Finding out
TW: angst!! mentions of abortion, teen pregnancy, harry being a cutie
Harry decided to head straight for y/n's apartment. It was only 8 pm, and he knew that her parents were rarely home before 11 pm. He needed to sort this out, if she wanted out, then he needed to see, he couldn't trap her in a relationship knowing she didn't want to be there. But when he got to her place, climbed up the three flights of fire escapes, he wasn't at all prepared for what sat in front of him.
Sat alone, in her dark room, was y/n. It wasn't the fact she was a messy, crying, greasy blob that concerned him, it was the other part of the scene in front of him. A laptop, brought up with a, surely unsafe, website on 'how to perform a safe abortion at home', explicit step-by-step instructions, multiple pills in her hand, and steam flowing out of her en-suite. There was a terrified look in her eyes, he knew it. It made him want to cry.
He rapped on the window gently, to not already scare her frightened state, but to no avail. She turned around with the most chilling look he had ever seen. She was terrified. She shut her laptop and threw the pills back into the packet they came in. Before wiping her eyes and looking back over to the window, hoping, praying to the gods she knew didn't exist, that he wasn't actually at her window. But he was. And he saw everything.
He pushed open her window, climbing inside cautiously.
"Wh-what are you doing?" He stuttered out, already knowing the answer, but still petrified to hear it. He had never sounded so unsure, so pained as he had just then in his life.
She opened her mouth and closed it, like a fish out of water, completely ignorant in what to say.
"You shouldn't be here, I told you, I'm ill," she managed to get out after a few seconds of silence. Her voice was so quiet, so sore, so pained, he almost wretched at the sound.
"Y/n, love, tell me what's going on, tell me what you were doing." He knew, but he didn't want to believe it, he didn't want it to be true, for it to be his reality, or more so, their reality.
She opened her mouth again, but all that came out were sobs this time. Heartbreaking, gut wrenching sobs, that shook her whole frame.
His arms flew to her, encasing her in a tight hug, resting his shaking hand on her hair, softly stroking it. She felt like an idiot, she knew he would find out, that this would happen, and the fact she knew all this made it so much worse now that it was happening. Harry started to cry quietly, his eyes shedding salty liquid which quickly met her hair, as her body shook.
They stood like that for a few minutes, Harry brokenly whispering a few shushes, and gentle, "it's okay's," into her hair. He had never felt true heartbreak until that moment, and he wished with every fibre in him to make it all better.
"I'm, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, Harry, please I'm so sorry, I-I don't even know what I was doing, I just, Harry, I'm so sorry." She continued to sob. Harry continued to tell her it was going to be okay, but in all truth, he had no idea what the future held, if they really were going to be okay.
-
He sat them down on her bed, continuing to stroke her hair while she calmed down. He was so, so... he didn't even know. He couldn't deal with his emotions, he had to focus on y/n, on taking care of her.
After a few more minutes, y/n began to calm down, she stopped sobbing, quieting to a few hiccups and sniffles. Harry had decided now was not the time to bring it up, he would take care of her first and then talk to her.
"Why don't we get you into the bath? Get you all cleaned up, yeah?" She nodded, her frame folding in on herself, knowing what she was using the bath for before he stumbled across her.
"Before that though, are you safe?" He hated he had to question that, it broke him even more inside, "have you taken anything or done anything yet?" His voice broke.
She shook her head, overly embarrassed, mortified even. She knew he was looking out for her, but this was some next-level shit, stuff they had never thought they would go through together.
Harry signed in relief, ever so grateful he had the conversation with Gemma when he did.
He walked her over to the bathroom, clearing the countertop of extra 'equipment' she would have used. He didn't know it could, but his heart broke further.
"I will, um, I'll leave you to get changed, yeah? I'll be at the door if you need anything." Y/n nodded and began to undress. She had never felt so ashamed. Once her clothes were off, she slipped into the bath. Harry, upon hearing the water splash, came back in, looking at her small body in sadness.
He grabbed a cup and the shampoo and poured some into his hand. He poured water over her scalp, gently wetting her hair before beginning to massage the honey-scented shampoo into her hair.
" I know you probably don't want to talk about it love, but, could you tell me what's going on?" Harry calmly asked, although the crack in his voice and shaking of his hands gave him away.
"I mean, I guess, I don't know, where am I supposed to start?" She took a breath, calming herself before continuing. "I was uh feeling sick, and I was getting these um, these weird symptoms so I, so I googled them and it came up with, you know, pregnancy, so um, I took a um test and uh, it um came up positive, so I uh I don't know, I guess I thought um," a bubble rose in her through as she tried to continue before looking down. She hated that she was crying, for feeling so weak, even though she knew she had the right to feel like that. Tears started to flow again as she continued, "I didn't want to worry you I guess? You have so much going on, I mean A levels and studying and all that, and I thought you would freak and be embarrassed and not want to be with me anymore, and I know that's not true, that's not you, but uh I don't know, I wasn't thinking rationally, I wasn't thinking properly. I decided this was my best option, this way I was the only one involved, I was the only one at fault." She finished her ramble, eyes closed as tears continued to ebb.
"Y/n, love, I'm so sorry," was all Harry could manage. As one could imagine, he was torn, he had no idea what to do, on how to comfort you, on how to react. He had no clue.
They spent the rest of the bath in silence. He got her out, wrapped her in a towel, dried her hair, got her dressed and placed her delicately in bed. He wanted to stay, but he didn't know if he should. Y/n having sensed the inner turmoil scooted over in her bed, creating a Harry-like shape for him. He smiled, albeit sadly, but smiling nonetheless, and took off his clothes down to his boxers, and slid in. She gently cuddled him, he held her like a fragile piece of china, ready to break at any moment, to drift off into a restless sleep.
"I love you y/n, I will always love you."
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