#I used to fight with people(in this case i was the aggresor the one that get phsical idk if people fighted back i dont remember)

[celibibratty]

bullying is such a fuck up type of phsychological abuse(i hate that people don't take it seriously to call it an abuse but it is a type of abuse), you don't know what to do, is helpless, when we were kids, everybody used to say(mostly our mother) "just ignore them, they will eventually stop, they will lose interest if you show no reaction", but don't do anything/show no reaction also makes things worse(i hated it, it never helped), it only proves how much of a victim you are, it shows that it won't have any consequences, they can do anything with you whenever they want CUZ YOU ALWAYS WILL DO NOTHING, but if you do react things can go two ways round (or you intimidate them in a way that they will stop trying messing with you(very difficult) or will make worse cuz they will find entertaining), is a no escape situation, you feel stuck, theres nothing to do, every little move or word makes things worse(the advice that i hated the most and mom always used to suggest was "just play along with it, smile, find it funny too", i never bought it that bullshit, they werent my fucking Friends, i not gonna let myself/ourselves being a joke,what they do it/say it hurted me, i can't just pretend it doesnt upsets me)

#reflection #Just a Random thought of the night #I say that our bullying was pretty much psychological but it was also starting to get it phsical #I always remember of an episode that a girl pushed marina to the ground the girl pushed very aggressively(it was kinda dangerous the ground #I just remember me running to her direction kinda worried the girl just walked away as if was nothing she didnt give a damn #I was like are you okay?And marina stand up very calm a little upset (it was weird it seemed like we were so used that we didnt even react #I used to fight with people(in this case i was the aggresor the one that get phsical idk if people fighted back i dont remember) #mom and dad dont even know the rest of it it was so many mess up things i never tell them and both of us has a story #Why do i remembering the bullying phase? Its our/my birthday i shouldnt be thinking about that #I get angry with mom and dad for not Having dealt better the bullying but i think they didn't helped because they also didnt knew what to d #Funny how you can be a family but everyone in it has a different reality #Like my mother suffered a type of bully by her family (uncles) she uses that experience to prove that she understand us... #No mom! suffer bullying from parents its different from suffering bullying by society it mess with your head diferently #Both are bad but they affect differently its not the same thing you don't know how it is/was