#GUESS WHAT PART I HIT IN BLACK POWDER WAR LOL CAN U GUESS WHO IS MY FAVORITE CHARACTER AKDSJFH

[onawhimsicot]

continuing with the BPW reread...

ohhhh the way Laurence cuts right to Tharkay's core, pushing past all of Tharkay's airs and attempts to brush past it with, "I think you like to be doubted". And Tharkay still having this sardonic, defensive tone as he explains himself BUT his hand is shaking ever so slightly and for the first time, he's slipping to the point that Laurence can recognize his expression for what it is: a mask badly put-on. Because racing through the streets of Istanbul and then being pulled into this conversation aside, he was probably already upset and feeling raw and vulnerable after being told about Sara's engagement.

For all that Tharkay is explaining why he treats people this way, he is saying, almost as plainly as possible, that he is so so so very lonely. And that's the crux of it, isn't it? He could bear being an outcast, but he can't bear being lonely. And now he doesn't even have Sara or her family who cared about him enough to be apologetic and try to break the news to him with gentle sympathy, so he's never going to return to Istanbul again because now he has no one at all.

And then...and then Tharkay realizes that no, Laurence has never in fact treated him like how the others do, except for when he deserved it. And despite everything, Laurence still wants to be allies. And how what Laurence is asking is not really, "Will you listen to my command from now on," but more "I want to trust you because I think you are worthy of being trusted, of being known. Will you allow me to trust you?"

and Tharkay putting on flippant airs and yet, in the same breath, grabbing on to Laurence's hand firmly with the utmost sincerity...tharkay........

#GUESS WHAT PART I HIT IN BLACK POWDER WAR LOL CAN U GUESS WHO IS MY FAVORITE CHARACTER AKDSJFH #godddddddddddddd obviously i loved this scene when i first read it but i dont think i noticed just HOW vulnerable Tharkay is in it ;__; #rereading them dragon books #temeraire liveblog #reading log