#Seeing Double (Fukuro and Nausagi)

[ikkaku-of-heart]

@aamaranthiine asked: ❌ Send my muse an ❌ for them to say one regret that they have. (Accepting!)

"I regret not being able to help my brothers," Ikkaku admitted. "Gramps was able to adopt me, but Fukuro and Nausagi...fuck, I knew they were going to suffer Ushi's wrath. They helped me out, and Fukuro got a mangled arm for it. I...I regret not even reaching out to them once Ushi had left for the Marines. I told myself they wouldn't want to see me. Blamed me. Now...I kinda wonder if I could have had a better relationship with them if I actually put in the effort."

#aamaranthiine #Ask the Heart Engineer #Working of the Mind (headcanons) #Seeing Double (Fukuro and Nausagi) #(ahhhh it's been too long since I talked about her fucked up family) #(Ikkaku does regret the relationship she could have had with two of her brothers) #(Ushi was a lost cause but they weren't)

[ikkaku-of-heart]

Ikkaku’s Mother: Shiokaze

Mother’s Day isn’t really a thing on Joras, and even after she left Ikkaku found no reason to celebrate it. Her mother, Shiokaze, was not a good mother. She physically and emotionally neglected Ikkaku, at times not acknowledging her existence and other times reminding her that she was not only unwanted, but considered an ill omen.

As she got older, Ikkaku realized her mother hadn’t been good to her brothers, either. Nausagi and Fukuro were, on the surface, loved, but when Ushi turned his abuse on them, Shiokaze turned a blind eye. She forced Fukuro hide the disfiguration of his arm, and she was much harder on the twins as they grew older, as it became more obvious that they were fraternal twins, not the lucky identical twins she’d always claimed they were. For Ushi, he was very much the golden child, but it’s quite clear that her spoiling him and allowing the town to put him on a pedestal, putting the pressure and arrogance of being Joras’ future hero, contributed to his sociopathic tendencies.

Yes, Shiokaze worked hard to provide for her children, but she was stubborn and prideful. She refused to accept help from Tomasu even though the whole family would have benefitted. Had she been a good mother, she would have allowed Tomasu to adopt not only Ikkaku, but the twins. She would have acknowledged her fuck-ups and allowed those Ushi did and would hurt to be free of him. But she only gave up Ikkaku because she already despised her. She kept the twins because giving them up would mean acknowledging that she had failed as a mother even worse than Tomasu had failed her as a father.

So, Ikkaku doesn’t really celebrate Mother’s Day, or whatever the OP equivalent would be. She’d never say she hates her mother, but she bears no love for her, either. She acknowledges that her mother was very much not the norm, and is grateful for that. She believes that every mother who did do right by her children should be celebrated. If she acknowledges the holiday at all, she’d rather speak of Arashi.

#Working of the Mind (headcanons) #Engine's Pulse (Ikkaku) #Mother's Scorn (Shiokaze) #Vainglorious Justice (Ushi) #Seeing Double (Fukuro and Nausagi) #Ghostlight Grandfather (Tomasu) #(forcing myself to actually remember Ikkaku's mom's name here lol) #(she's been such a non-entity in her life and that's probably for the best) #(lady absolutely fucked up her kids all while trying to hold some kind of moral superiority over Tomasu)

[ikkaku-of-heart]

@akagamiko​ asked: 30 & 32 for Ikkaku & Tomasu <3

Character Development Questions: Hard Mode (Still Accepting!)

30. What does your character find repulsive or disgusting?

Ikkaku

Spiders. Clowns. Clown spiders. The sound of rats in the walls. Blackbeard. Arkham. Mushrooms.

Tomasu

Spiders. Clown spiders. Blackbeard. Arkham. Doctors. Jellyfish. Ushi.

32. Describe a scenario in which your character feels most uncomfortable.

Ikkaku

Basically anytime Ikkaku says something in relation to her experience of Joras that, upon seeing the other party’s reactions, she knows makes her sound like a freak. For example, someone asks if she wants to go to the circus, and she immediately assumes they’re going to burn it down. The moment she gets *that* look, where she knows she said something far from “normal,” she will immediately be instantly uncomfortable and try to change the subject or potentially make an excuse to leave so she can hide away for a while.

Tomasu

Pretty much anytime he reflects on how he should have done better by his grandkids. Not Ushi, of course - that boy was a lost cause from the start. But he should have been around more for Ikkaku in the year after Arashi’s death instead of trying to drink himself into an early grave. Should have fought harder to get custody of the twins along with Ikkaku since he knew Ushi would make them suffer for saving their sister. He’s grateful that all three grandkids have grown up into intelligent, successful people who don’t blame him for his shortcomings, but he still perhaps tries a little too hard to be the best grandfather in the world in an attempt to chase away the shame he still feels at his failures.

#akagamiko #Working of the Mind (headcanons) #Ask the Heart Engineer #Engine's Pulse (Ikkaku) #Ghostlight Grandfather (Tomasu) #Seeing Double (Fukuro and Nausagi) #Vainglorious Justice (Ushi) #(both Ikkaku and Tomasu get the major ick feeling from Teach lol)

[ikkaku-of-heart]

@solbeaming​ asked: 5 and 16! ♥

Send me a number for my muse to talk about... (Still Accepting!)

5. someone they’ve forgiven

“My brothers Fukuro and Nausagi.” Ikkaku shook her head, sighing a little. “I mean, I guess I can’t ever really say I hated them or anything, but Law thinks they’re cowards for not protecting me more from Ushi when I was little. But they were scared of him too, and they were right to be. I mean, Fukuro’s got a disfigured arm because they stood up for me once. Can’t really blame them for not wanting to develop a relationship with me.”

It would have been nice to have been able to bond with them after Ushi left to join the Marines, but she understood why they stayed away. Too much pain and trauma. Too many ghosts that still haunted them all. Still, she bore no resentment. “Yeah, they were kinda dicks to me when I was little. Cut off my pigtails in my sleep, teased me, shunned me on my birthday. But they were still nicer than just about everyone else. They still saw me as their little sister enough to tell Gramps I went missing. They paid for it, and they knew they would, but they weren’t cowards when it really counted. So yeah, I forgive them for not being the brothers I wish they had been. They were victims too.”

16. someone they used to view negatively, but now view positively

“I hate to say it, but uh, Bepo and I didn’t get off to an idea start,” she admitted, ashamed. “I was scared of him when I first joined the crew. Gramps had told me stories about how he’d fought a demon polar bear in his youth because it had killed his friend. So, when I came across a talking polar bear, well, I kinda...panicked a bit. I got over it once I realized Bepo was the sweetest, nicest guy anyone could meet. He even made me tea when I was having nightmares during my first night on the ship. So I absolutely see him as one of my best friends now, and I’m pissed at myself for ever thinking otherwise, even if it was just for a little while. Bepo is the best of all of us.”

#solbeaming #Ask the Heart Engineer #Working of the Mind (headcanons) #Seeing Double (Fukuro and Nausagi) #Polar Bear Buddy (Bepo) #(yaaay got to talk about the oft-forgotten twins!) #(and also Bepo sweetite I'm sorry Ikkaku was ever scared of you I promise she absolutely adores you now!)