#Safeantidestiel

[castielmacleod]

Desti3l critic:

One of the things I dislike most about the way fans treat this ship is that... it is always about Dean. The way Dean is focused on and portrayed rather than it being about Cas himself. It is usually about how Castiel gives something to Dean and Dean gets the focused POV, Castiel is just... there to be an emotional support. And honestly the way it tracks with the show's portrayal of things and the way the protagonist centered POV plays out and the way the show itself does the same thing with Castiel's character.... is just simply sad.

NO FOR REAL THOUGH.. even when I was more tolerant of fanon D*stiel this ALWAYS bothered the shite out of me.

Because for 99% of these people D*stiel literally IS about Dean, ultimately, and always has been. The whole narrative that they find so compelling is about the ~faithless man~ saved from damnation by a literal angel. It’s about Dean getting to have this literal angel look at him and all his flaws and save him and love him anyway because that’s what Dean needs. Like it literally is about Dean fans wanting someone to come and therapise Dean at any cost and fix him with his (fetishised) gay love and it’s infuriating. Even when they do try to talk from Cas’ pov it’s still Dean centric, because they say Dean specifically is the only reason Cas rebelled and that Cas could only find contentment in life if Dean loved him back, or it’s discussion of Cas doing xyz sacrificial thing for Dean and never any of Cas’ other actions that are unrelated to Dean. No matter which angle they come from it always seems to be about what Cas does for Dean. I’m sure (sarcastic) that has nothing to do with the fact that Dean does absolutely nothing for Cas, ever 🥴

Like above all D*stiel has to be about Dean because if it was actually about Cas then it would have to be about how Dean is categorically Cas’ abuser who literally created or otherwise exacerbated so many of Cas’ severe psychological issues, and heIIers don’t want to confront or even acknowledge that because that contradicts the “secret good” spn that they hallucinate over the actual episodes (that they then get mad at other people for not seeing 😭)

#Dean critical #Safeantidestiel #Tw abuse mention #Ask

[castielmacleod]

POV you are me scrolling through the Castiel tag on tumblr dot com

#My posts #Dean critical #Safeantidestiel #This is. Not anything new but it’s making me lose it 😭😭😭

[castielmacleod]

The fact that Cas does not and has never taken Crowley’s shit is actually SO critical for why Crowstiel actually works as a Cas ship, especially over D*stiel. Because Cas basically prostrates himself before Dean on all levels but physical and he accepts both Dean’s orders and inordinately harsh judgements of him almost always without questioning or pushing back, and he sacrifices his self respect, his self worth, his own wants and needs in order to be what Dean wants him to be. But Crowley? Lol. If Crowley for whatever reason ever tried to pull anything even slightly petty or unfair, Cas would literally not have ONE second of it. He would call him out in an instant and we see that on the show all the time. And I’m saying all this as one of the maybe 5 people who can imagine Crowstiel being not just completely contentious, so it’s not that I think Cas would actually need to constantly stand up to Crowley or defend himself all the time. But it’s the idea of Cas, as someone who is VERY prone to letting people walk all over him when he wants to keep their favour, getting to have a partner who he for sure will never allow to do that, and who loves him without him feeling the need to be subservient in order to maintain that love—a partner he can feel like an actual equal beside, who doesn’t push him to the point of foregoing his own self respect and self worth. Imo.

#Does this make any sense at all #Crowstiel #Dean critical #Safeantidestiel #My posts #For example: #Dean saying “you dropped the ball” to Cas when the whole team fails and Cas is like yes I alone did this 😔 #And Dean just continues to rage at him and he takes it #Crowley saying “you dropped the ball” to Cas when the whole team fails and Cas is like OH I’m sorry and you didn’t? #And maybe there’s a brief back and forth but Cas would not back down until Crowley admitted he dropped the ball too #You KNOW Cas wouldn’t #And frankly that’s already a way healthier foundation for a relationship compared to D*stiel anything

[castielmacleod]

Such a big part of being a Crowstiel person is, to me, just the sheer fucking bitterness on behalf of these two characters who BOTH wanted to be loved so badly but were denied and rejected over and over again, suffered being in unrequited love with the same abusive manipulator, and had their hearts used against them over and over again until they both literally just killed themselves. So imagining a scenario where they get to ditch the man who treated them both so poorly and move on to find love with each other instead is just so cathartic and in a really satisfying way.

#It’s not the *only* part but it is a significant one at least for me #Crowstiel #My posts #Tw suicide mention #Tw abuse mention #Safeantidestiel #This is not even including the tons of compelling ~evidence~ for why their relationship is real and works lol

[castielmacleod]

The more I think about it the more the cycle of D*stiel is literally so exhausting. Dean mistreats and trivialises Cas —> Cas dies, usually after sacrificing himself for Dean —> Dean feels guilty over Cas’ death, causing depression and self-directed anger —> Cas is revived, Dean’s guilt diminishes and he plays nice with Cas for a brief time —> Cas inevitably stops acting like the idealised Stepford version of him that existed in Dean’s head while Cas was gone, which irritates Dean —> Dean mistreats and trivialises Cas. So forth and so on. There is genuinely nothing romantic about any of this. 

#Safeantidestiel #Dean critical #My posts #He’s the same way with Sam #It’s just abuse

[castielmacleod]

Remember in 15x06 (t-minus 12 episodes before the “most caring man on earth” speech btw) when Dean literally almost brought Cas to tears by giving him a hard time on the phone and then hanging up on him when Cas needed his help to cover for him on a case. I think about it a lot because it’s FAR from the worst interaction Cas has ever had with Dean ESPECIALLY as of late, but it’s still the fact that Dean was clearly less interested in actually warning Cas about Chuck and more interested in making Cas feel guilty for leaving (even though Dean more or less pushed Cas out the door) and for not wanting contact with them. It was still awful enough of an interaction for Cas that it visibly frustrated him to such a point.

Because we know Cas is in the process of trying to leave a categorically abusive relationship here. He is obviously trying very hard to have no contact with Dean to the point of ignoring even Sam, so he definitely would not have wanted to fall back to calling the Winchesters’ fake FBI phone if it hadn’t been absolutely necessary for his investigation. He didn’t intend or want to talk to Dean himself but Dean forced it—and knowing Dean, it was almost certainly a power thing over any actual demonstration of care or worry for Cas’ wellbeing. Regardless of Dean’s intentions, though, it was clearly not an interaction Cas was comfortable with having, and even that relatively small amount of harshness from Dean over the phone was enough to bring Cas to this

So case in point is that this interaction on its own may not be the worst ever, and sure Dean did the bare minimum of covering for Cas and telling him about Chuck, but in the context of what happened before (Cas was more or less driven out of the bunker by Dean’s belligerence and refusal to cut him even the slightest break) and what Cas was trying to do (leave the person who was treating him poorly to the point of having no contact for his own personal wellbeing, and in the meantime solve a case in order to save people) then Dean using the situation to force Cas into talking to him only to guilt trip him and make him feel still beholden to Dean despite Dean himself having pushed Cas away, and then hanging up on him, is just. Incensing. 

#Dean critical #Safeantidestiel #Bitter Cas Fan Days #Found this in my drafts so I figured it might as well add it to the day’s mix #My posts #Tw abuse mention

[castielmacleod]

Unfriendly—hostile, in fact—reminder that Cas did NOT care about the whole world or learn to love because of Dean. He had canonically been getting involved with humanity and straying from the host all throughout history, with Naomi wiping his mind clean after the fact just as many times. Rebelling to stop the apocalypse may have been the one he finally got away with, but Cas has ALWAYS been the one of the line with a crack in his chassis and if you ignore that core trait of his in favour of giving credit to his abuser for the sake of making your ship look like it means something then you’re being wilfully ignorant, is the thing.

#My posts #Dean critical #Bitter Cas Fan Days #Safeantidestiel

[castielmacleod]

Remember when Dean called Cas a tool, and then Cas went out of his way to sit with Dean and confess that he’s not a tool and that he has thoughts and feelings of his own? And then Dean spent the next 12 years treating Cas like a tool with no thoughts and feelings of his own. Anyway

#Dean critical #Safeantidestiel #My posts #Dean never gave a shit about Cas and never respected the gravity of Cas’ rebellion and never respected what Cas had to overcome #He only supported Cas’ fight for free will when it suited his own purposes first #He saw someone conditioned to follow orders and act as a tool and said it’s free fuckin real estate

[castielmacleod]

Actually even just in general the 5x03 brothel scene is so repulsive to me, not least of all because it was so grossly coercive on Dean’s part. Cas was incredibly scared and reluctant to do what Dean wanted him to go and do, but Dean flat out did not give him the option to say no and even threatened him. “Don’t make me push you.” That is categorically coercion. 

Cas only went with Chastity at all because he trusted Dean, even though Dean had demonstrated nothing but clear disregard for Cas’ own feelings. I think it’s also telling that as soon as Cas was alone with Chastity, Cas did something to botch the encounter before anything could actually happen.

The fact is that Cas wanted nothing to do with that whole situation at every single turn but Dean quite directly forced him into it. Because of course Cas’ “last night on earth” had to be about what Dean wanted for Cas, not about Cas’ own wants or interests.

And then tptb played this all for laughs.

#And then heIIers labelled this a “DestieI scene” 😐 #Dean critical #Safeantidestiel #My posts #Ask to tag #This is just the start of Cas’ consent issues too #And just the start of Dean trying to push women on Cas despite how overwhelmingly uninterested in dating women Cas is #Anyway I literally hate this show so much #And god do I EVER fucking hate Dean

[castielmacleod]

Dean about Cas or Sam or literally anybody else in his life when they stop acting like his personal Stepford bitch for two seconds

#I imagine this is also h*llers about Dean whenever they actually watch the show but who can say #Dean critical #Safeantidestiel #My posts

[castielmacleod]

I’ve been thinking and we are long overdue for an anti D/stiel tag that is SPECIFICALLY anti W/ncest, SPECIFICALLY pro Cas, and anti Dean. I am so tired of looking for likeminded people and rational criticism and only finding the worst takes I’ve ever seen in my life.

That’s why I want to propose #safeantidestiel. No incest, no abuse apologism, no victim blaming. Ideally no Cas hate, either, though I’ll say you don’t necessarily need to be a Cas stan to use the tag, as long as you aren’t anti Cas.

Anyone can use #safeantidestiel for D/stiel critical discussion, vents, or anything else, as long as it aligns with the criteria I indicated. Feel free to reblog this or otherwise spread the word.

#I’m obviously not going to put this in the tag where all the w* people hang out so I’ll just tag #Dean critical #Anti Dean #Because I think that’s the most efficient way of reaching the people I want this to reach #Safeantidestiel #My posts

[castielmacleod]

Remember when Cas watched Dean rake leaves while invisible. Not to be dark but in my head he did that while Dean was on the nail. And just let himself watch it happen.

#In my head when Cas gets out of the Empty he one way or another recognises the abuse he suffered from Dean. And how it wasn’t love at all #And finally takes the opportunity to be free of Dean instead of going back #But I think he would go and watch Dean die. Not out of spite #Like he wouldn’t be “happy” about it #He’d probably have complex grief about it especially after everything he sacrificed to save this man over and over #But he would let himself watch just for a sense of closure. If nothing else #Idk it’s 4am #My posts #Dean critical #Safeantidestiel #And I say he’d LET himself watch because part of him would still want to swoop in and save Dean yet again #But he’d allow himself not to #And just.. finally let Dean go #He’d just watch the whole thing emotionlessly #He’d maybe feel bad for Sam. But also hopeful that Sam will be able to move on with his life without Dean controlling it #And he wouldn’t reveal himself he’d just leave and return to heaven and the remaining members of his family #And try to move on with his own life #Anyway no sympathy for abusers <3 love and light

[castielmacleod]

Hello bitter Cas fans and DestieI dislikers I’m thinking of ways to survive thee fifth this year and I know @vaicomcas has talked about a Bitter Cas Fan Week of some variety, so being inspired by that.. idk. I realise this would be a very quick turnaround for a whole week, so what if to start, and just for the particular occasion, we did like…. Bitter Cas Fan.. Days.

This would be just a small maybe 2-day event, from the 5th to the 6th, to share works or meta or think pieces regarding how Castiel’s story (and Billie’s, honestly) ended in canon. I’m imagining something like:

Day one, Nov 5th, with the prompt “Despair” (obviously the title of 15x18). This is the day were we can all vent and lament about how miserable and infuriating Cas’ ending was, complain about that speech and its assertions, the whole bury your gays element, how unfairly Billie was vilified and unceremoniously killed as well, etc.

Day two, Nov 6th, with the prompt “The Truth” (the original title of 15x18 before it was changed to Despair, aren’t I cheeky!). This is the day where we can imagine a better world where Cas and/or Billie are resurrected after 15x18 and get to freely live on, or maybe even a world where 15x18 never happened or went differently. Our truth if you will.

This could be just a really informal thing for anyone who wants to commiserate with likeminded individuals as the rest of spnbIr celebrates one of the worst episodes of television I’ve ever personally seen. Text posts and overall conversation would be the main medium for it but any art or writing would be amazing if you’re someone who can pull something together that quickly.

I won’t create a whole shiny blog for this or anything, so if anyone’s interested you can just tag your posts with #Bitter Cas Fan Days through November 5th and 6th and hopefully we can all make it through peak Dusty Yell season together!

#My posts #So I guess I’ll just do #Safeantidestiel #Dean critical #<— to keep the w* and pro Dean anti Cas people away lol #Because I’m not putting this directly in the CastieI tag I’m too much of a coward for that 😭 #And I could not be more scared of the main anti DestieI tag. Everyone in there is fucking ill. No thanks #Bitter Cas Fan Days #I would love a full week someday though #This is just something small so the fifth doesn’t make me insane

[castielmacleod]

While I’m on the subject I hope everyone who genuinely thinks Dean beating Cas in The Prisoner is “sexy” or “homoerotic” or a “D*stiel scene” never interacts with a gay man in real life. As a gay man that scene makes me sick to my stomach. Cas loves Dean so much that he doesn’t even fight back as Dean beats him bloody, and then as if it couldn’t get worse, Cas goes on to have flashbacks to the incident during a literal panic attack in the next season (11x06). This fight—and I don’t even like to call it a fight because that implies effort on both sides when it was actually a one-sided beating—was demonstrably traumatic for Cas. Dean doing the bare minimum of not murdering Cas (while swearing he WILL murder Cas “next time”) does not suddenly make that scene romantic. Dean throwing Cas against a table and then straddling him while grabbing him by the tie is not “homoerotic” it’s just violence. In case it needs saying, Dean is hurting Cas, not trying to fuck him, and despite what you might have read on ao3 or seen in p*rn there is actually a difference. I don’t even care if you enjoy this scene for the drama or whatever but if you care about Castiel even a little bit—if you care about respecting mlm even a little bit—you’ll stop asserting the D*stiel “implications” of this scene. At least.

#I make this post once every few months but I keep seeing the most horrible shit so #Safeantidestiel #Dean critical #Castiel #Also I guess if you ARE mlm and you think this scene was sexy. Get well soon 🥴 #My posts #Like I love Crowstiel with my whole heart and soul and I don’t think Cas shoving Crowley into the wall when he was mad at him was hot #It’s really easy to not think that

[castielmacleod]

Hate when people say Dean and Mary are “literally the same person” because the ways in which they’re different could not be more glaring. For instance, Mary cares about Cas

#There are so many other glaring differences too but like. Lol. #Dean critical #Safeantidestiel #My posts

[castielmacleod]

See I know Dean isn’t in love with Cas even slightly because if Dean was in love with Cas even slightly, and Cas made a bowl of popcorn and offered him some while saying “I believe popped corn is customary” and smiling at him all painfully earnest with that face and those eyes, he would have melted instantly and not continued to be a frigid asshole over the pettiest most self-important and self-manufactured conflict to the angel who literally wants for nothing except his acceptance and approval

#Dean critical #Safeantidestiel #My posts #I literally hate this character so much. How did I ever pretend I didn’t #But actually who cares about him. Cas made the popcorn himself 🥺🤧