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#AND WITH LESSI
georgeinamerc · 3 months
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GUYSSSS CAPTAIN LEAH IN THE STARTING 11 I CANT😭😭😭
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alessiasfreckles · 4 months
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Fitting In
alessia russo x reader with social anxiety
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You've been with the team for a few months, but your anxiety is making it hard to find your place. When you spend lunch hiding out in your car one day, Lessi comes to find you.
A/N: this is my first woso fic, i hope you like it! i'm planning on writing a part two with real fluff, maybe taking place a month or two later. also this is basically just a self insert fic but i figured maybe someone else could relate to it, so this is for all my other girlies with social anxiety and adhd out there
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When you joined the team a few months ago, you weren’t sure how you would fit in. And now, 3 months later, you still weren’t sure.
You had a tendency to over analyse social interactions, situations, anything really, and you knew it didn’t help your social anxiety but there was no way to shut off the constant noise in your brain. At least, not until you met her. Alessia Russo. One of Arsenal’s, and England’s, star strikers. The way she moved on the pitch was like magic, and you swore you could see glitter in the air when she laughed. The crush you had on her grew by the minute. You wanted to at least be friends with her so badly, but you just didn’t know how. 
You still didn’t really have any close friends on the team. Yeah, everyone was friendly, but there were clearly established friend groups, and you didn’t know how to find your place in any of them. When you first joined you would be invited out with everyone, or invited to people’s places for movie nights, that sort of thing. But a lot of the time you felt out of place, so worried about what to say and how you were coming across that the whole situation ended up making you more anxious than if you hadn’t gone in the first place. When you did come out of your shell and say something, you’d spend the rest of the evening thinking about what you said, if it made sense, how you said it, what you should have said instead. 
It was exhausting.
Your sleep schedule was awful, most nights you couldn’t get to sleep until 3am. You’d be lying in bed, desperately trying to sleep but your brain not letting you. You’d wake up feeling groggy, but you didn’t want to let anyone see how badly it was affecting you, so you put on a brave face in front of your teammates. Most days, as soon as training was over, you’d go straight home. You were too tired to do anything other than be alone. 
One day, at lunch, you couldn’t face the thought of trying to figure out where to sit, the overstimulation from everyone talking, the noises and smells, so you decided to sit in your car, alone. You figured that no one would miss you anyway, everyone seemed to have figured out that you were a bit of a loner by now, and they mostly left you alone. 
“Something’s up with y/n, right? It’s not just me?” Leah asked Beth at lunch the next day, scanning the lunch room as she tried to find your face.
“Yeah, but I don’t know what,” Beth shrugged, frowning. “I want to help her, but-”
“Have you guys seen y/n?” Alessia interrupted, coming up from behind them. “She’s not here.”
Leah and Beth both shook their heads. “Maybe she’s in the gym, or on the training field?”. It wasn’t unusual for players to spend their breaks hanging out in other areas, and Alessia nodded.
“I think I’ll go see if I can find her,” she said, and Leah nodded. 
“That’s a good idea, Less. Maybe you can figure out what’s wrong.”
Alessia peeked into the gym, but it was empty. She thought maybe you were walking laps, so she checked the training field, but you weren’t there either. Now she was starting to worry. The two of you hadn’t talked much, but she always listened to what you had to say, and got the feeling that there was a lot more to you than you let on. Deciding to check the car park to see if your car was still there, her face brightened as she found it. When she realised you were sitting inside it, her brow furrowed in confusion. 
You look up from your lunch to see Alessia stood a few metres away from the car, looking at you with a small frown on her face. Is she upset with you? Your eyes meet, and you freeze for a second before raising a hand to wave awkwardly. Her frown clears, and she comes over to the passenger door. 
Knocking on the window and opening the door, she leant down. “Can I come in?” she asked, smiling sheepishly. 
“Uh, yeah, sure!” you reply, sitting up a little straighter, mind racing. Why is she here? What does she want from you? 
“So, um, what are you doing out here?” she asks gently, glancing down at the lunch on your lap.
“Oh, um, sometimes it’s just a lot, you know? Everyone talking and all of the noise. And I never really know where to sit,” you trail off, laughing awkwardly, inwardly cringing at yourself for saying that. 
“I get that. Sometimes some of the girls can be so loud! Like, Katie, didn’t you ever learn what an inside voice is?” she laughs gently, and you smile. “And you know you can sit wherever you want, right? None of us are going to bite you.”
“Haha, yeah, I know, I just…” you shrug, face burning.
Alessia turns to look at you, worry lining her face. “Y/n, is something going on? Has anyone made you feel unwelcome here, or anything?”
“No, everyone’s been so nice, I promise, no one’s done anything,” you start rambling, anxiety rising in your chest as hot tears start to well up in your eyes. You bury your face in your hands. “I’m sorry, this is so embarrassing.”
Suddenly you felt a warm hand on your shoulder, pulling you in to a tight hug. You stiffened to the touch but Alessia’s arms held you gently, and slowly you relaxed into it. 
“It’s okay, it’s okay,” she murmurs, and you feel your breath returning to normal.
After a minute she lets you go and you let out a shaky laugh. “I’m sorry,” you sighed, wiping your eyes.
“Y/n, you don’t need to apologise, it’s okay, I promise,” she says, big blue eyes full of sincerity. “Can you tell me what’s going on?”
You shrug, not knowing what to say. “There isn’t really anything going on, that’s the problem. I just, my brain is just, I feel like everyone else got like, a manual telling them how to exist and how to talk to people and how to have friends, and I didn’t get the manual. You didn’t get a manual, right?” you ask, looking at her with a wry smile.
She smiles apologetically. “Nope, no manual.”
“Well, it was worth asking,” you laugh. “Things just seem to be really hard for me when everyone else finds them easy, you know? And I’m just so tired all the time, but I don’t know why, I barely do anything, I’m so lazy.”
She frowns at that. “You’re not lazy, y/n. Do you get enough sleep?”
You laugh at that. “Oh no, definitely not. Most nights I don’t get to sleep until like, 3am, sometimes 4am.”
“What, why?” she asks in shock. 
“I don’t know,” you shrug. “I just can’t sleep a lot of the time. I try to, I lie in bed with my eyes closed, but there’s just too much going on in my head, it feels like my brain is actively working against me.”
“It’s no wonder you’re so tired then!” she admonishes you gently, and the look she gives you makes you fall for her a little more. 
“I’ve always had trouble sleeping,” you explain. “Ever since I was little. And I’ve always found social situations hard, too.”
“I’ve always hated meeting new people,” the blonde admits, tucking her hair behind her ear. 
“Really?”
“Yeah. It’s gotten a little bit easier, I think, especially after the Euros, I had to do so many interviews and media things, it helped kind of desensitise me to it, but I still don’t like it.”
“Huh,” you say quietly. You never would have guessed that she felt that way. “You always seem so confident.”
“All just a part of my effortlessly cool persona,” she grins, winking at you. You laugh, and she gives you a look of fake hurt. “What, you don’t think I’m effortlessly cool?”
Smiling, you tilt your head. “As long as you believe you’re effortlessly cool, that’s all that counts.” you tease. 
Suddenly, Alessia’s phone buzzes. “Oh, we should probably head back in. The others will be glad to see you, they were worried when you weren’t there at lunch.”
“Really?” you ask, surprise clear in your voice, but it quickly turns to worry. “Oh no, am I not meant to leave during lunch? I’m sorry, I just thought-”
“Woah, hey, relax!” she puts a hand on your arm. “Y/n, you’re allowed to do what you want during lunch. The others were just worried about you because you’re a part of the team. Our team. That makes you a part of our family.” 
You smile sheepishly. 
“Now come on, let’s get going. I don’t fancy giving Jonas an excuse to make us run extra laps, do you?”
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inuyashaluver · 6 months
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spam - alessia russo
alessia russo x reader
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description: in which you always spam your girlfriend’s phone when it’s left unattended around you, she swears it’s annoying until you discover something interesting
warnings: swearing, suggestive
⋆ ★ ⋆ ★ ⋆ ★ ⋆ ★ ⋆
your girlfriend alessia swore she could never leave her phone around you. not because she didn’t trust you, or because you don’t trust her. you spam her phone. you spam her phone so often that alessia swears it’s annoying. however, she’s lying to you because she absolutely loves it.
one day, you and your national team mates were out at dinner, you taking your regular seat in between alessia and ella, making quite a deadly trio.
“I’ll just quickly run to the loo, I’ll be right back”, she places her arm over your chair, giving you a quick peck before disappearing to the bathroom. you smile up at her and watch her leave.
once the coast was clear. you immediately grab her phone that was placed on the table, opening up her camera and taking multiple selfies of yourself in various poses and expressions, you and ella, quickly getting up and taking selfies with the teammates closest to you. you then decide to record a quick video,
“hi lessi baby! I have your phone, uh, I love you! you better keep all those pictures! I don’t know what else to say but yeah! I love you my lessi bear, you’re my favourite just don’t tell anyone”
you end the video by kissing her camera and giving a cheesy grin before placing her phone down. you knew that alessia didn’t check your spams and just deleted them straight away so you weren’t really fazed by your cheesy video. alessia came back and already knew you spammed her phone.
“you’ve done it again, haven’t you?” she moves to whisper in your ear, moving a piece of hair behind your ear. she giggled when you look at her shocked,
“what! no!” you scoff,
“funny how you know what I’m talking about before I even say anything” she squished your cheeks between her hand, forming your lips into a pout and placing a kiss there. “you’re silly, baby” she says lowly, your cheeks blush lightly.
both of you went back to your hotel room, you immediately going to shower.
alessia was bored waiting for you, she pulls out her phone. she rolls onto her stomach, head resting on her chin and slowly kicking her legs back and forth.
she decided to have a look at your daily spam. one of her favourite parts of the day but she would never tell you that.
she smiled so brightly at the phone screen, seeing your cute selfies by yourself and her teammates. she was so in love with you. each photo, she would add to her favourites, as well as her folder labelled “my girl ❤️”. she finally stumbled on your video,
she watched the video once, the biggest smile on her face. she put her head into the pillow and let out a tiny noise of enjoyment. she then takes her head out of the pillow and giggles , watching and replaying the video multiple times.
“hah! you do watch them!” you spoke out in the quiet room, only sounds heard was alessia’s giggles and your voice from your video.
she jumps and turns her phone off, “love, I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“as if russo! I saw you kicking your feet and twirling your hair to me, you don’t need to hide it baby” god you loved this girl, your voice full of affection.
she ran her hands over face, going bright red. you move across the room and move to straddle her waist. you giggle at her, when she squirms under you. too embarrassed that you caught her swooning over you.
“baby,” you coo, “look at me please” she moves her hands, moving to rest them on your exposed thighs, she takes in your appearance, you’re clad with her shorts and wearing her shirt. “oh my god” she groans, closing her eyes and lightly squeezing your thighs.
“what baby?” you question, “you’re killing me, love” she shakes her head, grinning at you. you smile down at her, moving to place a sweet kiss on her lips. before you pull away, she grabs the base of your neck, deepening the kiss. your tongues swirling with each other. you both whine into each others mouths, alessia grins and you pull away from her. hovering your lips over hers,
you peck her lips multiple times before peppering her entire face with little kisses. she giggles when you lean down and whisper sweet nothings in her ear. she moves her hand into your shirt, lightly scratching your back with her nails. you were giving her the love she deserves.
you place a kiss on her pulse point and she immediately switches positions and instead straddles you. she smiles, hovering over you, grasping your cheek in her hand and moving to kiss your cheek, then your forehead, your neck and finally your lips. another short make out session quickly progresses. her hands move to your waist, she squeezes your hips and you whine into her again. this encourages her and before it can go any further, your door almost breaks down.
“I hope you two aren’t fucking! we’re going out for drinks, get ready!” ella bangs on your door in warning. alessia pulls away from you, pupils dilated, both of you messy haired and swollen lipped. “I love you, but we should definitely go before they walk in on something you can’t finish” you say, pressing your finger into her chest,
“remind me to kill tooney?” she kisses your lips quickly and moves off you.
both of you got ready quickly, both of you wearing sunglasses for some fun, wanting to match. as soon as the girls saw you at the club they were at, they immediately made fun of you for being so attached to each other. “look at you two with your glasses, we get it, you’re dating!” ella says, completely in love with her two best friends relationship.
“shut it tooney” alessia smiles, she hands you her bag, “I’ll get us drinks baby, be a good girl and wait here for me” she gives you another quick kiss and you smile at her before immediately grabbing her phone out of the bag.
you put your glasses on for the pictures and spam her phone again, not realising that alessia was coming back quickly, you kept taking the photos in various poses and faces. she walks up behind you kissing your cheek before sliding down her glasses and posing for the photos. you laugh loudly at her. you take your drink and look up at her, “you’re so cute lessi”
she kisses your nose, “you’re cuter my girl, do me a favour and keep taking photos for my collection please” she won't even deny it anymore, shamelessly wanting as much content of you as she can.
she watches as you move around the room with her phone, taking photos with everyone before returning to her. sitting in her lap, wanting to just sit with your girl and take photos. everyone in the team was admiring you two, you were both so clearly in love with each other it was endearing.
alessia adds all her pictures to her folder. when you fall asleep that night, you rest on top of her while she scrolls through your spam, grinning and kissing the top of your head. good thing she has a lot of storage, she loves this more than anything.
⋆ ★ ⋆ ★ ⋆ ★ ⋆ ★ ⋆
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liked by ellatoone and 44,232 others
alessiarusso99: baby girl spams my phone and expects me not to post it @/yourname
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yourname: this is a good one from the collection lessi baby!
↳ alessiarusso99: I love my collection
↳ yourname: trust me I know baby 😉
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chrlvctius · 7 months
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Leah running to lessi 😭💗
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wileys-russo · 3 months
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1. less is giving strooong grandad vibes with this comfy lil fit and her smile is insane. 2. Myle has NO idea who aunty lessi is and has never met her before these photos, hence the slightly terrified expression
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nevertheless-moving · 3 months
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Au where instead of lessie going off the rails and getting corrupted by trell she instead goes off the rails and decides to just tell wax everything
Climbs in his window after her funeral "Hey wax- stop screaming its just me- your eulogy sucked, rusting Wayne's was better."
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reminiscingtonight · 9 months
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The friendship none of us knew we needed
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hedghost · 10 months
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Please can you write about Alesia having the hots for the girl cleaning her pool😩just something about her wearing sunglasses to try to hide the fact she keeps staring the pool girls abs
alessia russo / hot and bothered
amidst her heavy football schedule, alessia rarely got a day to just relax, and so she relished her occasional time off, and none more so than when she got the chance to go back to her family home in italy.
just the chance to do nothing at all, to relax into the familiar motions of a place she knew well, where she could spend all day sunning herself by the pool, or chilling inside with her family, only really moving once the sun had gone down. it was easy, and it was uncomplicated, and thats why she loved it.
or at least, it was usually uncomplicated. normally, there were no unwanted distractions from her dedicated rest and relaxation time. today, though, as she tanned on a sunbed on the patio, something else had caught her attention. someone else.
as much as she didn’t want to, alessia tended to rise early. despite being on holiday, she still had to keep her body clock in some sort of rhythm, and so, far earlier than she would’ve liked, she extricated herself from her sheets, haphazardly threw on a bikini, and padded downstairs in such of something to keep her occupied until everyone else woke up.
no one else seemed to be awake, and so alessia grabbed herself a drink and headed out to the pool. at this hour, the sun was not yet at its peak, and the heat wasn’t unbearable, so she figured she’d be able to grab both a bit of extra sleep and a tan.
alessia wasn’t really paying attention to where she was going, still half asleep and precariously balancing a coffee in one hand as she navigated the edge of the pool, and so she only noticed she had company when she tripped over her own two feet. she braced herself for a rather watery impact, but it never came.
instead, alessia found herself staring, dumbfounded, into the eyes of potentially the prettiest girl she’d ever seen.
stai bene? you asked as you righted alessia, strong hands gently tugging her away from the water’s edge.
alessia’s italian was a little rusty, sure, but she knew enough to understand that phrase. still though, she only swallowed, cheeks flushing as she flicked between not wanting to look away and wanting to bury her head in the proverbial sand.
when she didn’t respond, you repeated yourself in english.
you alright?
alessia blushed. great - now you probably thought she was stupid, as well as clumsy. nice going less.
alessia swallowed, her throat considerably dryer than it had been before. she pulled her gaze away from your eyes, which were twinkling with a sort of gentle bemusement that alessia suddenly wanted to bask in forever.
sorry, i- uh, yeah alessia exhaled as her composure regained itself, smiling softly as she nodded yeah, i’m fine, sorry, are you?
it occurred belatedly to alessia that she probably should’ve asked in italian, and she cursed her ineptitude around pretty girls once again. her worries subsided however when you answered easily in fluent english, flashing her a glinting smile.
yeah, i’m all good
alessia nodded but didn’t move from where she stood, still facing you. her mind raced with ways not to end the conversation, although she perhaps should’ve been instead questioning why exactly a strange girl was walking around her pool at 8 in the morning. in hindsight, it was a good thing you weren’t a burglar, because alessia would’ve been of no use whatsoever, seemingly lovestruck as she was.
you rubbed the back of your neck with a grin, gesturing to the pool awkwardly and looking at her with an expectant smirk. it was only then that alessia tore her eyes from your face, down to the mass of pool cleaning equipment you gripped in your arms. very toned, bronze arms, alessia noted with a blush, before she mentally slapped herself.
oh! right, you’re here to clean the pool?
that’s me, you said with a grin. alessia flushed - was the sun getting hotter, or was it the fact you still hadn’t broken eye contact that was riling her up like this? you pointed past alessia towards the water again.
may i? i don’t want to disturb your morning
alessia nodded and stepped to the side to allow you past. she watched you walk away, swallowing at how your back muscles rippled under the vest you wore. a little awkwardly she called after you.
yeah, you’re fine!
you turned to her, smirking, one eyebrow raised in silent question. alessia scrambled to explain. god she was so bad at this.
i mean like, you’re fine, as in it’s fine, like, it’s not - you’re not disturbing me. she felt her cheeks flush and she trailed off rather lamely- is what i mean
mercifully though, you laughed and nodded. even from the increased distance between you, alessia could feel the intensity of your eyes, felt pierced in the best way possible by your gaze. you turned and set to work.
alessia, still reeling giddily from the interaction, settled herself on a nearby sun lounger. pulling her sunglasses down over her eyes, she sipped absentmindedly at her coffee. she tried to read her book (honestly, she did) but soon gave up after her eyes flicked over the same paragraph for the fourth time.
she was trying to ration herself to only the occasional glance up at you working, but clearly your body demanded more attention than her brain could handle. she kept her eyes trained on the book, trying to distract herself, but you were all she could focus on right now.
allowing herself the grace to sneak a look up once more, alessia nearly choked on her drink. you’d removed your vest, leaving you in only a bikini top and very small shorts. glad for the cover of her sunglasses, alessia took in your toned abs, the slight sheen of sweat that clung to them as you worked in the morning heat.
alessia thought she was being subtle, that she was totally not obvious as she shamelessly checked you out. she wasn’t sure how long she watched, not thinking of much other than how your fingers gripped your equipment, the way your biceps flexed as you worked, how it might feel to be gripped those fingers, be held by those arms-
stop it alessia. you don’t even know her.
she was so preoccupied with watching you (and the rather detailed thoughts that watching you provoked) that she didn’t notice your laugh, or the way you cleared your throat one, two times.
everything okay?
you called, grinning at how alessia jumped and averted her eyes. you smirked. alessia tried to stutter a response but you just laughed goodnaturedly, walking over to her sunlounger.
the sunglasses could only hide so much. they didn’t hide her blush. you pointed it out to her with a smile.
you’re a bit pink, would you like some sun lotion?
if alessia had thought she couldn’t talk before, this was a whole new level. the stuttered squeak she let out was so unlike her that it only set her off blushing madly again.
you produced, out of god knows where, a bottle of sunblock, and gestured to alessia’s shoulders.
may i?
alessia could only nod - surely this was some very steamy dream? or had she stumbled into the set of a cliche romance film?
alessia flinched slightly as the cold cream touched her back. at least that was the excuse she was going with. definitely nothing to do with the gentle yet firm touch of your fingers as you massaged the cream gently over her back, the way your touch was like static shock, sending currents of need all throughout her body. nope, definitely not.
she felt like she was combusting, like every vein inside her was screaming with equal measures unadulterated pleasure and crushing embarrassment. taking a deep breath, alessia allowed herself instead to relax into your hands- to relax into this insanely attractive situation she’d magically found herself in. as bizarre as it was, she had no complaints.
alessia barely realised when you stopped, too blissfully unaware of what was going on. it was only when you walked around to face her that she regained some semblance of self-control. finding her voice, she spoke, thankfully able to string words together now.
thank you
you smiled, shrugging as you did so.
not a problem, wouldn’t want you to burn
just like that you stood, beginning to gather your various pieces of cleaning equipment.
oh, are you leaving?
yep, all done for the day, then you turned back to alessia and winked- show’s over i’m afraid
alessia blushed again. okay so maybe she hadn’t been that subtle. mercifully, you didn’t seem annoyed. in fact, the smile you flashed her was borderline encouraging to her fantasies. you waved as you turned, calling over your shoulder with a borderline devilish smirk.
same time tomorrow?
alessia grinned. she leaned back on the sun lounger feeling considerably hot and bothered, and also maybe a little smug. it looked like she’d found her early morning entertainment for the holiday.
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urdrowning · 1 year
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Alessia old tweets reappear of her crushing one the reader
got inspired by alessia’s old facebook posts 🤍 thank u for the request!!
fangirl / a. russo
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“can you believe that he would do that to his own wife?”
alessia exclaims to you in shock. you mumble something of agreement having not paid attention.
you’re both currently lying in bed, enjoying your well earned day off together. there was some random youtube video playing on the TV which alessia was engrossed in for whatever reason. you on the other hand were mindlessly scrolling through social media, only half paying attention to the video on the TV.
you’re currently scrolling through twitter, deciding to interact with some of your supporters and be as nosy as possible until you stumble upon a post on your feed.
‘i cant believe alessia did all this and still managed to pull y/n 😭’
huh? alessia did what? you tap on the tweet and realise it’s linked to a thread of tweets. in this thread is a series of screenshots that instantly makes you fight back a laugh as your heart bursts with love.
Alessia Russo (alessiarusso7) 12/02/19
‘y/n scoring a hat trick ugh nom x’
now it’s no secret that alessia was.. a big fan of you before you started dating, despite only being a year older than her, she was an avid supporter of your professional career.. but this was new. you sit up slightly, your interest now piqeud, and proceed to scroll through the thread in search of more screenshots.
Alessia Russo (alessiarusso7) 27/12/18
‘I need y/n to tackle me to the floor like she did ⠀ to that city player 😮‍💨😮‍💨’
this one makes you audibly laugh, causing alessia to turn and face you questioningly as she softly asks what you’re laughing about.
“just something i saw on twitter babe, no worries”
she nods lightly and smiles at you, grabbing your hand in her own as she turns her attention back to the TV, a new video is playing now. you turn your attention back to your phone and read the next tweet.
Alessia Russo (alessiarusso7) 18/03/19
‘The villa player tackling y/n like that?? GET ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀YOUR HANDS OFF MY WOMAN!!! Y/N QUICK ⠀ ⠀GET BEHJND ME 😵😤🤯’
this one makes you break. you throw your head back in a laugh and lose grip of your phone. alessia’s head shoots towards you. she’s about to ask what you’re laughing at again before she catches a glimpse of your phone.
“what on earth..”
she leans in and takes a closer look at the screen and her stomach drops. she pauses her movements in shock and completely pales. you quickly grab your phone back in your hands and continue to laugh.
“y/n no, please stooooopppppp”
she whines in embarrassment, reaching over you, clawing for her phone as you clutch it out of her reach, rolling around in laughter.
“want me to sign your shirt, less?”
this causes her to groan even more as she begins to climb on top of you and playfully wrestle you for your phone.
you’re never gonna let her live this down.
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onna0 · 7 months
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😍
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samkerrworshipper · 3 days
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they’re so baby girl
the babygirlest of all baby girls
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marvelousmagicalaura · 3 months
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Thoughts on Mistborn: Shadows of Self
Shadows of Self is incredibly great, heartbreaking, and thought-provoking!
I'm hurt and confused. And I'm not sure how to feel, and I love it for that. Shadows of Self is completely different than its preceding book. It is different from even the Mistborn trilogy. There are themes of the stagnation of political systems, religious tension, the ethics and morals of what line God should, could, might have on interfering with the lives of his creations. After finishing off the book, I genuinely had no idea what to think about Harmony, Trell's puppeteering, Bleeder's campaign, or the state of Elendel.
Something that annoyed me about Era 2's books off the bat was the noble system. There's no state sponsored murder or rape, and the nobles are more like businessmen. But it still felt like nothing changed over the last 340 years. I kept thinking... wow, this is what Kelsier died for?! This is what Vin and Elend fought to protect?! I started off hating everyone - Harmony, the Senate, constables, Wax, even Spook - for not erasing the noble system. But while reading the book I kept thinking about Sazed's limitations due to wielding the Shard of Harmony, his stance on free will, his subtle maneuvering of Wax and Marasi... and kept thinking about real life. I came to the realization that being in the role of God comes with a lot of nuance on guiding mortals. I connected the stagnation of Elendel back to the history of the US... how even though centuries has passed, many abhorrent systems are masked by seemingly more human systems. Governments are still being controlled by nobles and aristocrats, just in a different flavor. Policing has so many issues it could take 1000 years to solve.
Even after finishing the book, I still think the noble system should've been completely erased. But now I'm thinking if that would've fundamentally changed things. The US doesn't have monarchs, nobles, slave plantations, or aristocrats. But corporations, billionaires, politicians, and the upper class get away with a lot, they find ways to obtain power and avoid accountability. Would Harmony be right if he gave the divine mandate of "I DECREE NO NOBLES FOR ALL OF TIME!" At that point is free will a choice?
I started off blaming Harmony for not making a democratic world with no nobles. Ended off having… weird feelings about him. Like... MeLann brings up a great point about the kandra impersonating witnesses to testify against people. If Harmony allowed that, that could be a dangerous precedent.
But then there's Bleeder. Bleeder is easily my favorite antagonist in the series. She's incredibly competent, her body horror is gruesome horrific, and her climax is depressingly tragic. May she rest in the Beyond. Poor Wax. This is the thing that has me feeling weird about Harmony. This hurts cuz of Sazed. Fuck Sazed. Fuck Sazed. I knew Harmony would’ve become a Chessmaster, but not like this. Sazed isn’t supposed to manipulate people. Sazed isn’t supposed to cause trauma to people 😭😢💔💔
But Sazed is, unfortunately, the Hero of Ages. Harmony seems to be foreseeing a great disaster caused by Trell. I’m pretty sure he’s trying to thread towards a future possibility that will save Scadrial from this disaster. He must think about the future of the entire world. It hurts that he moved Wax this way, but would there really have been any difference if he left Wax completely alone? The Set - puppets of a Shard of Adonalsium - would've subtly caused turmoil on Elendel. What if he told Wax he was hunting Lessie? TenSoon said it himself. Harmony saw the future, saw that Wax wouldn't go through with it. Bleeder - another puppet of a Shard - would've succeeded in her goals. Sure he could've maneuvered someone else, but it opens a new can of worms!
I love the hints of Trell being a far scarier antagonist than it appears. I love the advancements and possibilities of Hemalurgy Trell is responsible for. Shadows of Self does a far better job than The Hero of Ages presenting gray morality in the motives and plans of gods. It also does a far better job at presenting a smart and clever antagonistic deity. I think with the conflict between Ruin and Preservation, Sanderson wrote many things that made Ruin appear too much like "the bad guy." He can say Preservation has a dark side, but we never saw it. The one reprehensible thing Preservation could've been completely responsible for - the Deepness killing people - ended up being the result of his frayed mind. He could've been solely responsible for the Deepness covering the Sun and killing plants, but that ended up being caused by Ruin. Ruin spoke with too much malice and joy of killing all life and destroying everything. Apart from his attributes being fundamental aspects of life and the Universe, there was no possible way I could've seen his stance as having any sort of value. Sanderson also wrote too many things that made Ruin's planning so far behind Preservation's. Preservation felt like a Xanatosian genius even on his deathbed. Ruin was a petulant child. Ruin wasn't kind, or patient, or particularly clever, or have long-spanning schemes when Sanderson presented him in the spotlight. Don't even get me started on his futuresight lmao. And tbh I don’t get why Sanderson wrote a being of death and destruction as the opposite of stasis and stability. Is he trying to say in life and creation, everything either stays the same or everything dies?
I know that wasn’t his intent, but it came across that way. It’s haphazard in retrospect, and I don’t understand why that was the direction after the beauty of Kelsier’s rebellion. I still love the concept of Ruin and Preservation’s conflict, but I think it could’ve been much more developed. More nuanced. Ruin could’ve been far more of a Chessmaster or represented a different concept.
With Harmony and Trell... I'm not as certain who's the good or bad guy. And so far, Trell's schemes are genuinely complex, layered, and terrifying. Even the Set are scary.
Marasi grew a lot, as expected. Wayne didn't grow but he was still so much fun. Love the new dynamic of Wayne and MeLaan, who's also pretty great. ARADEL IS A MAN!!!
There wasn't much of Steris this book. But she vastly improved in such a short time! Feels like she hides a lot but is actually a warm person. Look at the ending 🥺
Well done, Sanderson. I give Shadows of Self ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️/5.
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kamotecue · 13 days
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this is THE alessia russo. england’s star girl.
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chrlvctius · 7 months
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lessi's so tall 😭😭 AHAHHAHAHAHAHA
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notsoattractivearenti · 9 months
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the closing goal of today’s match that secured the spot in the final 🦁❤️‍🔥
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vivstenius · 9 months
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