#*deep sigh* I don’t know how many more 2 a.m hysterical fits over hating my art I’ve got in me chief

[myname-isnia]

*through gritted teeth, rocking back and forth* Being bad at art isn’t a moral failing. You’re not bad you’re learning. It’s okay if you’ve been drawing almost daily for four years and aren’t at the level you want to be. Look back and see how much you’ve improved. Do studies. Practise areas you’re bad at. Stop drawing only the same characters chest up in 3/4 profile view. Step out of your comfort zone. Look at tutorials. Use references. Study anatomy and colour theory and how light and shadow work. Stop making yourself upset over it. Stop hating yourself for not being good enough. Stop comparing yourself to others and getting angry over how they’re better than you. Learn to have fun while drawing. Art is supposed to be fun. Why would you do it if it’s wasn’t fun? Stop crying.

#*deep sigh* I don’t know how many more 2 a.m hysterical fits over hating my art I’ve got in me chief #I don’t know why I’m like this #usually I explain my behaviour by blaming it on childhood trauma #but my art wasn’t a trauma point #as in. I just never really showed it to my parents so they couldn’t say bad things about it even if they wanted to #well… there were those art classes with that one girl whoshe mom wouldn’t shut up about how great she was #and my mom spent tons of time with her so if I complained I’d just be compared to the girl #actually… I was so much more confident in my art before those classes #like I look back at what I posted pre April 2022 and I had absolutely no shame #wonky anatomy? post it anyway. extremely amateur colour and shading and backgrounds? who cares #and no one in those classes was mean to me #everyone was so nice and supporting #but the very first time I was brought there was when I realised that I am objectively bad at art #and don’t understand the fundamentals and am only good at drawing the same thing over and over again #I was so close to crying that day #and I kept going back and it kept getting worse #holy fuck… #I enjoyed those classes a lot #even though I was having breakdowns left and right I was mostly satisfied with the end results #(yeah because the teachers usually ended up finishing everything for you ты рукожопая бездарная тварь) #but I guess that is where my problems started #god.. I wish I never went to those now #maybe I wouldn’t be like this #maybe I’d act even half well adjusted rather than sobbing into my pilllow every time my #(no reference no practice no knowledge of anatomy colour or shading) #drawing turns out less than perfect #good fucking god how pathetic can I get #and this is like the 10th time I’m making long ass tag rant posts about the same issue #and since writing them did I attempt to fix it? practise and study and improve? no. I just keep crying #like a little whiny bitch