Cookie kisses - Kaveh & Al Haitham
"Why did you order the chocolate chips like that? "
"Because it makes a heart :) "
"Awww y/n"
"I don't see it"
".. "
"What? "
M!reader x Al Haitham x Kaveh
Poly relationship, established relationship, he/they pronouns for reader and the characters. Use of pet names
Ooc Kaveh (I hc him as a lover for baking) because he hasn't been released by the time this posted.
This is my first time writing a polyamourous relationship as someone who isn't polyamourous, so I do apologize in advance if its not as good! (Feedback would be appreciated)
"Darrrling? We're hooommmeee! "
You heard the calling in the distance, as you stood in the kitchen mixing ingredients into a medium bowl.
Pausing your mixing, you walked over to greet the two men at the door who were taking off their shoes. A few bags were piled in the side.
"Welcome home dear" you greeted, hugging the blond who hugged you back, tightly. His smile becoming big.
Pulling away, you hugged Al Haitham who reciprocated it. Though not tightly as the blond, it was a firm and warm hug.
"What did you guys get? The bags look so full"
"Ah! The vendors had some deals on some of the foods, and even some decoration were on sale" Kaveh started.
"There were some good paintings, although Al Haitham didn't quite like it"
"That's because I didn't like the style" the grey haired man said, carrying a few bags containing food to the kitchen area.
"You have no taste in design! "
Chuckling a bit, you took a few bags while kaveh carried the rest, and headed over to the kitchen where Al Haitham was, while the other went to another room to put some decor away for later.
"I see you made yourself busy whilst were out" Al Haitham says, looking at the ingredients lined neatly next to each other, and the bowl that contained most.
"Mhm! I wanted to bake some cookies for you two so when you guys got back you'd have some warm cookies to snack on" you explained, crouching down to put the tomatoes and chilis in the bottom drawer of the fridge.
"But it seems you guys got back earlier than expected" you added, putting the last few items before closing the fridge.
"Would you like some help? " he asks, watching you come back up and closing the fridge door.
"I'd like that"
"Alright, now we need some brown and white sugar"
"This is, quite a lot of sugar. And were also supposed to add chocolate? " he asks, looking at the cook book.
"Yup! "
"Isn't that too much sweetness? " he looks up at you, to see your figure trying to find sugar in the cabinet.
"Mhm, depending on the amount your making you add more or less sugar" you explain.
"Or like some people, they tend to put more or less than the instructions to have it their desired taste" you added, moving your body to go deeper in finding the sugar.
"I see"
"Bubs have you seen the sugar? I can't find it"
"Shouldn't it be in the cabinet above? "
"I checked and it's not there"
The moment those words fell out of your mouth, the book was set aside and his hands were now on your waist. Pulling you down.
"I'll find it"
After a few minutes, Al Haitham grabbed both bags of sugar, that were hiding behind some bags of pasta noodles, and jars of sauces still unopened, but not expired.
"Thank you! Now we can continue"
"Alright I'm back you tw-"
The blond stopped as he watched his two lovers baking together, happily enjoying the silence as they didn't hear Kavehs voice.
"Now some butte-"
"Your baking!? "
The two of you turned around to see your lovely architect shocked, a hand on his chest, making it look dramatic.
"Mhm! We're making cookies" you said, giving him a lovely smile.
"Something wrong? "
"Y-your baking... WITHOUT ME!? " He says dramatically.
"Ugh I feel so betrayed! You both know how much I like baking! " kaveh started.
"Well maybe if you didn't take so long decorating you could've been here" Al Haitham said, still folding in the mixture.
"Ill have you know I was FIXING your horrid designs! Making sure every painting wasn't so crooked, what if someone visits and sees your style in framing!?"
"Well whod be visiting? I don't see your friends, not like you'd have many"
"EXCUSE ME!? "
"Here we go again.. " you thought, watching the two argue for 80th time over something little.
"Guys- Kaveh were still not finished, we decided to make a second batch for a few of our friends so if you want, you can still join" you said, hoping that can stop the two arguing.
Though you wanted to make some for the three of you, you also thought about your friends, Tighnari, Collei, Cyno, Candace, Deyha and Nilou. As they do like your baking a lot, and you haven't seen them often you thought it might be a good thing to make more to have a chance to visit and catch up on things.
"Ah! Alright then let's not waste any time"
"Ah they came out perfect! " you exclaimed, looking at the big batch of cookies you three made.
"Of course they came out perfect" Kaveh said, "becaus-"
"Nows not the time" Al Haitham said, shoving a cookie into the blonds mouth.
"Haah! Haot!"
"You'll be fine" the grey hair man says, before looking at you who carefully put two cookies on a plate.
"Ta da! Look aren't they cute? " you asked, showing al Haitham the cookies you designed.
"Hmm" he looked down at the two cookies, seeing that one out of the two had more chocolate, and the other had less, but more design put in.
"Why did you order the chocolate chips like that? "
"Because it makes a heart"
"Awwngh " Kaveh says, his words slurred due to his tongue burned by the cookie al Haitham shoved in his mouth.
"I don't see it"
"... "
"What? "
Please do not repost my work on any other platform, likes and reblogs are appreciated<3
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good looking boy
pairing, kurtis “kurt” kunkle x reader
summary, general n’ relationship headcanons abt kurt that i wrote in the shower cause i get to do what i want
word count, 2.1k
byr, i got a new new job cause sitting on my ass doesn’t pay the netflix subscriptions, so excuse my absence for the past couple of days. PLEAAAAASSEEE IVE BEEN ADJUSTING LET ME LIVE
ill totally answer some asks asap cause i love you sm and i totally wanna write what yall wanna read, just give me a couple of years seconds :)
also i havent watched spree in a good minute and i didnt feel like rewatching it so if mr kunkle is ooc ignore it
(p.s. i wrote this while eating drinking? chocolate vanilla mixed pudding out of a straw. you’re welcome for that information.)
warnings, fluff and nsfw content but no actual smut, swearing, car sex, oral sex (m and f receiving), cockwarming, dry humping, overstimulation, dacryphilia, mentions of murder, one mention of a breeding kink, one mention of pregnancy, one mention of cutting (not sh & very consensual!), one mention of emotional manipulation, kurt being icky wicky but still a cutie
sfw
im kinda shocked that ppl still love kurt but like ME TOO
i cannot stress the fact that kurt is a stalky perv at first enough. the first time you get in his car he instantly saves the footage and uses it for extra curricular activities.
he's genuinely willing to follow you around in his spree. he’ll wait outside for hours in front of any building you go to. the other passengers can wait, right?
he’d totally plug his socials in his regular socially awkward way, but stutters more than usual while he does it. (boooo. tomato tomato tomato tomato.)
along with shoving his socials down your throat, he’ll ask for yours back. even if you don’t give it to him, he’ll find it. he’d know practically everything about you after your first meeting. he has your address, where you go to work/school, what your third favorite meal is, how you did your hair in 2nd grade, etc.
totally tries to flirt with you and miserably fails to the point where it makes you physically cringe multiple times. he probably searched up how to flirt on wikihow a couple minutes before he picked you up.
let's be real here. kurt smells like pennies and bacon grease with the teeny tiniest bit of vape juice and dollar store body spray. his car always smells good, though.
after your first couple of drives, he gets the courage to finally ask you to go out with him. not without stuttering to all hell and having a camera somewhere, of course. it’s quality content for the kurties!
once you say yes and get through the little pre-dating stage, this pervy bitch is the cutest, nastiest, most loveable motherfucker you’ll ever see. buckle up mf
our favorite boy has the same amount of game that a middle school boy would have. you could be years into your relationship and he would still say stuff like “are you lightning? cause’ you could be my queen.”
his viewers don’t believe he has a girlfriend at all. you really gotta make sure to tell them you aren’t kidnapped or being forced to be in a relationship with him.
brings you everywhere with him, no matter what. he might leave you back in his room when hes filming #TheLesson, but if you wanted to tag along he wouldn’t mind having you there.
he gets sick really easily cause his immune system isn’t immune to dog shit. i swear he’ll be fine one day then sneeze his ass off the next.
calls you the most random damn nicknames you’ll ever see. he’d definitely call you shit like “my little soda pop gummy bear” or “the barbecue to my chili” along with the normal baby and sweetheart stuff. (I SAW A HC THAT HE CALLS YOU HIS FAV KURTIE ONCE AND OMFG IT AIN'T TRUE)
please call him pretty. call him anything, for that matter. if its coming from your mouth, he’d love it. call him trash for all he cares, he’d be your trash anyday (same you lil hottie) <3
im gonna assume he's constantly on tiktok along with every other platform he could possibly be on 24/7. his screen time is a lil too high (same) but what did you expect. on top of that, his volume is constantly on 100 and he doesn’t like wearing headphones, so good luck with that.
kurt is always cold. his body is simply built differently. so instead of you putting your hands under his shirt, he’d put his under yours. (and would totally be offended and take it to heart if you don't want his icicle hands on you.)
the absolute biggest attention whore ive ever seen. cuddling, hugs, hand holds, kisses, etc. 24/7. literally he’s fine with just being in your presence all day. wha- what do you mean you wanna run errands? who the fuck needs your time when kurie needs it more?
although hes an attention whore, kurt also needs his space and alone time. when he leaves, he leaves for a reason. don’t follow him out, don’t pester him when he gets back. unless you really wanna see why he loves “fuck, marry, kill.” so much. (goofy ahh threat)
you best believe most of the lovey dovey things in your relationship are gonna be streamed and recorded. not absolutely everything but enough to have a couples tiktok account together.
most definitely drops an L bomb during the first couple of weeks. he’s never had someone like you, and he doesn’t wanna let you go either. not that he’d actually let you go, anyway.
very whiny. like he's an actual man child, especially when he’s denied anything. (flashbacks to when you told him he couldn’t stream you doing random shit throughout your day.)
this bitch CANNOT see and i'll stand by that with my life. kurtie wears contacts. once in every blue moon he’ll actually let you see him with his chunky framed glasses on, but don’t post any pictures of him with them. he has a reputation to uphold, y/n!
he forgets to take care of himself all the time. shove him into a good steamy shower and get him to eat something other than a lunchable and can of off brand pepsi.
him getting up to lock his door after his mom walks in on you cuddling for the first time. he probably gets a padlock and a door stopper just to make sure it doesn’t happen again. (giving two middle school kids)
probably has a shrine of things he stole you gave him for whenever you're not there. it’s filled with everything from stuffed animals, to polaroid pictures of you sleeping. you don’t know about it and he’ll probably never tell you where it is.
not only does he giggle while he laughs, the mf snorts and clutches his stomach for dear life. it looks like his entire body is going through a stage 4 earthquake.
gets into fierce arguments with the 12 year olds he plays with. im talking full screaming matches at ungodly hours of the night. (morning? morning. no it’s night- WAIT-)
“NO YOU’RE ACTUALLY DOGSHIT BRO! YOU LITERALLY DIED BEFORE ME-“
“kurtis. if you yell into that damn mic one more damn time–“
i wouldn’t say he’s incredibly toxic, but kurt can damn well manipulate any situation that he wanted. it’s a common tactic he’s used since he was a kid, and that wont change when it comes to you.
he has a cracked ass phone screen. literally pieces of glass are missing and he thinks it’s completely normal. please get him a screen protector asap
kicks his feet when he lays on his stomach. y'all cannot tell me he doesn't cause i won't listen whatsoever
please tell him to shut the hell up about his damn sub count. genuinely the amount of times he brings up views and likes during the day instead of regular human conversations is concerning. (THERAPY YOUR HONOR THERAPPYYY)
nsfw
kurt is a virgin. you know this, his passengers know this, everybody knows kurtie gets absolutely NO bitches. zero. zilch. damsels? non existent for him.
he’s never had anybody as intimate as you before you came around, so he's instantly hooked after your first kiss together.
loud. super loud. volume at 110% typa loud. i just cannot picture him being quiet whatsoever. he has to moan/whine/whimper, so on and so forth.
him being extremely verbal isn’t always subjected to sexual situations, either. you could give him a quick squeeze on the shoulder and he’d groan super loud over the fact that your hands were on him.
if you're into it, he’s obviously gonna film it. y’know how famous he could get from a sextape, y/n? followers galore. he’d never actually share you though. they can look but they can’t touch.
kurtie likes boobies, but he also likes thighs. he wouldn’t say no to a fat ass, yet tummies are so appealing to him- he likes everything. just the fact that you’re his and he can actually touch any part of you is good for him.
cries when he cums. actually sobs. legitimately starts weeping. is the definition of ‘crying a river.’ its even better when he's overstimulated. (i just want one piece sir)
anotha one of those mfs that loves the idea of breeding, but would absolutely panic if he actually managed to get you pregnant. but then again, he could make a family channel! just think about the views it would rack up–
okay so kurt obviously isn’t the biggest dicked bitch in the neighborhood, but when he learns how to actually use what he’s got the sex is immaculate. jaw dropping, toe curling, has you smiling n giggling at the dinner table typa good.
stop drop and roll, halt, and pause cause imagine cockwarming him in his gaming chair until it’s eventually too much for him to handle, him putting his headset on you and giving you a severe case of wobbly legs.
could and will kill for you without an issue. he’s a scrawny little piece of shit, but man is he strong. mentally and physically. anybody you want, he’d find them for you. would probably also come home covered in blood and wanna give you a hug or some shit. (ew, kurtis.)
bucks his hips into your mouth while you give him head. at first it was an accident, then he realised what he was doing. he totally could stop it but the sounds of you gagging around him make him feel proud of himself.
i feel like he’d like having some music on during sex, but he’ll turn it of midway in the session cause he wants to hear every single sound you make. he can tell how much you’re enjoying it that way.
kurt has totally jacked off while you were in the same room. he especially likes to do it while you're napping in his bed. i
don’t know why, he doesn’t know why, he just likes to do it.
grips on any and everything in sight and doesn't let go. seriously, you gotta pry him off of you before his nails start digging too hard.
he blows condom balloons. you cannot look me in the eyes tell me kurtis kunkle hasn’t drawn a face on a blown up condom and given it to a person in his spree
he humps you like an actual bitch in heat. like you could be chill as hell on a random sunday evening and BAM the white man pounces and he’s rutting against you like his damn life depends on it.
he’s probably watched enough porn to know what a little bit of aftercare is, but was super awkward about it the first time. literally grabbed your sweaty body and gave you a side hug with a special high five.
as much as i'd love to say kurtie is a certified bottom, he could totally dom whenever he wanted to. basically switches as quickly as he did when he told jessie she wasn’t going back to her home anytime soon.
let's sit up here and be honest. if kurt is eating you out it isn’t for you, its for him. he takes pleasure in stuffing his face between your legs for hours on end. he tries to inconspicuously rut against the bed, but we all know what he’s doing.
imagine flirting with somebody in his spree as a joke, and him being dangerously silent about it until they get out of the car. if you could get a noise complaint from a vehicle, you’re getting one that day.
literally do anything to him. he’s fine with it. you wanna choke him? sure! you wanna cut him? only if you use the hello kitty blade. you wanna bite him? he's offering several limbs in your direction.
kurtie babe starts babbling when he gets close enough to cumming, especially when he decides to be talkative. it’ll turn from stable dirty talk to incoherent slurred words.
when he eventually learns that an awkwardly sweaty side hug doesn’t fit as aftercare, he asks you what you’d like him to do for you. he’s officially maid kurt when it comes down to taking care of your needs.
the bath is ready, with your salts and bath bombs of choice, as well as the tower of bubbles that’ll take forever to go away. a pair of matching onesies and fuzzy socks are ready for both of you to slip into when you’re done soaking.
he falls asleep pretty quick, but he’ll try to stay up most of the time. one time he got into the tub before you and knocked out to the point where he didn’t know where he was when he woke up.
wsp baby dicks and mama chicks :)
man oh man i havent been able to write anything in forever i was so sad abt it
idk if people still read abt kurt but i personally do and ill read my own shit if i have to
idk what else to put here except for the fact that likes n reblogs are appreciated and my nose is really cold and tysm for reading you hottie mctotties
- cora, the stressed out mother of 5 dog babies
© dobiemart 2022
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