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bucksboobs · 1 month

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On their way to a fire, Buck opens his big mouth and says something very stupid. Not an unusual occurrence but this one is unique: “Hey, Hen? Can I ask you a gay people question?”

Hen side-eyes him. “Are you sure now’s the best time?” The engine shakes on its suspension.

Buck blusters forward. “So Tommy and I have been dating a month and a half now.” The mention of Tommy grabs both Chim and Eddie’s attention.

“Wait, really?” Chim asks, Hen’s not sure if he thought it was shorter or longer than that. His memory of time seems to be the worst hit by the encephalitis.

“2 months next Thursday.” Eddie says.

“Y-yeah… that’s right.” Buck raises his eyebrows at Eddie. The rest all stare, Hen included. Those two have always been locked at the hip but knowing each other’s anniversaries seems excessive. Buck seems to agree.

“How do you know that?” She asks.

“Their first date was the same day I asked Marisol to move in with me.”

“When did Marisol move in with you?” Hen and Chimney ask in unison. Last she heard about Marisol she had only just met Chris, moving in seemed a long way off for them. Since when was she living with him?

“She didn’t” Bobby answers, giving his sternest glare to the rear view mirror. Hen knows this means she’s in charge of keeping these fools in check so he can focus on driving.

“Yeah we decided against that. Anyway Buck you were talking about Tommy?” Hen stifles a laugh. There was a story there she was going to have to wring out of Bobby because Eddie’s deflection abilities are legendary.

“Yeah so- um- ho-how long before we can uh…”Hen cocks her head. What exactly is Buck after with Tommy right now, they’re not nearly to the point of I love yous and she doesn’t think Buck would be this nervous about dating advice. “I mean how long did you and Karen wait until you, uh” Oh.

“Had sex?” Hen asks bluntly.

“Whoa, you and Tommy haven’t had sex yet?” Chimney asks, astonished.

“Buck when’s the last time you waited this long with anyone?” Eddie asks with a cocked eyebrow.

“Never? Maybe high school?” That tracks.

“Or Abby.” Chim offers. Buck winces at that. She knows that woman did him dirty, looks like the scar still aches.

“Six minutes to ETA.” Comes from the drivers seat. “5 and a half…” Bobby takes a sharp turn that shakes the whole truck. “5 minutes.”

“So how do I ask him to fuck me.”

A chorus of “BUCK!” rings through the truck. Eddie looks petrified at the idea of his best friends having sex with each other, Chim looks exhausted with his brother-in-law of barely a month and look, Hen would give the world to see this kid happy but sometimes he’s just too stupid for his own good.

“Buck. I think you need to remember Tommy doesn’t have a lot of experience in this area either.”

“He doesn’t?”

“Did you forget he’s only been out as long as you’ve been at the 118?” Hen learned that about Tommy from Buck’s gushing the day after the wedding. She’d also talked to him in a fluorescent lit waiting room after the most gorgeous hospital ceremony she’s ever been a part of, so she’s aware that he’s not used to being with men that want more than just sex from him. “He might think you’re just as nervous as he is.”

“I didn’t know he got nervous.”

Chim huffs at that. “Next time you see him ask him to tell you a story about a rooster.” That makes Hen smile.

“He probably won’t believe you’re ready until you can talk to him about it.”

“I don’t— I-it usually just kind of happens. You get a look, there’s a nod, they look at your lips and lean in…”

“Yeah but that was women who knew what they wanted and what you wanted. Tommy won’t know unless you tell him what you’re ready for.”

“So to get him to fuck me I have to tell him to fuck me?”

“Jesus, Buck. Yes.” Hen laughs. They are, thankfully, finally pulling to site so she doesn’t have to enumerate exactly how he needs to ask. If she did she’d have to explain birds and bees that she is not the best person to explain.

“Come on, kids, let’s save some lives.” Bobby calls as he pulls the parking break.

The fire looks pretty bad, two story house, they’ll have to split up by floor. As they gear up Buck says, privately, off-mic. “Thanks Hen, you’re a good Gay Yoda”

“Do him or do not, there is no try.”

#Henrietta Wilson #Evan Buckley #BuckTommy #little ficlet of the wlw/mlm solidarity that I couldn’t get out of my head #I tried Hen PoV let me know what you think!!!

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mvltisstuff · 8 months

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hi!! could you possibly do a one-shot where buck and reader are flirting during the dosed episode? like they get high and are handcuffed and are just giggling and flirting and then accidental confession or something and then the next day they’re just like “i’m pretty sure we’re dating now..” thank you so so much!! this idea just made me giggle so <33

you get me so high - e.b

summary: request

evan buckley x reader

gif does not belong to me

a/n: i adore this idea, thank you for sharing <3 i worked on this very sporadically, and i’m not the biggest fan of it but i hope you enjoy!

whoever brought those brownies in was an angel to y/n. yeah, a felony for sure, but she’d be lying if she said she didn’t secretly enjoy it.

even though the whole station had been haunted by taylor and her team the entire day, all of the worries of the job seemed to vanish. buck wasn’t sure why, but he just saw everything different than he has before. nature called for him and he was more than excited to be at his job.

he just wanted to laugh at everything, each little girl in front of him was the most adorable thing he’s ever seen. he watched y/n from across the room, sitting on the floor and playing with a girl in a massive dress shaped like a pastry.

“where did you get this dress?” she asks, running her fingers down the satin on the side.

“my mommy bought it for me!”

“can she buy one for me?” y/n asks, turning her head to see the grown firefighter skipping over.

“y/n!” he shoots out quickly, jogging over to lean next to her on the ground.

“hi buck! will you buy me a dress like this?”

“only if you buy me one,” he smiles. “maybe we should put bobby in one.” he starts completely laughing at the thought of bobby in a pretty pink dress, with a sash and a tiara.

“what is going on- buck!” chim shouts. “can someone help us over here?”

“how are we not helping?” buck asks, leading y/n to just shrug. they glance over at eddie in the corner, looking at all the pageant girls like they have 5 heads. he almost looks fearful of them, swaying in his spot.

the next few minutes were a blur, and suddenly they were all handcuffed together against a wall. hen, eddie, buck, and y/n were all connected by their hands, being watched by athena like they misbehaved at school.

“ooh, you made him cry!” buck teases, looking at the tears streaming down eddie’s face. y/n just looks closer to athena’s face.

“you’re a hot cop, thena,” y/n speaks airily, just smiling cheekily at the officer in front of her.

“you guys are high as hell and you’re on duty.”

“what?” hen exclaims. “i didn’t smoke anything-“

“well you ate something! someone brought marijuana brownies into the station, so you’re all off work.”

the team just looks around in shock, not fully caring until y/n and buck start giggling once more. “just- just sit down against this wall, and do not move.” athena demands, walking away to deal with the other emergency in the main room.

y/n and buck sat fine against the wall, comparing hands and very lightly slapping each other on the sides. a few spouts of silence would happen for a few minutes while the group of stoners just watched the world pass in front of them.

“buck,” y/n whispers.

“what?” he asks.

“you’re really cute, like i just figured i’d let you know.”

“thanks, you’re a cutie, too,” she giggles at his words, throwing her head back against the wall as he just glances at her. normal, sober buck would’ve had a racing heart and nerves fluttering all over his body because she told him he was cute. he knows he’s not bad looking, but hearing it from her is when he truly believes it. now, he just figured why not? yolo, anyway.

“no, you’re like cute cute. like hot oiled up firefighter cute.”

“that means so much, y/n,” he says, the sly remark almost making his heart clench.

“i want you under my christmas tree.”

“well, i want you in an easter egg for me.”

“well, i want you-“

“can you just shut up?” eddie asks, still distressed about being handcuffed and drugged. “we get it, you’re into each other. and what happens when you’re not high?”

“i don’t remember talking to you,” buck teases, giving eddie a side eye but keeping his head directed towards the pretty girl next to him.

“alright,” athena comes back into sight. “let’s get you all home, maybe sleep off some of this.”

the next morning, y/n remembered every little thing she said to buck, and he remembered every little thing he said to her. they hoped maybe it was like alcohol, making them forget what they may or may not have said, but nope. it was clear as day. it didn’t feel as awkward, though. it felt easier. like a weight was off their shoulders after being weighed down for so long.

when they both arrived at work, the look from the other just told them everything they had to know. buck meant everything he said, and so did she. her eyes lightly wandered over his, and he didn’t even make her say anything. they both knew that those cookies made a great thing burst open.

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mellaithwen · 2 months

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To hum and sway (bucktommy, 1.4k words)

[read on ao3]

Spoilers/Spec-fic for 7x06 "There Goes The Groom" After the wedding that wasn’t, and the wedding that was, after the search, and the rescue, and the drama of the day, Buck finds himself sitting in the hospital waiting room when Tommy turns up...

Now that Chimney’s been moved out of the ICU, the hospital staff have kindly set up a cot bed in his room for Maddie to get some rest beside him, while Buck stands—or rather–-sits sentry outside. While his sister clearly couldn’t have predicted she’d be reading out her vows standing between a heart-rate monitor and an IV stand, Buck’s just glad she was able to read them out to Chim at all.

A nurse shuffles past Buck down the corridor, and he pulls his legs back from where they’d been obnoxiously extended in his late-night exhaustion. He runs a hand through his hair, grimacing at the bright fluorescent lights of the waiting room before stretching his neck and shoulders until he hears a satisfying pop.

His hands clench into tight fists on either side of the chair he’s sat in, and he grips them tightly until his knuckles are white and the pain of his own nails digging into the flesh of his palms is enough to distract the guilt spiral he’s been fending off all day.

Maddie and Chimney will get their big-day. Buck will make sure of it. They’ll have the party that they rightly deserve, surrounded by their friends and family. A happy day, a calm day. The quiet, intimate ceremony in their own back garden that they’d wanted all along before losing track of the guestlist.

But that would be later. When they were both ready, and recovered. At least for now they got to wear the rings. At least they got to call each other husband and wife.

Finally.

“Evan?” Buck’s head shoots up from where he’d been lying back, leaning his heavy head against the wall.

There were so few people who called him by his given name nowadays...

His parents had long since left to do what they referred to as “damage control” with the guests and venue—since the rest of the 118 were more concerned with Maddie and Chimney than appeasing distant relatives who had traveled just so gosh darn far, Evan.

He’d corrected Bobby almost instantly on that first day so many years ago, that his name was Buck, and besides, his captain was currently driving Mr and Mrs Lee back home for the evening after spending so many hours in the same holding pattern of he’s stable—that’s the main thing—until Chimney had finally woken up and insisted with a raspy voice, that his Captain marry he and Maddie right then, right now...

And Eddie? Eddie had only ever called him Evan the once.

(Buck would be lying if he said he didn’t think about that moment often…)

But no, it wasn’t him either; Eddie was with Hen, roaming the corridors for a vending machine that worked until Bobby came back to bully them all into finally getting into his truck and going home. So that just left…

“Tommy? W-what are you—?”

“I came as soon as I heard he’d been found. How’s Howie doing? How’s your sister?”

Buck’s brain struggles to keep up, his software in need of an update—Tommy’s here, standing in front of him. In the hospital corridor. Buck’s phone was god knows where, and with Chimney missing and his sister losing her mind with worry, he hadn’t had a chance to think about the fact he’d accidentally ghosted his date. But here he was. Standing in front of Buck like a guardian angel who’d done more than his own fair share to help in the search—all the while still wearing the clothes he’d put on as Buck’s plus one to the wedding that never happened that morning.

This is probably the closest thing to flustered he’s seen Tommy look the whole time he’s known him, and if the circumstances were different Buck thinks he would have found it endearing—but his head’s too much of a mess to even go there right now. The soft blue shirt he’s wearing is rumpled now but Buck just knows it would have been pressed and clean to start with. The slacks and matching suit jacket are both a wooly kind of mauve. Buck thinks it would have been nice to press up against the material as they slow-danced at the end of the evening. The lights would be dimmed, while the wedding band played something slow. He wonders if his parents would have noticed. He finds he also doesn’t really care.

He remembers Maddie and Chimney’s kiss under a symphony of high-pitched beeps, and the mumbled static of a tannoy announcement requesting a doctor’s presence in triage. Jee had clapped her hands in Mrs Lee’s arms before pretending to throw invisible flowers in the air just like she’d practiced with her uncle Buck.

How’s Howie doing? How’s your sister?

“They’re—” Buck falters when he finally answers, genuinely unsure in the grand scheme of things. If he were to answer literally, he’d say they were sleeping. But emotionally? Physically?

“They’re…”

Chimney’s in the hospital. Maddie almost lost him again, and if Buck looks down, he knows he’ll find that there’s still patches of dried blood on the sleeves of his ruined pink jacket—remnants of the day, along with the pounding behind his eyes that he just can’t seem to shake.

Tell Maddie—

No, no Chim, don’t you dare make me do that, you can tell her yourself, okay? Just stay with me. Eddie’s gone to get help and Maddie’s waiting for you to come home—

“They’re married!” Buck finishes with a laugh that’s incredulous only so far as the circumstances of the last twenty four hours have made him seriously question his own sanity. Or maybe that’s just the last dregs of adrenaline leaving his head in a spin.

“Bobby performed the ceremony, but Chimney wore the white-gown this time.”

He’s deflecting. He’s searching for humor, for the laugh to be had at the absurdity of it all. He’s the class clown disrupting the other kids because he didn’t hear what the teacher said and he’s trying not to panic. He’s overcompensating at the academy because he has no support system to speak of in LA, and he needs this. He wants this. He can’t flunk out. He can’t fail.

He’s pushing and pushing and pushing to see where the boundary lies, to see how far he can go before he disappoints the family he’s found at the 118. He wants to know where that line in the sand is. How long until the tide comes in? How long until he drowns?

He’s….. he’s exhausted. And when Tommy tilts his head to the side and frowns, reading Buck like an open book of sad tells, suddenly the effort to keep the mask in place is too much. His shoulders slump and Buck’s whole body hunches forward with the weight of the day pressing down on him—only to find Tommy’s arms there ready to catch him when he falls.

“He nearly died,” Buck whispers into the crook of Tommy’s neck as he’s embraced. “Chim nearly died and if we hadn’t found him when we did….”

His voice cracks, the words seemingly too painful to even speak into the universe. Buck can’t bear to say more, and Tommy doesn’t ask him to either, he just pulls him in closer, squeezes him that little bit tighter, and holds him there for as long as he needs. He brings his hand up to the back of Buck’s neck, gently kneads at the knot he finds there. Cradles him like he’s something precious and deserving when for so long he’s convinced himself of the opposite.

After a time, when Buck’s breathing starts to even out, the hitch in his chest seemingly dissolved into the atmosphere, and the shock has thawed enough for him to feel the soft material of Tommy’s jacket under his fingertips, he finds that Tommy has been slowly moving their bodies into a sway. Leading, just a little bit—really they’re barely moving at all—but if Buck pretends, he thinks he can hear music playing.

“You said you wanted to dance,” Tommy says; answering the question Buck hadn’t gathered up the courage to ask yet. For the first time in hours, Buck’s mind goes quiet.

“Thank you,” he whispers a little self-consciously when the words catch in his throat.

Thank you for coming, thank you for holding me, thank you for being here with no judgment and no expectations. Thank you for caring when we barely even know each other. Thank you for treating me kindly, for being gentle and soft when all day I’ve felt like I was being strangled with barbed wire. Thank you.

When Tommy hums in response, Buck can’t help but lean into the embrace, finding solace in his arms. He can feel the warmth of his breath drifting along the side of his neck, soothing the goosebumps that reside there.

And when he presses a soft kiss on the stubble of Tommy’s jaw, it tickles.

-fin.

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devonpravesh · 3 months

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your head fell back as you softly moaned, buck's hands gliding all over the right spots. he slid his hand down to your panties, feeling the damp heat of your pussy through the thin material. you moaned softly, pressing yourself against him as he kissed your neck.

fingers tangled and tugging into his hair as he kept on sucking on some spots on your neck, his turn to let moans leave his mouth.

you knew the two of you were quite loud, and usually you two wouldn't do this at your workplace, but the rest of the team was on a call.

you bit your lip, shivering with desire as you felt his fingers slip inside of your panties and into your wet folds. he was right; you were soaking wet for him. you reached down, ready to unzip his jeans, eager to touch him as he had you, but he pushed your hand away.

“we should stop,”

your plea rang loudly in buck's ear, but he shook his head.

you sighed a little in disappointment as he pulled his hand out of your panties, actually listening to you. but when buck noticed the pout on your face, he leaned in for another kiss.

you whimpered softly as he slid his hand under your shirt, feeling the warmth of your skin against his palm. his fingers found your nipples, twisting them gently while he continued to kiss you.

''no bra, huh?" he asked, breaking the kiss.

you felt your cheeks redden a bit at the realization, "oops?"

he grinned down at you, leaning in for another kiss, but just as things were heating up, the sound of approaching footsteps shattered your intimate moment.

frantically, you pulled away from each other, straightening your clothes and trying to compose yourselves as best you could.

"what's going on here?" eddie's voice cut through the air, laced with a mixture of surprise and amusement.

you and buck exchanged wide-eyed glances, both acutely aware that your compromising position had been exposed. flustered and caught off guard, you looked down, thinking of what to say.

buck, quickly plastering his signature grin, answered . "just adding some spice to the kitchen, eddie. figured we'd heat things up a bit."

eddie arched an eyebrow, a playful grin tugging at the corners of his lips. "looks like the kitchen's serving more than just food now."

before you could retort, the rest of the team streamed into the kitchen, taking in the unexpected scene. hen's eyes widened in surprise as she caught sight of you and buck, a mischievous glimmer dancing in her gaze.

"well, well, what have we stumbled upon?" hen's tone was teasing as she shot you and buck a knowing look.

chim and bobby exchanged amused glances, while ravi let out a low whistle, a mixture of amusement and admiration coloring his expression.

#evan buckley x reader #911 abc #911 #evan buck buckely #evan buckley

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bidisasterevankinard · 1 month

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Not even close to 7 sentence sunday

i have plot and some sentences that I was quick to imagine for my fratboys bucktommy au, but ofc it might be editing when I'll write the whole thing still i need opinion on this part(again not really bucktommy)

“So, you bang both girls and guys?” The guy, Sal, who Buck already during his first shift pinned as a jerk, definitely just proved that he is right.

“Sal!” Hen hits the man’s shoulder, and Buck smiles at her with a slight nod in appreciation, but he knows how to fight his fights against the type like this one.

“What? I'm just curious,” Sal says it with the same assholish manner and Buck just rolls his eyes. He looks at Buck with the challenge and Buck will not let this idiot win. He is not ashamed of himself and he will not let anyone try to make him ashamed.

“Yes. I bang both,” Buck sips the coffee Hen bought him, making a mental note to say sorry to her, Chim and Bobby, and even Tommy, for the way he behaves now, but he should say it to shut this guy.

He looks Sal straight in the eyes and smirks.

“Even tho, most of the time I prefer guys to bang me. Or girls. Or anyone who wants to actually,” Buck licks his lips and leans closer to man, using his best charming lower voice, in which sarcasm is heard, and smiles, not forgetting batting his eyelashes. “Wanna try as it's our day off tomorrow and you're so interested? I’ll even ride you so you don’t have to do a lot of work.”

Tommy chokes on his food and Bobby and Chim hit him on the back, while they are like Hen laugh so hard Buck’s sure they can start crying.

Sal the one who looks pretty angry, clenching his jaw so that Buck can hear his teeth sliding against each other. Buck loves the face Sal makes. The jerk knows he lost and Buck is too smug. Buck 1, Sal 0.

When laughter dies and Tommy stops coughing the pasta Bobby made, Sal makes the worst fake smile.

“Nah, I'm not that interested. You are definitely not my time. I like chicks,” the man says it like he is the best guy ever and any woman should be happy he looked at her. Buck just rolls his eyes again and he smiles at Hen who does the same.

It was such a weak come back, Buck barely contains his laugh.

“Yeah, I had enough guys who said that they only like girls. And you know what? They really liked fuck me so I can't walk for at least half a day after or cried in pleasure under me, begging me to fuck them harder and deeper. So never say never, sweety,” Buck blows the kiss into Sal’s direction and decides to make himself useful. “Now if your ‘cool straight guy’ questioning of bi guy is done, I'm gonna go and clean the truck.”

He sends a fake polite smile to Sal, and then real apologetic to everyone in the room and goes away from the loft.

I was tagged by @wikiangela @dangerpronebuddie @daffi-990

@watchyourbuck @rogerzsteven @tizniz @theotherbuckley @pirrusstuff @saybiwithme @spotsandsocks @devirnis @diazsdimples @fortheloveofbuddie @hippolotamus @cal-daisies-and-briars @bibuckbuckley @bi-buckrights @bewilderedbuckley @neverevan @monsterrae1 @rainbow-nerdss and anyone who wants too

#I swear it's bucktommy but it will have a lot of characters and situations #fratboys au wip #my wips #bucktommy wip #bucktommy

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elvensorceress · 2 months

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sunday sentences

tagged by @wikiangela @daffi-990 @tizniz tagging if you want to share anything 💕 @eddiebabygirldiaz @rogerzsteven @wh0re-behavi0r @bekkachaos @hippolotamus @monsterrae1 @spotsandsocks @diazsdimples @theotherbuckley @try-set-me-on-fire @giddyupbuck @exhuastedpigeon @eddiediazisascorpio @hoodie-buck @evanbegins @loveyouanyway here have the rest of the firefam being silly part 1 here, part 2 here, and part 3 below 💕

Eddie looks at Buck and Buck looks at Eddie, and it’s not as if Hen and Chim won’t know at some point. Everyone is going to know.

Eddie just hopes they don’t also have to hear about tragic endings and wrecked relationships.

He reaches a hand toward Buck at the same time that Buck reaches for him. Their fingers weave together because they should always be together. It’s easy to find each other and hold on. They fit perfectly. He’s wanted nothing more for years.

Buck lifts their joined hands to show off proof. They did figure it out. They did overcome doubt and insecurity and a lot of stupidity. Eddie just hopes it’s enough. That it can keep being enough.

“Yeah, that’s not anything,” Chim says, pointing at their hands. “You could be pretending. Are you lying? Are you faking it? Is that where we’re at? Holding hands is nothing. I can hold Cap’s hand. See?” He reaches his hand backwards toward the front seat. “Cap, hold my hand.”

Bobby waves Chim’s hand away instead of holding it.

“Don’t interrupt Cap,” Buck says.

“He’s busy praying for peace and quiet,” Eddie adds.

Hen ignores anything happening on her left and only gives Buck and Eddie a narrow, scrutinizing look. “I’m not convinced either. You would lie about this just to mess with us. We need evidence one way or the other. Undeniable proof.”

Well. Then. If that’s the case.

Eddie again looks to Buck, and Buck shrugs with a slow smirk of, since they asked for it. And they did ask for it. So.

They move toward each other and everything else disappears when their lips meet. It’s small, soft, simple, lingering but still chaste, full of sweetness, and Eddie’s heart flutters like it would always soar with joy when they get to share this.

He can’t help grinning when they part and nudges his nose against the tip of Buck’s just because. Buck beams like sunshine back at him, not paying attention to Hen, Chim, Bobby or anything else any longer.

It’s clearly not a first kiss. No one could possibly think it’s a first kiss. It’s too familiar. They’re way too happy.

Buck even leans in and kisses him quickly one more time, and Eddie meets him there, anywhere, because how could he not? And then they return to just sitting next to each other, still holding hands, waiting for anyone to have a dispute with that.

#buddie #seven sentence sunday #fic: unless you ask me to #jenwyn wip #buddie wip

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dangerpronebuddie · 2 days

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Been talking to a bunch of people about a bunch of things since that episode, and despite how mad I am, I still have hope. (Foolish? Quite possibly).

Hold onto your hoola hoops folks, this is long lol.

I'll start with the issue that affects the most characters: our beloathed bigot, Captain Gerrard. He has something against each and every one of the characters: race, gender, sexuality, what socks they wore on Thursday. This jackass hates everyone.

Judging by the still Tim shared, Ortiz had a hand in putting him in charge. It's honestly the most logical explanation since we could've easily had Hen or even Chim as captain again if push came to shove (and captain Han again could've been really interesting considering 6x14 but I digress). Regardless, he's there. And he's going to make everyone's lives misery. And no one is going to let him. He's intruding on a family. Not one of them is going to willingly stay silent. It's much more likely they'll have to hold each other back.

The one person that likely won't stick up for them? Tommy. Don't attack me yet, hear me out. We know how he was in the Begins episodes. But when he came back in 7x03 he had a dry sense of humor and an attitude that could've mixed well with the 118 (I'll admit it. I liked him in 7x03). But 7x04 emphasized not only Buck's jealousy that Eddie was spending time with Tommy, but also Tommy's jealousy of Buck and the fact he has a family at the 118 and with the Diaz boys. He has high expectations and gets pissed when they aren't met (re: expecting Buck to be completely comfortable and out for their first date just days after their kiss and then leaving him on the curb when he wasn't). He dismisses Buck's wants and concerns (not even trying for the bachelor party and then waving off Buck's worry over Bobby because his real dad's alive). That last bit, that 7x10 scene was quite deliberate.

I'm not going to get into the kink joke. That's not even an issue. But Buck was worried about his surrogate dad and wanted someone to lean on, only for Tommy to dismiss said worry and then spin it to be "woe is me" about how he didn't have that found family, or a real family. The jealousy he feels towards present day 118 keeps on being addressed. Any topic Buck discusses with him is waved off as if it means nothing. What does that mean for Gerrard being back?

Well. Tommy's "tough luck kid" attitude towards Buck isn't likely to stop. They've made no move to suggest it will. So when Buck wants to vent about how bad Gerrard is, Tommy is going to dismiss it. "I had to put up with it too, ya know." No empathy, no support, just diminishing valid worries and making Buck the butt of the joke, as always. (Side note: see a pattern? Any specific characters ring a bell... at all?)

Why does this matter? Jealousy started this relationship. Jealousy will end this relationship. Just like Abby finding herself started and ended that, Buck's job started and ended Ali, Taylor's job started and ended that, and Buck's death started and ended Nat. Jealousy (in general and involving Eddie) started BT. Catch my drift? When Tommy gets jealous that the 118 stick up for one another and support one another and when he sees Buck and Eddie lean on each other more and more, he's not going to stick around long. Will it be a confrontation? Most likely. Unless he gets the LI treatment and it happens off screen. I think it would be more fulfilling on screen and show the most growth from Buck, like the Taylor breakup did.

As for dealing with the bigot himself, he's either going to be reported, replaced, or rigor mortised. I see Bobby having to do some intense healing both physically and mentally before he returns either to work in general or as Captain (I really have no idea whether they'd basically demote him to have Gerrard or not. I don't get it pero ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯). Also, his heart stopped for 14 minutes and he just walked away?? Sure, Jan. But maybe it's a 911 miracle. Or it could be like Buck in 3x01. An injury you think is completely fine only for it to come back to haunt you. But considering Bobby mirrors Eddie, it's much more likely his mental health takes the biggest hit and gets to heal (unlike my poor Eddie. I'm still so pissed. More on that later). He also resigned. That has to be fixed. He'll probably be forced into therapy, either by the department or Athena (who should go herself and I'd be incredibly disappointed if she didn't suggest he see someone). And once that's all dealt with, he'll be back to work. How long that will take? Don't know. Whether he directly replaces Gerrard or if the jackass is already gone when he gets back? Also don't know. (Little side note that's totally unrelated: I want to see Eddie as Captain at least once. It would be interesting to see).

And then there's Ortiz, the supposed puppet master. Drama for the sake of drama. I think they just couldn't have more than two or three happy characters in a finale so they decide to traumatize the children and torture Hen and Karen as usual. I hate it. But I'm focusing on what they'll do with it. I've hated storylines before and some have been resolved, some have been dropped (for now). But what they'll do with this woman? I don't know. Will she find out Madney has Mara and go after them? I don't know. Her end goal and their plan for her is the one thing I simply cannot figure out (yet).

And the most heartbreaking and infuriating of all... My Diaz boys. I cannot begin to tell you how upset I am over that. I can't. There's so much they could've done instead and so much I hate about what they did. These boys have been fighting since day one to heal and as soon as they take a step forward, they're yanked five steps back and punished for being in pain. I cried twice yesterday talking about Chris. So I won't get into all that. My anger is not the point.

Right now, Helena is the victor. She proved herself right. Eddie is unfit, incapable, unstable. She didn't want Eddie to drag Chris down with him and Eddie has spent the entire time since she said those words preventing it. He's tried to show Chris they're enough just the two of them, that no one can tell Chris he's different, that people do stay, that running from the problem won't sto-

*Record scratch*

Yeah.

Eddie learned from experience that the Diaz way of handling everything (re: not at all) doesn't work. You can't run from the problem and expect it to go away. That's how you start piling up those boxes Frank warned him about. He knows that running doesn't work, and he (and Buck) have consistently shown Chris that staying is what matters (insert Buck's definition of love). But Helena and Ramon just showed Chris he can run from his problems.

Now, Chris is a smart kid. Like Carla said, I think he understands a lot more than we'd like him to. 7x01 broke my heart when he admitted that love didn't matter because everyone just leaves anyway. He's still in the mindset that whether or not you stay makes no difference. He's going to realize that, in fact, it does. Because the way Eddie loves him is vastly different than the way his grandparents do. And it won't take long for him to realize that. The only way Helena will see that Eddie is a good dad is if Chris confirms it.

Whether or not he and Eddie will have patched things up by the time he wants to go home is still up in the air. I think I would personally prefer to see the work they put in to repair this. I love how Eddie and Chris communicate. No matter the issue, they always talk about it eventually. It may take a little bit for them to get to that point, but when they do it's beautiful to see (the skateboard, Eddie's therapy, Chris' independence).

And speaking of communication, can they please clarify that Eddie only hugged Kim???? Everyone acted like they found them in bed together! I need that cleared up because the reactions from the others were disproportionate. (Chris I understand, but Buck implied Eddie and Kim slept together and so did the parents. Bad editing. Happened a lot this season).

As for buddie, I have no complaints on them this season at all. The communication, the openness, the vulnerability they had with each other was remarkable. We made headway this season. And now, for however long Chris is away, Eddie and Buck will only be BuckandEddie. They are the only thing each of them is allowed to have, and I'm really hoping they actually lean into that. Feelings realization on one part at the very least. What sparks it? Who knows! It could be Chris' absence making them reexamine their relationship, Tommy pointing out their bond, one of them getting hurt and the other absolutely losing it (Drown Buck 2024/ Trap Eddie 2024). (I have way more buddie specific specs but here isn't the place for them all lol). The possibilities there are endless. And I am excited for it, despite of- and in spite of- that finale.

Am I still incredibly pissed at the episode? Yeah. Was the season lackluster overall? Also yeah. Ten episodes and constantly changing plans doesn't make for a good season. But I'm still going to stay hopeful. It's a beautiful story and I'm letting them tell it, but these bonkers decisions really need to be fixed. And soon.

Anyway, if you read this I love you 🩷 (and tell me your own specs/ hopes for the next season!)

#okay #rant over #im staying hopeful #but apparently ls did something even more bizarre than this so that hope is quickly fading #oh well #time will tell #911 #911 abc #911 spoilers #911 speculation #s8 #7x10 #anti bucktommy #just in case #honestly im just trying to make myself feel better after that shit show #everything is going to be okay #right?#😭😭😭

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thegoldheartlocketandkey-blog · 3 months

Text

911 Spoilers Season 4: You’ve been warned. 😅 Buddie Rewatch

Episodes 1-3

Episode 1: The New Abnormal

Chimney and Maddie are having a video call. Chim is at Bucks because of Covid.

Buck mentions how Hen and Eddie have gone back to their places months ago, and that he’s the only one still freaking out.

The fact that we miss Eddie and Buck being room mates was kind of a downer. I will say the fanfiction writers really went off with this plot device. Because Eddie and Buck would share a bed, while Hen and Chim sleep on mattresses down stairs. It just makes sense.

Buck has a “covid crush,” he’s apparently been talking to a woman for hours at a time on video call. Buck denies the allegations and goes to take a shower to get ready for work.

Mini earth quake happens, Chim and Hen try to gage how strong it was, Hen guessing a 4. Eddie walking in and calling it a dud a rating it a 3. Eddie walks over to the fire truck, where Buck is leaning against the truck, looking at his phone tracking the microquakes.

Eddie leans against the truck and puts his hand on his hip and listens to Buck talk about the microquakes.

Bus in the skyscraper: As the 118 gets to the location of the incident, we get an overhead look of them looking up at the bus. Eddie and Buck stand barely a foot apart behind, Chimney, Hen and Bobby.

The 118 take the elevator. Bobby is in the middle in-between Hen and Chim. Eddie and Buck behind them. Eddie with his hands held together Infront of him. Buck looking thru his phone.

Buck researching the how much water the Hollywood reservoir holds and asking where all that water will go.

Although I truly believe Buck would have looked up that information eventually for his own knowledge, I really do believe he was looking it up at that moment because he was thinking about the tsunami. He was worried they could face similar scenarios.

Eddie looks Buck up and down as he asks the question. Hen responds with the water goes out to sea.

Elevator door opens, masks go on. Continuity error occurs as the screen pans to the accident than back on to the elevator, both Eddie and Buck are the only ones not wear the masks. As Bobby, Chim, and Hen step off the elevator.

Eddie and Buck remain in the elevator. Eddie readjusts himself and says, “At least it is not a tsunami”, Buck looks over at him with a glare. They look at each other as the elevator door closes in front of them.

Buck and Eddie are on the building’s roof. Buck clipping himself into a harness as Eddie sets up the rig. Buck prepares to descend.

Eddie advises that Buck is about to touch down and coordinating that he will send down the webbing to secure the Bus.

Buck lands on the bus, causing it to shift a little. He notes that the bus is using alternative energy. He starts to go around the bus a securing it when he finds a person under the bus.

Buck attempting to help Chim pull out the injured man, but the space being too tight for even a back board to squeeze in.

Eddie hesitating/not fully comprehending Bobby’s orders to destabilize the bus that was just stabilized.

Buck applying a second torniquet on to man with a bleeding leg.

Buck grabbing the gurney as Eddie is undoing all his previous work.

Bobby instructing Eddie to get ready to readjust the bus, Eddie asking if everyone is off the bus. Buck repeating to Bobby that he needs to get off the bus.

Buck calling out for Cap as Bobby is trying to comfort CJ.

Buck and Chimney pulling out the body.

Eddie restabilizing the bus, Eddie noticing that the bus is leaking fuel. Eddie asks Buck over the radio if everyone is off the bus.

Buck running towards the bus screaming for cap. There is an explosion on the bus that cause Buck to throw him self out into safety. Buck worryingly jumps onto the bus and finds Booby and CJ safely on the ground of the bus.

Episode 2: Alone Together

Eddie walking over and asking if they should be worried about more of the hill going down. Chim and Buck following close behind him. Buck standing about two feet away from him. Chimney is standing in between them as they look up at the Hollywood sign. Eddie with his signature hands on his hips. Buck giving seriousness with the way we only see his eyes, it’s fierce.

Bobby, Hen, and Eddie are to go up towards the Hollywood sign and Chim and Buck stay on the ground to help search and rescue.

This is the season when I noticed the writers push having Buck and Eddie being separated. It’s not too bad, at least compared to season 5 and 6. The one good thing about separating them a bit is we get to see their individual relationships with the other members of the 118. Separating Buck and Eddie, starts off very subtle, but it’ll randomly hit and I’m trying to pin point when the showrunner got sick of Buddie shippers.

Buck and Chimney patrolling calling out for survivors. They find a dead body, mark it and keep moving. They hear a baby cry and find a baby monitor, but no baby. Buck’s eyes go a little wide with concern.

Bobby, Hen, and Eddie hike up to the Hollywood sign. Eddie noting that to get to the victims they need plywood to get to them.

Chim and Buck talk about how Chimney is going to be a father. Chimney is doubting himself; Buck is telling him that he is over thinking it. While they try to figure out where the baby is, Buck comes up with the idea of following the direction the monitor starts to experience signal interference to find the baby.

Chimney going worse case scenario, but Buck trying to find reasonable explanations. Buck tells Chim he has to stop worrying and being afraid of the world and actually move in with his sister Maddie. Repeating that he’ll be a great dad as they find the house, they think the baby is in.

Eddie and a random firefighter placing down plywood as Hen assesses the man in mud.

Eddie trying to reassure the guy in the mud by telling him he’s not going to die.

Eddie looking around silently judging the three roommates as they argue. Eddie then telling Dylan he can’t drown in quicksand, but if he continues to struggle the worse it will be.

Eddie offering other solutions to get him out, but they would not work in this scenario.

Eddie cutting up the H to help get the guy unstuck. Hen being left alone to hear the love confession. Bobby and Eddie making there way back over with the ladder they cut off. As they are trying to get the ladder situated, they witness the love confession from the girl.

I think Eddie had a stand in this scene. I was hoping to see his face to gage the reaction, but we never got it. The scenes are also pieced together in way that Eddie has a lot of stand-alone shots. This could have been because of covid protocols or just scheduling conflicts.

We do see Eddie reacting the roommate threaten his friend, which was him looking over at Bobby.

Buck lowering Chim down a chimney to rescue the crying baby. Chim located a dead older woman and then an infant in a bassinet. Buck being relieved and happy at the news of the baby being alive.

Chim finding a room full of pregnant woman, one of which is in active labor, Chim calls for reinforcements.

Buck harnessing himself, preparing to go down and help Chim rescue the woman. Eddie handing him an axe and lowering him down.

Buck escorting the other pregnant woman out as Chim handles the delivery.

Eddie and Hen guiding the woman who just delivered her baby and baby down to a gurney. Eddie watching as the woman is reunited with one of the other women who was held captive. Buck in the background taking off his harness \ and helmet watching as well.

Eddie asking Chim, how was the practice run. Buck joining in and repeating that Chim will be a great dad to a baby Buckley.

Eddie laying in Christopher’s bed cuddled up to Chris as Carla reads a story over video call. Carla’s story is about people being connected by an invisible string made from love.

Eddie falling asleep in an uncomfortable position and Chris is a sleep.

Albert and Buck reveal they are now roommates. Buck goes off to speak with the mystery girl Maddie mentioned at the start of episode 1. Turns out this mystery girl is his new therapist and he’s starting to accept that he hides his true feelings from others.

Buck hiding his true feelings is nuanced in understanding Buck’s identity. He’s a people pleaser and willing to sacrifice himself for the greater good. Do I think Buck is hiding his true feelings for Eddie, yes yes I do. Am I sane enough to realize that that is only a small part of Buck hiding who he is and how he feels, yes, yes I am.

Episode 3: Future Tense

Smart House: Buck hopping out of the fire engine right into Eddie handing him an axe. They walk together, about 4 feet apart (they have to break covid protocols a little) with Bobby following right behind.

At the door, Bobby rings the doorbell. Buck points out that dispatch stated the victim was unconscious, Eddie is standing right behind him now.

Everyone looking up at the camera, allowing their faces to be unknowingly be scanned and Hildy opening the door for Los Angeles Fire Department.

Hen vocalizing how she’s creeped out about the situation and everyone agreeing with her as the put on their masks.

Eddie and Buck walking in the gurney. Eddie judging the victim for living in a smart home. He doesn’t understand why he would live in a home filled with cameras and microphones. Buck laughing at Eddie and letting him know that if he has a phone, computer, or a smart anything, anyone can already spy on him.

Cut to Eddie making the most adorable concerned face, I’ve ever seen on a grown man. Eddie looking up at the cameras hesitantly.

Eddie vocalizing how he shouldn’t buy that smart coffee maker he’s been seeing advertised to him. Hildy interrupting, by calling Eddie by his name and suggesting coffee makers he can purchase. Eddie looking like a scared puppy as Buck adds fuel to the fire by welcoming him into the future.

Eddie fully understanding what Buck meant by how anyone can spy on you as it is revealed that the ex-girlfriend was spying on the victim.

Buck at Maddie and Chim’s place helping baby proof the apartment, going a little overboard by baby proofing top cabinets. Him justifying that choice because they are having a Buckley who could end up being as wild as he was.

Buck finally telling Maddie and Chim that he doesn’t have a girlfriend, that he has been seeing a therapist to address personal non firefighter aspects of his life. Maddie looking at him concerned.

Buck laying in bed when he hears a knock on his door. Maddie walking in and Buck being confused because he just left her place.

Buck admitting to Maddie that he partially started therapy because of her comment about being sad and lonely.

Buck further admitting that he thought he’d be better after finding closure with Abby, but he was still sad and lonely. Buck admits to having a great life filled with a job he loves and people he loves, but he feels like he can’t trust it.

We learn that Buck feels this way mostly because his parents taught him that the world is an uncertain place and to be wary of trusting it. That’s a pretty messed up life lesson for a parent to teach.

Buck trying to reassure Maddie that he can handle this self-discovery journey alone and that he does not feel like she could help any way, because deep down he always felt like she was sad too.

Christopher and Buck playing video games at Eddie’s house. Christopher is of course winning and Buck playfully accuses him of cheating. Eddie walks over with his hands on his hips and turns off the gaming system.

Buck and Chris being confused and question why Eddie disconnected the game. Eddie explaining, hands still on his hips, that they are taking a break from the internet.

Chris asks how he’s supposed to talk to his friends causing Eddie to freak out about the realization that Chris can talk to real life people on his game. I laughed so hard at Eddie’s facial expression here.

Buck looking up at Eddie a bit concerned, explaining that he was only joking about people spying on him.

Eddie being a bit paranoid is examining a head set and explaining that Buck wasn’t really joking because ever since that smart house rescue has been getting non stop coffee maker ads. Buck chuckling and explaining that that is just targeted advertising and it’s not a big deal.

Christopher is sitting there laughing at his dad whose having an obvious crisis over technology.

Christopher vocalizing his excitement over possibly getting a Hildy, and Eddie quickly shutting that idea down.

Chris than asking Buck if they could go to his place to play video games. Buck looks like he’s considering it, until he looks up at an upset Eddie with his arms crossed. The stance Eddie has in this moment basically screams “I might be being over reacting, but don’t you dare undermine me in front of our child”

Buck apologizing to Chris and explaining that they are going to have to go with out technology for a while. Eddie relaxing and walking away satisfied with that answer. Buck suggesting they play scrabble.

Maddie is on the verge of tears. Chim asks her what is wrong and she reveals she’s concerned about being a bad parent. She states her parents where not bad people, just bad parents.

News of the Texas wild fire plays on the tv at the fire house. (I did pause my rewatch and watch the cross over episode of Lonestar, those notes will be posted with Episode 4 notes). Buck walking up as Chimney is watching the broad cast.

Chimney turns off the tv to ask Buck about his parents and why he doesn’t talk about them. Specifically making a comment about how Chim knows more about Buck’s sex life than his up brining. Buck jokes that it’s because his sex life was interesting, at least it once was, hasn’t been recently.

Chim explaining how Maddie was freaking out about being a bad parent. Buck explains that his parents were never abusive, but they were absent. Physically they where right there, but emotionally, they were a million miles away.

Chim jokingly double checking to make sure Buck isn’t hiding a deep dark family secret, Buck confirming they are just a dysfunctional family and proceeds to welcome him into the family.

Maddie is on the phone with her mom, trying to update her on her pregnancy. Maddie getting defensive over her choice to find out the sex of the baby, implying mom is being judgmental.

Maddie referring to Buck as Evan while speaking to Mom and asking if she’s spoken to him. Maddie revealing that Buck is seeing a therapist. Maddie reacting in a way that implies more judgement.

Maddie wants to admit to Buck that they have been lying to him his entire life.

Goat Yoga: Eddie standing behind Bobby and in front of Hen as they approach victim’s door.

Eddie hands Bobby the battering ram. They open the door and Eddie and Hen are examining the patient. Eddie catching something swimming in her eyes.

Eddie knowing what Goat yoga is and how the goat’s weight is beneficial to holding a plank position. Hen and Bobby look at Eddie questioningly and he explains that Buck isn’t the only one to know weird stuff.

I love how this implies Eddie and Buck hang out so much, that his mannerisms are rubbing off on Eddie and they are just more similar.

Eddie being amused by the patient processing she had worms in her eyes, up until a Hildy starts speaking. He instantly freaks out, gets up from his spot and disconnects the Hildy.

Eddie opening his door to a package, he’s confused but picks it up and brings it over to the living room, passed Chris.

Chris starts to side eye and waits in anticipation, as Eddie starts to open the package. Eddie becoming panicked and tries to process the situation. Chris calls Buck and tells him they got him. Eddie walking over angrily taking the phone from Chris and sarcastically thanking Buck. Buck is leaning on his kitchen counter, with a cocky smirk.

I love that buying your best friend an expensive coffee maker is considered a prank. I love it even more that the calm and cool veteran is the one afraid of a coffee maker.

Maddie reveals to Chim what has been bothering her. We of course do not learn the family secret yet.

Eddie and Buck are packing and getting ready to head out to go to Texas to fight a wild fire. Eddie and Buck are standing pretty much pressed together as Hen explains why she is also going.

I started watching this show in the middle of covid, but I had started watching during the Season 4 mid-season break. I wonder where I’d be now if I never became obsessed with this amazing gay firefighter show. I think right now is the best time for me to address this, but I call 911 the gay firefighter show because of Hen and Karen. I also tend to think about Michael and his relationships, David, being my favorite partner. I of course will be rooting for Buck and Eddie to add more gay representation. Madney and Bathena can remain our token straight relationships.

#buddie #911 abc #eddie diaz #evan buck buckely #buck x eddie #911 spoilers #911 show #christopher diaz #911 fandom #evan buckley #911 on abc #911 #911 rewatch

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livesincerely · 18 days

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It starts as a pretty typical shift, which, honestly, should’ve been his first warning.

They’re responding to a fire at an upscale health and fertility clinic. The sprinkler system’s already taken care of any flames but that hadn’t stopped the people inside from trampling over each other in their hurry to evacuate; he doesn’t envy Chim, Hen, or Eddie at all, watching the three of them struggle to wrangle a crowd of hysterical pregnant people and their partners into some semblance of order.

Which leaves Buck to do a final sweep of the building for any stragglers.

He’s checking the storage area tucked in the back when he opens a door and is hit with a face full of some kind of… mist?

It's sticky and cloying—almost like a perfume, maybe, but with a bitter edge—and his eyes start tearing up immediately, sinuses stinging. He wipes his face with the sleeve of his uniform, and that seems to help some, but he’s definitely gonna need a shower and a change of clothes when they get back to the station.

“Buckley to Cap,” he calls over the radio. “We’re all clear inside.”

“Copy that,” Bobby responds. “Meet back outside, we’ll regroup.”

He’s outside chatting with Munroe from Squad 4 when things suddenly shift.

Buck staggers on the spot, hot and hazy with it, something sharp tingling behind his teeth. His vision is swirling, his mouth painfully dry.

He blinks once, then twice, then swallows hard.

“—okay? Your whole face has gone red, man.”

“I’m—“ Buck tries. When the fuck did it so hot? “It’s—“

“Do you need to sit down?” Munroe asks, reaching out to steady him. “I can help you over to the curb—“

Buck bats the hand away, bristling at the contact. “No, no, I’m good, I just got dizzy for a second—“

A growl cuts through the air behind him, fierce and furious. Monroe startles, his eyes wide, but it’s like Buck’s entire spine softens, tension seeping away as if it was never there.

He’s certain before he even turns. “Eddie.”

“What’s wrong?” Eddie demands, and his hands land on Buck’s shoulders, then shift up to cup his jaw, his eyes darting over every inch of his face. Buck relaxes into his hold, something about Eddie’s touch soothing a part of him that he didn’t know needed soothing. “Why do you— What happened?”

“What happened with what?” Buck mumbles, ducking down until he can rest his forehead against Eddie’s shoulder.

This quickly proves to be the best idea ever because Jesus Christ, since when did Eddie smell so fucking good? His scent washes over him—rich, decadent even, like the darkest of dark chocolate with just a hint of something spicy underneath—and it’s mouthwatering, it’s addicting, and Buck leans closer, desperate for more.

“You smell really good,” Buck informs him—just in case Eddie didn’t know, because he’s helpful like that. He rubs his cheek against Eddie’s neck, then nuzzles against his jaw, the rough edge of his stubble prickling deliciously against his skin. “Like, so fucking good.”

Eddie makes a noise that’s halfway between a laugh and a groan and his arms curl around his waist, strong and steady.

“I smell good?” he asks, incredulous. “I smell— Buck, I can smell you clear from the other side of the building.”

“No, you can’t,” Buck disagrees. “‘M on suppressants. My scent’s all…” He drags the tip of his nose along Eddie’s hairline, then presses his mouth to his temple, breathing him in. “Subtle. Muted. Though, there was a study back in 2017 that found that excessive suppressant use can sometimes lead to this weird condition that makes everything smell and taste like coconut, but to be honest, their sample size left a lot to be desired—“

“No, Buck,” Eddie interrupts, in a voice like sandpaper. “I can definitely smell you.”

“Oh.” Buck considers this for a moment. “What do I smell like?”

Eddie makes another one of those noises—low and throaty and a little pained—and his hands splay wide over his lower back.

“Chim!” he calls over his shoulder. “Chim, I need you over here!”

“Eddie,” Buck whines. “You didn’t answer me.” A horrible thought occurs to him, and his voice wobbles when he asks, “Do I smell bad?”

“Trágame, tierra,” Eddie mutters under his breath. Louder, he says, “No, querido, you don’t smell bad. You smell…”

Eddie pauses a second too long. Buck pulls back to look at him, a little afraid of what he’ll find, but Eddie’s eyes are dark and hooded, those brown eyes smoldering like embers. His nostril flare as he takes in another deep inhale, and his gaze turns heated, turns hungry.

Buck’s breath hitches in his throat.

“Good,” Eddie finishes hoarsely. “Really good.”

#*editor's note #911 abc #buddie #buddie fic #911 abc fic #*the writing desk #bits & bobs #another glimpse of my wip #this is an abo fic so buyer beware #but I hope you enjoy

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gayhoediaz · 1 year

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"You were dead."

The words are spoken into the air of Eddie's kitchen, such a contrast to the warmth of the early morning sunshine and the sounds of the early birds that it all nearly seems to be mocking them both.

Buck swallows. Once. Twice.

Buck blinks. Once. Twice.

Eddie is still staring out of the small window above the sink, and Buck finds himself secretly appreciative of the fact that he doesn't have to look into his eyes.

"You were..." Eddie starts to repeat, but then he trails off, and it looks as if he's clutching the wall of the sink in his fists. "You were dead," he huffs, almost as if he's annoyed with how he's struggling to get the words out.

It's not that Buck doesn't know. Of course he does.

It's a fair conclusion to make - getting struck by direct lightning in the pouring rain, while standing on a metal ladder. Of course his heart stopped. He drew that conclusion fairly quickly.

There have also been conversations with doctors. With Maddie. With Bobby. With Hen. With Chim.

Just not with Eddie.

They haven't talked about it.

Three weeks, three days, and roughly twenty two hours since Eddie brought him home from the hospital.

Three weeks of physical therapy, three weeks of check ups.

Three weeks spent here. In Eddie’s house. Three weeks spent sleeping in Eddie’s bed while Eddie snores by his side.

Three weeks of breakfasts, and homework checks; three weeks of dinners, and movie nights.

They still haven’t talked about it.

Buck doesn't know if he was expecting them to ever talk about it.

They don't talk about a lot of things.

In fact, he was - somewhat naively - under the impression that they have a silent agreement. It was difficult enough to experience it once, we don't need to relive it. Let's move on.

He certainly hadn't been expecting to talk about it today. Finally cleared to drive, he just dropped Christopher off at school - and Eddie has the day off, so Buck had walked back into the house feeling quite cheerful as he envisioned the day ahead of them. Violent video games, and hip-checking each other as they fold laundry.

Now he feels sick.

Not because of the words that leave Eddie's mouth, but because of the way he says them. Breathless, and unsteady as if he's been holding them in ever since he drove him home from the hospital.

Wavering, as if he's holding back tears.

Buck swallows.

"I - I'm not, though," he says - which is a shitty answer, and he's fully aware of that fact. Clearly Eddie is too, judging by the huff of saddened amusement that leaves his nose. As if he's telling Buck to cut the shit without actually having to say the words. "Can you look at me?" Buck tries, then - although he's not sure who its for.

Eddie seems to take a beat, and then he finally turns around, leaning back against the sink as he curls his hands around the edge, reddened eyes meeting Buck's.

There's a tug somewhere in Buck's chest - a need to touch, to hug, to comfort. The same one he had all of those months ago when he found Eddie in the destroyed remains of his bedroom. Just like he did that night, Buck fights it. He needs Eddie to talk first. Maybe they both do.

"I was mad," Eddie finally says, nodding once. Then there's another huff, as if he finds himself pathetic, or perhaps ridiculous. "I was so mad."

Buck doesn't have to ask to know that Eddie doesn't mean mad at him. That he means mad at the lightning. Mad at the universe. Mad at Buck's heart for stopping - but not mad at Buck.

Buck doesn't have to ask because he knows.

Of course he knows.

Only Eddie doesn't have a person with a sniper rifle to blame. Eddie doesn't have anyone to be angry with. Not the same way Buck did.

"I know."

Eddie doesn’t say anything to that, but the beat that follows - the synced breath they share - that’s enough of a response.

“You know…” Eddie starts then, trailing off to rub a hand over his chin, his eyes wandering over their surroundings for a moment before he settles his eyes back on Buck’s. “…when you told me that it should have been you who was shot, I thought that that was you just... being you."

"Thinking I was expendable?" Buck asks, placing a hand on the back of one of the dining chairs as he ducks his head and looks back up at Eddie. He cracks a smile, attempting to inject some lightness into the situation. It doesn't really work.

"And I was right," Eddie nods. "But what I also didn't think about - what I... didn't have time to think about..." he trails off, his gaze falling to the floor for a beat as he shrugs his eyebrows. "What I didn't wanna think about..." he trails off again, and looks up at Buck. "Was what you went through."

Buck tries to take a deep breath, though he finds he can't get quite enough air into his lungs.

"Eddie..."

"It was all I could think," Eddie says. "It should have been me."

"No," Buck shakes his head. "No, it shouldn't have-"

"I know that," Eddie interrupts. "...but I still felt it," he tells him. "Then I... had a lot of time to think - too much time to think. About you, about me, about..." he trails off for a breath, as if he's gathering courage. "...about us."

"Us," Buck repeats, but it's not a request for clarification. He's just tasting the word.

"I uh... thought a lot about..." Eddie clears his throat, then. "About everything we've been through, and the..." he trails off, a bitter, sharp laugh leaving his lips. "...the utter fucking panic at the thought of a world without you in it..." he shakes his head. "...not just my world, but any world, I can't..." he shakes his head again, and he's doing a good job with keeping his tears at bay, but Buck still can't help but take a small step in his direction, watching carefully as Eddie runs a hand over his face, and then lets it drop to hang limp by his side. "Buck, you were dead, and I was too. I would have kept going for Chris, but I would have been dead because... you are my life. Our life. And - sometimes I don't think you know just how much people l-"

"Eddie," Buck lets himself interrupt softly, as he leans against the counter next to him, and allows his hand to cradle the side of his face, trying desperately not to think about the last and only time he ever held him in this way.

Eddie sighs, and lets Buck turn his face to the side, leaning into the touch.

"You're my life too."

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try-set-me-on-fire · 1 year

Text

maybe fall in love

rating: G | words: 1,802

Morale is flagging here at the ass end of a 24 hour shift where they'd been bounced all around the city for a never ending stream of calls. The first week of summer is always like this, every kid in the district flooding out of the confines of the classroom and stretching their wings in the form of minor traffic accidents and what Eddie's heard Athena refer to as "stupidity induced injury." It's not just the kids either, the frantic energy spreading to even the oldest citizens. They'd had to confiscate illegal fireworks from a retirement home some uncountable amount of hours ago, Bobby doing his best stern dad lecture at a man 30 years his senior. Nothing's been too drastic, no death or mass destruction, but it's three AM and they're at their fourth block party fight mop up in a row and even Hen and Chim are snapping at each other and Eddie can actually see Bobby thinking through damage control.

"Buckley, Diaz."

Buck and Eddie are loading gear back into the truck, still sweating in the dead of night because the June gloom settled thick over the city has just trapped the heat in, turning the air into an oppressive muggy sludge. Eddie doesn't have the energy to respond, just turns generally in Bobby's direction. Buck, behind him, leans against the engine.

Bobby sighs, fishing around in his pockets to pull cash from his wallet and press it into Eddie's hands. He nods over at a couple of food trucks down the street that still, somehow, have lines. "Get food. Anything."

So Buck and Eddie shuffle down the road, more distance between them than usual, the normally comforting brush of shoulders suddenly an unpleasantly sticky concept. The options are bougie cheeseburgers with lobster or kimchi or peanut butter and jelly piled on them, or a fried chicken truck with an obnoxiously flashing neon sign on the roof. Buck raises an eyebrow in a question and Eddie shrugs, and they get in line for chicken.

Buck stands with his hands in his pockets and Eddie feels his palms sweat just looking at him. He's holding his arms slightly away from his torso, begging from the universe a breeze, trying to escape his own body heat. The neon flashes red and that makes Eddie feel hot too, the burning color of fire washing over Buck's features, swallowing his birthmark whole. It makes his face look strange, young and unfamiliar, and Eddie doesn't realize how intently he's studying him until Buck makes surprised eye contact. He raises an eyebrow, Eddie shakes his head with dead-exhausted eyes, Buck nods and stares back out at the street.

"How're Peppa's dates going?"

Eddie barely resists groaning at the question. Bad, is how they're going, and Buck knows that because Eddie calls him after each one to complain about it. He hasn't hit it off with a single one of the women his tia keeps plucking out of her mysterious bottomless pit of single young hopefuls, because he doesn't like their job or their interests or their laugh or the way their hand feels on his arm. Manicured nails, soft skin. Buck's head tilts lazily to the side, a little grin pulling up one side of his mouth, and the sound of the neon feels like it's buzzing around the inside of Eddie's skull.

read the rest on ao3

#buddie #buddie fic #911 fox #911 fic #Eddie Diaz #evan buckley #sat down to work on the eddie.... not accidentally proposes #he knows what hes doing #ambiguously proposes? proposal up to interpretation?#anyway #sat down to work on that fic and wrote this instead #whoops #its inspired by the song this url is from #buddie song to me....

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pineapplecrushface · 11 months

Text

Fifty Sentence Friday

WIP, spanking fic (of course), Buck/Eddie

Hen eyed him thoughtfully. “I would bet my life’s savings that Buck does what Eddie says, a hundred percent of the time.”

“I would not take that bet,” Chim said. “However, you’re forgetting the one thing Buck might love more than Eddie, and that is his clipboard. Eddie is no match for Fire Marshal Buck.”

“Good point, good point,” Hen said, hopping down from the step-stool and stripping off her gloves. “But Buck has done basically every sex thing you can do, probably twice and upside-down. If it were me, I’d have to take advantage of that.”

“But don’t you think maybe after all that, he might just like something simple? Tender lovemaking. Vanilla, even,” Chim said.

“What’s vanilla?” Bobby asked as he walked around them, boxes stacked in his arms, on his way to the locker room.

“The conversation HR is going to have with us,” Chim said cheerfully.

“Stop betting on Eddie and Buck’s love life,” Bobby shouted over his shoulder.

They were quiet until Bobby was out of earshot, and then Hen leaned against the freshly shined side of the engine and raised an eyebrow. “Look, you guys don’t know everything about what me and Karen get up to, but you know enough, from both of us.”

“She is surprisingly forthcoming when the pinot is flowing,” Chim agreed.

“And Chim has told us…too much. Buck, I feel like I have met your penis and gone out to dinner with it. So what gives?”

“I don’t kiss and tell,” Buck said, and Eddie shot him an amused look when he slid out from under the engine. “Anymore. Eddie’s private, unlike the rest of us heathens.”

“Eddie is very private,” Eddie said, throwing his gloves at Buck. He went from lying flat on the creeper to standing in one smooth move and Buck sighed, sagging against the other engine. Sixteen hours left on this shift and he was about to throw himself on the ground and beg. Maybe it was time to take up a hobby that wasn't having sex with Eddie.

“See, you think so, but you,” Chim said, also throwing his gloves at Buck, “are not the one who had to see what you looked like when Buck bench-pressed Ravi.”

“Oh my god, please don’t involve me in this,” Ravi said from the cab, muffled. “I’m not listening and I don’t know anything.”

Eddie put up a hand, looking around like he wanted to make sure no one was listening. “Look. I’ll tell you one thing and that’s it.”

Buck crossed his arms and tilted his head. “This should be good.”

“Buck,” he said, leaning in so Hen and Chim would follow. “Does not use the clipboard.”

“You know what? That's kind of disappointing, actually,” Hen said. Chim booed, giving him an ostentatious thumbs down.

“All right, all right.” Eddie bent down to pick up the rags they had scattered on the floor. “One of these days you’re gonna get Buck drunk and he’ll fold in thirty seconds, but until then I’ll just say: he does like to do things for me. And he is really bossy.”

Chim and Hen made triumphant, if scandalized, noises, nudging each other and laughing, and Eddie gave Buck a bright, smug smile as he squeezed by him. “Stop lounging and get to work, Buckley,” he said, patting Buck on the hip.

#evan buckley #eddie diaz #911 #buddie #buddie fic

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bekkachaos · 1 year

Note

Slow dancing with buddie? Pretty pls 💖

1. slow dancing

Maddie and Chim are complete and total dorks.

That's what was running through Buck's mind as they did their very first dance as husband and wife. Choreographed of course, complete with mouthing the words to the song and not being able to take their eyes off one another for a second.

It was beautiful and sweet and unbearably romantic. When the song died down through a sea of applause, it grew softer, slower, and as they wrapped one another up and began to sway, they were joined on the dancefloor by the other couples at their wedding.

The Buckley parents first, along with the Lees. Then there was Bobby and Athena, Karen and Hen, hell, even Ravi had scrounged up a date.

Buck stood from the side of the dancefloor and watched, a smile on his face but a longing in the hollow of his chest.

"They look so happy, don't they?"

He turned to see Eddie walking towards him, the same fond look out to the dancefloor as Buck had worn moments earlier.

"I couldn't have thought up anyone better for her," he said with a smile.

Eddie sidled in next to Buck, their shoulders brushing as they looked back out at the couples filling the dancefloor.

"How did we end up being the only two painfully single people at this wedding?" Buck asked, feeling Eddie's laugh against his arm before he heard the little huff of air that escaped his nose.

"You want me to answer that?" he said, making Buck shrug.

"I guess not," he grinned.

He looked back out at all the couples, the way each of them had almost shut themselves off from everything around them, even his parents. His mother had her head rested on his father's shoulder, the two of them gently swaying as they watched Maddie and Chim. They really were in another world, sparkling eyes and mumbled reminiscence between them.

"No reason we need to be stuck on the sideline," Eddie said, making Buck turn back with a furrow in his brow.

Eddie raised his, giving him an expectant look before holding his hand out in offering. Buck almost felt a blush spread over his cheeks as the smile crossed his lips.

"Why not?"

He slipped his hand into Eddie's. Strange, his hand had been there a number of times before, the job got them into a lot of situations that required a hand up or to steady, this felt somehow different. Eddie's hand was bare, lightly calloused fingers brushing his own scarred knuckles as he led him out onto the dancefloor.

And then there was the way he pulled him in close, so close Buck could feel the heat emanating from his core, and burning into him where his other palm came down to rest softly against his back. Buck fumbled a moment as he tried to work out what to do with his other hand, finally settling it against Eddie's shoulder blade.

This was something new, something they hadn't done before. There was a kind of closeness between them that was odd, and yet somehow familiar, comfortable, like they had danced like this one hundred times over.

Buck found himself relaxing into Eddie's touch, only noticing it when his jaw brushed against Eddie's cheek, retreating with a flinch until he felt Eddie's hand holding him tighter in place.

"Sorry," he said through his teeth, the feeling of Eddie's chest vibrating against his own dripping warmth down into his belly.

"What are you sorry for?" he said, his cheek leaning into him with just a little more pressure than before.

Buck shrugged, wondering if Eddie could feel the way his palm was sweating in his tight grip.

"I don't know," he admitted. "Guess I'm not familiar with the etiquette of slow dancing with your best friend at a wedding."

Eddie's turn to shrug, tilting his lips back to Buck's ear to make it easier to hear over the gentle melody.

"Same as the regular kind," he said. "Don't over complicate it, and keep your hands above the waist at all times."

"You really think I would break that one?" Buck grinned.

"Nah," Eddie said. "You're a gentleman, more so than people give you credit for sometimes."

Their feet shuffled in a lazy circle, you could hardly call it dancing, but it worked for them.

"Yeah, and you're Eddie," he said, making Eddie pull back to look at him, still swaying softly to the music.

"Does that make a difference for you?" he asked, voice lower than before.

"I..." Buck paused, his words suddenly caught in his throat.

Did it?

He'd started to accept lately that anyone else who came into his life needed to be okay who he was, and everything that came with him. He didn't need anyone new questioning the parts of himself that he had built, the parts he had grown to like, he had done enough of that himself.

"I don't know," he said finally, eyes watching the way Eddie's lips pulled up in a soft smile, the way his Adams apple bobbed in his throat like he was swallowing his own forgotten words.

Eddie's arm shifted further around Buck's waist, their hips grazing one another with the new closeness between them. Eddie's hand shifted slightly, the tips of his fingers sitting in the shallow dip of Buck's back, just below the line of his belt.

"Pushing the lines of gentlemanly behaviour there," he teased, aware that his breathing was getting heavier with each passing moment.

"Sometimes you have to cross a few lines," Eddie murmured, eyes watching Buck's features carefully. "So you can stay open to whatever comes next."

Maybe it was in the way Eddie's lips parted only enough to let out his words, or the longing look in his eyes that Buck wondered if he had been missing all along, but suddenly Buck thought that maybe, he didn't need anyone new coming into his life at all.

"Still a few rules you don't break at someone else's wedding though," Eddie said with a smile.

To hell with the rules, Buck found himself wanting to break every last one.

"Well, maybe later you can drop me home, kiss me goodnight," he said, feeling his racing heart at the bottom of his throat. "I feel like that would be breaking a rule or two."

Eddie's eyes glanced downward and for a moment Buck felt his breath hitch and his throat tightened.

"Unless I am totally reading that wrong, I-"

"No," Eddie said quickly, looking back up with deep brown eyes through thick thoughtful lashes. "No, you weren't reading it wrong, at all."

Buck's smile made space for the breath in his chest to release, making him somehow lighter and more full at the same time.

"Okay," he said, so softly that he wasn't sure Eddie had even heard him. But he did.

"Okay," he said back.

For just a moment they became one of those couples on the dancefloor, gazing at one another like the world around them had stopped, like everything had just started to make sense.

Eddie let out a heavy sigh as he leant his cheek against Buck's one more time, closing his eyes as he let the moment sink in, enjoying the warmth from Buck's chest as it pressed into his own, the heaviness in him starting to become lighter in all the places Buck's body met his. Like magic.

Send me a ship and a soft prompt and I'll write you a snippet x

#in honour of the madney engagement #buddie #evan buckley #eddie diaz #911 #911 spoilers #ask game #thank you ryan 💕

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mellaithwen · 1 year

Text

Fragile lines (and wasted time)

7461 words || buck/eddie || spoilers/spec fic for 6x11 While Buck sleeps, and dreams in the aftermath of the lightning strike, Eddie tries desperately to hold himself together.

Eddie barely remembers being behind the wheel of the ambulance, but thinks he might have held his breath for the whole drive. His chest certainly aches as though he had, and when the doctors say they’ll do their best for Buck, after they’ve finally got his heart beating again, it takes all of Eddie’s energy just to shout back; “do more!”

—Buck? Buck! Buck, can you hear me? Buck! Talk to me—

Because their best isn’t good enough. There’s no viable outcome for any of them, that ends with Buck being anything but okay.

He has to get through this, he has to.

For a second Eddie’s footing falters. He’s dizzy from the adrenaline—his head pounding—his heart’s beating too fast, and his eyes are burning with unshed tears.

He makes a move towards the doors—towards Buck —desperate to be near, desperate to reach out and bring Buck back from the brink for as many times as the universe will allow— don’t take him, not him, please—

But Bobby stretches out his arm to halt his progress, and Eddie stops, stock-still until he can’t even see Buck through the triage doors anymore.

Chimney’s silent despair at his back speaks volumes, and the quiet whimper that comes out of Hen’s mouth makes Eddie’s insides run cold.

He turns around to face his teammates, his family, and when Bobby reaches out to hold Hen close in a comforting embrace, Eddie doesn’t hesitate to do the exact same for Chim. They gravitate closer to each other until all four of them are leaning in close—holding the line—shored against the fragments of every worst-case-scenario they can imagine.

Their gear, still saturated with rainwater, leaves a growing puddle on the linoleum floor beneath their feet where they’re standing, and all they can do now is wait.

(keep reading on ao3)

#911fic #911 fox #911 spoilers #eddie diaz #christopher diaz #911edit #buddie #buddie fic #evan buckley #the buckley diaz family #firefam #911 #911 on fox #911 fanfiction #911 fanfic #911 speculation #i'm feeling so fragile about this so be kind folks i beg #mellaithwen fanfic #mellaithwen edit

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tawaifeddiediaz · 2 years

Note

"How long have you been having these nightmares?"

Thanks for the prompt!

nightmare prompts

[six hundred and fifteen seconds - AO3 Link]

Word Count: 3885 words

There’s not much Eddie prides himself on, but he does on this:

He knows Buck.

The years between them may have done that, sure, but he’s known people his whole life that he still doesn’t feel like he knows.

Buck is not one of those people. Eddie would know Buck blind, senses him before he even lays eyes on him.

So when Buck’s hiding something, Eddie knows.

It’s not the good kind of hiding. That too, Eddie knows.

There are no whispered secrets when Eddie’s got his back turned, no gleam in his eyes, no secret smiles exchanged with Christopher over the table, no fidgeting with the holes in his shirts in an effort to not blurt it out immediately.

If anything, Buck’s eyes lack their vibrant blue — they’re dim, bleak, and staring off into a space where Eddie can’t follow him, supported by nothing but the growing shadows under them.

In all honesty, Eddie had shamefully forgotten how good Buck was at keeping things under wraps when he wanted to. After two years of dating, where Eddie had know every thought in Buck’s head, it’s hard to remember a time where they’d kept things hidden from each other — whether to avoid being too vulnerable, or to stop their own vices from touching the other, or for just being stubborn enough to try and carry everything alone.

So when Eddie starts clocking the forced smiles, the absently placating touches, the paleness of his face and the rarity of crinkles at the corners of his boyfriend’s eyes, it hurts more than he expects, but it worries him, too.

“Hey, coming home with me?” Eddie asks, leaning against the locker room door. He hears the undertone in his voice, and he knows Buck hears it too, if the way he stiffens up is anything to go by.

He’d been about to ask Buck to move in with him two months ago, before Buck started pulling away and the beams of sunshine that seemed to permeate the air around him started to dim. It had been that very night, actually, where Buck’s eyes had been trawling through every corner of the house as they ate dinner, knee bouncing restlessly as if he couldn’t wait to leave, that Eddie had realized that whatever Buck was hiding was something huge.

And the first tinges of fear began to creep up his spine. His appetite lost, he’d spent the evening carefully watching his boyfriend as he and Christopher played their video game, pushing the question he’d wanted to ask to the very back of his mind.

With Christopher, Buck was…Buck. Someone Eddie knew even more than all the parts that made up his boyfriend, because the parts of Buck that Christopher has are parts he doesn’t give anyone else. There’s never been any change there, even with Christopher in his too-cool-for-his-parents stage.

With Eddie, though…things were different.

Buck had kissed the corner of his mouth before leaving that night, a plea hidden somewhere in his eyes for Eddie to do…something. It was gone just as fast as it had come, and there hadn’t been enough time for Eddie to parse exactly what it was — he doesn’t know what.

Maybe it was not to push, or maybe it was something else, but he’s never seen that look again.

He can’t figure out what’s going on, because it’s only with Eddie that Buck’s not like himself with. He’s still smiling and laughing with Jee, making gross jokes with Chim and Hen, still playing games with Chris and Denny.

He’s just…quieter around Eddie — a fraction of the man Eddie’s so deep in love with that he can’t really see around it.

Three months later, Eddie’s still secretly waiting for Buck to tell him that he wants to break up.

So when Buck dodges his invitation for the tenth time in a row, it’s no surprise to him. “Um, not tonight. Rain check?”

What is a surprise is the swirl of hurt and anger that streams up in him, words escaping his mouth before he even realizes what he’s saying.

“How many rain checks do you want?” Eddie asks quietly, struggling to keep a lid on the pain that he knows will flood his veins if he allows it.

This isn’t the time or place to have this conversation, but the thought of Buck leaving him is…unbearable at best, debilitating at worst.

“I just need to do laundry and actually do the dishes. I’ll swing by sometime this week, I promise,” Buck says, something desperate in his voice.

Eddie stays quiet as Buck walks past him without a second glance, suddenly feeling unbearably lonely for the first time in years.

---

In the end, it’s Christopher who convinces Buck to come home, and Christopher who convinces him to stay.

Eddie tries not to look too closely at the glow of happiness in his chest when Buck nods with a bright smile directed in the kid’s direction, even when it shatters a minute later at the nervous look Buck gives him thirty seconds later.

He doesn’t know what Buck has to feel nervous about, but it becomes clearer when night falls, Christopher tucked away in his own bed, and Buck’s standing in the bedroom doorway, fidgeting on his heels.

Eddie doesn’t know what to make of it.

In a sudden jolt, he realizes that this is the first time in three months that they’ll share a bed. He doesn’t remember the last time Buck fell asleep in his arms, doesn’t remember the last time that Buck woke him with pressing kisses and a warm hand pressed over his side, doesn’t remember even hugging Buck in the past three months.

It’s the worst type of distance, to have the love of his life within arm’s reach, but…not.

“Do you want me to go sleep outside?” Eddie asks tiredly, flinging the covers up to get out. The rustle of clothes sounds, and there’s a surprised gasp in the air as Buck startles out of his trance, jumping to hover his hands over Eddie.

Over Eddie, not on him.

“What? No! Why would you do that?”

“You keep staring at the bed like it’s going to bite you,” he says, unable to keep the bite out of his voice.

“It’s not…you.”

It sure feels like it is, Eddie thinks, carefully not blurting that thought out. Instead, he stretches out onto his side, leaving more than half the bed open for Buck to get into, and closes his eyes.

The seconds painfully tick by, a metronome in Eddie’s mind as he waits for the opposite edge of the bed to dip with Buck’s weight, waits for the mattress to settle into the familiar form of Buck’s body as he lays down.

He wonders if the mattress even remembers him.

He can feel Buck’s eyes on his face as he counts the seconds, valiantly trying to ignore the tears pushing at the back of his eyes. Like this, his face turned towards Buck, eyes closed, he’s vulnerable in a way that Eddie doesn’t think he wants to be right now.

It takes 615 seconds for Buck to finally slide into bed with him, and in those 615 seconds, Eddie feels his heart crack into 615 pieces, then 615 more when Buck gingerly pulls the edge of the covers over himself without even a hair touching Eddie.

The foot of space between them feels like miles, and Eddie doesn’t know how to walk the distance to get his boyfriend back.

This time, when he turns his face into the pillow, his tears brim over, soaking into the pillowcase.

---

“Eddie! NO!”

A scream yanks Eddie out of his rough sleep, and he flips around to see Buck thrashing next to him, the covers kicked off of the bed somewhere. He’s crying in his sleep, and his face is screwed up into a grimace that speaks more of physical pain than anything else.

A thousand thoughts run through Eddie’s hazy, sleep-drenched mind, but he scrambles to sit up, calling Buck’s name as he goes.

“Buck? Buck, wake up.” He resists the urge to touch him, not knowing how he’ll react, but when he calls Buck constantly over the sounds of Buck’s screams, he knows he has no other choice. “Buck.”

Eddie shakes his shoulder once and Buck jolts straight up, blinking rapidly as he heaves breath after breath. His eyes dart to every corner of Eddie’s room as he struggles to pull himself together, and the sight is just as heartbreaking as it was the first time Eddie had pulled him out of a nightmare.

“Buck?” Eddie says, ducking his head to catch his boyfriend’s eyes.

Buck seems to register Eddie in front of him, because a rough sob drags out of his chest just before he flings himself into Eddie’s arms.

Eddie doesn’t know what to do with the choking emotion that wraps around his throat, but he cards one hand in Buck’s hair and the other around his trembling body, trying to hold him together as he cries and falls to pieces.

“I’m right here,” he soothes, pressing his lips to Buck’s sweaty forehead, smoothing back his hair. Buck shakes apart in his arms, fractured glass that pricks at all the places they’re touching, but Eddie would bleed himself dry if it meant putting Buck back together again.

The growing distance between them evaporates into nothing in this moment where Eddie’s seeing Buck’s nightmare like it’s his very own — and maybe it is, because seeing Buck like this is straight out of one of Eddie’s.

Eddie keeps rocking him, the bed frame creaking as they sway side to side. Buck’s practically huddled into Eddie’s lap now, curled under his chin like a wrestled ball of pain and anguish. He keeps his voice in a low murmur as his hands sweep patterns all over Buck’s skin, holding him close.

He shouldn’t be relaxed, but underneath all the worry for Buck, there’s a thin thread of relief for getting to hold him close again, braided with contempt and grief for the situation that threw them together like this.

He tries not to think about it, tries to focus on just where Buck’s sobs turn into sniffles, then hiccups, and then slow, even breathing. His heart cracks when he realizes that his boyfriend’s cried himself to sleep, nestled against Eddie’s shirt, but there’s nothing he can do about it now.

Carefully, Eddie lowers them into a more comfortable position, taking care not to jar Buck awake. The cover settles quietly over their shoulders, Buck’s face tilted towards him in sleep. His breath ghosts across Eddie’s damp skin, and the stubble growing on his jaw pricks through the wet spot on his sleep shirt.

It’s all so intimate that Eddie has to look at the ceiling for a minute, closing his eyes as a stray tear slips down the side of his face. His heart still hammers in his chest, even as Buck sleeps soundly with his hand twisted in Eddie’s shirt.

He’s stared at Buck countless times like this — more so in the two years they’ve been officially dating — but it’s never felt so fearful before. Five hours ago, he was scared of Buck — of Buck leaving him, of losing one of the best things to ever happen to him.

Now, he’s scared for Buck — for what it means for these nightmares to come back, for how quickly Buck’s shifty behavior over the past few months is adding up to an equation Eddie doesn’t know how to read without all the variables.

Eddie stares back down at his sleeping face, a furrow still between his eyebrows, and feels a swell of affection and loss so strong that it nearly knocks him off the bed.

He risks pressing his lips to Buck’s forehead, breathing in the scent of shampoo from his hair to center himself as Buck noses at his collarbone, settling more comfortably in his sleep.

The world could tear itself apart before Eddie let go of Buck.

---

“How long have you been having these nightmares?”

Buck flinches from the question.

The kitchen is weirdly silent this morning, Chris not here to fill the gaps between stilted sentences and awkward looks. It’s been silent for a while, too many failed attempts at conversation hanging between them.

Eddie and Buck have never struggled to sit in silence with each other before, but here they are, the weight of the secrets piling up between them stretching each silence into a tomb that leaves Eddie paralyzed most days.

“A while,” Buck answers eventually, his bottom lip clamped between his teeth. It’s a bald-faced lie, and they both know it.

Eddie waits him out, settling into his seat with his arms crossed to stop from folding Buck into them and refusing to let go until they fix whatever it is that has him screaming in the middle of the night.

The stubbornness pays out. “Three months,” Buck admits, his voice too quiet.

This is what Buck was hiding, Eddie realizes, his world flipping upside down as the equation comes into stark view. This is the variable he was missing, the last piece of the puzzle that makes the picture make sense — the timing.

“Is this why you haven’t stayed here? Why you go back home so often, refuse to stay?”

Buck nods, eyes fixed on the ring of spilled coffee on the kitchen table. “I didn’t want to keep waking you up during them. I didn’t want Chris to see me like that.”

Eddie stares across the space between them, searching Buck’s expression. Hope kindles in his chest, and flames higher when he sees the truth to those words, and suddenly—

“So you’re not breaking up with me?” he blurts out before he can stuff the words back down his throat.

Buck’s brow furrows in confusion as his head snaps up to look up at him. “Breaking up with — Eddie, what? Why would I break up with you?”

After the events of last night, it feels foolish to talk about something like this, but Buck’s looking at him all bewildered, and Eddie doesn’t want there to be more secrets between them.

“I felt you pulling away from me,” he explains quietly. “And I thought you were going to break up with me. That this wasn’t what you wanted anymore.”

Buck looks at him dumbfoundedly, guilt and fear and apologies flashing across his features as he scrambles to shove his chair forward so their knees are interlocked.

The relief that lifts him could make him fly, Eddie thinks as Buck’s arms come around him. He leans forward to press his face into his boyfriend’s neck, feeling ridiculous for letting their conversation derail like this.

“No, never,” Buck breathes out, his words ruffling Eddie’s hair. “I’m sorry, I just…I knew that you would know immediately, and I didn’t want you to find out. I didn’t want to put this on you, and the only way I could think to do that was…”

Eddie exhales a long breath, taking in the warmth of his boyfriend’s embrace in return. He reaches up to curve an arm around Buck’s shoulders, keeping him as close as two men leaning forward in their chairs can possibly be.

“Buck,” Eddie whispers. “I thought we were past keeping things like this from each other. Then why…?”

The question trails off his lips as the answer slams into him, right with the memory of Buck’s scream for him last night.

The nightmares are about him.

“They’re about me,” Eddie half-guesses, his gut telling him that he’s right. “The shooting.”

Buck stiffens, drawing away from him as he scrubs his hands down his face. His eyes are back to being fixed on the table.

Eddie watches him carefully, twisting his own fingers into his shorts to stop himself from touching Buck.

It all makes sense — how tired Buck looks, avoiding any situation that would lead Eddie to find out. Buck would do anything to protect Eddie from remembering one of the worst days of his life, but unfortunately for him, they know each other a little too well.

“Tell me about them.”

“No,” Buck says, looking at Eddie with red-rimmed eyes. “I can’t—”

He chokes up and trails off, but Eddie leans forward then, giving up his fight with himself to press a palm against his boyfriend’s knees. “Evan, I’m right here, alive because you risked yourself to get me out of the street. There was nothing more you could’ve done.”

It feels inadequate. Eddie knows it’s not enough, but it’s the God-honest truth. They hadn’t known about the sniper until Eddie got shot, but there was no denying that Buck had put his life on the line to save Eddie.

“I see you die in my head every night,” Buck confesses, closing his eyes, face screwed up in anguish. “Every time I look at my hands, I see your blood on it, and even when you’re right in front of me, I keep thinking you’re a ghost. Like I’ll wake up and you’ll be gone. Like the past three years since then just…don’t exist.”

Eddie studies him for a second, then reaches behind himself to slip his shirt off. Curving his fingers around Buck’s palm, he brings it to his chest and flattens it against the scar.

Buck’s eyes fly open as he stares at the puckered skin in between the splay of his fingers. Eddie calmly waits, letting him see.

“Eddie—” Buck chokes out.

“There’s nothing more you could’ve done,” Eddie repeats. “But look. The scar is much less noticeable than it was back then, remember? You used to call it a mood ring.”

“Red when it hurt, white when it didn’t,” Buck murmurs, still wide-eyed.

Eddie huffs out a low chuckle. “Exactly. Now, it’s just scar tissue — proof that it’s healed over.” He lets his hand drop, but Buck’s stays there, warm and protective over Eddie’s bare skin. “We are never going to forget what we went through that day, but we’ve built ourselves past it. Why risk that?”

Buck sucks in a breath, eyes suspiciously glassy. Eddie cups his boyfriend’s cheek to keep his face turned towards him. “Buck, baby, I love you. I don’t want you to feel like you have to keep this hidden from me just because I went through it too. We’re partners, right? That’s what it means to have each other’s backs.”

“I didn’t want to remind you of it,” Buck whispers.

Eddie smiles ruefully. “It’s not something I ever forget, but I have you, and I have Christopher to remind me of being alive. These past three years...they exist, and they’ve been some of the best of my life because...because I finally got you after what feels like looking for you my whole life. I don’t want anything to take from us. But right now, I’m worried about why these nightmares came back for you.”

Buck shrugs. “I don’t know, but I don’t want to lose you either. I just...some days I look at you, and I see the smudges of blood on your face and it terrifies me.”

Eddie knows what he means, and it explains why Buck hasn’t looked him in the eye, but he can’t deny that it didn’t hurt. “Did you make an appointment with Dr. Copeland?”

Buck slowly shakes his head, his fingers shifting over Eddie’s skin to trace patterns. “No.”

Eddie sighs. “You know you have to.”

“I know, I will,” Buck says, hesitating for a second, an apology printed over his face. “Eddie, I promise I was never going to break up with you. You have to believe me, I promise.”

There’s a type of desperation that lines the words, for Eddie to understand him, and he does. The space between them feels less heavy with secrets now that they’ve put it all out in the open, but maybe last night, Eddie wouldn’t have believed him.

But this morning, with the reminder that the trauma they’ve gone through in the past few years could come back at any minute, Eddie doesn’t think there’s anything to do but believe him. The tsunami, the well, the shooting…everything they’ve been through has taken away chunks of their lives — Eddie refuses to let them take away Buck, too.

The distance of three months still smarts sharply in his chest, but that’s for them to get through together. He doesn’t want there to be another moment of misunderstanding.

“I believe you,” he says, leaning forward to tip his forehead against Buck’s. “Just…don’t do that to me again. I don’t ever want to lose you.”

“I love you,” Buck says, tilting his head to connect their lips in a soft kiss. “I’m sorry.”

Eddie hums and drags him closer, Buck’s chair tipping forward. Buck laughs quietly and abandons it to straddle Eddie instead.

Something in Eddie’s chest calms under Buck’s weight, from holding his warmth close after months of feeling cold. He slips his hands under the hem of Buck’s shirt, pressing his palms against the slopes of Buck’s back to keep him pressed close. He’s not ashamed of how needy he feels right now, just as desperate to quiet that sinking feeling of loss in his gut.

Buck stays quiet as Eddie explores him, gets reacquainted with the knobs of his spine, the dip at the small of his back, the warmth of his skin. Buck explores him the same way, fingers carefully curving around his arms, then across his shoulders.

There’s no expectation for more at this proximity. It’s just them getting to know each other again, to say hello and leave their marks in all the places where they might have disappeared.

Eddie thinks that Buck’s a part of him that he would never be able to erase, even if he tried.

“I missed you,” he says quietly, tipping his forehead against Buck’s collarbone. Strong, familiar fingers card through his thick hair, scratching lightly as the other traces Eddie’s bare shoulders.

“I missed you, too,” Buck returns instantly, the conviction in his voice bringing a smile to Eddie’s face. “Want to go back to sleep for a while? Can you…can you just hold me?”

Eddie nods, even though he’s comfy enough to never move again. “Yeah. Yeah, let’s do that.”

Exhaustion seems to weigh Buck down as he heaves himself off Eddie’s lap, but there’s nothing less than eagerness when he pulls Eddie out of his chair, guiding them to the bedroom.

“I’m sorry,” Buck whispers again, when Eddie’s got him wrapped tightly in his arms, their legs tangled together.

“I know, it’s okay,” Eddie shushes him, moving to press a kiss against the crown of his head. “Just get some sleep, I promise we’re okay.”

Buck twists in his grip, flipping until they’re face to face instead. “I love you.”

There’s a hint of that vibrant blue in his eyes again, and Eddie smiles when Buck kisses him, then kisses him again.

There will be another healing period, but right now, in this bubble with Buck where his boyfriend’s hands ghost across his skin, Eddie can’t think of anything that he wants more than this.

“I love you, too.”

#zee writes #eddie diaz #evan buckley #buddie #buck x eddie #911fic #911 fanfic #911 fox #911 on fox #oneawkardcookie #usernymika #userceecee #useralie #userisha #userdahlias #laurenlook

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