#NEDAwareness ComeAsYouAre FuckAna

[havivian]

NEDA 2019

This years' National Eating Disorder Awareness Week, as we stray away from harmful side-by-side comparison photos and the unnecessary sharing of numbers: we must begin to address not the physical outcomes of the mental disorder, but instead the thoughts they bring and why they do, and what can be done to prevent them. I have struggled with both Anorexia and Bulimia, inevitably accompanied by Body Dysmorphia, since I was thirteen. Contrary to popular belief, Anorexia Nervosa has no weight criteria; as it can be defined as not a body type or shape, but instead "an emotional disorder characterized by an obsessive desire to lose weight by refusing to eat." That means that any human being making the conscious decision to restrict their caloric intake in an unhealthy manner with the intent to lose weight for an extended period of time, is one who suffers from Anorexia Nervosa- despite what their scale says. Eating Disorders are simply not the picture perfect Lily Collins love story Netflix and the rest of the world want you to believe. Eating disorders are laying awake at night feeling your body begin to cannibalize itself in a desperate attempt for the protein necessary to carry out the most basic of daily tasks. They're ugly, open sores on your knuckles from excessive skin to stomach acid contact. Crying over Rice Krispies. Balding before adulthood. Your family and friends concerned looks as they notice the increased prominence and visibility of your bones poking against your skin each time they see you. A new coat of thin white hair produced by your body determined to remain insulated. Constantly horrified by the thought of taking up space in a room. Cramps from dehydration as your mind slowly becomes too afraid of drinking water, terrified at the mere thought of the bloat it may cause. Cancelling every plan as you feel simply "too fat" to be seen by anyone beyond your own four walls. Need I go on. Eating disorders are ugly and they're unforgiving. And no- eating disorders can't be cured by somebody falling in love with you, not unless that somebody is yourself.

So, this year, instead of using a picture from a time I was dangerously underweight to brag about how great my disordered mind thought depriving my sick body of nutrients made me look; here I am now. Living a life not measured by pounds or calories but instead laughter and moments occupied by genuine happiness. The physical "before" is irrelevant. We recover or we die. As once sang by Florence Welch,

"I thought that love was a kind of emptiness, And at least I understood then the hunger I felt,

And I didn’t have to call it loneliness.”

Here's to practicing healthier coping mechanisms, building positive mentalities, becoming strong, resilient human beings and of course, here's to a lifetime devoted to recovery.

[phone]hr USA NEDA hotline

my dms are always open to any questions/ advice to the best of my ability

#NEDA #NEDAwareness ComeAsYouAre FuckAna