#ARGGHEHHHHHHHRHRHHRHRRRR

[jrueships]

the monthly apathy is back, rlly sorry if i said smthing to u and then u say smthing back and i don't respond for like a thousand years only to spam u after it passes and then u respond bcs ure awesome and i go on an unspoken vow of silence for yet another thousand years and the cycle just continues

#hard to will myself to just brush my teeth #it's so fucking annoying having these highs and lows and never a middleground bcs it's like #which one is actually me?? #i feel like none of them are really #when im feeling high energy i act extra confident and funny showman #but as soon as i stop i just feel huge regret and embarrassment over it #but im also so lifeless and feel like i can only say a lot if it's abt smthing negative bcs i can feel more deeply when im low #but it's only abt dark intense stuff #and when im in my highs i just dont have the attention span to care abt deep anything #it's like im either soaring in the sky or drowning in the sea #im never just On Land #like i cant just enjoy Earth #it's so fucking aggravating #' i would love to have high energy highs tho bcs i would be able to get sooo much done' #yea. it seems like a lot. until u realize it's literally just flighty-ass attempts at catching up on being a half human #trying to do all the stupid shit u somehow found aggravating difficult to even think abt doing during 1 of ur lows #like . why am i having to try and make a mental note to myself on... responding to. compliments. #when im in a higher energy mood #like. why cant i just #ARGGHEHHHHHHHRHRHHRHRRRR #anyways yea srry abt all the asks piling up and then me asking for more anyways and all the texts on read