#1500 follower deleted scenes fest

[recurring-polynya]

BROTHER IN ARMS PLEAAAAASE (and congratulations!!💖)

I have three scraps from the waste bin from my ChadIshi magnum opus. They are short, but charming, so you can have all of them.

The first two bits were from the beginning section where Uryuu was summing up everything that had happened since the end of the war and being salty that no one was sufficiently mad at him:

Even worse, though, was that it seemed like everyone was being extra nice to him. There was milk bread in his bi-weekly bread delivery, which he knew Orihime must be saving for him, because milk bread was the most popular item at ABCookies and it was very rare for it to be leftover at the end of the day.

and

That pair of gangly, adolescent shinigami that were now responsible for Rukia’s old beat dropped off an envelope one day, which Uryuu at first suspected might be some sort of formal, permanent banishment from Soul Society, but it turned out to be from Abarai of all people. It was a copy of some sort of official press release from the Kuchiki family. Uryuu had to read through the flowery, old-fashioned language three times before he realized it was announcing that the First Daughter of the Kuchiki, Kuchiki Rukia, Officially Had a Boyfriend. There was a picture at the bottom of Abarai and Kuchiki in extremely fancy outfits, wearing grim facial expressions. The serious effect was utterly ruined by the fact that Abarai had scrawled “APPROVED, BABY!!” underneath it.

The third bit was later on, when Uryuu and Chad were riding the train:

Uryuu contemplated the book in his lap. He checked the time. “It looks like we’re about halfway there. Do you want a snack? I brought a snack.”  “I did, too.” They both took a minute to dig through their backpacks. “I have carrot sticks, sliced apples, pickled plums, and almond fish,” Uryuu announced, opening his carefully packed bento. “I have Hello Panda and Takis,” Chad pulled out a box of pink bear-shaped cookies and a bag of vibrantly red corn chips.  Uryuu eyed Chad suspiciously. “How did you build so much muscle, eating like that?” “We’re on a trip. You don’t need to eat healthy on a trip.” He contemplated Uryuu’s apple slices. “Do you want to share?” Uryuu eyed Chad’s pile of carbohydrates. It looked like it contained a lot of artificial colors. Uryuu had been raised to minimize his intake of artificial colors. “I have never even heard of Takis, what are they?” “They’re spicy. Do you like spicy things?” “Sometimes.” “They’re very popular back in Mexico. Orihime likes them with ice cream. They’re too spicy for Ichigo.” Uryuu’s eyebrows drew together. “Give me one to try.”

#1500 follower deleted scenes fest #this story was so peaceful and pleasant to write #one of my all-time nicest writing experiences #wish i would ever have more chadishi ideas so i could recreate the experience but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ #me sticking renruki scenes in fanfics that do not need renruki scenes #and then hitting myself with a rolled-up newspaper until i take them out again #the true polynya writing experience #lol at ishida only agreeing to eat the takis b/c ichigo can't handle them

[recurring-polynya]

Hey hey heyyyyyy so it finally happened:

1500 is not a real number. It is a made-up number. A lie that Tumblr tells me to keep me logging on. There is no way that I have 1500 actual human followers. tbf, I am quite sure that at least some of them are bots or dead accounts or whatever. It doesn't matter, Tumblr showed me a big round number, and I feel like I should do something nice for you, my beloved followers, but I'm also kinda overstretched rn, so here it is:

✨1500 Follower Celebration: Junk I Found in my Garage Edition✨

Here's how it's going to work:

I have written a lot of fanfic. Not all of it has seen the light of day. Below is a list of fanfics that I have at least one deleted scene from that's not too terrible. From now until I get tired of doing it, send me an ask with which one you want to see, and I'll post it. If I get repeat requests, I'll post an additional scene, until I run out. Just so you know, some of these scenes are short. Some of them cut off unexpectedly. Many of them are minor variations on scenes that ended up in the final product. The fact is, they all ended up on the chopping block and in a lot of cases, it was for good reason. Regardless, I thought this would be kinda fun and maybe you think so, too! We'll see!

Your options, in the order I wrote them:

One Final Training Montage (oh god there are nearly as much deleted scenes as fanfic and they are Not Good. I did not know what I was doing when I wrote this.)

A Supposedly Fun Thing We'll Never Do Again (1 tiny one but it's funny)

Hold On, Hold On (one whole-ass entire alternate ending that got replaced for a reason and one shorty short one)

Between Tides (I have 28k worth of deleted scenes, but it's mostly 7 only-slightly-different versions of the confession scene and an entirely different Tomoe/Takeru backstory?? Most of them are Not Good)

Portions for Foxes

Call Me Back When the War is Over

There is No Bankai in Football (Nothing can prepare your for this. I was not prepared, and I wrote it.)

Blessings and Curses

Brothers in Arms

What We Do with our Hearts

I am feeling generous, so as a bonus, I will also allow a few requests for preview scenes from my two Big WIPs that I am not working on right now:

Make this Leap (Soul Society Tattoo Artist AU, but it's the part where they meet as teens)

a little in love, act iv

That's it! Feel free to be specific in your requests, if you want! Thank you for being my followers! I love you!

#1500 follower deleted scenes fest #might also fuck around and reblog some of my horrible posts from 2019 #you know. abarai_renji_My_Favorite_Squad_final_FINAL.ppt and Memos from Byakuya. the classics. #as usual: god i hope i don't end up regretting this

[recurring-polynya]

I had been thinking about it as a WIP, and I completely forgot how many deleted scenes I had from a little in love, now and then, acts i-iii

To make up for it, here's two versions (because of I couldn't decide between them) of prime ByaHisa banter from back when I was trying to decide (by writing every possible permutation, apparently) how much of Renji Hisana had already gotten figured out, and also of how much Hisana should pull Byakuya into her confidence. I think the final version I settled on did the best job of moving the story along in the way I wanted, but these are awfully fun and I'm a little sorry I had to trash them.

🌸 💮 🪷

version 1

Hisana shot him a sly look back. “It’s very pleasant to have a handsome young man fall in love with you,” she retorted. “I seem to remember someone trying to convince me of that, when he suggested that I leave my home and vocation to come do…” she waved her hand dismissively, “whatever it is I do around here.”

“I was a duplicitous youth, as we both know.” Byakuya considered his adjutant, who seemed much more relaxed to be walking with Rukia than… well, than Byakuya had ever seen the man. “You know I find our Rukia to be a young lady of utmost warmth and grace, but what leads you to believe Abarai has been felled by her many charms?”

“I only invited him over because I was testing a hypothesis,” Hisana explained, slipping her arm through Byakuya’s fondly. “And the evidence seemed to support my theory.”

“You’ve only met him a handful of times yourself,” Byakuya frowned. “What made you suspect an attachment? Do I need to give him a lecture on proper comportment during business hours?”

“Oh, no, he comports himself with perfect Sixth Division propriety, although it always cheers you up to deliver a good solid lecture on office etiquette.” Hisana paused to admire a particularly blue hydrangea. “I became very curious, you see, after you told me he agreed to that hare-brained scheme of yours to disrupt Rukia’s execution. A young man a mere month into his post as vice-captain would only have two reasons to do so, in my thinking, and I wished to know which it was.”

“Duty? Loyalty? Admiration of his wise and respected commanding officer? Is it not obvious?”

Hisana raised one well-sculpted eyebrow. “That was possibility number one. And, your incredible modesty aside, it seemed the most likely. I seem to recall you telling me he had seemed very… eager in his job application.”

“Vice-Captaincy of the Sixth is traditionally inherited. It was a rare opportunity that the position happened to be publicly advertised. Can I fault him for being rational? Not that I have seen any evidence of it, since.”

“Ahh, so you must have had a large number of fully completed applications dropped on your desk the very hour you announced the opening?”

“As you said, he clearly has great admiration and respect for myself, an open and shut case,” Byakuya replied grumpily. “What has this to do with your sister?”

“Possibility number two! His cooperation had nothing to do with you, and everything to do with the object of the rescue!”

“What makes you think they had any previous dealings with one another?” Byakuya asked. Of course, he knew about their previous dealings, Abarai had told him. He just wasn’t sure if Hisana knew about their previous dealings.

Hisana gave a disinterested half-shrug. “You had him watching over her while she was in lockdown, no? Picture it-- my poor sister, alone, despondent. A tragic waif!”

Byakuya regarded his wife with half-lidded eyes. “‘Despondent’ is a bit strong. My understanding is that when she wasn’t trying to gnaw through the bars, she verbally harassed him extensively.”

Hisana fluttered her eyelashes at him. “Who could possibly fall in love with a woman under such circumstances, eh?”

Byakuya smoothed the front of his kimono. “Only a great fool, clearly.”

“Precisely,” Hisana grinned back. “So, here is a man either greatly devoted to my darling husband, or infatuated with my precious sister. Either way, it was in my best interest to find out.”

“And you have determined it is the second?” Byakuya asked. “A shame. I shall fire him immediately.”

“I have determined…” Hisana corrected, “it is both. And you shall do nothing of the sort. He is clearly a man after my own heart, a kindred spirit.”

“You seem to have left one small item out of your assessment, my dear.”

“And what would that be?”

“What if she does not return the attachment? Perhaps jail is not nearly as romantic a time as you imagine, and she has hardly had time to form an opinion.”

Hisana rolled her eyes. “The jail bit was a lie. Goodness, Byakuya, don’t you even read the service records of the people you hire? He’s from Inuzuri, as if every word out of his mouth weren’t a dead giveaway, and he entered the Academy the same year Rukia did. At the very least they would have run into each other at the Shinigami Recruitment Station, but I would bet anything that if they weren’t childhood friends, they were childhood enemies, which is even better.” She narrowed her eyes grimly and gave a terse nod. “She knows him well enough, and if she hated him, she would have told me. Rukia has never hesitated for a moment to tell me about things she dislikes.”

“How did you get ahold of his service record?” Byakuya asked, horrified.

Hisana skidded to a halt, impressive, given the glacial pace at which they had been processing. She clutched at Byakuya’s sleeve. “Oh! Oh!” she gasped. Up ahead, on the bridge, Renji had his head tipped down toward Rukia’s. It only lasted a moment, and then he knelt down beside Touma, talking solemnly to the small boy, and pointing down at the water.

“Did you see that?” she whispered breathlessly.

“See what? That was nothing.” Byakuya squinted at the pair of young people and then back at his wife. “You are delusional.”

“My scheme is working perfectly,” Hisana announced grandly as Touma nearly tossed himself off the bridge, and Renji caught him neatly by the back of the hakama.

Byakuya had been married to Hisana for close to 50 years. This was not the first time he had heard these words. “As you say, dear,” he agreed. 

version 2

“I was surprised,” Hisana began loftily, “when you told me you had hired someone from the Eleventh.”

“I told you,” Byakuya interrupted, “his skills and test scores were superlative--”

Hisana waved a hand dismissively. “Not that part. Nothing you do is surprising. No the question is, why would someone from the Eleventh want to work for you?”

Byakuya made a hurt face. Hisana did not appear to notice. “So I asked around a bit, and it turns out he came from the Fifth. Who does that? People rarely transfer in and out of the Eleventh at all-- either you enter the Gotei through the Eleventh, or you avoid it like the plague, apparently.”

“Who have you been talking to?” Byakuya asked, perplexed.

“I assumed he was from Rukongai, for obvious reasons,” Hisana went on, “and I could tell he was from the deep south the moment he opened his mouth. And that made sense, I could see that. Comes to the big city, does well enough in school to get into a fancy pants squad, gets disillusioned, joins the brute squad. But if so, why set his sights on the Sixth, the fanciest pants of squads?”

Byakuya glared at his wife. He had specifically asked her not to refer to his unit as the “fanciest pants of squads” before. His glare did not seem to be as withering as he had hoped.

“No, the Eleventh was the outlier,” Hisana moved on. “I think he was there to brood.”

“You are ridiculous. No one joins the Eleventh for dramatic purposes.”

“You, Kuchiki Byakuya, threatened to join the Eleventh if your Grandfather wouldn’t let you marry me!”

“It was an idle threat and also, I told you to never speak of that. Also, you have truly spent more time thinking about this man than I ever have, and I spend most of my day in the same room as him.”

“He’s your second! You think I don’t care about the man who watches my husband’s back?”

“I think you find Gotei business to be exceedingly dull and this is most out of character for you.”

“All right, I got interested in him after both you and Rukia neglected to mention that he carried her around half the city and I had to hear it from someone else.”

#1500 follower deleted scenes fest #golly do i love to see any man get dragged by his beautiful wife #but *especially* this man

[recurring-polynya]

I Must Know About the There is No Bankai in Football one :eyes:

So, There is No Bankai in Football is, in part about Rukia wanting to do something nice and romantic for Renji but she doesn't know what. In the original concept, she spent a bunch of time going around and asking people for advice, including, for some reason, Ikkaku.

🤜 💥 🤛

“--I feel like you really misrepresented yourself, here, Kuchiki!”

“We’re fighting, aren’t we?!” Rukia shouting, smashing her fist into one of Madarame’s kidneys.

Ikkaku cursed colorfully. “Why-- do you-- keep getting-- fucking faster?” he grunted, swinging his fists fruitlessly at her. 

“Answer the question, and maybe I’ll slow down!”

“How the fuck should I know why he stays with me?! Why the hell do you want to know, anyway?”

“Because--fuck!” Rukia looked up irritably from where she had landed in the dirt after Ikkaku swept her feet out from under her. “Because we’re both horrible gremlins with partners we don’t deserve and I need advice.”

Ikkaku stuck out his lower lip as she hefted herself to her feet. “What’re you worrying for? Abarai will never leave you. He’s so far gone for you, it’s gross.”

“I’m not worried about him leaving me,” Rukia protested. “I want to do something nice for him, because I like him.”

Ikkaku made a disgusted face. “Arright, you want my relationship secrets? Here you go: I never touch his stuff. I let him put make-up on me whenever he wants. And we fuck a lot. Like, all the time. Constantly."

“He’s so much better than you, though! How do you deal with it?”

Ikkaku scratched the back of his head. “I’m not gonna talk about Yumichika right now, because I don’t talk about Yumichika, you get my drift? This is just, like, a hypothetical. But sometimes, a guy who goes out in public being gorgeous and smart and perfect all the time is kind of a mess at home, like when he’s got the avocado shit on his face, or when he’s reading those manga that make him ugly cry, or when he can’t get his feathers to come out right. Normal problems, like everybody gets, right?”

“Yeah…” Rukia said slowly, having definitely witnessed a few avocado face masks in her time.

“And even a perfect, smart, gorgeous guy sometimes needs someone to go pick up take-out, right? And to, like, talk him through a bad hair treatment. That’s the real romance, right there, is being there for the ugly stuff and never talking about it. That’s what I hear, anyway. Iba told me that. I don’t know anything about it.”

Rukia’s heart sank. Honestly, this just sounded like more shit Renji did for her, not the other way around. She was the one who was always making poor hair decisions and snuffling through romance manga. She didn’t even know how he had stood to look at her during the year she had been home with the baby, all puffy-faced and grouchy. How was she possibly both the Ikkaku and the Yumichika of their relationship?

“You know,” Ikkaku recalled, tapping his chin.  “I did just think of something romantic that I do. Sometimes I write him some erotic poetry.”

“This was a terrible idea, I’m going to start hitting you again,” Rukia replied, cracking her knuckles.

“Yeah, that’s really not the way to go. I had Abarai look over some of my works, y’know, ‘cuz he’s all literary-minded and shit--”

“Is he?” Rukia frowned.

“--for a Squad 11 guy. I mean, he’s literate. In any case, he did not appreciate it.” He side-stepped one of Rukia’s kicks. “Maybe he just doesn’t like poetry about dicks. Maybe he would like it better if it were about whatever you got down there. That is not my area of expertise.”

“I am definitely going to punch you in the face now,” Rukia informed him, and then she did.

#1500 follower deleted scenes fest #this is definitely the best deleted scene of the whole bunch thank you for requesting it

[recurring-polynya]

Can I ask for either "A Supposedly Fun Thing We'll Never Do Again" or "Hold On, Hold On"?

As I said, the one from "A Supposedly Fun Thing" is very short, but it made me laugh, so here you go: (from a scene where Renji and Nanao are on a date):

“Abarai,” said Nanao, leaning back in her seat. “I know you’re not actually dumb.”

“I am incredibly dumb,” he replied, putting his arms behind his head, which caused his t-shirt to ride up. 

“You’re the lieutenant of the Sixth Division. It is well known that Captain Kuchiki does not suffer fools gladly.”

“You can rest assured, he does not suffer me gladly.”

#1500 follower deleted scenes fest

[recurring-polynya]

oh nooo i want to see all of the deleted scenes!!! but if I have to choose then so it be. Can you post a deleted scene from final training montage or SS tattoo au or a little in love act 4?

Here's one from One Final Training Montage. All the deleted scenes from that one are just variations on how it actually ended up, but I thought this version was kinda cute.

❄️ ⚔️ 💞

“It sounds like maybe you’re the one who could have figured all this out a little earlier,” she grumbled.

“Maybe I should have,” he agreed amiably. 

She fiddled with the ribbon on her sword. “What… do we do now?”

“Well, we could trying making out while we’re sober.”

“I mean, what are we going to tell Brother?”

Renji shrugged, and in a most uncharacteristic way, replied, “He can deal with it.”

“Brother had never ‘dealt with’ anything in his entire life.”

“Yeah, well between us, we’ve got three bankai and he’s only got one, so he can learn to deal with it.”

“What about--”

“Rukia. You’re… scared, aren’t you?”

Rukia’s pupils narrowed. “Never!”

“It’s okay to be scared.” Renji pulled off his bandanna and wrapped it around his hand. Then, carefully, he reached out it take hers, which burned with cold, even through the cloth. “It’s scary to love someone, especially someone who has the gall the run around fighting Arrancar and Quincy and standing too close to Kurosaki when he’s shooting his mouth off.”

“Are you talking about me or you?”

“Does it matter? It’s also scary to *admit* that you love someone, which I think is why you have lowered yourself to some ungodly temperature to have this conversation.”

“I’m think I’m actually pretty close to my limit. I don’t think I can stay this cold for very long without hurting myself.”

“Well, don’t do that. You love me and that’s all I need for today. We’ll figure the rest out when you’re ready. Why don’t you warm back up?”

“I might start crying. Or kissing you.”

“That would be okay. I’ve seen both of those things before and they’re not so bad.”

“But before I do that, I… I think I’m really close. To Bankai. I want to try.”

Renji grinned. “Really? Go for it.” “You should probably… leave. I think it’s going to be big.”

“Good. I want to see it.” His heart was swelling with pride for her. And also… reiatsu? “And I intend to keep fighting by your side for a long time, so we better practice dual releasing.”

“Dual releasing?”

“SOO ZABIMARU!”

“HAKKA NO TOGAME!”

#1500 follower deleted scenes fest #is dual-releasing a thing in bleach?? #because gotdam it should be #thanks galaxy-brained 2019 me i will be rolling that idea around in my brain all day #like. you should get bonuses for dual-releasing with your bestie/soulmate/frenemy whatever #but there's a chance it doesn't work if you don't have enough drift-compatibility #let's get real you probably just get a bigger explosion but let me dream #fyi when people send me multiple requests i will pick based on a combo of what other requests i've already gotten and what i have available #but beyond that i go in the order you list 'em so please list your 'most wanted' first cuz that's what you'll get #i have another request for the little in love preview so that'll be coming up in a bit

[recurring-polynya]

i am devouring EVERY WORD of these deleted scenes is there anything more we can see from a little in love????

Sure, why not? This is the last one, though, don't wanna give *too* much away.

“Well, what they do in the World of the Living,” Rukia explained, “when they want to have a traditional wedding, they just add the western dress as another outfit change. Sometimes even two outfit changes, a wedding dress, and then a ‘cocktail dress’.” She had first encountered these beautiful gowns in a romance manga Orihime had loaned her. Orihime was a great fan of fancy dresses and she had been happy to give Rukia a primer on various styles and the customs associated with them over the course of numerous school lunch breaks.

Hisana laughed gently. “You want extra outfit changes?”

Rukia felt her face go warm. “I didn’t say I wanted it! I was just thinking about it!”

“What does the groom do in these circumstances?” Koshino asked. “Does he also change into Western clothing? The tight pants?”

“I think it’s optional, but he certainly could,” Rukia shrugged. 

Koshino ran one finger over his mustache thoughtfully. “A montsuki is classic. It is impossible to look bad in one. The Western suit is less forgiving. Lord Kuchiki, of course, could pull it off easily. The man can wear anything.”

“And how!” Hisana sighed dreamily. 

“Excuse me, Lady Rukia?”

All three of them looked up to see one of the footmen standing in the doorway. 

Yes, Saejima?” Rukia perked up, already having a suspicion why he was here.

“Lord Kuchiki and Lieutenant Abarai have concluded their business. Lord Kuchiki asked me to,” Saejima cleared his throat slightly, “deliver Lieutenant Abarai into your custody until dinnertime.”

Finally! “Wonderful! Thank you, Saejima!” Rukia set her teacup back on the tray and started to get up.

“Oh, oh, wait!” Hisana broke in. “Send him in, Saejima! I want him to meet Mr. Koshino.”

“Sister, no,” Rukia murmured. If pressed, Rukia would have to admit that she didn’t hate talking high fashion nearly as much as she pretended to, but poor Renji certainly didn’t want to sit through a discussion about which sleeve length would be most flattering to his body shape.

It was too late, though. Renji’s curious face appeared in the doorway. “Er, good afternoon, Lady Hisana,” he said. His gaze fell on Rukia, and despite herself, her heart sped up. “Lady Rukia.”

“There he is!” Hisana trilled, waving a hand. “Come in, Lieutenant, would you like some tea?”

“Er, I’m good, thank you.”

“Lieutenant Abarai, this is Koshino Syuuga, the most exclusive clothing designer in Soul Society. Mr. Koshino, this is Abarai Renji, my husband’s adjutant and Rukia’s beau.”

“Nice to meet you!” Renji said cheerfully, making a little bow.

Koshino’s eyes scanned over Renji, probably estimating his measurements to pinpoint accuracy. “This is him?” he demanded. “The bridegroom?”

Renji’s face abruptly turned purple.

“Shh, shh! It’s not official yet!” Hisana one hand. “But yes.”

“I have changed my mind!” Koshino declared, throwing one hand into the air. “You shall have your Western wedding outfits, Lady Rukia! This is new to me, but I shall begin researching immediately!”

“I didn’t actually ask for it,” Rukia pointed out, standing up and edging towards the door.

Koshino was on a tear now. “No one told me about this man and his beautiful hair! Rukia, you will wear the scarlet iro-uchikake! What a pair you will make! Why did you worry me, Lady Hisana? Saying people will pooh-pooh on the wedding because it is an adoptive marriage, when the happy couple is this? Call your friend at the Bulletin and tell them to save the entire Society page! Perhaps the front cover, even!”

Renji stood rigid and pale, his entire body held still. Maybe he was hoping that Koshino’s vision was motion-based, like some Hollows. Rukia walked over and grabbed him by the wrist. “I’m taking Renji for a walk in the garden until dinner!” she announced. “Thank you for coming by, Mr. Koshino! If I can, I’ll try to get a hold of a Living World bridal magazine for you!”

“Ah, Lady Rukia, this is why you are my favorite, even among the Kuchiki, the most beautiful people in Soul Society!”

“Don’t let Brother hear you say that!” Rukia sang as she hauled Renji out of the sitting room.

#1500 follower deleted scenes fest #lol look who's back

[recurring-polynya]

(also for the 1500 followers garage fest): I will also send in one for "a little in love, act iv" since I just finished act iii!

Since both you and Fluff asked for it, here it is, proof that I actually have worked on the beast.

(cut for people who would rather be surprised)

“Weather must have been gorgeous,” Izuru noted, fishing a handful of edamame out of the bowl in the middle of the table. Izuru could always tell when someone was working their way up to saying a thing. 

“Yeah, it was perfect,” Renji admitted. “Had a couple of bonfires and fireworks. You know how the Shiba love fireworks.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” Shuuhei waved a finger at him. “Great conditions for leaf-peeping. Cut to the chase: did you find out why Shiba Isshin is back in Soul Society?”

“For the bonfires and fireworks was my impression,” Renji shrugged.

Shuuhei groaned. “You’re useless!”

“Go ask Rangiku, I hear she and Captain Hitsugaya were out to see him the week before us.”

“I did! She said it was personal, and it wasn’t her story to share. She’s mad at you, by the way, for ditching your own birthday party.”

“Hmm,” Renji said. “She was probably referring to the reason he deserted. I only got about a quarter of that story, and she’s right, it is personal. How was my birthday party?”

Shuuhei heaved a huge sigh. “It was okay. It would have been better if you had actually been there.”

Momo’s hand slammed down on the table. “Shuuhei, stop going off topic! I have had the administrative week from Hell and I have been very patient, but I need to know if there was smooching and if I don’t find out in the next five minutes I am going to flip this table!”

“Oh,” said Renji. He took a small sip of his sake. “Yes. There was smooching.”

His friends stared at him in disbelief for a long moment. 

“There was?” Momo half-shrieked. “You aren’t messing with us, are you?”

“Just to clarify,” Izuru broke in, “the smooching was between you and Rukia, correct? If you are faking us out because Captain Kuchiki kissed his wife in front of you, I will flip the table.”

“The first,” Renji nodded, grabbing some edamame. “I, uh. I kissed Rukia.” He popped a pod’s worth of beans into his mouth and chewed them thoughtfully. “Rukia also kissed me. The kissing occurred on multiple occasions. It was my birthday, you know.”

#1500 follower deleted scenes fest #i will finish this story someday i swear 😭😭😭

[recurring-polynya]

So i dont have a specific story in mind, but can you give me whatever draft you can that is the sappiest sweetest fluffiest scene you got?

Ummmm. Hrnnnnngh. 😬😬😬 I don't know! I don't really ever like to think of my writing as sappy or fluffy, although I'm sure it is at times.

Well, this is the best thing I could find, I guess. It's from near the end of What We Do with our Hearts, where Rukia is showing her maid, Mikan, pictures from her and Renji's tattoo date non-date. In this version, Mikan was a lot more forthcoming with her opinions (which is to say, my opinions, and possibly yours as well).

🍊 🍊 🍊

“I don’t know how you manage to keep such a serious face when he smiles at you like that,” Mikan said dreamily. “I could never.”

Rukia watched her maid’s face in the mirror. There was a definite wistfulness around Mikan’s eyes as she expertly massaged oil into Rukia’s scalp. “Mikan,” she drew out slowly. “I know we joke about what a dreamboat he is all the time, but you don’t have a crush on Renji, do you?”

Mikan abruptly turned so red that her freckles disappeared. “No! That’s not it at all, miss! Er, what I mean is, um, it’s nothing, miss!”

Rukia raised one eyebrow. “It doesn’t sound like nothing.”

Mikan’s voice dropped to a whisper. “I shouldn’t have said anything. It’s inappropriate, miss.”

Rukia raised the other eyebrow. “If it’s inappropriate, then I definitely want to hear it.”

“No, miss. You’ll fire me.”

“I’m certainly not going to fire you five hours before I’m supposed to be the star of my own party. Come on! Out with it!”

Mikan bit her lower lip for a moment. “He’s certainly very handsome, but it just makes my heart feel very warm and squishy when you talk about, you know, how kind and funny he is, and your eyes get very soft and pretty. Or sometimes you tell stories about your, um, shenanigans and you smile a lot and seem so happy.”

“‘Shenanigans’?” Rukia echoed.

“And it’s very silly, I know,” Mikan was still babbling, “but sometimes I like to imagine nice things for you, like appearing on the front page of Noble Souls in a hairstyle I did up, or becoming a Gotei captain, or… Lieutenant Abarai confessing his love for you in a very romantic way.”

Rukia opened her mouth with the intention of saying something, but found no words at her disposal.

“Mostly, I just like to think about putting on a grand wedding with flowers and desserts and Mr. Koshino would just be in ecstasies, don’t you think? But what if your Lord Brother disapproved and you had to run away to the Rukon and you took me, your Loyal Maid with you and I had to learn martial arts or possibly archery? I don’t really think that would happen, miss, Lord Kuchiki seems too fond of you. I just like to imagine I could punch someone. I am sure I could not punch anyone.”

“I can teach you to punch someone,” Rukia said automatically. “You think I should...get together… with Renji?”

“Oh, miss, I’m would never be so presumptuous! I just...like to think about it.”

There was a Living World word for that, Rukia remembered, her brain still not working quite correctly. Shipping. Orihime had taught her all about it, but that had been in the context of a manga. Mikan ships us, she thought stupidly.

“Please don’t be mad, miss!” Mikan begged. Miraculously, she had not stopped working on Rukia’s hair the entire time. “I know I have an overactive imagination. I’m sorry!”

“It’s okay!” Rukia tried to reassure her. “I’m not… mad.” Should she be mad? Possibly, but how could she get mad about Mikan’s earnest good wishes for her? Especially not when… well...

#1500 follower deleted scenes fest #i mean. it's good that she feels this way given the incredible amount of their bullshit she has to put up with in the next story coming up #this is the last one i got in the hopper so unless there are any desperate last minute requests i guess we're done! #thanks everyone this was a lot of fun for me and i hope it wasn't too big a pain in the ass for you!

[recurring-polynya]

For the garage sale 1500 follower fest: Portions for Foxes! :D Congrats on the milestone!

I posted the heartfelt and earnest scene from Portions for Foxes earlier, which got cut just because I went in a different direction. This one, on the other hand, got cut for being too bonkers, but I feel that you, especially, will appreciate it.

This takes place towards the end of fanfic when everyone is doing a little better and there are a bunch of sort of vignettes, like when they go to the art gallery to see the horrible painting of Byakuya. Maybe it's a spoiler for the fanfic, but it's also in the tags, so I don't feel too bad about it: Rukia is very pregnant at this point.

Anyway, this is why they should have had a big No Sex in the Champagne Room Royal Realm sign and also made everyone sign a waiver and also probably not let Renji and especially not Rukia up there in the first place.

👹 ❄️ 💥

And then there's the day The Experiment breaks out of Squad 12. It is very large and very disgusting and also has just far too many eyes and teeth and teeth-eyes.

Captain Kurotsuchi is the one who really should have taken care of it, but he happens to be taking some personal time in his sensory deprivation tank.

Captain Zaraki and his top seats are out on a mission. They will all be very salty about this when they return.

It also happens to be one of the days when Renji is over at the Sixth and Rukia is at the Thirteenth.

So, The Experiment breaks out of Squad 12, turns right, and and heads over to Squad 11. It's wrecked their mess hall and twenty meatheads are trying to fight it at once, when Rukia meanders over, dances out a Tsukishirou, and kills it dead in two seconds. And then leaves again.

Renji finds her down at the kidou butts later, cratering practice dummies with souren sokatsui, which he knows is her favorite.

"You here to yell at me?" she asks crossly.

"I made a joke the other day about you fighting Zaraki," he says slowly. "And I'm just now realizing that you weren't just being a worrywart. That it's been really fucking unfair of me to go around havin' a good time when you can't."

A pained look crosses Rukia's face. "I'm doing something important."

"That's right, you are," he announces. "You been doing every single thing that needs to be done since the minute we woke up in Kirinji's hot springs. You've been crushin' it." He takes a long pause. "And I think its been killing you."

"Can't you just yell at me?" she grumbles. "Aren't you mad I put our baby in danger?"

"Did you? he asks. "Baby's gone to bankai with you. Guess I kinda trust you to know what's okay and what's not."

Instead of answering, she annihilates another practice dummy, this time with a plain ol' shakkahou. She's become someone like Byakuya, who can channel a tremendous amount of destruction, even through the lower level spells.

And then Renji realizes what she's doing, that she did just answer him.

"Are you buddying off the baby's reiatsu?" he asks, incredulous.

"He doesn't mind," Rukia dismisses.

"That's not the point, the point is--"  He comes up short. "Are you just guessin' at that 'he' thing, or do you know something?"

Rukia shrugs. "Sode no Shirayuki says we are having a son. You know how full of shit she is, though."

"That's amazing," Renji breathes. "I mean, not that it's a boy, it had to be something, but that your zanpaktou…and you can share reiatsu…" He sits down, right on the ground. "You can't ever do anything normal, can you, Rukia?"

"I don't know how to make a dumb baby," Rukia scowls, crossing her arms. "I was blaming you."

#1500 follower deleted scenes fest #me: i am going to write an exploration of love and grief that is SO tender #also me: look what if they made a baby in the royal realm and it was super OP that would be sick right? #portions for foxes was written pretty exclusively between the hours of 11pm and 3am. i never do this. this is the time that i sleep. #'eyes and teeth and teeth-eyes' is definitely a phrase written by someone who should have gone to bed several hours ago #it's honestly surprising there weren't *more* ridiculous bits that ended up on the cutting room floor #fyi i am now out of portions for foxes

[recurring-polynya]

Congrats on 1500!!!!! You deserve it :) I’d be interested to see any deleted scenes from Portions for Foxes!

There are two good deleted scenes from Portions for Foxes. Here is the angsty/sappy one (I have another request in the queue, so you' can'll see the bonkers one later). This happens near the end of the fic, so I'm gonna stick the explanation under the cut for spoilers, in case anyone out there has not read my four-year-old fanfic.

So, the first time I wrote the part in Chapter 4 where Renji accidentally tells Rukia that he loves her in the middle of the night, I had her get up in the morning and just go to work, so she wasn't there when he woke up. This is how that scene continued after that. The beginning may feel familiar because I scrounged most of it back into the fic later, but put it here for context.

This scene is actually kind of an interesting insight into my writing process-- I wrote it, it felt wrong to me, I was Angry for a week, and then I replaced it with the version that ended up in the final story. The flaw here, as I eventually identified it, is that the characters Say Too Much. I have a tendency to write my characters explaining everything about the story to the reader, which is not what I want-- I want to keep things subtle, I want to let the reader make connections themselves. Also, while I, personally, am constantly deconstructing and analyzing my own feelings and behavior, that's not a thing that realistic and interesting characters should be doing in stories. On the other hand, this kind of thing definitely definitely falls into the "no writing is wasted" category, because having a piece of text where I have spelled out what is going on can be enormously helpful for making sure it got sprinkled in there.

🌺 🍡 🍂

It's late morning when Renji rolls into the offices of the 13th Division, his arms full.

"What the fuck am I supposed to do with these?" Rukia exclaims, as he dumps an enormous bouquet of red camellias into her arms.

"I'll find a vase," he promises, "I'm sure Captain Ukitake kept some around?"

"Leftmost bottom cabinet," Rukia grudgingly supplies. "Next to the extra paper." She eyes the white paper bag he has also deposited on her desk. It is printed with the label of her favorite confectionery shop. "And you know that's not what I meant."

Renji returns with a vase and relieves her of the flowers. "We need to talk."

She watches him try to fluff the flowers in the vase. "You don't know anything about flowers, do you?"

"I know about camellias," he responds simply.

She swallows. "Renji, don't."

He regards her for a moment. "You're right. I don't want to do this at the office. Let's play hooky."

She looks skeptical, so he snatches up the bag of wagashi and shakes it tantalizingly. "I'm going for a walk and taking these with me."

Rukia wrinkles her nose. "Fine. But only because I know you're going to subject me to this sooner or later, you never let anything lie. Now, help me get out of this chair."

He gives her a hand up.

"Did Brother do this often?" Rukia asks as they walk, trying to needle him. "Play hooky?"

She has repossessed her bag of sweets, although she did give him one. 

"He did, actually," Renji replies, a fond smile on his face. "It took me a while to figure out, but he used to say, 'Lieutenant! Attend me!' and then he'd go off somewhere, walking fast, very serious face on, me trying to keep up. And we'd go somewhere-- the first time, it was Soukyoku Hill, I remember that. And he would just stand there for a while, twenty, thirty minutes and then we'd go back. The cherry grove over near the Academy. The Royal Botanical Gardens. Those ugly sculptures outside the Art Museum. I think he took me along because it made it look like he was off doing something official, but I'm pretty sure he just liked getting out of the office once in a while."    

Rukia is making a face. "I think he liked being with people, but he didn't like talking to them. He did that to me all the time, too, although it was more often the woods behind the Manor or the gardens. He liked to sit and draw together, too."

They are both silent for a long moment.

"Only took us five months," Renji says quietly, "to be able to talk about him." 

"Is that what you wanted to talk about?" Rukia snaps, a bit too harshly.

"No," Renji replies. "Look, we're here, you wanna find a spot to sit?"

He's brought them out to the Red Hollow Gate Overlook, a place they have spent many an hour, the best view of South Rukongai in the Seireitei. It is the analog of the overlook in Inuzuri where they used to stand, looking inward. It was the place where they buried their dead, but it never felt morbid to them. It was just a place they all liked to be, a place they might pick to be forever, when the time came.

It is getting into late autumn, and Rukongai is mostly brown now, just a small ring around the Seireitei ablaze in scarlets and oranges. Renji tries to guesstimate where the color ends. 18, maybe? They've probably already had snow in Inuzuri. 

No one is up here today. Fall colors have lost their charm and it’s pretty chilly. Renji spreads his haori on the ground and helps Rukia sit before plopping down beside her.

He takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly.

"You don't have to--" Rukia tries to interrupt.

"I do, actually. This has been killing me, Rukia, so let me say my piece, will ya?"

Her mouth snaps shut.

"I have spent my entire adult life trying to be better than I am," he sighs. "A good part of my adolescence, too, for that matter." He smiles sadly. "I wasn't exactly close, but I was gettin' there."

"Close to what?" Rukia demands.

"To being good enough," he explains, as though this clarifies anything. "To feel like I would have something--anything-- to offer you if I were to, y'know, ask you to marry me."

Rukia takes a sharp intake of breath.

"And then-- just after the biggest failure of my whole life-- failed my captain, failed you, failed everyone, and I let myself fall back into being an absolute trash heap of a person, you had to go and ask me, instead."

"Renji, you were grieving. You're still grieving. I shouldn't have--"

"I'm not trying to blame you! I'm just trying to explain why I haven't been the husband I always wanted to be for you. That I'm not even sure if that's something you want. That even though I've been a miserable pile of shit, I still love you, for whatever the love of a miserable pile of shit is worth."

"Oh, Renji," Rukia manages, throwing her arms around him. "You act like I've been any better. The only good thing I've been able to do-- the only thing that's kept me from giving up-- has been trying to hold you together. And lately, it seems like you're doing so much better and I'm not, I'm not better at all, and you don't need me anymore and I don't know-- I don't--"

"Shh, shh," Renji says, taking her in his arms. "Of course I need you. I've always needed you. I've only managed to get my shit in line because I thought that's what you needed. I can go back to drinking my breakfast if that's what you'd prefer."

"It's not," she scowls back at him. 

"Okay," he nods. "But maybe instead of being two sad people who can't even talk to each other, maybe we can try to be two sad people who are trying to help each other. Who are trying to get better, for each other's sake, if not for our own."   

She nods, unable to speak, and stuffs her face into his side. A muffled “I love you, too. I’m sorry,” eventually emerges.

“You’re sorry? For what?”

She turns her head a little. “For making you marry me. For roping you into Kuchiki family politics.”

He guffaws. “I was the one who told you gettin’ adopted was a good idea, all those years ago. And you shut up about our wedding, I loved our wedding. Fuck Ichigo and his dumb ideas, gettin’ married in secret and fucking over a bunch of nobles was awesome.”

“I liked it, too,” she says in a tiny little voice.

Renji sighs. “Speaking of Ichigo, though… I guess it’s probably about time I go apologize to him, huh?”

“Why is he mad at you anyway?”

“He didn’t think I was doing a very good job of taking care of you. And I got mad at him back because he was right.”

“Do you have to go right now?”

Renji shakes his head, and tightens his arms around her. “Naw," he says. "He can wait. I’m busy right now.”

#1500 follower deleted scenes fest

[recurring-polynya]

Re: Hold On, Hold On outtake. Hrgjgks academy squad depression book club and Momo's Book Opinions. To be fair I too am not immune to battle scenes where insides become outsides, lovingly described. If I can double dip deleted scenes I'm gonna ask about What We Do With Our Hearts.

Thank you!! My husband read a lot of David Eddings in his teen years, and I was a Mercedes Lackey girl, and the Kira-Hinamori literary feud is based very specifically on the way we lovingly rip each other for our respective tastes in trashy late 80s/early 90s fantasy.

Haven't had any Hearts requests yet, so here's a proto-version of Byakuya's childhood memory of his Memorable Outing with Grandfather.

🍃 🍂 ❄️

Grandfather smiled back, his mustache curving upward. “Alright, we’re here! Are you ready to answer some questions and show me how hard you have been studying?”

“Yes!” Byakuya grinned. 

“Down at the bottom of the hill we just climbed, did you see the tunnel? Big enough for two carts to go through side-by-side?”

“Yes! There was a cart with vegetables coming through it!”

“Do you know where that tunnel leads?”

“Red Hollow Gate!”

“Exactly right! Now, look out that way, my boy!” Grandfather frowned. “Can you see past the wall?”

The big embankment they were standing on abutted the outer wall of the Seireitei, which protruded about a meter above the earth, presumably to keep people from toppling over the edge. 

“Yes, of course,” Byakuya replied, going up on his tippy toes.

Grandfather raised an eyebrow at his efforts for a moment, before scooping Byakuya up and settling him on his shoulders. “There we go, is that a little better?”

“Yes! Thank you, Grandfather!” 

“Look out. What do you see?”

“South Rukongai!” Byakuya declared, gently holding Grandfather’s soft, beautiful hair. He was extra careful not to pull. 

“How did you know?” Grandfather asked, sounding skeptical, as though Byakuya must have cheated somehow.

“Because it’s the closest gate to our house! We walked away from Soukyoku Hill to get here, and if this were one of the other gates, we would have had to walk around it!”

“Very good,” Grandfather replied softly. “Now here is a hard one. What is that, out at the edges?”

From his lofty vantage point, Soul Society stretched out before Byakuya, painted in brilliant reds and golds, even though the leaves were only beginning to turn inside the city. The further districts dulled into brown, and at the edges of what he could see, a soft, white fog hung in the air, obscuring what lay beyond. Byakuya squinted at the mist, trying to figure out what it might be. “It’s clouds, Grandfather!” he realized. “It’s snowing!”

“That’s right!” Grandfather agreed.

“But it’s not even November!” Byakuya gasped. He couldn’t imagine it snowing so early. 

“Winter starts early in the outer Rukon and moves inward,” Grandfather explained. “It’s very easy to see on a day like today, eh?”

“Will it be over earlier, too?”

“Later, actually. Winter is just longer on the periphery, and summer is as well. Here in the Seireitei, we get a long spring and autumn instead.”

“When will the snow get here?” Byakuya asked. “Tomorrow?” Already, grand visions of sledding and snowmen were filling his mind.

“It will be a few weeks yet,” Grandfather chuckled. 

“They’re lucky,” Byakuya pouted.

Grandfather’s hands patted against his knees. “Rukon winters are long and harsh. They probably think you are very lucky to live here in the city, where the persimmons are still ripening.”

“I don’t like persimmons. They’re too sweet and they feel squishy in my mouth.”

“Ah, that’s right! Well, we have other nice things here. Chestnuts?"

Byakuya continued to gaze outward, imagining what other strange wonders Rukongai might contain. Byakuya himself had never left the protective ring of the city walls. He was still at an age where he occasionally conflated his geography lessons with his storybooks, and to him, the Rukon was the place where samurai traveled out to fight demons and rescue kidnapped princesses. “It’s so big,” he gasped. 

“It is. It is vast,” Grandfather agreed. “It is impossible to protect, Byakuya, but it is our duty to try. It is easy to forget that.”

“Why can’t all the people there just move to the city?” Byakuya asked, wrinkling his nose.

“There are many reasons. The city is not big enough. The journey is dangerous. Most importantly, it is not proper for weak souls to linger in Soul Society. They have new lives awaiting them in the World of the Living. For them, Soul Society is like a road. A place to pass through. In fact, that is the entire purpose of Soul Society. We, those born of this place, are given power so that we can defend and preserve it.”

“Then why don’t we live out there, with them, then?” Byakuya suggested.

“Because there aren’t enough of us. In the city, we learn and train and grow strong, and teach our children how to carry on in our work. We also have many precious things that are kept in the city-- portals to the Living World, and all our knowledge in books and archives, and of course, our friends and families.”

“The people out there don’t have families?”

“They make little temporary families, but remember, they aren’t supposed to stay for long."

#1500 follower deleted scenes fest #sorry it just sort of peters out a bit at the end #but sometimes 'inability to finish' is why something ends up in the cut pile to begin with

[recurring-polynya]

Can i choose the one for Call Me Back when the War is Over?

Call Me Back when the War is Over is a very long fanfic and I have multiple trash documents for it. Nearly all the deleted scenes are just earlier drafts of final scenes, although many of them are sort of fun an interesting and I was trying to do a thorough job of skimming through them and finding the most interesting, and waaaaaaaaaay at the bottom, of the First Draft document, underneath all the ByaHisa flashbacks (which I wrote in a single day, mostly in a fugue) I found this, which I definitely do not remember writing. I guess it's technically an earlier version of the scene where they're carb-loading the night before the exam, but, uh...it's, um, significantly less circumspect, shall we say.

🍚 💞 🍚

"Renji," Rukia said, feeling very much loaded with carbs, "can I ask you something? And if it turns out to be embarrassing for both of us, do you promise to just forget that I asked?"

Renji snorted. "Isn't that just the standard agreement?"

"I 'spose," she replied, taking a long sip of water while she tried to figure out just how to say this. "If it weren't for my...family situation. If you didn't have to get approval from my brother. If we could just do what we wanted, would you… would you ever consider being -- I don't want to say being more than friends, because being friends with you has meant more to me than any romantic relationship I've ever had, but--" 

"Ru," Renji gently cut her off. "If it weren't for your brother there'd be a line out the door of people who'd like to have a romantic relationship with you."

He'd given her an out, she could just accept it and let this go. Except that he was the one who accepted things as they were, he was the one who never wanted to risk what he had for a chance at something even better, no matter how badly he wanted it. It had taken her a long time to realize that; he was brutally good at hiding it. "That's not what I asked," she reminded him firmly.

She expected him to get flustered or defensive, so when he cocked his head and his eyes went soft, she was sure he was about to let her down easy, and her heart fell down into her stomach.

"O' course I would."

It took a moment to sink in. "Oh," she said, trying to grasp the enormity of it. She chewed her lip. She had expected more excuses, more qualifiers, more reasons why it was a terrible idea, beyond one stupid, stubborn brother standing in the way. "I...could try talking to him," she said, her voice coming out embarrassingly small and tentative.

"He would say no," Renji replied, his own voice soft, but confident in his assertion.

"Oh." He was right. It seemed sometimes like her brother had softened, when he joked with her at dinner or gave her an affectionate glance, but these things were personal barriers overcome, private matters. The courtship of a sister was public, a matter he would have to answer to his own family for. She was lucky that he'd resisted the calls to marry her off. To ask for this--

"If you asked him now, that is," Renji added.

Rukia's brows furrowed. "I don't understand. You think there's something you could do to change his mind? Make captain, maybe?"

Renji shook his head. "It's not about rank, not anymore. It's a little bit about class. It's mostly just about coming around." He paused thoughtfully. "He's started using moves from the Kuchiki Third Form on me when we spar. Sometimes, when he talks about the squad, he says 'our' instead of 'my.' 'Our Third Seat', or 'our duty.'"

"Renji, that's nonsense. That's nothing."

Renji's facial expression didn't change, sort of a quiet determination, an expression she didn't really associate with him. Usually, his determination was accompanied by anger, self-righteousness.

"You say that because you're a person who jumps into things with both feet. So take it from me that your brother is a guy who makes three hundred part plans that never fall apart. You can't spring stuff on him, you can't demand things of him. But once you've been around long enough, he just starts incorporating you into his plans…" Renji shrugged. 

"You mean we just have to wait until he just decides he likes you?" Rukia exclaimed.

"I'm wouldn't say I was waiting," Renji frowned. "Just working my way through my plan. Wakin' up every day and doin' my best. Enjoying the time I get to be with you. I know waiting, Ru. This is nothing like waiting."

"Well, what am I supposed to do?" Rukia demanded.

Renji chuckled. "I, uh… I didn't know that you, er…that you were..."

"I would be open to the idea," Rukia sniffed.

#1500 follower deleted scenes fest #me: what if they had an open and frank conversation about their relationship? #also me: lol no. cut it

[recurring-polynya]

Which stories do you have deleted scenes of left? I don't wanna end up requesting one you dont have any more for

Oh! That's a good question! Here's the updated list:

Deleted scenes:

One Final Training Montage

A Supposedly Fun Thing We'll Never Do Again

Hold On, Hold On (one whole-ass entire alternate ending that got replaced for a reason and one shorty short one)

Between Tides (I have 28k worth of deleted scenes, but it's mostly 7 only-slightly-different versions of the confession scene and an entirely different Tomoe/Takeru backstory?? There are still some miscellaneous bits and scraps)

Portions for Foxes

Call Me Back When the War is Over

There is No Bankai in Football

Blessings and Curses

Brothers in Arms

What We Do with our Hearts

Previews:

Make this Leap (Soul Society Tattoo Artist AU, but it's the part where they meet as teens)

a little in love, act iv

#1500 follower deleted scenes fest #also if people are tired of these we can definitely be done 😂

[recurring-polynya]

Congrats on 15k followers!

Between Tides is probably my favorite fic of yours, and I'd love to hear what different takes you had for the cover backstory.

Between Tides was the first really long fic I ever wrote, and I had not yet developed my current outlining system. Suffice it to say, I did not have the "mystery" part of the plot very well determined in my head when I started. There were originally a couple more important characters that got cut, and part way through the story, Renji was supposed to get a part-time job teaching at a martial arts dojo (for plot reasons), and the original cover story was related to that. I guess I probably had to rewrite it when I junked that subplot. I had legitimately forgotten about this until I was looking through my notes. I have to say, it is astonishing how well the plot-plot of Between Tides hangs together, given the extremely seat-of-my-pants manner in which it was written.

Also, here's another fun fact that I had forgotten until I found it in there: the name Satonaka came from the main character of the film After Life, a movie about a counseling center for the recently dead . I watched it in my college Japanese film course and it permanently rewired my brain. It was out of print for a long time, but I just now found out that it was re-released by the Criterion Collection in 2021 and guess what this bitch will be doing with her 7-day free trial?

Enough of that. Here is the OG Satonaka teen love drama. I am warning you now that this is super-duper unedited and I'm kind of embarrassed about it, but I love you all very much, so I am letting you look at it anyway.

🌊 🌊 🌊

Fortunately, Rukia had now been doing this long enough that she was starting to be given tasks that she had done before. The sensation of responding “I just emailed it to you!” or “Check the printer!” every time her boss demanded something held some of the same satisfaction as a well-executed squad maneuver. 

Unfortunately, this also meant that when the afternoon rolled around, Sunadori crashed extra hard. She moved her chair over to Rukia’s desk, and sat, leaned over, with her cheek on Rukia’s blotter.

Rukia wasn’t sure, but she thought they might be best friends now.

“I think I want to get back together with Haruta,” she sighed despondently.

“Hmmm,” Rukia replied. “Are there... pros and cons?”

“Did I mention we dated for a while? When we were much younger?”

“I could tell.”

“You could tell?”

“It’s...a common scenario,” Rukia hedged, glancing at the photo of Takeru on her desk.

“He was so angry about his dad’s death,” Sunadori sighed. “And it was like he blamed me. I couldn’t be around him. But he seems different now that he’s back from college. Everyone’s really sick of him talking about his aikido class, but I think it’s really helped him find himself.”

“Hmmm,” Rukia repeated. She was pretty sure this conversation was not generally appropriate for a Living World employment situation. On the other hand, she needed to get more intel on Oga, and this seemed like a really prime opportunity. Also, in the grand scheme of inappropriate captain-lieutenant dynamics she had heard stories about, this didn’t even merit an eyeblink.

“Mr. Satonaka seems very nice. I’m sure you two had a fairy-tale romance.” Sunadori stared at his photo wistfully. She was obviously an oversharer to start with, and for some reason, she was already weirdly invested in her employee’s love life. Rukia decided to throw out some bait.

She blew all the air out of her cheeks. “Hardly. It’s a long, stupid story, it wouldn’t be appropriate for work.”

Sunadori sat up sharply. Hook, line, and sinker. “It’s the week before New Year’s, no one gets anything done anyway. Tell me everything.”

It might seem counterintuitive for Rukia to tell Sunadori a long story when what she really wanted was for Sunadori to tell *her* things. But that wasn’t the way these things worked. She would share a long, juicy story, and then Sunadori would tell her more than she wanted to know, probably forever.

Also, Rukia was really quite fond of the romance manga backstory she and Renji had made up. He’d gotten to pull it out a few times, but she hadn’t, yet. She was really looking forward to telling the whole thing to Orihime when this was all over. Well, here was her big chance.

“Are you sure you want to hear this?”

Sunadori stared at her. “Stop stalling.”

“Okay, well, so, I took martial arts as kid. Our neighbors ran a dojo, an old family school, similar to jujutsu. I took it pretty seriously, marched through the belts, had a room full of trophies. When I was old enough, I started helping with the beginner classes to help pay for my own. I think I was fourteen when Takeru started coming, he would have been thirteen. He was taller than everyone in his class by a head, and he was terrible. Most of the beginners were little. I mean, you can start at any age, it’s just rarer. Anyway, Numata-sensei had me work with him one-on-one so he could get the basics down and move to a group with people closer to his own age. I was really worried that he was gonna be a jerk about having a short girl teach him this stuff, but he was actually very polite, and a good listener, and he started getting better.

“We ended up talking a lot, and it turned out that he didn’t have a very nice family life, and he’d been getting into trouble a lot at school, which is why his mom put him in martial arts. I lived right down the street from the dojo, and I guess he just started coming by after class, and the next thing I knew, he was just at my house all the time.

“For a long time, I thought he liked being around my family as much as he liked being around me. My mom made him sweets all the time, which she wouldn’t make for us. My dad called him ‘sport’. I have an older brother and he’s just a total stiff. He was the captain of the football team and the top student and has had his entire career planned out since he was 8 years old, and Takeru just idolized him.”

“Where’s your brother now?” Sunadori asked hopefully.

“He’s a banker in Tokyo,” Rukia replied. 

“Married?”

“Only to his work. But he’s super married to his work. Would you rather hear about him?”

Sunadori flapped one hand. “No, you can get back to the story.”

Rukia sighed and hunched her shoulders. “This went on for a couple of years. Takeru was getting really good at jujutsu. Not as good as me, but we were competing at the same level, and sparring all the time. We went to regionals the year I was 16, and dominated so badly that the championship round was between me and him.” Rukia’s face went stiff. Acting. “He beat me. He knew my moves so well that he had worked out a counter-offense that he was saving until he had to face me in competition.” Renji had made up this entire part and refused all edits of it. “Afterwards, he insisted on walking me home, even though I wouldn’t speak to him, and he stopped me out in front of my house, and told me that now that he had defeated me, he felt like he could finally ask me if I would be his girlfriend.”

 Sunadori gasped.

“It was really lame,” Rukia editorialized. “It was terrible. The worst.”

“You said yes, though? Right? Please tell me you said yes.”

“Yeah, of course I did. I was 16.”

Sunadori sighed, completely taken in. Point Renji.

“Anyway, we dated for a year or so, and then his dad, who was barely there to begin with, skipped out completely. He fell apart.” She frowned. “I tried to be there for him, but I was in my senior year, dealing with exams and college entrances, and I don’t think I realized how badly he was spiraling. Takeru dropped out of school, he said he needed to get a job to help his mom. Except he didn’t, he-- y’know, I don’t want to go into the details. My family, his mom, Sensei, our friends-- we all tried to help him, and he pushed us away. My brother was off at college in Tokyo at that time, and he called up Takeru and reamed him out, which let me tell you, was not helpful. Finally, I told him that I couldn’t be with him anymore. Then I moved away to college and blocked his number, as if he was ever going to call me again.”

Sunadori looked downright misty.

“You had to do the same with Oga?” Rukia asked, grimly.

Sunadori shrugged. “Oga never… got in any real trouble. He was just… mean. Hurtful.”

Rukia nodded. “Takeru had been in and out of trouble the whole time we were together. I never saw that side of him, he hid it pretty well. When we were apart, I told myself that he had lied to me, that he’d never been as good as I thought. But people are complicated, you know? And I dated a few other guys, and I knew none of them were as good as Takeru’s good side."

She took a deep breath. The next part was going to call for some fake tears, which was actually one of Rukia’s specialties.  “So, I was home for New Year’s my senior year of college, and Takeru’s mom comes by. I guess she and my mom had kept in contact, although my mom had never mentioned it. She told me that the summer I left for school, he had enlisted in the JGSDF, and that there had been an accident-- I mean, it wasn’t an accident, it was an IED-- but he was in the hospital. He was going to live, but he they weren’t sure he was going to keep the leg.” One tear, sniff, wipe it away with the heel of her hand.

Sunadori looked downright stricken.

“I mean, he had been a downright rat-bastard, but we had some good times, too, and his mom said he had cleaned himself up a lot, so I thought, maybe I’ll write him a letter. The guy’s in the hospital, may end up with a prosthesis, the least I can do is send him a get-well card. I sat down and wrote him a twelve page letter. I didn’t know I still had twelve pages of feelings left for him. I stuffed that in my desk, and got him a card from the drug store instead. I felt bad after I sent it, so I wrote him a one-page letter of the absolute blandest nothing, and sent that to him. And he wrote back.”

“What did he say?” Sunadori asked breathlessly.

“It wasn’t very long. Thanks for writing mostly. That he hoped I was well. There was nothing in it that indicated he wanted anything from me or expected anything of me.” She frowned. “It broke my heart. So I wrote him a longer letter, just nice things, happy things, things that I remembered would make him smile. And he wrote back to that, too, and then we started texting, and calling. His leg got better. I was back at school, finishing up my last semester, when they let him go home, to his mom’s. I took the train home that weekend, just to see him. I didn’t tell him I was coming.”

“Oh, how romantic! What did he say when he saw you?”

“Well, here’s the thing. You should tell people when you’re visiting them, especially when they’re just out of the hospital. He looked terrible and he was in a lot of pain, and I think he was a little embarrassed. But that’s when I really knew that he had changed. Because through all that pain, he was so careful with everything he said and so gentle, all he cared about was that he didn’t accidentally push me away again. At the end of the weekend, he made me promise that I wouldn’t let him distract me from school and that I would have a strong finish.”

“Mmm, I would have been distracted.”

Rukia’s brows creased. “Ma’am, I assure you I worked very hard on all my coursework, and am a very qualified employee.”

Sunadori rolled her eyes. “You already have the job, get on with it.”

“Well, the job market was pretty tight, and my dad knew someone who needed some part time office help, so I moved back home after graduation. I found out that Takeru’s mom was too busy to get him to PT most of the time, which was downright stupid, since it was basically a miracle that he kept the leg at all. So I started driving him around and at first it was just making sure he made it to all his appointments, and helping him with his veterans affairs paperwork, and then we were just always together again.”

#1500 follower deleted scenes fest #lol at sunadori trying to get it with byakuya GOOD LUCK GIRL #my queue of these is nearly empty in case anyone was hesitating to send 'em in

[recurring-polynya]

congrats on 1500!! u deserve hundred times more honestly. as for requests. the confession in "between tides" is haunting me constantly since I read it and the whole thing is so special to me! but also "brother in arms" is my favorite little fanfic I read with tears in my eyes so I hope someone will request it too. love !!

Not gonna lie, I spent weeks on that stupid Between Tides confession scene. I would work on it for a while, abandon it for a while, come back again. I both loved working on it and hated working on it. I think I tinkered more with that scene than I have with any other piece of writing. I am glad it haunts someone.

Here's a slightly different version of it.

🌊 🌊 🌊

“Rukia,” he said, “You, uh, told me not to buy you anything for your birthday,” he started slowly. “But you didn’t say I couldn’t give you anything.”

“What are you up to, weirdo?” she murmured.

“Hush, you.” He looked down at her, and his gaze was so soft, it made her stomach drop. “I told you the other day that you deserve to hear how people feel about you, and I realized I was being a hypocrite, 'cause I haven’t told you myself. And I wanted to fix that."

Rukia swallowed. She could tell he had been trying really hard in the past week to be a good friend. She wasn't sure her ungrateful heart could take an utterly sincere and heartfelt speech about what a great friend she was and how important their friendship was to him.

“I’ve always wanted to do better for you, and I’ve never managed to.” He tucked a strand of her hair behind one ear. “There was nothing good to be had in Inuzuri, all I could do was spare you a little pain now and again. When we left, I thought if I could work hard enough, I could earn a decent life for both of us. Then Byakuya came along and gave you more than I ever could. I worked my tail off, anyway, trying to catch him, trying to have something to offer you. Didn’t matter, though, I couldn’t save you from Aizen, but it turned out you didn’t need me for that, either. Not sure you’ve ever really needed me for much of anything.”

“Renji--”

He put a finger on her lips. “I ain’t done. You still keep me around, though. So I’ve tried to do what I can. I can’t buy you a fancy house, so I let you hang out at my place and drink all my beer. I can’t fight your fights for you, so I let you hit me with all your dumb ice attacks until I’ve practically got pneumonia and you’re stronger than I am. I can’t get us back home, so I’ve tried to make this place as homey as I could. And I can’t get you back to the people who love you, which  is why I’ve decided to tell you that I love you myself and hope it makes up some of the difference.” He sighed, and pulled his finger away. “A few more years of solid performance at the Sixth woulda done it, I think, and I coulda done this right.”

“Done it right?” Rukia echoed. 

His shoulders sagged. “Maybe not even then.”

“What are you talking about?”

“I got nothing to offer you Rukia, except my love. But it’s yours, if you want it, for whatever it’s worth.”

Renji looked down at her, trying to gauge her reaction.

Rukia’s face was screwed up into a knot. He had no idea what this meant. “You-- you-- stupid--” And then she stuffed her face into his chest. After a moment, he realized she was sobbing. Well. That hadn’t gone along the best-case scenario, but it wasn’t the worst, either. He pulled her close, and rubbed her back. Might as well comfort her from the pain caused by his own terrible blunderings.

After a moment, she looked up at him, puffy and beautiful. He was sure she was red, too, but it was hard to tell in the moonlight. “Why?” she begged. “Why do you always sell yourself short?” She pulled away from him and climbed to her feet.

He opened his mouth and then realized he didn’t have anything to say. But before he could close it again, Rukia leaned down and kissed him. 

Renji was so surprised that he did a bad job of kissing her back. It was a mess of misaligned mouths and tears and uncoordinated breathing, but at least it was short. 

She pulled away and stared at him. 

It was dark and it was hard to read the expression on her gigai’s face. Had he done anything right? Renji squeezed his eyes closed.

“Let’s go home,” Rukia said, struggling to keep her voice steady.

“Okay. Okay,” Renji agreed painfully, trying to stand, eyes still closed.

“You have to open your eyes,” she reminded him gently as helped him to his feet. “We can’t have you falling in the ocean.”

He laughed, a little nervously, and opened them. “Okay. Let’s go home.”

---

Rukia didn’t let go of his hand all the way home. He didn’t know what it meant.

They walked home in silence. He couldn’t think of anything to say that wouldn’t make matters worse. He didn’t regret telling her. She needed to know. It was out there now, and they would just have to find a way to live around it, the way he had been living around it for so long by himself.

He had left the front light on to come home to, and it made the house look like a firefly in the dark, friendly and welcoming. 

Rukia hung up her jacket, damp from the evening air, stowed her shoes, and wiped the sand off her feet with a towel they kept near the door. Renji lingered, sitting down on the entryway step and taking an overlong time with his first boot. Rukia knelt down, and started to unbuckle the second one. She looked up at him, and saw the pain etched on his face. “Renji,” she said. “Look at me.”

Slowly, bashfully, his eyes met hers.

“I think we’ve had a misunderstanding.”

“I know, and I… I don’t even know what to say. I don’t--”

She put her hands on his knees, and used them to stand up suddenly, catching him with a fierce kiss.

“Mmmmph!” he replied, waving his hands.

She didn’t give in, putting her hands on his neck and running her fingers up in to the rough stubble on the back of his head. She let her body relax, leaning into him. His hands went to her hips, so she wouldn’t knock him over. Finally, she pulled back, and looked into his eyes.

“What,” he asked, utterly perplexed, “was that?”

“Why,” she returned, “do you think I wanted to go home, you absolute moron?”

While the idea percolated through his skull, she crawled onto his lap, settling her knees on either side of his legs, and pushed his jacket off his shoulders onto the floor. “Oh,” he said, as she started kissing his neck. “Oh!”

“You total dumbass,” she managed between kisses. “You perfect idiot.”

“You’re a perfect idiot,” he finally managed, kissing the side of her face. “A perfect, perfect idiot.”

#1500 follower deleted scenes fest #this was the most coherent of the other versions i had #most of them are just slight variations or going in some other direction for and then cutting off because that wasn't working either #if i don't get any 'brothers in arms' requests i'll post that one anyway because it's one of my favs too