or to view it from afar behind a pillar, but to be part of it was something totally different.

there had been a couple balls since you first started your new position, but this happened to be the first one that you had gotten clearance for. of course, you weren’t a part of the crowd, hidden somewhere in the midst of servants and servers, but you were nearer than you’ve ever been.

they even dress you up in more fashionable servant clothes, knowing that if you were to wear your tattered uniform it would easily give it away that you weren’t one of them. you didn’t have a job for the evening other than to make sure that the prince was comfortable, so you tried everything you could not to let him out of your sight.

you found yourself searching for lydia in the crowd, but she had told you that she’d be in the kitchens, having to help out with the food they’d be sending out, and so you doubted you would be able to catch a glimpse of her amongst all the chaos that is hidden to their eyes.

the prince, despite your best efforts, kept getting drowned in by the sea of people and ball gowns. every time he twirled a girl around for a dance he was hidden by a wave of colorful fabrics, and you’d have to squint to see his white hair peeking out.

you tapped your fingers on the railing you were leaning against, trying to soak it all in while you had the chance. you had heard of the royal balls and just how extravagant they truly could be, but you never thought you’d have the chance to see one in its entirety.

“i don’t believe we’ve met,”

your head snaps to your left, eyes widening in surprise at the stranger that had somehow slithered their way next to you without noticing.

“i apologize, i didn't mean to scare you,” the man says with an apologetic laugh. you huff out a small sound, shaking your head as you bow your body a little bit, watching as he bows his head in turn.

“no apology necessary, uh, mister…?” you pause, realizing that you actually haven’t even seen his face before, let alone heard of his name.

“fushiguro,” he finishes for you, the scar on his lip quirking upwards as he settles himself on teh railing, looking down at the scene below you as he shoots you a small look, “but i’d prefer it if you’d call me toji.”

you duck your head down, smiling as you repeat your name, feeling heat pricks at the back of your neck. he’s certainly handsome, and most likely higher ranked in title with the expensive material he fills out well.

you’ve seen him around, most likely from afar. his face is familiar, and you’re sure that he’s had to have at least another one of these balls considering the fact that he’s given up mixing with the ton.

he surely has to note that what you’re wearing is on par with what the other servants and maids are, but he doesn't choose to comment.

“i’ve started a little bet with myself,” he says, his voice deep and gruff. you take a second to look him over thoroughly, noting the way his hair is messy and looks undone, black as the night. his eyes shimmer green, but turn more olive toned in the light, and he has a smile exudes an air of confidence, “would you like you partake in it?”

you smile, looking at him from the side.

“i thought they taught you better manners than to introduce yourself with a bet when you first meet a lady.”

he chuckles, shrugging his shoulders as his eyes glint.

“thought i already told you my name?” he’s smooth with it, and you’re not used to this.

you don’t say anything for a second, your chest moving as you take in a necessary gulp of air. you normally try not to think too much in gojo’s flirtatious personality, because he seems to be like that with everybody he’s ever met. but this is new.

“see,” he leans in, your arms touching as you both lean a bit over the railing, and he’s lower this voice to a whisper so that nobody else can hear, “i bet that our little prince is setting his eyes on the young lady in the red dress, but i also bet that he may be mulling over the one in the green shawl.” his fingers slyly point to the two of them, and you crane your neck a bit, standing on your toes as you try to get a better look. the man, toji, isn’t incorrect in his observations. gojo has danced with miss corden almost three times at this point, and another two with miss ahura, but you remember that he only favored these two more because they tended not to step on his shoes when dancing. you suppress your smile, choosing to indulge him in his little bet.

“i say miss ahura has a better chance,” you say and he watches as gojo twirls her around on the dance floor, “her family is far more affluent and i hear that she has riches beyond comprehension in persia.”

“are you saying our prince is covetous? the sacrilege,” his voice is full of mirth and you hide your little giggle behind a gloved hand, your elbows lightly hitting his as you keep your eyes trained down below.

the waltz comes to an end, the violinists lifting their instrument off from their shoulders as they prepare for the next piece, the ladies and gentlemens who had just danced bowing to each other as they separate.

you watch for gojo, watch as he moves to the end of the floor, accepting the drink one of his companions had waiting for him as he delves into conversation. he takes a sip, nodding along to whatever it is that is being muttered in his ear.

he looks up for a second, his eyes scanning around for something. he’s careful not to attract attention to this fact, but you see him scan the entire room, the different floors, his eyes squinting as he tries to narrow his vision. he looks around for a couple more seconds, looking and looking until he finds you.

a brief and quick smile takes over his face when he finally sees your face, your own lips tugging upwards as you give him a small wave. his eyes fall to the man besides you, his smile falling as well, and toji grunts.

“are you familiar with the prince?” he asks, obviously catching this, and you gnaw on your lips in apprehension, confusion.

“barely,” you mutter, not giving him too many details, watching as gojo looks away just as quickly, as if he had never seen you and you swallow thickly, wondering what brought on his sudden change in emotions.

or why he even looked for you in the first place.

“barely doesn’t warrant the prince looking for you,” toji whispers in your ear, “‘think you know him a little better than you give yourself credit for.”

—

after the ball, gojo didn’t speak much to you when the two of you were back in his chambers.

he tended to get tired out by the end of balls, but you found yourself lonely without the endless stories he came to you with, the way he’d relive some of the events just as he was going to bed so that he wouldn’t forget them in the morning.

but he was strangely quiet right now, didn’t say anything as you helped him shrug off his coat, hanging it up in his closet as you bite your cheek, feeling some odd tension radiate off of him, something you’ve never felt before.

“did you enjoy the ball?” you asked, standing near his bed as he shuffles around, kicking off his boots as he scrunches his nose in distaste.

“it was like any other,” he says plainly, yanking his tie off as you grab it from his wordlessly, folding it up so that it wouldn’t crease.

“did you like dancing with miss ahura?” you don’t know what’s going on, why he seems so rigid, “she looked beautiful, did she not?”

he shrugs passively, not answering as he rummages around his drawers, dropping down his cufflinks in a pile with the rest of his gold ones, not knowing that a single pair of them would most likely feed you for a year.

“would you like a midnight snack? i saved some truffles for you,” you dig into your pockets, bringing some out that you had snagged from the desserts table and had wrapped in a napkin, something akin to what he used to bring you all those years ago, waiting eagerly all night to show him, “these even have some gold on them, i’ve never seen-”

“i have chefs at my disposal,” he mutters as he unbuttons his shirt, “i don’t need truffles covered in lint.”

your smile fell at the bite in his voice, the way it seemed to grip it’s claws around your lungs, squeezing the air out of them. you silently pocket the napkin.

“of course…i apologize,” there's a bitter taste in the back of your throat, catching his eyes momentarily. you see the way they shift, how his mouth parts open, and then he shuts them again.

you can feel his stare as you shove your other hand back into your other dress pocket, this one with a miniature tart that you had so carefully tried to preserve throughout the evening from breaking, and feel a heavy weight settle on your chest.

“i have your bath ready,” you point to the bathroom, ducking your head down as you bow, “i will see you in the morning, your highness.”

you left quickly, feeling foolish as you trekked down the stairs to your own room, feeling your heart slow down as you shut your door, shedding off the wretched costume that had you feeling as if you were something worthwhile for once.

—-

for a while after that night, the two of you share brief conversations, sentences kept to a minimum as you bring back the cordiality that you had begun to shed off for a while. if he noticed it, he didn’t comment on it. after some days passed, and days turned into a week and a half, he barely even looked at you, and you took it as a sign that he had tired out of the small friendship and was looking elsewhere for momentary entertainment.

tonight, you found yourself standing in the corner of his office, eyes darting around as you waited in heavy silence as his quill scratched on the parchment beneath him, dipping it in ink every now and then as he mumbled unintelligible words under his breath.

his head rests in his hands, throwing his head back in frustration at whatever it is the document is telling him.

his head falls down, his eyes slowly opening as he looks up at you.

your brow raised slightly in questioning.

“i need you,” he says, eyes widening slightly at his slip up, “i-i need your help.” he clears his throat harshly.

he ushers to the papers in front of him, and you inhale deeply, making your way from the corner that you’ve hidden yourself in as you cross the room, your steps careful as you round to his table, standing at the edge as you stay quiet.

“here,” he bites out, “come here.” he needs you next to him, and you have to control the urge to roll your eyes as you move, shuffling so that you were standing near his chair, looking down at the piece of paper that he’s been mulling over for the better half of an hour.

you look at it, mouth parting open as your brows scrunch up as you focus, trying to ignore the way his eyes were burning into the side of your face.

“i don’t understand, your highness,” you finally say, leaning away from him, “what am i supposed to be looking at?”

he pinches the bridge of his nose, exhaling as he sets the paper down, leaning back in the chair.

“it’s a letter of inheritance, who gets what after the father dies,” he explains, “but the signatures don’t match up. does it seem forged to you?”

you look again, looking at the two signatures laid next to each other, the way the letters curved, which ones swooped, tilting your head, trying to see it from a different angle. the more you looked at it, the more disingenuous the signatures seemed.

“they might be,” you briefly look at him, his stare burning if you look too long, “but i’m not sure, your highness.”

his face hardens for a second, and you move away, going back to the end of the table as you bow, taking your leave to the back of the room until he speaks again. you pause, looking over your shoulder to him.

“care to look again? i have a feeling that you have a knack for schemes.” his lips are pulled back in a smile that doesn't meet his eyes, miles away from the usual smile you see from him, and if not for the benign expression, his words surely made you stumble.

“excuse me?” you bite back quickly, your nose flaring as he scoffs, shaking his head as if he expected this reaction.

“you’re shameless with it, aren’t you?” he’s alluding to something, and it’s driving you crazy. all the stares you’ve shared this past week, the silent exchange of aggravated words that grow only in size the more the two of you simmer. even when you were young, your arguments were resolved quickly.

“with what?” you snap, the accusations he’s throwing at you with no reasoning swarming your mind, clouding your judgment, your way of carrying yourself as you throw all etiquette out the window.

“i can only wonder what ploys fushiguro played out for you, but i wonder even more which ones tempted you the most?”

your tongue is heavy in your mouth, and you make a sound in the back of your throat, one of shock, one of clear surprise. was all of his unspoken anger because of…him? the man you met during the ball? surely it can’t be.

you gape, the candle flickering away in the same beats your heart was going at, illuminating his stone cold face as he stands up from his chair, moving slowly to where you were. you try to stand tall, but you can’t match up to his height.

“you,” your jaw clenches, eyes searching his to see if he was joking, “you’ve been treating me like i’m, i’m,” you stutter, your chest constricting, “the shit you wipe off your shoe because you think i’m scheming with s-some man i met for the first time?”

his expression flickers for a second, as if suddenly realizing what he was saying.

“as if you don’t know who he is,” he collects himself, a sneer making its way on his face, “as if you don’t know what they’ve done to us-”

“i don’t!” you cut him off, a shocked laugh escaping your lips, “i don’t know who he is! i just thought he was being friendly!”

gojo pauses, his eyes searching yours for any traces of lies

“come on,” he scoffs, “you know how the zenin family-”

“who, who’s the zenin family?” you exclaim, watching in real time as the facade and things he’s been convincing himself of aren’t true.

“the,” he stutters, his face scrunching up in confusion, “the zenin…? how do you not know…?”

“because i’m a maid!” you shout, not caring if others behind the door could hear you yelling at their prince, “because i’ve spent my entire life working here! i keep my head down and i do what i’m told, a-and i keep to myself. forgive me for not knowing about your royal affairs, your highness!”

he’s rendered silent, lips pulled into a thin line.

“but you only care about yourself, right? the sacred prince who had everything given to him his entire life,” you continue, feeling your own pent up frustrations spewing out. you know that you’re going to lose everything after this anyways, so you don’t care about the repercussions now. you can’t bring it in yourself to care.

“you don’t know what you’re talking about,” he says, his voice barely above a whisper, thick with some unidentifiable emotion as you roll your eyes.

“i don’t? tell me, do you even remember me?” you hate that you’re losing touch of sensibility and making it personal, personal about your own feelings and how your mind can’t wrap around the fact that he simply forgot who you were or how much he affected you, “or are your cares about the people who work for you so fleeting that you barely know our names? is my replacement coming in a week, two weeks?”

“stop,” he bites out, his eyes dark, a storming brewing on the endless sea they offer, “you don’t know-”

“what i’m taking about…right?” you finish for him, “because i’m just the simple maid who you took in as your toy because you wanted to poke and prod around at her and see if she cries again? see if you could fix something for once-”

“stop,” his voice is different, and your hairs stand up because it’s not his. it’s lower in pitch, deep, commanding. you shut your mouth, fingers flying upwards, but it’s too late, you’ve said too much, and there’s no going back. this is it, you’ve finally sealed your fate.

his head falls down for a second, licking his lips as he looks at you with a look that freezes your blood. it’s not like him, and you know that this was it.

“get out,” he mutters.

“i…” you take a step back.

“get out,” his voice is thick, nostrils flaring, cheeks red with underlying emotions that are threatening to leave, “get out and never come back.”

your eyes shine with tears, tears that you refuse to shed, tears that you don’t know are for what, but you nod once, your lips trembling as you bow down to him, your last shred of respect, and turn for the door, shutting it as you run down the corridor, run for the only thing you think can save you in the moment, and don’t look back.

—

the wind is biting and unforgiving on your skin as you ride through the night.

you lean forward on the horse, hoping it can go faster as it sprints through the open field, your eyes watering as you shout for it to go.

you packed what you could, wrote your note to lydia and escaped through the stables, glad to know that louis was guarding the horses tonight, glad to know that he often drank himself to sleep.

you knew you were in too deep. you had crossed the crown prince, your ending surely wasn’t going to be good. and so call it what you will, cowardice, fear, survival, or just something you seem to have down to your roots, but you fled. you took a horse and went as far as you could, looking over your shoulder every other minute to see if anybody was running after you.

they would at some time realize that one of their horses was missing, as well as the prince's personal maid, and easily connect the dots.

it was late, and you were glad that the night was offering you the darkness and protection you needed. you could hear thunder rumbling a distance away, the clouds looking even more irate than they usually do. rain, you noted, even more protection that you desperately needed.

“please,” you plead, with what you don’t know, “please, hurry.”

the horse, as if understanding you, seems to pick up its pace, going even faster than before. your cheeks are freezing, your hands going numb from both the cold but from holding onto the reins with all your might, and the sad excuse of a cloak you have on for both warmth and concealing your face, does nothing for its intended purposes. it’s flimsy and the hood is swept by the wind, and you sniffle, tears wetting your chin as you try to compose yourself for just a bit more.

you feel an ounce of joy when you see the yellow twinge of lights from the valley below, the small town that you once used to live in coming more into focus, and feel some sense of happiness. you would camp there for the night and leave at dawn, going east, north, anywhere away from here.

or at least that was your plan until you hear the thump of hooves from behind you.

your heart drops, head whipping around as you see another horse coming in from behind you. you can’t see the rider, but you suspect more are behind them. they’re shouting something, but with the wind roaring in your ears you can’t hear anything. you turn around, whipping the reins again, leaning even more forward as let out a sound of desperation.

it’s a race to survive now, something that you won't do if you lose it, and you feel your body turning into ice, everything is going too fast.

the rider behind you is gaining speed, and you know it’s only a matter of time before they finally catch up to you. in a split moment you try to evade them, twisting the reins of your horse in one direction, not seeing the bush that was in front of you.

in another moment you’re up in the air, losing all of your feelings as you're thrown down with a harsh thud.

in the next moment, things going to black, your lids flickering as you try to stay awake, one of the last things you see being the blurry face of the rider,

and those eyes that you think about every night.

—

the next time you open your eyes it’s to a bright light.

you ground, rubbing at your face as your mouth feels like it’s been stuffed with cotton, your head ringing as you attempt to sit up, only to feel strong hands gently pushing you down.

there’s a voice, somebody speaking, but it’s all mushy in your brain, words melting together as you shake your head, trying to get the blinding light away from you. the voice grows a little bit closer, a little more clearer, and after a couple of seconds you’re able to make out what the person is saying.

“please rest, i’ll get the doctor,” the voice is familiar, and you reach out with slow fingers, trying to grab onto something, anything.

“n-no,” you murmur, your voice slurring, “no doctor.”

“you need a doctor,” the voice says firmly, “wait here.”

“no,” you say again, a little stronger, and the person stops moving, “s-stay…please,”

your fingers reach out, trying to latch onto a piece of their clothing, and instead find their hand. it’s warm, soft, and it quickly closes around your cold one, trying to warm it up.

you know this hand, know this voice.

“i’m sorry,” you mutter, and wonder if your voice is even something that can be heard by the human ear with the way it sounds foreign even to you, “i’m, i’m sorry about everything. about what i said.”

his hold on your hand grows tighter, his thumb moving up and down on the back of it in a soothing back as his other hands run across your forehead.

“no,” he simply says, “you don’t-”

“but i said-”

“everything that should’ve been said,” gojo finishes quickly, “but i need to go get you a doctor, check if you don’t have a concussion or worse. he checked for…other things,” he swallows thickly, not able to say what terrible words the town physician told him when they brought you into the small inn, the words that turned his skin transparent and nearly ripped the heart right out his chest, “see if you’re doing okay.”

“i don’t have a concussion,” you tell him him, finally able to blink without shooting lights and on your final squint you finally see him, sitting right next to you, his hair disheveled and face clammy, “i’ve had concussions and this isn’t a concussion.”

his brows furrow but you wave it off, sitting up so that you could rest on the head board behind you, not letting go of his hands. you’re not even sure he would let you if you wanted to, with the way he was grasping on as if his life depended on it.

you groggily rub at your face, glad that the thumping in your head is dying down, gracefully accepting the glass of water he offers you. you chug it down, feeling the droplets wet the chemise you’re wearing, but can’t find it in you to care.

you look around the room, wondering if you might actually have a concussion because you’ve never been here before, and it certainly doesn’t look like it’s part of the palace.

“we’re at an inn,” he explains as if reading your mind, “it’s the closest place i could find.”

you nod wordlessly, looking away from him because it feels raw, the emotions, the events from before, everything.

he senses your disposition and his hold on your hand loosens for a brief, flickering second. you hate the feeling.

“i shouldn’t have assumed,” he whispers, your eyes still focused on the patterns on the bed sheet, not knowing what would happen if you looked at him, “i shouldn’t have thought any of it. i just saw you and saw him and…it got in my head. it got a hold of me and for that, i’m sorry.”

your fingers curl into his hand.

“but, i, um,” he stammered, stuttering the way he used to when he was a little boy, something they surely worked on seeing how it rarely came out anymore, “i wanted you to know that i do remember.”

your head snaps up, the bed creaking at your sudden movement, your mouth slightly open in surprise.

“what?” your question is breathless, akin to the boyish, nervous, and small smile on his face. just like he used to smile when you chased him up a tree, telling him to get down or else you’d be in big trouble as if he were your responsibility.

“you used to wear a uniform that was so huge, you’d trip whenever you’d walk. you loved the fruit pies i’d bring, but you hated the ones with the pine nuts. you’d always call me ‘toru because you couldn’t say your s’s properly and you made me a doll with some fabric you found around the rooms.”

his thumb rubs on your pulse point, a melancholy smile on his face.

“you named him fru-fru,” your voice is barely above a murmur, “and you kept him on your-”

“nightstand,” he nods, “but i had to move him to my study because he was getting too fragile, i couldn’t move him too much.”

you wipe at your cheeks, sniffing as you feel a strange warmth fill your chest, filling an emptiness you didn’t know was there. his eyes shimmer, wet with tears threatening to spill, and for the first time since you met him that night, you feel like you’ve never been closer to somebody than you are now, souls interlinked together, twisting and turned as they grew with time.

all the emotions you’ve been latching onto or forcing down are coming up at once and you feel overwhelmed, not knowing how to handle them together.

“why…why did you act like you didn't know me?” you finally ask, wiping at your chin with the palm of your hand as you sniffle, “why are you telling me all this now?”

“because all this time i thought you had grown to hate me,” he mutters, “you just stopped speaking to me one day and no matter what i tried to do you never responded. i sent you letters and i visited your quarters and i even went to that scary lady,” you laugh wetly, knowing that he was referring to your old head-maid, the one that terrified him as a kid, “but they all acted as if you had forgotten about me. at some point i convinced myself that you left but when i saw you running across that field i just knew, i knew it was you.”

you shake your head, the tears coming on even harder. all those years when you had to act passive, act as if you didn't know him just so that you wouldn’t lose or jeopardize your position or life, pretending that the one friend that made your days that much brighter was a passing thought to you.

he leans in a bit, wiping at your cheeks gently with his thumb as you lean into his hand, watching as you quickly wipes at his own reddened cheeks, brows scrunching up together as you whimper.

“they f-found out,” you choke, “about us. and they knew who i w-was and who my mom was and they told me to never speak to you again,” your words come out broken, “and i left little piece of my clothes outside your door at night, ones with drawings or things i thought you’d know but every morning they would be gone. i,” you cry, your voice sputtering as you crawl closer to him, into his open arms, “i could never forget you,” your voice cracks, muffled by his chest, “you were the only f-friend i had,” he pulls you in tighter, his arms around you encaging you in a warmth that you so desperately needed. his chin rests atop your head, and you can see the way he struggles to get his own breaths out, the tears that he struggles to hide.

“don’t cry,” he pleads, begs, holding onto the last scrap of composure he had left, hating hearing your cries or seeing your tears, “please, please don’t cry,” he pulls himself away from you slightly to look at your face, to dry your cheeks as you hiccup, “you’re killing me tonight, you know that right?”

you try to laugh though it comes off as a snort, savoring the way his fingers trace your face, your cheeks, your jaw, your nose, the corners of your eyes, trying to savor every bit of you as if they’ve been starved for an eternity.

“tried to run after you after what i said…” he can’t find it in himself to repeat his wretched words, “only to find you gone. you have no idea how much of a mad man i was, ordering everybody to turn each stone inside out until they found you. then that stupid stable boy kept yelling out that a horse was gone and i thought surely you wouldn’t be foolish enough to run away, ‘specially not when a storm was coming but…”

“i ran away when a storm was coming,” you finish for him with a quiet chuckle, feeling your body heating up at the way he broke into an instant smile when he heard the sound. if only you knew the things he’d do to hear it again, to see you happy would be his three wishes if he was ever asked.

“and you were going fast,” he traces your cheekbone, his words filling the large and empty room, “so, so fast. and when you fell?” he takes your hand in his, bringing it up to his chest, setting it on his heart as you feel it thumping quickly underneath your palm, “was about to take you to the doctor and tell him to give you this,” his fingers curl above yours, his forehead resting on yours, your noses breaths away from each other, “it didn’t matter to me anymore, it doesn’t work right without you.”

you feel lightheaded like you need him more than you need oxygen, your eyes falling onto his lips, not knowing that he was mirroring your exact same motions, the two of you working in tandem like a machine and its little bolts, not working without the other.

“would it perhaps be because you can’t live without the chocolates i sneak in for you?” you try to joke but it falls flat in your head, but he still huffs out a laugh, nose nudging yours as you lean in impossibly closer.

“perhaps,” he answers, his face lit by the single candle behind the two of you, “but it could also perhaps be because i love you so fucking much.”

and you whine, tired of waiting, moving the single bit you needed to connect your lips together and fall forward on his lap, your hands shooting up to his shoulders to use as much needed stability.

he groans, a sound from the back of his throat, from deep within him, his hands moving up to hold onto your waist as you move into him, kissing him with such fervor that you felt like you were going to die without feeling his lips on you.

it was so messy, the way your teeth clash against and noses bumped against each other, but it was what you so desperately needed. he was moving fast, his lips kissing against the corners of your mouth, down you chin as they found your neck, his smile growing as you throw your head back, fingering digging into his white strands as you tried to pull him in even closer.

you let out breathless sounds, sounds that you never knew you could make, but it seems to spur him on, planting wet and sloppy kisses on the column of your neck as she sucked, marking you up so that later people would know that you were his and his alone.

“gojo, i,” your eyes screw shut at the feeling of him, “feels so good,” you say breathlessly, moving closer up on his lap, feeling his hands tug at the flimsy chemise you have on, fingers slowly tugging it down, giving you time to push him off if you wanted to.

he looks up at you, his eyes needy, desperate, just as yours, and you nod, needing him to not stop.

he continues, pulling it down so that you're bare before him, nipples pebbling in the cold air as you go to cover up, suddenly realizing just what is happening, feeling shy, never like this in front of anyone before.

“we can stop,” he muttered against your lips, pressing a small peck to them, “we don’t have to do this now, we have all the time in the world,” he teases as he tugs your chemise up but you grab his wrist, stopping him as you shake your head.

“no,” you tug it down a little bit, “i’ve just,” you take in a deep breath, “just never done this before.”

he chuckles, eyes flashing darkly for just a quick second as he kisses along your jaw, leaving your skin shining in the limited light.

“good,” he murmurs, “‘cause i think i’d have to exercise my grandfather's way of handling people if somebody else saw you like this.” you laugh shortly, tugging sharply on some of his hairs as he looks up at you, eyes full of devotion that you’ve only dreamed about.

“beheading people for just seeing my tits?” you’re more crass than he is in some places, a sign of the different language you’ve heard growing up in the circumstances you’ve had, but he doesn’t care, likes it in fact.

“i’d burn down villages if anyone saw these,” he cups them in his hands, thumb flickering over your nipples as you suddenly arch into him, head falling back, “you’re so perfect,” he whispers into your skin, his lips hovering on the slope of your breasts as he takes time to admire your chest, “so beautiful,” you would’ve smacked him if not for the way he took one in his mouth, leaving you no time to think of anything else as a moan escapes your lips, the first of its kind.

“damn you gojo,” you moan, hearing his chuckle vibrate through your tits as his sucks on your nipple, tugging it with your teeth as you feel your stomach heat up, growing more and more wet as you buck up on his thigh, “you t-talk too much,” you shudder, eyes rolling back when he presses his flat tongue on your areola, his other hand massaging your other tit until he switches, leaving it glistening his his spit.

“yeah? then where do you want this mouth, hm?” he looks up at you with his eager eyes, just wanting to please you, and you feel like you’re becoming an addict, your cunt growing more and more wet as riding his thigh proves to not satiate the hunger.

“d-down,” you can’t think clearly, “please, need you so bad.”

“where?” he plays with you, pressing his hand against your stomach, “here?”

you shake your head, feeling needy and not in the mood to play around, not knowing where your sudden surge in confidence was coming from as you grab his wrist, leading it down to your cunt as you hide your face in his neck, whining.

“h-here, ‘toru, need you here,” he throws his head back, a sound coming from somewhere in his chest as his name falls from your glossy with spit lips, tugging the ends of your chemise up to your stomach as he stares at your bare pussy.

he pushes you back gently to lie on the bed, nestling between your legs as he savors the sight.

you cover your face with your hands, hearing him laugh at your expense, keeping your thighs spread wide open with his hands as he presses tantalizing kisses on the insides of them, each one closer and closer to the unbearable heat.

“wait,” you mutter, confused as to what he was doing, watching the way he snapped up, worried eyes finding your confused ones, following your stare down to his growing bulge.

“i thought…?” all the stories lydia would tell you didn’t start this way, usually beginning his the man pulling his dick out and being done in a couple of minutes, “do you not…?”

satoru breathes easy, laughing as he shakes his head, resting on his haunches as his palm rubs against your soft thighs. he looks so pretty like this, with his hair going haywire, some of it in his face, some of it messily pushed back. there’s a pink flush to hit face, his lips plump and shinning with spit.

“trust me, you have no idea how bad i want to feel you,” his eyes are so dark that you wonder if they’re even blue, “but i’m not going to do it in your condition. i don’t want to hurt you any more-”

“but,” you whine but he shakes his head, pinching your soft skin as you wince, hitting him with your knee as he rolls his eyes.

“i promise you’re going to like this,” he rubs softly against where he pinched you, smoothing the skin over, “do you trust me?”

“yes,” you mutter, watching as he breaks into a smile, “better not disappoint me though.”

“fuck, you’re such a minx,” he groans, spreading your lips open with his pointer finger, his dick aching at the sight of the string of arousal that connects them together, at the clear shine and wetness from just how much you needed him, “you’re actually going to be the death of me.”

“then hurry u-up ‘toru,” you say, “don’t die on me now,” your fingers were cutely curling in his hair, and he’d be an insane lunatic if he made you beg any more than you have, diving in as if you were actually his last meal before he died.

your mouth falls open in a silent scream, the feeling unlike anything. he sucked on your clit, moving up and down from your cunt, wanting to taste your saccharine wetness on his tongue to back up. he was so messy, so loud, and you felt like you were going to overheat, felt like everything was fogging your vision.

it felt so good. too good. his tongue dived in and out of you in a way that had you gripping his hand and the sheets under you, your leg around around his shoulders as you bucked into his open mouth, your wetness smearing all of his lips and chin as he ate you like a man starved for years.

“o-oh my god,” you mewl out, eyes rolling back as you felt one of his long, swift fingers slowly pushing into you, his lips still sucking on your clit as you felt like you were actually entering heaven.

“not god,” his voice is muffled, “just ‘toru.” you would have laughed if you could, your smile instantly dropping when his finger pumps in and out.

your toes curl, leg around his shoulder pulling him in closer if that was even possible. if he were to die right now he’d had the giddiest smile on his face, happy to have you dancing around on his tongue.

everything about this was shameless and you wondered if all your good deeds were finally catching up to you.

you don’t even care if the people sleeping next to you, above you, under you, or even at this inn could hear you, because when he put in his middle finger you screamed, back arching off the bed.

“so good, fuck, ‘toru, i,” you could even form a complete sentence, “feel so good,”

“yeah?” you nod feverishly, “fuck, you taste amazing, love this so much, love you so much,” he’s babbling with his words too, his nose sometimes accidentally rubbing against your clit, bringing you all the much more pleasure.

sometimes when you look down to see him you moan helplessly, your chest heaving at the way he’d rut mindlessly into the bed, his dick hard and swollen and achy from eating you out, about the burst from just your scent alone.

your stomach tightens and you feel an unfamiliar thing deep in the pit of your body, growing taut with each swipe, each like, each kiss he would give you. it made your moans more breathy, your words less understandable, and you felt like you were slowly going to go insane, losing all sense of reality.

“‘toru, i, i don’t know,” you’re sputtering, nails raking into his hair, your free hand grabbing onto your tits, the bed sheet, his shoulders, anything to help you ground you back down to earth, “i feel, f-fuck, oh my god, i,”

“you got this sweetheart,” he encouraged you, his words honeyed, “come on, let go for me, you can do it,” his thumb which had found its way to your clit was speeding up, his tongue and fingers taking turns as they pounded into you.

you felt that rope getting together and tiger, about to snap at any moment as you whined, tears escaping from the corners of your eyes as your lips huffed out puffs of air.

“i, f-fuck, i’m ‘gonna, oh…” you whine out loud, the line snapping, your orgasm crashing through you as your mouth falls slack.

it was mind numbing, the way everything went white, the way you tightened around his fingers which were slowing down. you creamed around him, leaving his skin shiny with your release, your pussy still pulsing seconds after as you try to catch your breath, still seeing white behind your lids as your tits move up and down with each haggard breath.

he presses on last kiss to your fluttering clit, hands massaging your quivering thighs as you slowly yet surely come back down to reality, each second passing bringing you back down with him.

“good?” he teases, his smile coy as you cover your eyes with one arm, lightly pushing him with the other.

“fine,” you mutter, peeking over to see him positively glowing, a stupidly large smile on his face when he sees you finally looking at him, pressing the fattest kiss to your lips as you squeal, eyes fluttering for a second as you taste yourself on him, parting your lips mindlessly to let his tongue slither in.

you whined against his lips, fingers curling around the collar of his open tunic, pulling him closer to your naked body, feeling your tits press up against his chest, everything so perfect that you wondered if you were dreaming.

“wait,” he muttered, pulling away from you, a string of spit connecting your lips together as you sit uop a little, you brows scrunched in confusion as you watch him sit up from the bed, walking over to the vanity as he rumages around the drawers for something.

he pulls out a small cloth, holding it up in victory as he grins, walking over to your nightstand as he wets it with soem water, crawling back into bed as he settles back in the middle of your thighs, gently pulling them apart as he starts cleaning you.

it’s all so intimate and so loving. you feel like melting watching his focused gaze, careful to be soft and slow, knowing that you’re a little stretched out, and pat it as best he could, cleaning around your thighs as well, throwing the cloth to the side as he climbs back up to you, pressing a loving kiss to your temple.

you shrug the rest of the chemise off, riddled with your essence and sweat, and pull the covers up, feeling the sudden chill now that satoru’s no longer eating you out like both your lives depended on it, and a silence falls over the room.

“is this a bad time to tell you about my horse laundering scheme with fushiguro?” you ask, your eyes shining mischievously as satoru whines, hiding his face in your chest as he pulls you closer to his body.

“you’re so evil,” he says against your skin.

you laugh, the sound going straight to his heart, his smile hidden.

but you fall silent and when you don’t speak he looks up, his eyes searching yours.

“what now?” you whisper, your fingers carding through his hair, feeling its softness, “i don’t…” you trail off, biting your lip as every other emotion that you had tucked away comes crawling back.

his finger finds its way to the middle of your browning, easing the crease that was forming.

“now you become my wife…if you would like to, of course…”

you search his eyes to see if he’s joking, but you only see honest sincerity in that sea of blue, his cheeks pink as he blushed.

“really?” you can barely say it without a giddy smile making its way on your face, one that he glows brightly at. if only he could bottle it, save it for when the universe collapsed and was in need of light.

“really,” he promises, holding you tightly to him, not wanting to ever let you go again, needing you next to him so that he could make sure his heart was working, to make sure that he was actually alive and that this wasn’t all a dream.

“i’ve loved you since the moment i saw you, ‘toru,” you whisper, nodding off to sleep as a yawn escapes your mouth.

“is that because i used to try to swoon you with food?” he whispers, his drowsy eyes finding yours as you sleepily giggle, kissing the tip of his nose as you curl into his heat, a smile on your face when you say the last words before you finally head off into sleep.

“perhaps.”

#gojo x reader #gojo x reader smut #gojo x you #gojo x you smut #gojo smut #satoru x reader #gojo satoru x reader #gojo satoru x reader smut #gojo x reader angst #gojo angst #jjk x reader #jjk smut #jjk x reader smut #jjk x you #gojo satoru #gojo x reader fluff

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starlightbright · 1 day

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RIP Ricky September they had to kill you because it would have been unrealistic to not keep you on as a companion 😔

EDIT: I've noticed some people taking this post really seriously, so to clarify: no, I don't think Ricky was literally a perfect uwu anti-racist angel. This post was mostly a joke about how he was running around doing companion shit and, most of all, how the Doctor and Ruby both thought he was a hottie. My actual feelings about Ricky are that he's a complacent white liberal. Character reading under the cut if you want an explanation.

I do think the implications of making him unplugged from the racism bubble, paralleling him with the Doctor (man who shows up with knowledge about history and technology and guides the other character through dangerous situations), and directly contrasting to Lindy (including being open to trust the Doctor without second guessing him the same way Lindy and all her friends did) are supposed to be that he wasn't like the other people there and is thus LESS racist since racism comes to be what defines their society. I've seen some people basically ask "then why'd he move to White People City?" but within the text it's actually Rich People City; the reason everyone there is white is because systemic racism financially benefits white people. Making him LESS racist is NECESSARY to giving his death any meaning - because if he definitively would have called the Doctor a slur and walked away, then the Dot killing him quickly was a mercy kill because we KNOW all the other residents are going to die in the wilderness.

THAT SAID, I also don't think he was a progressive anti-racist. Do you know what Ricky actually is? A white liberal. He might disengage from the White People Bubble, he might not be outwardly cruel to black people, but he's still surrounded by people who are and benefits from a system where ONLY WHITE PEOPLE ARE RICH. The culture might be fucked, but he still benefits from it without doing anything to actually fight it. It's like how many a white liberal will read about the history of slavery, feel sad about it, and then be uncritical of prison labor. If Ricky was meant to be progressive, there'd be something, ANYTHING in the text about how he's tried to educate his followers on their society's problems, but it got deleted. He is COMPLACENT.

That's sort of the point, I'd say, since the theme is about how priviledged white people put themselves in a bubble of people like them and choose to look away from what's wrong in society. Those people become complacent at best with no effort to actually speak out or change things. Hell, even within the text, Ricky SEES a problem others are looking away from (the slugs eating people), but only tries to fight it by making a TikTok about it and becomes complacent again, accepting that people are just going to be eaten.

So tl;dr: no, I don't think the white liberal kid literally would have been a companion. I think if you stuck him in the Ood episode, for example, he'd have shaken his head when he found out about their plight, maybe made a TikTok with sad music playing over footage of them, and then said "welp, nothing else can be done." I think it's FUNNY to imagine another companion that the Doctor and Ruby both are giggling like schoolgirls over.

Also I kind of thought he was ugly - no offense to the actor but the makeup they had him in combined with the lighting and closeups made him look way older than 27 so he gave off this uncanny "how do you do fellow kids?" look.

#doctor who #doctor who spoilers #dw #dw spoilers #dot and bubble

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jjunieworld · 2 days

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MEET ME AT OUR SPOT ˒˒ 심재윤

with the news of your grandma’s health, life has you moving to your mother’s seaside hometown for the summer to your aunt’s. while there, you meet the illustrious player—jake sim—that everyone can’t seem to stop talking about. what you never expected was to gain his attention and spend the three months you’re there falling for him.

pairing ‎⸝⸝⸝ jake sim x fem!reader 𓄷 iηcℓudᥱs 𓈓 jungwon, lifeguard!jay, player!sunghoon, and oc hana (jake’s ex)

genre﹙📓﹚⸝⸝⸝ angst, smut, fluff, strangers to temporary lovers, beach au, summer fling/summer love, lifeguard!jake, blonde!jake, kindaaa slow burn, h2o jokes references (i had to), slice of life, lifeguarding & surfing inaccuracies, reader is jungwon’s cousin

warnings ‎⸝⸝⸝ player!jake, toxic!jake, soft dom!jake, subtle manipulation, reader and hana almost drown once, mentions of reader’s dad passing (before story) and grandma’s depleting health, alcohol, skinny dipping, corruption kink, virgin!reader, inexperienced!reader, unprotected sex (condoms!), fingering, oral fixation, oral (f. rec), semi-public sex?, jake is jealous and a little possessive, he’s also lowkey a munch, hair pulling, cum eating?, petnames (baby, pretty), praise, jake talks you through it, creampie, dirty talk, slight dacryphilia, dumbification, marking

kipo’s note ‎⸝⸝⸝ this is mainly for @jjunberry (who held me at gunpoint to make this fic about jake), so echo i hope you enjoy!! ♡ i might make a part two,,, not sure! i have some ideas for it, but it depends on how everyone is feeling! >ㅅ< let me know what you think!! divider is by @/cafekitsune :D i hope you all enjoy!!! all feedback and reblogs are welcome! ♡

∿ [ 22k ] ⋆ [ continue on to . . . masterlist ]

your mom nudged you awake just as the plane was beginning to land. you rubbed your bleary eyes and blinked rapidly to try and get your eyes to adjust to the bright sunlight. nudging you again, your mom said, “wake up, we’re about to land.”

rolling your sore neck out, you sat up in your chair and looked around the plane at all the other passengers preparing themselves for the landing. you sighed softly to yourself, you never really liked planes—not that you’ve been on many. you were flying from the small town you called home to the small seaside hometown of your mother’s on the request of your aunt.

your aunt’s phone call still replayed in your head. you and your mom were in the middle of making lunch together when she got it. with a smile, your mom answered her sister’s call. “yes, older sister, is there a reason you’re interrupting my day?” your mom asked playfully.

her grin quickly vanished and through the phone you could hear your aunt say, “it’s mom… the doctors say she isn’t getting better…”

your mom turned you with a worried expression. you had stirred the contents of the pot on the stove before turning fully to your mom, brows furrowed. fear sank deep into your chest at the thought of your grandma not getting better. surely there was something else the doctors could do, right?

stepping up beside your mom at the kitchen island, you listened in to what your aunt was saying. “they’re trying everything they can. some things work—and she starts getting better—but some things don’t,” you could hear your aunt's voice start to wobble.

your aunt then quickly changed the subject away from your grandma’s depleting health, “why don’t you and y/n come down here for the summer? see grandma, jungwon, and i? it’s been so long since i’ve seen you both!”

you thought about the last time you saw your aunt and cousin. it was at your dad’s funeral—where you and your aunt had desperately tried to keep your mom together. it would be nice if you made a new, happier memory with them.

“oh…” your mom spoke, looking over to your place next to her. you could tell she was trying hard not to break in front of you. “we’ll be there.”

you and your mom were in your aunt’s car now after she had picked the two of you up from the airport. your head was resting against the glass as you peered out to the coastal scenery. you’ve never been to your mom’s hometown before. you had asked her once—sometime after your father’s death—and the sadness in her eyes made you regret asking. it was where your parents met. your father was visiting and the rest is history.

[ YOU HAD ME AT “HELLO” — 1ST MONTH ] ✈︎ ninety-two days until you return home.

your aunt pulled up to her and your mom’s childhood home where you could see your cousin, jungwon, waiting for you all on the porch. jungwon jogged up to the car just as you were exiting it, “y/nie! it’s been so long since i last saw you. did your head get bigger?”

“shut up!” you said, playfully pushing your cousin away from you. you put a finger to your chin in thought, “hmm, did you get shorter? i swear you were taller the last time i saw you.”

jungwon put a hand to his chest in mock hurt as he playfully rolled his eyes with a grin. he helped you and your mom get your luggage out from the car and drag it all inside.

you were staying in your mom’s childhood bedroom for the summer. although most of her decorations from her teen years had been taken down, you could still see the remnants of your mom in the room. you piled up your suitcases near the closet and dresser, turning to jungwon with a huff as you tried to catch your breath.

“we should head down to the beach after you’re done settling in! you said you’ve never been in the ocean, right?” jungwon asked you. you nodded in reply. you were excited to swim in the ocean and check out what the boardwalk had to offer.

“we should, that sounds fun!” you exclaimed. he then left and you started the lengthy process of turning the bedroom into your own for the summer. it didn’t help that you also overpacked. you couldn’t really tell what to bring and what not to bring to a small seaside town, so you kind of brought everything.

once you finished unpacking and taking a quick visit to your grandma’s room to greet her, you met jungwon in the living room. he was sitting on the couch scrolling through his phone. once he heard your approaching footsteps he looked up. “ready to go?” he asked you.

“ready to go,” you repeated with a nod. you had dressed in your bathing suit and cover before leaving your room and you saw that jungwon had done the same. he was clad in swim trunks with a black shirt. nerves bubbled in you about swimming in the ocean for the first time but you tried to not let anxious thoughts overwhelm you.

you and jungwon were making the short walk down to the ocean, which your aunt thankfully didn’t live too far from, when you caught sight of the boardwalk and marveled at all the shops and people around. you and jungwon laid your towels down in the sand and made your way straight to the bright blue water. squealing as jungwon flicked the cold water at you, you pushed your hands forward to splash him back. you then dunked completely under the water to try and get used to the coldness faster.

“oh my god!” you exclaimed as you surfaced, teeth chattering and body shivering, “i wasn’t expecting the water to be this cold!” you guessed that it was quite nice with the harsh heat of the summer sun beating down on you. jungwon’s laugh filled your ears as he splashed water at you again.

you weren’t the best of swimmers, that fact being very obvious to jungwon once he saw you doggy paddling in the water. you mostly stuck close to the shore, not wanting your feet to not be able to touch the ground. slowly, jungwon got you further and further out to try and help you swim better. it wasn’t working that well.

“i swear if i end up drowning out here because you’re a shitty swim teacher, i’m coming back to haunt you so bad!” you shouted to jungwon as you dipped under the water with the small oncoming wave. jungwon laughed hard, “don’t be mad at me because you’re a shitty swim student! besides, there’s like three lifeguards on the beach right now.”

jungwon motioned back to the shore at the three lifeguards. you turned to look, their small figures elevated from the rest of the crowd. one of them blew their whistle at some kid trying to drown another kid. distantly, you heard him yell, “stop trying to drown her before i kick you off the beach!”

you turned back to jungwon, “they seem preoccupied.”

jungwon shook his head with a smile. “well i’m kind of hungry… i’m gonna go get something to eat. you coming with or staying in the water?” jungwon asked you. you thought it over for a moment. you weren’t particularly hungry. “i’ll stay in the water. you know, hone my swimming skills while you’re gone,” you replied.

“don’t drown!” jungwon said as he began making his way to the shore. you scoffed playfully at him. once you were alone in the water, you started trying to actually swim a little. you decided that you wanted to test yourself to see what you learned by going further out in the ocean.

you were swimming, pretending to be a mermaid and going absolutely nowhere when all of a sudden a bigger wave than normal came rushing towards you. you noticed it a second too late and it crashed into you, causing you to submerge in the water.

just as you surfaced, gasping for air, another wave hit you and submerged you again. you hands grasped at air and your lungs burned as your ears rang. you didn’t know how long you spent being pummeled by the water until you felt arms wrap around you.

you were flipped onto your back as they pulled you to the surface. sputtering and gasping, you were finally able to inhale properly and bring oxygen back to your lungs. you tried to move but your limbs were heavy with exhaustion and you couldn’t help closing your eyes from the bright sun.

your back hit a hard surface and you cracked your eyes open to see that you were on a surfboard. “i got you, don’t worry,” a male voice, who you were assuming was one of the lifeguards, said above you. you started to cough violently as you held on for dear life to the surfboard. “thank you,” you managed to whisper hoarsely.

“no worries!” he responded breezily. you could feel him paddle you back to shore. you focused on taking deep breaths and trying to still your racing heart. you could’ve died back there all because you got cocky. if the lifeguard didn’t rescue you when he did you would’ve drowned.

once you both got back to the shore the lifeguard gave you a once over to ensure everything was all right. he pushed the blonde hair off his forehead as he spoke to you, “are you okay?”

you nodded weakly and said a bit flusteredly, “i think so, yes. thank you again, truly!” he flashed a bright smile at you and you couldn’t help but notice how cute he was. it almost made you want to jump back into the water and purposefully sink to the bottom so he would come and save you again.

“maybe you should stay out of the water for a while,” he said with a smile, “especially if you’re alone.” just at that moment you heard your name being shouted, the sound getting closer and closer to you. it was your cousin and you could hear the worry in his voice.

“oh my god, y/n!” jungwon exclaimed as he bent down towards you in the sand. he kept repeating what he said a couple times as he inspected you. you had to push his hands away and tell him that you were fine thanks to the lifeguard.

“i told you not to drown!” he suddenly shouted. if the people around you weren’t already staring at you, they were now. heat rose to your face from all of the sudden attention and embarrassment filled you. before you could speak the lifeguard chimed in, “technically she didn’t!”

you raised your brows as you smiled at how annoyed jungwon looked from his comment. “exactly, i got saved!” you added. jungwon waved a hand at you as you got to your feet with the aid of the lifeguard. jungwon then grumbled to himself, “i knew i should’ve made you come with me. and just my luck too, i left my food back at the table!”

turning swiftly to you, jungwon took your arm, “alright, beach time is over, we're going home. you get to explain to our moms how you managed to almost drown.” he pushed you towards the entrance of the boardwalk. jungwon then turned to the lifeguard and said, “oh! thank you for saving her!”

the two of you were almost out of the boardwalk when jungwon asked you why you kept looking behind you. you quickly turned to face forward with heated cheeks. you had been staring back at the attractive lifeguard, not realizing how obvious you were being about it. “that lifeguard was cute,” you said meekly.

jungwon looked behind him to look, “oh, jake? you really don’t want to get involved with him, y/n… he’s kind of a player.” you began to laugh off his statement when you turned to look at jake again and saw how he was surrounded by a group of girls in colorful bikinis.

jake had a smirk on his face as he wrapped his arm around a girl with dark hair while talking to another. your heart sunk a little in your chest. of course you weren’t the most special girl in the world, but that didn’t mean that you didn’t feel a little disappointed. you had to be realistic with yourself, someone like jake wasn’t going to fall for an average, everyday girl like you.

“oh…” was all you could say in reply as you turned back to the path you were taking home. you tried to think of the bright side of things—at least you wouldn’t end the summer with a failed relationship and a broken heart.

it had been almost a week since you arrived and besides the small beach trip you and jungwon took when you first got here, you haven’t left the house much. you were pretty sure that you were driving your mom and aunt crazy, especially when your mom brought up the idea of you getting a summer job. “it’s easy cash!” your mom explained, setting her open book down on her lap.

you aunt chimed in, “yeah! i heard mrs. song needed some more employees, why don’t you go down to the juice bar and apply?” you supposed that earning a little bit of cash while you were here wasn’t that bad of an idea, so you did exactly what your aunt suggested.

mrs. song didn’t even spare one glance at you and all she asked was, “can you make a smoothie?” you told her that you could—and very well if you do say so yourself—and she responded with, “great, you’re hired! you start monday at nine.”

you hadn’t realized that it would be that easy. she didn’t even interview you, but you put it to the back of your mind. you weren’t the one to pass up easy money. you had thought that it would at least take maybe an hour to go through the whole process, so now you were out and about with nothing to do. you decided to explore the town a little by yourself, since you still were unfamiliar with the whole place.

as your feet moved mindlessly, you looked around. it was a beautiful day out today, just cool enough for the summer sun not to boil you. you were so lost in your thoughts that you didn’t realize that you were climbing over some rocks to a secluded part of the beach until you almost slipped and fell.

there was a cove where a small amount of the water flowed in to an open cave-like entrance. being the curious person you were, you decided to follow it. you peeked into the cave, there was a huge opening at the top of it that let in a lot of sunlight. cautiously, with your flip flops in your hand, you made your way into the cave. you guess it wasn't really a cave at all, more of an open rock structure.

you were in the middle of the cave, the opening at the ceiling shining sunlight onto you, when you heard behind you, “oh!” jumping in shock, you turned to where the voice came from.

it was the cute lifeguard who saved you earlier this week—jake. he wore his shock completely on his face as he was frozen mid stride. there was a towel balled up in his arms along with what looked like some fishing equipment. heat quickly spread through your face as you struggled to make eye contact with him. “wasn’t expecting anyone to be here…” he murmured to himself, shaking the blonde hair out of his eyes slightly. you noticed he had an accent.

“oh! i’ll go!” you quickly said, already making your way back to the entrance. jake held up his hands to stop you and in the process his towel fell to the sand below the both of you. “no, no, no, that’s okay! you can stay if you want. uh… hello!” he replied with a smile.

you froze right in front of him like a deer in headlights, but managed to nod. he nodded back to you, smile widening, before making his way further into the cave. he sat his stuff down a couple feet from the small pool of water that formed from the ocean. you stood in the same spot by the entrance and watched him.

“nice meeting you again! what was your name? are you new here? i feel like you are. i haven’t seen you around before,” jake asked you, looking up from where he fiddled with his fishing hook. you took small steps towards him and nodded. “uh, yeah! my name’s y/n—i’m just here for the summer actually! thanks again for, you know, saving my life,” you said awkwardly.

jake chuckled, “seriously! no worries, y/n! so… how’d you find this place? i mean, nobody really knows about it but me.” he put his hook down and stood from his spot, giving you his full attention.

“i was just wandering around really…” you trailed, scratching the back of your neck, “i’ve been trying to explore the area since everything is so new to me.” jake’s eyebrows raised and he nodded at your words.

“you know what, you should let me show you around town since you’re new here!” jake exclaimed like it meant absolutely nothing. your eyebrows shot up at his offer. he wanted to show you around? just the two of you?

you shook your head a little and waved a hand in the air at him, “oh, you don’t have to bother! i can find my way around by my—“

jake cut you off and playfully said, “come on, i insist! i can’t just let you wander around blind! besides, this town may be small, but it does have its secrets. and lucky for you, i just so happen to know all of them!” he motioned around the cave that the two of you were in. “for example: this place,” he added.

call it genuine curiosity or the fact that you found him so attractive and charming that you couldn’t say no, you agreed. “if you insist!” you laughed sheepishly and jake smiled from ear to ear. the warning of him being a player got completely pushed out of your mind and all you could think about was the opportunity of getting close to him. everything seemed so perfect for it.

jake walked up to you and wrapped an arm around your shoulder, “good, good! i was gonna go fishing, but this is way more fun. from here on out, this place will be known as our spot!” jake held a hand out as he turned the two of you in a circle. you giggled and glanced over at him, “our spot, got it!”

for the rest of the day, you and jake spent time getting to know each other as he showed you around town. he was a lot different than you thought he would be. for one, you expected him to be a lot more standoffish, but he was really friendly instead.

the two of you were sitting at one of the tables outside of a food stand after getting food when you asked jake what he liked to do for fun—besides the fishing he was going to do earlier. “well, i like long walks on the beach and—“ he joked before you cut him off with a nudge to his shoulder.

“be serious!” you exclaimed as he started laughing, which made you laugh too. jake raised his shoulders and exclaimed, “what! i do like long walks on the beach, they’re calming!”

after the two of you settled down a little, jake suddenly asked, “do you have a bucket list?” you thought for a moment. you’ve heard of the whole concept of bucket lists, but you always thought them too unrealistic to actually go through with it. it was more of those things that you thought would be nice to do, but knew you were never going to be able to do it.

“no, i don’t,” you replied.

jake’s eyes widened at you from across the table. the setting sun casted him in a hazy glow and made his blonde hair almost appear pinkish. “you don’t have a bucket list? no, we need to fix this. we’re coming up with a bucket list together—what’s something you always wanted to do?” he asked rapidly.

“i’ll have to think this through first!” you quickly spoke, holding your hands out in front of you to slow him down, “it has to be realistic if we’re gonna do this together, i’m only here for three months! and i want to be able to have memories of it—physical memories!”

“okay, okay, i’ll give you until tomorrow to come up with some ideas!” jake laughed, “but what do you mean physical memories?” he leaned forward onto the table and rested his head in his hand as he waited for your answer.

humming in thought, you replied, “like one of those cheap disposable cameras! we can take a bunch of pictures of us going through the bucket list and at the end of summer when i’m gone we can get them developed! that way we stay in the moment.” jake’s eyes lit up and he practically dragged you out of your seat and down the boardwalk.

“i know just the place!” he said and led you towards the entrance of the boardwalk. after walking a short distance, jake pulled you into a place that selled various types of cameras. you had gotten there just in time, since the store was just about to close for the night.

the two of you had run around the store looking for the disposable cameras you were talking about, having absolutely no luck, until you heard jake call out your name. when you made your way over to him he held two in his hands out for you to see. “one for you and one for me!” he grinned.

you made your way over to the register and jake paid for them—which you complained about but he ignored you anyways. once you got outside you both ripped the packages open. you heard jake turning the dial and looked up. he had the camera up to his face and took a picture of you just as you looked up.

blinking rapidly, a shy smile took over your face. “what was that for?” you asked. jake grinned from behind the camera and lowered it to look fully at you.

“i want my first memory to be of you,” jake said simply. your eyes widened and your heart did backflips in your chest. heat spread to your cheeks and you looked away at the intensity of his stare.

“really?” you asked quietly. you heard jake’s laugh and his finger was under your chin. he turned your head so you were looking at him. the two of you were so close you could feel his breath fanning across your cheeks. jake nodded at you.

with a smile he added, “you’re so cute.” he held his camera up and aimed it at the both of you so that you were in frame. still shocked from what just happened, you idly looked up the camera with a dazed smile and jake snapped another picture.

to break the sudden tension, you turned to him with a flustered smile. “i want one of us too!” you said cheerfully. you held your camera up and jake wrapped his arm around your waist and pulled you close until you were completely up against him. your face felt on fire as you snapped the picture.

you looked over to jake—who still had his arm wrapped around you waist—and quickly came up with an excuse to escape the tension. “i should probably start heading home,” you muttered as jake stared back at you, “it’s getting late.”

jake slowly removed his arm—not far, as it now rested on your hip as you turned to face him. “i’ll walk you,” he replied.

the walk back to your aunt’s was shorter than you expected and it made you wish that you purposefully took a couple wrong turns so that you could stay with jake longer. you were beginning to really enjoy his company and wanted to get to know him more. you took a step towards the porch before turning to jake. “this is me…” you trailed.

he had given you his number on the walk over so you could talk more about the summer plans you had come up with. “it was nice getting to know you today,” jake spoke softly, a smile slipping onto his lips. you nodded and agreed with him.

“thank you for making my summer more interesting! if it weren’t for your bucket list idea i probably would just stay in the house the whole summer whenever i’m not working at the juice bar…” you chuckled. jake joined in with you and said that it was no problem.

for a second, you thought that he was going to kiss you, like how this scene played out before in so many movies. an awkward smile overcame your face and you took another step towards the door. “i’ll see you later?” you asked, taking more steps towards the door.

“absolutely! after your shift tomorrow—you did say you worked tomorrow, right?” jake asked and you nodded in reply. he then said, “i’ll see you tomorrow then!”

when you finally got into the house you inhaled deeply and exhaled slowly. you took your shoes and jacket off by the door just as your mom came down the stairs. “you were gone all day! where have you been?” she asked curiously and made her way to the kitchen.

following her, you responded, “just out exploring the town… i made a new friend!” she hummed and turned to raise her eyebrows at the last part. “new friend? that’s good, honey! maybe you won’t be inside all summer,” she teased.

the two of you laughed and you made your way upstairs to get ready for bed. you placed the disposable camera on your dresser, a small smile coming to your lips as you thought about the day you just had. slipping into bed, you tried to not let the excitement for tomorrow not let you sleep and closed your eyes.

jake: meet me at our spot? jake: after your shift, of course.

your shift had just ended when jake had texted you. the two of you texted all night about potential bucket list ideas for the summer but neither of you had decided on anything concrete.

you: i’ll see you there!

when you got to you and jake’s “spot”, he was waiting there for you, two drinks in hand while sitting in the sand. the sunlight from up above perfectly lit him up and made his blonde hair glow. he extended one of the drinks out to you—the same drink you had gotten last night on your little adventure together—as he rose to his feet.

you thanked him with a warm smile and the two of you had begun going over different ideas for your bucket list. “remember though, i’m only here for three months! it can’t be anything crazy like going skydiving or anything,” you told jake as you sat side by side in the sand near the entrance of the cave.

jake nodded and pretended to cross something off midair. “got it—no skydiving,” he said with a playful pout. you giggled at him while nudging him with your shoulder as you rolled your eyes.

“what about… surfing?” you asked, turning to jake. “i’ve never been surfing before, but that’s mainly because i can’t swim… maybe that isn’t a good idea actually.” you let out a nervous laugh as you recalled the way you and jake met and your cheeks heated from the embarrassment.

“lucky for you,” jake said while standing to his feet and putting his hands on his hips, “you have the number one lifeguard here to teach you and look out for you!” jake started flexing in various poses, making you laugh as you looked up at him.

“seriously, though. i can teach you! nothing will happen to you on my watch,” jake exclaimed as he sat back down. you shrugged, he was your best option considering that he’s literally a lifeguard. if something went south, at least you knew you’d survive with him by your side. nodding, you agreed, “okay, deal!”

you and jake spent the rest of the time at your spot debating on various things you both wanted to do for your bucket list. other than him teaching you how to surf, the both of you also came up with stargazing, going to the summer splash charity event, and doing something adventurous—like skinny dipping.

the summer splash charity event is a party that raises money to provide resources for the sheltered animals in town. according to jake, it happens every year and everyone goes to it. it’s a formal event that everyone dresses to the nines for. you made a mental note to ask your mom about it to see if she had a dress you could borrow.

“skinny dipping?!” you whipped around to where jake was sitting, feet in the water as he mindlessly dipped his finger into it. he looked back to where you were standing, “what? you said you wanted to do something adventurous and that’s the first thing i thought of!”

you wrapped your arms around yourself, suddenly self conscious, as you shifted your weight from one leg to the other. noticing the change in your body language, jake stood as came up to you slowly. “we can do it at night when the beach is completely empty—or not at all if you’re not comfortable. it’s completely up to you,” jake said softly.

you looked down to your feet as you thought about it. you did tell him that you wanted to do something adventurous this summer, break out of your shell. there’s nothing more adventurous and nothing that screams “breaking out of your shell” quite like skinny dipping does. you inhaled deeply, “no… let’s do it—only at night though and only when the beach is completely empty.”

jake’s eyebrows raised but you couldn’t miss the slight smirk that was making its way onto his lips. “are you sure?” he asked seriously.

you hit jake in the arm. “don’t pretend like you aren’t excited to see a naked girl!” you joked, trying to lift the tension. the smirk on his face shifted to a grin and he broke out into a laugh. jake held his hands up in the air and turned away from you. “i can’t say that i’m not,” he replied.

the first month of your stay was almost coming to an end and it seemed as if you and jake were attached at the hip. for the entire month, jake had shown you the ins and outs of the small seaside town until you knew it like the back of your hand. your disposable cameras had filled up and you had to buy another one from all the pictures you’ve taken.

a smile came to your face and heat spread across your cheeks as you thought about one of the special pictures you’ve taken just yesterday. you and jake were out on the town again, him showing you this skate park that nobody really uses anymore. the two of you sat on the edge of the ramp and you listened as jake pointed out various graffitied names and told you about the people behind them.

it was nighttime, and you knew you should start heading home before it got too late out, but—like always—you didn’t want your time with jake to end. the moment grew quiet and your eyes traveled over all the different names and made up different stories for them. you felt a pair of eyes on you and looked over to where jake was staring intently at you.

“i’m glad i got to meet you,” he said softly, leaning closer to you. you looked away briefly, a flustered smile lighting up your features and face heating. you couldn’t imagine a different timeline where you didn’t meet jake.

“i’m glad i got to meet you, too,” you replied shyly. jake smiled and reached his hand up to cup your cheek. for another moment, which seemed everlasting, the two of you looked into each other’s eyes. when his lips pressed to yours, everything felt as if it fell into place. it felt as if this was the moment when everything clicked—when you knew what you’d finally been looking for.

you were filled with passion that threatened to break out. you pulled jake closer and the thought of needing to breathe didn’t even cross your mind. that was, until your lungs screamed for air and you and jake finally pulled away from each other.

a smile broke out onto your face and it did on jake’s as well. he chuckled slightly and held your hands in his. then his eyes lit up suddenly and he was pushing himself off the ground and jogging over to where your bags were.

“what are you doing?” you giggled, turning fully to where he stood. he dug in both of your bags and pulled out the cameras. jake then jogged back over to you, dropping back down to the ground next to you, and handed you your camera.

“you said you wanted physical memories, right?” jake held up his camera so that the two of you were in frame with all the graffitied names in the back. “say cheese!” he smiled and you laughed—which he caught with the flash of the camera.

“now you,” jake added, urging you to hold up your camera. you laughed again and held up your camera, head tilted against jake’s, as you snapped a picture. you turned to jake and he smiled at you. he then pressed a kiss to your cheek and laughed at how flustered you got from it, which he also managed to catch on camera.

when you did finally get home, drunk on the thought of the kiss you and jake shared, jungwon was waiting for you. he sat on the couch, some random show he wasn’t watching playing on the tv. when you stepped through the door, he turned towards you.

“you and jake have been spending a lot of time together…” jungwon trailed, eyebrows knitting together. the smile on your face vanished and you quickly took off your shoes.

“yeah…” you mumbled in reply, “what about it? we’re friends.” you didn’t mean for your words to come out so harsh, but you couldn’t help it. you were getting two different ideas of jake and you believed the one that came straight from the source more rather than the one that was passed around.

jungwon’s eyebrows raised slightly, “i just want you to be careful and to not get hurt. i told you, he’s a player, and i don’t want you to get caught up—“

“i’m a big girl, jungwon. i can handle myself,” you cut him off abruptly. anger pulsated through you. why does he keep telling you this? “jake isn’t like that—not anymore.”

before jungwon could speak again, you stormed off to your room. you refused to let his words ruin your night, not after you and jake had finally kissed. you tried to focus your mind on the kiss, the way his soft lips felt against yours and the tickle of his blonde hair—dark brown roots barely grown out—against your skin.

inhaling deeply, you got ready for bed. under the security of the covers, you opened up your phone to send a message to jake. a smile made its way across your face and it took everything in you not to squeal as you put your phone on your nightstand.

you: i had a really great time tonight! sweet dreams! jake: me too! sweet dreams, pretty.

you mentally slapped yourself to stop thinking about his text. “pretty,” he called you pretty. you giggled to yourself and turned over in your bed, shutting your eyes.

[ YOU KNOW I’LL “SEE YOU LATER” — 2ND MONTH ] ✈︎ sixty-two days until you return home.

it’s been almost a week since the kiss you and jake shared. the two of you had fallen naturally into things a couple do—go on what seem like dates, kiss and such. you were so sure that jake was going to ask you to be his girlfriend, yet he’s made nothing official.

you thought that maybe you were imagining the whole thing, that the two of you haven’t kissed at all and nothing has changed between the two of you, but that was until he kissed you again. and again. the only thing he asked you is if you wanted to go to a beach party one of his friends is having this weekend—which you agreed to.

you sat slumped against the counter of the juice bar. today was a slow day and you began regretting working there at all with how much your feet hurt. “i don’t know, what do you think? am i overthinking things? i just feel like he should’ve asked me by now…” you looked to your side to where your coworker, hana, leaned near the smoothie machine.

you met hana on your third day of working at the juice bar and the two of you became fast friends. you didn’t have a lot of shifts together, but when you did she told you all the gossip on some of the people around town who you’ve never met and probably never will. in return, you mainly shared your anxious thoughts revolving jake, which she didn’t seem to mind hearing.

“are you sure he’s not playing you?” hana asked, somewhat hesitantly. you sighed and looked away, focusing your attention on the ocean waves ahead. you hated how many times people asked you that question.

“there’s nothing to play if i’m not even his girlfriend,” you stated. to which hana responded with a “…not quite.”

“i know this is a sore subject for you so i’ll keep it brief, but what if he is?” she pushed off the counter and made her way over to you, slumping next to you as she looked at you. she rested her head in her hand, “i don’t really know this jake, but i have heard of him. and i’ve heard that he cheated on his last girlfriend. now that could just be a rumor, but he doesn’t exactly have the cleanest track record. the guy has hooked up with every girl he could lay his eyes on—what if he’s just trying to get into your pants?”

you groaned and buried your face in your arms. this really didn’t help with your overthinking. what if jake was just trying to get into your pants? what if this all was some elaborate scheme to get close to the new girl so he could sleep with you? what if he wasn’t the person he was making himself out to be?

“what if he is?” you asked, voice muffled. you already knew the answer, hana didn’t even need to say it. and she didn’t. hana rubbed comforting circles onto your back instead.

“my shift is about to end… i really hope that what i said isn’t true y/n, but for your own sake… i would be careful around him.” you got up from the counter, nodding at hana and her departure, and sighed again. from your pocket you felt your phone buzz and looking at it, you laughed wryly. the universe really does have a way with things…

jake: hang out with me after your shift? jake: we can get a move on with our bucket list and i can teach you how to surf!

you wanted to bang your head off the counter at how your heart fluttered from him messaging you. you wanted to heed everyone’s constant warnings, but a part of you wanted to push them out of your head. a part of you wanted to cast caution to the wind and take the leap of faith. jake couldn’t be playing you, he couldn’t. that just didn’t seem like him. a part of you wanted to keep moving forward with your relationship, close your eyes to the fact that you could very well be walking down the path of getting hurt.

at this point, you were in too deep. if you got hurt, then you got hurt. at least then you’d know it was real—at least for you. caution be damned. you inhaled sharply as your fingers typed out your response:

you: of course! meet me at the beach after i grab my swimsuit? jake: i’ll see you later!

after your shift ended—and you ran back home to grab your swimsuit—you met jake at the beach like you both agreed. he was already clad in swim trunks, the lack of shirt shocking you for a quick second, and leaning against the surfboard he had next to him. “you ready?” jake asked as you walked up to him, a smile gracing his lips as he pushed off his surfboard.

you nodded, eager to get into the water and cool down your heated cheeks. the two of you made your way into the water together after he grabbed another surfboard for himself, passing the one he was carrying to you.

jake had begun teaching you how to actually even get on the board, firstly getting onto your stomach and then eventually standing. when you finally cheered at the fact that you were able to stand and not embarrassingly slide off into the water, he then taught you how to actually ride a wave.

“steady… and then up!” jake guided next to you as the two of you caught a small wave. when you surfed back to the shore you jumped to your feet and cheered, wrapping your arms around his bare torso.

“i did it! i did it!” you cheered, twirling you and jake as he laughed. you pulled away from him, smile still as big as the sun. jake pulled you into a brief kiss, pulling away with a proud smile. “you did it!” jake cheered back.

with your flustered gaze, you turned back to the oncoming waves with newfound courage, but instead noticed something else. in the distance, you could see someone flailing in the water. their head went under with the oncoming waves. in wordless shock all you could do was point towards the water while hitting jake’s arm until the words finally spilled from your mouth, “someone’s drowning!”

jake turned towards the direction you pointed in just as the person in the water gasped for air and went back under. his eyes widened and he briefly looked around at the lifeguards present on the beach. when he saw that none of them were paying attention, he picked up his surfboard from the sand and took off towards the water.

you stood back on the shore, worry eating at you as jake pulled the person onto the surfboard and swam them back to shore. it reminded you of how he saved you on your first day here. when he reached shore you helped him get the unconscious person onto the sand as one of the lifeguards ran towards your direction.

your eyes widened in horror as you realized it was your friend, hana. jake alternated doing mouth to mouth and chest compressions on her until her eyes sprang open and she coughed up water. “oh my god, hana! are you okay?” you bent down to ask with furrowed brows, cradling her cheek with your hand.

weakly, she nodded and smiled at you. hana turned her attention to jake, her smile widened as she let out a hoarse “thank you, you saved my life!” jake gave her a tight-lipped smile and nodded, his eyes finding yours. the two of you backed up as the lifeguard on duty took over.

“that’s one of my good friends from work!” you exclaimed as you looked back at the scene, brows knitted together. “i really hope she’s okay… almost drowning is really scary.”

jake’s hand found yours and he pulled you back to where your towels were. his face was weirdly blank and there was what almost seemed to be a scowl on his lips. you put a hand on his shoulder and leaned towards him, “hey… you alright?”

jake just nodded, giving you a smile that didn’t reach his eyes. “that was just kinda hectic… why don’t we go do something else instead of surfing again?” he asked you. you nodded, an empathetic smile forming on your lips.

the weekend had arrived and the beach party that seemed to be the talk of the town was tonight. instead of being excited for your first ever beach party, you were nervously shifting your phone in your hands. since the whole beach incident, it’s been almost radio silence from jake. when he was answering your texts, they were only one word replies or dry texts.

you didn’t understand what had gone wrong. at first you thought he needed space. saving someone’s life was no easy feat and definitely had to take a toll on him, but you wanted to be there for him any way that you could.

when you saw him one day while working, he acted like he didn’t even hear you calling him—choosing to instead hurry off with one of his friends. your heart dropped and hana rubbed more comforting circles into your back as you tried not to cry. “he really seems like he’s playing you, y/n…” hana had trailed off hesitantly, knowing how much of a sensitive issue this was for you. “maybe you should just end things officially with him.”

what if jake was playing you?

you did the finishing touches on your outfit for the party and took another look at yourself in the mirror, a small smile forming on your lips. it was just your bathing suit and a simple cover up, but you looked good, if you did say so yourself. you grabbed your phone again, hoping to hear from jake but knew that you wouldn’t. sighing, you threw your phone onto your bed.

you debated even going to the stupid party—in fact, you were already an hour and a half late for it. what was the point if the person who invited you wasn’t even talking to you? but you thought fuck that. you were going to go out and enjoy your summer at a party you were going to have fun at, with or without jake.

after doing another once over in the mirror, you grabbed your things and made your way downstairs for the walk down to the beach. if jake was going to ignore you, you were going to ignore him right back. tonight, you were only going to care about you, not him. two can play at this petty game.

you could hear the music playing from the party, which only got louder and louder the nearer you got to it. there were bodies everywhere, including those in the water. everyone was clad in their bathing suits, either chatting with others or pulling each other into the water. you made your way over to where a bar was set up and grabbed yourself a drink.

you didn’t want to get too drunk tonight, since you were alone, but you wanted something in your system. nursing the drink, you wandered around to find something to do. it dawned on you how little people you knew here. you didn’t really expand your friendships much besides jake and hana.

the cool night breeze made you shiver slightly, so you decided to make your way over to where there was a campfire set up. there were plenty of people around it and maybe you could meet some new friends. that’s when your heart dropped.

just a few feet ahead of you was jake and his friends, no doubt drunk out of their minds. you wondered how you didn’t hear their loud bantering over the music, but you guess that it all sort of blended in. jake sat on a beach chair, some random girl in his lap with his hand resting on her ass. it wasn’t any girl you recognized.

what the fuck, you thought, anger bubbling up inside you. i knew it, i should’ve knew he was playing me like the fucking fool i am. just at that moment you and jake made eye contact, the smile on his face faltering as he took in your look of pure devastation. you should’ve just stayed home.

turning on your feet, your eyes scanned for somewhere you could run to, but seeing nowhere good enough they landed on the water ahead. it’ll have to do.

you stripped off your bathing suit cover and speed walked with fevered passion out towards the water, hoping that the darkness will cover up your tracks. you didn’t even care that the water was freezing cold, you couldn’t feel it with how the anger was heating up your skin. instead, you dipped your head underwater for a couple seconds, complete silence and darkness calming you briefly, before surfacing again. luckily, jake didn’t follow you out—if you could even consider that luck.

as soon as you surfaced, you were face to face with a stranger you didn’t know. you let out a shocked gasp and moved backwards. “sorry,” the stranger awkwardly chuckled, giving you some space. “i saw you storm in the water—it’s not safe to be out here in the dark swimming in the ocean alone.”

you quirked an eyebrow at him, “what’s it to you?” you really didn’t need more people making this moment difficult for you.

his face lit up like he forgot to mention a very crucial piece of information. “oh! uh—i’m a lifeguard.” he held out his hand to you, the moonlight illuminating it. what was up with you and lifeguards? you hesitantly took it and gave him a wary smile. “i’m jay. you’re jake’s girl, right?”

your smile immediately dropped. you weren’t “jake’s girl,” and it was clear that you never was. all you were to him was some pawn in a game you didn’t even really know you were playing. “not jake’s girl,” you responded.

you looked back to the campfire, seeing that jake and some of his friends were nowhere to be found. you turned back to jay, “and i guess you’re right. i can't swim that well anyways.” a sheepish smile made it’s way onto your face.

“maybe i should get you back to shore then…” jay laughed, “get you warmed up by the campfire? it’s pretty chilly out here and i wouldn’t want you to get sick.” you nodded and the two of you swam back to the shore together. as soon as you stepped out, your teeth chattered and your body shook like a leaf. all the heat from the anger dissipated and now you were just cold.

you and jay sat side by side on a log, the flames from the fire drying you off and warming your bodies. after a couple moments, jay turned to you and said, “you don’t seem to be one who falls for a player’s antics like jake’s.”

caught completely by surprise, you cleared your throat slightly as you thought of something to say. you weren’t one to fall for a player, especially after being warned so much about him. it was unlike you. but there was just something about jake that kept luring you in, like a lamb to the slaughter. “i guess i was too caught up in being in a new town that i put caution aside…” you trailed, staring down at your hands.

jay hummed, “ah, new girl. i see.” you looked over to him and nodded, trying to lighten the mood with a small laugh. “you live and you learn,” jay added, almost solemnly. it made you wonder what he had to go through to give you such advice. you didn’t have the chance to ask before you saw jake barreling his way over towards you, stumbling over his own feet.

he stood across the fire from you and jay, anger dripping from his face. “wow, you move on quick!” he seethed, eyes locking on yours. jake’s accent was heavy and thick, words slurred. you scoffed at him. did he think you didn’t see him with that other girl on his lap?

you shot up from your seat, “i move on quick? me? you literally had some girl on your lap after ignoring me for days, jake.” in the corner of your eyes you saw the attention the two of you were gathering. people dipping by other’s ears to whisper about the two of you. you didn’t even have to guess what they were saying. you knew that it had to be something along the lines of “jake sim strikes again! another stupid girl fell into his trap. they just don’t know how to learn.”

ignoring your words, jake instead said, “i didn’t know you were such a whore, y/n.” you face contorted to one of hurt and you took a small step back, the back of your foot knocking against the log you were just seated on.

jay jumped from the log, moving ever so slightly to step in front of you. “what the fuck, man?” jay hissed towards jake. jake didn’t even pay him any attention, his eyes never left yours.

you didn’t know how everything went so wrong. it seemed like just yesterday jake was kissing you for the first time at the abandoned skate park. now everything was so twisted and you were left standing in the center of it all. you desperately tried to not let tears well up in your eyes. jake didn’t get to go treat you this way—he didn’t get to win. you looked him dead in the eyes, “what the fuck is wrong with you, jake?”

before he could answer, his friend came up to him and slang and arm around his shoulder. you recognized him, despite jake never introducing you to any of his friends. park sunghoon, jake’s bestfriend and right-hand man—and no doubt another player. his eyes glided over your body, still somewhat wet from your dip in the ocean. his lips curled up into a smirk, “who’s this jake? victim number…” he trailed off into a laugh, eyes hooded from the alcohol. “oh wait… i lost count,” sunghoon laughed again.

the anger disappeared from jake’s face, now replaced with complete detachment as he turned to sunghoon and laughed. you literally couldn’t believe what you were seeing. was this how he treated every girl who had unfortunately fallen into his web?

“she’s cute,” sunghoon said, eye’s trailing you again. you had the urge to cover up, pulling your bathing suit cover tighter around you, suddenly feeling disgusted at the fact that they were talking about you like you weren’t even there.

“make your move, i bet she’ll let you take her right here,” jake replied, looking at you. your mouth opened in shock and you were frozen in place. jake was like a completely different person. no—this must’ve been the real him he was hiding from you to get in your pants. you were in such shock that you didn’t even see jay’s fist connecting with jake’s face until they were rolling around in the sand throwing more fists at each other.

you stood in the same spot, unmoving, as more of jake’s friends showed up and pulled them apart before anything serious could happen besides some cut lips. jake pushed his friends off of him and stormed off towards a group of girls—the one girl in particular who was in his lap earlier. he pulled her towards up and smashed his lips onto her’s, all the while making direct eye contact with you.

you looked away, scoffing to yourself as you made your way to where jay stood brushing sand off himself. “i’m so sorry, are you okay?” you asked while aiding him in brushing off sand.

in lieu of a reply, jay hissed, “he’s such a fucking asshole. how did you even get caught up in his drama?” when jay turned to you, there wasn’t any anger in his eyes—at least, not towards you. it was a genuine question, and somehow that made you feel worse about everything.

you looked back over to where jake stormed off to to see that him and his friends—and the girl he kissed—were all walking over to the ocean to swim. they left abandoned articles of clothing in their wake as they started to chase each other into the water. you sighed mellowly, “i thought he was different, not who everyone said he was… it turns out i was wrong. he’s exactly like how everyone says he is.”

you couldn’t help the stray tear that escaped your eye, quickly moving your hand to wipe it away. you felt jay’s eyes on you as you stared down at your toes in the sand. he doesn’t get to win, you thought, opening your mouth to speak as you looked up at jay.

jay beat you to it. “let’s get a drink. take your mind off of it?” he offered. you closed your mouth and nodded, walking side by side with him towards the bar.

you were well past tipsy now as you and jay spent however long talking and getting to know each other. just as the two of you were in the middle of a conversation about your favorite aquatic animal, jake walked up to you. his head was down and he looked like a kicked puppy as he stood in front of you. he was only in his swim trunks and almost completely dry, so you were guessing it’s been a while since he’s been out of the water. “y/n…” he trailed, looking up at you through slightly wet strands of blonde hair.

“the fuck do you want, jake? here to call me a whore again? just leave me alone,” you waved a hand in the air at him, taking a sip from your drink. jake tried to take your hand in his but you snatched it out of his grip. you were guessing he was sober now.

“can we please just talk?” jake asked. his eyes skimmed over to jay who was glaring at him. “privately?” jake added. you laughed at him. is he serious?

“she told you to leave her alone, dude,” jay said, tone a little harsh.

jake rolled his eyes, they landed on jay with a glare, “shut the fuck up, jay. this has nothing to do with you.” jake turned his gaze back to you, gaze softening completely. he almost looked sorry. you almost laughed again.

“please, y/n. just five minutes and you’ll never have to see me again,” jake pleaded.

next to you, jay scoffed. “you promise?” jay cooed towards jake and jake’s glare immediately came back as his eyes snapped towards him. you sighed.

“five minutes, jake. that’s all i’m giving you to explain everything,” you spoke quietly. jay looked over at you. in his eyes you saw his question, “are you sure?” you gave him a slight nod and then stood. “don’t waste my time,” you added.

you wobbled slightly as you stood and jake took your hand. again, you pulled it out of his grasp. “i can walk by myself,” you bit out. jake’s eyebrows raised in slight shock but he said nothing as he guided you to somewhere private.

he led you a little bit away from where the party was, but close enough that you still heard the music blasting from the speakers. he pulled you behind an empty stand where wandering eyes couldn’t see you. you turned to him with a deep sigh and raised brows raised as you crossed your arms. “time is ticking,” is all you said.

“she meant nothing… i promise. it's you i want, y/n,” jake started, hands coming to rest on your shoulders. you rolled your eyes at him. meant nothing? so he thinks you’re stupid.

“doesn’t seem that way to me,” you countered. you turned to walk away. if he was just going to lie to you then there wasn’t any point of hearing him out. jake grabbed your hand and pulled you back towards him. he cupped your cheek and guided your gaze back up to his. “i’m serious. it is you that i want. my head was everywhere and the alcohol didn’t help and i’m sorry. i’m so sorry, y/n, i didn’t want to hurt you.”

in your head you cursed him for being so alluring, and then cursed yourself for drinking so much because now you were melting like puddy in his hands. you didn’t want to believe him, you really didn’t, but the more you searched his eyes, the more you saw the truth in them. jake wanted you, that much was the truth. but was he truly sorry… that was to be determined.

the anger in your eyes softened and your eyes glazed over, “why would you do that, jake? you don’t talk to me for days and then i come here and see you all up on some girl? after spending so much time with me and acting like we’re a couple?” you swear you saw jake’s heart break as he pulled you into his chest.

“i know, baby, i know i messed up and i’m sorry. let me make it up to you and show you that you’re the only one who matters to me,” jake said softly and you pulled away to look at him. he pressed his lips to yours, his hand cupping your face gently. you shivered slightly at his touch and the petname falling from his lips. a fire lit up inside you and you pressed your lips to his harder, wrapping your arms around his neck.

jake backed you up against the empty stand, lifting you so you sat onto the ledge that was lower than the actual stand. he pulled away from you slightly, enough for the both of you to catch your breath. “tell me now if you don’t want this and i’ll stop,” jake breathed.

you kissed him again, skin hot in all the places he touched you. “i want this,” you briefly broke apart to say. jake dropped to his knees between your legs. you shifted slightly as he pressed kisses onto your bare inner thighs, lifting your legs so they rested over his shoulders.

“uh—jake…” you stammered, eyes fluttering closed for a quick second. jake hummed, looking up at you with a raised brow. “i-i’m a virgin… i’ve never done any of this before…”

jake’s lips curled into a wicked smirk. he rose, thumbs trailing your thighs and kissed you. “that’s okay,” he said as he got to his knees again, “i’ll take good care of you, baby.”

you gave him a sheepish smile as you lifted your bathing suit cover to pool around your hips. you then lifted your hips so jake could take your bottoms off and scooted to the edge of the ledge you were sitting on.

once your bottoms were off, you shivered slightly from the sudden coldness. more from the way jake was now pressing kisses close to your core. it was embarrassing how you were absolutely dripping for him despite being angry at him not too long ago, but either jake didn’t notice or didn’t seem to care much. he returned your legs back to his shoulders.

jake’s mouth latched onto your clit and his tongue swirled around it. you jumped, a moan escaping your lips as your back arched slightly. his tongue continued to swirl around your clit and his lips sucked in, making your back arch more. your fingers ran through his blonde hair, grabbing at it to try and steady yourself. jake looked up at you and you could feel the smirk on his lips.

your breath was heavy and you shamelessly moaned from how good jake was making you feel. if there was one good thing that came out of all of this, it was finding out just how good jake was with his tongue. you were so high on cloud nine that you moaned a little too loud once you felt jake slowly enter a finger into you, testing the waters, pulling in and out slowly. he then slowly slid in another finger, the stretch making your head whirl.

jake laughed, the vibrations sending shockwaves throughout your body. you gasped when his fingers angled up, pressing right against your sweet spot, and bucked your hips forward. “feels so good,” you whimpered. “p-please don’t stop!”

you legs began to shake and the pleasure was so much that you couldn’t help but rock your hips towards jake’s mouth and fingers. jake started to to hum against your clit lightly, fingers moving faster. you gripped his hair and the edge of the ledge tigher, “just how many girls have you treated like this?” you breathed out between moans. your eyes were squeezed shut and you felt how close you were to being undone. “is this what you do to get back on their good side?” you asked.

jake pulled his mouth away from you and your eyes fluttered open to look down at him from the loss. his fingers continued to move rapidly. “you wouldn’t be the only girl,” jake commented. you didn’t even get a chance to respond as he pressed his fingers against your walls and you came undone onto his fingers. you squeezed your eyes shut and cried out, chest rising and falling harshly.

when you came down from your high, with the aid of jake and now suddenly sober, you opened your eyes just as he pulled his fingers out of you and to his mouth while rising to his feet. you glared at him harshly as he licked his fingers clean, mouth and chin wet with your arousal and blonde hair messy. looking behind you, you reached for some napkins and cleaned yourself up before putting your bathing suit bottoms back up.

you threw the rest of the napkins at his face and pushed him away from you as you jumped off the ledge. “you’re such an asshole,” you muttered angrily as you stormed back off in the direction of the party. from behind you, you could hear jake calling your name as he jogged after you.

“fuck off, jake!” you yelled, not bothering to turn around as you moved faster.

when you got back to the party, you went up to the campfire where jay was still sitting, a bottle in his hands. “thanks for talking to me tonight, but i’m gonna head home actually,” you told him, trying to give him your best fake smile but it instead coming out in a half grimace. you heard your name being called and jay stood.

“i’ll walk you home,” jay said as he placed his bottle in the sand against the log. you nodded and the two of you quickly walked off.

the walk back to your house was silent. you mainly processed the series of events that just happened. how could you be so stupid? once again, you fell into jake’s trap. when will you learn?

you didn’t even realize you made it to the front of your aunt’s house, too lost in your own thoughts to notice your feet moving on their own, until jay said, “are you going to be okay?” you looked over to him in slight shock, thinking about his question for a moment.

shrugging, you responded, “i’m not sure yet. for now i will be, i guess. thanks for walking me home, jay. i really appreciate it.” jay gave you a nod, not entirely convinced. “anytime,” he spoke and watched as you walked up to the front door and entered the house.

you ran to the bathroom, wanting to rub your skin clean until it was raw. you stayed under the water for a while until it started to run cold and stayed for a little more after that, tears being washed away from the stream. when you did finally get out, you laid in your bed unable to sleep.

you phone was being blown up by jake and you just didn’t have the energy for him right now, so you turned your phone off. you didn’t want to hear anymore of his excuses—or truths, you still couldn’t decipher which was which. you just hoped that sleep would come to you soon and you wouldn’t dream of him.

when you woke up in the morning from a dreamless sleep, the first text your eyes saw as you checked the time on your phone was from jake. you sighed softly, telling yourself you’ll check the rest of his messages later. the message your eyes scanned was:

jake: meet me at our spot? i didn’t mean what i said. it wasn’t my intention for it to come off that way. please answer, y/n. i know you wake up around this time, so please meet me there when you see this.

you weighed his message in your head, deciding to ignore it entirely or to meet with him. after pacing around your room, you decided to meet with him. this was it—you were putting an end to everything. no more games. you were only going to meet with jake for closure, to finally see if his words have been truths or lies.

you got ready for the day, thankful that you didn’t have to work at the juice bar, and mentally hyped yourself up. you couldn’t let yourself be lured in by jake’s trap again; acting like a pushover for him. you wanted answers, not to lose yourself in his warm and inviting brown eyes. not to think about how good he made you feel last night—despite the memories clouding around your racing mind making your heart do flips.

leaving the house, you made your way down to the beach with newfound confidence.

when you reached the open cave-like entrance, you saw jake sitting in the sand lost in thought waiting for you. his eyes immediately snapped to your figure when he saw you approach. jake looked like he hadn’t slept, eyes rimmed red and dark circles sinking in his eyes. his blonde hair was in every direction as if he’d been running his fingers through it constantly and his plain shirt was wrinkled.

jake slid his phone that he was clutching into his pants pocket as he stood to his feet. hesitantly, you walked up to him, stopping a few feet short of him. you left your expression purposefully blank as you quirked a brow at him.

“i didn’t mean it like that,” jake started, taking a few steps towards you. he furrowed his brows and tilted his head to the side slightly.

“so how else did you mean it, jake? i’m tired of playing this game with you.”

jake sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. “i mean—i did mean it like that,” he closed the distance between the two of you and grabbed your hands, effectively removing them from where they were sitting across your chest. jake slid his thumbs across them as he spoke.

“but not with you. i won’t lie and say that i don’t have a reputation—“

you cut him off, tone harsh as you pushed away from him. “a reputation of being a player? of stringing girls along; using their feelings for you against them to get in their pants? your reputation precedes you, jake, and i’m not going to be your next victim.”

“and you won’t be—that life, me being a player, it’s over. it’s in the past—canceled, i promise you. i meant what i said to you yesterday, baby. i want to be with you and i’m sorry for making you think that i didn’t.” jake stepped forward and cupped your face, tilting your head so you looked in his eyes and saw the sincerity in them. you exhaled softly and your eyes fluttered shut.

jake continued, “as soon as i got into that water, i immediately sobered up and knew i fucked up. i shouldn’t have spoken to you like that—shouldn’t have let my friends speak to you like that. that was really shitty. i’m so sorry.” you opened your eyes and they grazed across the cut on his lip from his fight with jay.

your arms hung limply at your sides as your mind struggled to come up with any thought whatsoever. it was silent for a moment. “you ignored me for a whole week straight. pretended that i didn’t even exist to you,” was all you managed to say.

jake sighed again and shut his eyes briefly like he was having an inner battle with himself. “my head has been everywhere this week, baby. i’m sorry. lifeguarding has been more taxing than usual and i’m really not in my right mind. the alcohol last night really didn’t help either, like i said.”

your eyes softened. it was just as you expected. “so why didn’t you tell me all of this? i could’ve helped you—been there for you!” your words were light, but your insistence made jake look up.

jake just shrugged, not knowing what to say. he settled on, “i didn’t know how to explain it all. i’m not that good at telling people how i feel—clearly.”

you rested a hand on his cheek, a small smile coming to your lips. “it’s something we can work on… why don’t we do something from our bucket list today? help get your mind off lifeguarding?” you suggested. jake’s face lit up and he wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you into him.

a cheeky smile played on jake’s mouth as he nodded and you rolled your eyes, pushing at his chest lightly. you pointed to the shallow water coming in from the ocean, “if you say skinny dipping i’m drowning you in the water over there!”

jake’s smile widened, a pretty laugh leaving his lips. it was a sound you could hear forever. “i wasn’t! i was gonna suggest we go stargazing.”

he pulled you closer to him and bent down towards you, breath fanning across your neck and his nose sending a shiver down your spine from the way it trailed along the skin near your ear. “but if you wanted to skinny dip i wouldn’t be opposed,” he whispered, voice dripping like honey.

you inhaled sharply at the way jake brushed his lips against your jaw ever so slightly. you didn’t even notice the way your grip tightened around his shirt at his chest. all you could think about was his lips at your core making you feel so good. better than you could ever do for yourself. the way his fingers reached deep inside you and pressed against spots that you couldn’t reach yourself no matter how hard you tried.

breath hitching, you tried to control your breathing as you let out a chuckle that you hoped sounded playfully annoyed, but instead came out as nervous as you felt. with all the strength you could muster, which was barely any at all, you pushed at his chest again and jake took a couple small steps back. that same wicked smirk from last night curled his lips upwards.

god, that smirk. if given the chance, you knew that jake sim would absolutely ruin you. you knew that he would worship every inch of your skin while completely defiling your innocence.

you subtly pressed your legs together at the thought of his hands wandering over your naked body and bit your lip at how it would feel when he finally slid into you. no, you couldn’t think such dirty things with him looking at you like he knew every thought running through your head right now.

you kept your eyes firmly on the grains of sand beneath the two of you until you were sure your thoughts were clear.

once the dignity started to come back to you, you slowly looked up at him. you plastered a playful smile on and raised your brows while crossing your arms across your chest. “you’re on timeout. so going skinny dipping—and whatever dirty little thoughts are running though your head with the idea—not happening. got it?”

you were definitely projecting with your statement, even if you both were most likely thinking the same things. jake’s wicked smirk remained on his lips, this time more playful than wicked. he raised a singular brow at you, head tilting subtly. he didn’t even need to speak for you to get the connotation.

we’ll see about that, won’t we?

you and jake spent the rest of the morning together, hanging around the beach taking various photos with your disposable camera, until you got called in to work to cover a shift. you had just finished cleaning the blenders at the juice stand when jake scared you, suddenly announcing his arrival while leaning across the counter with a shit-eating grin.

gasping loudly with a hand pressed to your heart, you took the hand towel you were holding and smacked him with it, making him laugh. you couldn’t help the smile that spread on your face at jake being here. your shift so far was boring, your friend hana wasn’t working today and nobody was really buying anything either. you desperately needed the distraction.

“what are you doing here?” you smiled, leaning across the counter in front of jake. your faces were mere inches away and jake closed the gap by pressing a kiss to your lips.

“i wanted to see you,” he replied, smile never leaving his face. that was, until jay showed up to order a drink.

“how are you, jay?” you asked as you started the process of his drink, turning slightly to look at him. he was soaking wet, no doubt just getting off one of his shifts. running a hand through his damp hair he breathed out harshly, smile not reaching his eyes as he shook his head a little.

“you know how lifeguarding is…” he trailed off. you gave him a sympathetic smile, definitely not knowing how lifeguarding is, but from your talk with jake earlier, you could only imagine.

jake shifted in his seat, turning to face jay. “yeah… i do,” he spoke. you glanced over to him as you poured jay’s drink in one of the to-go cups. jake’s mouth was pressed into a thin line and his eyes sharp. they were both deadly silent and you had the feeling they weren’t talking about lifeguarding.

slowly, you slid the drink you just made towards jay as your eyes flicked between the two of them. their staring contest was cut short by one of jake’s friend’s calling his name. reluctantly, he got up to meet them, eyes flicking to you before turning around. what was that all about?

jay’s eyes slid to you, a sigh escaping his lips. “i hope you know what you’re doing, y/n,” he said before handing you the money for his drink and standing from his seat. your brows furrowed in question but before you could ask what he meant, jay spoke again.

“there’s no winner in the player’s game. it’s best to know that before it’s too late.”

jay then left, leaving you with your mouth hanging open. your mind was surprisingly blank despite his words that you were desperately trying to process. to distract yourself, you began tidying up.

jake came back up to the stand just as you finished, his friend—sunghoon, if you remember correctly from his hurtful words at the beach party—following suit. your eyebrows were raised in slight shock as you tried to keep the scowl from off your face. jake said nothing, just waved his hand towards you while looking at sunghoon in a “well…” kind of way.

sunghoon sighed while leaning on the stand towards you. “uh… listen, y/n…” he looked towards jake in question and jake gave him a small nod without taking his eyes off you. sunghoon continued, “i was a real asshole for what i said at the beach party—real shitty. i’m sorry, i shouldn’t have spoken to you that way.”

he scratched the back of his neck and his apology hung in the air for a moment. you smiled awkwardly, eyes flicking between him and jake. clearing your throat slightly, you responded, “t-thank you? i appreciate the apology.”

it was awkward for another few moments before jake finally broke the silence. “so…” he started, dragging out the vowel as he leaned more over the counter towards you. “will you be my date to the summer splash event?”

sunghoon scoffed while turning towards jake, hitting him on the shoulder. “dude, you haven’t even asked her yet? the event is next month!” he exclaimed. a sheepish smile took over jake’s face as he leaned back into his chair. you raised your brows at him.

“yeah, jake, why haven’t you asked me yet?” you teased. sunghoon mirrored your expression and the two of you stared a hole into jake. he sunk into his seat.

“i may… have forgotten about the whole thing…” jake murmured. you and sunghoon laughed at him, sunghoon shaking his head as he turned back to you.

“yes, i’ll be your date to summer splash,” you laughed, causing jake’s smile to brighten.

the three of you talked more before they left for sunghoon’s house. before they did, jake leaned across the counter to meet where you already sat halfway. “are we okay?” he asked near your ear in a hushed tone. you nodded, a genuine smile on your face which caused one to appear on his. jake then brought you in for a kiss, which was quickly cut short by sunghoon going, “ugh, get a room!”

heat spread throughout your face and chuckles escaped jake’s mouth as he pressed another kiss to your warm cheeks. he was then pulling out his disposable camera, turning his back to you and holding it up in the air.

“group picture!” jake shouted as he pulled sunghoon towards him. sunghoon rolled his eyes, but smiled for the picture nonetheless. you gave the camera an embarrassed smile as the flash went off. jake chuckled again, bringing your lips together briefly before running off with a disgusted sunghoon.

you: meet me at our spot? jake: already here, baby. you don’t even have to ask! you: rolling my eyes right now… bring the blankets!

a couple days later, you and jake had planned to watch the stars at your shared spot since you were both too busy the day you originally planned. according to jake, it was the best spot to see as many stars as possible in the small town. jake had beaten to you the spot, already having the blankets and even pillows set up right under the opening in the ceiling.

the moon shown perfectly from the opening, illuminating jake and the area he had set up. “hi,” you smiled, setting the basket of wrapped sandwiches onto the blanket and plopping down next to jake. you looked up towards the ceiling at the stars, a soft smile taking over your features.

“hi,” jake replied. he moved closer to you until you were almost cheek and cheek to look up at the stars as well. “i told you it’s the best place to see them,” he added quietly. you looked over to him, smile still on your face, and giggled. jake’s smile widened and he brought you in for a kiss.

the two of you watched the stars for a while in silence, apart from the rustling of one of you unwrapping a sandwich. at some point, the two of you had laid down onto the blankets and pillows, you tucked into jake’s side, head resting on his chest as his fingers lazily traced patterns onto your arm and hip.

“the whole world outside disappears when it’s just the two of us in here,” jake softly said, causing you to look up at him. his eyes were focused on the stars until he felt the weight of your stare. he looked down, a shy smile playing on his lips.

“you’re right,” you smiled at him, continuing your watch of the stars. “we’re the only people in the world in here.” jake’s fingertips were suddenly lifting your chin to look up at him. once you did, he pressed a soft kiss to your lips.

smiling against his lips, you kissed him again, sitting up on your elbow to kiss him better. the kiss deepened, so much so that you got the urge to swing your leg across his to straddle him. but before it could go any farther than a kiss, jake pulled away. you both were breathing heavily as you stared into each other’s eyes, lips barely brushing.

“will you be my girlfriend?” jake breathed, searching your eyes for your answer. you giggled a little. it was funny that he even had to ask you. the answer was always going to be yes.

you nodded, smiling widely, “i thought you’d never ask…” you lips connected with his again, this time more passionate than the first. jake sat up onto his elbows, eyes fluttering closed.

“i’m sorry i took so long,” he murmured against your lips.

this time you did give into your urge. throwing your leg over both of his, you wrapped your arms around his neck. jake’s arms immediately came to sit around your waist, pulling you closer to him until you were chest and chest. the kiss was feverish, desperate. it’s what you wanted to do ever since you had gotten to know each other.

fire burned in the pit of your belly and you were overwhelmed with the sudden need to have jake as close to your body as possible. you needed more than his lips on yours and his arms around your waist. you didn’t even realize you grinded down onto him until he broke away from your kiss to let out a small whimper, forehead pressed to yours.

he trailed hot kisses along your jaw and down your neck all while you grinded down against him again. you felt like you were on fire as his lips found yours again and it was the only thing you could do but pull away and take off your shirt.

jake’s eyes landed on your breasts and the lacy bra covering them, but you didn’t let them linger before you were pulling off his shirt as well, completely driven by desire. next you were shimmying off of him until the shorts you were wearing were off too, leaving you only in your bra and panties.

the rational part of your brain finally kicked in when you heard jake unbuckling his belt. you broke away from his kiss, suddenly aware of what the two of you were about to do. heat spread up your neck and across your cheeks and you whispered, “i told you, you’re on timeout.”

jake’s mouth fell open in a shocked smile, hands freezing in place. in order to cool yourself down, you pulled yourself away from him and stood to your feet. turning your back towards him, you made your way to the ocean, stripping off your bra and panties in the process until you were completely naked. you glanced back at him with a playful smile.

you stepped a foot into the water and immediately shuttered at how cold it was, but you made yourself walk the rest of the distance until you were submerged up to your shoulders. you turned towards the cove where jake still sat frozen. “are you coming?” you called, giggling to yourself at the bulge in his shorts.

“you’re such a tease,” jake called back playfully, standing to his feet. you laughed, more teeth chattering than actual laughter. when jake started pulling down his shorts, you averted your gaze, suddenly interested in the ocean horizon.

you heard the pitter-patter of jake’s footsteps and the slight splashing of water behind you as he came closer. “you put on such a show, but now you can’t even face me?” jake said in a husky voice against your ear, chest pressed against your back, causing a shiver to go directly down your spine and your heartbeat to pick up.

jake trailed a wet finger across your shoulder and you inhaled sharply, trying to gain your composure. turning to him, you replied, “if you can’t handle the heat, stay out of the game.” you threw his signature smirk back at him and he laughed, coming closer to you until your noses were brushing up against each other. you tried to ignore the brushing against your thigh, but it was growing harder the more seconds that passed. instead you cupped your hand in the water and lifted it to drip the water onto jake’s head, pulling another laugh out of him.

grabbing your chin, jake lifted your head to kiss you deeply, his tongue dancing in your mouth with yours. pulling away, jake smirked. “you’re going to eat your words once i’m finished,” he said lowly, pressing kisses to the skin beneath your ear.

jake pressed you closer to him, his body heat helping to warm you from the cold water. his lips trailed back up to your ear and he added, “get use to the feeling of your body shaking.”

if your body wasn’t on fire before, it definitely was now. jake’s lips were back on yours, this time rougher. you were sure he could feel your heartbeat racing from how close you were to him, feel the heat creep up your neck with how your bare bodies were against each other. when you pulled away to satiate your burning lungs, jake caught hold of your bottom lip between his teeth. he bit down softly, the corners of his mouth raising at your reaction before letting go.

you hid your face in his chest as he trailed open-mouthed kisses up your shoulder. you resisted the urge to shiver. “jake, i—“ you cut yourself off, too embarrassed to bring the topic up.

“has anyone ever touched you like this?”

jake’s fingers trailed down your sides, stopping just at your hips and you took a sharp inhale. you shook your head as jake continued his kisses, going from up your shoulder to the side of your mouth. “don’t worry, pretty,” he whispered huskily, lips lingering over yours before giving you a feather light kiss. “i’ll be gentle… i promise.”

he intertwined his hand with yours and guided you back to the rock structure where your abandoned late night picnic resided. you laid down onto the blanket, looking up at him with big doe eyes from where your head laid on a pillow. his eyes took in your body finally, eyes widening more at every exposed inch he could see. when they landed on your soaked pussy he smirked subtly.

jake climbed over you, pressing a deep kiss to your lips. “are you sure you want this?” he asked you breathlessly. his eyes were squeezed shut and his brows were furrowed, like he was fighting the urge to not ravage you right then and there.

“yes… please. i’m ready,” you whispered.

eyes fluttering open, jake brought his lips to yours again. he then started to kiss down your body, making sure he kept eye contact with you. when you looked away, his gaze too intense, he would immediately stop and grab your chin to look back at him. “you don’t have to be nervous, baby. it’s just me.”

how could you not be nervous? the last time he was this close to your body was when he was eating you out at that beach party. and you were nervous then, too; never having someone attached to your core before. even then, you only remembered bits and pieces from the encounter—jake’s pretty mouth on your clit and the hazy sensation of his fingers inside you, stretching you out—you being too drunk to remember the full thing. this time you were completely, absolutely, sober with none of the confidence the alcohol gave you.

jake kissed right above your core, stopping with a smile against your skin. you thought he was going to speak, but he instead dove straight in, tongue flicking against your clit as his lips sucked.

you immediately moaned out, back arching off the soft fabric beneath you and head throwing back. you gripped the blanket tightly in your hands as jake wrapped his arms around your thighs to keep you from moving. he continued his motions, eyes never leaving you. your hand found his wet blonde hair, fingers tangling in the strands as you pulled at them. “please, jake!”

he hummed and you swear you saw stars, moaning loudly and trying to squirm away from his strong grip. “does that feel good?” jake asked you, breath fanning over your throbbing clit. all you could do was nod. “yeah?” jake asked, removing one of his hands from around your thighs.

his other hand rubbed at your clit with the pad of his thumb, sending jolts up your body, as the hand he freed teased at your entrance. you were a spluttering mess, desperate pleas for him to do something other than rub at your clit breaking the silence and clouding your thoughts. you barely even heard the chuckles that escaped jake’s lips as he kept teasing. he waited until you were practically writhing underneath his touch and begging him for more before he finally slid his fingers inside you achingly slow. you barely registered the slight pain, only the pleasure.

“you’re so pretty like this,” jake cooed.

you gasped as his fingers started to move, dragging against your gummy walls. the wetness making you dizzy and bringing tears to your eyes. jake’s pace only grew the more his fingers fucked into you, fingers curling and making your thighs tremble.

just as you moaned out a broken “g-gonna cum!” jake replaced his thumb running circles into your clit with his mouth, his tongue swirling around your poor clit. his hand went to hold your legs open when you tried to squeeze them together, the rope in your stomach about to snap.

when it did finally snap, you were gripping the blankets so hard that the clenching of your fingers started to hurt. you cried out, weakly trying to push jake’s head away with your other hand but getting nowhere. he didn’t stop, lips sucking your clit as squelching sounds emitting from your spent pussy with how your cum now dripped down his fingers still pushing in and out of your entrance.

the vibrations of jake’s laugh was like lighting throughout your body, shocking you to the core. you whimpered and jake finally pulled his lips away, satisfied with helping you ride out your high. he sat up on his knees and you looked up at him through half-closed eyes, brain foggy.

“you ready for more? baby?” jake asked before sticking his cum coated fingers in his mouth while staring down at you. he let out another hum, eyes fluttering closed briefly, “you taste so fucking good.”

you covered your face and sheepish smile with your hands and jake chuckled, leaning down to press a quick kiss on your lips once he was finished licking you up from his fingers. you could taste yourself on him. “are you ready?” jake asked and you nodded.

“words, pretty. i wanna hear you,” jake added, moving your hands away from your face. your body was on fire still, still reeling from your recent orgasm. jake pressed kisses to your cheeks.

“i’m ready,” you uttered meekly.

jake leaned back and now it was your turn for your eyes to trail along his body, not quite getting the chance when his head was between your thighs making you see other galaxies. his blonde hair fell in his eyes, which he dragged his fingers through to get out of his way. toned body still glistening from your dip naked in the ocean, making you want to run your fingers along the soft skin. and finally… his large hard cock hovering mere centimeters above your still throbbing pussy, precum leaking from his tip.

you didn’t know how you would fit all of him inside you, it barely looked like you could wrap your hand around him. but you were determined and you refused to back down. if you were going to have your first time with anybody, it would be jake sim.

“lift your hips for me, pretty.” your eyes snapped back to jake’s face to see he had dragged a pillow next to the both of you. you did as you were told, knees wobbling slightly, and jake slid the pillow under your hips. he pressed another kiss to your lower stomach.

jake held his leaking cock, looking up at you for confirmation one last time and you nodded. “this is gonna hurt for a second, okay? just take a deep breath.”

you inhaled deeply, waiting in anticipation and slight fear.

he lined the tip of his cock with your entrance, sliding it along your wet arousal and creamy white cum. slowly he began to push himself in and immediately you felt the stretch. you grimaced, resting your head back on the pillows. even with how wet you were with jake fingering you, and your previous release, jake was barely able to get his tip inside before you winced in pain.

“relax, baby, relax,” jake soothed as he kissed the inner part of your thigh. you tried to will your body to loosen up, taking deep breaths to calm yourself. jake rubbed his thumb slowly into your clit, glancing down at you with a look full of concern. you were no doubt squeezing the hell out of him, if it weren’t obvious from the small whimpers leaving his mouth as he slowly pushed in more.

after basically doing breathing exercises and jake giving you soothing kisses, he finally bottomed out, halting his movements so you can adjust to his length and thickness. you moved your arms from where they covered your tear-filled eyes and jake leaned down to kiss your cheek. “you’re doing so well for me, pretty. tell me when to move,” he said softly.

once you felt like you weren’t being split in half, you gave him the go-ahead. jake leaned back again. “do you feel it…” he started. his hand pressed down on your lower stomach and you gasped softly. “right here?” he continued.

you took your lip between your teeth and nodded, “yes… please start moving, jake.” you didn’t know how long you could stand the feel of him completely stretching you out and filling you up. it felt like you were going to burst any minute if he didn’t do something.

“you want it that bad? you’re not scared anymore?” jake grinned and you shook your head. “good, remember what i told you.” he slid his hands up your stomach to cup your breasts, thumbs rubbing over your hardened nipples before settling back down at your hips.

you struggled to remember what he was talking about, you mind going entirely blank. all you could think about was his cock inside you, his hands all over your body, and how you felt everything. was it “i’ll be gentle… i promise,” or “get use to the feeling of your body shaking”? your mind started to spin with how both sentences contradicted each other.

jake grunted as he slowly slid halfway out. “fuck…” he groaned, his grip tightening on your thighs. “you’re so fucking tight—squeezing the shit out of me, baby.” he pushed in a little too fast and you moaned out, half pleasure and half pain.

he continued his slow pace, making sure he didn’t go too fast so he wouldn’t hurt you. your body finally relaxed, eyes rolling back and sensitive walls fluttering around jake’s cock. “faster,” you breathed.

“faster?” jake repeated and you could just hear his smirk. “you want me to fuck you faster?” without a response, jake’s hips snapped to yours. he pulled his cock out until just his tip remained in you. jake hummed, waiting for your reply.

“yes!” you cried out, back arching from the way his cock rutted so deeply into you. your breathing was heavy and your tongue was heavy as you tried to form more words. “y-yes, please fuck me faster,” you whined, speech coming out slurred as your hands clawed at the messy blanket beneath you.

jake leaned down to bring his lips to yours just as he rutted into you once more. you moaned against his lips, the sound cutting off as he kissed you rougher. jake continued pounding into you, not hard enough to hurt you but enough to make sure you felt every inch of him inside you. he took your lip between his teeth as he pulled away slightly before letting go. “f-fuck you drive me crazy. do you know how long i’ve been waiting to do this to you? fuck your perfect pussy like this?”

you barely registered his words, your blown out pupils staring at him hazily as you moaned louder each time his hips connected with yours. jake continued, his words slurring, “and to think that asshole almost had you…” jake let out a wry laugh in between his heavy breaths, his hips moving faster on their own accord. “you’re mine. all mine. can that asshole fuck you senseless like this?”

you bucked your hips up, shaking your head rapidly. you really didn’t know who jake was talking about, but that didn’t matter to you. he was right, nobody can fuck you like he can.

jake kissed you sloppily through your moans, breath hot on your cheeks as he occasionally pulled back for air with the way his chest rose and fell heavily. “that’s it, baby... fucking take it,” he moaned when your back arched again and his cockhead hit deeper. “you’re taking my cock so well. do you like how i split you open like this? do you feel how deep i’m fucking into you, pretty?”

tears streamed down your faces as you moaned out incoherent words, too dumb on jake’s cock to think straight. all you could do was nod and tell him to move faster, clawing at his shoulders until your nails dragged red lines down his back. you never needed someone as much as you needed jake. it was like a fever, making you burn red-hot until every thought consisted of him

you whimpered loudly, trying to press your legs together and squirm away but jake held you in a death grip—making sure your legs stayed spread and your knees stayed pressed to your chest. your thighs shook in his grasp as you twisted from side to side, a squeal leaving your parted lips. “g-gonna cum!” you spoke shakily, whimpers falling from your mouth.

“good, baby. let go for me. cum all over my cock,” jake gritted out, accent heavy, before throwing his head back in a moan. he muttered out curses as his pace increased slightly and then kissed you roughly. he kissed along your jaw and now to your neck, right where you were the most sensitive and leaving goosebumps in his wake. jake sucked pretty markings onto your skin, claiming you further as his.

you wrapped your arms tightly around his neck, on the verge of hiccuping just as you felt the cord in your stomach begin to fray. with a particularly hard thrust, wet squelching sounds filling the nighttime air, the cord snapped and you were smearing warm cum all over jake’s cock.

the pillow beneath your hips prevented the cum from dripping out of you except when jake thrusted into you, dribbles of cum leaking out from around the base of his cock. jake leaned his forehead to yours, “f-fuck, baby. you’re taking my cock so well. you feel how well you’re pretty pussy is taking me? it’s l-like your pussy was made for my cock.”

you felt jake twitch inside you before he was filling you up with even more cum, the white liquid completely coating him as he fucked his cum back into you. your nails dug into his shoulders as you cried out from the overstimulation despite bucking your hips up to feel even more, unwrapping yourself from jake’s neck to grab a fistful of the blanket as you shook underneath him. “too m-much, jake! ah—“

jake kissed you hard, moaning softly against your lips. he pulled back and leaned back onto his knees, hand holding the base of his heavy cock that was still buried deep inside you. you managed to sit up on shaky elbows. your poor pussy was glistening with your arousal and painted white you and jake’s mixed cum.

you watched as jake slowly pulled out of you, creamy white liquid covering his softening cock, eyes fixed on how your pussy fluttered around the loss of him. the corners of his mouth pulled up into a wicked smile. you didn’t even notice how he had pulled out his disposable camera, nor the flashes of how fucked out your face looked and how completely ruined by him you were beneath the full moonlight. “good job, baby! i’m proud of how well you did,” jake leaned to kiss you, his cock sliding against your sensitive clit and making you jump. jake chuckled.

you beamed shyly, eyes avoiding his stare and instead focused on how his cum was still inside you. jake reached out his hands and you took them, slowly sitting up fully. his eyes focused on the way your mixed cum spilled down your thighs and dripped onto the blanket. “fuck,” jake murmured.

his eyes trailed up your body and to your swollen lips, his smile growing. you could see it in his eyes what he was thinking: you look the prettiest like this, defiled and my cum drilling out of you. jake kissed you again, softer than all of his previous kisses tonight.

“let’s get you cleaned up, pretty.”

“why are you walking so weirdly?” you mother’s voice startled you. you fiddled with the shear scarf you’re wearing. jake left a lot of love bites on you—most that you were able to cover with makeup but some that shone straight through it no matter how many layers of concealer you put on it. you didn’t really want your mom seeing that and asking a bunch of questions. it was also the height of summer and you could practically see the heatwaves in the air, so you didn’t really want to be sporting a turtleneck right now.

your voice comes out slightly unsteady, “what do you mean?”

your mom comes to stand in front of you, eying you up and down. her gaze flicks back to yours with an analytical look. “you’re walking like a duck. what’s wrong with you?” she questions.

racking your brain for a suitable and believable lie, you rush out, “oh, i just hurt my ankle a little bit on the walk to work yesterday...” her gaze widens. “but don’t worry, mom! it’s nothing serious. i’ve just been trying to not put as much pressure on it is all!” you quickly add.

you definitely weren’t telling her that you lost your virginity last night to the renown player in this small town and you walking funny was the result. no, that would be much too embarrassing. you straightened your walk a little, trying to make it seem like you were okay. you were glad your back was turned to her so it hid your wince of pain. maybe you shouldn’t have told jake to go so fast on your first time…

“we’ll make sure you ice it or something, you don’t need it getting worse,” your mother said before leaving the kitchen, mug in hand. you sighed in relief to yourself as you finished getting ready for work.

jake met you halfway on your journey and you smacked his arm hard whenever he came up next to you. “ow!” he laughed, cradling his arm. “what was that for?”

“that was for making me walk funny and leaving all kinds of love bites all over my skin that i had to try and hide!” you exclaimed, pointing at your neck with a pout. jake laughed, wrapping his arm around your waist and pulling you closer.

you pouted again, “you said you’d be gentle!”

jake pulled down the scarf you were wearing with his free hand. he pressed kisses to your neck, right where the marks were, causing you to squirm away from him from the sensitivity. “i’m sorry, baby,” he murmured against your skin. “but you did tell me to go faster.”

you rolled your eyes at him and he laughed more. jake leaned down, his lips brushing up against the shell of your ear. “and i did say to get use to the feeling of your body shaking,” he added huskily, accent thick.

“besides, you should see the red lines and crescent marks you left all over my back. i’m a lifeguard, i can’t just put makeup and a scarf over it!” jake mumbled. you laughed at him.

the tank top he was wearing told you he clearly didn’t care if others saw the marks you left. it’s almost as if he wanted to show them off. the two of you continued your walk.

[ YOU HAVE TO SAY “GOODBYE” — 3RD MONTH ] ✈︎ thirty-one days until you return home.

you sighed deeply as you stretched out your tired joints after a particularly long shift. the sun was blaring on your skin all day and despite the thin clothing of your work uniform, it did nothing to save you from the heat. you desperately just wanted to meet up with jake so the two of you could go swimming before the afternoon sun went down.

in the distance down the boardwalk you caught sight of jake. a smile spread it’s way across your face as you excitedly called out to him. jake didn’t seem to hear you, instead turning the corner to where the water fountains were located. you quickened your step as you tried to catch up with him.

you were just about to call his name again as you turned the corner before you froze in your spot. the smile completely dropped from your face and you tucked yourself against the corner of the wall as your eyes widened at the scene in front of you.

jake and hana stood just a few feet from you. hana was pressed against him, arms lifting to wrap around his neck while one of his lingered around her waist, just barely hovering over the bare skin of her torso.

“oh? but you kissed me, so you obviously still have feelings for me!” you heard hana exclaim.

you moved to lean against the wall away from them, pressing your back to the cool bricks. you felt like your world was coming down around you, once again. how stupid—how foolish of you to believe jake. your chest rose heavily as you tried to catch your breath. and what did hana mean by “still”? was she one of his exes this whole time?

suddenly everything started to fall in place. hana’s constant encouragement of you ending things with jake under the guise of being a “good friend”. jake never coming to see you at work when hana was working the same shift as you. your eyes widened as you finally understood why jake was acting weirdly towards you the week leading up to the beach party.

it was hana he saved from drowning. the very same hana you told him was your good friend. you felt so stupid. you tried hard to keep the tears from brimming in your eyes.

you took a deep breath as you pushed yourself off the wall and another as you steadied yourself to go up to them. “—to mouth, …psycho!” you heard jake say distantly, but the drumming in your ears overtook his words.

you stormed up to them and as soon as jake saw you he jumped five feet away from where he and hana were pressed up against each other. a nervous smile quickly appeared on his face and his mouth opened to speak before he got a good look at the state you were in. the smile fell from his face. “y/n, listen to me… it’s not—“

“you know what, i should’ve listened when people kept telling me you were a fucking player,” you swiftly cut him off, venom dripping from your voice with so much ferocity that it shocked even you. “you never cared about me, did you?”

jake opened his mouth again, eyebrows knitting together, but you didn’t let him speak. “is our spot even our spot, or is that where you take all the girls you want to sleep with? make them feel special and like they’re the only girl in the world for a night before tossing them to the side?”

“nobody knows about that place but you. you’re the only one who knows about it, i swear, y/n. and i’m not playing you or tossing you aside. please, let me expl—“ jake started.

“some people are just made for each other and some people aren’t! and clearly… you and jake aren’t meant for each other,” hana butted in, swinging her attention towards you with a smug smirk. it was like she was a completely different person now that the mask was taken off. she put a hand on your shoulder, “i’m your friend, take it from me!”

you harshly shrugged her off, causing her to scoff loudly. you glared at her fiercely. “shut the fuck up, hana!” you and jake spit out at the same time.

you refused to let the hurt creep into your voice, refused to let the two of them win against you. “i thought you were my friend, hana? how could you? the whole time you were only in my ear to try and give yourself the advantage. you’re both pieces of shit,” you said while staring daggers at her. you attention turned to jake.

it was almost impossible to not let the hurt show through. you had really tried, but looking into jake’s eyes was the last nail in the coffin. his eyes were glossed over and he went to reach for you but you backed away. “all you wanted from me was to get your dick wet. you’re such a fucking asshole, i never should’ve let myself get close to you. never should’ve found that stupid spot and never should’ve met you. all it caused was trouble,” you finally spoke, voice quiet as the tears slipped from your eyes.

you turned to leave but jake grabbed your wrist, you refused to turn and back and look at him. if you did, you knew you wouldn’t be able to stand your ground because despite everything, you still wanted to be with him.

“y/n… please,” jake breathed, his voice breaking.

you roughly yanked your wrist from his grasp and more tears fell from your eyes. “you don’t have to worry about me getting in the way of your game anymore. i’ll be gone by the end of the month and we’ll never see each other again. we’re done, jake.”

you inhaled sharply, pushing down a sob as you quickly walked away from the two of them. behind you, jake kept calling your name, but it only pushed you to go faster until you were running. tears blocked your eyes as you let your feet guide you home.

your body collided with a hard chest and you looked up, sniffling and wiping your tears. “what happened?” jay asked as he steadied you.

all you wanted was to be in the comfort of your bed right now. you couldn’t help the broken sob that left your mouth. “you were right… there aren't any winners in the player’s game. i get that now. thanks for telling me, jay,” you pushed out quickly before hurriedly making your way home.

you pushed through the front door and immediately ran over to where your mother stood half in shock. she wrapped her arms around you, her hand rubbing comforting circles in your back. “oh honey, what is it?” she asked softly between your wracked cries.

you just wished this day never happened.

two weeks have passed since you’ve last seen jake. two weeks have passed since you last saw anybody, really. you’ve mainly stuck to the confines of your mother’s childhood bedroom crying until you no longer had any tears to cry. you laid curled up in your bed, completely numb.

your family, especially your worried mother, tried checking up on you to see what happened but you just kept saying the same thing over and over again, “i’m fine.” or at the very least, you will be once you’re back in your hometown and far away from this one. there was only a little over two more weeks left and then you’ll be rid of all this drama for good.

a little over two more weeks and you’ll never have to see or even think about jake sim ever again.

half of you is finally ready to go home. it was funny how you thought this place would give you a pseudo fresh start. the other half of you… it wants some type of closure.

for the two weeks you’ve been tied to this bed you’ve debated on if you wanted to give jake one last and final goodbye. not for him, but for you. to close this chapter of your life once and for all. you sighed as you heard your phone buzz again.

jake: i know you said you needed space, but please let me explain everything. jake: i promise you nothing happened between me and hana. jake: or any other girl besides you for that matter. jake: please talk to me, y/n.

he’s been texting and occasionally calling you since you left him and hana to their own devices two weeks ago. you haven’t answered a single call or message from him. at first, you read every message that came through and listened to every voicemail, but listening to his voice, accent filled with sadness and guilt, made you feel worse.

you ignored the buzzing as a knock sounded on your door. you didn’t have the energy to move from the blank, white wall you were staring at, nevermind talk, so the knocker entered without a word. the bed dipped beside you and a hand was placed on your shoulder.

“honey, there’s lunch downstairs if you’re hungry,” you mother spoke, softly. you said nothing. you heard her defeated sigh as she stood to her feet.

“mom?” you asked, voice barely above a whisper, as you turned to her. you caught a glimpse in the mirror of your red-rimmed puffy eyes. you looked like you went through the ringer. your mom froze briefly before turning back to you with a hopeful smile. “can we catch an early flight back home?” you continued.

your mother’s smile faltered slightly, but she nodded sadly. just then, another knock was heard. this time you recognized it as the front door. your mom gave you one last sad smile before leaving the room and shutting the door behind her. you went back to staring at the same blank, white wall. a moment later your mother came back.

“it’s for you.”

you sighed softly and pulled yourself up from the bed. you felt like a zombie with your red eyes and dark circles and pajamas that hung limply off your body as you made the trek to the front door. with another sigh, you opened it, breath catching in your throat.

jake stood on the other side, blonde hair looking like he hasn’t brushed it a day in his life and the same red eyes and dark circles as you. he had dark brown roots sprouting from his scalp, despite him always making sure to keep them touched up. he looked rough, but you suppose you didn’t look any better.

“y/n…” jake breathed, like he couldn’t actually believe he’d ever see you standing in front of him again.

in the corner of your vision you saw your mom exit down the hallway to her room, giving the two of you some privacy. you didn’t hear anyone else in the house, so your aunt and cousin must’ve been out. you resisted the urge to slam the door shut in jake’s face. “i don’t want to see you,” you spoke sternly, a bite in your tone.

“i won’t be able to live with myself if you leave believing in a lie. please hear what i have to say,” jake pleaded.

you squeezed your eyes shut as you fought back tears. seeing him was too much. everything, every emotion came slamming against you like a tsunami and you wobbled on your feet. you inhaled a shaky breath and opened your eyes as tears fell from them. “i. don’t. care. i don’t care what you have to say, i don’t want to hear it!” you shuddered, voice progressively getting louder as more and more tears fell from your eyes and his.

you shut your eyes again and focused on steadying your breathing. a hand came to rest on your upper-back. “i think you should go,” you heard your mother’s voice say protectively. you didn’t open your eyes again until you heard jake’s retreating footsteps. only then did you see his defeated retreating figure.

your mom pulled you into a hug and shut the door, effectively blocking your view of jake. you buried your face in her chest as a sob overtook your whole body. your mother held you close, rubbing comforting circles in your back.

the next day you couldn’t get the vision of jake at your doorstep out of your mind. it’s all you thought about all night. the tears that fell from his eyes and his defeated stance as he ushered away. you decided on the half of you that wanted closure.

you: meet me at your spot.

despite you sending that message as you were already halfway there, jake was still there before you like he always was. he was pacing around when you entered, looking even worse than he did yesterday. when he turned and saw you, he immediately started, “y/n, i—“

you held up a hand to stop him. you didn’t come here to hear his excuses. “don’t speak,” you said, and you sounded so done with the world. like nothing even mattered anymore. “i’m not here to hear whatever excuses you’ve come up with, i’m here merely for closure.”

jake’s brows furrowed as you talked and his shoulders slumped. a look of confusion rang loudly on his face as he tried to piece together what you were saying. “i’m going back home early—a couple days from now, actually. so this is goodbye, jake.” you turned to leave but he grabbed your wrist to stop you.

“wait…” jake murmured with a pleading gaze. he pulled a folded up piece of paper from his pocket and pressed it into the hand that held your wrist until your grip tightened around it. you looked down briefly and looked back up at jake with a melancholic look.

“please,” jake begged, voice a whisper. “please don’t go.”

you shook your head at him and went to pull your wrist from his grasp but he held on tighter, refusing to let you slip through his fingers again. “what about the rest of our bucket list—summer splash? we were supposed to go together… and i was supposed to show you more of the hidden spots around town—you can’t leave yet, y/n. you can’t.”

you looked away from him and the way his voice broke as he spoke to you. you pulled your wrist again to escape the shaking from his hands. this time you were able to break free. you shook your head again, “goodbye, jake.”

you didn’t look back at him as you sped away, over the rocks and through the warm sand as tears fell once again from your eyes. you knew if you did you’d stay, and you just didn’t know how much more heartbreak your heart could take. you had to leave, there was no other option. if you looked back at him, you would’ve stayed forever.

as you and your mother packed your things for your upcoming flight, the letter jake gave you burned a hole through your brain from how much you were thinking about it. the feather-light paper weighed a ton of bricks everytime you picked it up that you stuck it in the pocket of your suitcase to hopefully forget about it. you didn’t.

it was all you could think about as you said your goodbyes to your family and as you entered the airport to wait for your flight. you didn’t want to read it, but a part of you had to know what the contents of the letter were.

you slipped the letter out of the pocket it was in as you were boarding your flight, making sure to keep a tight hold of it so you wouldn’t lose it anywhere. only when your mother had fallen asleep did you unfold it and read jake’s words, inhaling sharply as your eyes scanned the first line.

to my love, my one and only,

i’ve never really written a letter to someone before. as i told you, i’m not really the best at expressing my emotions, but i’ve run out of options to get my feelings across to you. i really do hope you read this.

where do i start? from the beginning, i guess… when i pulled you out from the water, you were the prettiest girl i had ever seen. i’ll admit that then, i only saw you at face value. i only saw what you could do for me, and not you as a person. but then i thought that it was fine because it was likely that i’d never see you again, until i saw you at our spot.

something in my brain just automatically clicked and i had to get to know you; know your name and all of your interests and hobbies and every single little mundane thing about you. i just knew i had to know you. put aside my ways and be someone worthy of even being your friend. so that’s what i did, or at least, that’s what i tried really hard to do. it turns out when you’ve screwed over as many people as i did, karma comes to bite you in the ass quick.

but even then, i couldn’t help falling in love with you. i wanted to spend every waking moment with you, just breathing the same air. unfortunately, that didn’t stop me from fucking up repeatedly. i got jealous, and albeit—even a little possessive, and got out of line. i really hurt you and words can’t describe how sorry i am.

i’ll say it once, and i’ll say it a million more times if i have to. i meant what i said when i told you that you’re the only want i wanted. not hana, not some random other girl, you. you’re the one i want, the one that i desperately need, and now you’re slipping through my fingers because of my own dumb actions.

i should’ve been honest with you and maybe things wouldn’t have ended like this. i’m sorry that hana and i’s past ruined our relationship, and i’m sorry that i let so many things come between us to ruin it as well.

about two years ago, hana and i dated. it didn’t last very long, only four months, but she’s made my life hell ever since trying to get back with me. no, i didn’t cheat on her or anything of that sort, we just didn’t click. and i don’t know if it was my reputation or what, but she’s been trying to tell me in any way she could that that was a mistake.

i don’t know how much you overheard, but none of it was true. she cornered me and wrapped herself around me, saying how i must’ve still had feelings for her since we “kissed.” the kiss in question being me giving her mouth to mouth and saving her life. i told her that she was a psycho to think that mouth to mouth—saving a person’s life—was kissing. that’s when you found us.

i would do anything to fix this, anything for another chance with you. prove to you that i’m someone you can be with and not have to worry about what my next move will be. if i’m being completely honest—and i’m not saying this to try and manipulate you or anything, so please don’t take it that way—but over the course of the summer i really have fallen for you, y/n. with these unfortunate circumstances, it made me realize that i love you, i really do. and i’ll fight for you, because our relationship can’t end on this note. i refuse.

i’m so sorry for everything i’ve done and everything that has happened because of me. and the worst part is, i’m not sure if i’ll ever even be able to tell you any of this in person. i’m not even sure if i’ll ever even see you again, but i have have hope that i will. like the poets say, or whatever, two people who are meant to be will always find a way back to each other. and we are meant to be.

no matter how long it take, i’ll wait for you.

i’m also sorry for this shitty fucking letter, i tried to be all poetic and in tune with my emotions, but i got do clue how to do any of that shit. i hope my emotions still shine through, though. i love you.

always yours, jake

you clamped a hand over your mouth as you suppressed your sobs, looking at the letter through your now blurry vision. you didn’t know how to feel, if you were being honest with yourself. it took your mind a while just to process everything he was saying. the one thing that stuck with you at the moment was the fact that he loved you. jake loved you, and you were coming to the startling realization that you loved him too.

you’ve never loved anyone romantically, but the feeling was undeniable as anything but. you loved him and he loved you.

tucking the letter neatly and safely into the pocket of your carry-on bag, you tried to focus on everything that has happened this summer. tried to name every emotion that came up and categorize every thought. you still didn’t come up with an inkling on how to feel. even if jake’s words were true, which you suspect they were, that doesn’t change all the hurt he put you through because of his selfishness.

but still, you regretted ending everything how you did. now you were millions of miles in the air far away from where jake was and the only thought in your head was how you missed him already. how you wished you kissed him one last time.

how you wished you were next to him laying under the stars where the rest of the world melted away.

but it was too late. you had already made your decision, and you had no choice but to stick with it.

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iguanodont · 2 days

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I did say I would post more oc stuff so here’s some old sketches of Ahab; the first and second time he saw other kuo toa. Ahab was raised by humans, and never came close enough to speak to another of his own kind until his 20’s. Their communities are small and remote, and after centuries of conflict and persecution by the land races they tend to avoid contact with all outsiders.

There are multiple reasons kuo toa seldom integrate in land race societies, and a lot of them have to do with lack of accommodation for their amphibious bodies. Their skin needs to be at least slightly damp at all times or they experience severe discomfort, and Ahab is prone to scale shedding and skin infections where clothes chafe away his mucus layer. Kuo toa are also nocturnal, with eyes that see poorly in bright light, and do not tolerate warm environments well. Ahab really only survived because he grew up on a ship, and after learning to speak common found use as go-to nightwatchman and hull scraper (he often eats the barnacles and other foulers to supplement ship rations, much of which he doesn’t digest well).

#ocs #kuo toa #ahabblefrup #i know I’ve posted about this guy before but i have. so much art of him

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imaginaryf1shots · 2 days

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Clingy | Lewis Hamilton

WC: 1.3K

Lewis x wife!reader

Summery:(REQUESTED) Just lewis being affectionate and clingy to his wife.

Warnings: none

Masterlist

Lewis has always been the attentive type, you loved to spoil you and take care of you. He's very loving and caring, he started picking up on your little wants and needs very early in the relationship without you even having to say anything. What was weird is how much more all his love became, everything just intensified for some unknown reason, it was amplified.

Lewis never asked you to travel with him to any of his races, he always just left you to pick and choose when you wanted, he never wanted to pressure you into coming if you didn't feel up to it. But as of late it all has changed, each week he'd ask you to fly with him.

"But Lewis, I don't have any more clothes, I'll go home and next week I'll fly out with you." You'd say and he'd just laugh.

"Sweetheart, I can buy all the clothes you want." Needing anything was not an excuse to Lewis, he earned more than enough for you to dress in new clothes every day if you wanted. And you earn your own money from working in his team as well, so money was not an issue. Offering you a job on his team was also one of the ways he'd kept you close.

"Fine, I'll go with you." You say giving up and Lewis leans over to press a loving kiss to your lips. "Only because you're cute though."

"Hey, I'll take it." You both laugh enjoying the moment.

Lewis isn't the biggest fan of PDA, sure he's kissed you when he won races before and don't get me started on the kisses you shared whenever he won world championships, the online girlies went crazy over these. Lately they have way more content to share around containing you two, or more like Lewis's hands.

He's always touching you one way or another, holding your hand, his arms around your shoulders, pulling you back to his front as you both talked to someone, arm around your waist, on your butt on your thighs, his hands were everywhere.

"My timeline is filled with you touching me." You tell Lewis while you were in the car on the way to the track, you turn the phone for him to see. His hand was on your thigh from the moment you got in the car.

"What can I say, I just have a beautiful and irresistible wife." Lewis says and you chuckle.

"Flattery does nothing, you're already married to me." You tease Lewis, he smiles at you.

"Best thing that has ever happened to me." You blush at the look he's giving you, you try to hide your face from him, it's been so many years since you started dating and he still has that effect on you. "Don't hide your face."

That makes you blush more, Lewis kisses your cheek lovingly, and you lean into him.

The rare times you're not together, you're always texting. Check-ins are a must in your relationship. Just small texts, where are you? How was your day? Did you eat? Do you need anything? Do you want anything? And a ton of I miss you(s) and I love you(s).

During race weeks, when he was in the garage or in a meeting, he'd always pop in or look for you to spend just a few minutes together before he's whisked somewhere else.

"Lewis, you look happy today." The interviewer commented at the smiley man in front of her, his smile was contagious.

“Yeah, it’s just my wife is standing right there." Lewis said and pointed at where you were smiling and talking to one of the Mercedes staff, unaware of his eyes that went to you every once and a while. But you felt it when the camera turned to face you along with everyone else. You slowly stopped talking and looked at everyone weirded out how they all turned to you at once.

"Uh hi." You say uncertain, waving your arm slightly at them.

"Lewis was just saying you're the reason he's so happy today." The interviewer said and your eyes went to your husband who was smiley just like he was all weekend.

“He's just been giddy all weekend." You try to make the focus go elsewhere, despite being in the spotlight for years because of Lewis you still weren't 100% comfortable with the attention especially when it was mainly on you.

"I'm just happy she's here this weekend." Lewis says and you smile at him refusing to say anything, since you're there most weekends.

There was a rare weekend when you were feeling a tad bit tired and wanted to just stay back home, feeling a bit sick and exhausted. After the race Lewis flew home straight away, the race was in Italy so the flight to Monaco was a very short one. When Lewis made it home the first thing he did was head to the living room where you sat watching your comfort show.

You heard the front door open and close, making you smile to yourself anticipating the warm greeting. And within seconds, Lewis was by your side, his arms wrapping around you in a gentle yet possessive embrace.

"Hey, love." He murmured, nuzzling his face into your neck. "Missed you so much."

"You saw me not even four days ago." You chuckle softly pausing your show.

"It's still too long." He sighed, tightening his hold on you. You couldn't help but laugh, it was all too funny, how protective and clingy he's become in the last couple of months. It was like he sensed it all before she did, something that she was sure of just today. The incline that you had proven today and it put everything in perspective.

"Lewis." You say pushing his braids out of his face, you turn so you're facing him, his arms loosening from around you. His eyes were filled with adoration and love, they were inviting and warm. "I need to tell you something."

“What is it, love?" Lewis asked, a hint of concern creeping into his voice. "Are you alright?" His grip on you tightened a bit. "Is everything alright? Are you sick?"

You shook your head no, your smile widening. "No, nothing like that. Actually, quite the opposite... Lewis, I'm pregnant.”

For a moment there was silence. Lewis took a few seconds to process your words, but once he processed it and it made sense in his mind, his eyes lit up with pure joy and disbelief.

"You're- you're pregnant... we're having a baby?" Lewis stammered, you nodded your eyes filling with tears.

"Yes, we're having a baby." A sound of pure joy just escaped his lips, you laugh as he pulls you up and in a fierce hug.

"Oh my god, this is amazing!" He exclaimed, twirling you around." I'm going to be a dad."

You laughed, the room is filled with the sound of pure happiness and love.

"Yes you are." You lean into him, and you verbalise your theory that you had since you found out. "That's probably why you've been so clingy and protective lately, your instincts knew before we did."

Lewis kissed you deeply, his happiness overflowing.

"I love you so much, and I love our little one already." He whispers against your lips.

"I love you too Lewis." You replied, resting your forehead against his. "I can't wait for us to be parents, and start the next chapter of our life together."

If you thought Lewis was protective and touchy before, you had it wrong. From the moment he found out about you being pregnant he doubled everything that he was before. His attentiveness took on a new meaning. Every touch, every gesture, was filled with even more love and care, now directed not just at you but at the life inside of you. You just relished in his attention and his affection, knowing that your life and your baby's life will just be filled with endless love and happiness.

Maintaglist

@gnatthefly . @mochimommy2002 . @llando4norris . @mrswolffs-blog . @barcelonaloverf1life . @c-losur3

#f1 imagine #f1 fanfic #f1 scenario #f1 x reader #lewis hamilton #lh #lh44 #lewis #lewis x reader #lewis imagine #lewis hamilton fanfic #lewis hamilton x reader #lewis hamilton one shot #lewis hamilton imagine #lewis x wife! reader #lh44 x reader #lh44 imagine

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peachesofteal · 10 hours

Text

Simple Math / Part Fourteen

Simple Math masterlist

Ghost/Soap/female reader 4.1k words - AO3 Warnings-tags: 18+ MDNI. Discussion of child loss/miscarriage and domestic violence. Oral sex - fem receiving, face sitting, Johnny is a menace as usual, Simon talks you through it, dirty talk, brief daddy kink, pet names. Nurse!reader, medical inaccuracies, feelings of fear and anxiety, PTSD. Dialogue heavy. Bunny making progress. What's in a name?

When you were a child, you got caught in a storm.

Getting caught in a storm as an adult is a normal thing. It’s not frightening and foreign like it is when you’re young. When you’re a child, storms feel like hurricanes. They feel life altering, life ending. With no concept of larger, or smaller storms, it’s hard to understand how you’d make it through the to the other side.

You remember this one vividly. Your mother was on her way to work, her night job, and you were clicked into the backseat, barely awake, staring out the rain pelted window. The wind was so strong it shook the car, blew it all over the road, your mom’s fingers like rebar gripping the wheel. It was terrifying. It was like you’d never be safe, like the wind would pick your entire world up and send it crashing down into a farm field that stretched a million miles long.

It felt, somewhat, like this moment, and hundreds of moments before it. Small thorns in a life that no longer felt like your own. A far cry from the dreams you had when you were that little girl.

The thorns, the storms, had twisted you into this version of yourself, this stranger, and that’s how you feel as you stand in front of Simon, cold panic crackling through your bones.

Your mouth opens and closes without sound coming out. You’re a fish out of water, lips parting just to swallow dry air, eyes wider than saucers.

Penny cries in your arms, but Simon doesn’t move. Johnny doesn’t breathe, and you stand alone in the silence, baby vomit on your clothes, trembling in fear.

They won’t understand. They’ll know you’re a liar. They won’t trust you.

They won’t want you.

“It’s not… I arranged it months ago.” You blurt, words strung together in a stream of consciousness. “It’s not like, you can just go out and buy a new passport. It takes a while, and connections, and lots of hoops and money and I-“ Simon holds his hand up.

A signal to stop.

“Give me the baby.” He says, stepping forward, arms out, and your hands shake as you pass her over, avoiding eye contact until he tips your chin back. “Take a deep breath, go upstairs, get cleaned up. When you come back down, we’ll talk. Okay?” He looks to Johnny, who nods, and then back to you, expectantly waiting on your answer.

“O-okay.”

Simon still has the passport.

It’s in front of his knee, on the coffee table, but within arm’s reach, close enough he could snatch it up in moment’s notice.

“Were ye goin’ to leave us?” Johnny whispers, and you shake your head.

“No, I… it takes a while. I arranged it months and months ago, before I even met you.” Simon frowns.

“This is not a fake, it’s a real passport. How did you get it?” Oh, fuck. Your throat is as dry as paper, scratchy and stiff, and you force yourself to spit out a coherent sentence.

“I bought it… from a guy.” Brilliant. You sneak a glance at Johnny, who’s watching with a pink sheen on his cheeks, knuckles white against the arm of the couch. He looks upset, and guilt swamps you, worry over making him feel worse in his state eating away inside your heart.

“You know a guy who can get his hands on government issued documents?” Simon holds himself very still. Nearly a statue, his eyes never leave your face, and you move your hands under your thighs to try to stop their trembling.

There’s a familiar feeling building in your chest. A twisted, gnarled root of fear, growing deep. “I… it’s… no, he’s… I was referred to him, by someone else. He doesn’t even know my real name, I’m careful, I’ve-“

“Done this before.” Simon finishes, and your heart stops in your chest.

“Yes.” You whisper. How are they going to feel when they realize you’ve been lying to them about your name? You spiral, imagining the hurt flashing across their faces, the disappointment from Simon, the sadness from Johnny. “I use a new identity, when I move around.”

“Your name…”

“Isn’t my real one.” The admission stings, but that person doesn’t exist anymore. You haven’t been that happy, fulfilled, carefree girl in too long. You don’t know her. You don’t remember her.

She’s dead.

She’s a ghost.

“Will ye tell us? Yer real name?” Simon is thoughtful from where he sits on the chair, focused, as Johnny looks hopeful. They’re both looking at you with trust heavy in their eyes, and it gnaws, burns in your bones all the way through until your real name is slipping free with a whisper.

“That’s beautiful, bun.” Johnny murmurs sweetly, and they exchange a look, something stern etching across Simon’s brow before it drifts away.

“Do you want us to use it?” You shake your head.

“N-no, I… I’m not that girl… anymore. She’s long gone.” The room is silent, and you mull it over, toss it back and forth in your mind. You’re so disconnected from the person you were when you last felt whole, when you last felt real. How will you ever feel that way again?

Something flickers in Simon’s gaze. Something severe and almost sad, a storm in the middle of a sea, a little boat with nowhere to hide, and you get lost in it, lost in him, a million lives and a million emotions clouding the space between your bodies.

He swallows, and it’s gone.

“How does that work with your nursing license?” You blink, but you’re not surprised he knows to ask the one question that will undoubtedly unravel the rest of the threads. The biggest piece of the puzzle.

“I…” Fuck. Are you really going to do this? Are you doing this?

Do you trust them?

It’s not a question now, you know the answer. Know why it is you’ve been sleeping in their bed, helping with their baby, living in their house.

It’s more than trust.

“I had a friend in college. Dean.” You’re really doing this. “He was really smart, and really kind, and going places. We were on different paths, but we stayed in touch. As best we could… my ex didn’t really like me talking to… anyone.” Johnny’s fingers slide across the couch, hesitantly brushing your thigh, and it grounds you, calms you. “He became a fancy, big time lawyer. Like, really big time. One of the best in Texas,” Simon’s eyes narrow, head tilted as he stares at you, before it all flits away, and he returns to stasis, “possibly the country. He… he helped me.” You pause, unsure, and Johnny nods encouragingly.

“Helped ye how?”

“I’ve been running, had been running, for a while. Years. At one point, Dean got a judge in a different state to agree to change my name, my identity, everything, and then seal the record. It gave me a chance to disappear, a fresh start to build from. Or, I thought it did, anyway. My ex is… very determined, it didn’t take long for him to catch up.”

“So, your license…”

“Whenever I get a new job, I refer the HR department to my big fancy lawyer in Texas, and he makes sure my license is accepted and they understand the circumstances. I manage the rest… on my own. The turning over of a new identity- identification documents, passports, housing, everything.”

“Do they know anything about this?”

“No. I think they probably think I’m in witness protection or something, and per the court order, they can’t discuss the discrepancy with the name on the license to anyone in the hospital. Dean makes sure of that.” You laugh weakly, but Simon doesn’t, he only studies you, laser focused. “I can’t really have contact with him anymore, because it leaves too much… out in the open, but he’s a really good friend. The best.” Tears blur your vision as you think about Dean, remembering the way he stared at you the night you turned up on his doorstep.

You were so young then. So stupid. But he gave you best chance he could, and you’d always be grateful.

Johnny reaches for where your hand is shoved beneath your thigh, and lightly tugs until it’s in his grasp, warm and safe.

“An’ ye change yer identity every time?” You nod, lips tucking in over your teeth.

“That’s what the passport is for. In most places, a passport counts for both a birth certificate and identification card, so they don’t ask for a secondary. It’s the easiest to use.”

“You were preparing to run.” Simon murmurs.

“Before Johnny became my patient, I was getting ready to, yeah.”

“Why?” You take a deep breath, but your chest feels too tight. Fear is still dripping down the back of your throat, making your stomach sick, your hands tremble.

“I knew he was here.” The words break apart into a sob, and your eyes slam shut.

The next thing you know, you’re breathing into Johnny’s warm chest, a hand running up and down your back slowly.

“I don’t want to be scared anymore.” You cry, gasping. “I.. I’m scared all the time. I run all the time. I d-don’t even know who I am, without it. I don’t know how to be here, or be a normal person, or have a normal conversation.”

“Shhh, yer alright, pretty girl. It’s okay.” Johnny hums, and you feel his diaphragm vibrate as he soothes you.

“I want to be with you… but I don’t know how. I’m terrified he’ll come here and- and hurt you, or Penny. That it will be my fault, like everything else has.” You cry harder, chest aching, Simon’s hands closing around your shoulders and pulling you back to tilt your face up to the two of them.

“It’s not your fault, bunny. None of it, ever, has been your fault. Do you understand?” You shake your head no, because you don’t. You’re good at running, at hiding. You’ve made a new life over and over again by doing it, and getting caught is your fault, no matter what they say.

You slipped up. It could happen again.

“You don’t understand. I… I should have left, after he found me in my apartment. I should have left.” It sticks in your mind, playing over and over again. “I sh-should have left, I shouldn’t be here, I-“ your vision tunnels.

“Okay, okay. Easy, sweetheart.” Simon tries to settle you, but everything is bubbling up and you feel like you’re going to explode, like your skin is too tight, like you’re falling apart, all at once.

There’s nothing left inside of you, nothing left to do.

You break.

Millions of miles of denial and fear and agony splinter, shattering into shards that destroy you from the inside out.

“He’s going to kill me.” Johnny curses something thick as you sob, palm flat over your racing heart. “He t-took everything. He made me into… into this, and it’s only a matter of time. He’s going to find me again, and he… he’s-“ He cups your cheek.

“Shhh, bunny. We’re here, we’re right here.”

“No, he’s not. Listen-“ you try to pull away but Johnny stops you, holding you firm as Simon ducks into your line of sight. “Listen to me. He’s never going to touch you again, do you understand? We will never let him near you, ever again. We promise.”

“You can’t pr-promise that.”

“We can,” Simon vows, “but… we need to know everything. What we’re looking for, who he is.”

No. You don’t know why, but there’s a barrier around Phillip’s name. Like you can’t force your tongue to make the sound, and you can’t tell them.

If they know, they’ll look for him. They’ll try to find him; you can already tell.

They’ll get hurt, or worse.

You can’t let that happen.

“I can’t.” You whisper. “I can’t.” Johnny pulls you back into his arms, and you curl up against him, his chin on top of your head. They look at one another, long glances you can’t interpret, before Simon takes a deep breath, his hand gentle on your knee.

“Bunny… do you have a child? Someone you’re trying to protect?” Your eyes slip shut, and despair grips your throat like a vice.

“No.” You croak. “No, there would have been one but…” you drag the truth into the light. “I lost it. He didn’t want it so… he got rid of it.” They both freeze.

“Sweetheart.” Simon whispers, Johnny’s arms going rigid, and you shrug, slipping away from this moment, from them.

“It was a long time ago.” You pause, keeping your eyes closed. “I’m fine.” Johnny scoffs.

“The hell ye are. And ye shouldnae be.” You shake between them, exhaustion settling into your bones like it belongs there, and they linger in silence with you, in the moment, letting it stretch long before Simon murmurs something and brushes his fingertips against your cheek.

“We’ll wait, until you’re ready.” You relax with a small sigh. “But if we don’t know who we’re dealing with, that means no more coming and going. I don’t want you outside this house without me, do you understand?”

“I’m going back to work.” You refute immediately.

“When you’re ready to go back, we’ll come up with a plan to keep you safe.” He says sternly, and you swallow, eyes wide.

“We jus’ want to keep ye safe, pretty girl.” Simon tugs your hand into his, and murmurs lowly.

“I know you’re independent, and you’re used to being on your own, but we’re here now. You don’t have to do this alone. We’ve got you.” Tears burn at the corner of your eyes.

You should tell them no, but you can’t.

You should be angry, or nervous, or even scared, but all you can feel is relief.

You don’t have to do this alone.

The house is quiet when you wake up the next morning.

It’s odd now, opening your eyes to an empty bed. All you’ve known for years, is being alone. All you’ve relied on for so long, was yourself.

But now, when your arms and legs spread wide between the sheets and you come up empty, panic flutters in your heart. “Johnny? Simon?” When there’s no answer, you stumble over the side, loping steps hauling you down the stairs and into the living room.

Johnny’s half-awake on the couch in his boxers, flipping idly through television programs. You breathe a little bit easier, and he cracks a smile. “Morning, pretty.”

“Morning.” You bend in front of him, swooping down to press your lips to his. “Where’s…”

“He took Pen to swim. She’s in classes and then has a playdate at a friend’s house after. Busy wee one, our Penny.” Fingers idly rub against the skin beneath his ear, tracing down to his collarbone.

“You eat breakfast?”

“Was waitin’ for ye.” Something dark and hungry glints in his eyes, and your knees go weak.

“Oh, w-well I can make you someth-“

“No.” He traces down the inside of your thigh, where he’s eye level, and then up, backs of his fingers stroking over the front of your panties, thumb skirting along the seam between your legs. “Not hungry for food, bun. Just for ye.”

“O-oh.” His thumb presses, just enough pressure brushing against your clit, and you gasp, hand shooting out to steady yourself on the arm of the sofa, where his head is.

His lips touch to the inside of your wrist, and he grins. “C’mere Bunny.”

“You’re still recovering.” Your fingers twist in the hem of the t shirt you grabbed off the floor, one of theirs.

“My face isn’t.” His hands wrap around the backs of your thighs, tugging you closer. “My face is the perfect seat for ye, pretty girl. Let me make ye feel good.” Everything tightens, your chest, your heart, each blood vessel stitched throughout your body. Your clit pulses, knot in your stomach tying so tight it makes you lightheaded, agony and arousal singing together in perfect harmony. It’s a song with perfect pitch, swirling around the two of you in euphoric polyphony.

You want this. Want him. Want to let it all go.

“Johnny.”

“Got a seat for ye,” his fingers trace over his lip and down his neck, where his throat bobs with a swallow. You can’t pull your eyes away. “Right ‘ere.”

It doesn’t take more coaxing after he tucks his fingers into your underwear and rolls them down your thighs, giving you a light pat just under your ass, shifting and arranging until you’re perched across his shoulders.

“What if you can’t breathe?” Your voice hitches on a panicked note, and he rubs your legs soothingly.

“Then I’ll die a happy man.” You choke. “Just kiddin’ bunny. Ye cannae hurt me, I can breathe just fine.” His eyebrows crinkle and crease, soft expression puckering down to where his lips part.

Let go. You can do it. You want this. Just let go.

“I- I’m not very good with…” You gulp, chest heaving. “With sex, I uh. I don’t have good memories of it, and I’ve never… I’ve never done this.” It’s the best you can explain, in this moment, and you pray it’s enough, that he’ll understand.

“We’ll go slow.” He promises, still rubbing circles into the backs of your legs, grabbing fistfuls of your ass and thighs, pressing long kisses into your skin. “Ye tell me to stop, if ye dinnae like it or ye want to stop, promise?” You nod. “Say it, pretty girl.”

“I’ll tell you… to stop.” He smiles, and urges you forward, palms still curved around your cheeks.

“Cannae wait to taste ye,” you move slowly, hesitantly, and he encourages gently, patting and rubbing patiently, eyes locked your face the entire time, “have been dreamin’ about it, since that day ye didnae wear any panties to work.”

“Johnny!” you hiss, playfully scandalized, heart trilling. He’s turned a miserable memory, a scary memory, into something not so bad, so easily. It means a lot, means more than you think he knows, and you’re just about to tell him when you feel heat slip across your skin, thumbs stroking down the seam of your cunt. He jerks you forward completely, until the bottom half of his face is missing, and all you can see beneath your legs is a crop of mohawk.

The first touch is heaven. He’s warm, and safe, and you melt onto him, indulging in the feeling of it all. His arms wrap around your hips, anchoring you in place, mouth sloppy against your pussy like he’s trying to devour you whole. You jerk, falling forward at the waist, one hand against the couch, the other fisted in his hair, trying to create space for him to breathe.

“No.” He growls, slamming you back down, nose bumping against your clit over and over as his tongue dives into you, curling up into your body.

You close your eyes. You need more friction, but you don’t know what to do, don’t know how to get it, and the longer you try to figure it out, the more you’re slipping away, kicking and fighting in darker waters.

Stay present. Stay here. With him. You’re safe. Let go.

Your breath stutters in your chest. Two factions fight one another, one trying to catapult you towards an orgasm faster than you’ve ever gotten there in your life, and the other, trying and failing to stem the memories and anxiety that bleed freely from your brain. The pleasure is mixed with pain, with nightmares, and your muscles turn to rock, eyes slamming shut.

A big, warm hand settles between your shoulder blades.

You jolt away from it, but when your eyes snap open-

You see Simon.

He’s on his knees at your side, part of your thigh now pressed against his chest. He watches you intently, sweeping over your features and down to where you’re sitting on Johnny’s face, half relaxed, half coiled tense.

“You’re in control, sweetheart.” Even kneeling, he’s tall enough that he’s nearly eye level with you, and Johnny’s free hand searches for him when he hears his voice. Simon gives him a squeeze, and then lovingly strokes some of his hair from his forehead. “Our sweet boy just wants to make you feel good. Do you want that?”

“Y-yeah.. but I don’t… I don’t know how.” You squeak, burning with embarrassment, still clutching the couch. He pulls that hand free, into his, and rubs a thumb over the back of your knuckles, before placing it back against the armrest. It’s comforting, and reassuring, and he keeps the other one anchored at your back.

“Just relax.” He murmurs above your ear, now cradling your hips. “Hold onto the couch with both hands, like that- good girl.” His grip tightens, and then slowly, he starts to move you. “Find what feels good, take your time.” You roll your hips slowly, looking for the right amount of pressure, the friction you’re desperate for, and Johnny moans beneath you, his own hips flexing. “There you go, does that feel good?” Simon’s eyes are nearly black, and you nod hungrily. “Ride him just like that, don’t stop.”

“Oh my god.” You moan, tilting back. Each time Johnny’s nose or tongue rubs against your clit it’s like lightning striking in your blood, and warmth crackles around you like a blanket.

“Fuck,” Simon growls, palm pressing against your lower belly. “Look a’ the two of you, all mine.” The possession shivers across your skin and you moan, head heavy. Johnny’s tongue finds your rhythm, and then he’s flicking across your clit like he’s plucking a string, a perfect note.

“Johnny, ah…” He groans something in response, the vibration shooting straight to your brain. You tip to the side, face pressing into Simon’s neck, and he supports your weight, keeping a hand on your hip, now spread over where Johnny holds you. You're in a frenzy now, panting, chasing, rough pace only increasing with desperation.

“Good girl, rubbing your little pussy all over our sweet boy’s face. Is he going to make you cum? Can you show daddy how pretty you are when you cum?” Daddy. The word makes you dizzy, strikes you dumb. Simon’s lips press to the crown of your head, and all you can do is gasp and whine, hips jerking across Johnny’s nose and mouth, slick, lewd noises coming from between your legs.

“Oh, oh- fuck,” you gasp, fingers now tightening in Johnny’s hair, electricity sparking through your muscles like fireworks, “I’m gonna- I’m-“ You drag yourself across him, chasing the edge of oblivion, white light crackling behind your eyes as you clench them shut with a near shout. Your orgasm shoots through you, exploding every cell in your body into star light, everything heating together as your eyes roll backwards and your hips shake. Johnny grunts, still anchoring you down onto him, aftershocks rattling through your bones to your teeth. Simon pries him lose, keeping a hand on you, and him, as he pulls you back to reveal Johnny’s face.

He's soaked. Neck, chin, cheeks, stubble all coated in you, and your eyes goes wide, wicked pleasure at the sight curling in the pit of your stomach.

You did that. Your boy.

Simon chuckles like he’s reading your mind, tucking you into his chest before pulling you free and placing you in the space next to Johnny on the couch, laying down. He kisses him slowly, softly, running his tongue over his cheeks before returning to dip back into his mouth and pulling away. “Stay, ‘m gonna go get a towel to clean you both up.” He says quietly, kissing your nose before rising and slipping off into the kitchen. Johnny tries to tug you closer.

“How was that?” You can hear the smug smile and his face as he breaks the silence, and your cheeks burn.

“Really good.”

“Hmph, I was shooting for amazing, so I guess we’ll just have to try again.”

“That’s not… it was!” He laughs, and then gives you a half hug with his good arm.

“Ye were perfect, bunny. We’re so lucky to have ye.” Tears burn and threaten to spill.

“I’m the lucky one.” You whisper, and you don’t know if anything could be truer. It’s more than luck now, more than a chance meeting, a chance occurrence. It’s something bigger, something all consuming, something stronger than anything you’ve ever known.

Something bright, like the sun.

Something like… love.

#simple math #peaches writes #ghoap x reader #soap x reader #simon riley x reader #simon ghost riley #ghost x soap x reader #simon ghost riley x reader #john soap mactavish #simon riley #ghost x reader #ghost x reader x soap #johnny soap mactavish

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mingyuscoffee · 2 days

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ten reasons to avoid italy

pairing kim mingyu x fem! reader genre fluff | 11.5k words | exes to lovers summary when your ex joins you and your friends on a week long vacation to cancun, you have no choice but to avoid and make the best of it… so how is he always next to you? warnings mentions of alcohol consumption, fear of heights, flashbacks, being seasick, taking pills for medicine (motion sickness), eating seafood, and floating away in the ocean (not far). use of y/n and seventeen member's korean names. also jeonghan and seungcheol being parents.

HEAVILY INSPIRED by the nana tour with seventeen show. please watch if you haven't, it's so fun. IF YOU HAVE WATCHED, there are many inside jokes and scenes from the show that are in this writing, so hope you can pick it out!

P.S. i included seungcheol to join the trip!

italics are flashbacks!

The Korean barbecue restaurant was filled with the delicious scent of grilled meat and spices. With you were Seungkwan, Seokmin, and Soonyoung for dinner in honor of Seokmin's birthday.

“Speaking of,” Soonyoung pours you a shot of soju from across the table, his face red from the alcohol, “We’re going to Italy with the other members in the summer if you want to join?”

Seungkwan and Seokmin study your face silently, anticipating your reaction. They knew mentioning the friend group was a sensitive subject.

“Won’t Mingyu be there?” You don’t miss a beat, “I don’t think I’m ready to see him yet.”

You had met all of SEVENTEEN through Seungkwan, your long-time family friend, and had grown close with every member. Your relationship with Mingyu blossomed from this friendship, leading to three years of dating.

Mingyu was the love of your life, but soon it became increasingly difficult to see him due to his comebacks and hectic schedules. He stopped putting effort into the relationship first so after two weeks of fighting every night, and both of you being too stubborn to apologize first, you both called it quits.

You were heartbroken, crying for a month, and since then, you hadn't been attending the monthly group dinners concerts, and events, trying to give yourself space to heal. However, after Seungkwan spent more time with Seokmin and Soonyoung for their BSS group, the four of you started hanging out.

The three never talked about Mingyu in front of you, that was, until now.

Seokmin nudges your side, his expression playful as he tries to lift the mood. “Everyone but him. He's not available to come because he's going to Paris for a fashion show.”

Seungkwan shakes his head, focusing on the grill. "We'll get busy after summer for our comeback preparations."

You sigh, looking at the hopeful faces of your friends. You know what Seungkwan is doing; you definitely wouldn’t want to pass up a chance to relax and have fun with all your close friends, especially if it would get hard to see their faces.

Soonyoung tilts his head with a smile, his eyes twinkling with excitement. “Come on, it’s also our first time in Europe! We have to experience that together,” he says, his voice filled with anticipation.

Seungkwan finally looks up, his expression softening. “And Jeonghan is planning the entire trip so there's no need to worry,” he reassures, his gaze meeting yours with warmth.

You let out a reluctant sigh, they were making it hard to say no. “Fine. Text me the details tomorrow.”

“Okay, it’s going to be so much fun!” Seokmin cheered, raising his glass in a toast.

"Salute!" [Cheers!]

"Flight to Rome is now boarding,"

“Finally,” you mumble, rising up from the uncomfortable chair and making sure you didn’t leave anything behind.

Seungkwan informs you, gesturing towards the boarding sign. “Looks like first class is boarding now. Let’s go,” he says, urging you to follow him.

At the announcement, all of your friends make their way to Jeonghan to grab their boarding tickets. Jeonghan had organized the entire trip and booked first-class tickets for everyone, claiming it was supposed to be a relaxing vacation. You were surprised he knew someone who could help him book first-class, but you weren't complaining.

“Thanks, Jeonghan,” you say, holding the ticket in your hand and turning back to Soonyoung. "So, like I was saying..."

You walk away with him and Seungkwan to line up with everyone else, too busy explaining the plot of a new show you started.

Behind you, a curious Hansol receives his ticket last. “Jeonghan, why do you have another ticket left?”

Jeonghan informs Hansol, "That's because Mingyu’s coming soon. I have to wait for him, so we’ll board later.”

Hansol tilts his head in confusion. "Isn't he supposed to go to France today? He was packing excitedly and even looking for places to eat there."

Jeonghan shrugs, "He told me that the show got canceled in advance because it's expected to rain the entire week in Paris."

“What does rain have to do with a fashion show?”

Jeonghan’s face looks unsure, but he tells Hansol what Mingyu told him. “Uh, it was an outdoor show. I don't know, he just gave me the money to buy his ticket.”

“Okay, I'll see you both on the plane then.” Hansol places his headphones on before lining up behind Seungcheol and Junhui.

“Is anyone sitting in the same row as me?” Chan asks, and immediately everyone looks down at their tickets.

“I’m sitting in row two,” Wonwoo answers, waiting for someone to speak out.

Seungcheol grins. “Wonwoo, I’m sitting in the same row as you!” He cheers, and the two walk next to each other.

You study your own ticket.

“Does no one have row four?” you speak out loud, hoping you aren’t next to a complete stranger.

Everyone starts finding their seat buddy while you stand alone.

On the plane, the seats were isolated, but the seats were in pairs, so two people had their own space but still sat next to each other.

“Last time I checked, I’m with Jeonghan,” Jisoo announces, showing everyone his boarding ticket.

“I guess I’m the only one in my row,”

You hand your head low, realizing that since the group was an odd number of thirteen, someone was bound to sit alone if there were pairs of two. It was just weird because you were in one of the middle rows, being row four, and you assumed a later row would be a single person.

“It’s okay,” Seokmin reassures you. “If it’s a stranger, you can just sleep the whole time.”

You board the plane with your friends, the luxurious first-class cabin welcoming you with spacious seats and attentive flight attendants. The atmosphere is a mix of excited chatter and the soft hum of the airplane engines.

In front of you, your friends start to find their seats and settle down.

"This feels great," you say, finding your cubby, immediately sitting down and leaning back in the comfortable space.

Jihoon and Minghao walk down the aisle and spot your relaxed state, laughing at how quickly you settled into your seat.

You look for the sleeping mask that is given to everyone, planning to get a blanket later and fall asleep.

It was a habit of yours to sleep on the plane, and plus, you had been working until last night, so you needed to rest now before landing.

"Are you looking for a sleeping mask?" A voice asks from beside you. You remain busy rummaging through the gift bag to turn your head.

"Yes, I think it's in this bag, thank you," you answer, assuming it is a flight attendant.

To your luck, the sleeping mask was not inside the bag; instead, there was a toothbrush, toothpaste, and hairbrush.

"Here," the person says again. You freeze, staring at the sleeping mask.

"Wait, that's mine..." you trail off, staring at your old sleeping mask.

It was the one that you used when traveling with Mingyu.

Your eyes slowly look up to the owner of the voice.

"What are you doing here?" was the first thing Kim Mingyu heard from you after exactly six months of not talking.

His hand is still out, the sleeping mask you used to wear during vacations with him in his hand.

Mingyu's expression is calm, “This is my seat,” he motions at the empty cubicle next to yours.

You don't have anything to say as your mind races, anger bubbling up inside you.

Mingyu sighs, glancing at the sleeping mask. “I brought this because I know you like to sleep on planes. I thought it might help you.”

"Everyone said that you're not availab-" You stop mid-sentence, deciding it is not a priority to interrogate him.

You glance around, desperately wanting to change seats with one of your friends.

When you catch the stewardess’ eye, she smiles and announces to the plane, "Everyone, please remain in their seats for takeoff."

Frustrated, you comply and turn back, determined to ignore Mingyu.

He quietly sits down, a frown on his lips.

He hoped to be on talking terms with you, but he expected too much.

You place your headphones on and look out the window, ignoring his presence as the plane taxis down the runway and ascends into the clouds.

You close your eyes, trying to block out the thoughts of Mingyu. You take a deep breath, trying to focus on the soothing hum of the airplane engines.

‘You were not going to get any second of sleep now.’

1. YOUR EX IS ALSO GOING TO ITALY

“We swear, we had no idea Mingyu was coming!” Seungkwan's voice is frantic, trying to prove his innocence. His eyes remain wide since the moment he witnessed Mingyu walking behind you out of the plane.

“Seungkwan, then tell me why my ex,” you point behind Seungkwan's head to where Mingyu is standing, talking to Wonwoo and Minghao, “is here, in Rome, with us right now.”

You kept your cool on the plane, although seeing Mingyu would have made you emotional, and tried to fall asleep to express your anger after getting off the plane.

It was night when you arrived, and Jeonghan was trying to call the arranged transportation to take you all to the villa he booked.

All your friends stood around waiting for Jeonghan to finish talking to the airport receptionist while you pulled your three friends to a secluded corner, away from earshot.

"I still can't believe he's here though," Soonyoung spoke, taking a peek at Mingyu.

Seokmin nodded along with a slight grin, thinking of all the chances for Mingyu to sit with you, "And that Y/n had to sit next to him the entire eleven-hour plane ride."

Soonyoung, noticing your irritated state, chimes in, “Before we asked you to join us on the trip, we checked the group's schedule. Mingyu was supposed to be the only one not available to come because of his event.”

Seokmin steps in, his expression earnest. “We seriously don’t know why he’s here, either!”

Maybe your best friends are telling the truth.

They have been going out of their way to prevent you and Mingyu from crossing paths, but still, how did this happen?

“Wait,” Seungkwan mumbles, his eyes looking behind you. "It must have been Jeong-"

“Hey,” Jeonghan approaches your group first, causing Seungkwan to bite his tongue. "Time to head to our villa now," Jeonghan points to the exit of the airport, where the rest of your friends are socializing.

You glance back at Mingyu, who is laughing at something Wonwoo said.

You take a deep breath, this vacation is supposed to be about relaxation and fun, not dealing with feelings from the past.

“This is not going to be fun,” you say while all of you trail behind Jeonghan to leave.

“Okay, the transportation is sorted,” Jeonghan briefs, glancing at each of you. “Let’s head to the villa and settle in for the night.”

The group was split into four cars, so obviously you chose to ride with your close friends.

You sit in the passenger seat, placing on your seatbelt, while Soonyoung gets in the driver's seat. You place the villa's address into your phone for directions while Seungkwan and Seokmin place the luggage into the trunk of the car.

"Do you have space for me?" You spot Hansol outside your window with his suitcase.

"Oh, hey Hansol, we have one more seat, you can drive with us." You offer and point to his suitcase, "You should give that to Seungkwan and Seokmin now before they finish loading the trunk."

"Okay, thanks," Hansol walks behind the car so you and Soonyoung can set up the navigation once again.

"Are we ready to go?" Soonyoung asks once Seungkwan, Seokmin, and Hansol place their seatbelt on.

After hearing the choruses of yes, Soonyoung starts the car out of the airport's parking lot, leading the rest of the cars to the villa.

You stare out the window at the passing city lights, until Seokmin turns on songs to sing along to.

"I'm excited for this vacation," Seungkwan sighs while looking out the window at the streets of Rome.

Hansol agrees, "Yeah since all of our friends are here,"

You sigh from the front row, "I hope this vacation gets better,"

Hansol reads the room quickly, "Oh, is it because of Mingyu?"

"Yeah, we all thought he wasn't coming so I wasn't mentally prepared to see him." You turn your head to face Hansol and offer him a smile, "But I'm still glad I came because I haven't seen everyone in so long."

Hansol drums his fingers on his knee, "Jeonghan told me that Mingyu's fashion show got canceled so he joined us."

Seungkwan's eyes widen, "It got canceled? Wow, he really looked forward to that trip."

Hansol replies, "Yeah, that's what I thought when I heard. I guess no one really expected it either."

Suddenly, Seokmin gets excited over the next song from his playlist, singing along to the lyrics. The burst of energy causes Soonyoung to chuckle from the driver's seat, while you and Seungkwan try to record a video of this moment.

The way your friends know how to make you laugh in a situation like this, made you feel hopeful for the vacation.

"Y/n, wake up!"

Soonyoung steps into your room and walks over to open the window curtains, hoping that the sunlight will wake you up. Your first instinct is to cover your entire body with the white blanket, snuggling your head deeper into the fluffy pillow.

"Soonyoung, let me sleep in."

You hear another voice entering the room, "Y/n, get up!"

This time you let out a loud groan, "Guys," You peek an eye open and move the covers, "Why are we going to a sandwich shop in the morning?"

Seokmin stands near the door, holding a toothbrush with toothpaste on it.

"It's actually lunchtime," Soonyoung stares out to admire the view from your room, comparing it with his.

Jeonghan had found a villa with a lot of bedrooms, so a lot of people were able to get single rooms, including yourself.

"Everyone woke up late from traveling yesterday," Soonyoung tells you.

"You have twenty minutes before we head out." Seokimin starts brushing his teeth in your room while Soonyoung walks past to leave, "Come on, they're all waiting," His voice is muffled by the toothpaste, but nonetheless, you can make out his words.

After a sigh, you turn to rise from your bed and decide to join them.

‘Wait a minute.’

"Seokmin," He turns around by your door, the white toothpaste threatening to spill from his lips.

"Who's they?"

Seokmin smiles sheepishly, before running to the bathroom down the hall.

2. YOUR FRIENDS WILL DRAG YOU TO FIVE-STAR SANDWICH SHOPS

"Okay, let me pay, you can all wait outside," Chan announces, waving the group off as he nears the counter.

You allow Joshua, Mingyu, Jun, and Jihoon to walk out of the sandwich shop near your villa, leaving yourself with Soonyoung and Seokmin inside the store, while Chan attempts to pay for the sandwiches in Italian.

"So," You turn to Soonyoung and Seokmin, who suddenly decide to help out Chan. To them, the prices on the menu seem more interesting right now.

Chan's eyes slightly widen in surprise at your state, before he takes a few steps back to listen to his Google Translate for Italian.

"Okay, in our opinion," Seokmin starts, scratching the back of his head.

"This sandwich shop shouldn't be passed up just because Mingyu is coming."

"How do you even know this place is good? You've never been to Europe before." You start waving your hands around, hopefully not scaring the store owner who is making eight sandwiches behind the counter.

Soonyoung opens his phone, showing his screen with a grin, "Look here, the Yelp rating says five stars."

"Seriously?"

"But, it's five stars!"

Your mouth thins into a line, "You know what, okay," you pinch the bridge of your nose, "I know I can't just avoid him forever. But next time, please let me know in advance so I'm aware."

Before they agree, an alert voice interrupts your conversation.

"Hai appena detto che sono cento euro?" [Did you just say it’s a hundred euros?]

After the delicious lunch and a new five-star Yelp review from a satisfied Soonyoung, you were joined by everyone else to head to the Arco di Constantino.

A giant bus stood in front of you, one that Jeonghan had rented for the rest of the trip for easier travel, so you went in with Seungkwan and sat in one of the two-seat rows in the middle.

The rest of your friends trail in loudly, most of them walking past you to sit in the back row.

To your surprise, Mingyu plops down on the seat in the row next to you.

When Seokmin comes to sit next to Mingyu, he stands up for Seokmin to sit in the window seat.

After Seokmin sits down, Mingyu sits to place his seatbelt on and meets your eyes, "What? I like the aisle seat."

‘That's a lie.’

You shrug, turning your head away from Mingyu.

It wasn't your business where he sat down although right now, it was right next to you.

"After a war ends, Constantino walks under it to celebrate his victory."

"No way, that's correct!"

"How did you know that, Mingyu?" You hear a curious Seungcheol behind you.

"I guessed, I can't even believe I got that right," Mingyu admits, stunned at his own response.

Wonwoo is next to them, asking another question to entertain the two.

The bus arrived at the location and everyone was walking closer to see the building.

The Arch of Constantine was breathtaking, its ancient structure standing tall against the bright blue sky. As you walked through the historic site, you couldn’t help but feel a sense of awe.

"There are carvings on the gate," Soonyoung points out while walking down the gray stone path. "How do you think they made it?"

Jihoon stares up at the gate next to you, "They probably placed a stone down and carved it, then added more stones on top."

You tilt your head, "The attention to detail is insane,"

"It's next to the colosseum," Minghao says, taking out his phone to take photos. The group splits up to take photos of the arch and the colosseum.

While walking back to the bus, Junhui suddenly says, "I'm kind of craving gelato right now."

"You want some?" Jeonghan asks Junhui from beside you.

"Yeah, I want some," Soonyoung responds, spotting the little stand in front of you.

"Can we agree on a flavor?" Seungcheol asks while staring back at the entire group.

"Is lemon good?" You suggest while staring back at the flavors.

It was easier to agree on a flavor when getting food with a big friend group.

"Yeah, I'll order." Jisoo offers, so you step back from the stand to wait for a cone with Seungkwan.

You see Seokmin and Hansol walk over to Minghao to ask for a bite, both of them complimenting the gelato.

Wonwoo joins the two of you with a cone, licking the gelato, "I feel so happy while eating this,"

Mingyu and Junhui join your circle, both holding lemon gelatos in hand.

"I feel like I can travel the world with just a camera," Wonwoo adds, engaging in the conversation with Seungkwan.

Mingyu taps your shoulder quietly, handing you his gelato.

Your mouth is open in surprise, "What about you?"

Mingyu shrugs, following after Junhui, Wonwoo, and Seungkwan who start walking to the bus.

"Thanks," you tell him before hurrying to the group.

When you were busy talking to Wonwoo and Junhui about your hopes to travel in the future, you hear Seungkwan scolding in the back, "Mingyu, why didn't you get your own, stop talking mine!"

3. YOU WILL HAVE TO BE CIVIL WITH YOUR EX

"We're back!" You hear Chan from downstairs.

Seungkwan, Chan, and Mingyu went to get groceries at a nearby market for dinner, while the rest of you returned to the villa.

"Can we make kimchi stew?" You hear Soonyoung ask from the kitchen when you reach the end of the staircase. As you enter the first floor, you see Mingyu and Chan unloading the groceries into the refrigerator while Soonyoung, Wonwoo, and Seungcheol open the other non-perishable items.

"Ask Seokmin when he comes down, but I think we can," You answer, studying the packages of food that peeked out of the boxes.

"This is egg," Mingyu says to Chan, handing over a carton of eggs. "Be careful."

"This is ice cream," Mingyu takes out a box of ice cream this time, "It's melting!"

Chan hurries to place the ice cream inside the freezer, matching Mingyu's energy, "Emergency!"

You smile for a second at their behavior, before snapping out it.

If Soonyoung notices from beside you, he doesn't say anything.

"Okay, I'll cook the meat," Mingyu suggests after everyone forms a circle around the kitchen island.

"I'll work on the stew," Seokmin adds, walking over to grab some pork.

You stand across Seokimin, with Soonyoung and Wonwoo by your side, watching as Seokmin cuts up the pork.

"Honestly, we have to leave the cooking to the professionals," Wonwoo says next to you, staring at the rest of your friends who are in the kitchen.

Minghao stirs up eggs to include it with the fried rice, Jihoon adds kimchi and pork into the pan, and Jisoo goes to help wash the vegetables.

"You're right," You decide to sit on the table away from the kitchen and watch the rest of your friends with Hansol and Seungcheol instead.

Eventually, the food is prepared and everyone walks outside to the backyard, where Chan and Wonwoo had already set up the chairs.

"Food coming through!" Seokmin yells as you take a seat in the middle area. You laugh at Seokmin's actions, swerving by a surprised Junhui who was also on the way out to sit.

"Is everything done?" Jeonghan asks, taking a seat next to you.

You nod, "I think so, I'm starving!"

As you guessed, other friends started coming outside, some with the food that they made.

"This looks so good," Wonwoo says across from you, staring at the fried rice and eggs placed on a white plate.

"This tastes good!" Soonyoung compliments the fried rice, after taking a bite.

Mingyu walks outside with the plate of meat spread with barbeque sauce, from Chan and Jisoo's request.

You open your chopsticks, gazing around at the table. All your friends have sat down around, somehow leaving the only empty seat next to you.

‘Why is everyone sitting on both ends of the table? The food is placed in the middle?’

"Hey," You nudge Mingyu quietly, "Can we talk?"

Mingyu meets your eyes, placing down his shot glass, "Here?"

You shake your head, scanning the situation around you. The meal had made everyone happy, resulting in more drinking games.

Thankfully, you and Mingyu had not drunk too much, and no one seemed to notice you and Mingyu talking in the first place, everyone being too drunk already.

"Inside, I'll go first."

You rise from your seat, taking the chance of Seokmin and Seungcheol singing a karaoke song as the perfect distraction to go inside.

Two minutes later, Mingyu finds you leaning on the kitchen island, pouring yourself a cup of water.

"Hey," He approaches you while playing with his fingers, "What did you want to talk about?"

When you look up from the glass cup, Mingyu's standing on the other side of the island, waiting for you to answer.

"Oh, hey, I just wanted to talk about us..." You trail off, tracing over the top of the cup.

"Listen. I know we haven't spoken since our breakup." Mingyu has a frown on his lips, allowing you to continue.

"But I also care about our friends, and I want to be civil, so we don't make our friends feel awkward or uncomfortable."

Mingyu nods slowly, "Okay, so what are you implying?"

"We stay on talking terms for the remainder of the vacation, just until we get back.."

You run a hand through your hair, "So, friends?"

You place a hand out, waiting for Mingyu to shake it.

"Yeah, friends," Mingyu finishes, shaking your hand.

‘Well isn't this situation awkward...’

"I'm going to go head back out first," You take your glass cup and walk past him.

"It's time for Yoon-zino!"

4. YOU WILL CARE FOR YOUR EX

“I can’t wait for this hot air balloon,” Minghao says before yawning.

It was the third day of the vacation. The plan was to wake up early and enjoy a hot air balloon ride over the Italian countryside.

The bus was silent, with everyone sleeping during the ride, but after arriving, the group was loud in excitement.

As you approach the balloon, you overhear Wonwoo and Seungcheol talking enthusiastically. “This is going to be amazing,” Wonwoo says, his camera ready to capture every moment.

“I’ve always wanted to do this,” Seungcheol adds with a grin.

Mingyu stands with them, nodding in agreement, but you can see the fear in his eyes. “Yeah, definitely,” he says, trying to sound convincing.

The balloon ascends, and the view of the Italian countryside is breathtaking. The rolling hills and vineyards spread out below, bathed in the golden light of dawn.

Mingyu is gripping the edge tightly, his knuckles white. He tries to mask his fear with a tight-lipped smile, but it is clear to anyone paying attention that he is struggling. His eyes dart around nervously, avoiding looking directly down.

You notice Mingyu’s discomfort immediately. You want to reach out and hold his hand, to comfort him like you used to, but you hesitate. Mingyu notices, his eyes meeting yours for a brief moment and pleading silently for some form of reassurance.

“Y/n, look at this view!” Seungcheol calls out, snapping you out of your thoughts.

“It’s beautiful,” you say, forcing a smile as you turn your attention back to the scenery. You can still see Mingyu from the corner of your eye, his grip on the edge not loosening.

Hansol is taking pictures with his phone, while Wonwoo quietly admires the scenery through his camera lens. You watch as Mingyu’s discomfort grows. His breaths are shallow, and he keeps shifting his weight from one foot to the other.

“I’m going to take some pictures too,” Seungcheol says, moving around the basket and giving you a clearer view of Mingyu. He glances at you, his eyes silently begging for support.

You almost reach out, almost say something comforting, but you stop yourself. It isn’t your place anymore. You have decided to stay friends, nothing more. But seeing his clear distress, you can't ignore it any longer.

Carefully, you inch closer to Mingyu, making sure none of the others are watching. You reach out and take his hand, squeezing it gently and trying to hide the gesture from the others.

Mingyu looks at you in surprise but he squeezes back, finding comfort from your touch.

“Thanks,” he whispers, barely audible over the sound of the wind.

You nod, offering a small, reassuring smile. For the remainder of the ride, you stay close, your hands intertwined and hidden, providing the comfort he needs away from the others' eyes. Gradually, you notice Mingyu relaxing, his grip on the edge loosening as he starts to enjoy the view.

“Wow, it’s really something,” he says, his voice steadier.

“It is,” you agree, feeling a warmth spread through you at his newfound ease.

Wonwoo continues taking photos with his camera, capturing the beautiful landscape and candid moments of the group. Hansol leans over the edge, enjoying the view with a wide grin on his face.

Later, Hansol bursts into laughter, pointing across to the second hot air balloon where Seungkwan and Seokmin are making exaggerated faces and gestures.

“Look at those two,” Hansol chuckles. “They’re having the time of their lives.”

You look over and can’t help but smile at Seungkwan and Seokmin’s antics, their laughter carrying across the distance between the balloons.

The group is split into three hot air balloons, and you can see the others waving and enjoying the ride just as much.

The ride finally ends, and as soon as the basket touches the ground, you gently pull your hand away. Mingyu lets go reluctantly, a hint of disappointment flashing across his face, but he understands.

'You both have agreed to keep things civil, nothing more.'

As the group gathers for a photo, you find yourself standing next to Mingyu. He looks at you, a small, tired smile on his lips.

“Thanks for sticking close,” he says softly, though you know he means more than just the balloon ride.

“Of course,” you reply, equally softly. “What are friends for?”

For a moment, you catch a glimpse of Mingyu's smile falling, before you turn to walk away. Maybe you're both struggling to define the boundaries of your relationship.

“You guys ready to explore more?” Minghao asks his camera in hand.

“Yes!” Jisoo replies enthusiastically.

Jihoon, who has been quietly enjoying the ride, chimes in with a rare joke. “Wow, that was fun. I should leave the house more often,” he says, making everyone laugh.

You walk away, mingling with the others, but the memory of Mingyu’s fear and your shared moment stays with you. Maybe, just maybe, there is still something worth salvaging between you two.

5. YOU WILL STILL HAVE FEELINGS FOR YOUR EX

As the group returns from their hot air balloon adventure, the energy is still high as they gather in the backyard to enjoy the karaoke machine set up outside the villa.

Wonwoo and Seokmin finish singing the final line of their song, and the karaoke machine score comes out with a neat 100 points on the television screen, prompting cheers and applause from everyone.

Seungkwan and Seungcheol take charge of choosing the next song, and Seungcheol suggests, "Let's do an old song!"

He looks over the song choices from their discography, while Hansol points from the couch next to you, "What about 'Run to You'?"

Soonyoung eagerly agrees, asking for a microphone from Seokmin to sing. The familiar intro starts, and Seungcheol decides to sing Jisoo's part in the beginning, causing the group to laugh before they all join in singing.

As the song plays, you find yourself laughing along with the others, but as the lyrics fill the atmosphere, a sense of melancholy washes over you. The words hit close to home, reminding you of the past and the promises made.

"지금 난 너와 똑같은 무엇이든 필요해 하지만 나에겐 있지 않으니까 우리 다시 만나자 내가 도착하기 전까지 잘 지내고 있어야 해 지금 널 찾아가고 있어"

[Right now, you and I, we both need the same thing But I don't have it so let's meet again later Please be well until I get there I'm going to you right now]

Soonyoung finishes his line and Junhui excitedly calls from the kitchen, announcing that dinner is ready and to go outside to the people inside.

While everyone comes out to the backyard for dinner, you can't shake the bittersweet feeling that lingers from the past conversation with Mingyu.

You get up from the lounge chair, making your way over to take a seat between Soonyoung and Mingyu, the latter observing quietly as you and Soonyoung engage in light-hearted conversation.

As the meal progresses, you find yourself feeling increasingly nostalgic and sad, the memories of your past relationship with Mingyu weighing heavily on your mind. To distract yourself, you accept the drink offered by Soonyoung, the liquid warmth soothing your troubled thoughts.

"Will you always come back to me?" you hear Mingyu ask, his tone serious, pulling you from your thoughts.

You turn your head to Mingyu, currently cuddling in bed together, and his sudden change in mood surprises you. "Baby, that's such a dumb question. Where would I go?"

But Mingyu's face remains serious, causing you to pull him closer to you, seeking reassurance. "No seriously, Mingyu. I'm not going anywhere."

Mingyu sighs, resting his head on top of yours, your bodies tangled under the covers. "If we were to ever stay apart, can you promise me that you'll come back to me?"

Confused, you pull slightly away, trying to meet Mingyu's eyes. "Are you breaking up with me?"

Mingyu shakes his head, his expression pained. "No, never, but if anything were to happen between us, can you promise me that you won't stop loving me?"

Your heart aches at his words, realizing the depth of his fears. You trace over his facial features, feeling a pang of sadness. "Baby, you're seriously scaring me. Why would I stop loving you?"

But Mingyu pouts, his worries still evident. "Just in case, if we were to ever have anything come between us, promise that you will always come right back to me."

You smile softly, understanding his fears. "Yes, I promise that if anything were to happen between us, I will always come back to you."

“What if you don’t?” Mingyu presses on, “What if you don’t come back?”

You think for a second, before answering him, “If you keep loving me, I will always go back to you.”

As the evening progresses and the drinks flow freely, you find yourself drinking more than usual.

Mingyu notices your increasing intoxication and leans over, his voice low with concern. "Hey, maybe you should slow down on the drinking," he suggests gently, but you brush off his concern, insisting you're fine.

Seeing that you're not listening to Mingyu, he calls out to Seungkwan, who is engaged in conversation with Jeonghan a few seats away.

"Seungkwan, could you help Y/n out? I think she's had enough," Mingyu says, taking away the glass full of alcohol before you take a shot with Soonyoung.

Seungkwan nods and quickly comes to your side, gently taking your arm. "Come on, let's get you back to your room," he says softly, guiding you away from the table.

As you walk back to your room with Seungkwan, the alcohol clouding your thoughts, you can't help but open up to him about your feelings for Mingyu.

"I think I like him again," you confess, "I don't know what to do."

Seungkwan listens intently, offering comfort and support as you grapple with your emotions.

6. YOUR EX ALSO CARES FOR YOU

The next day, the plan was to visit a wine festival nearby. It was the last day of the festival, so there were going to be a lot of people.

The group split off, Junhui far ahead first like a curious child, sampling different wines and enjoying the picturesque surroundings. Mingyu, Seokmin, and Chan stayed close by, though you spent most of your time with Seungkwan and Soonyoung.

“Try this one, Y/n,” Seungkwan hands you his glass of red wine after the vendor stops pourng into his glass.

“Thanks,” you said, taking a sip. You could feel Mingyu’s eyes on you, but you refused to look his way.

After a few more sips of wine, your trio was walking in different directions and giggling after every word.

"Soonyoung, you know you're a great friend, right?" You hear Seungkwan say next to you.

Soonyoung finishes his nth cup of wine before flashing a grin, "Aw, you're a great friend too, Seungkwan."

"What about me?"

As the wine tour continued, Mingyu found himself unable to tear his gaze away from you. He hovered nearby, subtly keeping an eye on you as you laughed and chatted with Seungkwan and Soonyoung.

Meanwhile, you were thoroughly enjoying yourself, the effects of the wine starting to take hold as you giggled and stumbled your way through the booths. Seungkwan handed you another glass of red wine, and you accepted it with a grin, taking a sip and savoring the rich flavor.

"Thanks, Seungkwan," you say, feeling the warmth of the wine spreading through your body. "This is delicious."

Soonyoung, equally intoxicated, chimes in with a laugh, "Seungkwan's our wine connoisseur today!"

The three of you continued to wander down the path, sampling different wines and enjoying the picturesque surroundings. Mingyu stayed close by, though he kept his distance, watching over you from afar.

But as the night progressed, Mingyu couldn't help but feel a pang of concern as he watched you grow more and more tipsy.

Eventually, as the group make their way back to the bus, you stumble, nearly tripping over your own feet.

Mingyu quickly moves to steady you, his hands gripping your shoulders to keep you upright.

"Careful there," he says softly.

You blink up at him, a playful grin on your lips. "I'm fine, Mingyu," you insist, though your words are slightly slurred.

Mingyu sighed, knowing there was no reasoning with you in your current state. Instead, he simply nodded, guiding you back to the bus with a gentle hand on your back.

Once on board, you quickly found a seat and slumped against the window, exhaustion starting to set in. Mingyu sat down beside you, watching over you protectively as you drifted off to sleep.

As the bus rumbled back towards the villa, Mingyu took you back to your bedroom, tucking you in and closing the door behind him.

He already knew you wouldn't remember anything tomorrow.

7. YOUR EX WILL HELP YOU

You do not recall anything from yesterday, except that you had a lot of fun with Soonyoung and Seungkwan in the beginning.

When you went downstairs, Hansol told you that Mingyu took care of you the entire time and you couldn't help but stand in shock.

The rest of your friends came downstairs to eat a quick breakfast before departing.

The plan was to travel to Port de Marlei and ride a big yacht, that Jeonghan had pulled some strings for, before having a seafood dinner to end the night.

"Has anyone seen my volleyball?" Seungkwan asks while looking around the boat, hoping it miraculously jumped from the port to the yacht.

Including you, everyone shakes their head no.

While Seungkwan left his tote bag on a bench at the port, the ball rolled away. He was upset because he had grown attached to the volleyball during the vacation, taking it everywhere with him.

Seokmin is right behind Seungkwan, attempting to help him find the volleyball. The two head towards the front of the boat, while the rest of you remain sitting around the lounge area.

"I'm going to feel seasick," Wonwoo says, trying to prepare himself for the ride.

Jeonghan also agrees with Wonwoo, "Me too, I didn't bring any medicine."

Mingyu, who had disappeared earlier, returns to the group, standing in front of you with a small bottle.

"Here," he opens his hand to give you medicine for sea sickness, "I asked the boat crew and they had some."

Everyone stares, except Chan who is busy trying to connect to the Bluetooth speaker. "Oh, thanks," you say, surprised at Mingyu's thoughtfulness.

‘It's like he remembered that you struggle with motion sickness.’

"Wow, Mingyu, what about us?" Jeonghan teases and you take out a pill before giving the medicine to Jeonghan and Wonwoo.

"There's enough to go around," you roll your eyes, taking the medicine with water, before giving the water to the two.

Your heart warms from the caring gesture, but you don't want it to show.

"It's time to depart," the captain of the boat informs everyone, and Seungkwan and Seokmin return from the front, Seungkwan still frowning.

Chan starts playing a ballad song and everyone starts singing along, especially Seungkwan.

Everyone laughs as your best friend starts to sing loudly as if he wasn't upset over losing his volleyball moments ago, and soon others join in to sing.

"Is that a jellyfish?" Seungkwan questions clutching his volleyball.

Everyone had already hopped into the ocean to swim, so it was only you, Seungkwan, and the boat crew left on the yacht.

You stop placing on the snorkeling equipment, turning over to the ocean surface that he was gazing at.

"Wow, that is a jellyfish. Do you think it's safe?" you ask, before tapping the shoulder of a nice lady who was part of the boat crew.

Earlier, she helped Seungkwan find his missing volleyball. Apparently, after the volleyball rolled out of Seungkwan's tote bag at Port de Marlei, the captain of the boat happened to pick it up and throw it onto the front of the yacht.

When the boat crew members finally realized that Seungkwan was looking for a volleyball, the nice lady went to retrieve it from the front, giving it to a now-happy Seungkwan.

You and Seungkwan had taken a liking to her ever since.

She stopped talking to the other crew workers, eyes following where Seungkwan was pointing.

"That is safe," she explains politely, "Not poisonous."

With a sigh of relief, you decide to hop into the ocean first.

"Did you say piranha?" Is the last thing you hear from Seungkwan, along with the crew laughing at him being gullible from their jokes, before swimming away.

"Water taxi coming through." After snorkeling around, you come up to the surface, still swimming, only to see Soonyoung and Chan sitting on top of a paddle board and using the paddle sticks to move around the ocean.

You watch curiously while Jisoo asks to get on the board, which results in the entire board flipping over.

You shake your head while laughing then go back into swimming in the deep waters.

Jihoon is near you, with snorkeling gear on and exploring the water too. You join him and Junhui to dive deeper.

After about an hour in the water, and many explanations from Seungkwan to others that the jellyfish is safe, you notice Hansol leaving the floatie to hop back on the yacht.

You swim toward the floatie, deciding to tan a bit on top of it.

What you didn't realize, is that swimming had worn you out, resulting in you taking a slight nap.

"Where's Y/n?" Mingyu hears as he climbs back on the yacht.

"She was swimming with Jihoon and Junhui earlier..." Jisoo trails off, realizing that Jihoon and Junhui were back on the boat, resting on the chairs with others.

"Wait, actually though, where is she?" Seungcheol and Jisoo see Mingyu on alert and realize you are nowhere to be found from the group of people still in the water.

Soonyoung and Seungkwan climb on the yacht to look for you too.

"Is anyone next to Y/n?" Mingyu yells from the yacht to the people in the water, hoping you were just diving for a solid two minutes and someone saw you go under the waters.

"Wait, don't tell me that's her," Jisoo points from the edge of the boat to a floatie that seems to get further by the second. "How did she get so far?"

"Oh my god, I think she's napping. Does she have a life jacket on?"

Seungkwan recalls you before the two of you went into the water, "I don't think she does."

"We have to tell the boat crew," Soonyoung says, staring at how you were closer to the rocks than the yacht now.

However, before anyone can get to the captain, Mingyu has a life jacket on, and a spare one in his hand, and jumps into the water.

"Don't tell me he's swimming to her." Seungkwan puts a hand over his mouth in surprise.

Seungcheol shakes his head at Mingyu's actions, a smile still ghosting his lips, "Kim Mingyu, I guess that's what love does to you," He jokes while Soonyoung walks past to still inform the crew.

"Y/n!" You groan, opening your eyes and coming to your senses. There's sunlight directly on your eyes, making you squint your eyes.

"What? Oh my god," You yell, before realizing that you had fallen asleep, on a floatie. You sit up and see that you were far from the yacht.

Among the big gap of water from the boat, you spot someone close and swimming to you.

Mingyu's life jacket prevents him from drowning, and he swims to reach your floatie.

"Mingyu? Why are we so far from the boat?"

"Hey, it's okay, here," he hands you a spare life jacket that he took with him, which makes him thankful to bring because you weren't wearing one.

Mingyu holds onto your floatie while you place the life jacket on.

"So, are we swimming back to the boat or," you smile slightly, feeling embarrassed that this situation happened.

"I think the boat is coming closer, then we can go swim to it," Mingyu explains, watching how your friends had started to leave the ocean waters and a few were staring at all of you from the edge of the boat.

"Thanks," You say quietly, still sitting on top of the floatie. Mingyu remains in the water, running a hand through his hair.

"Be more careful next time, what if Seungcheol and Jisoo didn't realize you went missing? What if something serious happened to you?"

You remain quiet at Mingyu's lecture, staring down at your fingers.

"I'm sorry, I was just so tired that I fell asleep on the floatie." Before Mingyu can answer, you hear the yacht coming closer to you two.

"Guys, swim over now. You can leave the floatie there!" Jeonghan yells from the edge of the boat.

You laugh at him, before sending Mingyu a smile and swimming back with him.

"The menu looks so cute," Seokmin says loudly, passing on the extra menu pamphlets down the row.

It was time for dinner, at a nearby seafood restaurant.

"I can't read what it says," Junhui says from in front of you, handing Mingyu a menu next to him.

Hansol and Soonyoung sit on either side of you and you receive a menu too.

"What food do you want?" You ask Junhui, trying to read the menu. The menu is filled with Italian, hence why it would be difficult for someone to order.

"I want a lobster with butter," Junhui answers, and you look down the menu for anything that seems to match what he wants.

"I want grilled lobster, too." You say out loud, closing the menu because you can't find the lobster selection on the menu.

"We should just ask," Mingyu suggests, placing his menu down.

"Do you guys have lobster?" Mingyu asks the nice waitress, "Grilled lobster?"

The woman looks confused, answering "We have pasta,"

Hansol, Soonyoung, Junhui, and you burst out laughing at the conversation going on.

"Pasta?" Mingyu repeats what she said, "Yes," the waitress replies.

Mingyu holds out his hands, imitating lobster claws, "No, lobster,"

Again, you and Hansol laugh at his actions, and you realize how determined Mingyu looks to help you and Junhui out.

The waitress seems to understand what Mingyu asks, nodding her head with a smile, "Oh, lobster, okay."

From next to you, Soonyoung decides to joke around, "We are superstar," he adds, "He is popstar,"

You and Hansol stop mid-laugh, trying to shush Soonyoung so that he won't expose the group's identities.

"Grazi" [Thanks] Hansol says when he receives his seafood pasta.

You stare down at the table, as your food hasn't arrived yet, trying to see what your friends ordered.

The waitress places a plate of oysters on the table for your group and Soonyoung immediately digs in to eat.

Eventually, all of your food arrives, including yours and Junhui's grilled lobster with butter, and Seokmin decides to hold a toast.

"Everyone, salute!" [Cheers]

"I'm so full," you hear Seungcheol pat his stomach after walking out of the seafood restaurant. The sky above is a canvas of deep blues and purples, as the sun has just set, casting a glow over the streets of Port di Marlee.

"We should stroll around before going back on the bus," Jeonghan suggests, and everyone agrees.

The group splits into three, all walking down the cobblestone streets which are bathed in the soft light of street lamps. The air is filled with the scent of the sea and distant music from street performers.

As you walk, you find yourself in a group with Mingyu, Jihoon, Junhui, and Jisoo. The streets are quieter now with fewer tourists, making the area peaceful.

"I'm kind of craving gelato," Junhui says suddenly, his eyes lighting up at the sight of a small gelato stand up ahead.

"Let's get some," Jisoo agrees, leading the way. The stand is quaint, set up on the street with colorful displays of gelato flavors visible through the glass counter. The ground beneath is paved with grey tiles, worn smooth by years of footsteps.

Jihoon, Junhui, and Jisoo step up to order first. They chat with the vendor, a man with a thick Italian accent. You and Mingyu take a moment to decide on your flavors.

"What flavor would you like?" The owner asks you and Mingyu after your three friends have ordered their flavors.

"Can we get one mint chocolate and one vanilla?" you order for Mingyu and yourself and the owner nods, starting to scoop all five gelatos.

Mingyu looks at you, surprised. "You remember my favorite flavor?"

You nod with a smile, recalling the past, "Of course, do you not remember how many times we bought mint chocolate ice cream? I lost count."

The three overhear this exchange and share mischievous glances.

As soon as they get their gelato cones first Jisoo quickly pays for all five gelatos before the three run laughing down the street, leaving you and Mingyu behind just as the vendor starts scooping your orders.

You and Mingyu exchange amused looks but decide to ignore their antics, waiting patiently for your gelato cones. The man works efficiently, handing over your gelatos.

Mingyu takes the mint chocolate cone and hands you your vanilla one. "Here you go," he says with a smile.

"Thanks," you reply, savoring the creamy sweetness. After a moment, you look at him. "Do you want a bite?"

Mingyu's eyes light up. "Sure," he says, taking a small bite of your vanilla gelato. He then offers his cone to you, and you take a taste of the refreshing mint chocolate.

"Thanks for going out of your way to save me earlier," you say, genuinely grateful.

"It was nothing," Mingyu responds, but there's a softness in his voice. "Really, I couldn't just leave you out there."

"I really appreciate it," you insist, feeling the warmth of the moment. The two of you fall into a comfortable silence, walking side by side down the quiet street.

Mingyu wants to hold your hand but hesitates, remembering that you're not dating anymore. Still, the closeness feels right.

Meanwhile, Jihoon, Jisoo, and Junhui catch up with Soonyoung, Seungkwan, Chan, and Wonwoo, who are further up the street, sharing their gelatos and talking animatedly.

"Did you leave them behind?" Seungkwan asks with a grin, noticing that the three were out of breath.

"Yeah, we gave them some space," Jihoon replies, laughing.

"I wonder if they'll get back together," Chan muses, looking back down the street.

"I hope so," Junhui says, taking a big bite of his gelato. "They were so good together."

"I've never seen Mingyu swim that fast," Jisoo adds, shaking his head. "The moment Y/n started floating away, he was in the water like a rocket."

The group laughs, their voices blending with the distant music and the gentle lapping of the waves against the port.

As you and Mingyu continue your walk, sharing bites of each other's gelatos and exchanging quiet smiles, you can't help but wonder if he still has feelings for you, too.

8. YOU WILL FALL IN LOVE WITH YOUR EX, AGAIN

"Y/n! Drink up!" Your group of friends roars around you while you close your eyes in defeat.

"I didn't understand the game rules" you whine, but across from you, Soonyoung starts to pour you a shot. "Come on, that was a practice round!"

Nonetheless, the filled shot glass is placed in front of you on the wooden table.

It was the last night of the vacation and the group stayed in during the morning to pack their luggage for tomorrow's afternoon flight. Now, it was time for the traditional drinking night.

You take a deep breath, picking up the shot glass, preparing yourself to drink for the nth time tonight.

"Wait," a hand reaches out to grab the shot glass out of your grasp.

"Woah, is Kim Mingyu drinking for Y/n?" Seungcheol yells from the edge of the table. He and Seokmin get up from their seats to clap in excitement.

Without a reply, Mingyu gulps down the shot, finishing off with a big grin. You stare in shock at Mingyu, ignoring the choruses of teasing from your friends.

Mingyu smiles, feeling satisfied. "For her? Anytime."

"Simp," Jeonghan comments beside you, clapping his hands at the unexpected action.

"Okay, time for Jisoo's favorite game, game start!" Chan sings, moving on to another game.

Thankfully, the next game was one you were good at, so this time Jihoon lost.

"Okay, since you lost," Seungkwan points across to the Bluetooth karaoke machine placed in the backyard of the villa. "Sing us a song, please."

Jihoon laughs. "Any requests?" He stands up from his seat and makes his way to grab the microphone.

Seokmin yells from his spot, "Can you sing 'Don't Wanna Cry' please?"

Seungkwan nods, although Jihoon is busy turning on the machine and finding the song. "Yes, karaoke break!"

Everyone turns their head to watch Jihoon sing, and soon Seungkwan and Seokmin have joined Jihoon, all singing perfectly despite their drunk states.

"I'm going to go grab a glass of water," you announce to the table, rising to head inside the kitchen.

You have to admit, looking for a glass cup, or any new cup for that matter, is quite a quest, as it is placed in a random cabinet.

You hear a new voice while sliding the backdoor closed; it's Mingyu and Wonwoo singing "To You," and some of your friends recording the duo. You stand still in front of the sliding doors, deciding to quietly admire Mingyu's vocals.

"그대에게 그대에게 전해주고 싶은 이야기 그대에게 그대에게 말하고 싶어 이렇게 더 Oh, 소용돌이치는 바람 속에 영원한 사랑이 있다면 그건 당신이겠죠"

[In a swirling day You've given me a piece of happiness You've placed all of the smiles in the world in my hands So even if I run out of breath on a steep road Even when I lose my path during a cold day We're still holding hands with warmth]

You sober up, feeling as if someone had poured a bucket of ice over your head. The shock on your face isn't because the vocals are incredible while drunk; it's because Mingyu stared at you the entire time while singing.

"Wow, I caught that on video!" Minghao happily shares from the table.

He stares at his phone. "Wow, Mingyu, you're great at singing without the lyrics." He laughs but everyone else is silent, gazing between you and Mingyu.

"Um, I'm going to head to bed. We have a long flight tomorrow." You don't meet Mingyu's eyes and quickly walk by to grab your phone to go to bed.

The others break the awkward moment, complimenting the two before deciding to stop drinking and start a karaoke session instead.

"Who wants to sing with me?" Chan's question is the last thing you hear while you go upstairs.

You let out a breath, closing your eyes when you make it inside your room.

"So, what's your favorite song so far?" Mingyu asks, sitting next to you on the couch.

You were watching Mingyu record in Jihoon's studio for the new album, Attacca, since Mingyu had told you that there were great tracks for this comeback.

Your eyes light up, staring up at your boyfriend. "Definitely, 'To You'. I love the message of the song. It feels like someone singing to their lover."

Mingyu chuckles, staring at you in awe. "I'll always imagine I'm talking to you when I sing my lyrics," he admits before pressing a kiss on your forehead.

You smile widely. "I'm your person?"

Mingyu reaches out to hold you. "Yes, and you've placed all of the smiles in the world in my hands."

"Hey," Seungkwan opens your door, walks into your room, and sits on the edge of your bed.

"How do you feel?"

You place your head in your hands. "Seungkwan, it just hurts, you know? I came here and was reminded of my past relationship, but in reality, after the vacation ends, Mingyu and I will go back to being strangers."

Seungkwan frowns. He was internally thankful that the two of you didn't drink that much tonight.

"Would you consider confessing to him again?"

You stare at Seungkwan wide-eyed. "No! I can't. I think it's best if we leave whatever happened here, here. If we were to get back together, we may break up because of the same reason."

You wanted to give Mingyu and your relationship another try but remind yourself that Seventeen will have another comeback after this trip, and the reason you broke up with Mingyu was because he stopped putting in the effort, so you didn't want to go through that again.

"I don't know what to do," you feel overwhelmed, tears welling up in your eyes. Seungkwan grabs a box of napkins from the bathroom counter and walks back to you, sitting closer.

"I just don't want to be hurt again, Seungkwan."

Seungkwan sighs while handing you napkins. "Listen, I really want you to talk to him. But if you don't want to, we can always just go back home tonight."

You take a shaky breath. "Tonight?"

Seungkwan shrugs. "You packed, right? We're both pretty sober, so let's tell Jeonghan and buy some tickets back home. You don't have to see him if you can't face him right now."

You nod slowly. "I think that's what I need. I know I'm running from this, but I really don't know how to act in front of him anymore. I want to get back together so bad, but at the same time I know our relationship won't work out."

Seungkwan understands. "Okay, I'll tell Jeonghan. You book the tickets right now. We can call a cab and go back to the airport."

Seungkwan gives you comforting pats on the back. "Just promise me, in the future, if Mingyu were to ever try and make it work, you will accept it."

You stare up at Seungkwan, laughing while tears roll down your cheeks. "Oh, Seungkwan, I know he won't... He's too busy to make the effort, but it was great to spend time with him again."

Seungkwan shakes his head. "No, promise me, please."

You nod. "Okay, I promise. Now go tell Jeonghan while I book us tickets."

Seungkwan gives you a supportive squeeze on your shoulder before heading out to find Jeonghan, leaving you alone with your thoughts as you quickly search for flights on your phone.

It was déjà vu.

"Please, Y/n, okay this time Mingyu's there, obviously, but can you please come?" Soonyoung begs with pleading eyes.

His voice is loud enough for nearby tables to stare at, so you shush him to lower his voice.

"I agree," Seungkwan says, assembling rice on lettuce. "You haven't attended our concerts in so long!"

"It's our first concert for the tour after our comeback!" Seokmin adds. "Don't you want to support your best friends?"

You shake your head at their eagerness. "God, this is peer pressure."

"You're coming, and it's final," Seungkwan concludes, waving you off so you agree.

"Fine, one concert." You decide it couldn't hurt.

"But," you raise your finger, "I don't want anyone to know I'm there, especially Mingyu."

Seokmin looks at you confused. "Why Mingyu?"

You didn't want to admit that you couldn't face Mingyu. Since the vacation, your buried feelings had opened up, but you knew everything would return to the way it was after the trip.

It was too much to expect anything to change after a week.

"To be honest, I hoped something would happen for you and Mingyu after the vacation," Soonyoung says. "I haven't seen him be himself, cheerful, until I saw him on the vacation, always smiling when he was near you."

You grow annoyed. "Guys, it's not that simple. We broke up because he was too busy and we both stopped putting in the effort. What changed?"

"He's changed. You know, eight months is enough for someone to change," Soonyoung insists.

Seokmin stares between you and Soonyoung, making sure he's not stepping over any boundaries. "We watched you both after the breakup. But we can assure you Mingyu's changed. Just talk to him once about it, instead of thinking of the 'what ifs'. That's all we ask."

Soonyoung takes your shot glass from your hold, gulping that down, too.

Later, Seokmin and Soonyoung excuse themselves to the bathroom, leaving you and Seungkwan at the table.

Seungkwan turns to you, his voice gentle. "Y/n, you owe me one, remember?"

You nod, curious about what he wants.

"Come to our concert," he says softly. "I know it's hard, but you owe me, and I think it will help."

"Seungkwan, I don't know if I can face Mingyu, not when I know I'm still in love with him," you admit.

"I know, but I also know that if you show up, Mingyu will try to make things right between you two. Just think about it, okay?"

You take a deep breath, contemplating his words. When Soonyoung and Seokmin return to the table, you make your decision.

"Fine, I'll go," you say, looking at them. "But I'm going to support you guys, not for Mingyu."

"Here's the VIP pass, by the way," Soonyoung pulls out a single pass from Seungkwan's bag pocket, sliding it across the table.

"How did you even know I would agree?"

9. YOUR EX WILL STILL IN LOVE WITH YOU, TOO

The concert was about to start and you were heading to the VIP seats with Seungcheol because he wasn't performing due to his injury. Seungcheol was walking with you, chatting about the upcoming performance.

Suddenly, Mingyu runs over from behind, yelling your name, a look of urgency on his face.

"Y/n, can we talk for a moment?" he asks, breathless.

Seungcheol nods, understanding the situation. "Go ahead, Y/n. We'll catch up later."

Mingyu takes your hand and leads you to a quieter area down the hallway.

"Y/n, you left the vacation early before I had a chance to talk to you on the last day," he begins, his voice trembling slightly. "I've been thinking a lot lately, and I realized how much I miss you. I miss us.”

Your heart skips a beat as you listen to his words.

"Mingyu, how will we work? You’re still so busy…" you start, remembering the reason the two of you broke up in the past.

"Please, Y/n, I will change, I have, and I will put in more effort into our relationship," he pleads, his eyes searching yours.

You feel a rush of emotions flood over you, memories of your time together flashing through your mind.

"I don't know, Mingyu," you say softly, torn between your heart and your head.

Mingyu takes a step closer to you, his gaze intense. "I understand if you need time to think about it. But just know that I'm willing to do whatever it takes."

Before you can respond, Mingyu presses a gentle kiss to your cheek, sending a jolt of electricity through your body.

"I have to go," he says reluctantly, pulling away. "The concert is starting soon. But I'll talk to you after, okay?"

You nod, feeling a mix of emotions swirling inside you.

Mingyu gives your hand a reassuring squeeze before letting go and heading off towards the stage.

As the concert approached its climax, the energy in the arena surged, filling the air with excitement and anticipation. You stood beside Seungcheol in the VIP section, caught up in the electrifying atmosphere of the event. The pounding bass reverberated through the stadium, matching the rhythm of your racing heart.

But amidst the exhilaration of the concert, your mind drifted back to the hallway encounter with Mingyu. His heartfelt confession lingered in your thoughts, leaving you torn between the past and the present.

"Y/n," Seungcheol suddenly began, his voice carrying a weight of solemnity. "I wasn’t going to interfere but after seeing two of my close friends hurting, I need to tell you something."

Your eyes are on him, waiting for his next words.

Taking a deep breath, Seungcheol continues, "After the breakup, I saw Mingyu at his lowest point. He wasn't himself during our comeback, but in Italy, he was different. Happier. And... I was the one who told him that you were coming. He dropped the fashion show, even though it wasn't canceled, and told Jeonghan to book his ticket."

With Seungcheol's secret laid bare before you, you felt a surge of emotions wash over you. Mingyu's heartfelt confession before echoed in your mind and you realized that despite the pain of the past, he was truly making efforts for your relationship.

“He did that for me?” You ask, and Seungcheol nods, staring down at his twelve friends on stage.

"Y/n," You suddenly hear from the stage, it is Mingyu's voice. The crowd quiets down, sensing the situation.

"Will you come back to me now?"

The question hangs in the air, suspend between you and Mingyu as the stadium erupts into cheers.

The jumbotron focuses on you and Seungcheol, trying to capture your answer to his question.

At that moment, surrounded by the energy of the crowd and the pulsing rhythm of the music, you knew what your answer was.

With a nod and a resounding "Yes!" that echoed through the arena, you made your decision.

As the notes for 'Aju Nice' fill the air, you feel a sense of happiness wash over you, knowing that you are finally back with Mingyu again.

The crowd erupted into cheers once more, their excitement echoing off the walls of the stadium.

Seungcheol is beside you, a knowing look in his eyes.

"I knew you two would find eventually your way back together," he says with a smile, both of you staring at Mingyu who jumps around with Seungkwan, Soonyoung, and Seokmin on the stage happily.

As you settle into your seat, surrounded by the sounds of the crowd and the anticipation of the performance, you can't help but wonder what would have happened if Mingyu had never gone to Italy. But for now, you're content to enjoy the music and the company of your friends, knowing that you have Mingyu, again.

10. YOU WILL GO BACK TO YOUR EX

new title: ten reasons to avoid go to italy.

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