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#I plan on making something really cool for someone <:)
slytherinshua · 21 hours
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2AM CRISIS
genre. comfort. sickfic. warnings. reader is sick specifically throwing up so don't read if you find that rly gross... some comments abt it being reader's first time sleeping over and the hyungs being extremely cautious lmfao. not proofread. pairing. yujin x fem!reader. wc. 1k. request. requested by @theriizeler a/n. i hope this makes u feel better dodo :(( first time writing yujin i hope i did okay he's rly such a sweetheart :( ppl need to write more for him cause i get not writing for him cause of his age but he's always skipped over...
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“Ew…” Yujin mumbled, crouched on the floor of the bathroom with you as you heaved again. For this being your first time sleeping over (with extremely watchful eyes from Hao and Hanbin), it definitely was not going as planned. You had felt something was wrong the entire day, but your boyfriend Yujin was so excited to spend the night with you that you didn’t have the heart to cancel on him.
You should have trusted your gut, though, because now you were throwing up in the toilet in painful gags, your throat burning and a disgusting acidic aftertaste left in your mouth. Was it something you had eaten? Or maybe you had caught a stomach bug at school… You envied your boyfriend for evading it, though you guess it made sense. He rarely attended because of his schedule.
“Stay right there.” Yujin whispered, getting up and leaving the bathroom to find some water for you. 
He didn’t have much experience taking care of someone since he was usually the one always being pampered and babied. He tried his best to recall what his mom and Hao had done when he had gotten sick, but the memory was foggy as he had mostly just slept until he felt better. They did force him to take some horrible-tasting medicine, though… God, did he have to persuade you to do that as well? He’d rather just die than possibly give you an excuse to despise him.
Once he was back with a bottle of water, he handed it to you and sat back down on the floor of the bathroom. It was almost 2 am by now, and he wasn’t exactly sure what to do. He could see tears prickling at your lashes, and his absolute worst fear in the world was seeing you cry. He had no idea how he’d make the tears stop once they started.
You swished your mouth with the water and spat again into the toilet before taking a proper drink. The cool water soothed your burning throat, but it didn’t ease all the discomfort. You still felt like shit, and your stomach still hurt. Your head was also pounding, but it wasn’t as bad as the nausea. 
You turned back to Yujin who’s eyes were blown big and confused, though you could tell he was worried about you. His under eyes looked tired and you suddenly felt really bad for waking him up to go puke in his bathroom. If you had been able to get up without disturbing him, then you would have. But he had fallen asleep clinging to you like a koala, and there was no way to escape his grasp without waking him up.
“I’m sorry… you should just go back to sleep.” You muttered, but Yujin was quick to shake his head.
“I can’t just leave you throwing up by yourself… I’ll stay until you’re ready to go back to bed.” He told you, stroking your hair gently. You tried to breathe steadily in hopes of stopping the urge to throw up again, but it didn’t work. You quickly pushed Yujin’s hand away from your face and discarded more of yesterday’s meal into the bowl. Both you and Yujin grimaced in sync, and he hesitantly pulled back your hair and stroked your back.
The tears that you had tried to keep at bay finally started to stream down your face. You hated everything about the situation. You felt awful, not just physically, but for ruining your first sleepover with Yujin like this. No one wanted to be sitting next to their girlfriend who couldn’t stop vomiting at 2 am. 
“Don’t cry— please, it’s okay, it’s okay.” Yujin panicked. The only thing he could think of doing was offering you more water, which you took amidst broken sobs. He wrapped his arms around you hesitantly, knowing that he always calmed down in your arms. Maybe it would help you, as well. Your sobs slowed a bit, in turn slowly down Yujin’s anxiously beating heart. 
“Hey, what if I just get you a bowl? You can keep it by the bed and then you won’t have to stay here on the floor, hm? We can cuddle too… if you want?” You would’ve smiled at how cute Yujin’s suggestion was if you weren’t too focused on calming yourself down. You knew he was trying his best, and while he was a bit slow on ways to help (you were pretty sure there were some pills to help with nausea that Hanbin had bought last time Gyuvin had felt nauseous during a shoot, but you were certain that your boyfriend had no idea where they were stored), his presence alone was enough to make things a little better.
“Yeah… let’s just do that.” You agreed, standing up slowly. You flushed the toilet and rinsed your mouth once more with water. While Yujin was getting a metal bowl for you, you brushed your teeth, relieved that your mouth no longer had the awful aftertaste of stomach acid.
Once you were back under the blankets on the mattresses that the older members had set up on the floor of the living room (which was almost too overkill as neither you nor Yujin would even think to attempt anything like that, protesting Hao’s carefully thought of set-up would’ve seemed even more suspicious), you felt your stomach ease a bit. 
You curled up against Yujin’s chest, wanting nothing more than to be as close as possible to him. The soap and shampoo scents from his earlier shower lingered on his skin, and you were surprised at how effective it was in stopping your nausea and relaxing you. Your head was still pounding, but you’d take the pain over feeling sick. Maybe you would even be able to get some sleep again like this.
Your boyfriend kissed your forehead and started talking softly, trying to get you to fall asleep to the lull of his voice. It was extremely effective and you found yourself dozing off within minutes. You smiled when the last thing you heard Yujin say was a whispered “feel better soon, princess.”
↳ zerobaseone taglist (bolded could not be tagged): @eternalgyu,, @okshu,, @chewryy,, @haecien,, @sobun1est,,
@emmylksblog,, @talkingsaxy,, @thesunsfullmoon,, @chenleszone
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theodorenmyth · 2 days
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Okay! So if you know Hogwarts legacy, y’know the character Ominis right? Blind Slytherin who uses his wand to navigate around Hogwarts? So what if m!reader was like that with Theo and mattheo. Like those two would be like worried like “you sure you’re okay to walk aro—” and then reader is like “I’m VERY much capable…thank you.” Even if they’re blind they are still a powerful Slytherin!
-🧚🏾‍♀️
The Eyes of the Serpent
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Pairings : None - maybe T.N, M.R X M!R? Summary : In Hogwarts, you, a blind but powerful Slytherin, navigate the castle with the help of your wand and keen intuition. Despite your independence, Theo Nott and Mattheo Riddle often express concern for your safety. One day, as you head to the library to find a book on advanced potion-making, Theodore and Mattheo accompany you. They express their admiration for your abilities and offer their support. You explain your intention to perfect a potion that enhances magical abilities temporarily. With their encouragement and presence, you feel empowered, knowing that true strength lies within and that you can overcome any obstacle with the support of your friends. A/n : Enjoy (⁠・⁠∀⁠・⁠) Warnings) : Nothing! Word count : 800+
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You stride confidently down the dimly lit corridors of Hogwarts, your wand held loosely in your hand, the tip emitting a faint, pulsing glow. Each step you take is precise, guided by the soft hum of magic that resonates within the ancient stone walls. Despite your blindness, you move with the assured grace of someone who knows every inch of the castle by heart.
"Are you sure you’re okay to walk around alone?" Theodore's voice cuts through the silence, a mix of concern and curiosity lacing his words.
You stop and turn towards the sound, your lips curling into a wry smile. "I'm VERY much capable, thank you," you reply, the edge in your tone unmistakable. "I've been navigating these halls long before you two started worrying."
Mattheo chuckles softly beside Theodore, his voice warm and teasing. "You tell him, mate. It's not like a little thing like blindness can stop a Slytherin."
"Exactly," you say, resuming your walk. Theodore and Mattheo fall into step beside you, their presence comforting despite your fierce independence.
"Still," Theodore murmurs, his voice softer now, "we can't help but worry. Hogwarts isn't exactly the safest place, even for those who can see."
You tilt your head slightly, acknowledging his concern without giving in to it. "I appreciate it, Theo. Really. But you need to understand—magic isn't just about what you can see. It's about what you can feel, what you can sense. My wand guides me, but so does my intuition."
Mattheo nudges you playfully. "And let's not forget you're one of the most powerful Slytherins in our year. We'd be fools to think you couldn't handle yourself."
"Glad to see someone remembers," you quip, your smile widening. "Besides, I have you two as backup if anything goes wrong."
Theodore snorts. "As if you'd ever need us."
You reach out, your fingers brushing against the cool stone of the wall, feeling the intricate carvings that tell tales of Hogwarts' long history. "You know, Theo, sometimes it's not about need. It's about knowing you have people who care."
For a moment, there's a comfortable silence between you. The three of you continue walking, the ambient sounds of Hogwarts—distant laughter, the rustle of robes, the echo of footsteps—enveloping you.
"So, what's on the agenda today?" Mattheo asks, breaking the silence.
You mumble something and made the tip of your wand glow red, the soft pulse guiding you forward. "I was thinking of heading to the library. There's a book on advanced potion-making I want to get my hands on."
Theo raises an eyebrow, his curiosity piqued. "Planning on brewing something special?"
You nod, your expression thoughtful. "Something like that. I have a few ideas I want to experiment with."
"Sounds intriguing," Mattheo says, his interest evident. "Mind if we tag along? Could be fun."
You chuckle, the sound light and genuine. "Sure, why not? Just don't get in my way when I'm working."
Theo smirks. "Wouldn't dream of it."
As you approach the library, you feel a subtle shift in the air, the familiar scent of old parchment and ink reaching your senses. Madam Pince's watchful presence is a comforting constant, her sharp eyes missing nothing.
"Good afternoon, Madam Pince," you greet her, your voice respectful yet confident.
She gives a curt nod, her tone brisk but not unkind. "Afternoon. Here for another book, I presume?"
"Yes, ma'am. Advanced potion-making."
She nods, her footsteps soft as she leads you to the correct section. You can hear Theo and Mattheo trailing behind, their whispers barely audible.
"Here you go," Madam Pince says, placing the heavy tome into your hands. The weight is reassuring, a promise of knowledge and power.
"Thank you," you reply, your fingers tracing the embossed letters on the cover.
"Just be careful with it," she warns, her tone softening slightly. "It's an old book."
"I will," you promise, turning to leave.
Theodore and Mattheo flank you once more as you make your way to a quiet corner of the library. You sit down, the large table offering ample space for your work. They take seats opposite you, their curiosity palpable.
"So, what's the plan?" Mattheo asks, leaning forward.
You open the book, your fingers gliding over the pages as you read the Braille notes you've meticulously added to your books over the years. "There's a potion I've been working on. It's supposed to enhance magical abilities temporarily. I want to perfect it."
Theodore whistles lowly. "Ambitious. I like it."
Mattheo grins. "Count us in. Anything you need, just say the word."
You smile, a rare softness in your expression. "Thanks, guys. It means a lot."
As you begin your work, the familiar hum of magic filling the air, you can't help but feel grateful. Despite your blindness, despite the challenges, you have friends who believe in you, who stand by you. And with their support, there's nothing you can't achieve.
In the end, it's not about what you can or cannot see. It's about the strength within, the determination to rise above any obstacle. And as a powerful Slytherin, you have that in spades.
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thesamoanqueen · 2 days
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Blackwater XX
Warnings/AN: I should apologize for the drama but its my trademark at this point, I'll just say that there's a flashback and a couple of references to previous chapters. As soon as possible I'll create a masterlist dedicated to the series, because I have contents that I want to add since we are at the end. Lemme know if someone wants a tag there too~
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Trouble ahead.
He showed up unexpectedly, grumbling about the mud that had gotten on his expensive shoes, the usual penguin-like gait and Jimmy rolled his eyes, waiting for him to finally reach them because they couldn't have continued at all if he was around. And it had nothing to do with a tactical move to hide plan from the enemy, it was simply impossible to ignore or avoid Paul Heyman and if once Jimmy would have laughed, now Paul was just annoying and the expression on Jey's face proved it.
- "Nice place, in your style" – he commented, without greeting or trying to pretend too much – "reminds me the days I used to come visit your dad, both of you were three, four maybe" – and Jimmy folded his arms.
Sure, their style wasn't their cousin's luxury stuff, the one Paul had accustomed him to. At that moment he was probably having breakfast in a restaurant downtown or a sauna to cool down his muscles, but he too had cut his teeth at the garage near Oak Wood Hills. Jimmy still remembered the afternoons spent there after school to see the red Jeep Cherokee that Roman had become obsessed with, he bought the damn car as soon as Uncle Sika came back from one of his trips and now instead he drove around in black businessman's SUVs and looking after the community with checks he couldn't spend on himself.
- "Did you get lost Og? Want me to call your daddy so he can pick you up?" – he asked and Paul must have had colic judging by his reaction.
- "No. Im here to talk."
- "Wow really?! Mind-blowing!"
The colic became a reproachful look at his sarcasm, but still Jimmy was not impressed and when Jey decided to come closer to support him, Paul wisely quit, once again showing off the best acting skills to save his ass.
- "Even though I remember what was said at the meeting, Im here with good intentions. Of course, it hurt me if I have to tell the truth, I don't understand where the aversion against me comes from... but despite this I couldn't refuse in my heart to help" – he began and Jimmy blinked confused.
- "Have you had a heart transplant?" – he urged, matching his attitude.
Paul didn't take that joke well either, but he had nothing to complain about, everyone knew how things were. The wiseman didn't help anyone if he didn't have something back, goodness was not among his qualities and it was impossible he had found some of it within himself now that he was personally involved. His feelings worked on command, according to occasion and business.
- "He thinks I'm dumb ass" – Jey said out of nowhere, staring at him.
He had crossed the edge since the boys' were dragged into the family mess and now his goal was just putting an end to it all. For him that war was an unbearable burden, Jimmy knew how he was, he knew Jey just wanted to start over, have some peace and he didn't like Paul's fake visit because it also added provocation to his worries. He would probably have put up with Roman, but not Paul, Paul wasn't family to him and those turns of phrase were making him nervous.
He heard the wiseman noises, trying to stay in control even though Jey's gaze didn’t help his attempts.
- "What? No, of course not, I’d never think bad about you! The Tribal Chief had chosen you as his right-hand man, a fool would not have had such an honor or right to speak in family business."
He thinks we're both dumb.
That stunt pushed Jimmy to clench his fists in annoyance, but didn't have time to silence Paul because his brother really didn't seem in the mood that day and had come forward again.
- "I had no right. He take all the decisions, with you, from day one."
He hadn't been around when that deal or alliance or whatever it was between him and Roman had come about, he'd been forced away from home for months, but Jey was there and kept him updated on everything. They had kept him on the sidelines of the family business from the beginning and the right-hand man title with their tricks had become a joke they made real when it suited them. Jey had taken it seriously despite everything, he had committed to the vision and tried, but it only make him run everywhere and get beaten. When Jimmy came back everything was already done and things had even gotten worse after.
- "Jey…" - he heard Paul negotiating trying to slow things down, realizing maybe that his sweet words were no longer having the planned effect - "when you're at the top you often find yourself in unpleasant situations, it's not for everyone, you're starting to understand it too how it is bearing the weight of that position. At the meeting you made some choices... let's say questionable ones... listening an advice would have been right for you if I may, to judge pros and cons. I'm here to offer you a second chance, I care about you even if you don’t care about the wiseman."
Jimmy hadn't expected his brother to discuss those terms in front of the elders, it had been strange and even he had been amazed, because Jey hadn't talked to him first about anything. But whatever plan he had if he had one, leaving a door open for Solo and even Y/N, Jey didn't need any second chances, especially not thanks to Paul. Jimmy was there to cover his back and it would always be like this, he didn't need counselors and dogs licking his feet to sleep better at night.
I can handle him.
His offer echoed through the link, but Jey didn't answer.
- "I know you're angry now and maybe it won't seem that way, but all this will help you, trust me it can be good for you, it's part of your journey to take the place of the Tribal Chief one day" – he persisted and Jimmy decided to step forward, ready to send him back to where he came from with good ass kick.
- "Imma take his place next week" – Jey stopped him, voice far too calm.
The day. It was just a week away. At the dawn after the harvest moon things would no longer be the same. Jimmy had been hoping for a change for years now, in the last few months he had chased it like a breath of air, now that was so close it was an almost surreal feeling, but Jey already seemed in control and ready.
- "It could happen... of course..." - Paul hesitated, avoiding answering to Jey push - "its essential, however, that the family is preserved and all of this, lemme tell you, is a dangerous gamble now. The elders have agreed to restore order, but we're all worried about what will happen next, them, me, your parents, even Y/N... poor girl, she can't rest knowing what’s going on and what could come" - he tried, pulling out an apologetic face that he could have avoid considering what relationship he had with Y/N.
- "None of them should be. The only one who needs to worry is you, because when I'm done, you'd better be far away. Bring back your advice, speeches and ass to my cousin, Og, don’t make say it twice" – Jey quickly silenced him though, stopping his tantrum by placing a hand on his shoulder.
Jimmy watched him stiffen as if someone had growled at him, face pale and shaken, his gaze going from Jey's fingers to eyes, which had been fixed on him from the moment he showed up. The realization of failure hit him right in front of them, a mixture of affront, anxiety and worry that Jimmy watched Paul shake off in the same way as Jey's hand, scrambling a few steps back to make room between them. He nodded to who knows who, body shaking as he sorted out his expensive clothes and pride.
The harvest moon was near, so their mother said. That year it was time to reap what they had sown.
***
Devil's Point, that's what the sign they passed on the way said and it really must have been one of devil’s tricks, because Y/N felt her stomach flipped. Or maybe wasn't the devil, maybe it was just another perfect date, pleasant anxiety, wine and fresh air caressing her warm face, sun slowly sinking beyond the strip of sand and trees, setting the sky on fire. Maybe the devil was Roman, with his gentleman manner, so confident, constantly eyeing her, always attentive, his low velvet voice. The bond had always been there, in her veins, in her bones. An invisible impulse born with them, as their lives went on and years passed, omnipresent, indissoluble, inevitable despite miles and obstacles. And more Y/N lingered in that trap easier it seemed to fall, normal deserving the life she hadn't had, a security she didn't know and now all around her, emanating from Roman.
Where has he been all this time? We were alone…
- "Have you ever looked for me?" – she asked out of nowhere, putting the dessert away.
A chocolate cake, because it was her favorite and he worked hard to please her, learning quickly and put into practice even the most insignificant details.
Roman looked surprised at the change of subject, putting down his glass.
- "Have you ever looked for me before that evening, when you found me at the camping?" – she asked again, feeling anxiety suddenly hit even though it had been her idea to investigate, happiness quickly dissolve into doubts.
Y/N didn't even know why she asked. It was an uncomfortable question, the search for a mate was a now past custom, too low probabilities and a world where alternatives had now become norm. It was stupid to expect something and unnecessarily provocative, what's more in their case, after all the first few months problems, it sounded a bit like an accusation or an attempt to ruin plans. Roman however didn't lose his composure and she saw him take a deep breath, brow furrowed as he remembered.
- "Years ago. When I finished college, did it for a while, then stopped."
- "Why?"
He looked at her in silence, but he didn't seem angry or bothered.
She needed to hear it, to know.
- "… had become frustrating. I needed to focus on what I could accomplish."
So real. So true.
Few could say they were lucky enough to find their other half. Rare cases, exceptions. Was it sad to meet someone, choose them and fit in? No, most people out there did it like that, she herself had witnessed it with her parents before the horror, but sometimes people couldn't even find someone, sometimes they were not chosen or stopped wanting each other and then yes, it became sad. For Y/N having someone in her life had never been an aspiration, a dream to cherish when night became too cold or silence too heavy. Getting attached was a risk, risks were dangerous and in her case, as an omega, alone and without a family or a community, it was better to avoid rather than defend. She had to be smart, loneliness had kept her alive, had kept her going, was the possibility of filling the void that scared Y/N. It scared her to get used to someone and lose everything again. She knew what Roman was talking about, a perpetual aftertaste on her lips when she moved away from a place and now she was founding out that she had never really been alone. She had always had a chance, someone waiting for her, ready to fill that void that for Y/N had become like an old illness she lived with.
Roman had been looking for her, among so many people, even if only for a while he really had and it was… so reassuring.
- "You didn't" – she heard him reflect, moving closer to put his jacket on her shoulders.
There was knowledge in his voice, a heavy bitterness, as if he didn't need to hear Y/N say it. She watched him take another sip of wine to warm himself or perhaps wash away the taste of that thought, enduring the cool evening for her.
- "I did it once… just once" – she admitted, surprising him and even herself.
She had never thought about that day before, but memory had hit her soon through her she-wolf, perhaps to console him. She didn’t like that look on his face, he was better all cocky and flirting.
- "I have been in foster care for couple of years after I lost my parents. I went from one house to another, it didn't work and I really didn't want to stay. There was a brunette white girl in one of the families, she didn't like me, talking behind my back all the time... I told her I’d find you and make her regret it" – she said, shaking her head at the thought of that childish menace.
Y/N didn't remember the reason for their fight, it could have been anything, she was an unbearable girl herself at the time, but she knew how she had felt. It was vivid in her memory. That sense of not belonging, absolute loneliness, anger, so much anger at the idea of being and being able to be just a stray in the future. The world is too big a place when life decides to give its worst lessons. Y/N had always grown up quickly, she had always learned running, what to be without roots, what to do if there is no one waiting.
- "We can pay her a visit" – Roman proposed casually and Y/N stared at him, because of all the things he could have said, she hadn't expected that.
No pitying comments, no words of comfort or judgement, just a blind complicit willingness to indulge her past madness.
- "Mmh I'm tempted" – she giggled softly.
- "What happened?" – heard him ask and pointed to her arm, where there was a scar similar to the one he had.
- "I stole her dad’s car and destroyed their fence" - she said, making him frown.
She had gotten into that pick-up without knowing how to drive or what to do, it didn’t end well, they caught her immediately and in hurry she had taken everything and everyone down. One of the poles around property had broken the pick-up window and the wire wrapped around it had threatened to blow her arm off, it was a miracle she hadn't fainted there. One of the biggest dumb act of her life and at the same time another lesson, proving Y/N she shouldn't be carried away by her omega impulses, it didn't bring anything good.
- "I stayed in town for a while I think, then left without looking back. I have no idea what happened to the pick-up or her. I didn't find you though... it was enough for me."
Admitting it, thinking about it, made her feel vulnerable. She didn't like that feeling. That attempt had been a failure from the start, chances of meeting him simply by walking a few miles, going to any city, any street, had been zero and even if he had been there, messed up as she was by pain, Y/N wouldn't even know she had found him. She had been stupid, irresponsible, mindless but realizing when it got dark she was still hopelessly alone had been worse.
She shrugged, picking up the dessert to distract and control herself.
It was over now.
- "We'll make things right, you have my word. It will be enough to be together, there's no need to think about it" – she heard Roman assure, once again without excuses or pity, firm in his intentions – "no more car rides though"– he added with a reproachful look that made her smile.
No, there was no need to think about the past. Everything had already changed and Y/N had learned her lesson, but maybe it was time to learn something else, trying not to run away this time. It seemed easy at the time and yes it really all came down to being enough for each other, filling the void with their bond.
For days Roman's routine had always been the same, calculated to the second, with no margin for error or change. He woke up before dawn, shower, breakfast and run, spend the morning in the gym, then lunch and gym again until dinner time, after which he lock himself in the office taking care of the documents Paul brought or business that required his supervision, and then join her in bed when it was already late night and repeat everything the next day. He was locked in a bubble, focused on a single goal, counting minutes, preparing in advance for whatever would or could happen. An absolute, maniacal dedication that Y/N somehow admired. It made her proud to see that he was capable of so much and yet it also made her sad.
Because in the wild run of that family war, she was just a spectator. She repeated to herself that she had to be patient, be understanding, that she had to put aside anxieties and bad moods to support him as better as she could, but it weighed on her. She did whatever not to show it, not to think about it, and despite her efforts Y/N felt everything around her emptying and cooling, her sacrifices devalued and even ignored. They almost didn’t speak to each other anymore and certainly not about what they should have because there was no time for doing it, they didn’t spend together and when that happened he was focused on something else, Y/N had the feeling of having gone back to the days when they were two strangers, two separate worlds united by a thin wire.
She didn't want that, they weren't like that, they had both worked hard to make things work, succeeding, they had truly found themselves at the end. The idea they were affecting their relationship, the possibility to distance themselves so bad to spend a life like that, wasn't something Y/N could bear. They had overcome differences, they shouldn't have burned everything because they didn't see things the same way in war where their relationship was not in play. They just had to meet once again and remember. He had taught her that and Y/N hadn't believed him for a long time, but they really needed their bond.
On the now empty table on the patio, she opened the floor plan of her old house, the one she had had to leave and Roman had given her back. It was nothing compared to what she had now, but it could become something, maybe just for them, a place where nothing and no one could disturb them.
***
Day after day his body pushed further and further, urged by pressure, focused on a single goal from which Roman couldn’t look away. He couldn't afford any mistakes with Jey, Roman knew he could beat him and he would, but his cousin knew him better than any other out there. They were certainly on two different levels, however Roman couldn't allow him to prove anything if he wanted to regain the absolute control that the elders had questioned due to too many mistakes in those months. And it was for these reasons that getting out of his head, stopping and having those breaks had become an annoying obligation that he fulfilled in the shortest time and avoiding any extra thoughts. Lose focus was a weakness, give ground an advantage, something he couldn't tolerate.
When he closed the door behind him, the house was silent as if he were the only one around. It had been like this for a long time, but time had passed. Now it wasn’t empty, Y/N was there and not finding her in the living room as had been the case for days forced him to follow her trail to the outside. He expected to find her busy, but not to see her with all those papers on the table.
Why is she looking at them? Why she got that floor plan again?! Stop her. Now.
- "What are you doing?" – he asked, voice heavy and she immediately raised her head with a weak smile, one that she could have addressed to anyone, not to him.
- "Nothing, I was waiting for you. Is it already time for your break?"
If it was an attempt to push away the conversation or pretend, it didn't work. He knew those documents, he had signed them and he had been clear telling her not to get any strange ideas about her family's old house, and yet she was there looking at them page by page at a moment like this.
- "I asked you what you think you are doing Y/N" – he repeated seriously, convincing her to put them down.
- "I was keeping myself busy while I waited for you to finish. I answered."
He saw Y/N keep her gaze on him, head held high, back straight, but Roman still sensed what was behind, tension, heavy air. It was since he said he would no longer have regrets that Roman had seen her react like this and in the last few days the atmosphere had gotten even worse. She didn't comment, didn't ask, she stopped trying to argue, she was good at not showing it, but his wolf could sense it when he lay down next to her at night, saw the way she looked at him. It wasn't a good idea for her to punish his cousins despite what they had done to him, she couldn't stand the prospect of a fight, she had promised to stand by his side no matter what and after a year she still rejected his mark when she shouldn't have even had to choose whether to have it or not, now she also took out the floor plan of her old house even though he had given her another one, one for them, better.
We told her not to act like this, she doesn't need that house. We did everything, we gave everything to her.
He had spent the last year dedicating himself to their bond, proving time and time again that he was worthy, that he would be a good mate for her, he was doing so even facing his own family. Shielding their future family even before their bloodline was born. Jey e Jimmy had ruined his plans, it wasn’t his fault, he was risking everything for what they would have built together, for their future. He had proven who he was, Y/N had to know, no one before him had ever achieved so much, no one would ever bear such a burden, there was no alpha out there on his level able to take care of her and anyone else. She couldn't think about them again, she couldn’t doubt, it was crazy!
- "What Im doing is to keep everything for us, protect what we have" – he explained to her for the umpteenth time, seeing Y/N stop that attempt of a smile understanding what direction their conversation was taking, as he approached the table.
He didn't like losing his temper with her, he didn't want to, but Y/N had a fastlane to pushing him in any situation and that was definitely the wrong one. Why she was throwing it in his face? At home, while he spent the days preparing to end the mess out there and start again together?!
- "You say it all the time, I know."
Her and her mouth…
- "Because that's the only thing that matters, not sitting here fantasizing about alternatives."
- "Ain't fantasizing about anything. You're so focused that we don't spend more than ten minutes together, I thought we could have a break for a bit, do something together when it's all over... but I guess it's a no if you react like that."
No, she couldn't blame him. This mess wasn't his fault, he was fixing it, it wasn't on him!
- "I don't have time to plan these things, not when I have all the work to do and problems keep piling up! I told you this too. You should have get it by now what has priority and instead we are here discussing because you keep putting these ideas in your head!"
- "My apologies, my Tribal Chief, is that good?" – he heard her reply, mocking him and he froze.
He looked at her angrily, as if they were back to the days when she couldn't stand him and he was always on the verge of exploding. He looked at her out of his mind, mouth twitching, but she wasn't even giving him attention, too busy keeping her eyes somewhere other than him, in an act of submission that was more a provocation than an apology. He ran a hand over his beard, clenching his jaw, but it was just too much and he lowered himself, leaning on the table to tower over her. Her scent, so familiar, usually so comforting, immediately filled his lungs, a regenerating peace that clashed with their fatigue and that Roman felt once more from Y/N, her body stiffening as soon as his breath hit her cheek.
He was the Tribal Chief and would remain so until God woke him up again. People out there could have planned trials, clashes, attacks, anything, nothing would have changed. But she was different, she was not one of those folks. Y/N might not have his mark, she might claim every freedom she wanted, Roman would put up with it to please her, to make her happy, because she deserved it, but still didn't change anything. They wouldn't go back to those hellish days where they were nothing.
- "I'm more than that to you" – he reminded, seeing her nod.
- "I know" – she replied immediately, finally turning around.
Her eyes, dark as the water of the river that ran through Roman’s land, almost seemed to suck him in. Two sharp chasms where he had looked for her for months, until found her huddled at the bottom waiting for him. Roman had dragged her out of there, he had given her everything, all of himself and he would do it again every day, without holding back or thinking about it and that was exactly why he was acting like that. If it wasn't for him, she would still be there, alone and with no future.
- "Make that stuff disappear before I do it" – he ordered, straightening up.
Y/N didn't move, her eyes still on him, as Roman decided he'd had enough of that pause, walking away. Her reaction reached him through the bond, when he crossed the threshold to go back inside: a mixture of anger, pain and sadness.
It hurts.
It hit him like a wave, alarming his wolf despite the fight, but it disappeared just as quickly, as if Y/N had wiped it away and Roman took a second to look at her through the windows, check, while she gathered everything on the table, head down and in silence.
He had to focus on what needed to be done. Distractions were just more problems.
We’re doing it for everyone. She will understand soon.
***
She had put everything back in his office, locking the desk drawer almost throwing away the key.
Why is he acting like this? What did we do wrong?
Her she-wolf felt confused, hurt and so was Y/N, with a good amount of anger on top of that. She was trying with all of herself, she was doing everything every day to make things work, to not disappoint him, to be up to the task, to not miss the opportunity for a good life. She had learned to ignore what didn't require a reaction, to be understanding when with anyone else would have freaked out, she was trying to be a better version of herself for her sake and for Roman. Was it such a bad idea? She knew Roman was fighting for their place, for his packland, but she hadn't suggested to leave everything and disappear, she would never have done it because she knew what it meant, she just thought they might have a safe space somewhere else... in a future less sad and complicated. That house was important to Y/N, she wanted to do her part, help, give back doing something like Roman had done with the house they lived in now, share.
It's already his though.
His property... that's why he snapped?
Roman had considered it a waste of time, a fantasy to be put away... after all, why he should pay attention to something no one wanted to take away at that moment? something far from his family war, from the packland. It already belonged to him, her she-wolf was right to justify him, Y/N had pushed him first, there was nothing to share or fix there and Jimmy's words came back to her mind. She had thought about doing something for them and instead she had really wasted time.
“The house… you bought it to give her nowhere to run away from you.”
It was a gift. For us.
Roman had said so and Y/N had felt so special. But it had his name on it, everything, every sheet of paper.
He wanted to make us happy. The best for us.
“I don't want you to go there, okay? This is your place now, it's your home and you have to stay here. But one day maybe we can fix it and go together.”
One day. Maybe…
Together.
Maybe? now the memory sounded like a dad tricking his daughter into not throwing a tantrum.
Smell of aftershave mixed with something familiar distracted Y/N, reminding her that she was still in the office and she turned to stare at the door just before seeing Paul arrive with a folder of documents in his arms.
- "Y/N! I thought you were out for one of your runs" – he said after a second too long, tone surprised and suspicious, as he looked at her standing there –"… you alright? "
No one was allowed to go upstairs unless it was necessary, but business those days seemed a matter of life and death, so it was hardly surprising. The last safe place for her would have been the bathroom.
- "You seem a bit…"
- "Take comments for yourself, there's no point in having a conversation" – she said, moving away from the desk with the intention of disappearing, but Paul wouldn't have been Paul if he hadn't decided to ruin her day already messed up.
- "Of course not, but I think you’ll want to know I went to talk with the twins. Didn’t go as hoped. Jey… he doesn't listen" – he admitted with disappointment, taking her place to add more documents to those already placed everywhere and Y/N finally recognized what that other scent on him was.
- "He doesn't like you, it was pretty obvious."
The idea of talking sense to Jey had been stupid. Maybe Jimmy could have been a possibility even if he was the one who started shit, he would have talked to a wall regardless of his sympathies, but Jey? No, Jey wasn't made for those things and both him and Y/N shared the same opinion of Paul. Sure he had had more time to learn to tolerate the so called wiseman, but Y/N had known from the very first moment he wouldn't accept any proposal Paul was going to make him.
- "You do though. He allowed Solo and you to stay if… well you know – he threw it there with such nonchalance, but she wasn't willing to tolerate, it was the wrong day – "he’s attached to you, he think about you as someone to protect."
What is he trying to say?!
- "What I know is that they shouldn't fight and that you Paul, said you would make sure to avoid it."
The brilliant idea of saving her during the meeting a few days before had taken Y/N by surprise too, there was no agreement or plan behind it, she didn't even know why at that moment, with everything that was happening, Jey had decided to expose himself for her. She was almost absolutely certain it wasn't something normal in situations like the one they were in, she was Roman's mate and Jey was threatening to take everything away from him after all, but whatever was the reason it didn't matter because it wasn't what they needed to focus on, especially not Paul.
- "I fear that stopping everything is no longer an option, we don’t have time, they have sworn in front of the family now. Neither of them can back out" – heard him say with a funeral face that didn’t inspire pity in her.
- "So that ridicolous meeting was the point of no return?!" – she snapped and he choked, hands reaching out in an attempt to stop her when Y/N nerves were undergoing yet another stress test.
She respected Roman's family, she respected their traditions, but it was unthinkable to Y/N that a handshake was an unbreakable pact, not when both sides were risking everything and whoever was supposed to advise them, stop them, watched or made things worse. She couldn't, it was something she couldn’t understand. They were a family, they had to act like a family, not fighting.
- "I wouldn't talk like that, let's try to breath now okay? Think about it. There are other ways to swing things in our favor, I'm already working on something. An idea in the right ears works wonders."
- "You're working on something" – she repeated, feeling blood go straight to her head.
Yep, sure, after all they had time to act with calm, there was a week to go and everything was already a disaster, but who cared? They could also sit, chat, think and judge who remained to be sacrificed so they could sip a drink under the patio when their bright future would be on hand.
- "I know, I understand your concern, but if you decided to be more cooperative it would help a lot and speed things up. The twins are stubborn, but Jey making all these decisions on his own could work to our advantage if we prove that he isn't capable of"- he tried, but it wasn't the right day for her to listen his sneaky little games.
- "I won't help you making anyone believe anything. You are the wiseman, be the wiseman, find a way, just do it" – she silenced him, leaving the office without waiting an answer.
She wanted that fight, everything to end once and for all, she wanted to go back to months ago when Y/N had thought she could have everything missing in her life, she wanted a family, Roman to annoy her with his daily nonsense instead of dramas to survive and manipulations on a daily basis. She was tired and for the first time since the beginning even if she tried hard… she couldn't see the end.
Breath. Calm down. Don’t lose control, we can’t allow it. Breath.
***
Right, left, right, left, right, left again. The punching bag was easy to predict every time Roman hit it, Jey wouldn't follow those times when they would have been face to face. At some point he would shift, it was the only way he had to really bring Roman down. As both man and wolf, Roman was bigger than his cousin, bruises and broken bones wouldn't keep him down once they were out there, Jey would have to do more and to do so he would have no choice. He was fast, he would aim for multiple points, targeting him, Roman only needed one, the right one, like with the punching bag.
When he hit it seriously, the chain holding it up gave way, sending it down and putting Roman face to face with Solo, standing silently there, even though he hadn't asked to see him.
- "What's up?" – he asked, catching his breath and kicking the punching bag away.
- "He was talking to Y/N upstairs" – Solo said, without mincing words and Roman stopped, staring at him, his sweaty brow furrowed in an attempt to understand.
Y/N couldn't stand the wiseman. She had never liked him, from the first day, it had taken months to convince her to not growl when he approached and now they were talking? Alone upstairs, while he was there training?
- "About what?" – Roman asked, but Solo shrugged his shoulders in a heavy silence Roman had to accept, hiding his annoyance with a grimace.
First in his land. Then in his family. Now in his house. No… not that time.
Tag squad: @sunnyfleur23 @racerchix21 @alyyaanna @expert-texpert @romanreignsdefencesquad @romanstheory @claymorexpunisher @keybladeofsteel @msbigredmachine @nayys-world @gobbersworld @utika151209 @cumxxslutt @civildawn @romanmydaddy @triscillal @papireigns-05 @helensanders92 @darqchilddaydreamz @meggylynnloves @unfriendly--blvck--hottie @nicolewoo @joannasteez @reignsx @kianaleani @daguenoire @extra-11 @333creolelady @snowpanda18 @brattyfics @mzv11 @romanreignseater @sortudademais @dreamsinfocus @vebner37 @depressedneedingrevenge @cyberdejos2 @mahi-wayy @jxtina-86 @harmshake @southerngirl41 @smile1318 @wrestlingprincess80
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ryuichirou · 3 days
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Some replieeeees, also hey it’s Summer (just noticed that)
Anonymous asked:
WELL I DIDN'T KNOW I WAS GETTING BLESSED WITH SAVANACLAW ROOK TITS TODAY
GOOD LORD I'M GOING TO MOTORBOAT ON THEM VROOM VROOM 😚😚😚
SURPRISE, ANON! Motorboat them to your heart’s content.
I am very happy that you liked Rook tits; it was probably very naïve of me to think that his nipple won’t be the main star of the drawing lol
Anonymous asked:
Planning on revisiting aus?
We might, but there isn’t any planning involved here; we just randomly remember about them from time to time and sometimes want to add to them lol
 I’ve sketched a comic for the mafia AU not so long ago, but we only posted it on ko-fi for now…
Anonymous asked:
More Lilia content when?
Hopefully soon! We have some new stuff with him, so it’s a matter of time... If everything goes well, you should see a lot of more stuff relatively soon. For now he’s also on ko-fi, being unable to post regularly has fucked up our posting flow really badly.
Anonymous asked:
I'm not exactly caught up on the Savanaclaw Rook stuff,
But that doesn't mean I don't have some pretty fun thoughts.
Like one I had while looking at that art you recently posted.
And I'm just imagining Savanaclaw Rook and Pomefiore Rook are in the same room, for whatever reason, who knows, and Vil walks in-
And Pomefiore Rook looks at Savanaclaw Rook-
And he just sees the hearts in Savanclaw Rook's eyes while looking at Vil.
And he knows that Savanaclaw Rook's already as hooked on Vil as he is.
Cause Rook just having an "on sight" moment when first meeting Vil is something I absolutely love.
:)
Awwww, this is so cute. At first I thought you were going to make a ménage à trios joke…
He absolutely had an “on sight” moment when he first saw him at NRC; and while I think it’s fair to assume that this isn’t Rook’s actual first time seeing him (being such a theatre nerd and all),  seeing him irl probably felt different somehow.
Looking at S!Rook’s reaction is probably pretty nostalgic for P!Rook.
No but really they really should hug Vil together and show him all kinds of love-
Anonymous asked:
Thinking nonstop about the characters being called daddy and master post,, it makes me imagine a scenario where Silver's sleeping around campus (probably because his father told him to so he could live a little) and someone asks him to call them daddy... He would be so confused like "???? I am not your son 🤨" save my boy LOL
Silver calling Lilia daddy or papa in bed would just end up being so cute 😭 Lilia stopping what he's doing and totally breaking his image as a cool and strict dom to be like "Eh?? Ehh??? You haven't called me that in years 🥺"
(this is about this post)
I am very happy you enjoyed that one, Anon!
Oh poor Silver lol Or should I say poor people who will never be the father that Silver loves dearly… even though this isn’t what they wanted from him at all. And these poor fools would think that the issue is that the word is too familial, and this is why Silver doesn’t consider it sexy. If only they knew…
Imagining Lilia dropping his dom thing to gush over his precious son being very cute and suddenly calling him daddy/papa is very funny though, he wouldn’t expect that at all. Despite being all kinds of cursed, for some reason  this is the one moment that Lilia would consider pretty wholesome… which only makes it even more cursed lol
Although to be honest it’s surprisingly difficult to imagine Silver calling Lilia anything other than “oyaji-dono”. Imagine Silver’s first word being not “papa” but “oyaji-dono” instead…
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scarletiswailing347 · 2 years
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getting back into the swing of things
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munamania · 7 months
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something that makes me feel guilty is the fact that seeing that persons face rn literally makes me angry. they walked into class and i nearly winced. and in all fairness they were quite kind to me. outside of the several kind of odd red flags. girl whatever. to be quite frank i am a horny bastard and vocal proud etc but few people interest me enough to actually want to hang out with and get to know And i have deep seated intimacy issues so it's like. we really dont have a shot unless the circumstances r exactly right on a full moon perfect thursday of a month etc like. well and tbh i probably would have fucked around with this person but i dont... care... about some big relationship w them.. and i know i could be a relationship girl like eventually i have it in me to have a muse that's what im built for i think idc but not rn... rn i need to hang out with my friends and do my film stuff and have people that maybe wanna make out sometimes is that so much to ask for. for a lesbian at a bar to want to make out perhaps. ** for there to be lesbians at the bars to potentially make out with.
#and i am quite lonely yes thank u for asking. yeah someday id love to get to know someone again in the context of falling in love#what about it. so what now. i dont think im meant for our understanding of romantic love but boy do i crave it#why am i having this moment rn. well ok consider im on my period all i could think about this morning was [redacted] and both parties#of my dyke drama were back in class today. and the one gay person that i think has a crush on me but we dont see each other super often#so im just. guessing based on the way awkward lesbians communicate. idk#and i feel really just mean but i quite literally dont have it in me to pretend to be nice to this person anymore#i wasnt like. some villain for realizing we were acting really coupley and being like oh shit because i didnt want to hurt them#. and trying to communicate and put some distance between us when i thought they were probably in too deep. it's unfortch it took me a sec#but jesus christ yk i cant walk around and feel awkward about it forever. and im frustrated by the fact that we're just acting so odd#but again frankly i think it's largely bc they have an unhealthy relationship with dating. THROWING HORIZONTAL PUNCHES HERE.#OK. STONES FROM A GLASS HOUSE. IM AWARE. REAL RECOGNIZES REAL.#and YET. despite my past insanity. ive been kind. i can understand disappointment and a little awkwardness#but jesus would you rather i pretend to be in love with you for months and then really break your heart.#this is where i get mean and make a joke like well hey if we couldve had weird really mediocre sad angry dyke sex abt it#that would have been cool with me. but alas. we're here instead and it's fucking with my friendships too#and like we were kind of ok friends too. what now. its just u me and this brick wall u built between us bitch#now was EYE not answering texts for a minute. we dont need to get into it.#because the thing IS if i dont play things exactly right. and im not good at that without prior planning. i will accidentally say or do#something that i know. again. from being insane myself. would be just enough for them to hold onto hope#and im not trying to do that to them you know. i was trying to help with the detachment. shitty as it may be. i dont fucking know dude#this post is going to make me look kind of. well. whatever u guys have seen me at my worst. mostly. and post#ok one last thing sorry if this makes me sound like i have a giant ego. like wow heres this person who really liked me and im just shitting#all over them. not what im meaning to do but whatever
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salsflore · 8 months
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been almost 3 yrs and i am still struggling with the whole mikachi first meeting thing. bye
#for zl its something simple. i just saw cute fanart of it with another ship [ p sure it was someones 2 ocs ] and enjoyed the idea#i lost my black umbrella irl but tbf it doesnt really matter because i always fucking forget to bring it anyways. so sometimes i get caught#in the rain. so idk zl lends me his umbrella bc. fuck! heading in the same direction and is like hey loser . . let me help you . .#cue immediate heart eyes bc handsome stranger helped her. like Wow Yuo Are So Cool... ♡#afterwards she mentions this interaction to her friend [ yun jin or hu tao .. unsure but they are both so silly so its hard 2 decide ] and#then they are like wait i know that grandpa you're talking about! let me set you up lalala theres this whole thing i'm lazy#i'll write about it Maybe bc i do want to write for my platonic f/os. and also cover all the [ firsts ] in my self ships#its just: i don't like feeling obligated to stick to things (like a series or theme or whatever) so maybe not. would be nice though..#nobody in this world is allowed to laugh at me i'll die#as for childe my plan was he breaks into her house and then shes like wtf who r u?!! they make eye contact and kiss + get married asap#no actually i truly dont know. zl's is slightly easier because he lives a mortal life. just chills#has connections with a lot of the liyue chars. literally just enjoying his retirement era now#ajax doesn't have many connections ( other harbingers but they dgaf about each other i think x ) and i just cant imagine that. idk#just fucking. bumping into him would lead to anything. maybe i should turn into a fish and have him fish me up and then i transform into a#girl and then we fall in love what do you guys think (losing my grip on humanity)#💭#mika ♡ ajax#mika ♡ zhongli
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lyxchen · 2 years
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AHDHDHDHWHDHEUQVDUDS7WHWU BESTIES!!!!!
I'm going to the Back To The Musical World 2 event in Paris!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!/pos
I'm so excited!!!!!!!!!
Also I am probably going to the event alone so if anyone on here is going there too then we could meet up!!!!! I only have a ticket for saturday tho, but still!!!
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sick of making plans with a specific friend only for her to not reach out abt actually hanging out until the afternoon after i’ve waited all day to hear back from her or for her to just cancel last minute entirely after i’ve again waited all day to hear back from her
#like i genuinely fucking get that sometimes life is exhausting and you’re tired and sometimes you need to take care of urself before hanging#out with people but for it to be so fucking consistent is exhausting for ME#we don’t even fucking make plans that often it’s literally maybe once a fucking month if that#like you’re telling me somehow whenever we have plans that’s when you’re SOOOOOO exhausted ?????? but you left the house 39203 other times#to do shit that takes up way more mental capacity than sitting bat your house smoking weed for a while and catching up?????#i just don’t fucking get it dude i really don’t#if i make plans with someone and the day of i don’t want to anymore i always tell them right fucking away so they don’t spend all day waitin#around and planning their entire day around it just to get fucked over#idk i’m just frustrated and probably need to eat something and i’ll be less angry#i’m just like. upset bc i don’t understand why she only ever seems to cancel on me or only seems to be soooooo exhausted when it’s the day#we planned to hang out like i just think it’s unfair to me and i Have expressed this in general before so it’s like ok cool#thanks for taking my own feelings and time into consideration 🙄🙄😐#like i literally love and adore my friends more than life itself and it just hurts and is shitty when someone doesn’t act the same even tho#they’ve said the opposite idk#i genuinely hope i don’t sound like a dick right now bc i truly really understand when ppl are mentally exhausted or deal with chronic issue#issues* bc fucking SAME HERE I ALSO DEAL WITH ALL RHAT so it’s like idk i just don’t wanna sound like a dick i am just upset i’m not feeling#like i’m loved the same as i love people idk this always happens to me i feel like i just love too much and i over project and then when i#don’t get the same things in return i feel like people actually don’t like me or secretly are tryin to separate from me idk it’s shitty i#hate it so bad i want a normal brain this shitnfucking sucks#my brain is going too hard now tho i need to stop before i spiral for real right here right now on tumblr dot com
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ruckis--rookie · 1 year
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sometimes I wanna slap some sense into people of my own age group / a little bit younger than me and tell them to go outside
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loverboybitch · 1 year
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𓆩♡𓆪 crazy that there are infinities inside me for real.//.
#imjustsittinghere#my friend texted me from berlin right now just like#he said all the outfits hes seen so far are crazy and that id love it there#he said its montreal if montreal was serious lol#literally how i was like maybe ill move tomontreal or berlin like. if that isnt serendipitous#gonna make my way there one day i swear#maybe ill actually make a plan for next year#think i might try to spend some time in malta maybe meet up with some friends in berlin? would be kind of cool for like a week or something#spend a month in malta if i can maybe?#ideally if i could get someone to sublet my room in toronto that would be perfect so i wouldnt waste all my rent money#but if i hold onto my job i can bring my laptop there and work a couple shifts so its not like a complete write off u know?#maybe next fall...thatd be the fun time to go i think anyway n gives me a lot of time to save up#if i can stop myself from spending money on clothes i could fr do it lol#jus gotta focus on making my own#n i just got a brand new dope ass hoodie so im satiated for now#extremly jealous tho my friends are in berlin rn and going to paris for a couple days#going montreal at least tho next weekend with some other friends n going skiing n probably to a cool skate bar#at least thats hype <3#on my evil villain arc which really just means im trying to be less scared and follow my dreams a little#hope it works : )#really do love the whole my boss said i look like a villain thing tho im latching onto that heavy#kind of been playing with this creative space/idea of embracing the lil demon imp that lives in me so it just seems very timely and fitting#jsut really identifying with the word imp idk more on that later
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inkykeiji · 2 years
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Have you pulled for tartaglia yet??👀
yes!!! and i got him!! now, however, i am saving every possible gem for ayatoooooooo
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i love the online community and the culture but being part of the terminally online gang is really having more cons than pros
#debating what im gonna do now#im still gonna post stuff here sure but only on my computer maybe? like im seriously considering deleting the app from my phone#plus im thinking of actually like. making a schedule for myself#thats a lot harder in practice though because if im not gonna be on my phone then im gonne be doing a slee of random activities#the which i cant really predict#like yes yes yes having everything on my day mapped out and all my activities ready sounds so good#but i know that when the time comes for me to sit down and do something ill be like ''actually what if i like did something else''#im also gonna see if i can manage to get my hands on a portable cd player or something to minimize what i use my phone for#ideally id have an ipod cus that sounds cool but i have zero clue if you need itunes to use it#can i just like? download shit onto it? please#im also seriously considering going back to swimming#or. something. my mom told me weightlifting is soo perfect for me cus i like doing suff alone but i have anxiety and also cant wok out -#without someones help cus im that weak#im really not athletic ok. like i suck really hard at everything athletics. i dont know why im even considering going back to swimming#im mostly just wanting to do something like that so my mom stops bothering me about physical activities#maybe i can go on daily walks...#i have the hobbies that i like. enjoy doing too#like dnd and drawing and writting and playing my guitar and (more recently) miniature stuff#im planning on customizing a dollhouse i have ! but the theme hasnt really been set yet augh#i think im gonna drop athleticism and focus on my nerd shit#and yeah im gonna delete the tumblr app from my phone so no more posts throughout the day#i have one more week of break before classes come back and its oe week to get a strong daily guideline for my days#txt
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tearlessrain · 3 months
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please help me- i used to be pretty smart but i’m having so much trouble grasping the concept of diegetic vs non-diegetic bdsm!
gfkjldghfd okay first of all I'm sorry for the confusion, if you're not finding anything on the phrase it's because I made it up and absolutely nobody but me ever uses it, but I haven't found a better way to express what I'm trying to say so I keep using it. but now you've given me an excuse to ramble on about some shit that is only relevant to me and my deeply inefficient way of talking and by god I'm going to take it.
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SO. the way diegetic and non-diegetic are normally used is to talk about music and sound design in movies/tv shows. in case you aren't familiar with that concept, here's a rundown:
diegetic sound is sound that happens within the world of the movie/show and can be acknowledged by the characters, like a song playing on the stereo during a driving scene, or sung on stage in Phantom of the Opera. it's also most other sounds that happen in a movie, like the sounds of traffic in a city scene, or a thunderclap, or a marching band passing by. or one of the three stock horse sounds they use in every movie with a horse in it even though horses don't really vocalize much in real life, but that's beside the point, the horse is supposed to be actually making that noise within the movie's world and the characters can hear it whinnying.
non-diegetic sound is any sound that doesn't exist in the world of the movie/show and can't be perceived by the characters. this includes things like laugh tracks and most soundtrack music. when Duel of Fates plays in Star Wars during the lightsaber fight for dramatic effect, that's non-diegetic. it exists to the audience, but the characters don't know their fight is being backed by sick ass music and, sadly, can't hear it.
the lines can get blurry between the two, you've probably seen the film trope where the clearly non-diegetic music in the title sequence fades out to the same music, now diegetic and playing from the character's car stereo. and then there are things like Phantom of the Opera as mentioned above, where the soundtrack is also part of the plot, but Phantom of the Opera does also have segments of non-diegetic music: the Phantom probably does not have an entire orchestra and some guy with an electric guitar hiding down in his sewer just waiting for someone to break into song, but both of those show up in the songs they sing down there.
now, on to how I apply this to bdsm in fiction.
if I'm referring to diegetic bdsm what I mean is that the bdsm is acknowledged for what it is in-world. the characters themselves are roleplaying whatever scenarios their scenes involve and are operating with knowledge of real life rules/safety practices. if there's cnc depicted, it will be apparent at some point, usually right away, that both characters actually are fully consenting and it's all just a planned scene, and you'll often see on-screen negotiation and aftercare, and elements of the story may involve the kink community wherever the characters are. Love and Leashes is a great example of this, 50 Shades and Bonding are terrible examples of this, but they all feature characters that know they're doing bdsm and are intentional about it.
if I'm talking about non-diegetic bdsm, I'm referring to a story that portrays certain kinks without the direct acknowledgement that the characters are doing bdsm. this would be something like Captive Prince, or Phantom of the Opera again, or the vast majority of bodice ripper type stories where an innocent woman is kidnapped by a pirate king or something and totally doesn't want to be ravished but then it turns out he's so cool and sexy and good at ravishing that she decides she's into it and becomes his pirate consort or whatever it is that happens at the end of those books. the characters don't know they're playing out a cnc or D/s fantasy, and in-universe it's often straight up noncon or dubcon rather than cnc at all. the thing about entirely non-diegetic bdsm is that it's almost always Problematic™ in some way if you're not willing to meet the story where it's at, but as long as you're not judging it by the standards of diegetic bdsm, it's just providing the reader the same thing that a partner in a scene would: the illusion of whatever risk or taboo floats your boat, sometimes to extremes that can't be replicated in real life due to safety, practicality, physics, the law, vampires not being real, etc. it's consensual by default because it's already pretend; the characters are vehicles for the story and not actually people who can be hurt, and the reader chose to pick up the book and is aware that nothing in it is real, so it's all good.
this difference is where people tend to get hung up in the discourse, from what I've observed. which is why I started using this phrasing, because I think it's very crucial to be able to differentiate which one you're talking about if you try to have a conversation with someone about the portrayal of bdsm in media. it would also, frankly, be useful for tagging, because sometimes when you're in the mood for non-diegetic bodice ripper shit you'd call the police over in real life, it can get really annoying to read paragraphs of negotiation and check-ins that break the illusion of the scene and so on, and the opposite can be jarring too.
it's very possible to blur these together the same way Phantom of the Opera blurs its diegetic and non-diegetic music as well. this leaves you even more open to being misunderstood by people reading in bad faith, but it can also be really fun to play with. @not-poignant writes fantastic fanfic, novels, and original serials on ao3 that pull this off really well, if you're okay with some dark shit in your fiction I would highly recommend their work. some of it does get really fucking dark in places though, just like. be advised. read the tags and all that.
but yeah, spontaneous writer plug aside, that's what I mean.
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cryptidapprentice · 12 days
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UGH
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okay i like living where i can walk and bike to places i need to go but there is something to be said for living distantly enough from your neighbors that they don’t frequently try to come and do unsolicited yardwork on your property
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