#I just really dont want to take that devil studio again i feel like ive suffered enough the past 4 years & i especially went through it | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

vanityloves · 3 years

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anyways im gonna listen to/read the fuckin...rise of the ogre shit bc ive been putting it off 🪓🥴 im gonna put stuff under the cut bc im gonna be TALKING n dont wanna make a new post everytime

piss

ok he performed for 2 pounds 50. which is basically $3 today i- well it was absolutely a power play on his father behalf that also had the promise of money so.

also lol he said Rejection fueled my ambitions which, yknow,, i already knew but it still hurts and i will continue to talk ab it xoxo

AH HELP. "...if ebay had been invented at the time he would've sold me online there and then,"

"man hands on misery to man, yknow"

THEN PROCEEDS TO CONNECT IT TO MUSIC/HIS CAREER. this man said :) the one thing i truly have a passion for. the one thing i fucking like.

oh yeah. bullied by students AND teachers.

oh god hes 42ish during this interview? ok.

the fuckin school bully saying he wouldve acted differently if he knew what hed become

getting called "faceache", then proceeds to call 2d that. jfc he really does just repeat what everyone says. really "treating others how i was treated/how they treat me"

maybe thats why? hes kinder to fans? bc :] you support me and like me so, ok ill return that energy

MURDOC GETTING HIS ASS BEAT N PARADING HOME LIKE WELL I WON BC 'I PISSED YOU OFF' SJDJD

a real rowdy boy. absolute nasty boy. fraud and arson... shooting ppls windows with his air pistols

black sabbath being a huge inspiration? fucking absolutely.

became a satanist n shit at age 16? "it fitted me like a glove" "heavy metal and devil worshipping became my favorite past times" ajsj funny that ppl in trying times often seek religion or following of some sort

heavy metal being his favorite, n loving the clash, while hannibals was more punk based

hannibal breaking murdocs nose for the 2nd and 3rd time for playing his music on hannibals turntable

he doesnt sound that bitter? ab hannibal? he doesnt sound incredibly fond but he talks ab how he got him into a lot of music. so, i imagine they we're a bit closer than i thought?

international baccalaureate in antisocial? anthropology?

MURDOC IS ACTUALLY SMART HE WAS JUST. NOT INTERESTED IN THE SUBJECTS? I GUESS? (also,,, he literally Built cyborg noodle and i think he had a PhD too lol. but its always nice to hear hes actually...yknow, interested or good at other things)

alright but murdoc having a fascination w/ other cultures - or at least some interests, that lead him to actually study the damn subject and "pass with flying colors"

'fuck college though. im gonna be a rockstar'

he sold his soul at 18ish? whenever the fuck he got kicked out but college was mentioned so my brain goes to 18ish idk

he lived with his father still and paid rent via low paying jobs one including 'part time dressing as santa'

help he was ab to take a Personal Job for quick cash and uhh well, "still made me call him sir though" he really said 20 dollars is 20 dollars, huh "that story was totally true"

alright, 1997,,,

2d stuff

loves zombie stuff? thats really cute, and is freaked out by the way they move. god he rambles

both he and murdoc are horses in the chinese zodiac

[[jfc ok if the official shit compares them a lot i understand why ppl ship them but Dont. its a narrative foil and that doesnt always mean Romance jfc.]]

SUMTHINK.

truly... a lil stinker. super cute bouncing baby and a "bit thick" which is stull so endearing to me. hes just a happy man!

excitable 10 year old and would dance around his room

jfc the fact he has normal/caring parents. i kinda forget how opposite hes supposed to be from murdoc but i think thats another thing jsjsysg (murdoc said why isnt my tragic story making me famous why does he get to be the Star. no wonder he acts like a loon)

i still dont get how gettin bonked by a tree branch made him go bald and also turn his hair blue

big tiddy nurse mommy,,,

went to the same school as The Cure and got decent grades despite hittin the noggin quite hard. WANTED TO BE A STORM CHASER... OMG??

oh thats really cute, hed bond with his dad by building keyboards toegther 🥺💕

messed around with paints and graffiti? artistic king

MURDOC AGAIN: QHDJ 'VILLANOUS' GANG HELP

oh yeah d day...new instruments, new band, new singer - and 'had to be the best or no dice' and absolutely CONFIDENT that his songs were bangers ajsjd

but on that same note, had absolute faith (or desperate) in 2d which i love

ransacked the fucking music shop jdjdj and 2d said he was Just Standing There behind the counter the whole shift hdhdh

"thats when your eye came out, yeah" "yeah!-" HELP WHY DOES HE SOUND SO HAPPY AB IT ?? yes he said ut hurt but he sounds...ok

jfc murdoc ragdolling this poor mf around. dunking him and slapping him around. actually? so incredibly terrible and abusive and i hate him for that 🔫 im sorry 2d stans. we dont condone that behavior here ong.

how and why the FUCK did 2d's parents allow that fucker near their child after that i??? help. wtf. his moms a nurse why didnt she just have murdoc sit in plain view of other people. god damn.

2d flying out the window n hitting the curb "whoops"

"just two black holes...[ah] it looked great...a blue hair, blacked eyed GOD- the girls would go wild-" "pretty boy looks" ???? HELP. HE DOESNT GO LIGHT ON THE COMPLIMENTS, HUH

RUSS TIME

oh yeah, he straight up kiddnapped this man help. idk how he managed that, russ is a Big Man??

AND MURDOCS MUSIC WAS SO FUCKING SEXY GOOD that russel said hm alright ill stay, :] out ifbhis owm free will im screaming.

"oh this is one of them febreeze commercials" "uh . yeah sure. *murdoc turning on his Sick Tunes*" but that either means? it was just his guitar playing the convinced russ? unless he and 2d recorded sumn?

"2d was the looks, murdoc the brains, then russel truly was the heart"

'while 2d and murdoc liked music, this man was a MUSICIAN' god fucking bless this book holy shit ny man russ getting some respect. he said back hurts from carrying this band.

murdoc basically heard this guy had big trauma that gave him So Many Skills n said "thats what i want" ok idk thats actually really? inch rest ting to me. seems that murdocs fine handing out compliments but i guess that where his charisma really helps out yeah?

"he was going to be in my band whether he liked it or not" ...murdoc-

HELP. 2D IS LIKE BRO GO ON IM LISTENING 🥺 despite hearing the story 50-60 times and murdoc said fuck off you lil shit.

ok irrelevant but i love his voice! its super comforting n nice to listen to 🥺

HELP MURDOCS SO BITTER. "NOTHING THAT HAPPENS TO US IS NORMAL" WELL YEAH. THIS IS TRAUMA CENTRAL.

idk how/why he sucked up all his friends souls though ... how are they all possessing the same person. they said "its my turn on The Russ"

DELL IS HIS ACTUAL, LITERAL SOULMATE...KING...😭

went to a private school,,, and was already possessed? and the thing where he gets bigger and smaller is a reoccurring thing?

was in a coma for 4 years?

hiphop machine...time and history...the ultimate set i guess.

his knowledge was infinite and hes a "Renaissance man" hes so fucking smart our king. jack of all trades but a master of drums. he said i know im good and what of it

PAULA.

HELP. HE RMBRS THE STALL: CUBICAL NUMBER 3 🥴 IF I DO RECALL 🤤

yes russel our king. fuck up his nose 5 more times. probably stunted his growth too. he shrunk after russ gave him a wallop im sure

why dies paula sound like tracer overwatch

also only dated 2d for 2 months before joining the band?

HELP SHE REALLY WAS THE FIRST MURDOC FUCKER: "but when i saw murdoc with his thick greasy hair, green teeth and yellow skin i thought 'oh this is the ine for me!'" "OH HES SUCH A DANDY-" HELP ME IM HQJDHD

sick in the head...like i want to hurt people help girl. shes fucking Crazy. but she rly said damn i didnt hear back from him again 😭 and my purse is gone JSHHD

MURDOC: SHE WAS DEPRESSINGLY UGLY *still fucked her*

NOODLE TIME

"small japanese person!"

2d: we werent gorillaz until noodle arrived!

im dying the reason he chose gorillaz. 'swinging through the jungle baring my ass'

noodle really said "im just happy to be here" and she balanced everyone out 😭 "she gave off pure love and the fact that she could laugh at murdoc REALLY helped too" RUSS... IS BABY

JFC MURDOCS SO FUCKING CONFIDENT IN THIS BAND IM LIVING FOR THAT. HE SAID YOU WANT US SO BAD IT MAKES YOU LOOK STUPID. THE CHARISMA

2d rambling ab some girl he met and "ssSs" "whats the s stand for hawhaw" "i dont know!".

THE RECORD LABEL GUY.

one song is all it took i ❤ good for them

just murdoc talking ab the party that they threw for thier deal and saying "you dont know how much of a dick i felt like [when carrying one of those huge checks]" like oh thats whatll make you a dick? alright.

A FOOD FIGHT THAT WENT SO HARD THAT IT KNOCKED 2DS TONSILS OUT? WHAT THE FUCK

ahshdj damon and murdoc not getting along bc of Rival Band One Uppery + damon calling murdocs cuban heels crap since ge wore steel ones with gold spurs.

MURDOC FEELIN EMBARRASSED BC HES 'QUITE PROUD OF HIS SHOES'

but the band and damon getting over music and their ambitions and became a "paternal figure"

HELP MURDOC SAID AWIOGA @ RACHEL WHICH MADE HER THROW HER DRINK IN HIS FACE AND SPLIT FROM 2D. kinda sad actually, she said i still like 2d but murdoc kinda ruined it by trying to get it in with me, it put a strain in our relationship :/ oh god murdocs That Dude

nov 31 1998: started recording :]

40 tracks that got cut down to 15 holy shit

KONG STUDIOS 🤲

hooking up cameras in every room ejdjsu

webby artist of the year in 2006? holy shit

noodle learning ab kong studios omfg

JFC. YES I KNEW KONG WAS BUILT ON/IN A CEMETERY BUT I DIDNT KNOW PPL FOR THE FUCKING PLAGUE WHERE THROWN THERE HDJD

built in 1739?

the ghost of the first owners ghost still roams around in the kitchen in the early hours and moans 'aaa glass of water'

theres some rotting bullshit near the studios and in the summer its fucking TERRIBLE

the former owners were a biker gang, and they all died in a fire

murdoc said this place has bad vibes. i want it.

grim weather

the building feels impossible to escape from huHgg

#rip lol i feel annoying but my blog my rights ig #brainworm ivy #gorillaz rambles

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pbandjesse · 3 years

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Its my last day of my 20s!! It only feels a little weird. But I was weepy today. I dont think it was related. I think I was just. Having a hard day. Emotional. But it was still mostly good.

I slept alright. Getting up was hard but James came in at 830 and said he was going to bike to the store and would be back around 9. So it gave me a little time frame to wake myself up and get dressed.

So I did that. But I was down. Just felt sad. I got washed and dressed. I was happy with my hair. I love my new sweater. It was the first time Ive worn it and its really great. Very soft. But I was still sad.

I have some aches and pains. I need to make an appointment to see the dentist soon. And I have a weird wound in the back of my knee. I tried to feel alright but it was hard.

James got back and made me a bagel. I played a little animal crossing. And he worked at his desk. SweetP really likes the desk. It lets him be tall.

Eventually though James asked if I was ready to go out and I wasnt feeling great. But I wanted to feel better. So off we went.

First we went down to the harbor. We were squish hunting and I wanted to hit up 4 places. CVS, Marshal's, Five Below, and Target. Because they were each in a set of two spots. So we wouldnt have to keep moving the car and parking.

CVS was a bust. They didnt have any of their easter stuff out and they didnt have any valentines ones left. We walked the aisles just in case one was misplaced but no dice. So across the street we went to Marshal's.

Better luck there! They had a bunch of the goofy ones with the hair. An owl. Some unicorns. But I ended up getting a cuddler. I really would like the dragon one but this pegasis spoke to me. Its a very good hug. And it was on clearance. The cashier liked him too. Mostly because he was purple but I think they look like Guy Feiari.

We went to the car and headed out to the next places. A car almost hit us when we were leaving but James kept us safe. We were just a little shaken up.

We went to Five Below next. At first I was like. Aw man no luck. They just had a little unicorn. But I did get a mini brand surprise pack. James was trying really hard to cheer me up but I know I was radiating sadness.

We checked out and as we were leaving James noticed that we didnt see that they had all the new easter squishes by the door!

I was super excited. The cashier said that they just put them out but people had been calling for a week. I didnt want all of them. I got 5. I was super excited about the cow and the octopus but the goat and pig were really cute in person. James liked the carrot a lot but I want to make the bottom more pointy so they will need work.

We still went to look at target. This target had a lot more then the one yesterday. I ended up getting a very large dragon. I almost went for the bunny loaf but I am excited about my dragon.

We picked up some tissues and floss too. Because we are adults. Adults who were hunting for stuffed animals. And then we headed home.

My mood was up for a little there but it dropped back down again. I was sad. It sucked.

We went home and James would make up an at home picnic. It was to wet outside to try to do a proper one. But he made the food look all nice. He even made deviled eggs and green salad. It was a really nice meal. And we talked about my sads and he tried to understand what he could do to help. But I was just. Going through it.

I did get another gift today. He got a surprise box of beanie babies from an antique store in Hampden. And they were almost all beanie baby birthday bears. So later in the day I would hang up a shelf for them in the studio. I think they are very cute. It was funny though because there was no february but thats okay. I like the clown ones a lot. I think they are all very cute.

I had work to do though. After lunch I worked on the Capybara for Gaby. I finished him up fast enough that James was able to take him to Gaby when he went to take a bike ride. And that was nice. And it gave me a little time to be alone and chill with my own feelings.

I worked on my last drawing for the 30 day project. And then I went to play animal crossing. I made a rose garden and a carnival area. I want to work on the carnival more but it was still fun.

James got back and we talked about pancake dinner. He went to go bake in the kitchen and eventually the sun was looking really golden in the living room so I wanted to take pictures but we were having trouble with the camera and so we missed the golden light. But we still got a couple pictures.

But then I was just. So sad. I got overheated and I just needed to go lay down. went and laid in the studio and watched videos for a while. Eventually James came and laid with me. Until around 6 when he went to go make up pancakes for dinner.

We had a nice dinner. And then it was time for him to go play a game with his friends. I stayed and talked for a bit. Showed off my new squishes. And my new piercing. I actually rattled my piercing a little today and the top one hurts a little. But I can tell how well its healing so Im not to worried.

I have been hanging out for the last hour. I made outfits for the week. Played around with my renfaire costume, coming up with more accessories to make it more believable. Its been nice.

And now I am just tired. I am ready to take a shower and get some rest.

Its my birthday tomorrow! I hope its just. A good day. James had to work. But I hope to like. Read. Maybe take a drive. Just have a nice day. I hope you all have a good day too.

Goodnight everyone. Take care of yourselves!!

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penultimateapogee · 4 years

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hey dude for the music challenge u should do ALL OF EM

heh heh heh... such was my plan ALL ALONG. i will now use this ask as the place to do it (here’s the post btw)

1. A song that reminds you of your childhood: anything from Fiddler On The Roof (the original Broadway cast recording)... my dad loves Fiddler On The Roof and he used to play it all the time

2. A song to sleep to: heh, anything at 2am. but really New York And Back by Leanne & Naara

3. A song that your best friend loves: oh god, really? cmon i cant just know that...! ummmm mazie and i had a really in depth running conversation about her favorite music about two years ago but im forgetting it all. im PRETTY SURE Venus Ambassador by Bryan Scary & the Shredding Tears was the inspiration for her OC Stuart who we both love and occasionally develop

4. A song that hypes you the fuck up: HEH ANYTHING....! oh my god this is a haaaaard one because of how many options i have!!! but also: Awaken by Riot Games feat. Valerie Broussard, because WHEN THE DEVIL IS KNOCKINGGGGGGGGG... SO ALL YOU RESTLESS

5. A song you like to daydream to: i can only say “heh anything” so many times!! literally i daydream to basically every single song; its foundational to how i consume music. i’ll bring out the real heavy hitter now and say Follow You Down by Zedd feat. Bright Lights. ive got some REAL good daydreams for that one

6. A song that’s on at least 3 of your playlists: *breath in* no just kidding, i do my best to make sure my playlists arent too similar. the day you stop me from putting I Wanna Get Better by Bleachers on every character playlist is the day i die tho

7. A song that you love from a genre you don’t usually like: this should be easy; lemme just flip through my catalog of “songs i bought independent of their albums because i was building an 8tracks playlist in iTunes”... actually no, Planetary (GO!) by My Chemical Romance! i dont usually like whatever subgenre of rock MCR is all that much but this one GOES (fittingly shjfdis)

8. A song that you liked when you where 10 that still slaps: Der Kommissar by Falco. no fucking hesitation. i can thank my fluent-in-german mom for this one

9. A song that makes you want to go on an adventure: Zero by Imagine Dragons! ive daydreamed some poppin’ space adventures to that one

10. A song you’d want to dance with your partner to ( or future partner ): so, so much... NOT Jenny by Studio Killers because i just wanna make out to that one; maybe I Go Crazy by Paul Davis

11. A song to stomp around and pout to: difficult, because when i pout, i pout like grimbark jade, in that i go “actually im better than everyone and you can all smd.” then again, having made that clear, Roman Holiday by Nikki Minaj (shoutout: @floralmarsupial for killing me with that lyricstuck)

12. A song to listen to whilst you lie in a meadow: Folding Chair by Regina Spektor. TOO EASY

13. A song that reflects your views on love: uhhhhh. huh. polyam moments? no songs about polyamory moments? being polyamorous fundamentally affects my views on love in a way im not sure ive ever heard a song capture moments? Hot Air Balloon by Owl City because i’ll be out of my mind, and you’ll be out of ideas pretty soon, so let’s spend the afternoon in a cold hot air balloon

14. A song to sing to the sun: i feel like its probably not the intended spirit of this question, but Coming Over (feat. James Hersey) by Dillon Francis & Kygo. im usually more of a nighttime girl but honestly? call me xoxo

15. A song you like that sounds like its on the soundtrack to an indie coming of age film: ohhhh my gooooddddd literally any fucking Bastille song. any of them. thats like their whole angle and i LIVE for it. im picking Snakes because snakes are biting at my heels, the worries that refuse to let us go; ive been kicking them away and hoping not to let them take control

16. A song that you like that romanticises being a teenager: i would love to say Teen Idle by MARINA for the irony but i cant bring myself to. (ill still link it tho.) real answer is Centuries by Fall Out Boy, because whether or not it actually romanticises being a teen i just feel it yknow

17. A song that makes you want to grab your friends jump up and down dancing and screaming the lyrics: why did they write a question to which the only answer is Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen? i dont get it. just kidding another acceptable answer is Toxic by Britney Spears (my white is showing im sure)

18. A song that you like that the lyrics are just so beautiful they’re practically poetry: well actually i have such good taste that every song i listen to is poetry. (trying to remember the lyrics i cried to out of nowhere yesterday. oh right it was The Draw by Bastille but most of it doesnt fit the question as much) ANY Hozier song. im linking his fucking artist page because im NOT KIDDING. ANY HOZIER SONG. i toyed with picking a specific song as an “also, it’s this one haha” but no, im dead serious. i cant pick just one

19. A song that you can imagine listening to in an abandoned church ( if it isn’t hozier im judging you, but whatever ): ironic! to pick a specific Hozier song this time (because op is right, he’s the only choice), Talk

20. A song from the soundtrack of a film that you like so much after the film finished you immediately looked for it: hm, i feel like i have done this before, but i cant recall when... well i didnt go “oh fuck bop [blacks out]” but Immigrant Song by Led Zeppelin. remember Thor: Ragnarok? that was a good movie

21. A song for when the sun has gone down and you are feeling absolutely buck-wild with exhilaration!: Lost In Japan (Remix) by Shawn Mendes & Zedd, because no song hits my city-hotel aesthetic quite like this one does

22. A song that makes you feel like you’re strolling through Ancient Greece living your best life: ancient Greece...! that throws a fun twist in it; Don’t Leave Me (Ne me quitte pas) by Regina Spektor

23. A song that when you listen to it you’re transported to a liminal space, time is pointless and you must sit and wallow in the void that remains: Shots (Broiler Remix) by Imagine Dragons feat. Broiler. i glanced at this question early on and have been sitting on it the whole time. just LISTEN to it

23. A song to listen to on a long drive when you have the really strong urge to keep driving until you find somewhere to start a new life (preferably a europian city whose language you don’t speak): Evelyn by Kim Tillman & Silent Films. it just called to me here

im a little sad that i couldnt put every song ive ever listened to in here so heres some more good ones that i didnt choose: Citrine by Hayley Kiyoko (this is actually a whole EP), Lone Digger by Caravan Palace, Safe And Sound by Capital Cities, Absentee by Jack Campbell, River Flows In You by Yiruma, Instant Crush by Daft Punk, Link by Jim Yosef, Poke Bowl by Radiant Children, Optimistic by cehryl, Quiet by Lights, Superposition by Young the Giant, Far Too Young To Die by Panic! at the Disco, The Good, the Bad and the Dirty also by P!atD, Whatever It Takes by Hollywood Undead, LUNARIA (instrumental) by Chouchou. i know thats easily enough to make your eyes glaze over but mutuals especially it would mean a lot to me if you listened to at least a few of the songs i linked in this post because music means a lot to me and sharing it with other people is one of my favorite things :]

#about me #music

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hyunjinssmile · 5 years

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“Lyrics For You”; Han Jisung

Disclaimers:

Descriptions of sex, dirty talk, angst, fluff, swearing, friends with benefits -> lovers,

Also, excuse my handwriting in this, as well as the lyrics (theyre mine and already in a released song, (aside from the my head hurts; thats for plot)

It was the usual, by now.

He would come home from practice, or hanging out with the boys, and then have you waiting for him, ready for him, to take care of him. It only really took one call; a message even, and you were both there for eachother, but dont get ahead of yourself y/n, you arent in a relationship.

Since highschool, you were both close, really close, but not in a relationship sense. Both of you produced music together and danced together, and even now after he has debuted, it just easier for him to have you; no strings attached, plus the world already knew you as 3rachas friend; a producer that made sure they would eat and rest, stays around the world thanked you for that the most.

Basically, somewhere along the line, Jisung and yourself became more than friends. You became friends with benefits, and unfortunately for you; like the plot of the 2013 Smuts on wattpad, you had fallen for him.

You had fallen for Han Jisung.

Would you ever tell him? Definitely not. Especially since after everytime you both hang out alone, he always thanks you so much for being his friend and understanding his situation, saying he loves how things always are.

“Y-yeah! Its fine” you smile at him as he puts on his clothes, after getting a call from JYP to come to practice earlier than he expected, to which he jumped up and got into the shower.

To be quite honest, the sex was distant. It was passionate, but quite clearly he was distancing himself from being intimate, he would never call you by anything other than your name, no pet names, and hed always take you from behind, never looking into your eyes. It was rushed, and rough, and although you found it incredibly hot and arousing, the emotions, rather the lack thereof, made you sad. It stopped you from enjoying it as much, you loved being close to him, and since he obviously didnt like you like you liked him, this was the closest youd get to it, to him.

It wasnt fine, as he shut the door, mumbling a goodbye and a promise to call you later, your hips hurt, you couldnt walk properly, and your heart ached. It ached for him, because of him.

You reached for your laptop beside you, wincing at the shocks of pain in your hips, before starting to make something, you needed to get your emotions out.

You work on a beat, the notes holding a sad feeling in your gut as you manage to get up from the bed, chucking on one of jisungs shirts that he had left from countless sleepovers, because even now, with the benefits part, he was still your best friend. You waddled your way to your studio, one that was often used by chris and changbin, as well as jisung, as when one of your songs you produced blew up; you could afford an apartment with a personal studio.

You sat down in your chair, cursing at the way you relaxed at the smell of jisungs shirt, before letting the beat play around you, adding in some tonal melodies ontop, before scribbling down some lyrics.

Time had flown by, and you got caught up in the process, the melodies and lyrics meaning so much to you, that tears ran down your face, your heart hurt, and this was how you were going to let it out.

Your phone had been going off in your room for ages, too caught up, you failed to recieve the messages from jisung, and in a panic, he travelled to your place.

Apon entering your apartment, he was met with a heavy bassline, but a slow, almost sad melody- contrast to your usual upbeat songs.

Jisung had liked you since he met you, but when he decided he wanted to persue being an idol, a producer, he knew he could never date- at least not in the public eye. You were his best friend, and after one night when you got closer, you both never looked back, friends with benefits was something that suited you both; well, judging by how quick you were to agree on the title; it suited you at least.

He wanted you to himself, he could only think of having you always in his arms, calling you his own, rather than the plaguing thoughts of you in a bed of someone else, but who was he to tell you not to? You werent exclusive, he made that clear. He groans at his stupidity, before walking to your studio, the lights were off as always, but he saw you hunched over your desk, the music blaring through the speakers next to you.

“Y/n?” He called out, before turning the music down, being left with your broken sobs as his eyes widened. You looked up in surprise, to find him standing there, wiping your eyes and attemtping to smile.

“Hey- jisung!” You said trying to be happy, which only made him more concerned.

“Whats wrong?” He said immediately,

“N-nothing, just writing something.” You tried to convice yourself you were fine for a moment, hiding the lyrics under your arms.

“Youre crying?” He moved closer to you, “and this is a sad song, y/n, you dont write sad songs, whats up?” He pauses, playing the devils advocate “boy troubles?”

You could only dryly laugh, “yes, actually”

Jisung felt his heart drop, before moving closer to you, trying to peer at the lyrics, watching you hide them. “Can i read?” He asked softly.

“No.” You said without looking at him, making him more confused. He tried to grab them, moving around, but each time you covered it, until he grabbed it from you.

“Jisung- just give it back-“

He held the page in his hands as he read it,

“Who is it?” He said softly, genuine care in his voice.

“Just give it back!” You stood up, making his eyes fall to your smaller figure, the shirt immediately recognised as his own.

He couldnt help but smile at the way you jumped to try and get it back from him, your cheeks pink, tears in the corner of your eyes.

“So you like someone? Maybe we should stop this” he gestured at the both of you, trying to conceal his hurt.

“What?” You said softly, your eyes widened.

“We should call this quits, us, ill find someone else” he was being casual, he knew it would hurt you, but it hurt him that you liked someone else, while he fucked you into the mattress every other night.

“Jisu-“

“You know, i thought i liked you, for a little while. I wont hide it. But, id hate to be the guy you liked if you fucked someone else while writing sappy song lyrics about them.”

He was being mean, really mean.

“I dont like you anymore, and were done.” His voice was cold, and the tears kept falling from your eyes, wide open with shock.

“You- I- the lyrics-“ you tried to speak softly, but he was mad. “Am i not good enough for you? Hm? Do i mean nothing?” He kept going.

“Get out” you whispered, eyes full with tears.

“What?” He was taken aback, you had never told him to leave, even during arguments.

“I SAID GET OUT”

And he was gone,

He took the paper with him, reading it in pain and ager the whole way back to the dorm, slamming the door behind him as he entered.

Chris was the first to talk to him, asking what was wrong. The boy crumbled in his arms, explaining everything, even mentioning how you two were friends with benefits, making chris surprised yet it suddenly all clicked.

“Let me see the lyrics”

As chris held the lyrics up infront of him, jisungs eyes widened as he saw a name scribbled on the back, immense guilt filling his entire being as he lost all air from his lungs.

“H-hyung move- move your hand for a second-“

Dread filled him, as he immediately got up, running as fast as his legs took him down the hall, out the door and out onto the street, running to your house, with tears in his eyes.

“You fucking idiot” he whined to himself as tears fell down his face, the colder air from winter bit at the skin on his face, but he kept running, until he was at your door, walking in, and running straight to your studio, finding you lying on the ground, crying your heart out and from experience, having a panic attack.

He immediately ran to you, picking you up and taking you to your room, placing you on the bed, looking at the way your eyes widened at his presence.

“W-why-“ you tried to speak, but he just held you tighter, pulling your body against his in a tigh hold, arms around you, squeezing you against his chest, your face pressed into his shoulder, as he cried into your own.

It would always calm you down, his hugs. Whenever you had panic attacs when you were younger, jisung was there, there to squeeze you and make you realise youre not alone.

“Im here- im here baby- shh-“

Endless petnames flew from his mouth as he helped you calm down, his nimble fingers wiping your tears away gently, his eyes reflecting your own.

“Im an idiot-“ he started slowly,

“Yes you are” you said softly, voice broken.

“I deserve it if you hate me, y/n. Im so sorry, even all this time id been using you because i thought you didnt like me enough to go out with me- and because of my job , i thought this was the closest id get to having you-“

“You have me” you whispered softly, making his eyes widen. “I felt the exact same way, you dumbass “ you said, looking up at him.

“So i could have been making you mine this whole time, taking you out, but all ive done is fucked you roughly, never said anything and had no emotion, all the times you said you were fine-“ his eyes widened again at the realisation of how it must have hurt you, confused you.

“Baby i am so, so fucking sorry.”

You held him closer to you, tightening your own grip as he rested his head in the crook of your neck, his breath fanning warm heat onto the surface.

“Ive never kissed you?” He suddenly said, breaking the silence, moving from his place on your chest , gour hands slipping from his soft locks of hair. You had talked for a while, sorting out how you felt and what you wanted, and then lay in silence, in eachothers arms for a few hours.

“No, you haven-“

He cut you off, pressing his soft lips against your own, his right hand cupping your jaw as he let himself wiggle between your legs, laying ontop of you and covering your body with his own, the feeling of him finally pouring all his love for you out, yourself doing the same, sent you both into an overflow of emotion, he pulled back, observing the way your cheeks tinged pink, his eyes locking with yours as he admired them, the view of you pinned beneath him, hair flowing our around you, made his heart skip a beat, his eyes landing on your now swollen lips from the kiss, warmth filling his being as he admired your beauty.

“Youre so beautiful, y/n, your eyes, your lips, your hair, your smile, your laugh, your jokes, your little pout, the way you stumble sometimes when you walk-“ he was blabbering, he knew it, but your heart filled with so much happiness, “i notice it all, i really do love you y/n. Be mine?”

“Im yours” you said softly, making him smile.

“Now to do this properly..” his hands dragged your underwear down your legs, removing his shirt from your frame as he undressed himself.

You immediately got onto your hands and knees, making him chuckle, immediately grabing your hips and pushing you back onto the bed, your back against the sheets as you gasped in surprise at his show of strength.

“I want to watch you as i make love to you, i want to watch your expression as i fuck this tight pussy, make it mine, youre mine, right?”

You nodded, making him smile down at you lovingly, pressing his lips to yours as he kissed you passionately, his fingers trailing down to your heat as he felt your wetness, his eyes widening is surprise “youre so fucking wet, you needed this huh? Making love is much better, i agree, im harder than ive ever been right now baby” he groaned, before letting one of his fingers enter you, slipping inside before moving so his hips are inline with your own, kissing up your neck to your lips before pushing himself inside of you, his hands holding your hips down against the mattress as he bottomed out, a whine falling from his lips as you whimpered into his ear, his brows furrowed as his lips found yours again, smiling against them as you did the same. “Feels so much fucking better, knowing that youre mine, baby.”

Bonus, 2 months later:

“This is such a good song, Chris, whats the chorus?” Your voice was happy as jisung held you close to him, his arms around your waist as you both sat on the couch in your studio, cuddling into eachother.

“I got inspiration from you two drama queens really. “

“Really?” You both turned to eachother, looking in eachothers eyes, finding nothing but happiness in eachother.

“Yeah, I used some of yours actually y/n.”

“Thats fine, you gave me some last season.” You reassured, smiling.

Chan smiled and pressed play on the chorus of the song, the lead up including a muffled audio scream, before you heard it;

“My head hurts”

Side note:

I actually write, make and produce some music too, so i felt quite close to this story. The emotions running wild whilst writing can really get heavy, and i actually do find myself crying whilst recording a demo, or writing the score, its the same with writing a fic, dont worry if its angst im crying along with ya, its just passion and heartache mixed together in a cocktail of emotions.

Lmao thats another one of my lyrics, ok ill stop thankyou for reading

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